[horn honks]
Oh, my God. Let me take this ----ing thing off.
- Hi. - Hi. What do you say?
I mean, look. COVID's been long. It's been lonely. [sighs]
I haven't been able to work out in months
- because of my surgery. - How did it go?
Great. I can breathe amazing.
And you don't have a big honker anymore either.
- Hi. - How are you?
- I'm good. - Good to see you.
- It's been a while. - Yeah.
We just realized we spent three months with you
and we haven't seen you in three months.
- That's correct. - Mario, Avery, and I
always have had this natural rhythm,
and we had the rhythm back again.
We were a family.
I do miss your cooking down in Florida.
Well, you just have to come to New York more often then.
- No, you come back down. - Is that an offer?
- You need an invite? - Yeah.
Uh...
♪
My little own avocado?
I got you everything organic.
You know, I used to love to go to the supermarket,
but now that it's a masked affair, I'm not into it.
I know we all need masks, and they can be fabulous,
but for me, it's like a fashion faux pas.
I just gave you an email to look up.
- Did they answer me? - Not yet.
Where's that eyelash stuff I gave you? I don't have lashes.
These are crazy times, but I'm a crazy lady,
so I feel right at home, actually.
Cray-cray is the way we roll.
Oh, I used to do this when I used to shave my...
pussy.
Oh, my God. I might do this tonight.
♪
Of all my vices,
being glamorous is one I'll never give up.
I'm sex positive and B.S. negative.
I may say the wrong thing,
but my intentions are always right.
I've had to work twice as hard for half as much,
but now I'm coming for everything.
Just like New York City,
Sonja Morgan never goes out of style.
♪
Come here, come here.
Come on.
You're my little therapy dog.
You know, sitting alone with yourself
during quarantine helps you make some changes.
And I did. I upgraded my apartment
and I got a new fur baby, Angel.
We adore her.
She's literally, like, my second child.
Sometimes I like her more than Kier. [laughs]
- [phone rings] - Hey.
- How are you? - Good.
How are you?
Good. I'm just walking around SoHo.
Okay, I'm just gonna put it out there.
I'm very, very nervous right now
and I have so many feelings going on.
- Oh, God. - As I've mentioned to you,
that I am starting my conversion process
- to Judaism. - Mm-hmm.
Today is Yom Kippur,
and it's just becoming very real to me
that I am taking these steps.
What else would you convert to?
- An unorganized religion? - No.
I've been thinking about converting to Judaism
for many, many years.
I mean, maybe I'm having my Madonna "Ray of Light" moment.
Then when COVID hit, I was having--
I would say the only period of my life
where I felt very disconnected from a god.
I quit drinking again,
and I got a very deep calling
to convert to Judaism.
Orthodox.
It's the real way. That's the way I'm doing it.
I mean, he did mention that I might have to--
I mean, I talked to him about, like, the way I dress.
Modern.
Oh. No, I don't wanna be more modest. [laughs]
I am attracted to the challenge.
Like, I think I'm attracted to all the rules
and the rituals and the prayers.
And, look, it's not like I'm gonna convert
and like, "That's it. I'm a Jew."
The conversion is the beginning for me.
- [phone rings] - Oh, God.
Wait. This is Dad.
Let me go and ask for forgiveness.
- Okay. - Bye. Love you.
Hi.
I just wanted to see you face-to-face
because I, like, wanna talk to you about something important.
Today is Yom Kippur.
I wanna start the year off fresh,
so I wanna ask you for your forgiveness
for really just not being a great daughter.
Well, you told me to go to hell the other day.
And what did you tell me first?
[bleep] off. [laughs]
[laughs]
And I am sorry. So, do you forgive me?
Dad, I can't--I have to go into the new year with forgive--
Like, you have to just, like, forgive me now or not.
I don't think it goes like, "We'll see what happens."
I'm not Jewish, Leah. I'm gonna do what I want.
[laughs]
Well, this is me.
I'm atoning now, Dad. This is--
Yeah. You're just asking for forgiveness,
but you have to do penance, you have to make up for--
Well, we don't do that in Judaism.
Well, we do that in Catholicism. [laughs]
Dad, you're not taking this serious.
I am taking it seriously.
Just because I'm converting to Judaism
doesn't mean I'm gonna be the perfect Jew.
You know, I'm not telling my rabbi this,
but this is about progress not perfection.
Me converting is the beginning of,
like, a very long spiritual journey.
Wait. Look at Angel.
She's so sweet.
She is.
[sighs]
♪
So guess what.
Guess who moved in the neighborhood.
Luann.
She lives, like, only a couple blocks from me.
Who would've thought that she and I are really friendly now?
[laughs]
♪
Sh--.
- [knocks on door] - Hello?
- Hey, honey, can I come in? - Yeah. Is the door open?
- Uh, yeah. Hi. - Hey.
Oh, my God.
You got the most gorgeous floors.
- [laughs] - I am so jealous.
Oh, my God. Look how chic c'est la vie you look. Awesome.
If I saw you walking down the street,
- I would look twice. - Wait. This is from Kingston?
This is from Kingston.
I sold my house, by the way.
- I know. Congrats. - I sold it.
Yeah. It's so good. Cha-ching, cha-ching.
Yeah. Cha-ching. [laughs]
So I'm happy about that 'cause I never got up there.
I'm always in the Hamptons, especially with COVID.
I mean--I just-- I never got there.
Weirdly enough, it kind of feels good
to be back in my old neighborhood.
I had a townhouse for many years
on the Upper East Side.
It was my stomping grounds.
So it's kind of nice to be back
and living around my girlfriends,
like, even Ramona.
And I love the way you decorated.
I love the colors.
- Thanks. - I'm so impressed.
Seriously, you're impressing me more and more
the more I get to know you.
[laughs] Well, life is surprising, isn't it?
I feel like I'm meeting Luann for the first time,
and I think she's just more in touch with herself.
I've never been closer to somebody.
Maybe it's--it's fate.
- Who would've thought? - I know. Who would've thought?
If I--if you said to me years ago...
- I would have said-- - ...that I'd be having
this conversation with you,
- I would say "Get out." - I'd say bullsh--
Now the bond has gotten stronger.
I'm actually really excited she's my neighbor.
I'm gonna give you some of this.
- Sure. - This is--this is something
I found three months ago in the Hamptons.
It's an alternative to drinking.
- Okay. - And Victoria and I
were looking for stuff,
because Victoria doesn't drink,
and I'm not drinking right now.
Yeah. Ava's not drinking.
I'm trying to cut it down, way down, too.
Right. So this is a non-alcoholic rosé.
Oh, my gosh. And it looks like rosé.
It's amazing, so...
Oh, my gosh. I can't wait to try this.
So we're gonna have a toast to...
Let's have a toast to our new budding friendship.
Well, for me, it's a toast to...
- Your new apartment? - ...not drinking.
Okay. All right. You know, congrats.
You know, because I literally think that at this point,
I'm allergic to alcohol because this summer,
I had a couple times where I didn't remember
- how I got home. - This summer?
- Yeah. And that's-- - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- And that's dangerous. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
And that's dangerous, Ramona.
- All right. Let's-- - So, right?
Let me hear that. Let me hear about it.
So it's not only it's dangerous,
- it scared me. It scared me. - What happened?
Tell me what happened.
Were you're at, like-- at a friend's home?
I was--no, I was out. I was out in Sag Harbor,
and, um, that's happened a couple of times.
And I said to myself, you know, what?
I have been drinking my whole life.
It's not--it's not worth it.
It's time to change it up,
- you know, for me. - Right.
To tell you the truth, I was so disgusted with myself.
Really? At this age?
You're not gonna remem--No.
This is not happening ever again.
- Oh, I like it. - Isn't it amazing?
Last year, I was trying to figure out
when I was gonna drink again.
Now there's something that clicked.
I'm okay without drinking.
- Little pasta with shrimp. - Sure.
- Right? This looks good. - Yeah, it looks great.
Have you heard from Sonja at all?
I haven't seen her at all.
I'm a little upset with how
she's just been distancing herself from me.
It just doesn't make sense.
Not just from you, from everybody.
- Well, you know-- - Texting her,
- calling, nothing. - Texting her, calling her.
She doesn't return calls. She doesn't return texts.
It's like, you know, I worry about her.
I'm like, what the hell is going on, you know.
And then I saw her daughter.
I was at, um, Gitano downtown, like, a couple months ago,
asked her, I said, "Where's your mom?" You know.
She said, "You know what, Luann?
She doesn't give me the time of day. She's always busy."
So that's not like Sonja not to show up for her daughter.
- She does everything for her. - No, I know.
What the hell is going on with her?
When Sonja goes MIA,
it means something is going on with her psychologically,
and when she's feeling really vulnerable,
she wants to hide because she doesn't want us to know.
It's almost like she's embarrassed.
But we're her friends. We're there for her.
Wait. So you're not gonna believe this.
So I'm looking for an apartment, right?
And I see this.
- I love it. - Right?
I walk in. I'm like, the ceilings, everything.
- Everything's fabulous. - It looks amazing.
I'm like, I'll take it, right?
The view is great, whatever.
And your furniture, it's perfect.
Well, guess what. Come with me.
No, what are you gonna show me?
I don't know if I'm ready for this.
So I'm standing here. I'm literally waiting
- for the movers to walk in. - Right.
And I look and I go,
- Oh, my--no! - [laughs]
No! No!
- It's Tom terrace! - No way!
Holy sh--.
Oh, you're gonna need binoculars.
Oh, my God!
You're gonna need a telescope.
Can you believe it?
And it's like-- it's like right in my view.
Come on.
I was in shock.
I'm in shock.
The good news is I know when he's in town
because the lights are on or they're not.
So now I know the light's on,
uh, I won't be going to the Regency.
Hey, Tom. See you later.
[laughs]
Coming up...
So we're gonna turn this on. [screams]
What happened?
Wait. I brought you this.
This is a resting bitch face mask.
I'll sleep with a, um, resting bitch face.
[laughs]
♪
- Hi. - Hey, babe.
How are you?
I'm good, baby. You're all coordinated.
- Mm-hmm. - Mwah!
So good to see you.
- I like your mask. - Thank you, baby.
It's--no, it's, like, I can't.
- How's your week going? - It's good.
- Yeah? It's not bad. - Busy?
Busy. How was your date?
That's what I really wanna know.
- You want the tea? - Um, yes.
Girl, you can't see my big obnoxious smile
under here, but--
I--I'm sure that that's what's going on.
Allen's great. He's great. He's great. We had fun.
We just grabbed dinner, like, on the Upper West Side.
Nice.
Me and Eboni met recently through mutual friends,
and we live in the same neighborhood.
Our dogs love each other.
We have a lot in common.
The difference is Eboni's really good
at dating rich men.
- [groans] - Okay.
It's like taking the-- your bra off after--
Except for when I take the bra off, girl,
it ain't never coming back on.
- [laughs] - I'm sorry.
[laughs] I can't stand this.
All right. I brought you this.
This is a resting bitch face mask.
Oh, my God.
I'll get you a leopard one, too, but--
Yeah, I want the leopard one. This is cute.
Well, I do believe in a resting bitch face job.
It's how you keep the lines away.
[laughs] I know. Exactly.
That's why, yeah, I try not to smile--
I sleep with a, um, resting bitch face.
- I'm just kidding. - [laughs]
Oh, my God.
Eboni is pretty much the epitome of Black Girl Magic.
She is a lawyer. She's an AKA.
She's a broadcaster.
She took on the president,
and she does this all while looking hot as [bleep]
wearing Louis Vuittons.
What's up with your world?
Any, uh, special gentlemen callers?
Um... [laughs]
That's what I like to call 'em.
I love me a gentleman caller girl.
I mean, I'm still, kind of, like,
enmeshed a little with this guy, pita chip,
but it's so--
Wait, pita chip?
Yeah. I call him pita chip.
It's just the whole thing.
He owns a ----ing pita place
that sells pitas to everybody in New York.
I took a picture of myself nude
with a pita here.
- I sent it to him. - Okay.
And then he sent it to a friend,
but he sent it to me.
He's cool. We're gonna be friends no matter what.
And I think that's the thing is like
I keep going back to him, but he's kind of a [bleep] boy
- at the same time. - Okay. But I'm gonna ask you--
And not to psychoanalyze, but I'm curious.
Leah, are you ready to fall in love?
Like, could--is that doable for you right now?
Yes. I am.
I'm ready. Like, I am ready.
Like, it doesn't mean like I'm...
- Pressed? - You're not pressed.
I'm not pressed. I'm good.
Girl, bitch, you're never pressed.
- Thank you. - But... [laughs]
- I know. - But I hear you,
because I had to get to that place of intention.
I'll be honest. That was one of the reasons
it took me so long to leave my last relationship,
because I really just didn't wanna start over.
- Yeah. - You know? You know.
It's like, ugh, who wants to, like, go through all that?
I hate the thought of, like, having to take a sh--
when you're over the guy's house
- for the weekend. - You know what's so funny?
I'll get a colonic beforehand,
so I don't have to go to the bathroom.
I don't give a [bleep]. I'll take a--
I'll--it could be a first date.
And if we--
When you have to go, you have to go.
Because you fed me. We went to dinner, didn't we?
I broke up with a guy for farting in front of me.
Girl. Oh, my God.
- I know. - You're a mess.
I am.
It's the best kind of mess.
- [laughs] - But I'm serious.
No. I will take a doo-doo.
I don't care about that at all.
Because I'm a human being, bitch. I ate.
♪
[dog barking]
Oh, Marley, it's not always about you, darling.
Marley is like my lovers. He wants food and they want sex.
That's it. One line.
You know, I'm having a brunch here.
- In a couple of days. - Yeah.
I'm inviting all the girls. I haven't seen them,
'cause the girls can be a little judgmental.
They come in, you know. They say. "Grey Gardens,
a little itty feel there."
You know, I'm not gonna lie.
I like quarantine. I like to be alone,
and it did give me time to be a little bit more
in touch with myself and center.
I had to move back here because I rented the apartment
while this was rented,
but when the pandemic struck,
forget it. This wasn't rented or sold.
I had to move back here.
If no one's renting the townhouse,
I can't be shelling out cash every month
to rent my little pied-a-terre in Columbus Circle.
And all my clothes are in storage.
So I'm wearing my pajamas every day
like everybody else under a pandemic.
Well, you look chic doing it.
But at least there's Sonja Morgan.
I am a guest in my own house until this gets rented or sold.
First person who comes in here
and says, "You want $10 for this,
I'll give you seven," Great! I'm out of here.
It's all about taking care of me now.
- Yes, it's your time. - Not my house.
So I want a bubble bath now.
I'm glad I took the five months
to take some time for myself
and reevaluate what's important to me.
All right. Let me show you how to do my tub.
Why can't you do this?
I don't know.
This one.
So we're gonna turn this on. [screams]
Oh, my--What happened?
I don't even know how to do this either.
Oh, God. And it's hot water.
- Okay. Here. - Here.
Yeah. Why are we using this?
I'm training you how to do it.
You're getting a master's,
so you need to have to do real life things.
Yes. You're right.
- I'm learning so much. - It's just...
This is my master's right here.
There is something magical about my internship
because you can't learn what I know in the classroom.
Look at what's coming out here.
No, no. You have to put it on the--
Oh, God. You don't even know that?
What are you saying?
How to load a dishwasher.
How to garden.
Then there's the bubble bath.
These are not things you're gonna learn...
at Wharton.
- Thanks. - Okay.
- All right. - This has to be here.
I didn't even get it. Oh, no. I look very stressed.
Well, that's why I need more me time.
Can you put this here?
- I don't know. - Ay-yiyi.
I mean, that's...
You might not need to just hold this up.
Is that Leah?
Leah.
You're in the tub?
She's in the tub.
You and I are soul sisters.
I'm calling you because
Thursday is the brunch I told you about.
Okay. So bring your friend Eboni.
I'm looking forward to meeting her.
I'll let the other girls know you're bringing somebody.
All right.
Okay. I can't wait to have you.
Bye.
Coming up...
You've been hanging out with Harry Dubin.
You guys have been sucking face all over New York City.
Why does everyone start in my life
- and end up in your bed? - Oh, sh--.
No one's in my bed, baby.
♪
[knock on door]
I don't know you.
[chuckles]
Hey, sis.
- Come on in. - How are you?
That pink Hermes bracelet looks fabulous.
- Oh, no. - Yeah.
- Okay. So it's been a day. - Mm-hmm.
I've been going since 9:15
and I have "REVOLT Black News."
I had "Holding Court" stuff.
So I need this drink. I've earned it.
- I don't know about you. - Okay. Yes. Mm-hmm.
So I'm gonna let you pick.
- You want rosé? - Yes.
Okay.
I wear many hats professionally.
I am a lawyer by trade,
but I also work as a broadcaster.
I currently host a show called "REVOLT Black News."
And some positive news.
California Governor Gavin Newsom,
he's forming a task force to research reparations
for the descendants of American slaves.
I also just launched a podcast
called "Holding Court with Eboni K. Williams."
I think I'm the definition of a multi-hyphenate.
So anyways, you know, I love Harlem.
- You know I'm coming back. - To what? To visit me?
No, sis. I'm gonna buy actually.
You--I remember you said you were looking like
at some Brownstones or something.
Well, I was looking at Brownstones.
But that was a couple of years ago.
That was a couple of years ago.
And I told you what happened, child.
I tried-- I went to the bank.
Oh.
They had some news.
I thought I was balling,
and then I forgot to check that FICO bitch.
Hmm.
And then they were like, "No one's gonna give you a loan.
- Like, no one." - Yeah.
"Like, not even your mama is gonna give you
a mortgage with this FICO."
Because it was like when I made that choice, right?
You know, I was practicing. Everything was great.
And then I wanted to do this broadcast sh--.
I always wanted to be an attorney,
so I started practicing law at 23.
Was at a big firm. Didn't like that.
Went to be a public defender. Loved it.
But at some point in my legal career,
it became clear that there was another level.
I decided I needed a bigger--
a bigger microphone, a bigger stage,
more amplification.
And I wanted to make it happen, and I was like,
"I'm gonna bet on myself." and I basically put every dollar,
every cent I had into pursuing that.
A lot of things like bills fell through the wayside.
I made some decisions that in retrospect were prob--
they were irresponsible.
Girl, the repo man was... [laughs]
- [knocking] - Yeah.
"Ma'am, where is your 3 Series?
Right now."
Honey, I was like dodging,
trying to park different places
so they wouldn't find it.
They found that damn car. They repossessed it.
And so I will never make those choices again.
And that was all on your credit?
- And it was all on my credit. - Yeah.
So I took about a year and a half.
- You know, it's like-- - Yeah.
Poor, fair, good, excellent.
- Now, the bitch is excellent. - Oh.
[laughs]
- Excellent. - But I was doing my thing.
But now, it's like "bitch is on."
- Yeah. Okay. - Like, I'm on.
It worked out for me, but it almost didn't,
and so I will never take that for granted.
But I'm so glad I bet on myself.
And you know what? I always will
because I'm a sure thing.
So listen. I'm buying a one-bedroom.
Currently, we just closed contract.
- Oh, you did? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- This thing is going fast. - Fast. And that's why I'm ready
to get the [bleep] out of this apartment, to be honest.
Yep. And that's we'll do.
- That's we'll--we'll do. - Yes.
So you're coming to help pack.
- Mm-hmm. And take some stuff. - Not these.
- [laughs] - They're coming--
- They're coming to Harlem. - These glasses are coming?
These glasses are going to Harlem.
♪
Here we go.
I'm going down to see the setup.
Just--I really-- I don't like the runner.
But it's all set up.
I mean, the thing is we want something long.
- I just-- - You do?
I have an affliction to runners.
I just--I grew up with a family
of people who had runners and plastic over the rug,
- plastic on the pouch. - This looks amazing.
This looks amazing.
Yeah, and I never take the tags off anything
in case I don't keep it.
Hey, Lu. It's Ramona. How are you?
Yeah, me too. I kind of feel like
getting dressed up and I googled
that you can wear white all year round.
[laughs]
I will text you when I'm getting into the car.
I know. I love it.
And lucky me.
- How are you feeling? - I'm so excited actually.
You know what? This is gonna be so fun, you know.
I just hope they behave themselves.
I feel--Like, do you think they've met anyone
like me before, like, in person?
- A Black person? - No. Like--
Because actually, no, I don't think they have.
A Black person like me.
The Upper East Side, you know,
it's not really my stomping ground.
But, child, whatever, you know, this serves everywhere.
Did they ask questions? Like, were they like,
- what is she like? - Well, I only really talked
to Sonja about it. But she didn't ask too much.
- Okay. - Like, she was kind of, like,
- in her own world. Yeah. - To see and believe it.
I'm not new to this way of life.
I've seen Lu, like, on the charity circuit
for years in New York. You know, I remember
going to see her at Joe Arends' house years ago
for a great charity event.
So I totally could vibe with it.
I shouldn't even be talking about them generally.
It's just, like, more like Ramona.
Like, she's in a lot of messed-up stuff with me.
She also promised me that she's not gonna, like,
tell me, like, what to say and do anymore.
When was the last time you saw Ramona actually?
- A couple months ago. - Okay.
- Yeah. - And it was like cool-ish?
You know, it was-- it was not cool.
I'm not on bipolar medication.
- Well, how would I know that? - You know--
You know it's gonna end up on the ----ing show,
and that's why you did it.
Well, and then we kind of made peace.
Part of Leah reminds me of myself.
She beats to her own drummer,
and I respect that so much.
Look, I mean, I am willing to move forward.
More important, though, I hope the food is very good.
[laughs]
- I'm just kidding. - I think it will be.
I don't miss no meals.
- Same. - No, girl.
It's a serious situation would be the food.
Coming up...
Hi, Sonja.
I'll be right in, Leah. It's funky stone.
You have to get the dirt off the top
but not take the dirt from the cracks.
Is this for real right now?
♪
- All right. - The infamous townhouse.
- Oh, my God. - My dress didn't open
your hoo-ha. Girl, I got you, girl.
No hoo-ha moments. No Britney moments.
I'm trying to cover the pond.
I just cleaned the pond.
And I'm just trying to cover the stuff.
- Yeah. - The things that have probably
gone on in this place.
- If these walls could talk? - And--yeah,
if these walls could talk.
Oh, my gosh.
Here we are.
It looks like a normal really nice
Upper East Side townhouse.
I mean, maybe if I, like, brought in a black light with me
and, like, put it up to the walls and the carpet,
I might not even wanna walk into the place,
but, you know, I'm happy to be here.
I just cleaned this garden twice. Okay.
Hi, Sonja.
- Hi. - Hi.
I'll be right in, Leah. Let me just do the stone
because nobody knows how to do this.
Do you need any help, Sonja?
This is like a specialized thing I'm doing.
It's funky stone.
You have to get the dirt off the top
but not take the dirt from the cracks.
Is this for real right now?
- Like, no, I'm, like, serious. - Yes.
This is for real? Okay.
One thing about me is I am on Sonja time.
I am never ready personally when the guests arrive,
but everything is ready for the guests, let's say.
- Okay. Hi. - Hi.
- How are you? - How are you?
You look gorg.
Every morning I sit there and go, "Oh, don't worry.
I have the antibodies." Is that like the--
- That's the new thing. - I actually do have
- the antibodies. - She actually does.
No, no, no. I really do.
Like, I got sick, so I got the antibodies.
You're so tiny. I didn't realize.
Oh, my gosh. Everybody looks great.
I'm not sure about Ramona and any of that story.
Does she have the antibodies?
Did she give the blood? Who knows?
You also lied about donating your blood
- which is disgusting. - You know what? Just stop.
- Just stop. - Did you donate your blood?
- Yes, I did. - Sonja,
- she didn't give the blood. - Okay.
I was--I instinctively didn't believe that
because I know she would've posted it.
She would've Instagrammed it.
She Instagrams every little thing she does.
I got a new machine for coffee, and it's taking me
a half an hour to figure out how to work it.
I figured it out. I got my tea.
We'd see the whole bag of blood that she donated
and her passing out
or whatever would ensue after doing it.
This is an enchanted garden.
It really is. It's like you read about
- in the school books. - I'll just try to be PC.
- But if you notice... - Yeah.
...my fish are every color.
I have black, white, yellow.
You know what? You look gorgeous.
- Black and orange. - I see black. Yeah,
biracial fish. Yeah.
Body positivity. You have larger fish.
Yep. The skinny ones, little ones.
- Skinny ones. - Everything.
You better be the queen of fish diversity, bitch.
- This is... - [laughs]
I feel Sonja's trying to connect
on the racial diversity element of the moment,
but I think the fish effort is a--is a bit lame.
I give her two points for trying.
So something just hit me.
I'm like the Debbie Downer right now 'cause...
- No. - ...I like to keep it simple
and, you know, this is an asset.
You're not Debbie Downer.
No, it is--it is-- Like, this is an asset,
but, you know, the money comes in,
the money goes out
- to support a house like this. - Sure.
And I just had a big deal go south.
I just can't seem to catch a break.
Are you talking about Century 21?
- Yeah. - And Leah was there for me.
Finally I get this Century 21 situation,
where I found a purpose and having my clothes
in a wonderful retail operation.
Century 21 is very, very proud
to do this collaboration with Sonja Morgan.
[cheers and applause]
Boom. Done.
I feel like the rug has been pulled out
from under me again.
I'm doing well online,
but we had big losses up front from the sewing machines
and these fabulous luxury fabrics and all that up front.
- Immediately-- - Are you 50/50 partners?
I'm 54%, and it's my name, my brand.
Oh, so you control-- you control this partnership.
But if you're not making money, I'm not making money.
- That's the problem. - Are you looking
- at your own books, Sonja? - Yeah, I was gonna say,
- do you trust him? - Oh, I went to see the books.
These are the bottom lines.
Yeah. Right.
Then we started-- this is when you told me
we started to see a little something.
- Oh, that was again a loss? - Yes.
That's from the fashion show. I got the tax funds,
but I didn't get the books.
You need the books. You need to see the books.
If you're 54% partnership,
technically, you're controlling partnership status
and you need to see your books.
Ooh, I'm seeing the lawyer coming out
- of that cleavage right there. - I'm sorry. I mean,
not to get all badass, but, you know...
- Get all badass. - You gotta be a boss.
Free legal advice? You're talking to somebody
that just had 35 lawyers.
I could always use one in the squad.
Wait. What kind of lawyer are you?
- Every kind. - That's like you--
Now that we have a lawyer in the group,
maybe we could find a plastic surgeon.
So do you feel you want, uh, children someday
- or you don't know or-- - Someday, bitch.
I'm old. But babies, yes.
You do? See, I never knew.
I was a total selfish bitch.
I was on the Oprah track. I'm gonna be boss of the universe.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I don't have time for no baby slowing me down.
- Mm-hmm. - And actually no man either.
- Right. - But--Right?
No, I'm very serious. So that was my plan.
I met my now ex-fiance.
He had three children when we dated.
It was basically like I realized first of all
there is nothing-- I'm not telling y'all
anything you don't know-- There is nothing like that
- parental-child relationship. - Mm-hmm.
It's just a different kind of love.
I do know that to build this legacy
and this beautiful family, that is going to cost something.
Right? That's going to mean
maybe slowing down a little bit of my goals
and ambitions to dominate the world.
You have an ex-fiancé now?
I was with him for three and a half years, Sonja.
He's been there, done that.
His kids are almost at the--
Two of them are in college. One's 13.
Just--We didn't want the same things out of life.
- Yeah. - Literally,
January of this year I was planning a wedding,
but COVID made us tell the truth.
You know, he didn't wanna have another baby.
He said he did 'cause he wanted me.
He didn't really wanna be a dad again.
- You know, his kids are-- - Four. Number four is a lot.
- Number four and starting over. - A guy starts sweating bullets
about my ex when we were married.
- 'Cause he had grown children. - I was pregnant
with a second kid, and he was already, what,
- in his 70s. - Right.
And he already had two boys,
and he was, like, excited,
but he was really sweating it.
He was like how-- You know, I don't care
- how much money you have. - Yeah.
If you're gonna have to start spending more money
- for another 25 years... - Yeah.
...that's a lot of money.
Coming up...
We missed you all summer.
You didn't visit me or Lu this summer.
- What the heck happened to you? - No, you did not.
- We were talking. - She's a new friend.
We're your oldest friends in the world.
- Right here, Ramona. - [laughs]
I was following the handsome guy down there.
- Like, which was down there. - Of course you were.
♪
- Ooh, food. Yummy. - Oh, wow. It looks good.
Hi.
Hey, girls.
Did you take the caviar, Ramona?
How did you know? She knows me so well.
- Hey, how are you? - Hi. You're so pretty.
- I love your hair. - Thank you. So do you.
Wow, Ramona. You look beautiful, Ramona.
You're elegant. I wore heels though.
How's my favorite, Leah? How you doing?
Hi, gorgeous. You look incredible.
Thank you. So do you. Oh, we went with the pink, huh?
Well, you encouraged me.
So which color do you like the best?
No?
After you explained everything, I said,
"Let me--let me channel my inner Lu."
You look great. Thank you.
I don't know Eboni well.
I just know her socially and in passing,
but I've always liked her and thought she was beautiful.
Hi, Ramona. Eboni.
Hi, Eboni. I heard such wonderful things about you.
She has that, what we say in French,
je ne sais quoi.
Lu, Lu. Who's new on the scene?
I have, you know, my trainer friend in the Hamptons.
Oh, yeah. I met him.
- He's cool. - He's so cool.
- Yeah, he's cool. - He's gorgeous. He's stunning.
And he's just a healthy guy, you know. He's--
- He's like a big--yeah. - He's six-six.
- You always go for the locals. - Six-six?
Yeah, he's South African, and he used to be--
He used to play rugby for England.
- Oh, wow. - So crazy.
- So you guys are like-- - So we just see each other.
We're friends and, you know, sometimes...
- A little more. - ...play kissy-kissy,
- you know. - Nothing wrong with that.
Sometimes they have a little cardio.
Kissy-kissy. [laughs]
You know, I put in the universe basically
that I want tall, blond, and blue eyes,
and, um, poof, he appeared.
On a dating app no less. I mean, I manifest these things.
So you got a new boyfriend Leah was telling me.
- Oh, yeah, honey. - Boy, do you rebound fast.
Wait a sec. How do you find a boyfriend
during COVID? I need some lessons.
So he was my friend. I had friendzoned him
- for a year. I met him-- - But you don't get
enough action. Stop.
She doesn't even remember her boyfriend's name.
Let's go to yours.
'Cause they're not boyfriends. They're not boyfriends.
- What are they? - Just friends.
Friends with benefits or they're just friends?
No. You do that. I don't do that.
You've been hanging out with Harry Dubin.
- I've been seeing, uh-- - Oh, Lord.
you guys have been sucking face all over New York City.
Yeah. Gross.
Well, sometimes, you know, he gets a little frisky,
- you know-- - Oh, don't blame it all on him.
Seriously, Leah?
You're getting that desperate to pick on me?
You have to throw out Harry? You're such a lose.
- We're just friends. - Not according to Sonja.
I mean, don't ask me. I got married after two weeks
- to my first husband. - She just likes to be funny.
And she lies. Perfect.
Take the average.
Ramona has to stop denying.
Where there's smoke, there's fire,
and where there's sucking face, as they say,
there is hiding the salami.
You're wrong. You don't even know me.
Okay. Tell her when you have sex.
She says you don't know her.
Why does everyone start in my life
and end up in your bed?
- I mean, [bleep]. - No one's in my bed, baby.
Y'all got some different kind of friendships
than I'm used to.
Wait a second. How did it jump to your dating?
- We wanna hear the other side. - Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
- I apologize. - Let's get back to this.
All right. So this is a lovely gentleman
who was a friend for a year.
Wow. Love when that happens.
And he just was talking about social justice
and the kneeling in the NFL,
which, you know, I'm, like, a big sports fan.
He's involved in sports, right?
Yeah, he's a minority owner of a football team.
Well, he can maybe introduce me to some football players.
- So I met him--No, Leah. - I know.
You should be dating the guy that owns the team.
- But the ones that-- - No, yes, yeah.
I'm working on Leah. You gotta get away
from the talent, Leah, into the bosses.
Hey, whatever makes her happy. She's young.
She has her whole life ahead of her.
But that doesn't make her happy, Ramona. That's the problem.
- Anyway, um-- - Yeah, you're right.
She needs to be happier and less hater.
Set your goals here, baby.
So with the new guy who's wonderful.
- So adoring. - How many months?
It's like a couple-- Two months. Two months in.
Wait, wait, wait. Does the new guy have kids?
Yeah, but they're grown. They're--they're almost 30.
- Okay. - They're all almost 30.
- How many are all? - Three.
- Another three with this one? - Yeah,
- but they're 29, 27, and 26. - They're adults.
They're adults. They have kids of their own.
You are getting fully loaded guys.
I mean, their dad's just loaded.
- They are loaded with sperm. - Oh, with a lot of life
- and-- - [Leah laughs]
So you'll get pregnant right away with this guy.
You're gonna get pregnant right away with this guy.
I hope so. You never know, though.
- Are you on birth control? - Yes.
Um, maybe you should go off if you really wanna--
No, I don't wanna trap him.
No, we don't wanna trap him.
But if you're, you know--
Are you sure, Sonja?
[laughs] Look at Ramona.
Can we get up and move around? Let's go in.
Yeah, let's go. How good are the pancakes?
- They're caramel. - Let's stay a second.
I wanna talk to you about something.
So what's up?
No, I just wondered because, you know,
I haven't been drinking.
- So it's just-- - How long?
Well, during COVID,
I was kind of going back and forth.
You know, 'cause you know how it goes.
- I can do this. - Right.
I can control this part of my life.
But I'm realizing now I just really can't.
- Yeah. - I really can't.
It's a scary thing, you know,
and I'm struggling with it, and I just wanted to know
where your head's at because I feel like
if you're a wingman for me 'cause I know
you told me that you're not drinking right now.
- Yeah, I haven't had anything. - So and I'm not expecting you
to say, "Oh, sign up as my sponsor and not drink."
Oh, my God, obviously.
I haven't drank since March 31st.
- Boom. - Yeah, and like, you know,
I'm just, uh, I have a reference point
because I didn't drink for so many years.
That I think it was, like, a little bit, like--
It wasn't, like, me stopping for the first time
all over again. You know what I mean? It was like--
You didn't drink for nine years.
Right, exactly. So I went back
kind of easily got back into the swing of things.
Like, okay, and it just, like, so much easier.
Like, I'm just so much more, like,
this is how it's supposed to be for me.
- Do you know what I mean? - It's great,
because, you know, it's really hard
and very nerve-racking
to be around everybody, and, you know,
especially how this group gets. You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, I know. - They're crazy.
Aah!
It's horrible!
You couldn't hold it until we got out?
Leah, Leah, Leah.
Whoo! Cameras down. We're done.
I can be around it. I just feel like
it would be good for me to know that I have...
- Yeah. - ...a wingman.
- I'm here. - You know what I mean?
- Absolutely. - There's nobody that likes
- to party more than me. - Come on inside.
We have cheese and dessert.
Will it be a challenge to be around the girls
and not drink? Sure.
It's gonna be different than quarantining,
but I'm ready.
- All right. Oh, God. - Oh, my God.
- Oh, the desserts. - Oh, I love this right here.
- Oh, that's a mille-feuille. - I love this.
I can't take credit for any of these graces.
The food, it's just beautiful.
Well, you paid for it, so you can take some--
take some credit.
Sonja, you never fail of being a gracious hostess.
- Thank you. - Always.
Yeah, we missed you all summer.
You didn't visit me or Lu this summer.
- What the heck happened to you? - No, you did not.
You were MIA, girl.
- You're talking about-- - We talked a little.
- We were talking. - She's a new friend.
We're your oldest friends in the world.
Are you talking about October, November,
- December? - Uh, we're talking about, uh--
January, February, March, April, May,
- June, July, August. - That's when I was--
I was alone. I was in the desert,
just walking around alone, like alone every day,
alone in my little room.
No, it's not about that. It's about--
We're your besties, and we haven't heard from you.
Coming up...
You know what? I felt an immediate bond with you,
and I don't really feel that from many people.
- Just easy. It felt very easy. - Yeah.
You said that to me when I first met you, too.
Ooh.
It's not about that.
We're your besties, and we haven't heard from you.
No, and Lu would say, "Have you heard from Sonja?"
I go, "No. Have you heard from Sonja?"
She goes "No." Then I go, "What's going on?"
Because we at least usually one of us hear from you and--
Century 21 just really--
It shocked me. You know, I just, like--
What rug is gonna be pulled out next, you know.
Yeah, but we hadn't heard from you in six months
previous to that. Eight months.
You don't know really what's going on.
But I don't like to bother you guys.
I don't like to bother you guys.
Right now Sonja is not in a good position.
Century 21. We had a business.
The townhouse, we thought that was gone.
This is gonna weigh very heavy on her psychologically,
and I do not want her to spiral downward because of it.
- I don't like-- - Let's have a getaway.
Let's go--let's go-- Why don't you come out
to the Hamptons as you have not graced us
with your company for I don't know how long.
We should all, like, go to the Hamptons.
I'd love to get out of the city.
And, Eboni, you come, too.
I'm flattered that you guys would include me.
Well, you know what I felt that immediate bond with you,
and I don't really feel that with many people
and just somehow it's like-- it's like,
- you've been here forever. - Easy. It felt very easy.
- Yeah, yeah, natural. - Yeah. Very natural.
You said that to me when I first met you, too.
Ooh.
- Well, I agree. - Thank you.
I've already felt the Singer stinger last year,
and I am gonna do my damn best
to make sure that Eboni doesn't have to go through
- what I went through. - So are we gonna
- all stay together? - Yeah.
You have to come to my house also.
You haven't seen my house out there.
I have a beautiful house--
It's in Sag Harbor. I know it's beautiful.
Well, Sag Harbor is my favorite
in the whole Hamptons. You know this.
- So you know Sag Harbor. - Well, it's a very spiritual
connection for me because, um,
Sag Harbor was really the first community
on Long Island and of the big major resort towns
that allowed Black people to own property,
waterfront property,
- during that era. - What year was that?
This was like the 1940s.
But the fact that Black people could own waterfront property
not hardly a generation or so after slavery, it's remarkable.
So Sag Harbor's very special to me.
- I never heard that before. - Yeah.
- I never heard that either. - Yeah.
This is where I've been for the last nine months during COVID.
- Right. - Ramona's been in Florida
- and, you know, there. - Yeah.
But anyway, you know, typically, we do like
- a trip to the Hamptons, so... - Yeah.
You know, this is kind of, like, our girls bonding moment,
which sometimes works out and sometimes it doesn't.
- [bleep] - People. Stop.
- Stop it. Stop it. - Shut the [bleep] up.
What's wrong with you?
- Yes, I'm excited. - Really,
seriously I've heard nice things about you,
but you're actually nicer than they said.
- I never said that. - You got it all wrong.
Then you need to clean your ears out and listen.
Leah, I don't know. That pink kind of clashes
with the red and black, but okay.
What am I supposed to wear? A black bag with it?
- That's too obvious. - Can you wait
till she leaves to talk sh--?
- Okay. - You're not gonna treat me
like I'm in the ----ing wrong.
I don't need to hear it. I don't need to hear it.
I'm not talking sh--. I love the bag.
I love you. I love your outfit.
I'm just-- I'm not sure I love it.
Oh, my God.
- Welcome to the club. - I know. Right?
What happened to talking behind people's back?
No, it's a new day, honey, just in their face.
[laughs]
Three, two, one!
[screaming]
This season on "The Real Housewives of New York City"...
[chanting] Go, Leah! Go, Leah!
She's getting more action than a toilet seat.
You can tell this is the type of walker when I get older.
Whoo!
- We look so hot. - We actually look really hot.
Welcome to Harlem.
I like Eboni a lot.
- [laughter] - Ahh!
Ooh, you could twerk.
I'm not Toni Morrison in this bitch.
I can't be teaching y'all everything.
- Dianna. - No, I'm Michelle.
I get my help wrong.
She says she get her help wrong?
The "help" comment was a little triggering for me.
Here's to hospitality assistance.
I have more education, frankly,
than anybody at this table.
Don't come into my house and tell me
I don't have an education.
I can leave your house, Lu.
Oh, my God. My ears are hurting.
- Meet Garth. - No wonder Luann's
so ----ing happy.
Garth, Garth, Garth.
- It's always Garth. - Hey, Garth.
Oh, Jesus. He picks up on the first ring.
- All right. Here we are. - Welcome to Salem, bitches.
- [thunder rumbles] - [screams]
As [bleep] as 2020 is, it's better than ----ing 1692.
It's not JP Morgan!
Stop the drinking. Get real.
I can't be around this.
Stop! Stop!
[knock on door]
- You're taking it too far. - Don't you tell me!
[glass shatters]
Don't overstep your boundaries.
I will step wherever the [bleep] I want to.
- You're preaching. - That's gaslighting.
- You're gaslighting me. - Why do you have to be
in everyone's business like a Karen?
Do you understand what I'm saying?
- Not really. - He was my guy.
- He was never your guy. - Yes, he was.
I know a couple of my other guys have been with you.
If you don't wanna be here and listen,
get the [bleep] out.
What happened to class, elegance?
His dick is bigger than his balls.
That's honestly what we really need.
Okay, here we go, Leah. Here we go.
Damn, girl!
Yes! Yes!
Elegance and class-- where did it all go?
In with the love.
[cheers]
You're a ----ing ho. You're a ho.
You're a ho. You're a ho.
Biggest hos ever.
Wow.