1 00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:04,605 - OKAY. HERE'S THE SITUATION. 2 00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:06,574 - YOUR PARENTS WENT AWAY ON A WEEK'S VACATION. 3 00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:09,143 THEY LEFT THE KEYS TO THE BRAND NEW PORSCHE. 4 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,278 WOULD THEY MIND? 5 00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:12,480 MM... WELL, OF COURSE NOT. 6 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,115 * I'LL JUST TAKE IT FOR A LITTLE SPIN * 7 00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:15,383 [Haverford beatboxing] 8 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:17,285 * AND MAYBE SHOW IT OFF TO A COUPLE OF FRIENDS * 9 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:19,753 * I'LL JUST CRUISE AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD * 10 00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:22,656 * WELL, MAYBE I SHOULDN'T-- YEAH, OF COURSE I SHOULD * 11 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,725 * PAY ATTENTION, HERE'S THE THICK OF THE PLOT * 12 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:27,128 * PULLED UP TO THE CORNER AT THE END OF MY BLOCK * 13 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,597 * THAT'S WHEN I SAW THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRLY-GIRL WALKIN' * 14 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,733 * I PICKED UP MY CAR PHONE TO PERPETRATE LIKE I WAS TALKIN' * 15 00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:37,638 * THE SUNROOF WAS OPEN, THE MUSIC WAS HIGH * 16 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:40,374 * AND THAT GIRL'S HAND WAS STEADILY MOVING UP MY THIGH * 17 00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:42,610 * SHE HAD OPENED UP THE BUTTONS ON HER SHIRT SO FAR * 18 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:45,313 * I GUESS THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T NOTICE THAT POLICE CAR * 19 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:47,381 * I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I MADE A MISTAKE * 20 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:49,750 * BUT PARENTS ARE THE SAME, NO MATTER TIME NOR PLACE * 21 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:52,520 * SO TO ALL YOU KIDS ALL ACROSS THE LAND * 22 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,423 * NO NEED TO ARGUE, PARENTS JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND * 23 00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,858 [cheers and applause] 24 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,693 THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 25 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,795 JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING I KNOW. 26 00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,131 SO WHAT'S UP? 27 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,699 - UH, SOMEONE IS ON FIRE IN RAMSETT PARK. 28 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,601 THEY NEED YOU TO GET DOWN THERE RIGHT AWAY. 29 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:10,171 - OH, MY GOD. 30 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:13,174 [triumphant music] 31 00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:21,215 * 32 00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:33,294 - I'VE BEEN SPENDING THE SUMMER DOING A LOT OF ZOO PROMOTIONS. 33 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:35,229 * FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW... * 34 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,697 PARROTS LIVE A VERY LONG TIME, 35 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:39,767 SO WE HAD A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR A PARROT THAT TURNED 60. 36 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,702 [everyone singing] * WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY 37 00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,771 [cheers and applause] - YAY. 38 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,773 CHIMPANZEES ARE VERY SMART, 39 00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,476 SO WE HAD THEM GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE. 40 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:49,910 AND THEY LIKE TO FLING THEIR FECES, 41 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,912 SO WE WERE HOPING THAT THEY WOULD FLING THEIR HATS, 42 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,681 BUT THEY-- [gasps, splattering noise] 43 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,716 THEY JUST FLUNGTHEIR FECES. [chimp screaming] 44 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:57,618 THE PAWNEE ZOO RECENTLY PURCHASED 45 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,687 TWO SOUTH AFRICAN BLACK-FOOTED PENGUINS, 46 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,555 TUX AND FLIPPER. 47 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:02,623 AND AS PART OF OUR ZOO PROMOTION, 48 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,259 WE ARE GOING TO GIVE THEM A MARRIAGE CEREMONY... 49 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:08,229 BECAUSE THEY MATE FOR LIFE. 50 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,898 TUX, DO YOU TAKE FLIPPER 51 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,734 TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE? 52 00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:16,937 I DO. I DO. 53 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,473 BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME 54 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,642 FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF PARKS AND RECREATION, 55 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,312 I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE. 56 00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,780 [cheers and applause] 57 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:29,750 [Mendelssohn's Wedding March] 58 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,585 [crowd giggling] 59 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,654 OH. 60 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:34,888 WELL... 61 00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:36,257 [nervous giggle] 62 00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:37,691 OKAY, WELL AT LEAST THEY'RE MARRIED. 63 00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:40,261 - ARE THEY MAKING BABIES? 64 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:43,297 - NO, NOT THOSE TWO. THOSE ARE BOTH BOY PENGUINS. 65 00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:44,765 - I'M SORRY? 66 00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,634 - TUX AND FLIPPER ARE BOTH BOYS. 67 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,569 SO YOU SHOULD HAVE PRONOUNCED THEM 68 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,304 HUSBAND AND HUSBAND, TECHNICALLY. 69 00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:51,505 - THAT'S AWESOME. 70 00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:53,874 [giggling] 71 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,476 - STILL... 72 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,245 YOU COULDN'T HAVE ASKED FOR BETTER WEATHER. 73 00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:58,746 [footsteps] 74 00:02:58,779 --> 00:02:59,747 BRENDANAWICZ... 75 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,282 YOU BIG SANDWICH EATER. 76 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:02,416 - OH! 77 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,285 MM, CUT IT OUT NOW. - [giggles] 78 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:06,320 OH, JUST TO BE CLEAR, THAT WAS A FRIEND PUNCH. 79 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:08,622 THERE WAS NO, YOU KNOW, FLIRTATIOUS MEANING 80 00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:10,691 BEHIND THAT PLAYFUL PUNCH I JUST GAVE YOUR ARM. 81 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:11,492 - YES, I DO UNDERSTAND. 82 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,561 UH, YOU'VE MADE IT ABUNDANTLY CLEAR 83 00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,863 THAT THERE'S NO ROMANTIC ELEMENT TO OUR RELATIONSHIP IN ANY WAY. 84 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,665 - YES. GOOD. 85 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:18,932 ISN'T IT GOOD TO BE ABLE TO JUST KIND OF 86 00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:20,501 HORSE AROUND LIKE THIS AS FRIENDS? 87 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:21,835 - IT IS...YEAH. - YEAH. 88 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,737 - I REALLY HIT ROCK BOTTOM THAT NIGHT. 89 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:26,474 AND I MEAN THAT I LITERALLY FELL 90 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,742 TO THE BOTTOM OF A PIT AND HIT A ROCK. 91 00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,711 I REMEMBER LAYING THERE, THINKING, 92 00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,947 "THERE'S PROBABLY A GOOD REASON WHY I'M DOWN HERE... 93 00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:36,016 AND SINGLE." 94 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,651 [soft chuckle] 95 00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:39,653 AND THEN I STARTED THINKING THAT I NEED MORPHINE. 96 00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:43,791 OH, YEAH. I HEAR YOU MADE TWO MALE PENGUINS VERY HAPPY TODAY. 97 00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,359 YOU'RE MAKING HISTORY, KNOPE. 98 00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:46,794 I LIKE THAT, STICKING YOUR NECK OUT. 99 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:47,695 - I--NO, I DIDN'T STICK MY NECK OUT. 100 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:48,929 IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 101 00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,698 - OUT OF THE MAINSTREAM, I THINK THAT'S COOL. 102 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,600 - I'M IN THE MAINSTREAM. - YEAH, I KNOW. 103 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:53,567 - NO, NO, NOT OUT OF IT. 104 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:54,635 - SOCIAL ACTIVISM. 105 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:55,536 - NO. UH-UH. 106 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,371 PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN DON'T REALLY LIKE 107 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,273 THEIR GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES BEING ACTIVISTS. 108 00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:01,642 LAST YEAR, A GARBAGE MAN WAS SUSPENDED 109 00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,711 FOR WEARING A LIVESTRONG BRACELET. 110 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,012 - HEY, LESLIE. 111 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:07,748 SOME GUY WHO OWNS A GAY BAR SENT YOU A CAKE. 112 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,049 - PAWNEE HAS A GAY BAR? 113 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:12,520 - YEAH. THE BULGE. 114 00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,322 IT'S BEHIND MY HOUSE. 115 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,023 - THE BULGE IS A GAY BAR? 116 00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:18,726 [sighs] THE NIGHTS I'VE WASTED THERE. 117 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,695 - "LESLIE, HEY GIRRRRRRRRL." 118 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,497 WITH EIGHT "R"s. 119 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:25,566 "THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING THE CAUSE OF GAY MARRIAGE. 120 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,868 YOU ROCK! THE BOYS AT THE BULGE." 121 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,770 - THEY THOUGHT THAT WAS A POLITICAL GESTURE? 122 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,539 OKAY, NOBODY EAT THAT CAKE. 123 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,474 TOM, STEP INTO MY OFFICE. 124 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,075 - THAT'S ALSO MY OFFICE. - YEAH, WHATEVER. 125 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,877 I KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT GAY. - NO, I'M NOT. 126 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:38,646 - BUT YOU'RE EFFEMINATE. - WHAT? 127 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,349 - WELL, YOU'RE WEARING A PEACH SHIRT WITH A COILED SNAKE ON IT. 128 00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:43,384 - YES, 'CAUSE IT WAS FEATURED IN DETAILS MAGAZINE 129 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,418 AND IT'S AWESOME. 130 00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:45,519 - EFFEMINATE. ANYWAY, 131 00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:48,922 SO THE POINT IS, DO YOU THINK THAT MARRYING PENGUINS 132 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,724 MADE SOME KIND OF STATEMENT? 133 00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:53,561 - YES, THE STATEMENT WAS THAT YOU'RE VERY LONELY, 134 00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:54,728 AND YOU NEED A PET. 135 00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:55,896 - HUH. 136 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,731 - LESLIE, THEY SENT YOU T-SHIRTS TOO. 137 00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,733 - OH. WOW, LOOK THEY SENT US A T-SHIRT. 138 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:03,337 HMM. 139 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:04,805 - MINE HAS A COLLAR ON IT. 140 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,342 - THERE SHE IS. LESLIE! 141 00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:09,610 - HEY. - HEY. 142 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:10,978 THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND, DEREK, 143 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,680 AND THIS IS DEREK'S BOYFRIEND, BEN. 144 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,815 - HI. - HEY. 145 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,584 OH! WAIT, SORRY. 146 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:17,585 WHAT'S THE SITUATION? 147 00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:18,752 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 148 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:19,787 - HOW DOES THIS WORK? 149 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,422 - DEREK IS GAY. 150 00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:23,023 BUT HE'S STRAIGHT FOR ME, BUT HE'S GAY FOR BEN, 151 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,625 AND BEN'S REALLY GAY FOR DEREK. 152 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,793 AND I HATE BEN. 153 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:26,960 - IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED. - NO. 154 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,896 - OH, YEAH. SURE. 155 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:33,767 THE THING ABOUT YOUTH CULTURE IS I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. 156 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,469 SO WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU GUYS? 157 00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:36,804 - THEY JUST REALLY WANTED TO MEET YOU, 158 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,106 BECAUSE YOU'RE KINDA LIKE THEIR HERO NOW. 159 00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,409 - OH, OH, APRIL. 160 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,076 OH, PLEASE, IT WAS JUST PENGUINS. 161 00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,845 - NO. - I'M A PUBLIC SERVANT, 162 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,747 AND I'M NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE A POLITICAL STANCE. 163 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,716 - BUT YOU DID, AND IT WAS AWESOME. 164 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,018 - YEAH, NONE OF THE OTHER POLITICIANS EVER TAKE A STAND, 165 00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:53,086 AND IT MEANS A LOT TO THE WHOLE GAY COMMUNITY. 166 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,788 - OH, WELL... - IT DOES. 167 00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:57,658 AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE THIS PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT AT THE BULGE, 168 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,427 AND WE HAD SOMETHING TO ASK YOU. 169 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,529 WE REALLY WANT YOU TO BE THE GUEST OF HONOR. 170 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:02,863 - OH, MY! 171 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,131 - IT'D BE AMAZING IF YOU CAME. 172 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:05,566 - YEAH, YOU HAVE TO COME. 173 00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:07,134 - WHO--WHO MADE THIS? 174 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,869 all: WE DID. - HOW? 175 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:09,903 - PHOTOSHOP. - WHAT? 176 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,639 - COMPUTERS. - OH. 177 00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:15,443 - HEY. 178 00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:16,677 WHY ARE YOU ALL DOLLED UP? 179 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:17,978 - OH, IT'S A LONG STORY. 180 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,481 I'M THE GUEST OF HONOR AT THIS GAY BAR TONIGHT. 181 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:23,116 I GUESS GAY MEN ARE STARTING TO LIKE ME. 182 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:26,620 I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS THEY THINK I'M FABULOUS OR SOMETHING. 183 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:27,855 - WELL, YOU LOOK GOOD, GIRL. 184 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,723 YOU GONNA TURN SOMEBODY TONIGHT. 185 00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:34,628 - [laughing] 186 00:06:34,662 --> 00:06:36,664 THAT WAS, HANDS DOWN, THE BEST INTERACTION 187 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,031 I'VE EVER HAD WITH DONNA. 188 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:42,002 - LESLIE, THIS IS MARCIA LANGMAN 189 00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:45,639 FROM THE SOCIETY FOR FAMILY STABILITY FOUNDATION. 190 00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,708 - OH, HELLO. I LOVE YOUR TOP. 191 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:48,709 - OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 192 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,078 I WAS JUST HOPING YOU HAD A MOMENT TO DISCUSS 193 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:52,813 THE EVENTS AT THE ZOO YESTERDAY. 194 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,915 - WELL, I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS, SO... 195 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,750 - WELL, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU 196 00:06:56,784 --> 00:07:01,088 AND THOSE FINE PEOPLE AT THE SFSF? 197 00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,856 - WELL, UM... 198 00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,191 YOU COULD RESIGN. [laughing] 199 00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:05,493 IF YOU'RE UP FOR IT. 200 00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:07,828 - OH, YOU'RE SERIOUS? 201 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:11,499 - WHEN YOU PERFORMED A MARRIAGE FOR GAY PENGUINS 202 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:14,802 USING TAXPAYER MONEY ON GOVERNMENT PROPERTY, 203 00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,837 YOU WERE SYMBOLICALLY TAKING A STAND 204 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:19,172 IN FAVOR OF THE GAY MARRIAGE AGENDA. 205 00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:21,975 - OH, I'M SORRY, BUT HOLD ON A SECOND THERE. 206 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:24,978 MARCIA, THAT WAS NOT MY INTENTION AT ALL. 207 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,515 - WELL, WHY ELSE WOULD YOU MARRY PENGUINS? 208 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:30,818 - BECAUSE I FIRMLY BELIEVED THAT IT WOULD BE CUTE. 209 00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:31,719 AND IT WAS. 210 00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,120 - LESLIE, ARE YOU MARRIED? 211 00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,221 - NO. 212 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,757 UM, NOT YET, MARCIA. 213 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:37,925 SOON. PROBABLY. 214 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,728 I HAVE A PLAN, BUT NOT-- NO, NOT NOW. 215 00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,696 NOT DATING ANYONE YET. 216 00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:43,831 FOCUSING ON MY CAREER, BUT... 217 00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,499 - I THOUGHT SO. 218 00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:47,768 SO YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND. 219 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:52,640 BUT WHEN GAYS MARRY, IT RUINS MARRIAGE FOR THE REST OF US. 220 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:55,175 SO EITHER YOU ANNUL THE WEDDING 221 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,811 OR I'LL PUBLICLY ASK FOR YOUR RESIGNATION. 222 00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,815 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SO TERRIBLE WITH DIRECTIONS. 223 00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:03,150 IF I'M HEADING TO THE PARKING LOT, 224 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,552 DO I MAKE A LEFT OUT OF HERE, 225 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:05,719 OR DO I GO RIGHT? - IT'S A LEFT, YEAH. 226 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,154 - THANK YOU. - YOU'RE WELCOME. 227 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:08,221 - ANNUL THE WEDDING! 228 00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:13,727 - [exhales slowly] 229 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,529 - HEY. - HI. 230 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:17,230 - I'M SUPPOSED TO MEET LESLIE FOR LUNCH, 231 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:21,101 BUT SHE ACTUALLY WORKS, SO... - OUCH. 232 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,703 - MARK WAS BROUGHT TO MY HOSPITAL 233 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,171 THE NIGHT OF THE ACCIDENT. 234 00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,739 HE WAS HERE FOR A WEEK. 235 00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:27,941 I THINK WHEN HIS HEAD HIT THE GROUND 236 00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,643 IT MUST'VE KNOCKED SOMETHING LOOSE, 237 00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:32,713 BECAUSE HE'S ACTUALLY A PRETTY NICE GUY NOW. 238 00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,783 AND ANDY, AFTER WE BROKE UP, 239 00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:38,051 HE TOLD ME HE WAS GOING TO KANSAS 240 00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,953 TO CLIMB MOUNTAINS. 241 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:44,725 SO, I DON'T--I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHERE HE IS. 242 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:47,294 - HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN THAT DOCUMENTARY ABOUT FOOD YET? 243 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,196 - NO, I HAVEN'T. BUT I HEARD IT'S REALLY GOOD. 244 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,631 I WANT TO SEE IT. 245 00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:53,033 - WE SHOULD GO TOGETHER. 246 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,068 - WHAT? OH, YEAH--NO. 247 00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,804 I DON'T-- I DON'T THINK SO. 248 00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:58,972 THAT--THAT WOULD BE LIKE A--A DATE. 249 00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,140 - OH, OKAY. 250 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,642 SAY NO MORE. 251 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:02,976 - MMM. 252 00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,812 I HATE SALAD. 253 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:08,616 - LESLIE, I DON'T WANT TO EVER KEEP SECRETS FROM YOU. 254 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:09,817 - OH, ME NEITHER. 255 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,719 LOOK, LET'S INVENT OUR OWN SECRET LANGUAGE 256 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:12,552 THAT ONLY WE UNDERSTAND, 257 00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:13,587 AND THEN WE CAN USE IT AROUND PEOPLE 258 00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,188 AND NO ONE WILL KNOW WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. 259 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,290 - OKAY. - OKAY. 260 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:20,661 - BUT IN THE MEANTIME, I'M JUST GONNA TELL YOU IN ENGLISH, 261 00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:24,131 UH, MARK KIND OF ASKED ME OUT. 262 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:27,334 HE WEIRDLY ASKED ME TO GO SEE A MOVIE WITH HIM. 263 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:28,902 AND I SAID NO, OF COURSE. 264 00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:32,072 BUT I JUST--I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW. 265 00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,010 - I'M FEELING A LOT OF CONFUSING THINGS RIGHT NOW. 266 00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,346 - YEAH-- NO, OF COURSE YOU ARE. 267 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:43,150 AND YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME. 268 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:45,786 AND HE'S OFF-LIMITS. 269 00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:50,323 - THANK YOU, MAN. 270 00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,192 I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I WAS REALLY SERIOUS 271 00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,827 ABOUT THAT SECRET LANGUAGE. - I KNOW. 272 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:56,830 [loud club music] 273 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,999 - I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS A GAY BAR. 274 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,001 - YEAH, ESPECIALLY WITH THAT HETEROSEXUAL COWBOY 275 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,336 GREETING US ON THE WAY IN. - WHERE SHOULD I DRINK NOW? 276 00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:05,739 - THERE'S A BAR ON EIGHTH STREET CALLED PITCHERS AND CATCHERS. 277 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,207 YOU CAN GO THERE. - YEAH. HEY! 278 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,742 HEY, LISTEN, HERE'S THE PLAN. 279 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:10,077 OUR POSITION IS WE HAVE NO POSITION. 280 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,145 SO LET'S JUST SAY THANK YOU FOR THE PARTY, 281 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:15,683 BUT WE REGRETFULLY DECLINE YOUR OFFER TO HONOR ME. 282 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,350 - OH, MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAME. 283 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,653 - OH, HI, APRIL. - DEREK, IT'S LESLIE KNOPE! 284 00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:21,221 - LESLIE KNOPE, YOU'RE MY HERO. 285 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,756 - OH, NICE. - LESLIE... 286 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:24,925 YOU ARE LOOKING HOT. - REALLY? 287 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,994 AW, THANK YOU, BEN! 288 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,196 AW, I'M REALLY ENJOYING THIS HUG. 289 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,999 IT'S SO NICE, BUT I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 290 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,033 - THIS ONE IS ON US. 291 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,836 - WELL, IF IT'S FREE. 292 00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,905 - LESLIE KNOPE! 293 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:43,711 [cheers and applause] 294 00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:47,080 - SHE--SHE'S LESLIE KNOPE AND SHE WANTS TO RECRUIT YOU. 295 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:48,682 [cheers and applause] 296 00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:49,917 - NO, NO, NO, NO. 297 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:53,987 OH, MY. OKAY, PLEASE-- [cheers and applause] 298 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,989 GENTLEMEN, FIRST OF ALL 299 00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,125 I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH 300 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,459 FOR THROWING ME THIS PARTY. 301 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,695 ESPECIALLY ON A NIGHT WHEN THE COLTS ARE PLAYING. 302 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:06,266 - WE LOVE YOU, LESLIE! [cheers] 303 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,135 - OKAY. 304 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,703 HUH, THIS IS GREEN. 305 00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:10,804 HMM. 306 00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:13,273 [cheers and applause] 307 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:16,109 all: [chanting] LESLIE, LESLIE, LESLIE! 308 00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:18,779 LESLIE, LESLIE, LESLIE! 309 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,080 LESLIE, LESLIE-- - OKAY. 310 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,449 WELL, I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I WASN'T REALLY 311 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:27,120 TRYING TO TAKE A STAND WHEN I MARRIED THOSE... 312 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,256 PENGUINS. - LESLIE, LESLIE, LESLIE! 313 00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,491 LESLIE, LESLIE, LESLIE! - YOU'RE CHANTING MY NAME. 314 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:34,194 - LESLIE, LESLIE, LESLIE! 315 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,864 LESLIE, LESLIE, LESLIE! - I JUST HAVE ONE THING TO SAY. 316 00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:39,332 TOGETHER WE CAN CHANGE PAWNEE FOREVER! 317 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,802 LET'S DANCE! [cheers] 318 00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,904 [cheers and applause] 319 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,773 - LESLIE KNOPE'S IN THE BUILDING, Y'ALL. 320 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,240 LET'S GET WILD! 321 00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:50,243 [hip-hop music starts] 322 00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:53,814 * 323 00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:56,249 - I'VE SEEN SO MANY DUDES FROM CITY HALL HERE TONIGHT, 324 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:57,450 IT'S CRAZY. 325 00:11:57,484 --> 00:12:00,353 BUT I GUESS THEY'VE SEEN ME HERE TOO. 326 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,355 SO, UH, THAT'S NOT GREAT. 327 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,825 - HEY. HI. 328 00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,827 I GOT YOUR TEXT, IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 329 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,428 - OH, YEAH! THEY'RE HAVING A PARTY IN MY HONOR. 330 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:09,396 GO TO THE BAR. 331 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,431 IF YOU'RE MY FRIEND, YOU CAN DRINK FOR FREE. 332 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,400 - OH, COOL! OKAY. 333 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:14,334 UH, AND MAYBE NEXT TIME, 334 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,503 DON'T USE THE WORDS "MEDICAL EMERGENCY." 335 00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,872 - I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE! 336 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,107 - I'M REALLY SOBER. 337 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,441 - OKAY, I'LL GET YOU A DRINK. 338 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,843 [mouthing lyrics] - * BOOM BOOM 339 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:28,849 * 340 00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:30,517 - YOU KNOW WHY TONIGHT'S FUN? 341 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,319 'CAUSE EVERYONE'S SO GAY. 342 00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:34,788 AND THEY KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN, 343 00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:37,157 AND THE DANCING! 344 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:41,028 JUST...IT'S EVERYONE IS JUST WHO THEY ARE, 345 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,797 AND WHO THEY ARE IS JUST STONE-COLD GAY. 346 00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:45,198 [Lady Gaga's Poker Face] - * CAN'T READ MY 347 00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,300 * CAN'T READ MY, NO, HE CAN'T READ * 348 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,569 * MY POKER FACE 349 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,839 - * SHA BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH * 350 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:56,209 * MY MY MY MY POKER FACE MY MY POKER FACE * 351 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:59,212 * MY MY MY MY POKER FACE MY MY POKER FACE * 352 00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:00,480 I'M HAVING SUCH A NICE TIME TONIGHT. 353 00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:03,183 I'VE MET MANY INTERESTING PEOPLE. 354 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,585 AND THERE'S TWO BISEXUAL GUYS HERE, 355 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,387 AND I GOT BOTH OF THEIR PHONE NUMBERS. 356 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:08,889 HA HA! 357 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,827 * MY MY MY MY POKER FACE MY MY POKER FACE * 358 00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:16,830 * MY MY MY MY POKER FACE MY MY POKER FACE * 359 00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:19,466 * MY MY MY POKER FACE... - ALL MORNING. 360 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:22,035 - * OH, OH, OH, OH, OH 361 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,371 * SHOW ME WHAT'S HOT, SHOW ME WHAT I GOT * 362 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:25,605 * CAN'T READ MY, CAN'T READ MY * 363 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,874 - HAVE FUN LAST NIGHT? 364 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,842 - I HAD THREE DRINKS NAMED AFTER ME, 365 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,210 SO THAT'S PRETTY FUN. 366 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:33,046 PLUS, BEN AND DEREK ARE TAKING ME SHOPPING ON SATURDAY. 367 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,483 AND WE ARE GONNA FIND OUT MY ACTUAL BRA SIZE. 368 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,518 I GUESS I'M KIND OF LIKE QUEEN OF THE GAYS. 369 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,487 - BULLY FOR YOU. 370 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,454 I JUST GOT A PHONE CALL. 371 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,523 THEY WANT YOU TO GO ON PAWNEE TODAY. 372 00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,492 - WOW, THAT'S HUGE! WHAT'S THE TOPIC? 373 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,960 - YOU. 374 00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:48,628 THAT MARCIA LANGMAN FROM THE FAMILY THING 375 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,163 IS CALLING FOR YOUR RESIGNATION. 376 00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:51,398 - NO! 377 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,866 - YOU GOTTA GO ON AND DEFEND YOURSELF. 378 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,334 - WHY? 379 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,503 I HAVEN'T EVEN OFFICIALLY TAKEN A STAND ON GAY MARRIAGE. 380 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:57,604 - THAT'S FUNNY. 381 00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:00,607 SOMEBODY JUST TOLD ME YOU WERE QUEEN OF THE GAYS. 382 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:06,479 - THAT WAS ME. 383 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,481 - PAWNEE TODAY, WITH JOAN CALLAMEZZO. 384 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,084 IT'S KIND OF LIKE THE MEET THE PRESS OF OUR TOWN. 385 00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:12,285 - IT'S THE BIG TIME, LESLIE. 386 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,054 - YEAH, I KNOW, IT IS. I'M NERVOUS. 387 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,356 I JUST WISH I WAS HERE UNDER DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES. 388 00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,191 [sighs] - GUESS WHO! 389 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,659 - UM, MEGAN FOX? - [laughing] 390 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,094 - ONE OF THE DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES? 391 00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:23,130 - [laughing] NO, JOAN CALLAMEZZO. 392 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,264 - HEY, JOANIE! 393 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,966 WHAT'S UP, GORGEOUS? GOOD TO SEE YOU! 394 00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,968 - TOM COMES ON THE SHOW ALL THE TIME; JOAN LOVES HIM. 395 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,137 - YOU HAVE THE SOFTEST SKIN OF ANY WOMAN IN PAWNEE. 396 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,371 - THANK YOU. 397 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,306 - I WISH YOU COULD REACH FROM YOUR TV SCREEN 398 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,108 AND JUST TOUCH JOAN'S SKIN FOR A SECOND. 399 00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,476 - OH, THAT'S SWEET. - YOU'D HAVE A TREAT. 400 00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:37,945 - YOU'RE PRETTY SOFT YOURSELF. 401 00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:38,979 - HOW ARE YOUR KIDS DOING? 402 00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,247 - THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD. 403 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,183 - IS IT TOUGH FOR THEM TO HAVE A MOTHER THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL? 404 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,218 WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING THE MOST ATTRACTIVE WOMAN IN PAWNEE? 405 00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:46,453 - YOU KEEP UP THOSE FUNNIES. 406 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,388 I'M GONNA HAVE TO INVITE YOU OVER FOR SUPPER. 407 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,157 - WELL, I'LL HAVE TO COME OVER FOR SUPPER. 408 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,591 - OH! WELL... 409 00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:58,165 - OH, MY GOD! 410 00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,499 - ANN PERKINS. HOW YOU DOING? 411 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,201 - [giggling] I'M GOOD. 412 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,970 HOW WAS MOUNTAIN CLIMBING? 413 00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:04,371 - OH! 414 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,438 WHAT? 415 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:08,241 - [awkward laugh] 416 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,209 - CAN I COME IN? 417 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,178 I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND. 418 00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,613 - SURE, YEAH. 419 00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:16,449 [generic Muzak] 420 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:19,219 - WE HAVE A CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC TODAY-- 421 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:22,155 THE GAY PENGUIN MARRIAGE AT THE PAWNEE ZOO. 422 00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:25,192 SO MARCIA, WHAT IS ALL THE FUSS ABOUT? 423 00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:28,595 - THE FUSS IS THAT MISS KNOPE CLAIMED 424 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,464 THAT SHE WAS NOT ADVOCATING FOR THIS GAY CAUSE. 425 00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,566 AND THEN THAT VERY NIGHT, 426 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:37,170 SHE WAS THE GUEST OF HONOR AT A PRO-GAY MARRIAGE RALLY 427 00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:39,672 AT A BAR CALLED THE BULGE. 428 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,074 - MISS KNOPE, HOW DO YOU RESPOND? 429 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,509 - I'D FIRST LIKE TO SAY THAT I WASN'T 430 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,211 TRYING TO ADVOCATE FOR ANYONE. 431 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:47,247 I DID NOT KNOW THAT BOTH OF THE PENGUINS WERE MALES, 432 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,984 AND I WAS JUST TRYING TO PERFORM A CUTE, FUN CEREMONY 433 00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:52,252 TO PROMOTE OUR LOCAL ZOO. 434 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,054 - I HAVE TO SAY THAT 435 00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:56,389 THAT STUNT THAT YOU DID WITH THE PENGUINS 436 00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,158 WAS CLEARLY OVER THE LINE. 437 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,293 NOW, MARCIA, WHAT-- IF ANYTHING-- 438 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:03,230 CAN MISS KNOPE DO TO MAKE IT RIGHT? 439 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,698 - UH, JOAN, WE DON'T WANT TO BE UNREASONABLE. 440 00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,200 - OF COURSE NOT. - [laughing] 441 00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:10,003 WE THINK THAT SHE SHOULD SEPARATE THE PENGUINS, 442 00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:13,206 ANNUL THE MARRIAGE, REIMBURSE THE TAXPAYERS 443 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,542 FOR THE COST OF THE WEDDING, OF COURSE, 444 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,577 AND THEN RESIGN. 445 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,112 - OH, IS THAT IT? 446 00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,180 - THAT WOULD DO IT. 447 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,281 - ANYTHING ELSE? 448 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,516 WANT ME TO JUMP OFF A BUILDING? PERFORM HARRY CARAY? 449 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:25,718 - MOVE TO A DIFFERENT TOWN. NO, I KID. 450 00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:28,055 - [nervous chuckle] FULL OF IDEAS HERE TODAY. 451 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:30,223 - THIS IS THE REASON WHY PEOPLE DON'T GO INTO POLITICS. 452 00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:33,093 BECAUSE YOU KNOW, I BUST MY ASS FOR THE PEOPLE IN THIS CITY, 453 00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,194 AND I CAN'T WIN. 454 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,163 I HAVE ONE NIGHT OF FUN 455 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:38,598 WITH SOME OF THE BEST DANCERS I'VE EVER DANCED WITH, 456 00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:41,034 AND SUDDENLY EVERYBODY'S FREAKING OUT? 457 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,136 - WOW, LOOK AT THAT! WOW, WE'RE LIGHTING UP HERE. 458 00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:44,304 - OH, GOOD. GREAT, LET'S GO FOR IT. 459 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,305 OKAY, GREAT. BRING IT ON. 460 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,573 HOW DOES THIS WORK? 461 00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,108 - WELL, THERE, YOU PRESS THAT ONE-- 462 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,809 - GREAT, OKAY. HEY, YOU'RE ON THE AIR. 463 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,245 - YEAH, I THINK THAT LADY SHOULD RESIGN. 464 00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:54,281 - OKAY, GOOD. THANK YOU, NEXT CALLER. 465 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:57,484 - YOU SHOULD RESIGN AND REPAY YOUR SALARY. 466 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,119 - OKAY, TWO FOR RESIGN. 467 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,287 THANK YOU, NEXT CALLER. 468 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,255 - I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I LOVE THE ZOO 469 00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,524 AND THE ZOO IS REALLY FUN. 470 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,359 - THANK YOU. 471 00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:07,627 THAT'S REALLY SWEET. 472 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,262 - AND I THINK YOU SHOULD RESIGN. 473 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,101 - YOU LOOK GREAT. YOU LOOK AMAZING. 474 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,736 - THANKS. YOU LOOK FANCY. 475 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,206 - OH, YEAH. THE MONKEY SUIT. 476 00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,241 IT COST 3,000 BUCKS, BUT TOTALLY WORTH IT. 477 00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:23,276 I SOLD OUT. [laughing] 478 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:24,811 I GOT A BORING OFFICE JOB IN TOWN, 479 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,114 SO I GOTTA DRESS UP. 480 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,515 YOU KNOW, THE GRIND. 481 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,117 BUT I'M REALLY HAPPY, 482 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:33,553 AND I REALLY FEEL LIKE I'VE MATURED...A LOT. 483 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:36,656 - GOOD, THAT'S-- I'M HAPPY FOR YOU. 484 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,126 - SO LISTEN, I WAS SITTING IN THE CUBICLE THE OTHER DAY, 485 00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:42,195 DOING SOME THINKING, SOME GROWING... 486 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:43,196 - AND SOME MATURING. 487 00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:45,165 - HA HA! YES, MATURING. 488 00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:49,136 AND DARN IT IF I DON'T JUST MISS YOU. 489 00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,171 - ANDY-- - AND--OH, "A"-CAKES, 490 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,373 JUST-- JUST LET ME, UH... 491 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,807 I LOVE YOU, 492 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,145 AND I'M JUST REALLY SORRY FOR THE WAY THAT I TREATED YOU. 493 00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,579 I WAS THE WORST BOYFRIEND EVER. 494 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,681 I KNOW THAT. 495 00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,583 AND I REALLY THINK IT WOULD BEHOOVE US 496 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:05,252 TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT. 497 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,220 - YEAH, LOOK... 498 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:09,456 I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU ABOUT YOUR JOB 499 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,125 AND THAT YOU'VE LEARNED SOME NEW WORDS, 500 00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:14,427 BUT I'M SURE ABOUT MY DECISION. 501 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,232 - OKAY. SAY NO MORE. 502 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,768 LISTEN, HIT ME UP ON MY CELL PHONE. 503 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,403 I'LL BE AROUND. 504 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,139 AND IF YOU WANNA TALK OR GRAB COFFEE, 505 00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:28,141 OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, OKAY? - OKAY. 506 00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:30,143 - OH! GOTTA GET BACK TO THE OFFICE. 507 00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:31,211 [door opening] HAVE A GOOD ONE. 508 00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:32,212 - BYE. - GOOD SEEING YOU. 509 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,547 [door closing] 510 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,929 THE HARDEST PART ABOUT LIVING IN THIS PIT? 511 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,131 IT'S PROBABLY KEEPING MY SUIT PRESSED. 512 00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:57,870 AND THE RATS. 513 00:18:57,904 --> 00:19:00,907 IT'S LIKE A FREAKIN' RAT PARADE EVERY NIGHT. 514 00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,809 I JUST WANT TO BE CLOSE TO HER HOUSE 515 00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,911 BECAUSE I NEED TO PROTECT HER. 516 00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:08,248 'CAUSE THERE ARE SOME WEIRD PEOPLE THAT LIVE AROUND HERE. 517 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,517 - [on phone] YEAH, IF YOU LET PENGUINS GET MARRIED, 518 00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:11,784 WHERE DOES IT END? 519 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,853 I MEAN, WOULD YOU LET ME MARRY MY GUINEA PIG? 520 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:16,389 BECAUSE I REALLY DO WANT TO MARRY MY GUINEA PIG. 521 00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:17,890 I'LL TAKE MY ANSWER OFF THE AIR. 522 00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,091 - I THINK THAT'S A VALUABLE POINT. 523 00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:21,561 - YOU KNOW, ATTENDANCE IS UP 30% AT THE ZOO, BY THE WAY. 524 00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:23,263 YOU'RE WELCOME! 525 00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:24,897 AND THAT PENGUIN WEDDING WAS CUTE, DAMN IT. 526 00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,266 AND I'M NOT GOING TO ANNUL IT. 527 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:27,800 - I'D ASK YOU TO RECONSIDER. 528 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,570 - WELL, I'D ASK YOU TO STOP ASKING ME. 529 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:33,240 BECAUSE IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN, MARCIA. 530 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:34,874 - IS THAT RIGHT? - LAST TIME I CHECKED, 531 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,310 I DON'T THINK I--I--I MURDERED ANYONE, 532 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:40,213 OR HAD AN AFFAIR, OR DID DRUGS! 533 00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,881 BUT I APOLOGIZE. 534 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,816 I APOLOGIZE FOR HAVING FUN 535 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,252 AND FOR MAKING SOMETHING CUTE. 536 00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,622 - WHERE ARE YOU FROM ORIGINALLY? 537 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,658 - OH, NO! WHAT DID I DO? 538 00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:54,761 - SO YOU WILL NOT BE ANNULLING-- 539 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,729 - NO, I WILL NOT BE ANNULLING. 540 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,331 NO. 541 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,670 LOOK AT THEM. 542 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:07,307 THEY'RE JUST IN THEIR OWN LITTLE...PENGUIN LOVE BUBBLE. 543 00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:11,278 I GUESS THAT'S WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU MEET YOUR MATE 544 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:12,879 AND KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE TOGETHER FOREVER. 545 00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:16,816 [doorbell ringing] 546 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,685 - HI. - HI. 547 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:19,952 YOU KNOW WHAT I REALIZED? - WHAT? 548 00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:21,388 - WE'RE JUST ANIMALS. 549 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:22,989 WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT LOVE. 550 00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,624 - OKAY. - YEAH. 551 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,259 I THINK YOU SHOULD GO ON THAT DATE WITH MARK. 552 00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:27,827 - OH, LESLIE-- 553 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:29,262 - REALLY, SERIOUSLY, I THOUGHT ABOUT IT. 554 00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:31,398 AND...LOOK, HE MIGHT NOT BE MY GAY PENGUIN, 555 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,865 BUT HE COULD BE YOURS. 556 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,001 - LOOK, I TOLD YOU, I'M NOT GOING ON A DATE WITH HIM. 557 00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:36,803 - OKAY, FINE. 558 00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,004 IF YOU DON'T WANNA GO OUT WITH HIM, DON'T GO OUT WITH HIM. 559 00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:39,772 BUT DON'T NOT DO IT BECAUSE OF ME. 560 00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,441 'CAUSE I'M REALLY FINE WITH IT. 561 00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:44,043 ALL THAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME IS THAT WE'RE STILL FRIENDS. 562 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,679 - ME TOO. - GOOD, GREAT. 563 00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:50,149 PLUS, I ALREADY CALLED AND TOLD HIM 564 00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:52,385 THAT YOU WERE DYING TO GO OUT WITH HIM, SO HAVE FUN. 565 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,421 - HUH? 566 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,791 - SO I TRANSFERRED THE PENGUINS TO A ZOO IN IOWA. 567 00:20:58,825 --> 00:20:59,992 GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL THERE, 568 00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:01,961 SO HOPEFULLY THEY'LL BE HAPPY. 569 00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:03,262 AT LEAST THEY'LL BE TOGETHER. 570 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,769 OH, LOOK! SIX FLAGS! 571 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,404 I SHOULD TAKE THEM ON A WATER SLIDE. 572 00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:13,906 THEY MIGHT DIE. BUT IT WOULD BE SO CUTE! 573 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,943 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com