Previously on the Real
Housewives of New York City...
Have you talked to Mom
about Grandma?
You have a nice relationship.
And then....
- Sorry.
- I was in the middle
of a conversation. Can you
come back in five minutes?
I'm just, like,
an open wound right now.
Oh, that's interesting.
So Eboni comes in
and you're nice to her?
Yeah, 'cause I was having a
private conversation with Luann.
You're honestly
such a freaking bitch.
It's insane.
Sorry if I don't seem my--
I'm struggling
with the grandmother stuff.
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah. Don't apologize.
So if I seem, like, weird,
that is why.
Meet Garth.
Oh, no wonder Luann
is so ----ing happy.
- Hi, Garth.
- Garth again.
- That Garth is driving me nuts!
- Yes!
That was my bald guy
she married, by the way.
He was never your guy. I'm tired
of your bullsh--, Sonja, OK?
- He was my bald guy!
- Just be happy for me
- once in a while.
- Why don't you
- come up this weekend with us?
- Maybe I could swing
a couple days
out in the Hamptons!
You said that Luann
had done hard drugs
when you guys
were in St. Barts.
It was about my experience.
- Who was the guest?
- It was Carol.
- Oh, bitch.
- If it bothered you
in any way, I really
apologize to you about it.
Let's make some new memories.
Conversation is getting
a little crazy in there.
I feel like if a guy doesn't eat
your ass he's not a real man.
Who talks about, like--
okay, it's just not me.
Your dick is smaller
than your balls!
Right!
It's a whole different
ball game!
[roaring laughter]
I mean, we're not supposed
to look at it.
We're supposed to turn
the lights off and jump on.
[laughter]
I'll get on top for,
like, 30 seconds.
And I'm, like, "okay..."
And I'm saying, "Ah!"
No, I had to have boyfriends
that had talks with me.
Like, okay, after you come,
like, you can't just stop.
- And I'm, like, "all right."
- Why?
You came back at the wrong time.
- Exactly.
- Fine, I'll go back.
Yeah, go back,
get a shot for courage.
- Oh, Ramona, stop!
- Oh, Ramona!
[overlapping conversations]
I think Leah doesn't
have a lot to talk about
other than sex.
It's pretty sad, isn't it?
Miss Eboni, do you need
a little refill? My Caymus?
This is delicious.
The best way to handle Leah
is just try
to change the subject.
After all, I am the host.
I set the tone of the weekend.
- We had a huge day yesterday.
- Huge day.
She got totally upset.
- Her Grandma's dying.
- Right.
And then she had
an altercation with me.
But whatever, it doesn't matter.
- Sh-- happened.
- It was an altercation.
I kind of feel like that's juicy
and I want to hear more--
No, we're not. No!
Oh, my God! We may hear it
next week on your podcast!
No, we're going forward!
Okay, okay, go on.
And then
they had an altercation.
The thing is,
Ramona pushes buttons and gets--
that is her special talent
and that's why me and Sonja
- both freaking went psycho.
- She's a button-pusher.
- Yes!
- We fight like crazy
but then we make up like crazy.
It's a sisterhood!
These two
were going to the death!
And then five minutes later...
Love.
That's good though.
That's very good.
It's a sisterhood,
but it could be like you're...
Fight for your ----ing life.
[overlapping conversation]
It's very Biggie-Pac, Heather.
- Exactly!
- We can pop!
How'd you say that?
Pac! Tupac Shakur.
"We can Two Pac?" No, we can
pac off. What'd you say?
- No, no! No!
- Pop off!
[laughter]
- She get it wrong?
- She got it wrong!
Oh, she got it wrong.
But can I tell you
something again?
- Yes.
- Again.
- Yeah.
- Again.
What makes me uncomfortable?
- Talking about sex?
- Yes.
So you're asking me to not
to talk about sex again?
- Why?
- I'm just-- I don't know why.
I'm sex positive.
You've never heard of that?
I think it's a new thing
that you made up.
No, it's a thing.
Sex positive.
Okay, Boomer!
My God, your earrings say
"Cha-cha-cha."
- I know, they're-- no, Chanel.
- Cha-nel.
Well, I will tell you,
you won tonight,
the "Breakfast at Tiffany" look.
I won "Breakfast at Tiffany?"
Are we voting?
There's no goddamn contest.
- So, [bleep] you.
- All right, I'm going to bed.
- I love you.
- EBONI: I love you.
- I love you. I have my tea.
- Bye, honey.
I am going to bed.
Nothing good happens
after a certain hour for me,
especially with the drinking.
I'm like, okay.
- Good night. I'm going to bed.
- Where you going?
She has a big day for us
planned tomorrow.
All right, fine.
We're having a big conversation.
I know, I love it.
Sometimes it's better
to call it a night
and not hang around too long.
If you know what I mean.
Maybe I'm weird
and maybe it's old school.
Or maybe it's the way
I was brought up.
I was never taught
to talk about sex.
Like, like, you know, like,
like, "This dick is big,
this dick is small.
"I like dick. I like to [bleep],
his ---- is big,
"and she has a... W.P.
or let's do a W.A.P."
Or whatever it's called.
I don't feel comfortable.
You sounded
pretty comfortable just there.
Can you just, like, edit
yourself a little around me?
- Just a little. Just a little.
- She wants me to edit.
- 'Cause look. The fact--
- She wants to edit me.
Wait, the fact that you say
all these things to me,
- all this verbiage, is huge.
- It's huge.
- It's ----ing huge.
Like huge! It's huge!
- Huge!
- [laughing]
So can you help me a little?!
If Ramona was just honest
about how into sex she was
and how she's just constantly
on the prowl for dick,
she'd be sex-positive too,
because I know for a fact
this woman is getting laid more
than all of the women combined.
You're not talking about it
in a sensual way.
Like, how about this?
Here. Here's a feather.
You know,
this man makes me feel so hot.
When he just strokes me
and touches me...
I feel so good.
She looks like
she's about to climax.
Sitting right next to me.
With a feather.
We're still talking about that
I make her feel uncomfortable.
We're trying to bond.
I'm saying I like to say--
You guys are so close!
Like, you guys--
I know!
But it's, like, I can't--
She's like, "Why do you talk
about body parts,
"and coming,
and ----, and sex-"
Well, Ramona, I just heard you
say you could take a big dick.
I heard you say that
two seconds ago.
I never said that.
Did you not say that
two seconds ago?
Did she not say
"I can take a big penis?"
No!
[uproarious laughter]
Now I'm leaving the table!
I liked you,
but now I don't like you!
Ramona! I'm sorry!
Wait, Ramona! Don't be mad!
Ramona! I thought you said you
could take a big dick!
[laughter]
I didn't say anything
about a penis
and a big one or nothing, okay?
- Are you ----ing crazy?
- You can't be mad.
I am mad.
Are you ----ing crazy?
Now I'm getting this from Eboni?
I am, like, dumbfounded.
I'm sorry. I had two gins.
Okay, do ladies
talk about body parts?
They talk about P's,
and C's, and D's.
I'm sorry. I don't.
And that's why
I had a big problem
with your girlfriend, Leah,
and now you're doing
the same ----ing thing.
- And now I'm really pissed off.
- Ramona, don't be upset.
- No, I am upset.
- Ramona's upset with me!
- I am so upset.
- Ramona's upset with me.
I thought that's what she said!
Welcome to my world.
Take my Duckhorn and I'm going
to ----ing bed.
I thought she said
she could take a big dick.
That's ----ing amazing.
- I'm sorry.
- I think she probably can...
I mean, seriously, what happened
to class and elegance?
Elegance and class!
Where did it all go?
Did Aubrey Hepburn
ever do this? No.
Coming up...
Maybe "Three, two, one,"
maybe, I don't know.
Three! Two! One!
[all shrieking and laughing]
[upbeat music]
- Hello?
- Hi, mom.
Hi Jack!
You're voice sounds so low.
♪♪♪♪♪
- On the brown.
- Yeah, on the brown.
I think Luann left already
'cause she's getting things
ready for Garth for the launch.
I'm gonna get a male model over
and we're gonna do some
nude drawing and painting
So, I thought the party,
over all, went well.
- It was very nice.
- I don't know why
when we get together, everyone
has to talk
about penises, okay?
- Okay.
- What is it about the penises?
- Okay, not even cold.
- It's really not as cold
as I thought it was gonna be.
Oh my God, tiki torches suck.
See? That's the devil.
So Eboni,
you know, is feeling
a little exuberant
from the champagne and the wine.
She said you can
handle a big dick.
Everyone says that.
But she thought
she heard you say it.
Yes, and I got upset.
So I have to
apologize to Ramona.
- I mean not, like, a deep one.
- Oh, God.
I want to respect
her comfort zone.
I do think
she's a huge hypocrite
- because I saw you guys too.
- She is!
When I was taking those
thirst trap pictures of you.
I'm like were you not
just saying
"Don't even say the word."
I swear. I really thought
Ramona said
she could take a big dick,
and I was proud of her,
and I meant it as a compliment.
But I don't think
I lied on Ramona.
And it's also, like,
again, like,
these respectability politics
that play for women too,
it's like we have to be these
- pretty little princesses.
- Thank you.
It's like, yeah, guess what?
I have a law degree
I practiced law for many years.
I've worked in some of
the biggest news organizations
in the world
and I say the word dick.
I am so over her
being, like,
"I need you to stop
talking about sex
because it makes me
so uncomfortable."
And then 20 minutes later.
The bitch is in
her freaking thongs
dancing around like a stripper.
I cannot believe that Leah
started all this trouble
with Heather
about this podcast.
She has to just stop
talking about everybody else.
Did she agree to do that?
[Sonja sighing]
I don't think so.
She's, she loves the scoop.
She loves the T.
So maybe I'll say something
to her later
If she wants to hang out
with us all again
she can't do that.
She has to stop that.
[quirky music]
[Leah sniffling]
My mom basically told me
that my grandmother is...
not communicating and
she just keeps saying to me,
"She's slipping away."
You know, it's like
I'm realizing in real time
while my mother's
telling me this,
like, I'm not getting
another conversation
with my grandmother.
[upbeat music]
- Good morning!
- Hi, baby.
- What's going on?
- Everything is good.
You have a nice time
at dinner last night?
I did! It was really nice.
I mean, aside from
getting attacked a little.
I feel like
I proved my point
that it was, like,
my experience, my podcast, my...
- my look at it.
- Right.
I think it would behoove you
not to talk about it.
Don't mention me.
Don't mention Sonja.
- Don't mention--
- Sure.
We don't wanna be
talked about, that's all.
Yeah, listen, I think that
what I go through in life
and the way that I want
to talk about my life
and my experiences,
I feel like is, you know,
- that's my business.
- But do you, like, promise?
I mean, can you promise?
At least when it comes to me?
- Yeah.
- I don't want you
to mention me.
Even if it's nice.
I don't want you
to talk about me.
I just don't want
to be in the press.
- You won't be.
- I really don't. All right.
With Ramona,
it's just more hot air
and ridiculousness over nothing.
So, I'd like to just move on
and try to see if there's some
fun to be had here.
That's what I'm here for.
I'm glad we're on the same page.
- Yeah.
- So I'm gonna get ready.
I mean, I still have
my last night's do.
I know!
What are you gonna do?
- The new tennis hairdo.
- I think it looks good.
I mean, it really did
hold its own.
- I know, right?
- Are you gonna
wear it painting?
Victoria is running it
so I'm expecting
full frontal nudity.
Hey, maybe it'll be,
uh, Garth naked.
Oh!
- He is an Adonis.
- Oh, good.
- All right, I'll get ready.
- Hot, he's hot.
[quirky music]
♪♪♪♪♪
[car beeping]
Hello?
- Hi guys!
- I'm helping. I'm a sous chef.
Hi! Oh, good.
- Hey, how are you?
- You look nice.
It's gonna be a good day.
We've got lamb curry
being prepared by Garth.
We've got a male nude model.
What's better than food
and nude?
Well, thank you
for coming to do this.
The girls are really looking
forward to your lamb curry.
Well I hope that, you know,
they're gonna be prepared
for lamb curry after the, um...
What's it called? Life--
- Life drawing.
- Are you doing that?
- Well, of course.
I am surrounded
by artists in my house.
Victoria's an artist. Nicole's
an artist. My son is an artist.
So I thought what can we do
that's different in the Hamptons
and, you know, Victoria came up
with a great idea.
I knew the girls
would have a hard-on.
I've always wanted to do one of
those classes so, you know--
Yeah. Do they teach you
how to draw? Or just...
No, you can just explore
how you want to draw someone.
This is gonna be hysterical.
- Hi kids.
- Oh, wow! Cute!
Are we painting? You guys are
very dressy for painting.
My goodness, you look great.
You know what? We like to look
chic for each other.
- You are chic.
- You didn't get the memo?
- But you look chic too.
- Yeah, I'm cool.
- But we look chic-er.
- Yeah.
Hey, can you make it,
like, more, like,
even like separate the pieces
so that this piece...
Are they getting their ----ing
makeup done? It's ridiculous.
I mean what, they can't do
their own hair and makeup?
I knew going into this trip
it wasn't gonna be easy
and I was gonna be
an emotional wreck.
I think that, like, having my
glam there is emotional support.
And being able
to look cute
even though I don't feel cute
will help me.
Hey girls.
Are you almost done?
'Cause we got to go.
You're, like--
Yeah, actually
we are almost done.
All right, but why do you
need hair and makeup
when we're just
going to a luncheon?
'Cause I want to look
my best for you, baby.
Yeah, but baby we're late.
Already half an hour late.
- Seriously.
- I don't want you to be late
at all, I totally respect that.
- So, you got one minute?
- No.
I've got probably...
at least 15.
- 20 maybe.
- You've gotta be kidding me.
- No.
- This is so rude of you.
No, it's not.
As a Black woman
my hair situation
is quite different than yours.
I had to wash it.
I can't like get it
to the texture
- it needs to be by myself.
- Well, then you should have
just started earlier,
that's all.
Well, baby, we had
technical issues. But go.
- You guys go. Thank you.
- 15 minutes.
It's just that I get a little
angry 'cause I haven't eaten.
- She gets hangry!
- Hangry!
You're hangry.
Don't be hangry.
- I'm hangry!
- 1865,
Emancipation Proclamation.
I'm free, okay?
So what you're not gonna do
is come down here
and tell me
what to do with my time.
Do not wait for me
one more second.
- I will see you at Lu's.
- [Ramona screeching]
- Freaking go!
- Yeah! Scream!
- It's the healing!
- [Leah screaming]
I'll scream with you.
[Ramona screaming]
[Leah screaming]
All right, Eboni,
I'll see you up there.
I will, babe.
I'll be up in ten.
- Bye team!
- Bye! Nice to see you again!
- See you guys there.
- See you when you get there.
- No, take your time.
- I'm gonna wait for her.
We'll see you in a little bit.
I didn't mean to yell,
but I'm just--
I was just impatient.
- Like, she's yelling!
- Good. It's therapeutic.
- [screaming]
- Let's go.
[screaming]
[barking]
- Coming up...
- I understand.
My daughter
doesn't speak that way.
- Speak what way?
- The way you speak
- about certain things.
- Are you frigging kidding me?
You think your daughter
is gonna speak to you
about sex in front of you?
I'm ----ing over it.
I'm done.
[warm music]
Oh, the table looks great,
Nicki. Good job.
And what, are those smocks?
- Yeah.
- And where's the male model?
- He should be here.
- Is he coming?
- Ah.
- Hello. Hello.
- Hello.
- Welcome.
Hi, Kurt.
How are you?
- This is Luann.
- This is beautiful.
- Hi. How are you?
- Boom. How are you?
- Boom, good to see you.
- Well, you're gonna have to
take that mask off
eventually, right?
I think I'm gonna take off
more than this mask...
Kurt's a friend
of my niece, Nicole,
and he's a professional poser.
- How are you?
As a male nude artist
he has to be mentally
prepared up here
so we don't have to worry
about what happens down there.
- We arrived. Are you serious?
- Awesome.
Well, thank you for coming.
The girls are super excited.
Yeah. It's gonna be great.
I'm excited.
Super excited.
I'm super excited.
- How's the lamb stew?
- It smells good.
Wow.
Thank you.
- The view is gorgeous.
- Oh, it's heaven.
- Hi girls!
- Adorable.
- How are ya?
- Good, babes.
- Hi!
- Really outdone yourself.
- Senorita!
- Look at this!
Come on in. Look who's here.
- The man! The man!
- The man.
Come and say hello.
This is Heather.
- Hi!
- This is Garth.
Very nice to meet you, Garth.
- Nice to meet you.
- Pleasure.
I have shrimp cocktail,
I have crudité,
- I have all kinds of things.
- Eboni and Leah
are still at my house
getting makeup done.
- All right.
- Hey, Sonja.
- Hi!
- What do you want to drink?
- How are you?
- Can I get a little
- taste test of your curry?
- Sure.
Sonja is so jealous of people
that I have around me,
especially Garth.
So I'm hoping that the curry
is gonna win her over.
He's a-----ing-dorable.
When you said at lunch
he was young, I thought--
No, he's my age.
Well, he's not my age.
He's gonna be 50.
- Yeah.
- He's been a godsend.
I have to say he's a good soul,
you know, when I call him
he picks up the phone.
- Yeah.
- There's no games. There is--
"We're having dinner
Friday, right?"
"Okay, Friday."
And Friday he's there.
- Right. Right.
- I can count on him.
I love Garth because
he's there when you need him.
And he doesn't drink,
which is a very good thing
for me to be around.
Thank you!
Thanks so much.
- All right.
- Okay.
- This is beautiful.
- Yeah, it's so cute.
- It's so quaint.
- Yup.
[indistinct conversation]
[overlapping greetings]
It's so good to see you!
Beauty queen!
- How do you feel?
- Hi, Nicole, Eboni.
Hey, Garth, how are you?
And I'll apologize to you later.
It's all right. But I still
don't quite understand
why you guys have to get
so perfect and coiffed.
But you know what?
It's your prerogative.
Only 'cause it's this vacation.
- Okay. Okay.
- Not all the time.
- Oh, look who's here.
- Hi!
Hi! Oh, my God.
How are you?
Good.
Sorry about being late.
- Your house is gorgeous!
- Thank you.
Come on in, get a drink,
all right?
- You girls enjoy.
- Hey, Garth is saying--
- Bye Garth!
Bye Garth--
Garth, you're leaving already?
Yeah, well all these women
in here, you know?
- It's good to go.
- A lot of hormones going on.
All right.
So, what is everybody drinking?
I'm getting a little
Pellegrino for now.
Uh-oh.
Did we drink a lot last night?
- It was a little-
- Ooh, girlfriend.
- I don't know if that shot...
- She was on fire last night!
...was such a good idea.
- But you misheard my words!
- I did!
That's why I was saying
I'm sorry, baby.
I'll own it. I'll own it!
But I have SAT words,
and then I say, like,
- curse words and crosswords.
- Ramona, she used
to walk out of a room
if you talked about boobs!
And that's what
I was trying to say to Leah!
We'll get along great,
but go talk to
the other girls about all that,
but not with me.
Right. It makes me, just...
I don't know.
- It makes you uncomfortable.
- Yeah, it does!
So I won't
do that anymore, Ramona.
It's all good.
You know what?
Eboni, new friend.
We're getting along great.
She seems to get me. Why can't
Leah do the same thing?
Luann was a lot cooler than
I thought she was gonna be.
I thought she was gonna be
pissed that I was late.
I'm glad she isn't.
Oh, nobody's pissed
that you're late,
except Ramona was just starving
and she wanted
to get out of there.
All right,
so the curry is cooking.
- Yum.
- It's gonna be done shortly.
So what do we say
about painting?
- Sure!
- Let's go outside!
What?
[all] Ohhhh!
Alfredo! Hey!
- Well, he's handsome too!
- How are you?
- Yeah! My God. Heather, Eboni.
- Eboni.
- Nice to meet you.
- And Ramona.
- I love your colors!
- Well, thank you.
This is Alfredo,
my amazing friend
who is a musician
and writes his own music.
The whole movie, she's like,
"Who's that? Did he die?
- Did he--"
- Wait, this is the guy
she wants you to meet,
with the ----ing guitar.
- Oh, my God!
- Okay, Luann
has no idea what I like.
I actually have a guitar
player coming over,
Alfredo, who I think
Sonja's gonna like.
- Ooh!
- Oh, like, like him, like him?
- He's hot.
- Oh, nice!
She doesn't know what--
I'm an artist, I'm not
- gonna be with an artist.
- You're so not-- you're already
- not into that guy.
- I'm not into artists.
- Oh my God, no way.
- I do like French,
but I'm not gonna do artists.
Sometimes Luann just
----ing astonishes me.
I like a dandy guy
with a checked shirt,
maybe a pochette,
a navy blazer.
Take your head out
of Garth's ass! What?!
Oh, look.
Here's your boyfriend.
- Hello!
- This is Alfredo.
- This is Sonja.
- Hi, so nice to meet you.
- And this is Sonja.
- Enchanté.
Leah.
[Alfredo & Luann
speaking French]
[laughing]
And my heels are, like,
falling into the grass.
-I'm gonna--
-[laughing]
Look at those boots.
I love it.
All right,
so you want to set up?
Yeah, I need to set up.
You want a drink?
I'm offering up
an artist, a guy!
He's a male, he has a penis,
and she can flirt with him.
What more can you ask for?
And just maybe she'll
get off my back about Garth!
Why would she think
I like this kind of guy?
I'm not into artists at all.
I'm into bankers.
Problem is,
Luann is trying to do something
nice for Sonja,
but Sonja likes Luann's type.
And of course,
if it was Luann's type,
she wouldn't
be throwing it to Sonja.
Did you see the male model
is gonna be nude?
Yeah.
He looks really good.
I was trying not
to act too thirsty.
- Isn't he gorgeous?
- Oh my God.
- He's gorgeous.
- [laughing]
I don't think I have
painted anyone nude
before, but...
actually, maybe I have.
Regardless, I hope...
he impresses me.
All right, we can get started.
- Yeah, let's start painting!
- Naked!
So are we picking our medi--
okay, I'm ready to roll here.
He's gonna do one minute,
- one minute--
- Oh, different poses?
So you'll do one minute,
one minute,
and then it's gonna be,
like, five minute,
and then it's gonna be,
like, ten minutes.
- I'm so nervous.
- No!
He's gonna do different poses?
- Yeah!
- Like...
- Yeah, so it'll be like--
- Oh, yeah!
- There's gonna be this one!
- [laughing]
Oh, my God.
- Coming up...
- You're not gonna treat me
like I'm the ---ing raunchy
bitch, 'cause I'm not!
I'm not treating you
like anything!
You're a ----ing hoe, you're a
hoe, you're a hoe, you're a hoe.
Leave me the [bleep] alone!
All right, girls!
I think we're ready!
Oh my God, here he comes,
here he comes, here he comes.
- Oh, awesome!
- Hello.
- [all] Hi!
- Oh, hello-hello!
Holy sh--, he looks better naked
than with clothes.
- Awesome.
- Oh, this is working for me!
I've never,
ever painted a nude model,
but I've also
never been a stripper.
There's a few things
I haven't done.
God,
I'm so weirded out right now!
You're such a kid!
You are such a kid, Leah.
We're gonna start with
a couple of one-minute poses.
...there's one thing
I can't do, is--
- What?
- --take this off by myself.
- [all] OHH!
- Uh, well--
- Get in there, girl!
- Someone, a helping hand?
- Sonja?
- Come here!
- Sonja, Sonja, Sonja!
- Sonja's running up there!
Wait, I was painting you
with a sarong on!
- Okay.
- Holy sh--.
Now I'm gonna,
like, hyperventilate.
- Okay!
- I would be lying
if I didn't say there was
some sort of anticipation!
Like, what exactly
am I gonna be painting here?
- [laughing]
- We can have you just...
- grab right here.
- Girl, I can't believe this.
Maybe three-two-one, maybe?
I don't know.
[all] Three, two, one!
[all exclaiming excitedly]
- [Kurt laughing]
- Awesome.
[laughing]
Your one minute starts now!
- Okay.
- Ooh-la-la.
- ...Ooh!
- [giggles]
I actually am, like,
really shocked right now!
I see why this is his job.
Good for you, Kurt.
- Oh my God!
- He has a pretty penis.
- I'm very happy over here!
- It is--
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, Luann!
I love you! Look at her go!
Look at her go!
I am so bad.
Ramona, get yourself
under control over there.
Ooh, he's manscaped nicely.
- Yeah, appreciate that.
- All right, next pose.
[all] What?!
[cheering & giggling]
His dick is bigger than
his balls when he's not erect,
and that's honestly
what we really need!
That is the most
important thing.
It was definitely,
like, not flaccid.
I mean, it was, like,
a nice in-betweenie weenie.
[giggling]
Look what I drew!
[laughing]
Flap formation is key!
It's thicker than that, though.
It's very thin, that one.
I don't know!
It's how I see it.
Ramona loves dick!
She may not like
the word "dick,"
but she likes actual dick.
Next pose.
[laughing]
- Oh, my...
- Nice!
- ...goodness.
- Oh, my God.
- That face!
- Things just got good!
Yeah, who's looking
at his face?
Wow. Beautiful, Kurt!
Can I get one more minute
on this side?
I saw that in
a museum somewhere.
I had enough of
the painting, okay?
I mean, you paint one penis,
you paint another one.
It's enough already, okay?
I'm done with that.
What happened, Ramona?
I'm relaxing.
I'm enjoying the view.
- All right!
- The view
of you beautiful ladies gazing
at this beautiful man.
Looking at the beautiful view,
actually, of the water.
I mean, this is in a whole
'nother experience right here.
It's relaxing, right?
Very relaxing, no? Yeah.
Are you cold?
- [laughing]
- You don't look that cold.
I'm running out of steam.
I'm coming up here.
I like the dick.
I did a good job with that.
That's the only thing
I did good!
Okay, girls.
This is the last pose.
- Okay.
- Okay?
I know the other girls
are nailing this.
They want to nail it!
That's why they're so focused.
I don't want to nail this guy.
I'm into his face, keeping
my eye off the... pickle.
It's a lot.
Lot goin' on here!
[guitar strumming]
[Alfredo singing in French]
Is this, do you think,
his original music,
or this is someone, like,
famous music he's playing?
No, I think
this is his own music.
- He's really talented.
- Yeah.
- It's very sensual.
- Yeah.
♪♪♪♪♪
I really love your music.
I really do.
It just-- it's moving me.
It's touching me.
I really love it.
It's so beautiful.
It's touching me.
Good.
I don't think Alfredo
is Sonja's type, but...
he has a dick, so he's
definitely Ramona's type.
[chuckling]
- He has such a square jaw!
- Look!
- I did the square jaw!
- Good!
- [laughing]
- So good.
The penis
looks better in real life.
This is kind of droopy, right?
- Yeah!
- His penis is a little droopy.
I've never really been
so hands-off
with a naked man
in front of me.
I never really stare at 'em.
I just kinda utilize 'em.
Don't show him that!
I guess I'll just grip
my pencil a little tighter.
- Thank you, Kurt!
- That was great.
[applauding]
I'm having vertigo again.
- Oh, my God.
- I'm sorry.
You have low blood sugar
or something?
This one, I wanted to do
your face and accent,
your beautiful lips
and square jawline.
- Don't judge me for my drawing.
- And hair.
And then it went south
when I got to the penis.
Literally! Yeah,
'cause you have a nice, round...
- Go on.
- Beautiful.
- ...sack.
- Ballsack.
- Oh! Okay.
- Right?
You gave him
a big badonkadonk, too!
- Yeah!
- That's beautiful.
Gave him a big ol' Cardi B ass.
- [all laughing]
- She did!
If you had severe vertigo,
you would have, like,
fallen over, so just sit.
You'll be fine.
And I'm, like,
stressing out about when
- I'm gonna go see my--
- No, don't stress out.
I'm stressing out about
when I'm gonna
- go see my grandmother!
- Why don't you FaceTime her
- with your family?
- I can't FaceTime her.
She can't even pick up
her phone anymore.
Like,
I physically feel terrible,
and obviously
it's all connected.
Like, mind-body-spirit.
I'm having a hard time.
Girl, you look too pretty
to mess up that good eye.
It's, like,
I can't even ----ing, like,
enjoy myself 'cause
I physically don't feel well!
- Like, no one gets it.
- No, I know.
Like, I'm not, like ----ing,
like, lying or being a baby.
- Like, I don't--
- You're not exaggerating.
I don't physically feel well.
I'm not exaggerating.
I really don't physically feel--
my head is ----ing pounding,
- I'm dizzy.
- Right. At some point,
like, it is what it is.
You know what?
I know that your grandmother
is the only one who's been there
for you forever,
who's loved you unconditionally,
and that's what's real.
I think that's a huge thing.
I don't want to upset you,
but I'm getting
to know you better,
and I know that's what
it's about for you.
- Just making sure.
- Yup, thank you.
She gets you more
than your mommy does.
More than Rob does.
And that's--
[choked] Oh, God,
I don't mean to make you cry.
I'm just trying
to relate to you,
and now I think
I'm making it worse.
Am I making it worse?
Oh, sh--.
Flag on the play, Mona.
Stop it.
But I do know she means well.
- I don't mean to make it worse.
- [tearful] I feel so bad.
I'm turning this whole trip
into me being sad--
- Nooo!
- No, it's not that.
I just keep thinking
about her face. It's like...
- You don't want to even--
- [mouthing] I understand.
I think maybe Ramona
taking a vow of silence
would be the best thing
for me right now.
I feel bad. I'm, like,
okay, and then I'm crying.
- I'm okay, and then I'm crying.
- Okay.
You don't need to feel bad
because this isn't
your burden to carry, Leah.
I feel like you think
you gotta carry this sh--,
and you need
to stop thinking that.
Everybody's grown.
Everybody's doing their part.
You need to take care
of you, baby.
I know.
And I know that's what
this is really about.
You're scared
that when she goes,
nobody's gonna be there
to tell you they're proud.
- You are good, Leah.
- [Leah sobbing]
You got a good heart.
You're there for other people.
- You're strong for the people.
- [sniffling]
And you're not-- like, Leah,
when she passes,
you're not losing that!
She will always feel
that for you, baby.
Leah, of course.
[laughing]
It's okay, child.
That's what
the dry cleaners is for.
It's okay.
It's okay, baby.
Coming up...
You think you're the smartest
girl in the room.
- Nobody said that.
- But guess what? You're not!
Don't come into my house
and tell me
- I don't have an education!
- Luann,
- I can leave your house, Lu!
- She didn't say--
That's fine!
If you need anything,
just let me know.
- Thank you.
- Okay. Of course, baby.
- Anytime.
- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, we're not gonna
Instagram that!
I guess this is so Victoria
can continue her painting.
Well, I'm trying to get,
like, classical realism.
Well,
this is definitely classical.
- And very real.
- Girls, can you come and sit?
Because we're having lunch.
Do we go in and
serve ourselves?
- Give me your plate.
- However...
- Thanks, Lu.
- Yep.
Death is harder on the living.
So much harder
on the living.
I think for people
that lean emotional,
which Leah does,
it's very difficult.
- Yeah.
- Her pain is just deafening.
And it sounds like
her grandmother was,
you know,
really the rock in her life,
so she feels like she's losing
control a little bit.
Well, she's scared that,
who's gonna tell her
she's enough now?
Well, that's when your
friends step in, though.
- Yeah.
- That's where she and I
have our conflict, because
she looks up to me.
She looks at me
as an older sister,
and she looks for affirmation,
and when I don't give it to her,
she gets really angry at me
and kind of aggressive.
Thank you.
This looks delish.
Oh, here are my sunglasses.
[sighs]
Okay.
- How you doing?
- Okay.
- I'm giving you space.
- You're so sweet.
I don't like to be in people's
face every five seconds.
[chuckling] Thank you.
How is it? Good?
Man, this is amazing.
- Ce bon?
- Delicious.
All right,
so let's raise a glass!
Yes.
It's really great
to have you here.
Thank you, Victoria!
[all]
Thank you, Victoria!
- Come out here!
- Thank you!
[overlapping chatter]
Thank you.
And thank you, Garth,
for making this fabulous
lamb curry.
- Very much, thank you, Garth.
- Just so delicious.
- Just a little bit.
- Yeah, the lamb is so tender.
- Oh, my God!
- I don't know how long
this relationship's gonna last,
but I can see
what Luann's raving about.
And it's the curry!
So, what did I miss last night?
I went upstairs,
and then I heard Ramona
come running out,
going [angry babbling],
and then you were chasing her.
Oh!
Going "oh, Ramona, Ramona!"
And I'm like,
"What's going on?!"
So then I ran over
to the staircase
- and I was kinda like--
- Being nosy!
- I was being nosy!
- [Eboni laughing]
- I was apologizing because--
- What about?
- About, about?
- I was using language
- that Ramona does not like.
- Actually,
Ramona was talking with me
about how she loves me,
- but...
- "But"!
...does not like the way
I talk about sex,
- because it--
- When I'm around.
- makes her uncomfortable.
- When I'm around.
- Yeah, obviously.
- Fair enough.
Listen, this one, you know,
she was a church-going
Catholic.
I was brought up,
like, the same way.
Kind of more conservative,
you know what I mean?
- So it's--
- Come on, give me a break.
"Ramona Singer"
and "Christian values"
are not to be used
in the same sentence!
This is a woman who lied
about donating blood plasma!
"Thou shall not lie."
No, but we love to talk
about those kinds of things.
Right, exactly.
But there's
a certain cutoff point
where it gets a little much.
For some people!
For some people.
- And if that's how she is--
- Right, but it's hard
- for me to know.
- Right.
Because there's some hypocrisy,
you know what I mean?
But now you understand,
though, why she got up,
'cause it makes her
feel uncomfortable.
But I don't understand why,
because Sonja--
I like to hear it all.
But there are certain,
like, words, like the C-word,
that you don't really
like to hear that much.
Oh, the "C-U-Next-Tuesday"?
I'd never call my vagina,
like, a C-word, ever.
But, it's not about that word.
It's about the words
that you use
that might be offensive to her.
I was trying to explain to her,
like, I want a relationship
with you,
but please don't do that.
That doesn't really-- I don't
understand the logic--
My daughter
doesn't speak that way!
Her friends don't
speak that way.
- Don't speak what way?
- The way you speak
- about certain things!
- Are you freaking kidding me?
You think your daughter's
gonna speak to you
about sex in front of you?
I'm ----ing over it.
Get me out of here.
- I don't get it either!
- I'm done.
- I don't know.
- I'm done.
Do not compare me
to your daughter.
Me and your daughter
are nothing alike.
I'm also not your daughter!
Ramona, I don't get it either.
- Why can't she just be herself?
- I'm so done.
If she wants to say the C-word!
You don't want me
talking about sex,
and ----ing you were dancing
around in your thong,
flashing your titties
to me yesterday.
- Make up your mind!
- She edited me!
- [gasping]
- I was gonna go like this--
Oh, my God!
- [clapping]
- Whoo!
Which one is it?
And you're acting
on a high horse, Luann.
Give me a ----ing break.
I am not!
I'm not acting on a high--
- I mean, it's a little--
- I'm trying to explain to you!
But do me a favor
and don't explain it to me.
Leah and I been getting along,
but then as soon
as we get along,
it's like she throws a wrench
in it on purpose!
Like, are you doing this
on purpose, Leah?
She's being overly sensitive.
Her grandmother's dying,
she's overly sensitive.
She was just crying in there.
Let's leave her alone.
- God. Jesus.
- She's being overly sensitive.
If I have to hear about
her ----ing ---- daughter
one more time,
I'm gonna ----ing lose it.
This is a lot for something
that's not that big of a deal.
You guys don't like the word,
no problem.
No, excuse me, excuse me.
She came out to dinner
with my daughter
and her four girlfriends,
and my daughter goes
"Who speaks this way?"
She was using the P-word.
I would like to find
a billionaire
with a nine-inch--
never mind!
Leah, seriously,
you have to stop.
They're 24 years old!
- I had a kid at 24!
- Leah, you want a time-out?
- I'm gonna give you a time-out.
- Your daughter is 25, right?
Yeah.
But she doesn't speak that way.
Okay, so then that's Avery.
That's your daughter.
- Fine!
- So that's no problem--
But she can respect me!
- It-- okay.
- Respect me.
Look, Ramona. I said,
you don't like the words.
- She doesn't get it!
- I won't use the words.
She makes me feel bad
that I feel this way.
But you understand
what I'm saying--
I understand what you're saying,
but I don't agree fully, Lu.
I won't use it with you, because
you've said "I don't like it."
But I don't subscribe to
the fact that to use those words
mean you're unclassy,
or you're not a lady.
- I never said that!
- I'm not saying you did!
- But you said--
- I never said that.
You said something about
being conservative and--
I never said that! I said
it makes me uncomfortable!
I could have sworn
I just heard Lu say something
about being raised
through the church.
Yeah, but it has nothing
to do with class.
- It has to do with education.
- Well, no!
It doesn't have to do
with education either, Lu.
I have more education,
frankly,
than anybody at this table!
I'm the most educated person
in this group!
- Oh, oh, really?
- I am!
Really?
Why, have you Googled us?
How do you know
what my education is?
Yes, I do!
I Googled everybody,
because I Google
everybody I talk to!
- Wait, wait.
- Of course!
So you think your degree--
your degree
- makes you more educated?
- Means nothing.
Well, it does make me more
technically educated, Luann.
Well, that's probably
the stupidest thing
I've ever heard anybody say...
Does somebody else have
a terminal degree?
for somebody
who's so educated.
If you bring up
your freaking daughter
to me one more time,
about sex...
- Give me a ----ing break!
- I'm, not-- Stop! Stop!
Do you think-- they've
probably been sucking ----
- since ----ing age 14!
- Who gives a sh--?
I don't wanna hear about it!
I don't wanna hear about it
at a dinner!
- I don't need to hear it!
- [bleep] that sh--, Ramona.
- Honestly.
- You're full of bullsh--.
- No, I'm not.
- You're so full of bullsh--.
- Absolutely not. I'm not.
- Leah, stop. Stop it.
This is not fair!
Of course Leah
is acting out,
because she likes to get
a rise out of Ramona.
And I don't blame her,
but I wouldn't personally
throw the insults
at someone's child.
Guess what? Maybe last year
I was like,
"Sure, okay, hee-hee!"
You're not gonna treat me
like I'm the ---ing
raunchy bitch,
'cause I'm not!
I'm not treating you
like anything!
---ing bullsh--.
You're a ----ing hoe,
you're a hoe,
you're a hoe, you're a hoe.
Leave me the [bleep] alone!
- Oh, my God.
- Biggest hoes ever!
♪♪♪♪♪
you're a hoe, you're a hoe!
Leave me the [bleep] alone!
- Oh, my God.
- Biggest hoes ever!
She's always so defensive
and aggressive!
- Aggressive, defensive--
- There was no need
- to get like that.
- This is ridiculous.
- Uncalled for. Disrespectful...
- I think she should
be able to be herself,
but don't bring her
around people
you don't want her around!
Listen, she's going
through a hard time.
- Her grandmother is not well.
- Like your friends,
- like your daughter.
- No excuse for that behavior.
- Hi.
- Listen, I think there's
a big lesson here,
and I think
it's listening to each other,
and that's
what's missing here.
Yeah, that's for sure!
Nobody's listening
to each other.
- I just tried to explain it.
- Leah's not listening to you--
And I think I was pretty clear.
For an uneducated person.
Nobody said
you're uneducated, Lu!
- Well--
- No, I gotta clear this up!
Uh-uh. Luann--
No, no, no!
- Time out!
- I am not going to yell.
- No, timeout.
- Why are you yelling, then?
But Luann I just said, because--
Can we, like, not make it
about you right now?
No, we're not making it
about Leah, Ramona!
You're an LPN.
You have a nursing degree.
You said to me,
"I'm the smartest one here."
- No, I did not. That's a lie.
- No, she didn't say that.
- Sonja knows I didn't say that.
- She said she's the most
educated person at the table!
Which is a fact!
That is a personal fact!
She didn't say she was smarter,
or prettier,
or more,
you know, anything.
- Just educated.
- It's a resume.
I don't think you speak
three languages, okay?
Let's not go tit for tat
on who has an education
or not, girlfriend.
- 'Cause I don't like that.
- That's not even subjective.
At this point, I'm seeing red.
You know,
education to me is somebody
that's well-rounded
in so many ways.
Well-traveled, speaks languages.
Is she trying to make us feel
like we're... idiots?
I don't like
the way you said
that people that don't speak
and adhere to your
- social status or rhetoric--
- That's not what I said.
- Yes, it is!
- Not what I said.
She said
it speaks to your education.
Girlfriend, you got it
all wrong.
Luann, that's a quote.
No, Luann, you said that!
I was talking about
Catholic education.
I don't care what
you were talking about!
I'm talking about Catholicism!
This one, she was
a church-going Catholic.
I was brought up,
like, the same way.
- More conservative.
- You said "education"!
Well, that's what I meant,
and you jumped on me,
- 'cause you're Miss Ed-u-cated.
- No, I--
- [laughing]
- I am fully educated, Luann.
Well, we know now!
We got your number!
No, and we got yours, Lu!
You think you're
the smartest girl in the room.
- Nobody said that.
- But guess what? You're not!
She didn't say "smartest"!
She said "the most educated."
- You're not.
- That's your insecurity, Lu.
I went to UNC Chapel Hill
at 16 years old.
I completed my degree,
I went straight to law school,
I've been practicing
law since I was 23.
You can say
a lot of sh-- about me,
- but I have an education.
- I don't like the way you talk.
- I don't like the way you talk!
- This is no longer about Leah.
This is just all about egos.
Don't come into my house
and tell me I don't have
an education!
Luann, I can leave
your house, Lu!
- She didn't say!
- That's fine! Go with Leah!
I never said that!
I never said that.
She didn't say you don't
have an education!
She said
she's the most educated.
I essentially gave you
much respect for the fact
- that you are a trained nurse.
- It didn't sound like that.
Well, then you need to clean
your ears out and listen.
- You're the one screaming here.
- I'm not screaming.
- I have a loud voice--
- You are.
You're shouting again!
Oh, my God, my ears are hurting!
- No, Ramona, I'm not.
- Bring it down! You are.
Your white fragility
is killing me right now.
I have a hearing problem!
- Don't go after her race!
- This is white fragility!
- We didn't go after your race.
- I wish you would.
- Please, do it.
- No, we wouldn't even
- go close to it.
- Please do it!
- I know you wouldn't.
- What does my race
have to do with anything?
It's my ears!
[calmly] So "white fragility"
is when white women--
- You're shouting.
- I'm not shouting.
- Let her finish!
- I can hear, I just--
- Okay, then I'm gonna move back
- I do have a loud voice!
- just so you're not so loud.
- I'm a podcaster!
- I'm listening. I'm listening!
- Okay.
We were talking
about certain words
that Ramona and Luann
don't like to be used
dealing with
reproductive systems.
- Thank you.
- Okay?
- What?
- And then Luann went on to--
you guys don't like the C-word,
the D-word,
that's what we're talking about!
I don't like people
talking about dicks
- and ---- at a dinner!
- Right!
Okay? Sorry! Sorry!
And she says
- 'cause my Catholic education--
- She did not say that!
- Yes, she did!
- She said it has to do
- with your education!
- Yes, I did.
- No, you did not!
- You were very quick
- to jump on me.
- You did not.
Heather, did she say that?
Say yes.
Run the tape back!
She said "education."
I could have sworn
I just heard Lu say something
about being raised
through the church.
Yeah, but it has nothing
to do with class.
It has to do with education.
Why are you getting so angry?
Why are you yelling right now?
Oh, so now I'm the angry
Black woman, Luann.
You're calling yourself--
I'm not going there.
No... Not going there.
[overlapping arguments]
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
We all know that
conservative and buttoned-up
empowers some people,
and naked and open-up
empowers other people.
- But what I don't like--
- That's a different style!
Not to cut you off.
I didn't like Luann equating,
making the false equivalency,
between people's education--
- No, what she said--
- I need another tequila.
I need a big tequila right now.
Why are you so angry?
You're an angry woman right now.
- That implication--
- I never referred
- to your color, nor would I.
- No, you didn't have to.
- You didn't have to.
- No.
- 'Cause you're a woman to me.
- You don't have to.
Our dear friend
Leah McSweeney,
not five minutes ago,
storms off in a mad dash,
and we don't see
her ass no more.
And nobody called Leah "angry."
Nobody.
I simply take a visceral
response to something
that felt deeply personal
and painful to me,
and I'm immediately
called "angry."
Tell me it's not about race.
- I see passion, defensing--
- But I am a Black woman.
- I am a Black woman.
- I don't see anger.
Girl doesn't seem angry to me.
She seems to use her words.
So, I want to ask you
a question.
- Yeah?
- And I don't usually like
to use these words,
but I'm gonna say.
So, when you're, like,
hanging out at a table
with your friends,
or with your mother,
- whatever.
- Whatever.
You wouldn't say, like,
"I like ----ing ----,
and "Ooh, that ---- is hard,
and I like dick!"
- Do you do that?
- I don't-- not really, no.
If you don't want me here,
because I'm not free
to express
how I feel about things,
I will leave your property,
because I respect you.
I think you should go.
- Oh my God!
- No, that's fine.
You need to calm down and think
about what you just said,
- it was very offensive to us.
- I will not be here,
and I will not silence
myself for you, Luann.
- Not to me!
- No, you're not gonna
- police my feelings.
- I'm not policing
- your feelings.
- What you did to shame
- this woman around her--
- I didn't shame her.
- Yes, you did.
- No, I did not.
And you tried to shame any woman
that is sexually free,
and you used education to do it.
It's trash, Lu.
It has nothing to do
with being sexually free.
It's trash. It's trash.
- Well, that's a good word.
- It's trash.
You should be familiar.
Have a safe trip!
Next time,
on the Real Housewives
of New York City...
Luann called me
an angry Black woman.
No she did not!
She did not call you that.
Trying not to get
emotional right now.
- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
- Because it's such the bullsh--
I've dealt with
my whole ----ing life.
I apologize that
I got so upset with you.
- I don't-- you know--
- Yeah. And I appreciate that.
- I do, and I accept it.
- And you know, I would hope
that you would extend
the same to me.
[squealing]
She better back up a little bit.
Those waves are big.
[shouting]
Eboni, get back!
- [screaming]
- My God.
- Back up, back up!
- Why are you talking about me
- and what I said?
- Well, I want to talk
- to you about it.
- Are you ----ing kidding me?
Do not talk about
if I want a vote or not.
Why do you have to be
in everyone's business
like a Karen?
It's none of your business!
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
- Not really.
- [bleep] off.