Ramona was talking with me
about how she does not like the way I talk about sex.
I don't subscribe to the fact
that to use those words mean you're unclassy.
Yeah, but it has nothing to do with class,
it has to do with education.
Well, no it doesn't have to do with education either.
-I just tried to explain it. -No, I gotta clear this up.
Why are you getting so angry?
Oh, so now I'm the angry black woman, Luann.
The term "angry" when referencing a black woman.
It's got a long, stereotypical history.
I'm really sorry that happened.
-Lu, make yourself comfortable -All right.
It's election night, we have to make it fun.
I mean, God knows, you know.
-Are you coming to the party? -Yeah.
A night in Harlem, with yours truly, Eboni K. Williams.
Ramona posted you on Instagram!
She also posted a picture of her new friend Bershan.
Are y'all telling me that Ramona is posting pictures
of Black women in her life
to counter a narrative that she is racist?
♪
Of all my vices, being glamorous is one
I'll never give up.
♪
I'm sex positive and BS negative.
♪
I may say the wrong thing,
but my intentions are always right.
I've had to work twice as hard for half as much,
But now, I'm coming for everything.
♪
Just like New York City,
Sonja Morgan never goes out of style.
♪
[car horn honking]
All right, T, you ready?
Whenever you are, my dear.
C'mon baby, let's go get our hair done.
Ooh! Do I have ponytail options?
You do.
This won't work because it's too--
this is this wavy texture.
Yeah, but it's like a loose wave. But um--
No, but I'm excited about tonight.
I'm excited to, you know, bring these women to Harlem.
Some of them are comin' for the first time.
Ramona says she's bringing her friend Bershan.
I have this lovely girl, her name is Bershan,
I've gotten really friendly with her.
Can I bring her with me,
'cause I have plans with her that night.
I just talked to the restaurant owner,
and I said, "Bring two extra place settings,
"because some of my friends might want a plus one."
Some of these ladies,
they're in their Upper East Side bubble.
I hope that they will think Harlem,
and the people of Harlem, and the culture of Harlem
is worth the slight inconvenience of pushing outside
of your little... five block radius.
That's what I hope.
You know, I've got this which is very Harlem-nights.
I love the bell sleeve,
and it's also very pandemic-wear comfortable.
I know Harlem, just almost as a tourist.
I'm so lazy, I always stay in my own neighborhood.
And if I can't walk there, you have to drag me there,
or send a car service.
And Leah wears God-knows-what, so I could show up in anything.
[phone ringing]
Hi.
Oh, hey. So I've got dresses laid out
for this Harlem nights thing.
So, what are you wearing?
You said you're wearing satin green?
It's so funny, I have a satin green dress here.
So, I'm gonna put that away.
You know, I used to go to Harlem quite a bit.
Jack and I were living on the Upper West Side,
so we weren't far from Harlem, really.
We used to go up there all the time to Sylvia's,
and go dancing. You know, I'm a fan.
Oh, Jesus. I've got long dresses,
but, um. But they have very big slits.
[giggling]
[club music]
♪
Oh, hey!
-I'll scoot in the other side. -Yeah, that's easy, yeah.
'Cause I have, like, heels and shoes, and--thanks.
-Hello, hello, hello beautiful! -Hi!
-You look very shimmery. -Sequins, hello, hello.
Oh, your pants kinda match my dress.
Cool! You at you, you rocked it.
Every time I see you,
-Right. -you're in six inch heels!
I met Bershan through some mutual friends
during the summer. We started hanging out.
She's a strong personality, she's like...she's there.
And she's not afraid to make her opinion known,
which I like.
You said you've never been to Harlem, okay,
-so this is it, darling. -Yeah, so this is it.
It took Eboni and you to bring me here.
So, there's always a first time for everything.
New Yorkers, you just stay within your region.
Why didn't you go to their housewarming party?
It's in Brooklyn.
Where do you think Brooklyn is, Ohio?
I don't live in Harlem, so I never go down there.
You know the funniest thing you ever told me?
Oh no, what? I put my foot in my mouth again?
You said "Okay, I love your lashes,
"but they're a little too long for the daytime."
Oh, right.
I was like... I love you.
I know, that's 'cause when I really like someone...
But that's when I really realized I F with this girl.
I really did!
I like you with the lashes, without the lashes,
-I just like you. -I love it. I love it.
♪
Knock knock, hey queen!
Hi! Eboni, how are you?
Adriane! It is so beautiful in here!
Adriane, you did it. Flowers are so perfect.
It's like we transported in time!
-Of course! -This is beautiful, baby.
Thank you for realizing this vision.
So I'm coming off of a massive dose
of these women's world.
Right? Like, spending that weekend in the Hamptons,
at Ramona's house, literally on her turf.
Now, it's time for them to come to my world.
And there is no better place for them
to get into the epicenter of Black culture
and Black excellence, than Harlem, USA.
And who is this lovely gentleman?
Oh, this Gill.
-Hello, I'm Gill. -Gale?
-Gill. -Gill! Oh, I heard the accent.
You know tonight is a Harlem night
with Eboni K Williams, moi.
Adriane and me, we've created for you guys,
amazing cocktails.
-Good! -To make you feel Harlem,
and go back a little bit in time, no?
The spirit and the elegance. Prohibition era--hey Nat!
You just snuck up in here, hey baby!
-How are you? -Good.
-It's beautiful. -This is gorgeous.
I love this place.
This is one of the few actual real speakeasies
-still left in Harlem. -It is.
It is true that you had to knock on this
-at one point to get in? -And there's a password.
Oh my God. These look like a ----ing death sentence.
Are you kidding me?
[gasps] Oh my God.
I love a speakeasy, always have.
[Eboni squealing]
-Hey, gorgeous! -Hi, sorry to interrupt.
-So, this is my friend Leah. -Hi, Leah.
You look gorgeous, welcome.
Oh my God, look at you! Hottie!
♪
Oh my gosh. Um, okay.
Meet handsome Gill, who's from Israel.
-Hi, nice to meet you. -Hi! Shalom!
-Well, hello. -Miss Luann! Hey, gorgeous!
Oh my God! Amazing!
Countess realness
[muffled] Hi, hi girls.
-How you doin'? -Welcome.
♪
-Are you kidding me? -All right, good for you.
Can we do one more of these Harlem spritz for Miss Lu?
-Yes. -What is in that?
-Love and happiness. -Love and happiness.
-And no alcohol. -And no alcohol, okay good.
I'm not gonna be able to get out of here.
I'm gonna spend the night here, no kidding.
Wouldn't be the first time.
Ooh, this is delicious.
-Isn't this great? -Thank you.
Miss Morgan's here, hey baby!
Hi! Look at you, you're wearing like, a tiara thing.
-I see headlights. -[laughing]
I didn't even realize Eboni had those headlights.
She so lawyered up all the time, and prim and proper,
the fact she's takin' the girls out tonight means a lot.
Let me see my girl Lu,
'cause I know she's always gonna dress.
[Luann laughing]
Is there an elevator?
Hold your heels, girl. Lordy.
-Is this Giovanni? -Of course!
I gotta go on my tiptoes.
-C'mon. -Oh, here comes Singer!
No one warned me about the heels situation.
Hi! How are you?
-Shimmer. -Thank you.
Hi!
We're kind of like, matching.
I know, similar, I love it! How are you?
So nice to meet you.
Gorgeous, welcome to Harlem.
Oh my God, I've heard so much about you.
I know, she says so much about you.
Eboni, Bershan, Bershan, Eboni.
-Yes! I can't--oh my God. -Okay, I love this.
You look amazing.
Yes! I didn't know-sequins, I know, I love it.
Guys, this is Ramona's friend Bershan.
Hi Beautiful, ooh I love this outfit too.
-Oh, thank you. -I'll give hugs.
-How are you? -Good, too.
Hi, beautiful!
I heard so many great things about you!
-From Ramona? -Yes! I mean, amazing stuff.
Now I feel so guilty! Ha ha!
The funny thing about Ramona and I,
is when we're with other people,
we do talk really well about each other,
and we stick up for each other. But that doesn't mean
I haven't talked sh-- about her in our group.
Okay, ladies. I know some people are hungry,
so we're gonna get our mixology class started.
We've got three choices to pick from for cocktails.
Eboni Step!
I do like the St. Germaine in the champagne!
-Do you get that? -Yeah!
We'll start with the Eboni Step.
Okay, so, we prepared you here, it's a very cool gin.
It's a Mediterranean gin.
I infused it with a flower from Asia.
It's like-- Ladies, ladies I'm gonna separate you.
[raucous laughter]
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay. We're messin' up in class.
Cheers for bringing us here.
-Cheers, thank you. -Thank you ladies.
I just had a long day, so I needed a shot.
I think America's had a long day.
-[laughing] -We did!
The elephant in the room is that we're 24 hours after
the election itself, and we really still don't know
who our next president is gonna be.
Does somebody have a phone with them?
I want Gill to take a photo before we go up, if that's okay.
Oh, watch out, Ramona's gonna whip that phone out.
I appreciate that. Thank you Gill.
-So let's get here. -I love that drink.
I dunno, this kinda bothers me that it's white and Black.
[bass notes]
Coming up.
I'm feeling a little tired, so I might leave
-in the middle of a course. -You got that vertigo again?
-How'd you know? -I know.
Oh my god. You know me so well.
-What is vertigo? -Here, I'll show you.
You're gonna show us your vertigo?
This kinda bothers me that it's white and Black.
♪
-Can we mix? -Oh, we're segregated.
C'mon, c'mon baby.
[indistinct crosstalk]
What difference does it make? But you know what, she's right.
We're trying to have a night of cultural infusion.
That's the point, so I'm gonna go with it.
Yeah, let's alternate.
No, no, no, because then it's too...
-Then it's too...played off. -One and one, you know.
It's very telling that Ramona is even noticing this.
You know, and is all of a sudden,
the anti-segregation police.
Making strides.
And can you be kind enough to do up and down,
because that's better for Instagram.
No, sir. Up and down. You go up and down.
Ready?
Maybe Sonja Morgan was onto something.
Maybe with Ramona, it is all about the 'gram.
[ice clinking]
Let's go up? Let's go eat, queens! Thank you, Gill!
-Enjoy. -Thank you!
I can see Ramona's on her best behaviour
when she's like this.
♪
Hi everyone, how are you?
So this is the owner, Adriane.
Adriane, this place is so beautiful.
This is Ramona. This has been in her family.
I'm a, I'm a virgin to Harlem.
'Cause I don't think you call Rao's really, Harlem.
♪
Not in that way that we mean.
With an F, yeah, Fatima.
Rao's is like, East Harlem. It's an Italian restaurant.
Baby, I'm bringing you to Harlem-Harlem.
Okay, ladies. This is a Harlem night
with Eboni K. Williams, let's go!
Let's be seated.
-She loves her name! -I know.
Ramona's here, Sonja.
Sonja Tremont Morgan.
-Lu. -Fabulous, Eboni.
Thank you, Miss Bershan.
-Oh, look at this. -This is gorgeous.
Welcome to Harlem.
We're gonna start with my favourite thing.
Natalie knows this, my love language is gifts.
So I'm going to present each of you with a gift.
-Leah, my dear. -Thank you!
And you can open this right now.
-Oh! -I love this.
Oh my God.
A candle? I love candles.
Essence of roses and sandalwood.
Inspired by James Baldwin.
I'm obviously very deeply indebted
and in love with Harlem culture.
But I'm, you know, going to give grace to the fact
that these women might not be as familiar.
I'm giving Lu "Savoy".
Stompin' at the Savoy.
'Cause our countess with the cabaret.
Oh yeah!
So I give every woman a particular individual candle
from Harlem candle company, amazing.
With her infamous Upper East Side townhouse,
you are, my dear, getting the brownstone candle.
[giggling]
Harlem, a lot of..
It's based off of how they show up in this culture,
and in this world and I hope they can appreciate it.
Ramona, I think we're gonna make great cocktails
and friendship together.
You my dear, are getting the speakeasy candle.
I love that! Well, thank you!
I'm a sucker for candles.
-[general greeting] -Hi guys, nice to see you!
-Hi, good to see you! -Am I here?
Okay, ladies.
Miss Fatima's gonna take drink orders.
Food's already in the works.
First course will literally be out in five minutes.
Can I just have a sparkling water?
What do we do with this and this?
Whatever you want, baby.
You wanna put it in your hair...
What can I get for you to drink?
-Ladies. -[glass dinging]
Now that our orders are in,
each of you have been assigned a particular icon
from the Harlem renaissance.
And as you might imagine, it's been with intention.
I learned in the Hamptons, most of these women know
zero about the true, authentic Black story.
I live and breathe this stuff,
I have an academic background in it.
I think I'll stand.
-I think you need to stand. -I think I'll stand.
Let me tuck in my breast, hold on.
I'm Josephine Baker,
because Josephine is the originator of my mantra
in my book, Pretty Powerful.
Josephine Baker had her fabulous breasts naked,
for the world to see to get the attention of the world.
And you know what she did with it?
She spoke at the march on Washington,
she was sure to never perform in segregated audiences.
She turned that aesthetic into power.
So obviously, I am Josephine Baker.
Obviously.
Leah got--she's James Baldwin this evening.
James Baldwin was an eloquent, beautiful,
queer truth-teller.
I that you are a straight shooter, Leah McSweeney,
and so you my dear are James Baldwin tonight.
Oh! I'm not worthy, but thank you.
Yeah. Next up, Nat!
So Eboni, she feels, I'm sure, a responsibility to do this.
Nat's getting W.B. Du Bois, also pronounced Du-boys.
And it's not about having fun for her, or us.
Even though that's what we're used to.
It's really about teaching.
He was the first black man to get a PhD from Harvard.
And he said, "I assure you, the pleasure was all Harvard's."
[laughter]
But, I'm pretty sure the women are not into history.
Miss Luann de Lesseps!
My dear, you're Billie Holiday for very obvious reasons.
-I'm honored! -For very obvious reasons.
The voice of Harlem, the voice of the Renaissance.
It's an honour to be assigned Billie Holiday,
but you, I'm just feeling like,
let's get things moving! Where's the food?
Where's the music?
This is not the Harlem I'm used to.
Lady Sonja Morgan. You are Zora Neale Hurston.
I look at Eboni as a mouthpiece, that's what she does.
She is a speaker, she's a broadcaster.
Of course, she's gonna suck the air out of the room
and take the moment to speak her word.
If you don't like it, you better not show up,
'cause that's what you're gonna get.
So, I assigned you the most prolific writer
of the Harlem Renaissance, Zora Neale Hurston.
I'm feeling this is very informative,
but I thought we were just coming for dinner.
Miss Ramona! My fellow taste-maker.
You are Duke Ellington this evening.
Wow.
I like learning new things, but I wish the,
she gave me a whole, like um, an agenda.
A musician, a composer, the leader of the--
that's kind of the image we think of Duke Ellington
with his white tux.
Cocktails: one hour.
Sarah is invoking Nella Larsen tonight,
who's a lesser known icon.
History class: one hour.
-...Nurse, librarian. -Nurse!
Shout out to nurses, Lu, exactly.
Dinner: an hour.
She's got multiple ethnicities going on.
-Did you just eat my little-- -Yeah, I'm starving.
-So welcome to Harlem, ladies! Cheers!
All right, we've had enough. Can we just eat now, and just--
we'll get back to this tomorrow or next week?
She ate my sandwich!
I was starving, I couldn't help it! Here.
Eboni's losing some of her students.
I also am not sure how she's not seeing that this is like...
not going great [chuckling]
I love this, like, really showing our history,
our culture, we get sorta brushed over.
-Thank you, queen. -We're one nation.
Like, I'm tired of this whole divided, you know-
"We're white girls from the Upper East Side,
"you're Black girls from Harlem."
I can't stand it at all.
We're Americans, we live in United States of America.
It pisses me off. Seriously.
She's entitled to her opinion, but sis, no.
We're all the same, like all that sh--.
Well, I don't know that we're the same.
♪
We're one nation. Like, I'm tired of this whole
"We're white girls from the Upper East Side,
"you're Black girls from Harlem."
We're all the same, like all that sh--.
Well, I don't know that we're the same.
I'm saying white, Black, Hispanic, Asian,
Japanese: we come from the same core, right?
These bitches already think we're exactly the same
in all the wrong ways.
What they need is a better understanding
of our exceptionalism, and our uniqueness.
I really in this moment feel undermined.
-Mm. -[chattering]
Thank you. I'm using the restroom really quick.
You guys, start eating.
You're not into the octopus.
I have to pee-- no, I'm going to.
Let me know, 'cause when you come back,
it might not be there.
You know what? Me too. And I got a small bladder.
Bon appétit, eat away everybody.
All right, yeah, I'm starting, I'm eating.
Adriane, this is delicious.
[general agreement]
Just so you know, I'm feeling a little tired,
so I may, like, leave in the middle of courses.
The fact that you came is all that I care about.
-You got the vertigo again? -How did you know?
Oh my God. You know me so well, it's scary.
What is vertigo?
Here, I'll show you.
You're gonna show us your vertigo?
Yeah, you'll see how I sway off to the side.
But you have to catch me.
Is she more responsible? No, you'll catch me.
I can't catch you, don't trust me.
Show me your vertigo.
Hold my hands, I shut my eyes. Watch, I sway.
Oh my God.
You see? That's the inner ear.
Yeah. She just got colon cancer, and she just...
-Oh. -It's a big loss, like...
And you know I'm a cancer survivor.
I know, that's what Ramona told us.
-Yeah. Yeah, well-- -But, I don't even know how
you mentally dealt with that. On top of physically.
Stage four. Given three months to live.
-You thought you were gonna die? -Told me I was gonna die.
And I'm here, girl. Thirteen years cancer-free.
Like, seriously.
I have the chills right now, I have the chills
Being diagnosed with a terminal illness
and being able to live to talk about it...
Is not something a lot of people get to do.
♪
Are you happier now than you were?
Or do you see things totally different? Like how do--
I live my ----ing life now. I do it all.
-I'm vivacious. -Yeah, I love that.
-I used to be a people pleaser,
I used to care about what people say about me.
I don't give a [bleep]
Then we're gonna get along fine.
Yeah, you know what I mean? Like...
It's the inner ear. I think, go to the doctors for it.
-Oh, you said that. -And it's stress.
I think I have to start doing some--
maybe you wanna do it with me.
We have to do this uh... TM or something.
-You didn't want me to leave it. -I stress myself out.
What's TM that you were just talking about?
I have to start doing meditation.
I just think she did take on too much
with this whole group of us, and--
Oh, the Hamptons?
Yeah, and she has vertigo again, it's a sign.
I'm a perfectionist. I am a perfectionist.
And I want everything, like, just like. I notice this table--
This table is perfection, okay? Right down to these.
Who did I give you, baby? Duke Ellington.
I understand. And I'm glad you included my new friend Bershan.
I really actually, really like her.
All right, ladies.
Hello!
Okay, this is called the Bershan.
Oh, you made a drink?
This is my first impression
of having a personal interaction with Bershan,
and because she chose to express
those All Lives Matter vibes, I feel very dismissed,
to be candid.
Here, move closer to Sonja,
because I'm not feeling well, and I gotta go.
You outdid yourself [stammers]
-No, seriously. -Hey.
-Bye, gorgeous. -Feel better.
-Bye. -Bye, baby.
-Do you want your corsage? -No, you can have it.
So, this is funny. Just be honest, right.
Me and my bestie, we were out, just four days ago.
She's dating a guy she loves.
He has a small penis. Would you break up?
And look, Eboni put her head down, she's like, "Ugh."
[laughing]
Maybe it was a good idea for Ramona to leave.
Not because of the vertigo,
but because we're all talking about small penises.
He's four, and it's not girth.
Oh, four's not bad, you could work with that.
Are you ----ing kidding me?
No girth, skinny and four! Four is like this.
Oh, that's two.
No, two, girl, is like this.
I don't think I've ever seen a penis that small.
-No, it's four. -I mean same but--
I really do. I do. I have to have it, child.
Well, you know, people say that you can't have it all,
-but damn, I will die trying. -Amen.
Y'all, thank y'all for coming to Harlem.
I think actually all of y'all have been before.
-Yeah. -Yes.
I know Ramona was a Harlem virginite.
I think this is a magical part of New York.
It's Black excellence,
that is a part of American excellence.
You opened a package for us to discover.
It's right in your backyards, y'all!
Upper East Side, right down the street.
-Let's do this again. -Let's do this again
♪
Coming up.
I put you through such hell for a long time.
-Oh, it's all right. -I've made so many mistakes.
♪
All right, Coco. I'm gonna do a mask.
Now, I forgot which side it's supposed to be on.
I think this side, yeah.
Actually doesn't probably matter.
Feels very refreshing. Let's time it.
♪
Think it's like ten minutes? Five minutes?
♪
You want a treat?
What do you want?
Pumpkin spice!
You like it, boy? You like it?
♪
-Hey, gorgeous. -Hi.
-Oh my God, look at you. -Clips, look at you.
You look beautiful. Good to see you, baby.
-Good to see you. -Thank you.
I was actually just looking at, like, the menu.
Probably gonna get a tiny cocktail.
All right.
So... I thought Harlem went really good.
I'm so glad you guys came. I planned so much.
So much intricate detail.
-I was just proud, honestly. -Yeah.
Everybody there, I think, appreciated it.
Do you think that it resonated with everybody?
Yeah, completely.
Yeah. I mean--
I mean, Ramona obviously didn't feel well, you know.
No, and she sent me a really nice text message,
actually, after. And so did Sonja.
Sonja sent, like, the sweetest message.
It was great. I mean, I thought Lu,
I thought she was a tiny bit quiet, maybe?
I mean, look.
Everybody can't be on all the time.
-I didn't take it personally. -They can't be on all the time.
I think that white people are scared to--
Get it wrong.
Exactly, you know? And also like, look.
You're ----ing like, I wouldn't wanna debate with you.
You don't want the smoke, Leah?
I don't know if I really want the smoke with you, you know?
Of course the women are walking on eggshells
after the weekend in the Hamptons.
They really don't know how offensive
they are sometimes.
-Diana! -Are you talking to me?
-Michelle. -No, I'm Michelle.
-You meant Michelle. -I get my help wrong.
She said she get her help wrong?
Not only are you a black woman,
-Mm-hm, but you-- -Have studied it.
It's a different like- this is your--
-It's a different level. -This is my life's work.
It's your life's work.
Honestly, like, I love having conversations about race
with my Black friends. It's ----ing interesting.
It's ----ing dynamic, it's like,
there's never something to not talk about
because everyone's experience is so different.
But you, I think you are very knowledgeable,
and you are very powerful when you speak, as you should be.
And you shouldn't have to like, like--
Dumb it down, or quell my light. I just can't do that.
No, no, no, and you shouldn't, you know what I mean?
But also, just, I think, be aware of your power.
Which, I think you are. But, maybe you're not as...
-Some... I um, haven't been, Leah.
You know, I think you can be a little intimidating, maybe.
All right, and I receive that.
I never go into a space like, "I'm going to show this bitch."
But you know, the reality is,
I make no apologies for who I am.
Yeah, I'm a lot. You bitches are a lot too.
If some of these women feel like they can't be open,
then they are just going to be...right?
Like-- so I don't know how to feel like they can,
because it's a crazy...
like, it's a landmine for a white person.
-Do you know what I'm saying? -I do. No I do. It's just like,
I'm not a white woman, obviously.
And like, I can have my best intentions
and want to do it this way that they're getting it,
but, if it's not landing I need to know that.
I don't know. It's not like I know.
Have you talked to them yet, yeah, you know.
But I'm not saying that you shouldn't be doing this
if you want to--
I know where you're about to go.
I'm not, like, feeling I'm on payroll
to teach white women about Black America.
Exactly. Like, I don't want you to have to feel
like this is your job, right?
I want you to be able to chill, too.
But I also, honestly, Leah, feel like...
if not me, then who?
You know, no one's perfect. Especially these women.
They do have some learning to do.
But, she can also get to know them.
I think, just her getting to know them
and being their friend will teach them so many things.
This summer, when George Floyd was first killed,
and Breonna Taylor and everything,
I did check out. And I actually was like,
"I'm not doing this anymore. Y'all go find another,
"like, Black teacher." And then, I felt like
-I wasn't my purpose. I think-- -You've gotta do you.
I've gotta do me, and I'll be honest,
they could be a group of Black women
-and I would be the same. -Right. Oh, I know you would.
-You know what I mean? -[laughing]
♪
-You want some peanuts? -Sure.
Yeah? Because you're on the keto diet, right?
No, no, no.
You're not?
I thought you were on the keto.
Hello?
Oh, I just heard Victoria. It is you, indeed!
Did you look through the-- your new peephole?
I looked through my new peephole.
What do you want to drink?
I don't know. Do you have your faux?
-I've got my faux-se. -faux-se?
So, Victoria hasn't been drinking for like a year now.
-Congratulations.
-Yeah. -Very proud of her.
Very grown up to get it at this age.
-I mean, it's impressive. -A year and a half.
But, you know, so when you brought it up,
she was like, "Yeah, but we used to love to party."
I'm like, "Yeah, I love to party, you know?"
And I have great memories of those days.
Listen, will I ever drink again? I don't know the answer to that.
Anyway, I would like for Sonja to kind of reel it in.
Wells Fargo!
-It's not JP Morgan! -Stop the drinking!
-Well the best thing you-- -Not gonna say anything.
A powerful example, you know?
I'm a lot more calm and a lot more happy--
I would say you are your true self.
You know what I've mean?
You've become nicer and calmer--
Totally more connected to myself, yeah.
And that's the point.
There's a delivery. I'm going to go get that.
When you're in a different place and you're grounded,
and you feel present, and you can actually be there
for people, it's so different in terms
of how my relationships have changed.
It's a gift that you don't drink, Mom.
I feel so much better. I do!
You're a lot better, to say the least.
You know what I mean? You're just my mom.
I really don't feel that I-- I think when I was younger,
I knew you as this...
-Hi, mom! -Hi, you two!
[sighing]
Hi, my sweetie.
And then there was that... that period...
-What did I do? -Leave your feet in the vehicle!
What did I do wrong?
Those years, you know, where I was growing up
when I was your age, you know,
dealing with my dad who had a drinking problem.
And, the same time from 8 to 18--
It's like a parallel universe.
It's parallel, yeah. And I'm starting to connect the dots,
you know, and so many things that I did.
I mean, my father's the river that runs through my life,
that I'm realizing now, like, how it affected me
my whole life.
This is all I wanted from you as a kid.
I wanted you to be honest and acknowledge
the insanity and say you're sorry.
You know what I mean? It's all I ever wanted. I didn't--
Well, listen, I put you through such hell for a long time,
so I just want to say I'm sorry.
Mom, it's OK.
I've made so many mistakes.
It's OK, Mom.
I love you so much. I do.
I can't imagine the turmoil
that we're going through right now,
having to deal with a hangover on top of it.
I really can't.
Coming up....
America's daughters, they get to see
a woman vice president. We've never seen that
in American history.
OK, I don't want to talk politics.
-Right? Right? -I don't want to talk politics.
I don't want you to hold back.
I want you to be completely honest
when we're talking to Whitney, you know what I mean?
She's here to, like, guide us and help us.
We need to, like, speak openly about, like,
what you want out of a high school, your strengths,
-your weaknesses-- -I don't know what I want.
Well, you know some things. You want to stay--
You're the one who wants me to go to private school.
Oh, no, I don't-- I want you to have options.
[knocking on door]
Oh, my God, OK. There's Whitney.
We have to be on our best behaviour.
-Hi! -Hi!
It's so nice to meet you, finally.
Should I take this off?
Oh, my God, you really are the hottest woman
I've ever seen in my life. Sorry. Just come on in.
-Beyond nice of you. -The same to you.
-Thank you. -Hi.
I'm excited to meet you guys in person.
I know. Come on in.
Whitney is a consultant that I hired to help us apply
to high schools for Kiki.
Because this process is absolutely gruelling.
So, one thing that we're gonna be looking for
in a school is a school that promotes hands-on
project-based learning.
Yes, and this is--sorry to just interrupt, but this is--
And you know, because you've been dealing
with my mother, and I'm sorry about that.
My mother is involved in pretty much every decision
I make with Kier. Because she is obsessed with her.
And Bunny thinks that Kiki will be the child
that I never was to her.
She's been gung-ho on Kiki going to her high school
that she went to, which is an all-girl Catholic school
that's very much, like, writing and not project-based
learning. And I'm like, she's--
I'm meeting so much resistance with her.
My mother is hardcore.
And she has the best intentions for my daughter,
but I feel like I'm being pulled between my mom and, you know?
-You are. -I am.
I mean, you're in a challenging position.
What I really want for Kier is for her
to really have a great high school experience, you know?
I don't want her running all over New York City,
going out to raves, and then, like, ending up
in a therapeutic community run by nuns. Like I did.
So, we're gonna help guide you in the direction
that we think is helpful. But ultimately,
I want you to own this process, OK?
-Do you feel OK with that? -Yeah.
-Yeah? -I feel fine.
And it'll be awesome for Mom to see you rise to the occasion.
So, I already emailed you your school list.
I'm gonna kick you out of here
and you're gonna go start your research.
Oh, good idea. Yep, look up these schools, OK?
OK, I will. Thank you.
You're welcome. Text me later. You have my--
Good job, Kiki, you're taking ownership, I love that.
-You are. -Stop.
How are you feeling?
My mother makes me feel so guilty about everything.
It's like, I have loved Kiki being educated
at a public school, having friends
that are all different races and socioeconomics,
and private school's a whole different ballgame.
I'm like, can she handle that change?
I was going to a school where I was, like--
girls were pulling up in limousines and I was getting--
-It's different. -off the M5 bus.
So, and I have my own issues about that stuff.
But I don't want to project it onto her, you know?
For Kiki, really I wanted to nurture a love of learning
and a curiosity, but I also don't want her to be, like,
in school with a bunch of elitists.
And that's something that is, like, very hard to balance
when you're dealing with, like, private school education
in New York City. I'm like, so terrified
that I'm gonna make a mistake.
I feel like Rob's gonna be so awkward
during the parent interview. We can't leave him out
of the interview? He has to come?
-We can't! -Can he just, like, not talk?
"You're playing the role of silent."
"Yeah, you're playing the role of mute. Thank you."
[hip-hop music]
♪
I'm using paper napkins. I have too much laundry to do.
Can you slow down? Mommy's a little tired today.
I guess I should've waited 'til she got here.
-Should I take the ice out? -[doorbell buzzing]
Oh, good, she's here. Ha, perfect timing!
Perfect timing.
-Oh, sexy! -Well, it's kinda warm out.
You look beautiful.
So do you. I had something else on,
but my apartment's a little warm 'cause it got so warm now.
I'm holding Carey James, he's so excited.
I don't want him to scratch your pretty legs.
I invited Eboni to come over and she brought her dog,
Carey, because I want to get into the meat
and potatoes of her.
Yes, can she be a little preachy at times, yes.
But I enjoy Eboni's company.
She has a good heart, good soul and I respect her.
Tremendously.
-Ramona, this place is gorgeous. -Thank you.
Look at this view!
-All right, so cheers. -Cheers again.
Lovely getting to know you, becoming good friends.
Thank you, Ramona.
And thank you for having me over to your home.
What did you think of the Harlem night?
I was so excited you got to come.
You know what? it was really nice to be
in that type of an atmosphere.
I really was, like, blown away by your attention to detail.
You took it to another level.
No, you did. It was just really beautiful and stunning.
That's good. Um, so we don't have to talk too much
about it, but how are you just feeling with the election
and how our city and world will be
in the next few months?
[dramatic music]
Um, I really just don't want to think about it.
I've been thinking about it a lot and--
If it goes how it's looking it's gonna go right now,
what I'm very, very happy about is America's daughters,
they get to see a woman vice president.
We've never seen that in American history.
OK, I don't want to talk politics.
-Right? Right? -I don't want to talk politics.
Have we had a vice president woman, Ramona?
That's an objective fact.
Let's have a nice evening. I don't want to talk politics.
I don't.
I'm actually shocked that Ramona is so triggered.
I thought, like, we can have middle ground.
Like, I actually thought about this--
was we are woman. And she has a daughter.
And can't we all agree how great it is
to see women advance in American politics?
You know, I'm not gonna let you off the hook that much?
-You know what? -Only because--
You know what they say?
Don't talk about politics with friends.
So, we're not talking about politics.
Does Eboni have to talk politics all the time?
I know we have more in common than that.
As my daughter Avery would say, "Peel back the onion."
Eboni, can you peel back the onion, please?
I'll change the subject.
So, after that whole weekend that we had...
Well, I'm happy about Kamala Harris, I'll say that.
That's-- as your right to be.
After our whole weekend in the Hamptons,
you really opened up my mind to thing.
-So, I first looked up what-- -Oh, white fragility.
-microaggressions are. -Oh, microaggression. OK.
Microaggression? What's that all about?
It's about saying certain words that trigger people
who are Black.
OK. There is this issue and it's been an ongoing issue
in this country. So, of course we're aware,
but we are not--
-That aware. -that aware.
Like, when a Black person goes into a store, they go,
"Go to the sale rack."
A Black person goes into a store, say, they follow you
to make sure you're not gonna shoplift.
Steal, yeah.
Right. Or, like, "Oh, you have great hair."
"Is it yours?" They ask that, too!
Add that, yeah. So, you opened up my mind.
You seemed like you appreciated knowing, you know,
-once you know. -No, absolutely. Absolutely.
I think that I tend to be--
and it's probably just because of the experiences
I've had in the world working at Fox
and working in news. So, I kind of sometimes have a--
a bit of a grittier lens on our country.
We are a divided country right now, Ramona,
and we're in your home, and I'm gonna respect that--
But you know, when you think-- when you put out that energy,
it's gonna happen, and I don't like that.
We don't even know who the president is,
which is indicative our nation is divided.
Well, excuse me, we don't have a president
'cause normally there weren't mail-in ballots.
Everything changed. This is a whole-- the election's never-
You said you didn't want to talk about politics.
Well, you're bringing it up. can we just change the subject?
I just, I'm gonna take a step away
because, you know what, I don't want to do this.
I don't. I'm liking you, and I just don't think you mix--
I don't know you that well. Feel like you're teaching me,
-you're preaching me. -Tell me what I taught you.
I don't know. You know what? I'm walking away for a minute
-and I'm gonna come back. -OK.
which is indicative our nation is divided.
I feel like you're teaching me, you're preaching me.
Tell me what I taught you. I don't know. You know what?
I'm walking away for a minute and I'm gonna come back.
OK.
Eboni's not having a conversation.
It seems like she just wants to ram something
down my throat, so to speak, and it's like her way or no way.
And she's sounding a little preachy.
Coco, we don't want to talk politics.
It's been a crazy week. I'm stressed out enough.
I know she means well,
but I feel like she wants to educate me.
I don't want to be educated.
I mean, I like my mind being opened up, and I just said,
"You opened up my mind." And then [clapping hands].
Wow, she can't, like, back off.
Ramona needs to really understand,
I'm actually just trying to connect with you,
and really see not what your party politics are,
'Cause I don't give a [bleep] about that.
I'm trying to understand what your values are.
Because if we can assess and have any alignment,
right, on values, we can have a real friendship.
You know what, Coco? This is why I'm not feeling well.
I haven't put on my butterfly necklace.
It's me and Avery. So, this is my happy necklace.
This is me and Avery.
-That's absolutely beautiful. -And it's a one-of-a-kind piece
and everyone wants to know where they can get it,
but it's specially made for me.
And I haven't worn it for a while,
and I just want to be in a happy place, so.
Here's to being in a happy place and it's good to
chat with you, but I just want to be in a happy place.
I want to be in a happy place, too.
But I also want to be in an authentic place.
I want us to be able to tell the truth, Ramona,
to each other. If we're gonna be good girlfriends.
I want to have fun right now! OK?
I had a really hard week.
this is the white female fragility, Ramona.
You're preaching me.
-I'm not. -You are.
-That's gaslighting. -I'm not gaslighting you.
You're gaslighting me.
I invited you into my home--
I want to have a real friendship with you, Ramona.
-Fine. I do, too. -'Cause I like you.
But you can't like me
only when I say the things you want me to say.
You can say whatever you want, I don't want to talk political.
I don't want to talk about race, religion or creed.
-Is that OK? Creed. -Ramona, that's who I am.
Well, then you know what?
You need to back off a little, because, you know,
The other girls are not feeling really good about this.
They feel like you're lecturing us.
It was a fun night, but we were just saying,
it's like being back at school.
Well, when you're with Eboni,
you feel like it's her platform to educate us.
It's a huge movement right now.
No, I know, and we respect that.
But I'm wondering when it's gonna loosen up with her
a little bit and we can talk about other subjects.
They should be big girls, 'cause everybody's an adult.
And they should say how they feel.
You invited me here, I thought that we were
-in a good place, Ramona. -We are in a good place.
But you can't tell me not to talk about how I feel.
You're too heavy for me right now.
This is too serious of a conversation
when I just want to enjoy my life.
I want to escape for 24 hours, OK?
Ramona, I'm glad you can do that.
I don't have the privilege to do that.
-Does that make sense to you? -Yes, you can.
I can't escape it.
Am I supposed to take this off and hang it up?
Do you have a coat closet for my Blackness, Ramona?
I'm feeling I'm being attacked, OK?
I really, you know, tried to understand
and I took things in. And I'm actually--you know,
I didn't have to bring this up. I mean,
the other person I want to bring up is EJ Walker.
She was the first frickin' millionaire and she was Black.
CJ Walker.
-Whatever, Walker, Walker. -No, not whatever, Ramona.
All right, you know what? I got to go now.
All right, lovely to see you. Thank you for the great gifts.
It wasn't lovely to see me, though.
You were upset and why? We don't have to be upset.
you're correcting me about "Oh, it's not C--"
Now, Ramona, you know I didn't do that.
How about just saying, "You know what, Ramona?
"That is admirable that you knew
"the first millionaire woman was a Black chick."
Instead of correcting me like a teacher.
-That's her name. -You're not getting it.
But Ramona, you know, that's not her name.
Oh, my God! It's not the point. I'm actually shocked right now.
I feel like she's just picking on me for no reason.
Before I leave, I do have to ask you one question.
Sonja Morgan mentioned to me
that she had a problem with you posting the picture
that I liked and reposted of me and you.
She was just jealous. Sonja loves the attention.
And when she saw I gave you attention,
-she was resentful. -Look who's lecturing now.
-I don't know, I just feel like -Look who's lecturing.
-I feel you're attacking me. -Look who's standing up here.
Miss Schoolteacher.
You're not being attacked, babe,
I just wanted you to know, CJ Walker,
'cause I know you're gonna tell your friends.
-All right. -That's it!
All right, all right. Come here.
-All right. -OK?
I'm not a big scary monster, you crazy lady.
[bleep].
You know? Like, let--
and I don't want to feel like we have no fly--
-you know what a no-fly zone is? -That--yeah.
-You know no-fly zone? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK.
And I want to know about your feelings.
And I want to be respectful to that.
I think that you do. I think you do.
So, don't say, "I don't want to hear about you
being Black, [bleep] and [bleep] -"
I was up five o'clock in the morning researching
-all this sh--. -You're tired. And that's OK.
But- but I'm not gonna treat you with kid gloves
-and white fragility. -I don't want you to.
Because you're a strong white woman.
Yeah, and you're a strong Black bitch.
Yeah, I am. Strong Black bitch. I like that.
So, overall, a sh--show. This night was a sh--show.
But one that we survived.
And I hope that it ends up bringing you closer,
in a weird way.
I wasn't gonna let you kick me out,
'cause you ----ing tried it.
-Bitch, you tried it. You were. -I said, "To be reconvened."
Well, actually what was funny was,
you were gonna leave your own house.
You were like, "I'm gonna leave." I'm like,
"Well, I don't even ---- ing know how to lock up."
Next time on The Real Housewives of New York City....
I love men that can travel to other countries.
We don't want nobody broke.
Welcome to Salem, bitches!
[housewives cheering]
-Is the hotel OK? -No, no, it's haunted.
-[housewives screaming] -Only good spirts here.
Maybe I'll, you know, get lucky during the night.
-She's the Halle Berry Catwoman. -Wow! Ooh, you can twerk!
Wait, where--
-Shut the [bleep] up. -No, you shut the [bleep] up.
You have no idea what you're talking about.
You are what's wrong in the world.
You're what's wrong in the world.
-Just listen! -You absolutely are. Trust me.