1 00:00:01,569 --> 00:00:03,171 >> OKAY NOW, SEE, HERE'S A GOOD EXAMPLE 2 00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:04,338 OF A PLANT THAT YOU CAN'T EAT. 3 00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:06,474 SEE ALL THE SPIKES? SO TWO THINGS. 4 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,509 ONE, IT'S POISONOUS. AND TWO, IT WOULD HURT. 5 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,611 >> THE PARKS DEPARTMENT HAS SO MANY PROGRAMS. 6 00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:13,147 JERRY'S IN CHARGE OF OUR PRETEEN NATURE HIKES. 7 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:16,117 FOR A WHILE, IT WAS A TEENAGE NATURE HIKE. 8 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:19,153 BUT THEN WE CHANGED IT BECAUSE A GIRL GOT PREGNANT. 9 00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:21,689 >> LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE. COUNTRY HONEYSUCKLE, 10 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,491 PAWNEE-STYLE. 11 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:24,625 >> OH. >> YEAH, TAKE A LOOK AT THAT. 12 00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:25,459 >> WOW. 13 00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:26,660 >> IT'S PRETTY AND IT SMELLS GOOD. 14 00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:27,828 >> MM, SMELLS GREAT. 15 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,064 >> YEAH, IT'S REALLY NICE. 16 00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:32,133 >> OH, ECH. 17 00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,634 EW. OH, THAT'S BITTER. 18 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,137 >> LESLIE, YOU DON'T EAT IT. >> WHY DID YOU LET ME EAT THAT? 19 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,605 >> I NEVER TOLD YOU TO EAT THAT. >> OH, GOD. 20 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,073 >> LESLIE, THE ANIMALS KNOW YOU DON'T EAT 21 00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:40,441 THE COUNTRY HONEYSUCKLE. 22 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:41,609 >> I'M NOT AN ANIMAL. MY TONGUE IS SWELLING UP. 23 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,444 >> NO, NO, DON'T TOUCH-- 24 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,645 OKAY, NOW YOU'LL HAVE TO THROW THAT AWAY. 25 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,247 >> [mumbling] LET'S NOT SCARE THE KIDS. 26 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,781 >> OKAY. WELL, THERE WE GO THEN. 27 00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:49,850 >> SO LET'S SHOW 'EM WHAT OTHER PLANTS WE COULD EAT, JERRY. 28 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:54,555 >> BUT I HAVE TO SAY IT'S A VERY SWEET AFTERTASTE THOUGH. 29 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,558 [cheerful music] 30 00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:05,599 * 31 00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:28,256 >> SO I HAVE A PIECE OF GOOD NEWS. 32 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:30,224 I'VE INVITED A REPORTER TO COME DO AN ARTICLE 33 00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:31,692 ABOUT THE PIT BEHIND YOUR HOUSE. 34 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,461 SHE WRITES FOR THE PAWNEE JOURNAL, 35 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:37,465 WHICH IS KIND OF LIKE OUR TOWN'S WASHINGTON POST. 36 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,600 >> THAT SOUNDS REALLY GOOD. 37 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:40,601 >> THANK YOU, ANN. 38 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:42,503 IT IS A CLASSIC STRATEGY. 39 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,272 THE PRESS IS A WEAPON, 40 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:47,275 AND YOU CAN USE IT TO KILL PEOPLE OR TO FEED PEOPLE. 41 00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:48,876 YOU KNOW, THE BEGINNING OF PROJECTS ARE VERY VULNERABLE. 42 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,911 AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU GET A LOT OF PRESS 43 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,846 'CAUSE THE MOMENTUM OF THAT CAN KIND OF KEEP IT ALIVE, 44 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,682 OR ELSE IT'LL DIE. 45 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:55,883 I MEAN, I'M SURE YOU REMEMBER 46 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:57,618 THE TUCKER PARK GRAFFITI REMOVAL PROJECT. 47 00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,154 THE TUCKER PARKER GRAFFITI REMOVAL PROJECT 48 00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:02,690 WAS A GREAT IDEA THAT JUST RAN OUT OF STEAM. 49 00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:07,661 WE HAD REMOVED FIVE CARTOON PENISES--NOT EVEN 10%-- 50 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,697 WHEN WE WERE SHUT DOWN DUE TO LACK OF FUNDING. 51 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:13,401 TO THIS DAY, I AM HAUNTED BY THOSE REMAINING PENISES. 52 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,638 ONE PENIS IN PARTICULAR. 53 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,507 NOW WHEN THE REPORTER GETS HERE, 54 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,775 IT IS VITAL THAT WE ALL FOLLOW MY RULES 55 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,511 ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH THE MEDIA. 56 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,713 RULE NUMBER ONE: STAY ON MESSAGE. 57 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:26,847 THIS IS KEY. 58 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,418 ALL WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT IS THE PIT, 59 00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:33,321 AND THE FACT THAT WE'RE GONNA TURN IT INTO A PARK. 60 00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:34,655 AND THAT'S IT. OKAY? 61 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,357 NUMBER TWO: WHAT? 62 00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:37,725 STAY ON MESSAGE AGAIN? 63 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,860 YES, IT'S THAT IMPORTANT. 64 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:40,928 IT'S ONE AND TWO. 65 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,496 STAY ON MESSAGE AND STAY ON MESSAGE. 66 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,598 RIGHT? STAY ON WHAT, ANN? 67 00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,200 >> MESSAGE. >> GREAT. 68 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,468 >> LESLIE FORMED A COMMITTEE 69 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,671 TO FILL THE PIT IN A WEEK, 70 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,640 WHICH IS REALLY IMPRESSIVE. 71 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,842 I MEAN UNTIL NOW, MY ONLY EXPERIENCE WITH GOVERNMENT 72 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,577 WAS TRYING TO GET A RECYCLING BIN. 73 00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,547 WAIT. DID I EVER GET IT? 74 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,615 BYE, LESLIE. >> BYE, ANN. 75 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,617 HEY, MARK. 76 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:06,620 >> YEAH. 77 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:09,890 >> BUY YOU A CUP OF COFFEE? 78 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,660 THIS IS JJ'S DINER, 79 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,729 THE UNOFFICIAL MEETING PLACE OF PAWNEE'S POLITICAL ELITE. 80 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:18,666 THE PEOPLE WHO EAT HERE BASICALLY RUN THIS TOWN. 81 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:21,402 SO LISTEN, I WAS HOPING MAYBE I COULD PICK YOUR BRAIN 82 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:22,703 ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH THE MEDIA. 83 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,305 IT'S MY FIRST INTERVIEW. 84 00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:25,506 >> WHAT ABOUT THAT THING YOU DID 85 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,540 FOR THE MIDDLE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER LAST YEAR? 86 00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,642 >> OH, NO. I DON'T COUNT THAT. 87 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:30,844 THAT WAS A SMEAR JOB. 88 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,780 SO I PUT TOGETHER SOME DISCUSSION TOPICS. 89 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:33,847 CAN I RUN THEM BY YOU? 90 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:36,484 >> OKAY. 91 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,619 >> WHAT DO YOU THINK HER OPENING GAMBIT IS GONNA BE? 92 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:39,753 WHAT IS SHE GONNA ASK ME FIRST? 93 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,555 >> HOW YOU SPELL YOUR NAME. 94 00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:44,892 >> OF COURSE. BECAUSE OF THE SILENT K. 95 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,261 YOU'RE SO SMART. >> YEAH. 96 00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,029 >> OKAY, NOW SHOULD I GIVE HER A TOUR OF THE BUILDING? 97 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,799 >> HOW MANY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS DO YOU HAVE THERE? 98 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,768 >> UH, 30. >> WOW. 99 00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,370 YOU'RE INSANE. 100 00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:58,506 >> YOU'R INSANE. 101 00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:01,041 [laughs] 102 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,643 MARK AND I MADE LOVE ONCE. 103 00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:06,480 AND IT WAS VERY INTENSE. 104 00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,917 >> HI, I'M LOOKING FOR LESLIE KNOPE. 105 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,752 >> OKAY. 106 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,621 >> OH, MY EARS ARE RINGING. 107 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:14,755 HI. >> HI. 108 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,924 >> I'M LESLIE KNOPE. >> HI. 109 00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,559 >> I'M THE DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF PARKS AND RECREATION. 110 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:19,660 >> SHAUNA. >> MALWAE-TWEEP. 111 00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,729 YES, I AM FAMILIAR WITH YOUR WORK. 112 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,831 I'VE READ EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER WRITTEN. 113 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,733 YOU DID AN AMAZING IN-DEPTH ARTICLE 114 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,401 ON THE RACCOON PROBLEM HERE IN PAWNEE. 115 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:28,869 AH! 116 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,738 WHO LEFT THE DOOR OPEN? 117 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,474 NO! NO! NO! 118 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:36,610 AND I AGREE WITH YOU. THEY ARE NATURE'S BANDITS. 119 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,612 >> THANKS. I WAS HAPPY WITH THAT LINE. 120 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:40,948 >> SO, UH, CAN I GIVE YOU A QUICK TOUR 121 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:42,316 BEFORE WE GET STARTED? 122 00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:45,653 >> I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE. A FEW TIMES. 123 00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:48,356 >> QUICK TOUR? >> OKAY. 124 00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,625 >> THERE ARE THREE MURALS HERE IN THE HALL. 125 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:54,728 AND THIS IS CALLED "THE TRIAL OF CHIEF WAMAPO." 126 00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:58,098 IT WAS PAINTED IN 1936 AND THIS IS CHIEF WAMAPO. 127 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:02,603 AND HE WAS CONVICTED OF CRIMES AGAINST THE SOLDIERS. 128 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:07,641 I AM ALWAYS AMAZED AT HIS... QUIET DIGNITY. 129 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,878 RIGHT BEFORE HE'S KILLED BY A CANNONBALL. 130 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,680 >> I'M SURPRISED NO ONE'S COMPLAINED ABOUT THIS. 131 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,114 >> OH, TONS OF PEOPLE HAVE. 132 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,617 YEAH, WE GET LETTERS EVERY DAY. 133 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,352 THIS IS RON SWANSON, OUR BOSS. 134 00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:19,453 RON, THIS IS THE REPORTER I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT. 135 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:20,521 >> NO COMMENT. 136 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:21,989 >> ABOUT WHAT? 137 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,525 >> HEY HAVERFORD, MAYBE ONE DAY YOU'LL FIGURE OUT 138 00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:25,993 HOW TO SPELL A THREE-LETTER WORD. 139 00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,728 >> PSSH, COME ON, RON. 140 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,597 I PLAY A LOT OF ONLINE SCRABBLE WITH MY BOSS, 141 00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:32,833 RON SWANSON, AND OH, MY GOD, 142 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,469 THAT GUY IS THE BEST. 143 00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:37,070 HE BEATS ME EVERY TIME. HE KILLS ME. 144 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,072 HE'S AWESOME. I CAN'T BEAT HIM. 145 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:42,376 I SHOULD JUST CLOSE MY ACCOUNT. UGH! 146 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:43,811 >> WELL, SHAUNA, THIS IS OUR CRACK TEAM. 147 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:44,845 >> HI, EVERYONE. 148 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,648 >> TOM HAVERFORD. BOY GENIUS. 149 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,383 SMOOTH LIKE MILK CHOCOLATE. 150 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:50,784 >> THAT'S A WEIRD WAY TO DESCRIBE ME. 151 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,786 >> APRIL LUDGATE, 19. 152 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,423 COOL ENOUGH TO BE INVITED ANYWHERE AND CHOOSES TO BE HERE. 153 00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:58,592 AND FINALLY, WE'VE GOT ANN PERKINS 154 00:05:58,626 --> 00:05:59,460 AND ANDY DWYER. 155 00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:00,661 THEY'RE THE REAL HEROES OF THIS STORY. 156 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,597 ANN WAS THE CITIZEN WHO BROUGHT THE PIT TO OUR ATTENTION. 157 00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:07,535 AND ANDY IS THE CITIZEN WHO FELL IN IT. 158 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:09,703 >> GREAT. 159 00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:12,673 IT'S COOL IF I RECORD THIS, RIGHT? 160 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,676 >> YEAH. GOOD. 161 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,645 THAT WAY IT'S VERBATIM. 162 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,614 >> SO LESLIE, YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF THE COMMITTEE. 163 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:25,586 >> I'M SORRY. IT'S... 164 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:26,920 IT'S ACTUALLY CALLED A SUBCOMMITTEE, 165 00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:27,721 NOT A COMMITTEE, SO. 166 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:30,624 >> UM, WE CAN DO ALL THIS ON TAPE. 167 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,760 >> RIGHT. SORRY. 168 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:36,664 SURE WE CAN. 169 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,599 >> AND THIS IS WHERE YOU MEET GENERALLY? 170 00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:39,567 REALLY? 171 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,603 >> WE MEET AT A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT PLACES. 172 00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:43,571 WE DON'T ALWAYS MEET HERE. 173 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:44,772 SO I DIDN'T QUITE KNOW 174 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,440 [whispers] HOW TO ANSWER THAT. 175 00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:47,908 >> OKAY, WHY DON'T I ASK THE REST OF YOUR TEAM 176 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,077 SOME QUESTIONS AND THEN WE WILL COME BACK TO YOU LATER? 177 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,745 >> OKAY, GREAT. THAT'S GOOD. 178 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:52,446 BECAUSE THESE ARE THE REAL HEROES. 179 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,147 I'M GONNA BE IN MY OFFICE. 180 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,823 >> SO ANDY, TELL ME ABOUT THE NIGHT 181 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,157 YOU FELL INTO THE PIT. 182 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,893 >> OH, YEAH. THAT'S ACTUALLY A GREAT STORY. 183 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,562 UM, I JUST FINISHED UP A GIG WITH MY BAND 184 00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:11,164 THREE SKIN, FORMERLY FORESKIN, 185 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,033 BUT OUR BASSIST LEFT FOR PERSONAL REASONS. 186 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,568 AND I WAS TAKING THE SHORTCUT HOME, 187 00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:18,506 AND I THOUGHT I SAW A TOASTER LYING IN THE PIT. 188 00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,541 AND I WAS LIKE, "MAYBE I SHOULD GET THAT." 189 00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:23,677 AND I FELL IN AND BROKE MY LEGS. 190 00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:24,478 >> SUCH A TRAGEDY. 191 00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:26,146 >> WHY WOULD YOU WANT A TOASTER 192 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,615 THAT'S LYING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PIT? 193 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:28,982 >> I DON'T KNOW. I WAS PRETTY WASTED. 194 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,619 >> WAIT-- >> YOU WERE DRUNK? 195 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,253 >> OH, YEAH. TOTALLY. YOU KNEW THAT. 196 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,688 >> I DIDN'T KNOW THAT, NO. 197 00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:36,256 YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME, 198 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,758 BECAUSE WE GAVE YOU ANESTHESIA AT THE HOSPITAL. 199 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,826 >> I WAS PROBABLY NOT THINKING 'CAUSE I HAD 200 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:41,061 TWO BROKEN FEMURS AND I WAS, LIKE, BLACKOUT DRUNK. 201 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:42,730 >> ANDY, I JUST--I CAN'T-- 202 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:43,997 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M JUST FINDING THIS OUT RIGHT NOW. 203 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,198 >> OH, LIKE YOU'RE PERFECT. 204 00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:46,299 YOU'RE ON THE PILL. YOU DRINK ALL THE TIME. 205 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:49,236 >> YOU'RE ALLOWED TO DO THAT. >> STAY ON MESSAGE. 206 00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,572 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BRINGING THAT UP 207 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,206 IN FRONT OF A REPORTER. 208 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,510 >> LESLIE, IT'S NOT THAT BAD, RIGHT? 209 00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:58,078 I MEAN, WHY DON'T WE JUST GO BACK IN THERE 210 00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,079 AND TALK ABOUT THE PARK? 211 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,914 >> OH, ANN. 212 00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,116 YOU'RE SO SWEET AND INNOCENT AND PRETTY. 213 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,985 THE PRESS ARE LIKE SHARKS, 214 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,821 AND YOU GUYS JUST DUMPED A BUCKET OF CHUM IN THE WATER. 215 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,256 [door opens] 216 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,992 >> HEY, I JUST GOT YOUR 15 TEXTS. 217 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,795 >> LISTEN. 218 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,964 THANK YOU FOR COMING. 219 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,265 I...I TRIED TO STAY ON MESSAGE. 220 00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,166 >> MM-HMM. 221 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,134 >> BUT THEN, ANN AND ANDY SANDBAGGED ME. 222 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,671 ANDY WAS DRUNK WHEN HE FELL IN THE PIT. 223 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,073 AND IT TURNS OUT THAT ANN IS ON BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. 224 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,008 >> OKAY. 225 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,743 >> SHAUNA IS IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM, 226 00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:31,144 AND SHE'S WRITING A REALLY BAD ARTICLE 227 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,546 AND IT'S GONNA DESTROY US ALL. 228 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,148 PLEASE FIX IT. 229 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,250 >> APRIL. 230 00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:38,886 LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 231 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:41,254 DO YOU THINK I'M IN THE TOP FIVE 232 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,322 BEST-LOOKING INDIAN GUYS IN PAWNEE? 233 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,824 >> NO. 234 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,058 >> WHO DO YOU THINK'S GOT ME BEAT? 235 00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:46,126 THAT GUY THAT TEACHES CITY PLANNING? 236 00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:46,860 >> TOMMY BOY. 237 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:47,961 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, TOM. 238 00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,697 YOU SUCK AT SCRABBLE. 239 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,632 >> I KNOW. YOU'RE DESTROYING ME. 240 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:52,833 >> YOU'RE WORSE THAN MY EX-WIFE, 241 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,835 AND SHE'S TERRIBLE AT SCRABBLE. 242 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,937 AND SHE'S A BITCH. 243 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,038 >> LOOK OUT, MAN. I'M GONNA GET ONE OF THESE DAYS. 244 00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,640 I'M PRACTICING. >> YEAH, I DOUBT THAT. 245 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:03,076 HER NAME IS TAMMY SWANSON AND SHE'S A SERIOUS BITCH. 246 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,277 [knocks] 247 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:07,347 >> HEY, LESLIE. UM, I HAVE TO GO. 248 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,149 LET'S DO THE INTERVIEW 249 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,217 TOMORROW MORNING AT THE PIT. 250 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:13,286 >> YEAH. PERFECT. 251 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,588 >> GREAT. 252 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:15,355 I'LL HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHER MEET US THERE. 253 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,024 >> OKAY. GREAT. 254 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,091 >> SEE YOU THEN. 255 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:21,161 >> DISASTER AVERTED. 256 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,163 >> THAT WAS EASY. >> OKAY. 257 00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:24,264 >> CAN WE GO IN YOUR CAR? 258 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:25,365 >> ABSOLUTELY. >> ALL RIGHT. 259 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,167 'CAUSE I HATE DRIVING. 260 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,070 >> THERE'S A BEAUTIFUL VIEW FROM OVER THERE. 261 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,039 THIS IS A GREAT PLACE TO TAKE A SHOT. 262 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,340 OVER THERE AS WELL, SO. 263 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,076 [horn honks] >> I THINK YOU'RE FINE. 264 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,950 >> HI! 265 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:45,953 HI. SORRY I'M LATE. 266 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,187 >> OH, NO PROBLEM. 267 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:50,924 DO YOU LIVE NEAR MARK? 268 00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,192 >> NO, NOT AT ALL. 269 00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:55,629 >> SO HE GAVE YOU A RIDE SOMEHOW? 270 00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,765 >> YEAH. 271 00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:58,932 YOU KNOW, DO YOU HAVE A PEN? 272 00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:01,334 'CAUSE I DON'T-- >> NO, SORRY. 273 00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,103 >> MICHAEL, DO YOU HAVE ANY PAPER I COULD BORROW? 274 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,137 >> I MIGHT, YEAH. 275 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,238 >> I DON'T MEAN TO COMPLAIN, 276 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,875 BUT I THINK SHAUNA IS BEING A LITTLE UNPROFESSIONAL. 277 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,143 SHE GOT HERE 15 MINUTES LATE. 278 00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:13,146 SHE'S WEARING THE SAME DRESS SHE WORE YESTERDAY. 279 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,148 AND SHE HAD TO GET A RIDE FROM... 280 00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:28,962 >> SO HOW BIG IS THIS LOT? 281 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:29,930 LESLIE, HOW BIG-- >> WHAT? 282 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,665 >> HOW BIG IS THE LOT? >> HOW BIG IS WHAT? 283 00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:32,700 >> THE LOT. >> I DON'T KNOW. 284 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:33,734 YOU TELL ME. HOW BIG IS THE LOT? 285 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,035 [camera shutter clicks] 286 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,337 100 OR SOMETHING. 287 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,772 GIVE OR TAKE 100. I DON'T KNOW. 288 00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:40,107 >> 100 WHAT? >> I DON'T KNOW, SHAUNA. 289 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,975 MALWAE-TWEEP. I DON'T KNOW. 290 00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,376 I DON'T-- [laughs] 291 00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:44,878 I GUESS I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. >> ARE YOU OKAY? 292 00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:49,149 >> I HAVE TO GET SOMETHING FROM MY CAR. 293 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,265 >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 294 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,067 >> KICKING RON'S BUTT AT SCRABBLE. 295 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,368 JUST PLAYED "LEXICONS" FOR A BILLION POINTS. 296 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,238 >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. >> WHAT? 297 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,073 >> I WAS LETTING HIM WIN, DUMBASS. 298 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,474 >> WHATEVER. 299 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,476 >> OH, COME ON. "LATERAL?" 300 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,945 "COMMUNAL?" 301 00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,046 "ZONAL?" 302 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:22,149 YOU DROPPED A Z IN THERE? 303 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,416 APRIL. 304 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:26,920 >> SO WHEN DID YOU START AT THE PARKS DEPARTMENT? 305 00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:29,256 >> WELL, UH, IT WAS A FEW YEARS AGO. 306 00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:32,259 MY MOTHER GOT ME THE JOB. 307 00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:33,894 I WAS QUALIFIED. 308 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,262 IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS NEPOTISM. 309 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,030 CRAP ON A STICK. 310 00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:39,800 OKAY, TECHNICALLY, YES, IT WAS NEPOTISM. 311 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:42,402 BUT--OH, MY GOD. 312 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:43,904 >> SORRY. IT'S NOT YOU. 313 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,405 I JUST--I'M EXHAUSTED. 314 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:46,406 I GOT, LIKE, ZERO SLEEP LAST NIGHT. 315 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,142 SO-- >> [sighs] 316 00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:55,148 [doorbell ringing] 317 00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:59,052 >> OH. >> HEY, LESLIE. 318 00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:00,087 >> YOU'RE HOME. 319 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,021 >> YEAH, I'M HOME. 320 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,289 >> I WAS DOING AN INTERVIEW AT THE PIT, 321 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,523 AND IT WAS GOING REALLY WELL. 322 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,125 IN FACT, IT WAS GOING PERFECT. 323 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,027 BUT I DECIDED TO LEAVE IN THE MIDDLE OF IT 324 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:10,030 'CAUSE I FIGURED I NAILED IT SO WHY PUSH IT, RIGHT? 325 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,464 >> YEAH. >> CAN I COME IN? 326 00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,100 >> UH, SURE. >> GREAT. 327 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:16,036 >> COME ON IN. 328 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:16,904 SO HOW'D IT GO? 329 00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,205 SHE DIDN'T ASK ABOUT ANDY BEING DRUNK, 330 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,373 DID SHE? >> UH, NO. 331 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,175 NO, JUST YOUR KIND OF STANDARD QUESTIONS. 332 00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:25,045 THERE WAS ONE ANNOYING THING. 333 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,214 SHE AND MARK HAD SEX WITH EACH OTHER. 334 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,482 >> YOU'RE KIDDING. 335 00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:31,084 >> I WISH I WAS, BUT I'M NOT. 336 00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:32,052 THEY DID IT. 337 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:35,155 SHAUNA MALWAE-TWEEP AND MARK BRENDANAWICZ 338 00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,156 HAD SEX WITH EACH OTHER LAST NIGHT. 339 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:36,957 >> WHO HAD SEX? 340 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,927 >> THAT GUY MARK AND THE REPORTER. 341 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,261 >> CALLED IT. 342 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,163 I CALLED THAT. 343 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,097 REMEMBER THAT? >> YEAH. 344 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:45,999 HE DID, ACTUALLY. HE TOTALLY CALLED THAT. 345 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:48,235 >> WHY DO MEN HAVE TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS? 346 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,569 WHY CAN'T THEY BE PROFESSIONALS? 347 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,071 >> MEN ARE DOGS. 348 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,239 >> YOU KNOW, MAYBE-- 349 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,240 MAYBE THEY REALLY LIKE EACH OTHER. 350 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,942 >> UH... 351 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,010 HE DOESN'T LIKE HER. 352 00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:58,478 >> HE WAS PROBABLY THINKING WITH THE HEAD OF HIS WEINER 353 00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,147 INSTEAD OF THE HEAD OF HIS BRAIN. 354 00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:01,148 >> OH, GOD. ANDY, COME ON. 355 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:05,118 >> MEN DO THAT. IT'S DISGUSTING. 356 00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:07,087 >> WELL, I SHOULD GO TALK TO HIM. 357 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,122 MAKE SURE THAT HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO HURT THE PROJECT. 358 00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:09,957 >> YEAH. 359 00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,591 DEFINITELY YOU SHOULD TALK TO HIM. 360 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,227 >> YEAH. GOOD IDEA, ANN. 361 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:17,030 >> I BET HE DIDN'T USE A CONDOM. >> ANDY, GOD! 362 00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:20,067 >> HELLO, MARK. MAY I COME INTO YOUR OFFICE? 363 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,469 I NEED TO SPEAK WITH YOU ABOUT SOMETHING VERY SENSITIVE. 364 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:23,837 SOMETHING'S COME TO MY ATTENTION 365 00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:25,072 THAT REQUIRES YOUR ATTENTION. 366 00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,573 IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION 367 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,109 THAT YOU HAD SEX WITH MS. MALWAE-TWEEP. 368 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,277 >> UH, THAT'S PERSONAL. 369 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,312 >> IT'S UNETHICAL AND IT'S IRRESPONSIBLE 370 00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:34,181 FOR A PUBLIC SERVANT TO HAVE SEX 371 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,949 WITH A MEMBER OF THE PRESS CORPS. 372 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,217 ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE 373 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,886 WHO IS SO SKANKY. 374 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,221 I MEAN, HAVE SEX WITH HER? I DI-- 375 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,323 >> I'M GONNA SAY SOMETHING. 376 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,425 I DON'T WANT YOU TO TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY. 377 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,560 BUT YOU'RE BEING A HUGE DORK. 378 00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,434 >> WELL, I CAN'T ALLOW THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR 379 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,303 FROM SOMEONE SERVING ON MY SUBCOMMITTEE. 380 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,171 >> WELL THEN I RESIGN FROM YOUR SUBCOMMITTEE. 381 00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:00,373 >> [stammers] 382 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,347 [phone rings] 383 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,016 >> SHAUNA MALWAE-TWEEP. 384 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,517 >> HI, THIS IS DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF PARKS AND RECREATION-- 385 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:11,551 >> LESLIE? >> YES, HI. 386 00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:12,953 >> HI. 387 00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:16,389 >> I ACCIDENTALLY ATE AN OLD BURRITO. 388 00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,325 >> WHAT? 389 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:21,228 >> I WAS ACTING STRANGE AT THE PIT 390 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:25,065 AND THE REASON IS BECAUSE I HAD FOOD POISONING... 391 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:28,001 FROM AN OLD BURRITO. 392 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:31,171 SO...I WAS HOPING 393 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,040 WE COULD HAVE A DO-OVER INTERVIEW. 394 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,507 MAYBE OVER LUNCH. 395 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,143 I'M BUYING. 396 00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:37,644 >> YEAH, I GUESS I'M FREE. 397 00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:40,347 I'M ASSUMING NOT MEXICAN. 398 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,215 >> WHY? 399 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,650 >> BECAUSE OF THE BURRITO? 400 00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,986 >> OH. [laughs] 401 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:49,656 >> YEAH, WELL IT WASN'T A MEXICAN BURRITO. 402 00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:52,059 >> ARE YOU SURE THAT'S THE BEST THING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW? 403 00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,928 >> OH, IT'S THE BEST THING ON THE MENU. 404 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,163 SO LOOK, 405 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:59,466 I FEEL LIKE I MAY HAVE GONE A LITTLE OFF MESSAGE AT THE PIT. 406 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,034 >> YEAH, YOU SEEMED A LITTLE WEIRD. 407 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,235 >> WELL, I WOULDN'T SAY WEIRD. 408 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:03,336 IT'S JUST, WE'RE TRYING TO TURN 409 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:07,640 A DANGEROUS EYESORE INTO A BEAUTIFUL COMMUNITY PARK 410 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:10,310 AND A POSITIVE ARTICLE COULD GO A LONG WAY 411 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:11,311 TOWARDS MAKING THAT HAPPEN. 412 00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:12,980 >> GREAT. 413 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,215 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK THE ODDS ARE THAT THIS PARK 414 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,649 IS ACTUALLY GONNA GET MADE? 415 00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,686 >> CAN I SAY OVER 100%? 416 00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:22,089 BECAUSE I WOULD BE LYING IF I SAID LESS. 417 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:22,789 >> WOW. 418 00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,457 YOU SEEM A LOT MORE CONFIDENT 419 00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,493 THAN SOME OF THE OTHER PEOPLE I'VE SPOKEN TO. 420 00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:28,028 CAN I READ YOU SOME OF THESE QUOTES? 421 00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,262 >> BE MY GUEST. 422 00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:32,632 >> "THE SULLIVAN STREET PIT IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE A PIT." 423 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:37,037 >> WELL, UNTIL IT TURNS INTO A PARK. 424 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:41,374 YES, I AGREE. 425 00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:43,143 >> "HEY, YOU SHOULD WRITE AN ARTICLE ON UNICORNS, 426 00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:45,512 BECAUSE THEY'RE MORE LIKELY TO EXIST THAN THIS PARK." 427 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,680 >> OH, REALLY? TELL THAT TO A 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL. 428 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:48,881 >> HMM. 429 00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:50,683 "YOU SHOULD WRITE AN ARTICLE ON THE POPE GETTING MARRIED, 430 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:53,253 BECAUSE THAT'S MORE LIKELY TO HAPPEN THAN THIS PARK." 431 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,622 >> THERE ARE SOME COUNTRIES WHERE THE POPE CAN BE MARRIED. 432 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:57,557 >> "YOU SHOULD WRITE AN ARTICLE ON TALKING MONKEYS." 433 00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,126 >> REALLY? HAVE YOU SEEN THE WIZARD OF OZ? 434 00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,627 >> "YOU SHOULD WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT LEPRECHAUNS. 435 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,062 >> LEPRECHAUNS EXIST. 436 00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,363 >> "YOU SHOULD WRITE AN ARTICLE 437 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:04,597 ABOUT THE SUN FALLING OUT OF THE SKY." 438 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:05,698 >> WHY WOULD YOU WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT THAT? 439 00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:06,699 THAT'S-- 440 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,435 >> THIS ONE IS JUST "NO." 441 00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:18,078 UM, "THIS PARK IS NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER GOING TO HAPPEN." 442 00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:20,047 >> MIGHT I ASK WHO SAID THAT? 443 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,749 >> UH, MARK BRENDANAWICZ. 444 00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:26,786 [knocking] 445 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,156 >> YEAH. >> HEY. 446 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:29,989 >> HI. 447 00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:31,591 >> CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? 448 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:32,792 >> YEAH, WHAT'S UP? 449 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:33,593 >> UH, YOU AND I NEED TO FIND 450 00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:37,030 A WAY TO FIX THIS REPORTER THING. 451 00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:40,067 >> WHY IS THIS A BIG DEAL TO ANYBODY? 452 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:43,036 >> WELL APPARENTLY, THE REPORTER IS GONNA PRINT 453 00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:43,870 EVERYTHING YOU SAID TO HER. 454 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,572 >> BUT I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO HER. 455 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:49,776 >> "THE PARK IS NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER GETTING BUILT?" 456 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:53,680 >> BUT THAT STUFF WAS OFF THE RECORD. 457 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,515 >> DID YOU SAY IT WAS OFF THE RECORD? 458 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:56,683 >> DO YOU HAVE TO SAY IT'S OFF THE RECORD? 459 00:16:56,716 --> 00:17:00,320 >> OH, MY GOD. 460 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,488 [door opens] 461 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,790 >> HEY. 462 00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,225 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MEETING US. 463 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,259 >> SURE. 464 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,828 HEY, MARK. 465 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,029 >> HEY. 466 00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:13,100 UH...I HEARD THAT YOU WERE GONNA PRINT SOME OF THAT STUFF 467 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,502 THAT I SAID IN PRIVATE ABOUT THE PARK. 468 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,571 >> OH, YEAH. MY EDITOR LOVES IT. 469 00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:19,672 >> YOU KNOW WE'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT 470 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,074 IF YOU DIDN'T PRINT THAT STUFF 471 00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:22,409 'CAUSE WE'RE TRYING TO BUILD THIS PARK-- 472 00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,744 >> I DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU DID SAY IT, RIGHT? 473 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,346 >> TECHNICALLY. 474 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,115 >> TECHNICALLY? 475 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,817 >> WELL, YOU KNOW, 476 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,652 YOU GOT UP BECAUSE YOU HAD TO WRITE THE ARTICLE 477 00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:34,687 AND I SAID, "COME ON, STAY IN BED. 478 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,457 THAT PARK IS NEVER, EVER, EVER GONNA GET MADE." 479 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:38,558 >> RIGHT. 480 00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,493 AND THEN I CAME BACK TO BED. 481 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:42,195 >> YEAH, BUT THE IMPORTANT PART OF WHAT I SAID 482 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:43,696 WAS "STAY IN BED." 483 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:47,100 YOU KNOW, I WOULD'VE SAID ANYTHING AT THAT POINT 484 00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:49,402 IF I THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE YOU STAY IN BED. 485 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:52,472 >> OKAY, WELL SINCE WE'RE, YOU KNOW, 486 00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,807 ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED, I WON'T PRINT ANY OF IT. 487 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,443 >> OH, THAT'S GREAT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 488 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,311 >> YOU'RE WELCOME. >> YOU KNOW... 489 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,680 I WOULDN'T SAY ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED. 490 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:04,351 YOU KNOW, GOING FORWARD. 491 00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:05,418 >> OH, MY GOD. 492 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:09,156 >> WHAT? 493 00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:15,728 >> * RON SWANSON 494 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,565 >> TOM. 495 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,668 >> RON, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU, MAN. 496 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,136 APRIL GOT ON MY COMPUTER. 497 00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:24,404 PASSWORD WAS SAVED. 498 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,173 SHE PLAYED A COUPLE OF SCRABBLE WORDS. 499 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,774 IT WASN'T ME. 500 00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:28,908 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT LEXICONS ARE. 501 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,843 I THOUGHT THAT WAS A LUXURY AUTOMOBILE. 502 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,579 >> HMM. >> YOU'RE THE WORD KING. 503 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:33,846 SHE WAS PROBABLY CHEATING. 504 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,648 >> I KNEW THAT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN YOU. 505 00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:37,250 YOU DON'T HAVE THE VOCABULARY. 506 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,685 >> I KNOW. 507 00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:40,387 >> YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL VOCABULARY. 508 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:44,591 >> UH, YEAH. V-O-G-X--UGH! 509 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,526 WAS THAT RIGHT? NO. 510 00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:51,864 >> WE'RE COOL. 511 00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:52,865 I'M NOT AN IDIOT. 512 00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:55,635 I KNOW TOM HAS BEEN LOSING TO ME ON PURPOSE. 513 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:56,936 BUT I LIKE TOM. 514 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,406 HE DOESN'T DO A LOT OF WORK AROUND HERE. 515 00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,674 HE SHOWS ZERO INITIATIVE. 516 00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:02,842 HE'S NOT A TEAM PLAYER. 517 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:05,478 HE'S NEVER ONE TO GO THAT EXTRA MILE. 518 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:09,216 TOM IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR IN A GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE. 519 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,953 [knocks] 520 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,223 >> HEY, YOU BUSY? 521 00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,325 >> WELL I'M WRITING AN OP-ED PIECE ABOUT MEDIA ETHICS 522 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:22,295 FOR THE PAWNEE JOURNAL, SO YEAH, I'M A LITTLE BUSY. 523 00:19:22,329 --> 00:19:25,898 >> I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU. 524 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,900 >> REALLY? 525 00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:29,236 >> YEAH. 526 00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:36,643 I NEVER SHOULD'VE DONE ANYTHING WITH THAT REPORTER. 527 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,645 >> WHOA! YOU NAILED MALWAE-TWEEP? 528 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,880 NICE. 529 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:43,583 >> YES, BUT...I'M NOT GONNA DO IT AGAIN. 530 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,319 >> IT'S OVER. >> SO SHE'S AVAILABLE. 531 00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:47,654 >> I REALLY DID THINK THAT THAT STUFF THAT I SAID 532 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,722 WAS OFF THE RECORD. 533 00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,691 BUT YOU WERE RIGHT, AND I SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO YOU. 534 00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:54,294 I TRIED TO GET HER TO PULL SOME OF THOSE QUOTES 535 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,995 AND THINGS GOT A LITTLE DICEY. 536 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,797 >> WELL, I APPRECIATE YOU TRYING. 537 00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:03,002 WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE REINSTATED ONTO OUR SUBCOMMITTEE? 538 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,872 >> ABSOLUTELY. 539 00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,974 >> YOU'LL HAVE MY ANSWER WITHIN THE MONTH. 540 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:11,010 MARK, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? 541 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,779 YOU DIDN'T REALLY BELIEVE IT WHEN YOU SAID 542 00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,647 THAT THE PARK WAS NEVER GONNA GET MADE, RIGHT? 543 00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:16,983 >> PARK'S GONNA GET DONE. 544 00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:21,588 >> WELCOME BACK, SUBCOMMITTEE MEMBER MARK BRENDANAWICZ. 545 00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:26,959 >> THANK. >> THANK YOU. 546 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:27,860 >> THANK YOU. >> THANK YOU. 547 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,529 >> THANKS, A LOT. >> THANK YOU A LOT. 548 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,830 >> [laughs] 549 00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:31,931 >> OH, MAN, THAT DUDE HAS STUCK IT 550 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,900 IN SOME CRAZY CHICKS. 551 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:40,873 >> WELL, THE ARTICLE CAME OUT, AND IT WAS A MIXED BAG. 552 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:43,610 "AN ABANDONED LOT ON SULLIVAN STREET 553 00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,812 HAS BEEN PROPOSED AS THE SITE OF A NEW PARK." 554 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:46,779 THAT PART'S GOOD. 555 00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,281 I THINK WE STAYED ON MESSAGE FOR THAT PART. 556 00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:49,916 AND THEN IT GETS A LITTLE UNPLEASANT, 557 00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,819 DA-DA-DA, PRETTY DRUNK. ANN'S ON THE PILL. 558 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,821 I DIDN'T THROW UP, I SPIT UP. 559 00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:56,589 JJ'S DINER GETS A NICE MENTION. 560 00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,791 OH, AND RIGHT HERE. AT THE END. 561 00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:04,731 SHE WRITES, AND I QUOTE, "WE'LL SEE." 562 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,633 ENDS ON A HOPEFUL NOTE.