- Come on. - Mm-mm.
- Just come with. - Nuh-uh.
- Please? - No fucking way.
This may be their last reunion tour ever.
Yeah, I fucking hope so.
They're the best band.
Oh, come off it.
Look, I ain't stopping you. If you really want to go,
I'll buy you front row seats. You can take Rachel.
I don't want to take Rachel.
I want you to come with me.
I would be forced to chop my fucking ears off.
- I'll make a mess everywhere. - Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Then I would just have to clean it up.
- You would? - Yeah.
Smart-ass.
You love it.
- Do I? - Yeah, you do.
Yeah.
- Hi. - Good morning.
Morning, Deputy Director.
How did you get in here?
You're like the fucking mold
on my laundry room tiles.
You scrape it off, comes right back.
Sounds like you got a little bit of a moisture problem, luv.
Security, please.
I can stop 'em getting Supes in the military.
What makes you think I care?
Personally, I can't wait until they're in Syria.
Yeah, I'll bet.
Last week.
A-Train, mainlining
before the big race. His fuck buddy,
Popclaw,
pinning the same stuff.
They call it Compound V. It's some kind of
booster or steroid for Supes.
Jacks 'em right up.
Now, word gets out that Supes
are nothing but a bunch of juice junkies,
no one's gonna want 'em in national defense.
Mm-hmm.
Got a sample?
Not yet.
Mm.
This could be heroin.
It could be anything.
You don't trust me.
Susan, I am shocked and saddened by that.
Really?
I'm sure.
Speaking of which,
I haven't seen Translucent around anywhere.
You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?
Cunt's invisible.
He could be standing in that fucking corner,
plugging one out right now, for all we know.
Look, you think Supes are cunts now?
You just wait till they're wearing camo.
I mean, what's to stop Sergeant Homelander
from killing a couple of hundred thousand Chinese?
How are you gonna try him for war crimes?
He's gonna murder the bloody lot of us
before he steps one foot in The Hague.
I mean, you might as well hand the bloody launch keys
over to Vought right now.
You're really working this one, huh?
Just being an upstanding citizen, luv.
Oh, I know.
Okay.
You get me some hard proof,
something actionable that I can use,
and maybe I'll throw you a few bucks.
For your operating costs.
But if you fuck me on this,
for the rest of your life, you'll be drinking your own piss
at a black site.
Say you understand.
See, now, Susan, this is why it never went anywhere with us.
You can't have two alpha males, 'cause inevitably someone's...
Say you fucking understand.
I understand.
Remind me, what was our deal?
- What? - What was our fucking deal?
Go to hell. I already told you, A-Train runs the Compound...
Yeah, runs the Compound V to the noodle shop up on Division.
We've been up on it all week and we ain't seen fuck all.
Well, wherever he's going, it's around there,
because every time he leaves with the V,
he comes back with the sesame noodles. That's all I know.
Well, you'd better be right, love,
or you and your dearly departed landlord
are gonna find yourselves on Pornhub
in the Fatal Cunnilingus section.
You son of a bitch, if you even...
Sorry, baby, just, work's
just been a motherfucker lately.
You know I'd much rather be at home, rubbing on them toes
than out here breaking up yard fights,
but you know, a brother got to get paid, right?
Oh, most definitely.
Payday comes, we gonna be all up in Kay Jewelers,
tearing it down.
Champagne showers.
I know, I know, I'm just kidding.
All right, sweetheart. Talk to you.
Say something.
Well, you know, Jean-Paul Sartre said
marriage stifles our essential male urges.
Jean-Paul Sartre also died a old, lonely motherfucker.
Not to mention his girl
was shacking up with some other dude.
Uh, oui. They were free to explore.
Explore what? Gonorrhea?
Come on, Frenchie.
Why work so motherfucking hard if you don't have somebody
to go home to and sleep next to at night?
Well, I go to sleep next to someone different every night.
Yeah, and that's 'cause you're an old, lonely fucker, too.
- And you're gonna die by yourself. - Mm.
Well, if you and Monique have something so pure,
why are you lying to her about where you are?
Noodle Guy. He's packing.
About time we see something.
We got to go in there, don't we?
Don't be scared, petit Hughie.
Will you stop calling me that? I'm, like, six feet tall.
Let's hurry up, let's go.
Check those boxes.
Frenchie, look for the V.
Frenchie, come on, let's go,
Check these boxes.
Come on, Frenchie, what are you doing?
Are you deaf?
Jesus.
Who's that?
I think we should let her go.
No, no, no, no, no, uh-uh. We're here for the V, and we get out.
This isn't a rescue.
You sound like Butcher.
I sound like a motherfucker that wants to be breathing.
Goddamn it, Frenchie, what the...
Hey! Don't set her free!
Oh, my God!
Oh, fuck.
Hughie, let's go! Let's go, Hughie!
Come on!
Couple weeks ago, we were all getting...
we were all getting wasted in the common room.
It was, like, Super Bowl, I think.
And I don't know. Maybe I was just drunk, but...
...you know, I tried.
I-I really tried...
to talk to the guys.
About...?
Dolphins.
Did you know, in Japan, that they
hunt down and slaughter 20,000 dolphins a year?
Intelligent animals.
Yeah, that have regional accents, and
a great sense of humor. I mean, they're...
They're hilarious.
Yeah.
And that night, A-Train
thought it'd be funny to stick a blow-up dolphin in my bed.
With lipstick on its blowhole.
Yeah, real creative pricks.
I'm sorry.
That must have hurt.
Yeah, I'm-I'm... I'm the diversity hire.
I'm a joke.
I mean, yeah, I can talk to fish. So what?
How often do you need to be saved by a school of salmon?
Kevin, that's just not true.
Where would that Carnival cruise ship be without you?
Yeah. I know.
Okay, I need to... self-actualize,
show more confidence.
After all, who are you?
I'm one of The Seven.
And what does that mean?
I can do anything I set my mind to.
What do you want to set your mind to?
What a mess.
You all right?
I mean, just when you think
this shit can't get any more horrible...
Nah, don't worry.
It can get a lot more horrible.
Butcher, come check this out.
Take a look.
V.
So, A-Train's running it here,
and these blokes are dosing the Asian bird with it.
Yeah, back when they had eyeballs.
Yeah, but why?
Is it a Vought thing or, like, a side hustle?
Came gift-wrapped in this.
Find out where it came from.
I'll shake a few trees.
Why the hell were they dosing her?
Why don't we ask foie gras over here?
He's the one that let her out.
- She looked innocent. - Innocent?
She's locked up in a cage, underground,
with two armed guards?
I had a feeling about her.
Nah, Frenchie, you just didn't follow the plan.
You never follow the plan, man.
You need to unclench your asshole.
You need to eat my clenched asshole,
- how 'bout that? - Why are you two carrying on
like a bunch of fucking twats?
We're sniffing down a shit sandwich
the size of Watergate.
Vought and the Supes are both gonna be looking for her.
All we got to do is find the female first.
Keep looking.
Who's that, then, eh?
It's nobody.
"Annie?" Starlight?
Yeah, it's nothing. I mean, we were supposed to
go on a date.
Not a date, just, she asked me
if I wanted to ask her for her number,
and then we just kind of platonically
exchanged information, but the...
the word "date" was never mentioned.
Call her back right now. You're fucking going.
As a rule, I don't usually go out after a gory massacre.
Listen, here's the job.
You're gonna hot mic her phone.
From now on, we hear everything she says.
I mean, this is a golden opportunity.
And after all you done, piece of cake.
Yeah, she's not a... She's not a bad person.
She's a Supe, Hughie.
Just like the fucking rest of them.
Okay, we are not gonna be able to cover this up forever.
Translucent does not show his face soon,
people are gonna start to notice.
What if we just get in front of it?
Tell the world he died tragically
in the service of his country.
We could have an amazing funeral, bigger than Kennedy's.
I don't know, admit that one of our unkillable
superheroes just got killed?
Kiss that military bill good-bye.
Let's not overthink it.
We just say he's on a classified mission.
We can't say where, in the interest of national security.
All we can say is he's fighting MS-13.
Ooh, yes. That's good.
Simple. Done. Boom.
MS-13. I like it.
Hello?
What? When?
How many people know?
Seven minutes ago,
Trans-Oceanic Flight 37 from Paris to Chicago
was hijacked mid-air.
- Seven minutes ago? - Yeah.
A source from NORAD gave us a heads up.
How many hijackers?
Well, looks like three.
Did they scramble F-16's?
Yep, as we speak.
But you can get there quicker.
Can I please have the room?
Oh, middle of the Atlantic.
- Yep. - No-man's-land.
You can't operate on foreign soil,
but a plane hijacked over international waters...
If you intercept, no one will protest.
If you bring those passengers back alive,
not one congressman will have the balls
to vote against our bill.
Mm-hmm.
This is our chance.
More important than Translucent.
More important than anything.
Concentrated halothane.
It's not a guarantee,
but it should knock out your girl.
Merci, pumpkin.
I must go; this girl, she's got a head start.
Hey, I miss you.
I got us a pied-á-terre on the Bowery.
When will you be coming by?
As soon as I can.
Promise.
- Promise? - Mm-hmm.
Don't make me use that gas on you,
huh, pumpkin?
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
- Okay. - Mm. Oh...
Mm.
Fuck!
When will they intercept?
Corporal, I don't care who is in the room with you,
I need a goddamn update.
Jesus.
Hey. Do you have a second?
It is not really a good time.
I'd really appreciate it. Super quick.
- Pretty please? Thank you. - No... Oh, okay.
So... I found a mission.
Uh-huh.
And I think it's really important.
And I'd like to do it, with your permission, of course.
What? Where?
- Oceanland. - Oceanland?
Yeah. So, get this, the dolphins there,
I mean, they are really underfed and abused.
To be quite honest, they're really frustrated.
And I'd like to, you know, just shine a light on it.
I think people would really respond to that.
You do realize that you are at the centerpiece
of the Oceanland fall campaign?
Yeah, well, I mean, we could just bail on that, right?
The deal sucks anyways.
No, we can't.
Listen, I'd just like to, you know,
maybe do something with a little more substance.
Okay.
- Yeah? - I hear you. Yes.
- Okay? - Uh-huh.
Deep...
play to your strengths.
Hey. baby.
Hey...
What'd you do?
What the hell are you talking about?
Who did you tell about Compound V?
Nobody. Why? What...
Because you're the only person who knew, other than me,
that I had it... where I was taking it.
I-I didn't tell anyone anything.
You're being paranoid.
Who else did you fucking tell?!
Don't yell at me.
Listen to me.
Sit down.
Look, I love you. You know I do.
I've loved you since the first time that we met.
Oh, really? I heard you at the race.
No girlfriend. Open to offers.
Come on, I have to say those things.
You know this. They make me.
It's my brand.
Come here.
You remember when you relapsed?
Yes.
And I stayed and I rubbed your back.
Cleaned up your puke.
I'm there for you, always.
I know, baby.
Please,
tell me who you told.
'Cause we're in trouble. We're in a lot of trouble.
I didn't tell anyone.
Either way, you're gonna have to pack a bag,
so get everything that you need.
Why? Where are we going?
I'm gonna take care of this,
but until I do, I got to get you somewhere safe,
before Homelander finds out.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Mani? Pedi? Special deal.
The hilarious Dolphins Ahoy Extravaganza,
starring these two knuckleheads.
So this fall, remember, go Deep. Go Oceanland.
All right, let's see what you got.
You said you, uh, you bowled before?
Yeah, I'm just a little rusty.
- You? - Uh, yeah. Here, actually.
My whole life.
I had my first kiss with Amy Seeler
in the men's bathroom when I was 14.
- It was really romantic. - Yeah.
I'm sure that's exactly how she pictured her first kiss.
Excuse me. Where was your first kiss?
Prom.
It was amazing.
Wait, senior prom?
So your first kiss was when you were 18?
Mm-hmm.
Which you're not joking about,
and that's fine, that's great.
Yeah, I had a very Jesus-centric childhood.
Yeah!
He never asked me out again.
Sorry. Um, what were you saying?
No, just about prom.
- What was it... what about... - Nothing.
It's-it's stupid.
Um, I'm gonna, I'm gonna throw one.
Ah! Ah.
So what's, uh, what's Translucent like?
That's a conversational left turn.
Yes, it was. I'm sorry about that.
Sorry. Yeah, it just popped into my head.
As a kid, he was my favorite.
You said the other ones were dicks; is he a dick, too?
Well, I mean, he's not great with privacy or boundaries,
I will say that.
But otherwise, he seems like a loner.
He spends most of his free time with his son.
- He's got a son? - Yeah. Early divorce, I think.
He's about ten.
Hunter or Maverick or something like that.
It's okay.
All right, everyone, it's all over.
It's all safe. You're all gonna be fine.
Thank you, Homelander!
Oh, no, no.
Come on, now. You guys.
You guys made it.
- You okay, sweetheart? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Good for you.
You guys are amazing, fantastic.
Go, Maeve!
Hey, let's get a round of applause
for Queen Maeve.
Yeah!
Captain?
Stop. Stop.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, fella.
Take it easy.
There you go, just relax.
ATC!
It's dead!
Can you fly a plane?
Wouldn't matter if I did!
What do we do?
All right, everyone, remain calm.
Stay in your seats. Everything's under control.
You got to go out there, lift the plane up.
Lift the plane? How? There's nothing to stand on.
It's fucking air.
I don't know, fly at it, ram it straight.
No, that kind of speed, either the plane goes ass over tit
or I'll punch straight through the hull, or...
Whoa! Whoa, that was a big one!
Everything's fine, don't worry about it.
Okay. Okay.
You take everybody, one by one, you fly them to the ground.
And what? Come back 123 times?
Maeve, think.
We're done here.
- Please. - Everything's fine, guys.
- Everything's fine. You're okay. - Wait, you're leaving us?
No, no, no, no, no. I'm just seeing something down the back.
Oh, my God, you're leaving.
- He's leaving us. - I said I'm not...
Whoa!
Homelander, are you going to save us?
Oh, sweetheart, of course I'm gonna save you,
you betcha.
I'm gonna save everyone here, don't worry about it.
- Ma'am, relax, hands off me. - It's okay. It's okay.
Maeve!
Okay, you two, take off your masks. Come on.
Now!
- Take these two! - No, no.
- Just these two! Please! - No! What, so they
can tell the world that we left
the rest of them to fucking die?
- Come on! - No, Maeve. No. You stay back!
All of you, stay back.
You stay the fuck back or I'll laser you, goddamn it!
I will laser every fucking one of you!
Stay back!
Let's go.
No, Maeve, no!
- Please stay! - I'm sorry.
- Take us! - Maeve!
Please, don't leave us. Please!
Maeve!
Don't die with them.
Maeve.
- What is wrong with you? - Please, Maeve!
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Please take her.
Take my daughter!
- Please! Please take her! - Please.
Take her!
Oh, look at this.
- Homicide. - You got here fast.
- Yeah, it was on the squawker. - What's with the accent?
What's with yours?
You ever seen her here before?
Maybe a year ago.
It's a gang hit.
A gang hit?
- And who told you that, eh? - I'm not arguing with him.
I'm looking into it.
Excuse me.
Cheers, mate.
A-Train saw me a fucking week ago.
- What if he made me? - He didn't see you.
Listen, that's easy for you to say, Butcher, but I got people.
Oh? And I don't?
Look, Vought don't send a Supe to do a gang hit, all right?
He was after the female.
Hey, man, who was the woman?
Roberta Cho, mother of four,
loved Mexican food, and smuggled in a ton of immigrants
- from all over the Pacific. - Eh, like our girl.
A-Train, can I get a selfie?
I got it.
That wanker can cover all of Manhattan in 30 minutes.
He's gonna find her before we do.
No, he won't. I know where she's going.
Penn Station.
She's working her way backwards. She's trying to get home.
I'm Ezekiel, and I want you to join me at the BELIEVE EXPO,
June 6 to 10 at the Fairgrounds.
Sponsored by Samaritan's Embrace.
We're gonna have music,
we're gonna have worship, food trucks and,
oh, yeah, Christ.
Featuring Homelander and Starlight from The Seven.
- Hey. - I know.
Look, I'm not down to convert the masses or anything,
I'm just... I'm doing a panel for teens.
And, uh, I'm donating my appearance fee
to the Covenant House.
You are literally the nicest person in the city.
No, seriously.
Every other nice person can fuck off and go home.
I mean, that's why I do it.
Vindictive personal glory.
You okay?
Yeah, yes. Yeah.
You seem a little...
I don't know.
Hmm.
Okay.
I'll come clean.
If I'm being honest...
I'm a little suspicious of you.
You are?
Yeah. I mean, you say you bowled a lot.
And you know, you have, like, superpowers,
yet you are a remarkably shitty bowler.
You know what I think is happening?
I think you're holding back for some weird,
"not gonna show me up on a first date" reason.
You want to quit stroking my ego and show me what you really got?
Holy shit.
Now that's a strike.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's great, man.
Good looking out. Thanks.
Well? Don't leave us hanging.
Okay, so Deshawn's a brother that grew up on my block,
but now he delivers packages.
Yeah, not the part I'm interested in.
He ran down the account number
and the box containing the V came from Samaritan's Embrace.
Ezekiel's Supe charity?
What the fuck's that Jesus-thumping,
elastic bastard got to do with it?
Maybe we find the girl, we find out.
Yeah. All right.
Platforms, ground floor, I'll take upstairs.
Whoever pings her, get onto Frenchie and stick with her
till we use the gas, all right?
If you're just tuning in,
authorities have lost all radar and satellite imagery
of hijacked Flight 37 and fear the worst.
Search planes have begun to fan out
over the flight path off the Atlantic...
Non, non.
It's okay. It's gone.
It's gone, you see?
I'm not here to hurt you.
You like music, huh?
Well, me, too.
C-Can I tell you a secret I never told anyone?
When I was a boy,
my father, he stole me from Mamma.
In Marseilles, middle of the night, just broke in, took me.
Kept me with him for years.
Hotel after hotel.
Every few nights, take me out for a walk.
Smoke a Gauloise, tell me he loved me, then...
I tried to run away so many times.
I jumped buses, trains.
Anything to get back to Marseilles.
To Mamma.
But every time, he find me.
So I know what it's like to want to go home.
You see, I know your secret.
You're not a bad person.
Just a scared one.
Let me help you.
...reports of suspicious activity...
Coming through.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...
Frenchie. Did you see her? Which way did she go?
- I don't know. - Did you try to gas her?
- No. - Why not?
- It didn't seem right, huh? - You went off plan
- because it didn't seem right? - I'm sorry, okay?
Ah, Sean Jakowski. Cross-country team.
- Mm. - I had such a huge crush on him,
and he finally asked me out to this party.
My hair looked cute, we held hands, it was perfect.
Then, all of a sudden, this senior shoved Sean,
and then he hit him.
So I stepped in, I kicked the guy's ass.
- Good for you. - Mm.
Want to know how Sean thanked me?
- How? - Never spoke to me again.
Not one word.
And that's when I learned,
never show your strength to a boy you like.
Well, to be honest,
Sean Jakowski had a tiny little baby dick.
It doesn't bother you that I could whip your ass in bowling?
And in everything?
And bench-press you?
Oh, my God, is that a threat or a promise?
- Hmm. - And no. No. I-I...
I really think it's awesome, the real you.
Um, you got... ketchup.
Mm? Oh.
What? You don't like that?
Doesn't work for you?
Save my spot. I'll be right back.
- Hey. - Hey.
So where's the girl, Frenchie?
Since you're the psycho chick whisperer all of a sudden.
Maybe subway. Maybe she wants to find a train, no?
Oh, yeah? How deep up your ass did you pull that out?
Well, it depends. How deep does your tongue go?
Listen, you lost her, man.
We had orders, we're supposed to follow them.
We're professionals and we count on each other.
But you're on some fucking bohemian flaky drug shit.
Even Hughie, who's a fucking white Urkel,
- is more professional than you. - I understand it's hard
for someone who's anally OCD to understand.
Okay, then help me understand, Frenchie.
What happened the night that Mallory had you
- tail Lamplighter? - Oh, that's enough.
Mallory was our boss, man. We had orders.
And you were supposed to follow him.
You were supposed to follow Lamplighter,
- tail him, but you let him go. - I didn't know.
And Lamplighter goes and torches Mallory's grandkids.
- I didn't know. - It doesn't matter.
You didn't follow orders and it costs some lives.
Hey, hey. Knock it off.
- Knock it off. - You know what?
Fuck this, Butcher.
And fuck you. I'm done!
- Stupid fucker... - M.M., wait.
You said this time would be different.
But this motherfucker's still here doing the same old shit.
And we're all gonna fucking end up like Mallory.
- Yeah, fuck off. Come on. - Fuck this.
Oi, both of you.
- M.M. - What?
What's Sporty Spice up to?
Who?
Sporty fucking Spice. What is she up to?
I don't know.
Exactly. How about Posh?
- You know what she's doing? - I don't understand.
Making clothes for anorexics. Right?
Not exactly a growth market.
And Baby? You know what she's doing?
Fuck all. Not even page six of the Daily Mail.
And Scary Spice?
Up to her eyeballs in lawsuits and sex tapes.
Ginger, on the other hand, has released three albums.
Passion, Schizophonic and Scream If You Wanna Go Faster.
They'll all make your ears bleed.
You see, when they're apart,
they're absolute fucking rubbish.
But, you put them together,
they're the goddamn fucking Spice Girls.
How do you know so much about the Spice Girls?
Look, the point is,
that we're all shite by ourselves.
We need each other.
We need each other, or we're fucking dead in the water.
Now, you guys can beat the living fucking shit
out of each other, I really don't care,
it ain't gonna change the past.
What do you say we go find that dirty little bitch,
gas her ass, then get the fuck out of here?
Jesus, he gives the worst pep talks.
He really, really does.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
That's right.
Next stop, the Atlantic Ocean.
That's right. That's right.
What?
Okay. Okay, yeah.
I mean, let's just focus on the escape first and, uh, you know,
we can talk about that some other time.
Well, uh, I like you, too.
You know that.
But let's not, you know, rush into anything too fast.
All right, seriously, now is not the appropriate time.
Plus, you're making things awkward.
Okay, okay!
If I just touch it, will you shut up?
Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit.
I made you a promise.
Hey.
Shit...
- Let's go. - No, Frenchie.
Forget it, mate. She's fucked.
A-Train!
Over here! Look, everybody!
- It's A-Train right over here! - A-Train's here?
- No way. - Look, it's A-Train!
Hey.
Cool, look who's here.
Shit, what's up, A-Train?
A-Train, hey.
Hey, can we take a selfie?
Oh, sure, absolutely.
I can take one or two.
A-Train, over here.
No. Let me talk to her.
Don't be fucking stupid.
What if she's a Spice Girl?
Frenchie.
Let me help you go home.
She ain't no Spice Girl.
Once again, the horrific wreckage
of Trans-Oceanic Flight 37
just beginning to wash up on shore.
Every passenger on board presumed dead.
They didn't have to die.
We have Homelander and Queen Maeve on the scene.
Do you have a comment?
I said they didn't have to die.
We arrived three minutes after the plane went down.
And why?
Because we're not in the chain of command.
If NORAD called us before they scrambled jets,
then we could've saved them.
123 men, women and children.
Excuse me.
But if they let us into the military,
then this will never happen again.
That is my solemn promise to you.
Right, Maeve?
Talk to your congressmen.
Talk to them. They'll listen to the people.
And together,
together, we will make sure that this never happens
to our great nation ever again!
God bless you.
God bless America.
We hear you, Homelander!
And I hear you, brother! I hear you!
And the world hears you!
And very, very soon, my friend,
whoever did this to us will hear from all of us!
Homelander!
Homelander! Homelander!
Homelander!
Homelander! Homelander!
Homelander!
Homelander! Homelander!
Homelander!