I'm doing well online, but I'm not making money.
That's the problem.
Are you looking at your own books, Sonja?
I got the tax funds, but I didn't get the books.
You need the books.
So, I saw that little article about you and Garth.
Garth is--he was not happy.
We're just kinda taking a little break.
There is a young woman, her name is Ashley,
she proclaims to be my father's daughter.
Your father you don't know, though.
My father that I don't know.
I just want to saw, I appreciate you, Ashley,
for being willing to go through this journey with me.
This is a long time coming, this DNA test with Ashley.
Well, thank you sis-- uh, I was about to say
thank you sis, but that takes on a new meaning now.
You just have a line in the song. Everything I'm making
-is going to Fortune. -Forever?
Believe me, there is not a lot of money in this business.
Well, you're donating it to Fortune Society,
so I would imagine that there is some money in it.
If you don't feel comfortable, I can't have you record.
I really don't want you to think I don't trust you.
It's not about that.
It's about actually protecting our friendship.
Honestly. Let's protect each other. That's it.
So, who's that gorgeous man? He here for Ramona?
He's a model.
-Wanna go for a drink? -Yeah, let's go.
Okay. I can't help myself.
[escalating chimes]
Of all my vices, being glamorous is one I'll never give up.
I'm sex positive, and BS negative.
I may say the wrong thing,
but my intentions are always right.
I've had to work twice as hard for half as much,
but now I'm coming for everything.
Just like New York City, Sonja Morgan never goes out of style.
♪
[cheeky upbeat music]
Kiki, please bring me the nail file.
-Okay, little girl. -Just do it.
Okay.
-This is-- -Oh my god.
She doesn't want you to do it.
Oh my god, there's so much.
No, Kiki, they're so long.
What if we paint them?
Do you want pink nails,
or do you want a French manicure?
Are we ready?
Oh, sh--. Okay. Sorry. I'm getting nervous.
It's okay. It's just a swab in the mouth.
So nervous.
Maybe I have white coat syndrome.
Like this is very scary to me.
♪
That side of my mouth was definitely juicier.
♪
So cool! Oh my god, I love this!
It's so you.
Isn't this great? I feel like I'm in a Swiss chalet right now.
It's like we're at your place in Schtav, right?
I know, you should see the owner. He's very cute.
What, are you a meat purveyor now?
The meat purveyor!
The matchmaker's setting me up with a serious guy.
Not just a fun guy.
Did you have fun last night?
-I'm a meat magnet. -You were very happy last night.
You had a good time.
I'm so tired of being so hot.
I know I'm looking for Mr. Right.
And I'm about to take that plunge.
But if you wave Mr. Right Now in front of me,
I can't refrain.
Like, any guy will do!
That's terrible.
Did you hook up, or?
There was just no way I could leave that to waste.
I mean!
So, how was it?
Did you even have sex with him?
Did I? I could barely walk today. What the [bleep].
Am I Sonja Morgan?
-Hello ladies! -[both greeting]
There you are. How you doing?
How you doing with my roses?
My pink roses that Dylan bought for me?
She took home the roses and Dylan.
You're kidding.
Not kidding!
Somebody has to do it.
Well, no wonder you look so fresh today, girl!
I think I lost a pound even.
-You're glowing. -Wow, wow, wow!
I'm a little shocked she went home with him.
And I'm more shocked he took her home.
Here I have the pork chop for you, Madam,
-with the creamed spinach. -Pork chop?
Oh my god. I didn't see the pork chop.
You can have some, I'll give you some.
Oh wow!
When are we going to a black seder ?
-A black Jewish shabbat dinner. -Is her boyfriend coming?
So, you got a new boyfriend, Leah was telling me?
Oh yeah, honey.
Boy do you rebound fast.
Well, he's so adoring.
-How many months? -Two months. Two months in.
They broke up!
What?
Wait a second.
-No, you're kidding, right? -Come on.
When did she tell you that?
-Are you sure? -He doesn't want to see her.
-Tell us more. -He wants her to be Jewish.
But he doesn't want her to convert.
Oh, so therefore, he can only marry a girl
-who's truly, truly Jewish. -There you go!
I care about Eboni. To find out that this guy's
not staying with her because of his religion, I'm like,
"Well, why do you guys always
"have to think with your dick first?"
Think about the woman and her feelings!
She was so excited.
I just, I can't with these men, sometimes.
You know what? I gotta call her.
So, why are we doing a Jewish seder dinner when this guy
-just broke up with her. -Should we know?
-I feel like a jerk. -Maybe you want her to tell us.
-I'm a jerk. -Why?
Eboni, I'm calling, 'cause you know why?
I just feel like a jerk.
Because you told me in confidence about you
broke up with your boyfriend, and I just told the girls,
and I'm so sorry.
Everybody's upset.
Put her on speaker.
I'm so sorry to hear that, I had no idea.
Exactly!
Oh, things come in threes. What else is gonna happen?
Yeah, but why did he wait so long to tell
you this? Why'd he get involved with you.
Okay, this is upsetting me. It's a trust issue.
How can we as women trust men
when they can do something like this? Or trust people?
Right.
Because you were friends with him first,
that's what made it so special.
Oh my gosh.
Alright.
Alright, well we'll see you at the video shoot.
Bye.
Break ups are never easy. But let me tell you,
doing a Christmas song, and a music video,
makes it a lot easier.
Eat some caviar, little rooftop in New York City
hair done, jewelry on.
Oh, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest in the land,
I guess it's not his call.
God, I was having so fun being catty, bitchy,
now we have to be real feeling friends again.
Jeez, I feel so bad for Eboni.
No that, that's a betrayal.
Men don't think! They think with their what?
[Luann laughing]
[upbeat music]
♪
Falafels! Do you want to try a little falafel?
♪
Coming!
Hold on.
Howdy! Don't choke!
Almost choked on the falafel.
-Hi. -Thank god, hi.
It got caught in my throat!
Let me take this muzzle off. Hey baby.
-She's so cute, right? -You have no idea.
Danny is the youngest.
He's nine years younger than me.
I'm not sure if he was planned.
He's definitely my mother's favourite.
What's in there?
Oh, you know what I have is from Grandma.
It's for Kier.
It was the...
the rosary that was wrapped around her arm.
Oh my god.
I know, it smells like her. So, don't smell it, 'cause...
Yeah. It's ----ed up.
There's one part that really smells, you know?
Yeah, it smells. I think they sprayed her perfume on it.
I didn't know you were gonna bring these.
Me and my brother and sister, we are leaning
on each other right now.
We're all going through the same thing.
I'm just gonna leave it here for now.
Yeah.
I want this to be a happy night.
Yeah, it will be.
So, naturally it is bringing us closer together.
[dog barking]
Can you get that, while I do--hi!
Hi!
Oh my god! I love your mustache.
-Do you like it? -Yeah, it looks so good.
I was almost gonna shave it. So I won't.
-It's so cute. -I cleaned it up.
-Hi! -Hi!
Your face looks beautiful, did you do something to it?
-It does? -Yeah, you look good.
-I don't know, I threw up today. -I hope you're not pregnant.
I honestly thought that.
I've also been kind of sick the past couple days.
I hope you're not pregnant.
[all laughing]
Alright, Sarah, can you help me?
-Yeah, what do you need? -Can you help me get some stuff?
What do you need me to do?
I am sorry, you don't feel well. Let me bosh you around.
-I'm like nauseous. -Okay, here.
I'm possibly pregnant. Just kidding.
But this doesn't match!
Well, I'm not the best at entertaining.
I mean, why do you have no matching silverware, though?
I don't know. I don't know, it's insane!
It's crazy.
I like character.
Well this is like not really character.
I mean, no judgment.
I'm like the most non-adult adult there is.
I'm basically a teenager trying to be an adult.
Wait, Mom doesn't like your jumpsuit?
No.
She thinks it's a little Fidel Castro?
Yeah.
[Leah laughing]
She hates when I dress like a dude or something.
Would she like that better? I don't think so.
Honestly I--
She wants somewhere in between.
We've got a spectrum going on here, right?
You don't understand, Danny.
Mom's just like, way more hard on us
than she is on you.
-It's true. -She really is.
A few days ago, it was like 10:30 at night. Mom calls.
I pick up, and she starts being like,
"Are you really converting?"
And I'm like, "Well, I'm taking the steps
"and I'm learning with someone,
"and I talked to the rabbi, etc., etc. So, I mean I am."
What's your rabbi like?
Oh, he's awesome. He's this like New Yorker,
he curses sometimes, he's ----ing funny as hell.
-How old? -Orthodox?
He's about probably my age.
Or like a few years older. He's a few years older.
-Oh boy. I smell a scandal! -Yeah.
That's so wrong, Sarah.
-Yeah? -I'm not having sex with him.
You're gonna be like Omella and the priest
in the Sopranos.
[Leah laughing] I can't.
Coming up.
Hey, Ashley.
What's up?
I do have the test results.
So.
[dramatic music]
There's no way no mofos getting in here.
I have an alarm system, I have monoxide detectors,
I have fire alarms. I have cameras.
And we got the poodle on high alert.
Dogs are a number one deterrent, man.
People don't want to be around dogs.
Yeah, his bark's loud.
Emma, what are you doing just hanging around?
I hear the door.
[dog barking]
No, you can't eat this. This is probably poisonous.
-Hi! -Hey.
Welcome. I will let Ms. Morgan know that you're here.
After the seance in Salem.
The message from your father
is that he is mortified by what he did.
Thank you!
Okay, good.
Did he leave when you were young?
-Yes. -Just like this whole break up.
-I was two years old. -And you had abandonment issues.
Yes!
And it's affected your relationships with men.
Yes!
I've never done the work regarding my dad.
Oh my god!
Hi! How are you?
-Good. -Wow, you look stunning.
I always felt I might have a daddy complex.
I just didn't realize it went back to my dad.
Oh, sorry.
Oh my god. There you go, girl!
-I burped him! -[laughing]
So, listen. We were talking about what happened
at that seance, and I want to kind of get
into the piece where your father showed up.
Well, he came into the room, and he said
he felt really bad about you know,
how it was for me growing up with him.
That he was absent, and he could've been a better dad.
And, you know, I've seen this routine with other men
because my mom's second husband
didn't really wanna see me. He didn't look at me
as one of his children. I was just a kid.
-Right, so it makes me feel-- -I don't want to feel excluded.
-Right, it makes me feel, what-- -I want to fit in.
I think when it became most evident to me
that my step dad didn't love me
as much as his own children
was when he came with his big convertible
looking very handsome and dashing,
and all the kids clamored in
and I was asked to get out of the car.
How can you not take one of four siblings?
Yeah.
You should know better. What would he not take me?
I'm a great kid, I'm taking care of your children
while my mom's working.
I'll never forget it. It was kind of shocking.
Because I think of my siblings as my closest family.
Alright, so close your eyes.
So, let's just say, just from that behavior,
it's making you feel not special, not good enough.
So, then you had two things going on.
You had your father who was there and then not there.
And then the second father who just kind of
abandoned you and just dealt with his children.
So, you lock in all those feelings of being abandoned.
Men abandoned me.
Of course they do.
Okay, we don't wanna do that
because we don't wanna create a pattern
from your subconscience
that makes it happen all the time.
So, it's important that we go back and take away
the trauma of your father not taking care of you,
and not cherishing you.
So, let's manifest in the right way,
and not in the wrong way.
[drumming]
In essence, what Aleta is saying,
is the same that Eboni's saying.
Well, I'm channeling heavy.
I know, I can feel it.
I just had a release on my left ankle. Did you hear it?
Recognize your own worth
and don't let people step all over you
because you want to be a pleaser.
[dinging]
Ah Jesus, you're killing me.
Oh, god!
Okay, so those are your seven chakras.
Your seven energy centers.
It's like an electric current, man, Jesus.
It's like you're zapping me.
Oh jeez, these things are powerful!
[upbeat music]
[knocking]
Hey, baby. Did you hear a knock on the door?
I think I did.
Hi. Thank you, appreciate it, thank you.
Oh yes, honey. Let's see some DNA.
Oh jeesh. Oh.
Hey, baby. Come give Mommy a hug.
She's a little scared.
[smooching]
In this envelope, my whole life changes.
And that is scary as hell.
You know? I open this and Ashley's my sister,
and I have a new family,
and the man I thought was my dad
for my whole life is my dad.
And it all makes sense.
Or I open this package,
and I'll just go back to being a fatherless child.
[exhaling]
[dramatic music]
♪
[phone ringing]
Hey!
Hey, Ashley!
What's up?
You look pretty again. Um...
So, I do have the test results.
They just came. I know. So... blood-wise...
It doesn't support that we are sisters.
Okay.
♪
I'm just not happy with the results of that.
That makes me very sad to see you upset.
I wanted that so badly and it's...
I know.
I just was like, "There's my family."
I felt like I had my family.
You know? And it made sense.
And now it just feels like I'll start over.
Yeah.
And I'm here for you too, Ashley.
I don't want you to feel like,
"Okay, she got her answer, and so bye!"
No, like I don't move like that.
So, if you need anything.
Is that cabernet?
Yes.
See, we have such similar tastes!
Yes! See?
But anyway, whatever the case, sis.
Sis.
I wish you the best on your journey.
Thank you. You are very special to me now.
And this is not the end of our relationship
as far as I'm concerned.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
You be good, okay love? Bye bye.
♪
[exhaling]
Coming up.
♪ What do I want for Christmas? ♪
One more time.
Yeah, we're just gonna do this over and over.
Yeah, I know but it's cold and it's raining.
Okay.
Take 50!
So, I need to change over.
I have to look good for Gaurav because I represent the brand.
Let's make sure your blouse is uh--
Oh, I don't usually wear a bra with this,
but since Gaurav and Laura are coming,
I thought I'm gonna wear a bra.
This is Armani, you don't wear a bra with it.
What does that mean, Armani, you don't wear a bra?
But you know what I mean, it's like, it's a design.
It's a design. But you can see your bra.
-Oh, that looks terrible. -Yeah.
You're right. I can't wear a bra with this.
Unfortunately, Century 21 went bankrupt.
Meanwhile, they said I was their number one sellout.
Number one online item.
Which brings me back to Gaurav, my partner.
Why are you not telling me I'm the best sellout?
Something doesn't add up here!
And I want to see the books.
Oh, I forgot to tell you. Ramona's coming by.
Ugh. Singer stinger.
So, we need one more set up for her.
One more.
I invited Ramona here today
because I thought maybe she could get through
to Gaurav in the way I haven't,
and now I'm having second thoughts
because Ramona's unfiltered.
You know, she may just make things worse!
[doorbell ringing]
Hello?
Okay, that's Gaurav and Laura.
Anything else you need?
I'm good. I just... you know.
Sonja! So long.
-Hi! -How are you?
-You look so good. -Good to see you.
-I love this on you. -Hi, Laura. How are you?
Your house looks amazing.
So do you.
Your apartment looks gorg.
Last time you were here, I was talking about,
I had to do these different
renovations so I can rent it, or sell it.
'Cause it's not a great time to sell.
But I don't really have a choice,
I can't afford it right now.
Soon, you will start affording it, Sonja. Soon.
Tell me, tell me.
We've been slightly progressing in the fashion business.
Mm-hm.
After Century 21, we lost some money.
Not some, huge.
So, we'll be structuring back to consumers
in a different manner.
And we will be going much, much, much more bigger.
We have a lot of things going on.
Every time I ask Gaurav about the financial aspects
of our business, he gives me so many vague answers.
I think we will be going on Martha Stewart level
faster than we thought.
Well, not faster than we thought.
I'm taking Aleta St. James advice. Stand up for myself.
I wanna see what's going on in my company.
I want facts.
Hey guys!
-Wow, you look good! -Hey, Gaurav, how are you?
I don't think I've met you, but I'm Ramona.
-Nice to meet you. -How are you?
-Fist bump. -You've never met Laura?
-No. -You two fashion magnets.
You thought I was pregnant. I know you look beautiful.
Thank you.
Um, Gaurav and I are passionate. We're very passionate.
So, basically, you know, Sonja's very proud of her brand,
Sonja Morgan. And I just have some input.
I'm coming to this discussion very educated in business.
I opened up my own company and I had success there
for many years where I bought close-outs.
My goal mainly is for Sonja to get the money.
Or as Eboni would say, "Show me the coin."
Yeah, like you can't be ----ing up my coins.
First month, we hardly sold $2000.
Okay.
From $2000 to today, we have averaged out $50,000.
Because, like Sonja knows, it's a million dollar--
-Per year. $50,000 a year. -Month.
So, $50,000 a month. That's $600,000 a year.
If you're doing $600,000,
you're easily making like $400,000 gross profit.
'Cause you're on the Internet, you're selling retail.
What do the average cost of a website maintenance
is in your opinion.
Everyone has different expenses, it all depends.
No, she doesn't.
-Come on! -I'll be an advisor.
-What about all those expenses? -I don't need to be paid.
All I know is, there's enough money for her
to be getting something every month.
-Yes. -Whether it's like $5000.
There's a lot of uncashed checks.
Do you want to talk about the uncashed checks?
Pardon?
No, I don't.
You're sitting with a $10,000 check?
No, he gave me 2,000, and I didn't cash it.
Then, he got another 2,000, I didn't cash it.
Listen to me!
You sent me 2,000, was an insult. I didn't--I lost that.
And another 2,000.
I need the books.
Where did you find 2,000 from?
Question.
Ugh!
I really don't understand why Sonja hasn't cashed checks.
So, it doesn't make sense.
Who leaves money sitting around?
I don't know if I'm getting the whole story from her now.
I'm a little confused
because she didn't tell me this beforehand.
This is Sonja's royalty calculations,
up to $82,000 'til this day.
So, who took all--then the money must still be there.
She hasn't used it.
How much did you take out to pay the lawyer fees
and the brand fees? So what'd you take out?
Only thing is paid-- only--only one thing is paid.
Only one thing.
How much? 80 grand, how much did you take out?
$60,000 is paid to the lawyer.
$80,000, you were supposed to give her.
You took $60,000.
Not me, don't take. I do not take anything.
After the fact.
Lawyer bills are for the company of Sonja, not for me.
It's pretty obvious that Sonja just needs
a new deal with Gaurav.
You sell $50,000 going forward, I get $5,000.
We have no problems. I said that 500 times.
But I also need to see the books.
-I gave you all the tax filings. -Tax filings have all the--
I didn't ask for tax filings.
The tax filings have everything.
-The books. The books. -The journals.
Yeah, monthly journals. All of that. If you want that,
-you come, sit with me-- -[overlapping talking].
I can't continue like this for no money at all.
-At this point-- -We'll figure it out.
The sales are there, the accounts, it's all good.
I think today was worth while.
Definitely, Gaurav was a little flustered.
He understands that I have to see the books
or we need to renegotiate
our whole way of working together.
I need a tequila!
I just peed my pants.
You're not wearing pants.
♪
[Christmas chimes]
Wow. Oh my god.
This is so perfect.
Look, it's Jerry.
So good to see you,
thank you so much for doing this for me.
-Second video, here we go. -I know! After Viva La Diva .
So this is your living room.
-Looks great. -Ready for your holiday party.
So we have your Petrossian.
Oh my god, the caviar arrived, yes!
Yeah and it's quite fabulous, I must say.
Oh my god, look at this.
This is beautiful.
Oh my god, and you put the caviar right inside.
-How perfect is this? -A nice little snack.
I need to get into hair and makeup.
I want this Christmas song and the music video
to reflect the holidays and friends getting together,
and celebrating.
Enjoy just being with the people that you love.
That's what I want the vibe to be
and so I hope I gonna get that vibe from the girls
because you never know.
Where's my darling?
-Hi! -Hi, how are you?
I'm great. I'm just getting my face on.
Look at you, get that face on.
Hi, sweetheart. You know what, should I do the whole album?
-I think you should too. -For Christmas.
Yeah, because everybody has a Christmas album.
What I really want for Christmas is a Christmas album.
That's good.
Yeah, that's good. We'll record it in the summer time.
Because that's when we have to do it.
-Summer. -That's the thing.
Then we have plenty of time and nobody's rushed.
Yeah and then Leah can rest assured
that all the paperwork will be in order.
♪
Hey, girl, oh you look so pretty.
Got your dress on.
I just brought mine.
I wish I had brought mine
because I wish I would have changed.
You brought Angel!
You look gorg.
This is a really pretty dress.
-It is, right? -It's not bad.
I mean I would never wear it normally.
No, but it's pretty.
I'm happy to be getting a Jovani dress to wear.
I'm just happy I didn't get a pair of sweatpants
and a paper bag to wear this year.
Look at the dress you're wearing, okay?
And look at--imagine if I showed up in a ----ing.
-This is your only option? -That's all she sent me.
Because she did send me two dresses.
How are you?
Oh, I feel alive actually.
Um, so recently I found out...
And?
Yeah. That's really sad.
Thank you, baby.
It was hard, but I think I wanted that to be the case,
obviously because she's so sweet and beautiful
and lovely and--
No, that's what's crazy.
So I'm kind of like, I'm very sad obviously about me
and Ashley not being blood related
but I'm also kind of excited,
like it's kind of like, "Oh my god."
At this point, I've gotten this far,
I've dealt with disappointment now in this space
which is really what I was scared about to begin with.
I don't really feel like I have anything to lose
by finding out once and for all who my father is.
So next week I'm going to meet with a geneticist
who's going to try to use my DNA to find my dad.
Which could--he could be alive.
I haven't even considered that in like three years.
Keep going. Keep searching.
Coming up.
Hank got a call at two o'clock in the morning
and Dylan said "Listen, you've got to come get Sonja,
"she's passed out drunk on my bed in my hotel room
and you've gotta get her outta here".
♪
♪ What do I want for Christmas ♪
♪ What is it gonna be ♪
Does she have any cold champagne?
Luann, did you make the champagne cold?
It should be cold. It was in the fridge.
Okay. Can you open it?
'Cause I'm not good at opening it.
Hey, Ramona.
Hello, my love.
Hi, sorry, we're just, uh--
No, that's okay. You're working. Oh sh--.
I wanted to put ice in it to make it colder.
Oh well, Merry Christmas.
All right, sorry.
Wow. This is really gorgeous. This is over the top.
Luann really did a good job here.
We're gonna just do this over and over.
I know but it's cold and it's raining,
so my hair is gonna be a mess.
Okay.
♪ What do I want for Christmas ♪
So let's--
♪ What am I dreaming of ♪
Didn't get the lip sync.
♪ What am I dreaming of ♪
Not looking at camera at all.
♪ What is it gonna be ♪
♪ What's gonna magically ♪
Take 50!
Don't worry about any of this.
It's just you, on cue, singing, opening this door.
You know what I mean?
I know, but I can't hear the cue. 'Cause I'm outside.
So I just need--
Maybe someone can wave to you.
Someone should wave. She's gonna wave.
Lu, she's gonna wave for the cue.
See, I came just in time.
Just in time. I get things done.
I am a director.
You are.
Somehow, I can always capture
what needs to be done and I get it done.
So listen, I could be a director, a producer,
major seller of real estate, you name it,
I can do it if I put my mind to it.
-Hi, girls! -Hi.
Sorry, we're just shooting a thing right here.
Oh nice. You look great.
Thank you.
Mwah. Mwah.
You look gorgeous.
Thank you.
-Hi, baby. -Mwah. Mwah.
Like the diva that you are.
I know, I didn't wanna bring her.
She's being weird.
So listen, Molly, can you help the girls
with whatever they want?
A drink. Their coats and all that while I get this shot done?
Thank you, Moll.
I love that dress on you.
Thank you.
White was a perfect idea.
All right, ready? 'Cause it's cold.
Angel! Angel, come here.
Honey, can you just keep the dog with you?
There's champagne flying, the dog is running around.
This is a music video, what the hell's going on here?
Okay, cool.
Go and eat some caviar and let me get my first shot in.
♪ What do I want for Christmas ♪
♪ What am I dreaming of ♪
Oh, they're doing a music video right now.
She's doing-- she's lip syncing.
She's doing it like 30 times already.
Thirtieth time.
Right?
I feel like I am walking into what Luann views
as eternal life when she's in heaven.
A 60 foot tall Christmas tree,
everyone wearing Jovani,
boxes of Tiffany's, and her as the star.
Okay, so Leah, we're ready for you.
Billy, can you do me the honors again
with a little champagne?
Okay, but go slow.
-Don't get sloshed before-- -I never get sloshed.
That's one thing I know how to do is handle my alcohol.
My words? Not necessarily.
Words have gotten me into trouble many times.
I'm trying to get better.
But they're not connected.
I got it. That's good. Yeah. Enjoy.
She gets sh--faced all the time.
-Yeah, she does. -[gasps] Oh my god.
I'm so in heaven.
So you can take your time getting ready.
I'll come and get you in like, um,
30 minutes and we'll do like a solo, okay?
How happy are you?
[laughing]
I'll do videos everyday just for the caviar.
-I know, right? -This part that goes,
"What's gonna make my heart explode"...
♪ Flow with love ♪
That's gonna be the thing.
Exactly.
I'm sorry to hear about your break up.
Thank you.
I'm really sorry. We found out at lunch.
You know me. I don't like to--
That was kinda fast and furious, right?
It was in and out. And here's the thing.
I think that I'm gonna take a break from dating.
Me, uh, you and I, you know, Garth is kind of just--
No! I was gonna ask you.
Well what happened was we were spotted
inside Harbor and photographers took pictures of us--
And now it's a thing.
Everywhere. I want a guy that's proud
to walk down the street with me.
Amen, sister.
An article is not going to throw him off.
Men are always intimidated by women
who are smarter than them, richer than them,
and have more high-profile,
and more connections than them.
I was telling her, how many men,
once they find out, they're in the press,
they're like the Dear John. The Dear Ramona.
"You know, Ramona, you're fabulous woman.
"But I don't wanna be in the press".
And I don't blame them, I don't blame them.
-It hurts. -It does.
'Cause he's a sweet guy and I liked him.
-Aw, sisters. -At least we're pretty.
Something that's gonna happen later.
Absolutely.
-I hope so. I will. -You will.
Coming up.
Dylan has a girlfriend?
She was there in the room with you.
He posted it on Instagram.
You were in the room.
♪
♪ If I can have my wish ♪
Oh, where am I supposed to be looking?
You can look directly in the camera.
Sorry, let's do it again.
♪ If I can have my wish ♪
Let's just do that again.
♪ If I can have my wish ♪
Just do it again.
♪ If I can have my wish ♪
There. We nailed it that time.
That's what we were after.
Let's do that one more time.
So, you know Sonja left her caviar in her hotel room.
Well, you know what I found out,
she fell asleep there and passed out.
We have to get the real story from Hank.
No, I got the real story.
So basically, Sonja went back to the hotel
where Dylan was staying with his girlfriend.
So Sonja, Dylan and the girlfriend.
Three of them. Now, I don't know--
What?
I saw the girlfriend on Dylan's Insta story.
Then, Hank got a call at two o'clock in the morning,
and Dylan said, "Listen, you have to come get Sonja
"because she's passed out drunk on my bed
"in my hotel room and you gotta get her outta here."
Why is Sonja making up stories?
Why does she wanna say that she had hot sex
with a hot guy all night when she actually passed out
in his bed and someone had to go get her?
I don't know what Sonja's trying to prove.
So this whole bullsh--story she made up.
She had the best sex ever. No wonder why
she was like "Oh no, I'm never going to see him again".
Like what, what is she talking about?
I know. I was trying to live vicariously through her.
She was trying to pontificate, make this whole story
into something that totally was not.
I mean, how grateful are we
that Hank came to get her to put her to bed at her house?
Why does she just make up stories?
She's always making up stories.
And she said, "You see, Lu, I've still got it,"
kinda thing, so, you know, we know she's still got it.
She doesn't have to prove it by having sex.
Doing something with a guy that's like 25 years old.
I'm telling you, she's very-- she's very jealous.
I'm telling you. You see how happy she was?
She was like beaming.
-Yeah, that's true. That's true. -She was.
She always does those kinda things to me.
When she's late at night, she's had drinks
and she's all over me, she loves me.
And then during the day she makes digs like that.
I know it's coming from a place, for her, of being sad.
Right.
And I get it. She's trying to escape the reality
of what's going on in her life, you know?
She left the caviar behind,
I mean, that's the worst part of the story.
You know what I said?
"Hank, she's not going to know, so just keep it".
Yeah.
♪ If I can have my wish ♪
-Beautiful. That was so good. -Okay, I think we've got that.
You crushed it.
Gotta fix my lipstick.
-Your turn. -Wait, I gotta fix my lipstick.
You didn't give me the heads up.
You're working with Luann again!
You haven't changed at all.
-Hi! -This is for you.
Just a little thank you
for throwing that birthday party for me.
I mean, as much as I said I didn't want it,
it turned out I needed it.
You look stunning.
Thank you, honey.
Did you love your caviar?
Uh, yeah I did.
-Did you eat it? -Yeah, yeah.
I had it with the model.
You had it with the model?
I love Sonja but she's a storyteller.
She makes sh--up all the time.
-Hi, knockout. -Woo!
Stunning.
Look at us. The gold. I went with silver.
No, no. I love this.
I love this on you.
May I kiss the ring of Mr. Stritch?
Hi, lover. How are you?
Give my due respects.
I heard there was some drama the other day.
Nothing we can't overcome.
Quiet on the set. I can't hear my part.
You know what, can we go towards this area
because Ramona can't concentrate.
No, because I have that hearing thing
-and I can't concentrate. -Oh, that's right.
Now, I hope the ladies understand
there's a lot that goes into production
and music videos and cabaret shows
and that I'm not just a diva.
It's really hard work.
Did I tell you that the song,
I was trying to get it out for this Christmas,
it's not gonna happen.
Oh, why not?
It'll be for next year because to get it on Spotify
-and do it properly. -It's better to wait
and then I can have all my papers in order for you.
All the paperwork will be ready by then.
That's great.
All your releases will be signed.
[chattering]
I'm glad that she mentioned it.
I mean, she's kind of making light of it
and that's great but yeah,
that does give us some time. Perfect.
♪ If I can have my wish ♪
♪ Life would be full of dish ♪
I love that. That was really cute.
♪
Just dance around.
I like that, yeah. I think it's cute.
It's the dinner party-hosting scene.
We got it. You were fabulous.
So you're good. You can chill out.
Eboni? Your turn.
-Oh, are we ready? So quick? -Your turn.
I'm a pro, girl. What can I say?
When I get it, I get it, and I got it.
♪ If I can have my wish ♪
♪ Life would be full of dish ♪
♪ Diamonds and parties too ♪
The hair like that. That was cute.
♪ What do I want for Christmas ♪
♪ Just you ♪
Did you eat the caviar yet that Lu gave you?
I brought it to the model's hotel
and I had it with him.
And, um, caviar is not exactly what I remember.
Dylan. Is that the long haired one?
I do like an effeminate guy.
You were not turned on by his slim, toned muscles.
I didn't like how he was commenting
on everyone's outfits, but he was gorgeous.
He was a very good lover.
But last night I had a problem sleeping
because tomorrow is my serious date
with marriage material.
Maybe you should focus on the marriage material.
Forget about the toy-boys.
Yesterday you were telling me
"Yes, girl, bust the ice", you know?
You know, it's good you had a little fun
I guess, but...
It was a good confidence-booster for a date with a guy.
You know, you'll be glowing from the sex,
you know who you are and then that guy
will be like "Whoa, she's glowing."
You know he has a girlfriend?
What?
Dylan has a girlfriend?
She was there in the room with you.
I don't know about that, but I know that--
-What do you mean? -I know he's a very good lover.
He posted it on Instagram.
You were in the room.
His Instagram.
[laughing]
Caught red handed.
Busted.
-She just closed the-- -Busted!
I get back there and I take out the caviar
and he has tequila and I go,
"What happened to Petrossian? And where's Hank?"
And it was just us and all of a sudden,
this girl comes out of the bathroom.
And I know I have this date coming up
to see marriage material guys
so it was like a fling, you know?
Speaking of caviar, look at this.
Can I see a picture of the girl?
I was there for the Dylan.
I know but she was there. So...
I'm not gonna ask total details
because that's private.
No, it's not private.
Okay, so give me details.
What happened with the girl?
You want sex details?
I just wanna know, like, did you, you know?
I mean, it's not different from any other time.
Did she just watch, or was she kind of involved?
I was there to get laid.
All right.
Sonja-rita!
I still got it 'cause all I know. She was there--
Sonja's making me feel like I have a boring life.
I don't really wanna tell you all the little details.
It's nothing new in the Book of Sonja, come on.
So we busted Sonja. Big time.
Wait, what'd she do?
She claimed that she went home with Dylan
and had like great sex.
Wait, what?
That's a super gorgeous one.
But she just--she lied.
She basically fell asleep there
with his girlfriend and passed out.
You know, she likes to make up stuff.
I call it lying.
She likes to lie. She's lies.
She'll say so many things about me that aren't true.
It's all ----ing lies.
-Why are you lying? -Yeah.
I feel bad for Sonja
because I really don't believe that she had sex
with anybody after the party
and I feel like Sonja always feels like
she's gotta come up with this bullsh--story
to entertain and please this group.
And Son, my love, you don't have to sing for your supper.
Group scene. We're doing the chorus now.
I want everybody at the piano. Elegant.
And some were supposed to be deposited in January...
this is business.
Get in this scene and we'll shoot this.
Where is Ramona?
Molly, can you get Ramona please?
Remember, there was six cheques.
I'm all confused, like I was so upset.
Come back here with the doggy,
because the dog is my friend.
The doggy is definitely your friend.
Yeah.
Well, you need to place everybody
because you're the director.
I am. I'm just trying to get Ramona here
and when I get all five in front of me,
I'll say "Ramona, you're there".
Right. So I should be next--
That's perfect. Yeah.
Go ahead and go next to Billy.
I wanted to be next to Billy.
Everybody wants to be next to Billy.
[chattering]
Where did Singer go?
Ramona.
I'm coming! I have a situation.
This is great, yeah. Perfect.
And Ramona will go...
Ramona needs to go--
Aw, Billy. No!
Just tell me how many checks, quickly.
How many cheques?
What is Ramona doing?
She's like a diva already.
Ramona, you're holding everyone up.
I know. I have a major six figure problem
that I have to ----ing fix, so leave me alone.
This will be three minutes. Literally three minutes.
Put your phone down please.
When there's real money involved,
they're just going to have to wait.
-By Sonja? -Yes.
Money comes first. Always.
Circling the globe, 'til you find the perfect man.
So we get that corner light off?
Yeah. It's in the reflection.
Get away from all those distant memories.
[laughing]
We have hit a wall.
We are diva'd out.
Last shot. It's a wrap and we're outta here.
Ramona spins it so hard,
the guys are falling off the globe.
Sometimes you try a little hard, woman.
I think the music video's going to be amazing
so at the end of the day...
♪ So what do I want for Christmas ♪
♪ Just you ♪
As much of a pain in the ass they can be,
it turned out great.
♪ Circling the globe until we find the perfect man ♪
Next time on the Real Housewives of New York City.
I've never had a matchmaker before.
Then I had back surgery.
When it herniates, the jelly comes out.
Ah, yuck!
-Now this says it all. -This view is amazing.
Right now, it's a sell.
I feel like we won't do that much during shows.
I was exposed to COVID.
I have to quarantine for five days.
Wait. You're going to leave me
with these bitches to do Black Shabbat ?
-Shabbat Shalom. -Shabbat Shalom!
My best friend, Michael Lorber, he's Jewish,
so I know a little bit, but not a lot.
Of course, every chick has had a Jewish boyfriend,
once or twice. Right?
How about, when I went to college,
the Jewish people hated me.
We're at a shabbat dinner.
I was boycotted.
We're not talking about you.
-No one is listening to me. -Go! Go!