1
00:00:13,295 --> 00:00:15,997
[rock music plays]

2
00:00:37,986 --> 00:00:40,055
[rooster squawks]

3
00:00:44,193 --> 00:00:46,695
Good evening. I'm Butt-head.

4
00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,863
[chuckling]

5
00:00:49,031 --> 00:00:49,997
[both chuckling]

6
00:00:50,132 --> 00:00:51,516
The movie you are
about to see

7
00:00:51,651 --> 00:00:54,536
will be presented using
special 3D technology.

8
00:00:54,670 --> 00:00:56,070
You will see the Jackasses

9
00:00:56,205 --> 00:00:59,040
like no human being
has ever seen them before.

10
00:01:01,010 --> 00:01:02,243
[echoing] In three dimensions.

11
00:01:05,715 --> 00:01:07,432
In order to experience
this new dimension,

12
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:11,069
you must put on the special
glasses that you were given
in the lobby.

13
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:12,787
[both chuckling]

14
00:01:12,922 --> 00:01:14,455
This is gonna be cool.

15
00:01:17,726 --> 00:01:21,846
Hmm... Uh...

16
00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:26,517
Huh! Hmm... Doesn't really
look any different, Butt-head.

17
00:01:26,652 --> 00:01:30,405
Whoa! Hey, Beavis,
look at my hand.

18
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:32,874
It's in 3D.

19
00:01:32,992 --> 00:01:36,878
[Beavis] Really? I don't see...
[screams]

20
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:40,081
Whoa! That's amazing! It
felt like you really hit me!

21
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,433
It's almost like
your hand really... Ow!

22
00:01:42,668 --> 00:01:44,636
Wow! It's amazing technology!

23
00:01:45,988 --> 00:01:47,004
[Beavis] Wait a second.

24
00:01:47,139 --> 00:01:49,173
So sit back and enjoy the movie.

25
00:01:49,308 --> 00:01:51,359
[Beavis]
That was definitely 2D.

26
00:01:51,493 --> 00:01:53,261
Dumb-ass.

27
00:01:55,130 --> 00:01:57,398
[man] Warning:
The stunts in this movie

28
00:01:57,533 --> 00:01:59,033
were performed
by professionals,

29
00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:01,703
so for your safety and the
protection of those around you,

30
00:02:01,837 --> 00:02:04,805
do not attempt any of the
stunts you're about to see.

31
00:02:04,940 --> 00:02:06,774
[glass breaking]

32
00:02:15,884 --> 00:02:20,272
[opera music plays]

33
00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:24,425
[woman singing
in foreign language]

34
00:03:00,663 --> 00:03:03,097
[vocalizing]

35
00:03:31,393 --> 00:03:34,879
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville!
Welcome to Jackass.

36
00:03:35,013 --> 00:03:38,083
[rock music plays]

37
00:03:42,038 --> 00:03:44,172
¶ We walk the streets ¶

38
00:03:45,741 --> 00:03:47,575
¶ In tattered armies ¶

39
00:03:49,078 --> 00:03:52,647
¶ We got the lion
in our heart ¶

40
00:03:55,517 --> 00:03:57,902
¶ We're not lookin'
for trouble ¶

41
00:03:59,371 --> 00:04:02,840
¶ Just for some fun ¶

42
00:04:02,975 --> 00:04:07,712
¶ But we're all ready
if you wanna start ¶

43
00:04:07,846 --> 00:04:11,482
¶ So just remember the
The kids are back ¶

44
00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:15,753
¶ The kids are back ¶

45
00:04:15,887 --> 00:04:20,325
¶ Oh, watch out
The kids are back ¶

46
00:04:23,495 --> 00:04:29,250
¶ Well, can you blame us
for living our dreams? ¶

47
00:04:30,786 --> 00:04:34,355
¶ Just look around
and you'll see why ¶

48
00:04:37,326 --> 00:04:44,265
¶ We don't want to follow
that same routine ¶

49
00:04:44,399 --> 00:04:49,036
¶ Maybe it's for nothin'
but we gotta try ¶

50
00:04:49,171 --> 00:04:53,108
¶ So just remember the
The kids are back ¶

51
00:04:54,744 --> 00:04:57,411
¶ The kids are back ¶

52
00:04:57,546 --> 00:05:01,282
¶ Oh, watch out
The kids are back ¶

53
00:05:02,718 --> 00:05:06,520
¶ So just remember the
The kids are back ¶

54
00:05:08,290 --> 00:05:10,925
¶ The kids are back ¶

55
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:15,129
¶ Oh, watch out
The kids are back ¶

56
00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:18,933
¶ The kids are back ¶

57
00:05:20,302 --> 00:05:22,370
¶ The kids are back ¶

58
00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:34,348
My name is Johnny Knoxville,
and this is the High Five.

59
00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:37,351
[laughter]

60
00:05:37,486 --> 00:05:41,021
Oh, my goodness.
Good morning!

61
00:05:42,324 --> 00:05:44,225
There? All right.

62
00:05:44,359 --> 00:05:46,194
- [Johnny] Fuck.
- [Wee Man] Oh, no.

63
00:05:50,065 --> 00:05:51,532
- Yeah, Dunn. What up, brother?
- What's up, nerd?

64
00:05:51,666 --> 00:05:53,067
- Whassup, dude?
- What's up, nerds?

65
00:05:53,769 --> 00:05:56,370
[laughter]

66
00:06:05,931 --> 00:06:08,282
Dude, you played it off
so good.

67
00:06:08,416 --> 00:06:11,085
He said, "What's up, Dunn?"

68
00:06:14,622 --> 00:06:15,990
[Johnny]
Reset, reset.

69
00:06:16,124 --> 00:06:17,992
[whispering] Ehren's walking in,
and we're gonna have him bring

70
00:06:18,126 --> 00:06:20,627
in a whole tray full of soup.

71
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,484
- How you doing, guys?
- [Wee Man] Pop it in there.

72
00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:29,036
- He's not gonna do it.
- What?

73
00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:31,105
[man] I don't think
he's gonna go for it.

74
00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:41,499
- What up, Ehren?
- What's up, dude?

75
00:06:41,633 --> 00:06:43,367
[Wee Man] Help us crowd,
brother.

76
00:06:43,502 --> 00:06:47,237
- [laughter]
- [Johnny] He fell for it!

77
00:06:53,595 --> 00:06:55,529
He fell for the soup!

78
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:01,402
Welcome back, ladies.
You got me.

79
00:07:01,536 --> 00:07:03,104
Oh, my God!

80
00:07:03,239 --> 00:07:06,006
Look at the tray!
He broke it in half, dude!

81
00:07:07,609 --> 00:07:11,412
- You can hug me for that.
- The tray broke.

82
00:07:11,580 --> 00:07:15,016
I can't believe he fell for it.
"Can you bring the soup in?"

83
00:07:15,150 --> 00:07:18,318
"We need you to bring this
tray of soup into the kitchen."

84
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:21,539
This is all flour
for our friend, Bam.

85
00:07:21,673 --> 00:07:25,176
We're gonna antique him
when he gets here.

86
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:27,344
- [Dave] Oh, OK.
- [Ryan] He's walking in.

87
00:07:29,214 --> 00:07:31,065
- [Wee Man] What's up?
- What up?

88
00:07:31,283 --> 00:07:33,618
Not much. How you been?
High five!

89
00:07:51,319 --> 00:07:53,454
That was the best one so far!

90
00:07:53,589 --> 00:07:57,257
- Oh, my God!
- You guys done kicked
my fucking ass.

91
00:07:59,194 --> 00:08:00,611
He got antiqued!

92
00:08:04,799 --> 00:08:06,767
[Bam] I was so
not ready for that.

93
00:08:06,901 --> 00:08:08,336
[Ryan] Dude, that was so
good. You went flying.

94
00:08:08,470 --> 00:08:10,454
- Good morning, man.
- Morning, Bam!

95
00:08:10,589 --> 00:08:14,525
Howdy. Goddamn!

96
00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:17,228
Not too many people knew us
back in our college days,

97
00:08:17,362 --> 00:08:18,963
but, man, we were wild!

98
00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:21,365
I mean, we were having
wet T-shirt contests,

99
00:08:21,499 --> 00:08:24,202
bitchin' summers,
body shots...

100
00:08:25,470 --> 00:08:28,072
...cornholin'...

101
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:32,076
And Johnny Knoxville,
the king of spring break!

102
00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:36,547
[all] Toga! Toga! Toga!
Toga! Toga!

103
00:08:36,681 --> 00:08:39,083
[screaming]

104
00:08:39,168 --> 00:08:42,569
I'm Johnny Knoxville.
This is the Jet Ski.

105
00:08:49,211 --> 00:08:51,546
- [cheering]
- [laughter]

106
00:08:53,782 --> 00:08:55,049
Dude!

107
00:08:55,183 --> 00:08:57,885
- Holy shit!
- [cheering]

108
00:09:02,874 --> 00:09:05,726
[Wee Man] You just barely
clipped the top.

109
00:09:09,714 --> 00:09:11,015
He totally landed it.

110
00:09:11,116 --> 00:09:14,635
- How far did I go?
- You went far, man.

111
00:09:14,769 --> 00:09:16,270
[Chris] I was scared, man.

112
00:09:16,404 --> 00:09:18,306
I've seen a lot of crazy shit
during spring break,

113
00:09:18,323 --> 00:09:19,490
and that took the cake, man.

114
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,476
I didn't exactly stick
the fuckin' landing.

115
00:09:21,610 --> 00:09:23,310
- No. I think you did.
- Yeah, you did!

116
00:09:23,445 --> 00:09:25,747
The king of spring break!

117
00:09:32,554 --> 00:09:35,506
Shit. Dude, I knew
we shouldn't have done this

118
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,141
at my fuckin' dad's house.

119
00:09:37,276 --> 00:09:39,243
He's already pissed about me
fuckin' skipping school.

120
00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:40,711
He's gonna cut me off.

121
00:09:41,947 --> 00:09:44,215
That's coming
out of my allowance.

122
00:09:54,576 --> 00:09:56,911
I'm Steve-O... Oh, fuck!

123
00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:04,785
Why do I have to be Steve-O?

124
00:10:06,454 --> 00:10:08,856
- [Bam] It'll be so quick.
- [Johnny] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

125
00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:10,490
You got it.

126
00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:15,462
I'm Steve-O...

127
00:10:15,597 --> 00:10:17,398
...and this is Tee Ball.

128
00:10:22,070 --> 00:10:23,938
[all shouting]

129
00:10:26,241 --> 00:10:27,942
That was a direct
ding-ding hit.

130
00:10:33,781 --> 00:10:36,600
It's only getting
worse and worse.

131
00:10:39,738 --> 00:10:43,240
You're the best fielder
I ever saw, Steve-O.

132
00:10:43,374 --> 00:10:45,409
Great job.

133
00:10:46,745 --> 00:10:48,879
Right down the middle.

134
00:10:49,014 --> 00:10:50,614
Line drive.

135
00:10:52,734 --> 00:10:55,436
I'm Dave England,
and this is the Bungee Boogie.

136
00:10:57,839 --> 00:10:58,905
Go.

137
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,208
[mid-tempo music plays]

138
00:11:01,343 --> 00:11:03,577
¶ I drove my bicycle
past your window last night ¶

139
00:11:03,711 --> 00:11:05,012
That was thrilling.

140
00:11:05,147 --> 00:11:07,648
- [Dave] What the fuck?
- Let's try it again!

141
00:11:07,783 --> 00:11:09,650
Let go.

142
00:11:09,818 --> 00:11:12,570
¶ It almost seems like
you're avoiding me ¶

143
00:11:12,705 --> 00:11:15,539
Shit! Ow!

144
00:11:15,657 --> 00:11:17,658
¶ I'm OK alone
but you got something I need ¶

145
00:11:17,792 --> 00:11:21,195
- You OK, dude?
- Yeah, super good.

146
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:24,464
¶ Well, I got a brand-new
pair of roller skates ¶

147
00:11:24,599 --> 00:11:26,633
¶ You got a brand-new key ¶

148
00:11:26,768 --> 00:11:28,535
¶ I think that
we should get together ¶

149
00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:29,787
- [Bam] Ready?
- OK.

150
00:11:29,921 --> 00:11:32,273
¶ And try them out to see ¶

151
00:11:32,407 --> 00:11:36,978
¶ I been looking around a while
You got something for me ¶

152
00:11:37,112 --> 00:11:38,612
My lip.

153
00:11:38,746 --> 00:11:41,449
¶ Oh, I got a brand-new pair
of roller skates ¶

154
00:11:41,583 --> 00:11:44,017
¶ You got a brand-new key ¶

155
00:11:46,187 --> 00:11:48,922
¶ I ride my bike
I roller-skate ¶

156
00:11:49,057 --> 00:11:51,124
¶ Don't drive no car ¶

157
00:11:51,259 --> 00:11:56,897
¶ Don't go too fast
but I go pretty far ¶

158
00:11:57,031 --> 00:12:02,102
¶ For somebody who don't drive
I been all around the world ¶

159
00:12:02,254 --> 00:12:05,289
- Here we go.
- Tell us when.

160
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,825
- Go ahead.
- Step... go!

161
00:12:07,959 --> 00:12:09,460
¶ Oh, yeah, yeah ¶

162
00:12:09,594 --> 00:12:11,862
[cheering]

163
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,400
That was actually
pretty impressive.

164
00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:19,970
I mean, it wasn't a slam,
but it was still pretty
impressive.

165
00:12:20,105 --> 00:12:25,176
Um... But this is
really impressive.

166
00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:27,345
- Ready?
- This seems dangerous.

167
00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:28,963
And go!

168
00:12:29,097 --> 00:12:33,934
- [screams]
- ¶ But you weren't alone ¶

169
00:12:34,069 --> 00:12:38,472
¶ Sometimes I think
that you're avoiding me ¶

170
00:12:38,606 --> 00:12:41,675
Fuck the helmet,
give me a back brace.

171
00:12:41,809 --> 00:12:45,079
Man, you ate shit!

172
00:12:45,213 --> 00:12:48,099
- Well, that worked.
- I thought you had that.

173
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,117
And go!

174
00:12:50,252 --> 00:12:53,487
¶ I think that we should
get together ¶

175
00:12:53,622 --> 00:12:57,324
¶ And try them out to see ¶
[vocalizing]

176
00:12:57,509 --> 00:12:59,760
[man] Hey!
There goes the pool!

177
00:13:01,496 --> 00:13:02,829
[laughter]

178
00:13:02,964 --> 00:13:05,165
¶ Oh, I got a brand-new
pair of roller skates ¶

179
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:08,569
¶ You got a brand-new key ¶

180
00:13:08,703 --> 00:13:12,472
[Wee Man] Preston.
That was awesome.

181
00:13:13,775 --> 00:13:15,309
...start to see me on TV...

182
00:13:15,443 --> 00:13:20,681
[Rocky theme plays]

183
00:13:49,444 --> 00:13:51,311
[man 1] How many bees are
we working with here today?

184
00:13:51,446 --> 00:13:53,447
[man 2] Each hive,
probably anywhere from
ten to 50,000 bees.

185
00:13:53,581 --> 00:13:56,317
They are Africanized, so they
will be a little bit more testy.

186
00:13:56,485 --> 00:13:58,552
What do you think
the chances are of these guys
getting stung today?

187
00:13:58,687 --> 00:14:01,254
They're gonna get stung.
There's no doubt in my mind.

188
00:14:01,389 --> 00:14:03,557
When you hit a ball full of
bees, you're gonna get stung.

189
00:14:03,692 --> 00:14:06,960
How many bee stings
do you think we can take?

190
00:14:07,094 --> 00:14:09,430
I think it takes about
a hundred to kill a man.

191
00:14:09,564 --> 00:14:12,566
- What?!
- There's 50,000 bees in there.

192
00:14:12,701 --> 00:14:14,568
Did you just
make that up, please?

193
00:14:14,703 --> 00:14:16,970
- [Manny] I don't think
I made it up.
- What?!

194
00:14:17,104 --> 00:14:18,672
[Jason] There's 50,000
per hive.

195
00:14:18,807 --> 00:14:20,974
50,000 and it takes
100 to kill a man?

196
00:14:21,108 --> 00:14:23,711
I think it's about
a hundred bees can kill you,
if I'm not mistaken.

197
00:14:23,845 --> 00:14:27,881
- What are we doing here?
- [Jason] Making a hit movie.

198
00:14:28,016 --> 00:14:30,517
[Jeff] Go for 99
and then take off.

199
00:14:32,187 --> 00:14:34,171
[bees buzzing]

200
00:14:36,541 --> 00:14:37,841
[Dave] That's gotta
piss 'em off too, right,

201
00:14:37,976 --> 00:14:41,044
- just being poured in there?
- [Manny] Oh, maybe.

202
00:14:41,313 --> 00:14:44,114
I'm starting to think
that maybe this wasn't
that good of an idea.

203
00:14:44,248 --> 00:14:46,316
It seemed good on paper.

204
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:48,586
[Manny]
Look at this.

205
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,270
This is gonna be
gnarly now, man.

206
00:14:50,405 --> 00:14:53,340
- Come on, go. Let's go.
- Whoa. No, I'm getting hit.

207
00:14:53,474 --> 00:14:55,509
- Oh, shit.
- Come on, Manny.

208
00:14:55,643 --> 00:14:58,145
[screaming]

209
00:14:59,214 --> 00:15:01,481
Go on! Do it!
Do it! Do it!

210
00:15:01,616 --> 00:15:03,684
Do it! Fucking do it!

211
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:07,354
Got a butt-ton of bees!
My two sexy players,

212
00:15:07,488 --> 00:15:09,489
this is Beehive Tetherball!

213
00:15:09,624 --> 00:15:10,624
Game on!

214
00:15:12,427 --> 00:15:13,944
[Loomis] Game on!

215
00:15:14,078 --> 00:15:16,196
[all screaming]

216
00:15:22,303 --> 00:15:24,237
Oh, fucking shit!

217
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:27,741
I can't do it anymore!

218
00:15:28,676 --> 00:15:30,961
Shit! Fuck! Goddamn it!

219
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:34,932
Fuck! Oh, shit!

220
00:15:35,066 --> 00:15:37,401
He's gonna win!

221
00:15:37,536 --> 00:15:39,570
- Steve-O!
- Fuck!

222
00:15:39,904 --> 00:15:42,255
- [Steve-O] Shit! Oh, fuck!
- [man] Stay with Dave.
Go with Dave.

223
00:15:47,045 --> 00:15:49,346
[Manny] Loomis,
come retrieve the ball.

224
00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:52,833
[moaning] Oh, fuck!

225
00:15:52,967 --> 00:15:55,135
Oh, dude, it fucking hurts!

226
00:15:57,104 --> 00:15:59,873
Oh, my God! Oh, fuck!

227
00:16:02,193 --> 00:16:04,044
Please put me somewhere
where there's no bees!

228
00:16:04,178 --> 00:16:06,547
It's the carbon dioxide.

229
00:16:06,681 --> 00:16:09,015
[Manny] Your body heated up,
so they targeted you.

230
00:16:09,150 --> 00:16:11,819
- You took it really good, man.
- I am so fucking hurt!

231
00:16:11,953 --> 00:16:13,787
You were running around
on carbon dioxide.

232
00:16:13,922 --> 00:16:17,223
- Look at your eye.
- [screaming]

233
00:16:17,292 --> 00:16:18,575
The thing is that Dave
doesn't understand

234
00:16:18,710 --> 00:16:22,079
is that the more you freak out,
the more you get stung.

235
00:16:22,213 --> 00:16:23,280
Idiot!

236
00:16:24,615 --> 00:16:27,968
[orchestral music plays]

237
00:17:19,487 --> 00:17:23,107
That felt like somebody was
blowing a fireball in my face.

238
00:17:23,241 --> 00:17:26,193
It looked like you were
just getting the hell
beat out of you.

239
00:17:26,327 --> 00:17:27,861
You can't fucking breathe.

240
00:17:27,996 --> 00:17:30,197
[rock music plays]

241
00:17:30,282 --> 00:17:33,717
¶ It can't be right
what I'm reading here ¶

242
00:17:33,851 --> 00:17:36,519
¶ No one believes
in all this stuff no more ¶

243
00:17:36,654 --> 00:17:39,473
¶ Our ideas
don't see eye to eye ¶

244
00:17:39,607 --> 00:17:41,842
¶ You get your press
with a pocketful of lies ¶

245
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,895
¶ Telling everybody
every word is true ¶

246
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:46,630
¶ One day soon ¶

247
00:17:46,798 --> 00:17:49,416
Waiter? Can I get
some cream for my coffee?

248
00:17:49,634 --> 00:17:51,001
[shouts]

249
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,802
¶ I got your number ¶

250
00:17:52,937 --> 00:17:57,390
¶ You can fool some people
some part of the time ¶

251
00:17:57,526 --> 00:17:59,076
¶ I got your number ¶

252
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:03,380
¶ I ain't ever gonna tow
that particular party line ¶

253
00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:06,717
¶ You think you're so special ¶

254
00:18:06,851 --> 00:18:09,603
¶ But you're only fooling ¶

255
00:18:09,738 --> 00:18:14,274
¶ Tell your lies
to anyone but me ¶

256
00:18:14,409 --> 00:18:19,012
¶ 'Cause I can
see through you ¶

257
00:18:19,147 --> 00:18:21,047
¶ I got your number ¶

258
00:18:21,182 --> 00:18:25,102
¶ You can fool some people
some part of the time ¶

259
00:18:25,220 --> 00:18:26,770
¶ I got your number ¶

260
00:18:26,904 --> 00:18:31,575
¶ I ain't ever gonna tow
that particular party line ¶

261
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:33,727
¶ Listen to me ¶

262
00:18:33,861 --> 00:18:35,595
¶ I got your number
Got your number ¶

263
00:18:35,730 --> 00:18:39,132
¶ You can fool some people
some part of the time ¶

264
00:18:39,267 --> 00:18:40,868
¶ Well, I got your number ¶

265
00:18:41,002 --> 00:18:46,073
¶ I ain't ever gonna tow
that particular party line ¶

266
00:18:46,207 --> 00:18:48,708
[laughter]

267
00:18:56,767 --> 00:19:00,103
That's the story
of Jackass right there.

268
00:19:00,238 --> 00:19:01,805
Just pissing in the wind.

269
00:19:11,832 --> 00:19:13,800
Hey, buddy, would you mind
watching my dog for a second

270
00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:17,070
while I run in there?
Thanks. I'll be right back.

271
00:19:17,204 --> 00:19:18,538
Thank you, buddy.

272
00:19:33,638 --> 00:19:35,872
Thanks, bud.

273
00:19:36,007 --> 00:19:37,908
Thank you very much
for watching my dog.

274
00:19:51,789 --> 00:19:56,159
My name is Johnny Knoxville,
and this is Roller Buffalo.

275
00:19:56,294 --> 00:19:59,095
[country music plays]

276
00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:01,865
¶ You can't roller skate
in a buffalo herd ¶

277
00:20:01,999 --> 00:20:04,351
¶ You can't roller skate
in a buffalo herd ¶

278
00:20:04,486 --> 00:20:07,020
¶ But you can be happy
if you've a mind to ¶

279
00:20:07,154 --> 00:20:09,340
¶ All ya gotta do
is put your mind to it ¶

280
00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:12,659
¶ Knuckle down, buckle down
do it, do it, do it ¶

281
00:20:12,777 --> 00:20:15,446
¶ Well, you can't roller skate
in a buffalo herd ¶

282
00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:18,148
¶ Can't roller skate
in a buffalo herd ¶

283
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:21,051
¶ You can't roller skate
in a buffalo herd ¶

284
00:20:20,935 --> 00:20:23,903
¶ But you can be happy
if you've a mind to ¶

285
00:20:24,038 --> 00:20:26,005
[all shouting]

286
00:20:27,992 --> 00:20:29,860
You're the man!

287
00:20:29,994 --> 00:20:32,463
[indistinct chattering]

288
00:20:34,999 --> 00:20:37,334
We're not worthy.

289
00:20:40,355 --> 00:20:41,739
[man speaks indistinctly]

290
00:20:43,424 --> 00:20:47,327
[Johnny] Oh, man.
Let me get over here.

291
00:20:47,362 --> 00:20:50,046
- What'd it feel like?
- It felt like shit.

292
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,984
It felt like I got run over
by a buffalo.

293
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:58,622
[slow-tempo music plays]

294
00:20:58,756 --> 00:21:00,090
[train whistle]

295
00:21:08,283 --> 00:21:11,551
- [rumbling]
- [laughter]

296
00:21:16,157 --> 00:21:17,841
It's in my mouth!

297
00:21:19,143 --> 00:21:22,212
Get me out of here!
Get me out!

298
00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:24,013
[man] Ehren, stay here!

299
00:21:24,148 --> 00:21:28,251
[retching]

300
00:21:28,386 --> 00:21:30,070
[Johnny] Think we need
to get him out from there?!

301
00:21:30,204 --> 00:21:33,073
Let's get him!
Get it off of him.

302
00:21:33,207 --> 00:21:36,977
- [Dave] Ehren, stay out here!
- [Steve-O] All right!

303
00:21:37,111 --> 00:21:39,212
Lance...
Hold it together, Lance!

304
00:21:42,150 --> 00:21:44,818
[Jeff] Pull out! OK,
pull out! pull out!

305
00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:51,959
- [Dave] Did I get the shot?
- [Jeff] You got the shot,
dude.

306
00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:53,760
[Dave] So it went high?
Like a volcano?

307
00:21:53,894 --> 00:21:55,795
[Preston] You got a good
three feet.

308
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,215
- Three foot?
- [Johnny] Yeah,
that one had some power.

309
00:21:58,350 --> 00:22:01,418
- It was like a full-on volcano?
- [Jeff] Absolutely.

310
00:22:02,937 --> 00:22:05,706
[country music plays]

311
00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:09,175
Don't say anything.

312
00:22:16,618 --> 00:22:20,437
- What would your flavors be?
- Two Budweisers.

313
00:22:23,808 --> 00:22:25,925
What do I owe you?

314
00:22:26,060 --> 00:22:28,245
[bartender]
Six-fifty, please.

315
00:22:28,379 --> 00:22:30,847
- Keep the change.
- Thank you, dear.

316
00:22:30,981 --> 00:22:34,851
- Cheers. Boop!
- Cheers.

317
00:22:34,985 --> 00:22:36,687
[woman] So what's the plan?

318
00:22:36,821 --> 00:22:40,591
[Wee Man] I don't know.
Go down to the beach or
something... hit the water.

319
00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:44,260
[woman] You tried it?

320
00:22:44,429 --> 00:22:48,198
Tara!
What the fuck are you doing?

321
00:22:50,968 --> 00:22:53,103
What the fuck?!

322
00:22:53,238 --> 00:22:55,138
- Who the fuck are you?
- Who are you?

323
00:22:55,273 --> 00:22:57,341
I'm her frickin'
boyfriend, asshole!

324
00:22:57,475 --> 00:23:00,009
That's cool, bud.
I'm her man-friend.

325
00:23:00,144 --> 00:23:02,946
Dude, don't push me.
Don't push me.

326
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,264
I'm not even touching you.

327
00:23:04,482 --> 00:23:06,616
You know what? Fuck both of you!
Fuck both of you!

328
00:23:06,751 --> 00:23:08,351
[bartender] Calm down now.

329
00:23:08,503 --> 00:23:11,872
So...

330
00:23:12,006 --> 00:23:15,108
He and I are
taking a break and...

331
00:23:18,312 --> 00:23:19,980
Right in here.

332
00:23:20,648 --> 00:23:21,948
Right in here.

333
00:23:22,133 --> 00:23:25,785
Fuck you! I told you
to get the fuck away!

334
00:23:25,937 --> 00:23:30,174
- Don't push him, man!
- Stop! Stop! Stop!

335
00:23:30,308 --> 00:23:32,509
Get your ass down!

336
00:23:32,644 --> 00:23:35,579
Keep your punk ass down,
you hunk of shit!

337
00:23:35,780 --> 00:23:38,097
Get him, Pop!
Get him, Poppy!

338
00:23:38,232 --> 00:23:40,934
- [indistinct shouting]
- Get his ass down!

339
00:23:41,068 --> 00:23:42,653
Get off of him! Stop!

340
00:23:45,055 --> 00:23:49,058
Police! Get on the fucking
ground! Get on the ground!

341
00:23:49,193 --> 00:23:51,461
Freeze! Everybody
up against the wall!

342
00:23:51,546 --> 00:23:54,364
- Up against the wall!
- Get the fuck off me!

343
00:23:54,499 --> 00:23:56,265
What the fuck
are you doing?!

344
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,102
Get him up. Get him up!

345
00:23:59,236 --> 00:24:02,021
Freeze, motherfucker!
Get your hands behind your back!

346
00:24:03,224 --> 00:24:06,259
- Let's go, babe!
- Fucking get off me!

347
00:24:06,394 --> 00:24:08,995
Code 54!
Paramedic! Paramedic!

348
00:24:09,213 --> 00:24:12,782
Get the fuck off me!
Get him off me!

349
00:24:12,934 --> 00:24:16,119
- Get the fuck off me!
- Shut up! Shut up!

350
00:24:16,087 --> 00:24:17,704
Look at them two.

351
00:24:21,759 --> 00:24:24,695
Big boy. Wait.
He can walk?

352
00:24:25,362 --> 00:24:26,530
OK.

353
00:24:30,084 --> 00:24:31,551
What was that all about?

354
00:24:31,685 --> 00:24:33,653
What the hell was
all that about?

355
00:24:33,838 --> 00:24:38,225
I don't know! A bunch of midgets
come in and start fighting!

356
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:42,663
- I don't know what happened.
- That was wild!

357
00:24:42,797 --> 00:24:45,165
And the cops came in!
I can't believe it.

358
00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:47,133
Little miniature cops.

359
00:24:54,274 --> 00:24:56,076
[Bam] Here comes Dunn.
[snickers]

360
00:25:06,621 --> 00:25:08,955
[explosion]

361
00:25:10,925 --> 00:25:13,359
[laughter]

362
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,348
No fucking way, dude!

363
00:25:21,219 --> 00:25:24,487
- Oh, my God.
- [Ryan] Is there blue on me?

364
00:25:24,622 --> 00:25:26,022
I am so happy.

365
00:25:26,156 --> 00:25:29,392
- There's a lot of blue.
- Dude, that thing goes!

366
00:25:31,095 --> 00:25:33,380
[electrical crackling]

367
00:25:33,514 --> 00:25:34,514
Fuck!

368
00:25:37,051 --> 00:25:40,120
[Bam] Dude, the sound of it
is just fucking terrifying.

369
00:25:40,254 --> 00:25:43,222
This sucks. Oh, man.

370
00:25:48,112 --> 00:25:50,647
[man] Its bark is worse
than its bite, Ehren.

371
00:25:52,550 --> 00:25:54,284
Due to prison overpopulation,

372
00:25:54,419 --> 00:25:56,753
we're gonna give these boys
here a chance to escape.

373
00:25:56,888 --> 00:26:00,724
This side represents
incarceration,
that side, freedom.

374
00:26:00,858 --> 00:26:03,143
This is Electric Avenue.

375
00:26:03,277 --> 00:26:05,028
[pop music plays]

376
00:26:05,162 --> 00:26:08,865
[Johnny] Each one of these
stun guns has 950,000 volts.

377
00:26:09,017 --> 00:26:11,184
There's 15 of 'em hanging here,
plus four cattle prods.

378
00:26:11,318 --> 00:26:12,986
[chuckling] Good luck, fellas!

379
00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:14,754
Go!

380
00:26:14,889 --> 00:26:17,090
- Go, go, go!
- Fuck!

381
00:26:17,225 --> 00:26:20,143
Fuck, I'm gonna pass out, man.
I'm gonna fucking pass out.

382
00:26:20,278 --> 00:26:23,113
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.

383
00:26:23,281 --> 00:26:24,631
¶ And I can't blame
all on the sun ¶

384
00:26:24,765 --> 00:26:26,032
Go, go, go!

385
00:26:26,166 --> 00:26:28,835
[screaming]

386
00:26:28,969 --> 00:26:32,905
¶ We gonna rock down
to Electric Avenue ¶

387
00:26:33,041 --> 00:26:34,825
¶ And then
we'll take it higher ¶

388
00:26:34,959 --> 00:26:38,060
- ¶ Oh, we gonna rock down to ¶
- Fuck, that sucked!

389
00:26:38,162 --> 00:26:41,247
- ¶ Electric Avenue ¶
- Fuck!

390
00:26:41,382 --> 00:26:42,866
¶ And then
we'll take it higher ¶

391
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,485
¶ Oh, no ¶

392
00:26:47,538 --> 00:26:49,856
- ¶ Oh, no ¶
- Sucks doody!

393
00:26:50,557 --> 00:26:52,509
¶ Oh, no ¶

394
00:26:52,644 --> 00:26:56,212
¶ We gonna rock down to
Electric Avenue ¶

395
00:26:56,347 --> 00:26:58,482
¶ And then we'll
take it higher ¶

396
00:26:58,616 --> 00:27:01,718
¶ Oh! We gonna rock
down to Electric Avenue ¶

397
00:27:01,852 --> 00:27:05,888
- [Jeff] How do you feel?
- I changed my mind.

398
00:27:06,023 --> 00:27:09,292
Stun guns are the number one
most thing that I hate now.

399
00:27:09,343 --> 00:27:11,661
Bulls are second,
snakes are third.

400
00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:14,230
That sucked! Terribly.

401
00:27:16,250 --> 00:27:17,183
[whistle blows]

402
00:27:25,192 --> 00:27:28,094
I'm Preston Lacy here
with pro kicker Josh Brown,

403
00:27:28,229 --> 00:27:30,764
and this is the Field Goal.

404
00:27:34,185 --> 00:27:36,068
[whistle blows]

405
00:27:41,375 --> 00:27:42,675
[grunts]

406
00:27:44,711 --> 00:27:45,778
Kick!

407
00:27:47,448 --> 00:27:49,349
Wow, that was a good kick.

408
00:27:49,483 --> 00:27:50,767
[Johnny] Was that right in
the puss?

409
00:27:50,901 --> 00:27:52,369
[Preston] Right on the
kisser.

410
00:27:56,374 --> 00:27:58,175
[groaning] Oh, fuck.

411
00:27:58,309 --> 00:27:59,676
My mouth.

412
00:27:59,877 --> 00:28:00,660
Fuck!

413
00:28:00,794 --> 00:28:02,962
[moaning]

414
00:28:06,467 --> 00:28:08,535
I love you, buddy.
Thank you.

415
00:28:10,605 --> 00:28:14,407
Pro football star Josh Brown.
I love you, buddy. Right here.

416
00:28:14,542 --> 00:28:15,808
Fucking A!

417
00:28:15,943 --> 00:28:17,810
- On my mouth.
- You're a man.

418
00:28:20,565 --> 00:28:22,866
April, what kind
of glue is this?

419
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,169
- Super Mighty Glue.
- This is Super Mighty Glue,

420
00:28:26,303 --> 00:28:28,705
and we're going to have
a little fun with it today.

421
00:28:28,839 --> 00:28:32,108
Uh...
Who's got tummy hair?

422
00:28:32,242 --> 00:28:33,643
Not me.

423
00:28:35,379 --> 00:28:38,464
- You have tummy hair?
- I have a fraction.

424
00:28:38,515 --> 00:28:42,951
- [stuttering]
- [man] That's definitely
tummy hair.

425
00:28:43,086 --> 00:28:44,419
[Johnny] That's tummy hair.

426
00:28:44,553 --> 00:28:46,822
- You guys got tummy hair.
- [man] Now we're talking.

427
00:28:46,956 --> 00:28:50,959
[Johnny] Looks like we got
cast for this bit.

428
00:28:51,044 --> 00:28:53,412
- Don't get it on his fingers.
- You don't need a lot,
they say.

429
00:28:53,546 --> 00:28:57,649
A dab'll do ya. [gasps]
Oh, Knoxville, Jesus!

430
00:28:57,784 --> 00:28:59,551
No, I think
this is gonna work.

431
00:28:59,686 --> 00:29:01,486
- All right. We ready?
- [indistinct chatter]

432
00:29:01,620 --> 00:29:02,620
Ready, then?

433
00:29:03,355 --> 00:29:05,356
Oh, my God!

434
00:29:05,491 --> 00:29:07,292
Now. Oh, my God!

435
00:29:07,426 --> 00:29:09,995
Keep it on there. Keep it on.
Keep it on there.

436
00:29:10,113 --> 00:29:11,563
[Bam] Dude, it's gonna
take my skin off.

437
00:29:11,697 --> 00:29:12,931
[Johnny] You're gonna
have hairy palms.

438
00:29:13,066 --> 00:29:15,334
[laughter]

439
00:29:15,535 --> 00:29:17,152
Wait. I kind of like it
when Preston says...

440
00:29:17,287 --> 00:29:19,054
Ow! Fuck!

441
00:29:19,189 --> 00:29:22,324
- [laughter]
- [man] It's not moving.

442
00:29:22,409 --> 00:29:24,642
What do you like
Preston to say?

443
00:29:24,777 --> 00:29:26,845
[groaning]

444
00:29:26,980 --> 00:29:29,047
Get a little
symphony going.

445
00:29:30,133 --> 00:29:32,618
[both shouting]

446
00:29:36,222 --> 00:29:37,456
Fuck!

447
00:29:37,590 --> 00:29:39,024
Dude, this is in.

448
00:29:39,158 --> 00:29:40,526
[Johnny]
Should they pull it?

449
00:29:40,660 --> 00:29:42,728
We don't need anymore time,
dude. It is in.

450
00:29:42,862 --> 00:29:45,531
You got at least
15 grams of super glue.

451
00:29:45,665 --> 00:29:46,915
- Pull it! Pull it!
- Really?

452
00:29:47,050 --> 00:29:49,618
- Three, two, one...
- Skin's coming, I know it.
Go, Bam!

453
00:29:49,753 --> 00:29:52,154
[all shouting]

454
00:29:58,327 --> 00:29:59,828
He's a werewolf!

455
00:29:59,963 --> 00:30:00,963
Werewolf!

456
00:30:04,868 --> 00:30:07,886
That is mingin'-ass Phil's.

457
00:30:08,020 --> 00:30:11,557
Preston's pretty gross,
but that is disgusting!

458
00:30:14,293 --> 00:30:15,861
Wow!

459
00:30:22,618 --> 00:30:25,520
No, don't pour that
on your boo-boo hand.

460
00:30:25,654 --> 00:30:28,523
[laughter]

461
00:30:36,699 --> 00:30:39,601
- [Bam] It stings.
- That's gotta hurt.

462
00:30:39,736 --> 00:30:42,471
[Spike] Hey, Dunn. Do you have
any hair on your butt?

463
00:30:42,605 --> 00:30:45,140
- No.
- Do you want some?

464
00:30:45,275 --> 00:30:47,976
I'm thinking I'm about
due for a hairy ass, yeah.

465
00:30:48,111 --> 00:30:50,379
I'm in my 30s, it hasn't
grown in natural yet.

466
00:30:50,513 --> 00:30:51,880
So I think we're gonna
have to do a transplant.

467
00:30:52,014 --> 00:30:53,949
Phil, can I borrow
some of your back hair?

468
00:30:54,084 --> 00:30:56,017
Yeah, like having you
sit on my back?

469
00:30:56,152 --> 00:30:57,752
I'm thinking about
becoming a real man.

470
00:30:57,887 --> 00:30:59,821
Sure, I'll lay down
and you can sit on it.

471
00:30:59,973 --> 00:31:02,474
- OK, Rake.
- [man] You ready to go?
Let's do it.

472
00:31:02,608 --> 00:31:04,242
[Rake] Ryan, do you
shave your ass?

473
00:31:04,377 --> 00:31:07,879
Shave my... Look at me!
Do I shave my ass?

474
00:31:08,014 --> 00:31:10,164
I don't know what
a razor feels like.

475
00:31:10,266 --> 00:31:12,451
[Johnny] Apparently, you don't
know what toilet paper feels
like either.

476
00:31:12,585 --> 00:31:14,753
- [Ryan] I don't!
- [Johnny] Make sure it's clean.

477
00:31:14,888 --> 00:31:16,354
[man] All right, go, go, go!
You gotta sit!

478
00:31:16,489 --> 00:31:18,891
- Sit! Sit! Sit!
- [man] Sit down.

479
00:31:19,025 --> 00:31:21,794
[laughter]

480
00:31:24,130 --> 00:31:26,165
Time it, two minutes
on the clock.

481
00:31:28,451 --> 00:31:30,152
- [Johnny] Phil, you all right
down there?
- [Phil] Yeah.

482
00:31:30,286 --> 00:31:32,721
- [Ryan] Consider this
a bonding experience.
- [Phil] Okay.

483
00:31:32,856 --> 00:31:34,089
[Rake] You got about 30 seconds.

484
00:31:34,223 --> 00:31:36,307
Well, if I can't get
Phil's hair off of me,

485
00:31:36,442 --> 00:31:40,044
then, you know, I'd really
rather prefer a ZZ Top beard.

486
00:31:40,179 --> 00:31:43,031
[all shouting]

487
00:31:43,166 --> 00:31:48,536
[screaming] Fucking asshole!
You dickhead!

488
00:31:48,671 --> 00:31:51,039
- [Rake] That's not gonna
come off.
- No fucking shit!

489
00:31:51,174 --> 00:31:52,740
That's not
gonna come off.

490
00:31:52,842 --> 00:31:55,277
It's going to come off.
It's going to come off.

491
00:31:55,411 --> 00:31:58,280
- [screaming] Ow!
- [laughter]

492
00:31:58,414 --> 00:32:01,082
[Ryan] You fucking,
fucking pricks.

493
00:32:01,234 --> 00:32:03,685
- Okay, Dunn, stand up.
- [Wee Man] Dunn,
you're up. Stand up.

494
00:32:03,819 --> 00:32:04,986
Let's see if you got
some hair on your butt.

495
00:32:05,121 --> 00:32:07,756
- [April] Ready? Go.
- One, two...

496
00:32:07,890 --> 00:32:11,343
[laughter]

497
00:32:11,477 --> 00:32:13,812
- [Phil] What the hell?
- [Spike] Your butt
looks 80 years old.

498
00:32:13,946 --> 00:32:17,583
- [Ryan] Does it?
- [Preston] Somebody
should iron you.

499
00:32:17,717 --> 00:32:19,718
- [Johnny] Look at Phil's back.
- [man] Let me see.

500
00:32:19,852 --> 00:32:21,903
Oh, man, you're missing
a lot of hair in there.

501
00:32:22,038 --> 00:32:23,672
But no doo-doo
stains, right?

502
00:32:23,806 --> 00:32:25,240
- [Wee Man] No.
- Not so much.

503
00:32:25,375 --> 00:32:26,441
All right, good.

504
00:32:26,576 --> 00:32:28,126
Why'd you grip it like that?

505
00:32:28,261 --> 00:32:31,263
Why you biting off
of Preston's steez
by going...?

506
00:32:31,397 --> 00:32:33,015
[screaming]

507
00:32:33,149 --> 00:32:34,699
[laughter]

508
00:32:34,833 --> 00:32:36,501
[man] Wait a minute, hold
those scissors down.

509
00:32:36,635 --> 00:32:40,305
[Ryan] Oh, you son of a bitch.

510
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,257
I have a free hand.

511
00:32:42,391 --> 00:32:46,228
- [laughter]
- [Johnny] Uh-oh... Hello!

512
00:32:47,496 --> 00:32:48,963
Here, I'll be like
this to catch him.

513
00:32:49,098 --> 00:32:50,482
[Phil] All right, you catch
him.

514
00:32:50,616 --> 00:32:51,683
[April] Ryan, do you want your
pants up, first?

515
00:32:51,818 --> 00:32:53,786
- [Johnny] Catch me.
- [Wee Man] Catch Knox.

516
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:56,188
- [Spike] Grab Bam.
- [man] No, keep your pants
down.

517
00:32:56,322 --> 00:32:57,722
I don't want my balls
hanging out.

518
00:32:57,857 --> 00:33:00,259
Ready then?
Three...

519
00:33:00,393 --> 00:33:02,094
Man, this is gonna suck.

520
00:33:02,228 --> 00:33:04,596
Three, two, go.

521
00:33:04,730 --> 00:33:08,633
[screaming]

522
00:33:08,768 --> 00:33:12,938
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

523
00:33:13,072 --> 00:33:16,341
Fuck me, man.

524
00:33:16,475 --> 00:33:19,461
Oh, what a bunch of dicks.

525
00:33:19,595 --> 00:33:21,263
[man] That's worse than Phil.

526
00:33:23,233 --> 00:33:25,684
All right. Wee Man,
what are you doing?

527
00:33:25,819 --> 00:33:27,619
You take the cake, bub.

528
00:33:27,753 --> 00:33:29,587
You won't come out that easy.

529
00:33:29,923 --> 00:33:32,807
Why don't you want to glue
Wee Man to Preston?

530
00:33:35,678 --> 00:33:38,396
- Yes.
- I should lay down,

531
00:33:38,530 --> 00:33:40,198
and you should
lay down on top of me.

532
00:33:40,333 --> 00:33:42,600
- Woof.
- Going right for it.

533
00:33:42,734 --> 00:33:44,735
Like this?

534
00:33:44,870 --> 00:33:51,159
- I think like this.
- No.

535
00:33:51,261 --> 00:33:53,161
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.

536
00:33:53,263 --> 00:33:55,797
- A 69.
- Glued into 69.

537
00:33:55,965 --> 00:33:58,300
I think that's
the best way.

538
00:33:59,268 --> 00:34:01,803
Well, fucking lube him up
or lube me up!

539
00:34:01,904 --> 00:34:04,439
- Let's go!
- Where's the glue?

540
00:34:11,964 --> 00:34:12,998
That's good.

541
00:34:13,099 --> 00:34:13,899
OK, OK, OK!

542
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,600
- Knoxville!
- Sorry.

543
00:34:15,701 --> 00:34:17,568
Asshole!

544
00:34:17,670 --> 00:34:19,971
We're really bros now.

545
00:34:20,072 --> 00:34:22,573
You should see it
from where I'm at.

546
00:34:23,876 --> 00:34:25,343
Oh, no.

547
00:34:25,444 --> 00:34:27,112
[all groaning]

548
00:34:27,213 --> 00:34:31,316
Hold it. Two minutes!
Someone time it.

549
00:34:31,417 --> 00:34:35,720
Two minutes is the longest
69 I've ever fuckin' done!

550
00:34:35,821 --> 00:34:39,424
- How do you plan on un-69-ing?
- I have no fucking idea.

551
00:34:39,525 --> 00:34:40,992
I got an idea
how to get him off.

552
00:34:41,093 --> 00:34:42,494
[April] Slide them down
the table.

553
00:34:42,594 --> 00:34:43,928
- No!
- What?

554
00:34:44,430 --> 00:34:46,381
No, don't... Nicely.

555
00:34:46,482 --> 00:34:48,516
Somebody go get me
the stun gun.

556
00:34:48,617 --> 00:34:49,884
No!

557
00:34:49,986 --> 00:34:52,654
Yeah! Go get it!
Get the stun gun!

558
00:34:52,755 --> 00:34:55,657
I'm pulling off!
I'm pulling off! No! No! No!

559
00:34:55,758 --> 00:34:58,193
That's not fucking cool!
No, no!

560
00:34:58,294 --> 00:35:01,079
[screaming]

561
00:35:01,180 --> 00:35:02,480
Fuck!

562
00:35:04,650 --> 00:35:06,884
Look at my fucking nipple!

563
00:35:09,339 --> 00:35:14,092
My fucking armpit kills!
Phil, pull it off.

564
00:35:14,193 --> 00:35:18,013
- For real? Where, here?
- What's this from?

565
00:35:18,114 --> 00:35:19,564
I can't. Let Ap do it.

566
00:35:19,665 --> 00:35:23,134
- Yank it off.
- Ready, ready, ready...

567
00:35:23,702 --> 00:35:24,936
Stop that.

568
00:35:25,037 --> 00:35:26,004
I think that's it for
Super Mighty Glue.

569
00:35:26,188 --> 00:35:28,723
I think that's it for
Super Mighty Glue.

570
00:35:28,824 --> 00:35:31,693
Thank God none of us had that
foreskin you were talking about.

571
00:35:33,329 --> 00:35:35,229
Does anyone have foreskin?

572
00:35:35,331 --> 00:35:37,398
Anybody. Now's the time
to raise your hand.

573
00:35:37,499 --> 00:35:38,666
Yeah.

574
00:35:40,402 --> 00:35:42,203
Three, two, one, go!

575
00:35:52,748 --> 00:35:54,882
[up-tempo music plays]

576
00:35:58,987 --> 00:36:01,856
[French music plays]

577
00:36:21,727 --> 00:36:23,678
[hip-hop music plays]

578
00:36:23,779 --> 00:36:25,246
¶ Gotta get that ¶

579
00:36:25,347 --> 00:36:27,298
¶ Gotta get that ¶

580
00:36:27,399 --> 00:36:29,250
¶ Gotta get that ¶

581
00:36:29,351 --> 00:36:31,802
¶ Gotta get that, that,
that, that, that ¶

582
00:36:31,903 --> 00:36:33,537
¶ Boom, boom, boom
Gotta get-get ¶

583
00:36:33,638 --> 00:36:35,406
¶ Boom, boom, boom
Gotta get-get ¶

584
00:36:35,507 --> 00:36:37,342
¶ Boom, boom, boom
Gotta get-get ¶

585
00:36:37,443 --> 00:36:39,160
¶ Boom, boom, boom
Gotta get-get ¶

586
00:36:39,345 --> 00:36:42,613
¶ Boom, boom, boom
that boom boom boom ¶

587
00:36:42,715 --> 00:36:44,315
Chicas.

588
00:36:44,416 --> 00:36:46,283
- ¶ Boom, boom, boom ¶
- [horn sounds]

589
00:36:46,385 --> 00:36:49,053
- ¶ Yo, I got that
hit that beat the block ¶
- Sorry. I hit my wrong button.

590
00:36:49,154 --> 00:36:53,475
¶ I got that rock and roll
That future flow ¶

591
00:36:53,609 --> 00:36:56,778
¶ That digital spit
Next-level visual shit ¶

592
00:36:57,112 --> 00:36:58,746
¶ I got that boom boom pow ¶

593
00:36:58,847 --> 00:37:00,498
¶ How the beat bang
boom boom pow ¶

594
00:37:00,766 --> 00:37:02,299
¶ I like that boom boom pow ¶

595
00:37:02,401 --> 00:37:04,369
¶ Them chickens
jackin' my style ¶

596
00:37:04,470 --> 00:37:06,571
- ¶ They try to copy my
swagger ¶
- Give me my leg! Help!

597
00:37:06,872 --> 00:37:08,556
- ¶ I'm on that next shit now ¶
- Give me my leg!

598
00:37:08,657 --> 00:37:13,711
- ¶ You so 2000 and late ¶
- That mutt's got my leg!
Stop! Thief!

599
00:37:13,812 --> 00:37:14,545
- Hey!
- [man] Where you going?

600
00:37:14,646 --> 00:37:15,880
¶ Let me get it now ¶

601
00:37:15,981 --> 00:37:17,731
¶ Boom, boom, boom
Gotta get-get ¶

602
00:37:17,833 --> 00:37:19,667
¶ Boom, boom, boom
Gotta get-get ¶

603
00:37:19,769 --> 00:37:21,569
¶ Boom, boom, boom
Gotta get-get ¶

604
00:37:21,670 --> 00:37:23,555
¶ Boom, boom, boom
Gotta get-get ¶

605
00:37:23,656 --> 00:37:26,774
- ¶ Boom, boom, boom ¶
- [grunts] Oh, God.

606
00:37:26,875 --> 00:37:28,726
¶ That boom, boom, boom ¶

607
00:37:28,827 --> 00:37:31,429
¶ Boom, boom, boom ¶

608
00:37:33,131 --> 00:37:36,117
¶ Let the beat rock
Let the beat rock ¶

609
00:37:36,218 --> 00:37:38,519
I went to the bathroom.
I have to change.

610
00:37:38,620 --> 00:37:39,954
¶ Let the beat... ¶

611
00:37:40,055 --> 00:37:43,824
- ¶ Let the beat... ¶
- ¶ Let the beat rock ¶

612
00:37:43,942 --> 00:37:45,977
¶ Rock, rock, rock ¶

613
00:37:46,245 --> 00:37:49,330
¶ Run, run, run
run, run, run, run! ¶

614
00:37:49,431 --> 00:37:52,567
¶ Run, run, run,
run, run! ¶

615
00:37:53,502 --> 00:37:55,286
Hey, man.
What are you doing, man?

616
00:37:55,387 --> 00:38:00,091
I messed myself.
I messed myself.

617
00:38:00,192 --> 00:38:02,827
- Can you help me?
- Hell, no.
You going to clean it?

618
00:38:02,928 --> 00:38:06,564
I'm cleaning it!
If you'll get off my case.

619
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,250
Hello. My name is Irving Zisman.

620
00:38:10,352 --> 00:38:11,819
This is my grandson, Murray.

621
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:15,790
And today, we're
going to go buy a scooter.

622
00:38:19,912 --> 00:38:22,079
Wow, what a lovely place.

623
00:38:25,233 --> 00:38:28,353
Good selection.

624
00:38:29,988 --> 00:38:33,257
- [man] How you doing, sir?
- Good. I'm with my grandson.

625
00:38:33,358 --> 00:38:34,809
- [man] Oh, very nice.
- Yeah.

626
00:38:34,910 --> 00:38:37,762
- How much does this cost?
- That's running about $2,000.

627
00:38:37,863 --> 00:38:40,615
Two thousand?
What'd I do, break something?

628
00:38:40,716 --> 00:38:42,867
My goodness.

629
00:38:42,968 --> 00:38:44,619
What were you looking at
over there, Murray?

630
00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:46,621
Just a couple of bikes
down there.

631
00:38:46,722 --> 00:38:49,757
Tell me a little bit
about this one here.

632
00:38:49,858 --> 00:38:52,226
This is nice.
I'll put it back.

633
00:38:52,327 --> 00:38:54,061
- I'll be right back.
- OK.

634
00:38:57,716 --> 00:39:00,668
[motor revving]

635
00:39:07,843 --> 00:39:10,061
- [Irving screams]
- [salesman] Holy shit!

636
00:39:10,929 --> 00:39:12,997
[screams]

637
00:39:14,199 --> 00:39:19,670
[groans] Fuck. Did I
hit the wrong button?

638
00:39:19,771 --> 00:39:22,774
[salesman] What happened?
Are you OK?

639
00:39:22,875 --> 00:39:24,642
Sir, would you like me
to call the paramedics?

640
00:39:24,743 --> 00:39:26,410
No, I'm fine!

641
00:39:26,511 --> 00:39:29,547
- What happened?
- The old dude just took off.

642
00:39:30,899 --> 00:39:34,735
[man] Some guy just fuckin'
went through the thing.

643
00:39:34,836 --> 00:39:37,622
How'd he come through here?
He came through here?

644
00:39:38,590 --> 00:39:39,824
He went out that way.

645
00:39:39,925 --> 00:39:41,792
How'd he go out that way?

646
00:39:42,911 --> 00:39:45,747
[Irving screams]

647
00:39:45,848 --> 00:39:47,748
[salesman] I think
he's all right.

648
00:39:48,767 --> 00:39:50,234
[man] Oh, my goodness.

649
00:39:52,421 --> 00:39:55,923
[engine sputtering]

650
00:39:57,859 --> 00:39:59,760
Up yours!

651
00:40:04,149 --> 00:40:06,017
I'm Pontius the Barbarian!

652
00:40:06,117 --> 00:40:08,853
And now the day has come
to slay the foul beast,

653
00:40:08,954 --> 00:40:10,821
the devil's brethren.

654
00:40:10,923 --> 00:40:14,324
- [laughter]
- [heavy metal music plays]

655
00:40:15,393 --> 00:40:19,230
[Chris] Come, beast.
Come meet your doom.

656
00:40:22,784 --> 00:40:25,987
Oh, you sour beast!

657
00:40:30,008 --> 00:40:33,177
You swine of the darkness!

658
00:40:33,278 --> 00:40:35,880
I've long awaited
this blood orgy, you...

659
00:40:35,981 --> 00:40:37,815
[all screaming]

660
00:40:37,916 --> 00:40:40,117
Fool! More!

661
00:40:40,952 --> 00:40:42,937
Ah, fool! He's got me!

662
00:40:49,428 --> 00:40:52,263
Fuck! Goddamn it,
get me out of here!

663
00:40:53,131 --> 00:40:54,415
Fuck!

664
00:40:54,516 --> 00:40:56,684
Dude, fuck this shit.

665
00:40:59,388 --> 00:41:02,022
- What happened?
- I'm fucking over it.

666
00:41:05,594 --> 00:41:08,896
- It got you good right here.
- It got me good a lot.

667
00:41:10,865 --> 00:41:13,701
[Bam] You got bit and stung,
so mission accomplished.

668
00:41:13,802 --> 00:41:15,753
I'm fucking pissed.

669
00:41:15,854 --> 00:41:18,222
What'd you think
was going to happen?

670
00:41:18,323 --> 00:41:19,924
[laughter]

671
00:41:21,476 --> 00:41:24,111
Up a little.
Yeah, right there.

672
00:41:26,815 --> 00:41:31,451
- Oh, shit.
- [laughter]

673
00:41:33,822 --> 00:41:35,990
We're here with BMX legend
Mat Hoffman

674
00:41:36,091 --> 00:41:37,909
and this is
the Sweatsuit Cocktail.

675
00:41:38,093 --> 00:41:41,329
[up-tempo music plays]

676
00:41:50,889 --> 00:41:54,242
So I guess the idea is for
the sweat to dribble down

677
00:41:54,343 --> 00:41:59,013
into the funnel, into the cup.
That's rinky-dink, even for us.

678
00:41:59,114 --> 00:42:02,049
[Steve-O] That's coming
right out of the ass.

679
00:42:02,784 --> 00:42:06,136
We probably need a doctor.

680
00:42:08,306 --> 00:42:09,757
You almost have a drop.

681
00:42:09,858 --> 00:42:12,159
Man, it's fucking hot in this!

682
00:42:12,961 --> 00:42:14,562
Steve-O, face.

683
00:42:14,663 --> 00:42:16,631
- What's that?
- Face.

684
00:42:16,732 --> 00:42:18,216
[Johnny]
Looks like white gravy.

685
00:42:18,317 --> 00:42:20,785
[Jeff] Sop his face. Bring
the cup down a little bit.

686
00:42:23,355 --> 00:42:25,839
- Get it, get it!
- Oh, shit!

687
00:42:25,940 --> 00:42:29,876
- Is that pee-pee or sweat?
- It's sweat, dude. Get it!

688
00:42:29,978 --> 00:42:31,812
[Jeff] Wring that out, Steve-O.

689
00:42:31,913 --> 00:42:37,418
- [all groan]
- [Jeff] We're
losing Lance, guys.

690
00:42:37,536 --> 00:42:39,036
[Johnny] What?

691
00:42:40,205 --> 00:42:42,473
What is...?
His head's bobbing.

692
00:42:42,574 --> 00:42:47,177
- [man 1] Lance, you all right?
- [man 2] I think we just broke
him again.

693
00:42:48,580 --> 00:42:51,365
[retching]

694
00:42:53,668 --> 00:42:55,002
You OK?

695
00:42:55,103 --> 00:42:57,988
- [Johnny] You need the camera?
- Yeah...

696
00:42:58,306 --> 00:42:59,941
- The camera help you
not get sick?
- Yeah, I'm...

697
00:43:00,042 --> 00:43:02,209
All right, give him
the camera so he...

698
00:43:02,311 --> 00:43:03,877
Got it? You good?

699
00:43:07,099 --> 00:43:09,750
Hey, someone follow me
down the crack.

700
00:43:14,506 --> 00:43:17,575
OK, here we go.

701
00:43:17,676 --> 00:43:21,011
Steve-O! Steve-O! Lord!

702
00:43:21,112 --> 00:43:23,030
Sorry! Sorry.

703
00:43:24,849 --> 00:43:27,585
[Preston] A prostate exam
going on back there.

704
00:43:27,686 --> 00:43:29,953
[Ehren] Fuck sake, dude.

705
00:43:31,973 --> 00:43:35,225
Here, let's take this
shit off and wring out the suit.

706
00:43:37,195 --> 00:43:39,814
That makes
me want to puke.

707
00:43:39,915 --> 00:43:43,500
This is the first cocktail
you've had in two years, right?

708
00:43:43,601 --> 00:43:47,905
Yeah. Here's
to good health.

709
00:43:48,006 --> 00:43:50,107
[Jeff] Chug that
whole thing, Steve-O.

710
00:44:02,037 --> 00:44:04,071
I think the cam...

711
00:44:06,208 --> 00:44:08,543
Don't puke on that heater.

712
00:44:08,644 --> 00:44:09,943
You're puking on...

713
00:44:10,045 --> 00:44:12,930
Give me your camera. You're
puking right on your lens.

714
00:44:13,031 --> 00:44:15,265
[laughter]

715
00:44:16,668 --> 00:44:18,736
Here, we gotta like...

716
00:44:27,846 --> 00:44:31,115
[Johnny] We're really falling
apart here.

717
00:44:31,216 --> 00:44:34,001
- Jesus.
- I love you, bro.

718
00:44:34,102 --> 00:44:36,270
[Johnny] He just puked
all over his camera.

719
00:44:36,371 --> 00:44:38,422
That was the
Sweatsuit Cocktail.

720
00:44:38,523 --> 00:44:40,958
- [man] Seriously.
- Yeah, brother.

721
00:44:42,094 --> 00:44:43,844
My name is Santy Claus,

722
00:44:43,946 --> 00:44:46,914
and I'm here with the Dudesons,
and this is the Christmas Tree.

723
00:44:47,015 --> 00:44:48,583
Timber!

724
00:44:48,684 --> 00:44:52,319
- Santa and elf
is coming down hard.
- Yes!

725
00:44:53,722 --> 00:44:56,640
Santa ain't climbed a tree
in quite a while.

726
00:44:56,841 --> 00:45:00,144
And, I am gonna be honest,
Santa did have a couple
last night.

727
00:45:00,245 --> 00:45:04,214
So... this ain't
gonna feel too good.

728
00:45:04,315 --> 00:45:06,684
I'm just here
to enjoy the ride.

729
00:45:06,785 --> 00:45:08,586
How do you get started?

730
00:45:08,687 --> 00:45:10,854
- You need a hand?
- F, yes! Santa needs a hand.

731
00:45:10,955 --> 00:45:14,292
[Bam] I just love that they're
climbing up a 40-foot tree,

732
00:45:14,393 --> 00:45:16,076
and they're gonna have
a 60-foot drop and it's

733
00:45:16,177 --> 00:45:18,979
- the top of the morning.
- Top of the morning to you!

734
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:23,083
- [Jarno] Santa looking good!
- Santa's fucking tired.

735
00:45:24,686 --> 00:45:27,138
Santa can barely hold on,
so let's go.

736
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:28,572
[laughter]

737
00:45:28,673 --> 00:45:32,693
[Jarppi] That was the hard part!
Now comes the easy part.

738
00:45:32,794 --> 00:45:34,078
Bring out the saw!

739
00:45:40,251 --> 00:45:42,153
They're letting Jarppi
work the chainsaw.

740
00:45:42,254 --> 00:45:44,371
He's never touched
a chainsaw before.

741
00:45:44,472 --> 00:45:47,908
He's got one thumb.
How's he gonna hit the trigger?

742
00:45:48,009 --> 00:45:50,677
He's gonna have
no thumbs after this.

743
00:45:50,778 --> 00:45:53,514
You ever get scared
in these moments?

744
00:45:54,349 --> 00:45:55,416
[Johnny] Yeah.

745
00:45:55,517 --> 00:45:58,853
[Bam] Push it!
Push it the other way!

746
00:45:58,954 --> 00:46:01,122
Jarppi, cut out!

747
00:46:01,222 --> 00:46:02,990
Yeah, but you got to push!

748
00:46:03,091 --> 00:46:04,992
[Dave] There it goes,
there it goes!

749
00:46:05,093 --> 00:46:06,994
[Jarno] Timber!

750
00:46:07,095 --> 00:46:09,263
[all shouting]

751
00:46:12,333 --> 00:46:13,467
Fuck!

752
00:46:15,069 --> 00:46:17,088
[Jeff] Bam's coming out!
Are you all right?

753
00:46:17,189 --> 00:46:18,589
[groans]

754
00:46:18,690 --> 00:46:21,926
I fell on the tree...
on my ass!

755
00:46:22,027 --> 00:46:23,728
- [Jarno] You fell on the tree?
- [Jukka] Yeah.

756
00:46:23,829 --> 00:46:25,713
[Jarno] But you're alive.

757
00:46:27,415 --> 00:46:29,783
You good?

758
00:46:29,917 --> 00:46:35,306
[Jarno] Santa, I think that's
the only proper way to get
yourself a Christmas tree.

759
00:46:35,407 --> 00:46:36,957
With all that
sleigh riding I do,

760
00:46:37,058 --> 00:46:40,094
Santa really doesn't like
heights, I found out.

761
00:46:42,948 --> 00:46:46,100
I'm Danger Ehren, and this
is Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

762
00:46:46,201 --> 00:46:48,869
[rock music plays]

763
00:46:50,572 --> 00:46:51,839
You got it.

764
00:46:51,940 --> 00:46:55,158
Let me spin you around.
Spin you around.

765
00:46:57,161 --> 00:47:00,531
- ¶ When you touch my hand
and talk sweet talk ¶
- OK. Spread your legs.

766
00:47:00,632 --> 00:47:03,684
- ¶ I got a knockin' in my
knees and a wobble in my walk ¶
- Tail up higher.

767
00:47:03,785 --> 00:47:06,470
- ¶ And I'm tremblin' ¶
- [brays]

768
00:47:06,571 --> 00:47:09,139
- [shouts]
- [laughs]

769
00:47:10,608 --> 00:47:12,126
- Where'd it hit you?
- It didn't.

770
00:47:12,227 --> 00:47:14,261
Where the fuck
do you think it hit me?

771
00:47:14,362 --> 00:47:17,264
Look, damn it!

772
00:47:17,365 --> 00:47:18,965
[man] Put that tail
on that donkey.

773
00:47:19,066 --> 00:47:21,719
OK, it's just a donkey.

774
00:47:23,822 --> 00:47:26,190
¶ Shakin', shakin'
shakin', shakin' ¶

775
00:47:26,291 --> 00:47:27,958
Spread legs... spread legs.

776
00:47:28,059 --> 00:47:29,827
That's good.

777
00:47:29,928 --> 00:47:31,261
[Ryan] Get your dick lower.

778
00:47:32,697 --> 00:47:35,732
You're going good.
Spread legs.

779
00:47:35,833 --> 00:47:37,667
[Ryan] Your walk
is just amazing.

780
00:47:39,904 --> 00:47:41,538
Straight, straight.

781
00:47:42,741 --> 00:47:44,775
- You're getting warm.
- [braying]

782
00:47:44,876 --> 00:47:47,762
[all shout]

783
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:50,781
I heard that.

784
00:47:53,685 --> 00:47:57,554
It got me in the dick!
It got me in the dick!

785
00:47:57,655 --> 00:47:59,973
[Johnny] I see the hoofprint
on his ding-ding.

786
00:48:02,109 --> 00:48:06,230
Fuck! I don't want to do that
anymore, if that's OK.

787
00:48:16,191 --> 00:48:19,526
[Rocky theme plays]

788
00:48:38,146 --> 00:48:39,596
Hello...

789
00:48:39,698 --> 00:48:41,565
Hello. My name is
Johnny Knoxville.

790
00:48:41,666 --> 00:48:46,052
We have professional football
players Erik Ainge, Jared Allen

791
00:48:46,153 --> 00:48:49,723
and our referee today,
Seann William Scott.

792
00:48:49,824 --> 00:48:52,626
This is the Blindside.

793
00:48:52,727 --> 00:48:55,061
- [shouts]
- [laughter]

794
00:48:57,131 --> 00:48:59,533
- I didn't do it, Wee Man.
- I know.

795
00:48:59,634 --> 00:49:01,702
I didn't do it.
Jared, why did you do that?

796
00:49:01,803 --> 00:49:04,404
I really got lost
in the moment.

797
00:49:04,572 --> 00:49:06,657
[Johnny] Let's get
this shit over with.

798
00:49:13,297 --> 00:49:15,432
Blue... 24!

799
00:49:15,533 --> 00:49:17,668
Blue... 24! Hut!

800
00:49:21,573 --> 00:49:23,306
- Oh, my God.
- [whistle blows]

801
00:49:25,610 --> 00:49:27,644
[laughter]

802
00:49:31,082 --> 00:49:33,283
Looks like you didn't
block him, Preston.

803
00:49:33,384 --> 00:49:37,304
[Johnny] You just planted me
in the fucking ground!

804
00:49:39,106 --> 00:49:40,891
That felt like shit.

805
00:49:41,025 --> 00:49:44,560
Have you ever played
linebacker before?

806
00:49:44,661 --> 00:49:47,697
- Years and years ago.
- You think you can
give it a try?

807
00:49:49,265 --> 00:49:51,184
Quickly review.
What's your job?

808
00:49:51,284 --> 00:49:53,152
Murder Knoxville's face.

809
00:49:54,221 --> 00:49:56,889
- What's your job?
- Catch the ball.

810
00:49:56,990 --> 00:49:58,825
- I mean...
- Let's do this!

811
00:49:58,926 --> 00:50:00,392
[in lower voice]
I mean, catch the ball.

812
00:50:00,493 --> 00:50:02,028
[Jeff] Do you think Knoxville's
gonna catch the ball?

813
00:50:02,128 --> 00:50:03,930
- Nope.
- Who gives a shit?

814
00:50:07,884 --> 00:50:11,070
[Johnny] Hey, Jared! Don't hit
me with your purse this time!

815
00:50:11,171 --> 00:50:13,122
[laughter]

816
00:50:15,192 --> 00:50:18,227
[Jared] Nice wristband,
douche.

817
00:50:18,329 --> 00:50:20,997
- [whistle blows]
- Ten hut!

818
00:50:22,282 --> 00:50:25,268
- [shouting]
- [grunts]

819
00:50:27,404 --> 00:50:30,939
- [whistle blows]
- [moaning]

820
00:50:32,742 --> 00:50:34,177
Did I catch it?

821
00:50:34,278 --> 00:50:36,479
People don't realize
football's a game of physics.

822
00:50:36,580 --> 00:50:38,514
Speed and velocity
equals that.

823
00:50:38,849 --> 00:50:43,269
- [shouting in slow motion]
- [grunts in slow motion]

824
00:50:46,106 --> 00:50:49,892
- Good game.
- Good game.
See you in the showers.

825
00:50:52,396 --> 00:50:54,363
Oh, fuck!

826
00:50:56,132 --> 00:50:58,501
[Bam] That was perfect.
That was perfect.

827
00:51:00,754 --> 00:51:02,004
This is our friend, Will,

828
00:51:02,138 --> 00:51:04,306
and he has a very
special bottom.

829
00:51:04,441 --> 00:51:07,142
- [farting loudly]
- [laughter]

830
00:51:12,449 --> 00:51:14,283
Dude, you are
one mingin' machine.

831
00:51:14,401 --> 00:51:16,635
You ready? All right,
come on, dude, let's party.

832
00:51:18,238 --> 00:51:20,072
[tweeting]

833
00:51:34,888 --> 00:51:37,456
- What about the trumpet?
- All right. Here he goes.

834
00:51:37,590 --> 00:51:40,826
You're bringing jazz back
to the working man.

835
00:51:40,961 --> 00:51:42,895
- Shh! Shh...
- [trumpet playing]

836
00:51:47,534 --> 00:51:50,536
- [man] We're on
to something here.
- That's talent!

837
00:51:52,088 --> 00:51:54,022
Hey, bud, dude,
can I bum a smoke?

838
00:51:58,161 --> 00:51:59,345
[farting]

839
00:51:59,479 --> 00:52:01,414
Oh, wait.

840
00:52:01,548 --> 00:52:03,882
[farting continuously]

841
00:52:05,318 --> 00:52:08,337
[laughter]

842
00:52:09,873 --> 00:52:12,642
- Bottoms up.
- [shouting, laughing]

843
00:52:13,477 --> 00:52:15,544
Yuck!

844
00:52:15,696 --> 00:52:20,182
- [retching]
- [man] Aw, there's shit on the
end...

845
00:52:20,317 --> 00:52:23,035
- [laughter]
- Is there shit on the end?

846
00:52:23,169 --> 00:52:25,137
- There's shit on there.
- Hey, look at this shit.

847
00:52:31,295 --> 00:52:33,496
I saw it.

848
00:52:37,467 --> 00:52:40,403
- That's fucking gross.
- Dude, that was fucking
mingin'.

849
00:52:42,138 --> 00:52:43,822
Let's get out the dart gun.

850
00:52:43,957 --> 00:52:46,425
- Yeah.
- There you go.

851
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:49,895
Luckily, we had it handy.

852
00:52:50,029 --> 00:52:53,432
- Do you want to practice?
- Let's get a balloon.

853
00:52:53,567 --> 00:52:56,569
- Does it need to go down lower?
- Yeah, go lower.

854
00:52:57,837 --> 00:52:59,538
You got it. You got it.

855
00:52:59,672 --> 00:53:01,574
You might want to tuck
your nuts up.

856
00:53:01,708 --> 00:53:05,611
No, no, no! I think
you should leave your legs
just a little agape.

857
00:53:05,745 --> 00:53:08,247
Steve-O, don't get your balls
in the way. You'll hurt 'em.

858
00:53:09,883 --> 00:53:11,384
- [Johnny] Is this sucking in?
- [man] Yeah, he's sucking in.

859
00:53:11,518 --> 00:53:14,603
- Trippin' out.
- I'm seriously trippin'.

860
00:53:14,738 --> 00:53:15,971
You wanna try
the longer... Hey.

861
00:53:16,105 --> 00:53:17,472
Gonna be full of
butt splatter, dude.

862
00:53:17,607 --> 00:53:19,875
[all shouting]

863
00:53:28,969 --> 00:53:32,171
My name's Johnny Knoxville
and this is Bad Dog.

864
00:53:32,306 --> 00:53:34,857
[dog barking]

865
00:53:36,593 --> 00:53:39,896
[screams]
Oklahoma! Oklahoma!

866
00:53:41,564 --> 00:53:42,598
Fuck!

867
00:53:43,433 --> 00:53:45,034
Oh, my ass meat!

868
00:53:54,844 --> 00:53:57,746
[Johnny]
That dog... is athletic.

869
00:53:59,616 --> 00:54:01,284
My ass hurts.

870
00:54:01,418 --> 00:54:05,338
Lance, can you tell
I've been doing squats?

871
00:54:05,472 --> 00:54:08,040
You know, I couldn't
have done this on the first...

872
00:54:08,976 --> 00:54:11,110
...two movies, because

873
00:54:11,261 --> 00:54:14,062
I never really did squats
or anything then,

874
00:54:14,163 --> 00:54:16,865
but now I've been really
working out my butt and legs,

875
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:20,269
and it gave the dog
something to bite on.

876
00:54:20,403 --> 00:54:22,638
Pretty good something to
bite on, if you ask me.

877
00:54:22,772 --> 00:54:24,373
[Lance] Yeah.

878
00:54:26,109 --> 00:54:29,078
I'm Chris Pontius,
and this is the Helicockter.

879
00:54:35,218 --> 00:54:36,953
Oh, no, you're flying it.

880
00:54:37,087 --> 00:54:39,021
[shrieks]

881
00:54:39,156 --> 00:54:40,957
Yeah!

882
00:54:44,227 --> 00:54:46,962
Ah! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

883
00:54:49,116 --> 00:54:50,898
[screams]

884
00:54:52,334 --> 00:54:55,837
- Throttle back, throttle back!
- Throttle back!

885
00:54:55,971 --> 00:54:57,571
Throttle back.
Throttle back.

886
00:55:00,242 --> 00:55:02,276
Oh, God!

887
00:55:02,410 --> 00:55:04,728
Well, so much for
my aviation career.

888
00:55:04,780 --> 00:55:08,432
Oh, God. So much
for my love life.

889
00:55:08,566 --> 00:55:10,585
- [screams]
- [Johnny laughs heartily]

890
00:55:18,743 --> 00:55:19,811
Yo, Novak.

891
00:55:19,945 --> 00:55:23,714
- [laughing] Oh, my God!
- Holy fuck!

892
00:55:23,849 --> 00:55:25,549
Oh, my God!

893
00:55:27,052 --> 00:55:28,436
[Ehren] Are you all right?

894
00:55:28,570 --> 00:55:30,121
Oh, my God!

895
00:55:30,255 --> 00:55:33,657
Dude, you have no idea
how fucking perfect that was.

896
00:55:33,792 --> 00:55:35,726
Help me up.
No, not that way.

897
00:55:38,363 --> 00:55:40,564
Dude, we gotta
see that shit.

898
00:55:40,699 --> 00:55:43,417
Dude, it hit
so fucking hard, my face...

899
00:55:46,605 --> 00:55:49,374
- That's the brake.
- Look at the weld.

900
00:55:49,508 --> 00:55:52,676
- [Ryan] I've had
stronger silverware.
- [Bam] How fast does it go?

901
00:55:52,811 --> 00:55:55,446
It's kind of fast
for being as cruddy as they are.

902
00:55:55,580 --> 00:55:59,217
- So you're saying
he might make it.
- He'll definitely make it.

903
00:55:59,351 --> 00:56:01,486
- Dude, you got this.
- Nothing.

904
00:56:02,154 --> 00:56:03,354
Nothing.

905
00:56:05,357 --> 00:56:06,241
[man] What's the furthest

906
00:56:06,458 --> 00:56:09,493
you've jumped
a motorcycle before?

907
00:56:09,627 --> 00:56:11,628
I haven't jumped a motorcycle.

908
00:56:11,763 --> 00:56:14,332
[laughter]

909
00:56:14,466 --> 00:56:17,902
- So this will be your record.
- Yeah. I'm breaking records.

910
00:56:18,036 --> 00:56:21,121
I'm doing the Snake River
Redemption and, hopefully,

911
00:56:21,256 --> 00:56:23,992
if all goes as planned,
I will create a perfect rainbow,

912
00:56:24,126 --> 00:56:27,128
ending up in
Wee Man's pot of gold.

913
00:56:27,262 --> 00:56:28,863
Or on Wee Man.

914
00:56:28,997 --> 00:56:30,598
- [Ryan] Either way.
- [Johnny] Either way works.

915
00:56:30,732 --> 00:56:34,002
The proud owner
of Wee Man's Chronic Tacos!

916
00:56:34,136 --> 00:56:36,271
[traditional music plays]

917
00:56:36,105 --> 00:56:37,722
[Johnny] At least
your run-up ramp

918
00:56:37,856 --> 00:56:39,757
looks like a piece
of microwave bacon.

919
00:56:41,010 --> 00:56:42,860
Uphill!

920
00:56:42,994 --> 00:56:45,329
A very patriotic
microwave bacon.

921
00:56:45,464 --> 00:56:47,598
Just aim for the
fucking leprechaun.

922
00:56:47,767 --> 00:56:49,700
[Ryan] I'm gonna try and
take out the leprechaun.

923
00:56:49,834 --> 00:56:52,703
- [Andy] Land in the gold.
- [Ryan] Steal his gold.

924
00:56:52,837 --> 00:56:56,623
Whatever. Let's fucking
get it over with and go have
some fucking tacos!

925
00:56:56,758 --> 00:56:58,126
[laughter]

926
00:56:58,260 --> 00:57:00,161
[revving]

927
00:57:00,296 --> 00:57:02,130
¶ The laurel wreath
is ready now ¶

928
00:57:02,264 --> 00:57:06,067
¶ To place upon
his loyal brow ¶

929
00:57:06,202 --> 00:57:09,454
¶ And we'll all feel gay when ¶

930
00:57:09,588 --> 00:57:12,123
¶ Johnny comes marching home ¶

931
00:57:12,258 --> 00:57:14,892
[all shouting]

932
00:57:18,247 --> 00:57:19,413
Shit!

933
00:57:19,548 --> 00:57:20,949
[laughter]

934
00:57:21,083 --> 00:57:22,783
- You OK?
- You all right?

935
00:57:28,674 --> 00:57:30,591
You OK?

936
00:57:30,726 --> 00:57:32,143
We got a Dunn down!

937
00:57:37,466 --> 00:57:39,533
[man] You done good!

938
00:57:39,668 --> 00:57:41,035
That was fucking awesome.

939
00:57:41,170 --> 00:57:42,870
That was awesome, Dunn!

940
00:57:45,674 --> 00:57:48,742
Dude, that thing
is squirrelly as shit!

941
00:57:48,877 --> 00:57:51,245
That was so amazing!

942
00:57:51,330 --> 00:57:54,665
[Chris] I think it's time for a
Wee Man's Chronic Taco replay.

943
00:58:02,874 --> 00:58:04,742
[Ryan] Redemption is made!

944
00:58:09,497 --> 00:58:13,034
I'm Preston Lacy,
and this is the Apple of My Ass.

945
00:58:14,502 --> 00:58:16,570
- Want me to put it in, P?
- Put her in.

946
00:58:16,704 --> 00:58:17,704
Help me out, O.

947
00:58:17,839 --> 00:58:19,907
- What about the apple?
- I got it.

948
00:58:21,676 --> 00:58:23,144
[all groaning]

949
00:58:23,278 --> 00:58:25,879
- Is it in there pretty good?
- I think so. I think so.

950
00:58:26,014 --> 00:58:27,648
- A little deeper.
- I can make it fit way better.

951
00:58:27,782 --> 00:58:30,484
- A little deeper.
- What?

952
00:58:30,618 --> 00:58:33,604
- Hold it open, I'll put it in.
- There we go. That's in good.

953
00:58:33,739 --> 00:58:35,973
- [Johnny] Oh, Steve-O.
- [Preston] My balls.

954
00:58:36,107 --> 00:58:40,845
- [retching]
- Hold on.

955
00:58:41,980 --> 00:58:43,915
You don't like apple
and peanut butter?

956
00:58:47,085 --> 00:58:48,886
- [Jeff] Bring in Bob.
- Come on, Bob!

957
00:58:49,021 --> 00:58:51,689
Oh, don't bring in Bob.

958
00:58:51,857 --> 00:58:53,474
- Come on, Bob.
- Oh, my God.

959
00:58:53,609 --> 00:58:56,177
- Make him work for it.
- Come on, Bob.

960
00:58:56,311 --> 00:58:58,012
- Poor Bob.
- Come on, Bob.

961
00:58:58,147 --> 00:58:59,647
- Get it, Bob.
- He smells.

962
00:58:59,781 --> 00:59:02,350
Come on, Bobby.
Bob-Bob. Bob-Bob.

963
00:59:02,484 --> 00:59:04,685
- The old forbidden fruit.
- Come on, Bob.

964
00:59:06,572 --> 00:59:08,672
- [Johnny] The Garden of Eatin'.
- Come on, Bob!

965
00:59:08,806 --> 00:59:10,474
[Johnny] Grip it, grip it.

966
00:59:10,608 --> 00:59:12,943
[all shouting]

967
00:59:13,945 --> 00:59:15,813
Bob.

968
00:59:18,283 --> 00:59:19,883
He really got in there.

969
00:59:20,018 --> 00:59:21,085
Oh, he's going back for more.

970
00:59:21,220 --> 00:59:23,321
Don't move.
He's going back for more.

971
00:59:23,455 --> 00:59:25,223
Good, baby.

972
00:59:25,357 --> 00:59:27,725
Put it back in there? OK.

973
00:59:27,859 --> 00:59:32,530
- Is that Bob?
- Oh, man.

974
00:59:32,681 --> 00:59:33,447
[Wee Man]
It's in there!

975
00:59:33,665 --> 00:59:37,084
- [yelps]
- [snorting]

976
00:59:37,219 --> 00:59:39,287
It's still in there!
Get back down there!

977
00:59:39,421 --> 00:59:40,988
Get back down.
It's still in.

978
00:59:41,122 --> 00:59:46,744
Oh, no! Oh, no!
Oh, no!

979
00:59:50,916 --> 00:59:53,517
- Can I move this?
- Still have an apple
in your ass?

980
00:59:53,652 --> 00:59:54,886
[Preston]
Got it out.

981
01:00:00,025 --> 01:00:01,826
Why did you do that, Jeff?

982
01:00:06,515 --> 01:00:10,050
[Johnny] See, Bob? I told
you it's not that hard
to get into a movie.

983
01:00:42,967 --> 01:00:45,167
- [Jeff] You got it?
- [Johnny] Oh, no!

984
01:00:45,302 --> 01:00:48,738
[laughter]

985
01:00:52,293 --> 01:00:55,061
I was checking out my new
haircut in the mirror.

986
01:00:55,196 --> 01:00:58,030
I was talking to Wee Man
over there, then I heard a...
[mimics explosion]

987
01:00:58,165 --> 01:01:00,567
I'm like, "What was that?"
"I know what that was."

988
01:01:00,701 --> 01:01:02,268
Kinda hurt my nose.

989
01:01:05,573 --> 01:01:08,708
It's like way,
way up in my brain.

990
01:01:10,460 --> 01:01:13,179
Me and the boys are about to do
a little Duck Hunting.

991
01:01:13,314 --> 01:01:16,799
[all quacking]

992
01:01:16,934 --> 01:01:19,402
- Pull!
- Oh, shit!

993
01:01:25,843 --> 01:01:26,792
[Johnny]
Are you guys all right?

994
01:01:28,345 --> 01:01:32,348
- What did Andy do?
- He got fucked up.

995
01:01:32,467 --> 01:01:35,135
- Our timing was off.
- I don't know.
When we jumped...

996
01:01:35,269 --> 01:01:38,855
[Andy] somehow I got under him,
he got on top of me,
and he landed on me.

997
01:01:38,989 --> 01:01:41,808
[man] His head smashed me.

998
01:01:41,943 --> 01:01:43,410
- [Andy] I'm shaking.
- [man] It hurt so bad.

999
01:01:43,544 --> 01:01:44,945
- [Andy] Got hit too.
- [man]
That looked hilarious.

1000
01:01:46,847 --> 01:01:48,064
Now it's Parks's turn,

1001
01:01:48,199 --> 01:01:51,534
and this duck's got
a little more meat on him.

1002
01:01:51,619 --> 01:01:54,287
- [quacking]
- [Johnny] Pull!

1003
01:01:58,893 --> 01:02:00,860
- [laughter]
- Whoa!

1004
01:02:00,995 --> 01:02:05,464
We lit him the fuck up.
Oh, my God!

1005
01:02:07,034 --> 01:02:08,668
[laughter]

1006
01:02:10,938 --> 01:02:13,072
[Parks] I got welted.

1007
01:02:14,909 --> 01:02:17,427
It's like fuckin' falling
into a bees' nest.

1008
01:02:17,561 --> 01:02:20,397
- [man] Holy crap!
- [Johnny] We killed
Quack Quack.

1009
01:02:20,531 --> 01:02:23,532
- My whole back stings.
- Does it?

1010
01:02:23,667 --> 01:02:25,701
Yeah, ten, 11 right there,
and that one.

1011
01:02:25,836 --> 01:02:28,738
All right. So let's reload.
Get Dunn on there.

1012
01:02:30,174 --> 01:02:34,327
Looks like Dunn's up next.
Ready, C-sucker?

1013
01:02:36,130 --> 01:02:38,431
This one's
a gobbler for sure.

1014
01:02:38,565 --> 01:02:51,044
- [all quacking]
- [man] Pull!

1015
01:02:51,178 --> 01:02:52,745
Ow!

1016
01:02:57,584 --> 01:02:59,786
Good fucking God!

1017
01:02:59,920 --> 01:03:05,341
[Bam] I gotta give it
to Paul Bunyan's 40-foot
fucking cartwheel.

1018
01:03:05,476 --> 01:03:09,579
[man] You look like Buck Rogers
going through time, you know.

1019
01:03:09,713 --> 01:03:13,215
[Ryan] Yeah, I felt like I was
in the air for a fortnight.

1020
01:03:19,039 --> 01:03:20,440
[Jeff] Oh, my God.

1021
01:03:22,710 --> 01:03:24,176
Jump out!

1022
01:03:26,714 --> 01:03:29,014
Oh! [chuckling]

1023
01:03:36,591 --> 01:03:36,656
[Ehren] I told you
I was gonna fucking clear it.

1024
01:03:37,891 --> 01:03:38,958
[Ehren] I told you
I was gonna fucking clear it.

1025
01:03:42,278 --> 01:03:45,047
That fucking just happened,
didn't it?

1026
01:03:47,751 --> 01:03:49,118
Hello. My name
is Irving Zisman.

1027
01:03:49,219 --> 01:03:51,386
This is my wife
and granddaughter,

1028
01:03:51,487 --> 01:03:54,857
and today I'm a
Really Bad Grandpa.

1029
01:03:54,958 --> 01:03:57,593
No, you're not, Grandpa.
You're the best.

1030
01:03:57,694 --> 01:04:00,662
- Irving!
- Sorry, baby.

1031
01:04:00,764 --> 01:04:02,497
Ha!

1032
01:04:11,491 --> 01:04:13,175
[moaning]

1033
01:04:23,435 --> 01:04:25,804
Oh! Sorry.

1034
01:04:25,905 --> 01:04:27,989
Sorry, man, sorry.

1035
01:04:30,910 --> 01:04:33,562
Excuse me, homeboy,
can you take our picture?

1036
01:04:33,663 --> 01:04:36,565
- I'm sorry to bother you.
- No problem.

1037
01:04:36,666 --> 01:04:38,132
I'm so, uh...

1038
01:04:42,372 --> 01:04:47,076
Sorry. Thank you,
buddy. OK?

1039
01:04:47,177 --> 01:04:50,646
- You know what? I'm gonna pass.
- You just hit the button there.

1040
01:04:50,747 --> 01:04:55,334
I'm going to pass on that.
Are you underage?

1041
01:04:55,435 --> 01:04:58,787
No. This is my granddaughter.
She's of age. She's 19.

1042
01:04:58,838 --> 01:05:00,856
Sir, you shouldn't be
kissing your granddaughter,

1043
01:05:00,957 --> 01:05:02,808
slapping your granddaughter's
ass like that, sir.

1044
01:05:02,908 --> 01:05:04,676
- She's of age.
- You can go to jail for that.

1045
01:05:04,777 --> 01:05:07,379
I don't... I'm trying. You
ought to be ashamed of yourself.

1046
01:05:07,480 --> 01:05:09,414
You shouldn't be doing that
to your granddaughter.

1047
01:05:09,515 --> 01:05:13,501
- What are you doing?
- Honey, I don't even
know this man.

1048
01:05:13,602 --> 01:05:16,772
I don't care. You're with your
granddaughter. That's terrible!

1049
01:05:16,873 --> 01:05:19,941
- I've never seen
anything like it...
- This is my wife.

1050
01:05:20,042 --> 01:05:23,928
- This is your wife?
- Yes. Honey, I'm sorry.

1051
01:05:24,029 --> 01:05:26,565
Don't bother coming home
tonight! OK? Don't bother.

1052
01:05:26,666 --> 01:05:29,668
Honey! God. Jesus.

1053
01:05:29,735 --> 01:05:32,404
- Why would you...?
- Go talk to her.

1054
01:05:32,505 --> 01:05:34,806
Excuse me.
I have my own problems.

1055
01:05:35,741 --> 01:05:36,941
[Irving] Honey!

1056
01:05:45,885 --> 01:05:48,253
[Rocky theme plays]

1057
01:06:07,623 --> 01:06:11,209
It's time to find out
if music calms the wild beast.

1058
01:06:11,276 --> 01:06:13,411
I'm Ryan Dunn,
and this is the Ram Jam.

1059
01:06:13,479 --> 01:06:16,882
[playing off-key]

1060
01:06:16,949 --> 01:06:18,316
Soothing?

1061
01:06:19,785 --> 01:06:21,703
[Johnny] Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

1062
01:06:23,539 --> 01:06:25,206
He's already looking at me.

1063
01:06:25,274 --> 01:06:28,376
- [bleats]
- [laughter]

1064
01:06:31,713 --> 01:06:35,283
Can you just go over there until
I get in here, buddy? Jesus.

1065
01:06:40,723 --> 01:06:41,923
[bleats]

1066
01:06:43,159 --> 01:06:45,227
You better hurry up.
He's looking at me.

1067
01:06:45,295 --> 01:06:49,764
- He looks beguiled.
- He's like,
"Are these guys stupid?"

1068
01:06:49,833 --> 01:06:52,734
- He doesn't like
what he sees, though.
- Hey, little baby.

1069
01:06:54,470 --> 01:06:56,538
That was good.

1070
01:06:56,605 --> 01:06:59,774
- [Johnny] Play some music!
Play some music!
- [man] You're toast.

1071
01:06:59,842 --> 01:07:03,478
- [playing poorly]
- [laughter]

1072
01:07:03,545 --> 01:07:05,046
Aah!

1073
01:07:13,455 --> 01:07:14,989
- [Wee Man] Steve-O, help him!
- [Ehren] Play some music!

1074
01:07:16,326 --> 01:07:17,859
[Johnny]
Steve-O, help him!

1075
01:07:22,749 --> 01:07:24,415
Get it over here, Dunn!

1076
01:07:24,483 --> 01:07:26,501
[Wee Man]
Go help him, Steve-O!

1077
01:07:26,568 --> 01:07:28,954
- [Ehren] Save your bro!
- [Johnny] Help him, Steve-O!

1078
01:07:29,005 --> 01:07:32,391
- [shouting]
- [playing instrument badly]

1079
01:07:32,491 --> 01:07:35,193
- Play!
- [Johnny] Steve-O!

1080
01:07:35,261 --> 01:07:36,360
[Preston]
Play the trumpet!

1081
01:07:36,428 --> 01:07:38,329
[screams]

1082
01:07:41,634 --> 01:07:44,636
- [man] Yeah, there you go.
- [Johnny] Just you, Steve-O.

1083
01:07:54,230 --> 01:07:56,364
[Ryan] Maybe we used
the wrong instruments.

1084
01:07:56,432 --> 01:07:58,650
[man] So you think music
calmed the wild beast?

1085
01:07:58,717 --> 01:08:00,786
[Steve-O] Not at all,
man, not at all.

1086
01:08:00,853 --> 01:08:02,020
[Ryan] I don't
think so, either.

1087
01:08:03,672 --> 01:08:05,557
[Johnny echoing] Here we go.

1088
01:08:07,994 --> 01:08:10,028
You guys look like idiots.

1089
01:08:10,096 --> 01:08:11,863
[laughter]

1090
01:08:11,931 --> 01:08:13,015
Ready?

1091
01:08:14,733 --> 01:08:15,867
Fore!

1092
01:08:17,903 --> 01:08:19,504
[gasps] Oh!

1093
01:08:27,246 --> 01:08:29,548
- You all right?
- Yeah.

1094
01:08:29,615 --> 01:08:32,016
- Did you take it in the neck?
- Yeah.

1095
01:08:32,101 --> 01:08:34,552
[Ryan] Oh, my God, dude!

1096
01:08:34,620 --> 01:08:36,888
You took it
in the Adam's apple.

1097
01:08:42,962 --> 01:08:48,099
- [man] Hi, Spike.
- Ehren McGhehey.
Travis Bickle.

1098
01:08:48,167 --> 01:08:52,170
- He's got a tooth
that we need out.
- I need it out.

1099
01:08:52,238 --> 01:08:56,341
I need it because you need it.
Whatever you need, I need.

1100
01:08:56,409 --> 01:08:58,577
- Let's get it out.
- We need it together.

1101
01:08:58,644 --> 01:09:00,779
[toothbrush vibrating]

1102
01:09:00,847 --> 01:09:04,032
You wanna walk the walk,
you gotta talk the talk,

1103
01:09:04,099 --> 01:09:06,284
or no one will take
you seriously.

1104
01:09:06,386 --> 01:09:08,186
Dr. Pontius? Dr. Dunn?

1105
01:09:08,254 --> 01:09:10,856
- Can we do this?
- Finally!

1106
01:09:10,923 --> 01:09:13,058
Tie him up
and let's do it.

1107
01:09:13,125 --> 01:09:14,592
Sit down.

1108
01:09:15,627 --> 01:09:17,946
- Relax.
- Oh!

1109
01:09:19,715 --> 01:09:23,217
- [Johnny] Take it easy.
- [Ryan] Relax.

1110
01:09:23,236 --> 01:09:25,870
You know why this happened.

1111
01:09:25,938 --> 01:09:30,341
Flossing is just
as important as brushing.

1112
01:09:30,360 --> 01:09:32,960
So what we're going to do is
extract Ehren's crooked tooth

1113
01:09:33,028 --> 01:09:35,530
and then we're gonna replant it,
just like you would a tree.

1114
01:09:35,598 --> 01:09:38,300
- But straight.
- But straight.

1115
01:09:38,367 --> 01:09:43,004
I'm Danger Ehren, and this is
the Lamborghini Tooth Pull.

1116
01:09:43,072 --> 01:09:46,908
[Ryan] Here's the good news:
What you're doing is stupid.

1117
01:09:46,975 --> 01:09:48,376
So you got that going.

1118
01:09:48,444 --> 01:09:50,178
[Bam] Get in the
Lambo, shitbird!

1119
01:09:50,245 --> 01:09:53,415
This is gonna suck.

1120
01:09:53,516 --> 01:09:54,966
[Ryan] Did your barber
tell you to do this?

1121
01:09:55,034 --> 01:09:57,035
He seems like
he's full of bad ideas.

1122
01:09:59,271 --> 01:10:01,690
- Are you stoked?
- Uh-huh...

1123
01:10:01,757 --> 01:10:05,560
- It's a Lamborghini.
- [engine revving]

1124
01:10:05,627 --> 01:10:08,930
- [screaming]
- Listen to that thing.

1125
01:10:08,981 --> 01:10:13,017
- Open your eyes wide.
- Look at that bad-ass
Lamborghini.

1126
01:10:15,438 --> 01:10:16,371
Yeah!

1127
01:10:16,439 --> 01:10:19,374
- [tooth popping out]
- [screams]

1128
01:10:21,243 --> 01:10:22,610
God!

1129
01:10:26,582 --> 01:10:29,350
- [man] Way to go!
- Fuckin' deuce!

1130
01:10:29,419 --> 01:10:30,752
Victory.

1131
01:10:33,222 --> 01:10:36,591
[Ehren lisping] I wish I could
say that didn't suck.

1132
01:10:36,659 --> 01:10:39,327
- Oh, my God!
- [Ryan] You look terrible!

1133
01:10:41,597 --> 01:10:44,733
Is it gone? Is it gone?
It hurt!

1134
01:10:44,800 --> 01:10:47,702
- [Johnny] Oh, my God!
- You did good.

1135
01:10:47,770 --> 01:10:50,004
You did good.
You did good.

1136
01:10:50,073 --> 01:10:53,075
[Johnny] Man, that hurt me.
Not really.

1137
01:10:53,142 --> 01:10:54,809
[Wee Man] Let me see, Ehren.

1138
01:10:54,777 --> 01:10:58,646
- [Johnny] What'd it feel like?
- It hurt like a... [mumbles]

1139
01:10:58,714 --> 01:11:01,082
- What was that?
- I don't know.

1140
01:11:01,150 --> 01:11:04,819
- What... Are you crying?
- You're pulling my tooth.

1141
01:11:04,921 --> 01:11:06,370
- I'm not crying, I just...
- [Bam] We already pulled your
tooth.

1142
01:11:06,438 --> 01:11:07,904
We're not "pulling" your tooth.

1143
01:11:07,972 --> 01:11:11,524
[Ryan] The tooth
is officially pulled.

1144
01:11:11,592 --> 01:11:14,043
Ehren, remember how I said
I could replant the tooth?

1145
01:11:14,111 --> 01:11:16,930
- Yeah.
- That story wasn't true.

1146
01:11:20,133 --> 01:11:22,117
I'm sorry.

1147
01:11:22,185 --> 01:11:23,836
- Oh, my God.
- It was a story.

1148
01:11:23,904 --> 01:11:25,438
We were trying to build up
your confidence.

1149
01:11:25,505 --> 01:11:26,639
That hurts.

1150
01:11:28,392 --> 01:11:30,693
[Chris] A lot of doctors...
dentists...

1151
01:11:30,761 --> 01:11:32,562
I don't really consider them
real doctors.

1152
01:11:32,697 --> 01:11:36,483
They think they're God,
you know? Not me.

1153
01:11:38,085 --> 01:11:39,285
Satan.

1154
01:12:04,194 --> 01:12:06,195
[laughter]

1155
01:12:08,933 --> 01:12:12,569
[indistinct chattering]

1156
01:12:13,604 --> 01:12:17,023
[screaming]

1157
01:12:23,714 --> 01:12:25,281
[Dave] Yeah, he's soaked.

1158
01:12:28,051 --> 01:12:29,586
[country music plays]

1159
01:12:29,653 --> 01:12:33,456
¶ There's a party in my pants
and you're invited ¶

1160
01:12:33,524 --> 01:12:37,894
¶ A big fiesta in my trousers
I'm excited ¶

1161
01:12:37,961 --> 01:12:39,696
[laughter]

1162
01:12:39,764 --> 01:12:43,800
¶ I'm so happy, my little
cupcake, I can't hide it ¶

1163
01:12:43,868 --> 01:12:49,272
¶ There's a party in my pants
and you're invited ¶

1164
01:12:49,339 --> 01:12:52,908
¶ I'm sick and tired
of sad and broke and busted ¶

1165
01:12:52,976 --> 01:12:54,194
[laughter]

1166
01:12:54,261 --> 01:12:59,449
¶ I'm taking leave
of my troubles today ¶

1167
01:12:59,583 --> 01:13:02,902
¶ Hide everything
you don't wanna get shattered ¶

1168
01:13:02,970 --> 01:13:06,472
- Hey! You fucking...
- [Bam laughing]

1169
01:13:09,577 --> 01:13:14,113
¶ There's a party in my
pants and you're invited ¶

1170
01:13:14,181 --> 01:13:19,118
¶ A big fiesta in my trousers
I'm excited ¶

1171
01:13:19,186 --> 01:13:22,922
[screams]

1172
01:13:22,990 --> 01:13:24,557
How much piss do you have?!

1173
01:13:24,625 --> 01:13:27,293
[Bam] Dudes, I'm telling you,
I drank a dozen of them things.

1174
01:13:27,395 --> 01:13:31,497
All I got to say is,
Tremaine told me to do this.

1175
01:13:31,565 --> 01:13:34,300
[screams]

1176
01:13:34,368 --> 01:13:38,587
¶ A big fiesta in my trousers
I'm excited ¶

1177
01:13:38,706 --> 01:13:42,242
¶ I'm so happy, my little
cupcake, I can't hide it ¶

1178
01:13:42,309 --> 01:13:43,976
[laughter]

1179
01:13:44,045 --> 01:13:48,415
¶ There's a party in my pants
and you're invited ¶

1180
01:13:53,871 --> 01:13:56,138
Ap and Phil just arrived
in Los Angeles.

1181
01:13:56,206 --> 01:13:58,074
As soon as they check in
their hotel room,

1182
01:13:58,141 --> 01:14:01,377
there's gonna be a gorilla
in there, aka Chris Pontius,

1183
01:14:01,445 --> 01:14:04,614
and the trainer here, Will,
who's gonna try to tame him,

1184
01:14:04,682 --> 01:14:07,233
but it's gonna go
horribly wrong.

1185
01:14:06,967 --> 01:14:09,719
Basically, all hell's
gonna break loose.

1186
01:14:09,786 --> 01:14:11,754
It's gonna be a blood orgy.

1187
01:14:21,181 --> 01:14:23,282
[lock beeps]

1188
01:14:33,811 --> 01:14:35,561
My goodness.

1189
01:14:42,119 --> 01:14:44,553
- [grunting]
- [shrieking]

1190
01:14:48,793 --> 01:14:50,960
[April screaming]

1191
01:14:56,967 --> 01:15:01,454
- [doorknob clicking]
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

1192
01:15:01,522 --> 01:15:05,558
No, no, no, no, no!
It's OK! This is Samson.

1193
01:15:05,676 --> 01:15:08,861
[Will] Just don't make eye
contact. Samson, down. Be quiet.

1194
01:15:08,929 --> 01:15:11,247
He's a good boy. If he wants to
be a good boy, he's a good boy.

1195
01:15:11,265 --> 01:15:12,732
Just don't make any
sudden movements.

1196
01:15:12,799 --> 01:15:14,166
Don't make eye contact
with him. Samson...

1197
01:15:14,234 --> 01:15:17,403
[grunting]
OK, OK.

1198
01:15:19,673 --> 01:15:22,625
- [grunting]
- I'm getting my whip!

1199
01:15:25,444 --> 01:15:29,280
- [April]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- [man] Get out of here!

1200
01:15:33,669 --> 01:15:35,920
[April] Oh, God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

1201
01:15:35,988 --> 01:15:38,890
[Will]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Samson!

1202
01:15:38,958 --> 01:15:40,959
[April] Jesus Christ.
What the hell was that?

1203
01:15:41,027 --> 01:15:43,311
- There's a trainer...
- It's out! It's out!

1204
01:15:43,379 --> 01:15:45,513
What happened to Phil?

1205
01:15:45,581 --> 01:15:48,199
- The trainer will get him.
- He said be quiet.

1206
01:15:48,267 --> 01:15:50,067
[Will] Sam, Sam...

1207
01:15:50,136 --> 01:15:51,669
[April] Oh, my God.
I never saw a gorilla before.

1208
01:15:51,736 --> 01:15:53,804
- [Bam] He's tame.
- [April] He just
wrecked the whole room.

1209
01:15:53,872 --> 01:15:55,656
- [Bam] There's a
fucking trainer.
- [April] Big deal!

1210
01:15:55,892 --> 01:15:59,127
- Did this go wrong
or something?
- Kind of.

1211
01:15:59,194 --> 01:16:00,795
What was
supposed to happen?

1212
01:16:00,863 --> 01:16:03,665
- He's like the trainer...
- Oh, so what?

1213
01:16:03,733 --> 01:16:05,166
He seems all right now.

1214
01:16:05,234 --> 01:16:08,202
Was this supposed to be
just fun or something?

1215
01:16:08,271 --> 01:16:09,771
He wants to go
back in the room.

1216
01:16:09,838 --> 01:16:11,439
Do you have the key
to that room?

1217
01:16:11,507 --> 01:16:13,207
- Yeah.
- Give me the key.

1218
01:16:13,242 --> 01:16:15,677
- Give me the key.
- My husband's in there
somewhere.

1219
01:16:15,778 --> 01:16:17,212
[Bam] Is Phil OK?
Is Phil out here?

1220
01:16:17,279 --> 01:16:19,864
- [Phil] I shit myself!
- [Bam] What? Where is he?

1221
01:16:19,931 --> 01:16:22,416
- I had to take a mean shit.
- There's a gorilla.

1222
01:16:22,484 --> 01:16:25,153
I know. I had to take
a mean shit. It was coming out.

1223
01:16:25,221 --> 01:16:28,223
Hear it? It's all juicy.
I had to do it.

1224
01:16:28,290 --> 01:16:33,144
- [Bam] Phil, you are mingin'.
- I know. I had to.

1225
01:16:33,179 --> 01:16:36,047
I need this thing off. I can't
breathe. I need this off.

1226
01:16:36,115 --> 01:16:39,650
Is that a person?
That's a frickin' person.

1227
01:16:39,685 --> 01:16:41,986
- [Bam] It's Pontius, dipshit!
- Is that a person?

1228
01:16:42,054 --> 01:16:43,855
Is that a...

1229
01:16:43,923 --> 01:16:46,424
Oh, my God!
I can't believe it!

1230
01:16:47,727 --> 01:16:49,794
Did you almost
have a heart attack?

1231
01:16:49,862 --> 01:16:52,263
Oh, my God.

1232
01:16:56,568 --> 01:16:59,670
- I'm so glad you're fake.
- Welcome to L.A.

1233
01:16:59,739 --> 01:17:01,873
Phil's in there shittin'.

1234
01:17:01,941 --> 01:17:04,342
- Get...
- It scared
the shit out of Phil.

1235
01:17:06,244 --> 01:17:07,445
[man] All right.

1236
01:17:09,081 --> 01:17:11,049
- [Preston] That's a good one.
- [man] Get it! Go! Go!

1237
01:17:11,917 --> 01:17:13,718
[all shouting]

1238
01:17:17,789 --> 01:17:19,123
Holy shit!

1239
01:17:22,761 --> 01:17:24,962
Hello, my name is
Johnny Knoxville,

1240
01:17:25,030 --> 01:17:27,164
and today I'm
an Invisible Man.

1241
01:17:27,232 --> 01:17:29,233
[rock music plays]

1242
01:17:36,675 --> 01:17:38,309
You ready?

1243
01:17:39,912 --> 01:17:41,179
OK.

1244
01:17:42,698 --> 01:17:45,299
¶ I wanna be the ¶

1245
01:17:45,367 --> 01:17:47,952
¶ I wanna be
the invisible man ¶

1246
01:17:48,020 --> 01:17:49,954
Whoa!

1247
01:17:52,208 --> 01:17:53,241
[man] Take him around again.

1248
01:17:53,309 --> 01:17:58,279
- ¶ Six, five ¶
- Am I still invisible?

1249
01:17:58,330 --> 01:18:03,201
- ¶ Four, three ¶
- I hate when they do that.

1250
01:18:03,268 --> 01:18:06,504
- ¶ Two ¶
- [Johnny] Fuck me.

1251
01:18:06,572 --> 01:18:09,223
¶ One, blastoff ¶

1252
01:18:10,526 --> 01:18:14,879
Whoa! Where'd Knoxville go?

1253
01:18:15,865 --> 01:18:17,114
He's up ahead.

1254
01:18:18,216 --> 01:18:20,084
Is he close? Oh, fuck!

1255
01:18:25,190 --> 01:18:26,023
Open the gate!

1256
01:18:26,091 --> 01:18:29,293
[indistinct chattering]

1257
01:18:30,463 --> 01:18:32,814
That was fucking insane.

1258
01:18:34,417 --> 01:18:37,051
- [Ryan] No, he landed bad.
- [Loomis] He fell a little bit.

1259
01:18:37,119 --> 01:18:40,855
- [Ryan] Oh, Jesus.
- [man] You OK, Johnny?

1260
01:18:40,923 --> 01:18:42,557
[Bam] Dude, that was
a total neck-breaker.

1261
01:18:42,625 --> 01:18:44,992
[Ryan]
I think it jarred his head.

1262
01:18:45,060 --> 01:18:47,361
- [Jeff] Get the money shot?
- [Bam] Oh, yeah, dude.

1263
01:18:47,430 --> 01:18:49,731
Look at the feet mark
on top of the tree.

1264
01:18:49,765 --> 01:18:50,848
[Chris] Yeah, look it...

1265
01:18:53,385 --> 01:18:56,354
- I got ups. Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, you did.

1266
01:18:56,421 --> 01:18:58,088
[Loomis] You were
over the rainbow.

1267
01:18:58,157 --> 01:19:00,291
I was over the rainbow.

1268
01:19:02,461 --> 01:19:05,897
So, in this trailer,
we have a false floor

1269
01:19:05,964 --> 01:19:09,133
with an 11-foot-deep
pit we dug

1270
01:19:09,168 --> 01:19:10,934
and filled with rubber snakes.

1271
01:19:11,002 --> 01:19:14,155
And Bam thinks he's gonna be
doing a prank on Jeff,

1272
01:19:14,223 --> 01:19:16,157
who's sitting
in front of the trailer.

1273
01:19:16,208 --> 01:19:19,777
But he's gonna be falling into
that pit, and when he does,

1274
01:19:19,845 --> 01:19:21,745
Mr. David Weathers...

1275
01:19:22,947 --> 01:19:25,115
...has a few hundred
live snakes

1276
01:19:25,184 --> 01:19:27,151
we're gonna throw
in there with him.

1277
01:19:29,888 --> 01:19:32,056
Bam really hates snakes, too.

1278
01:19:32,108 --> 01:19:35,893
[Johnny] This may be the first
time Bam cries in the film.

1279
01:19:36,728 --> 01:19:38,295
- [man] You ready?
- Yeah.

1280
01:19:38,363 --> 01:19:40,965
- All right.
- [man] You want to...?

1281
01:19:41,033 --> 01:19:43,200
Tremaine's in a very
vulnerable spot.

1282
01:19:43,268 --> 01:19:45,369
I think it's time for Rocky.

1283
01:19:45,437 --> 01:19:47,538
I think it's Rocky 4,
I believe.

1284
01:19:47,606 --> 01:19:50,507
Either way, he's getting
punched in the face.

1285
01:19:50,576 --> 01:19:52,543
[Ryan] Shh. Be quiet.

1286
01:20:05,190 --> 01:20:06,924
[Bam] Oh, fuck!

1287
01:20:07,009 --> 01:20:08,592
Fucking fuck.

1288
01:20:12,131 --> 01:20:13,531
No!

1289
01:20:13,598 --> 01:20:16,667
Are they real?
Get me the fuck out of here.

1290
01:20:17,753 --> 01:20:21,205
You cocksuckers.
Dude, get me out, man.

1291
01:20:21,273 --> 01:20:23,541
- [man] They're not real, dude.
- [Johnny] What happened?

1292
01:20:28,480 --> 01:20:31,265
- [Bam] I want out, man.
- [man] Bam. Bam.

1293
01:20:31,333 --> 01:20:34,402
What, what?!
Don't do this to me!

1294
01:20:34,503 --> 01:20:38,622
Yo, seriously, get me out!
Get me the fuck out now!

1295
01:20:38,690 --> 01:20:41,259
Now! Get me out now!

1296
01:20:41,326 --> 01:20:44,528
Dude, stop, stop, stop!

1297
01:20:44,596 --> 01:20:46,147
[Johnny] Oh, Jesus.
I'm stepping back for this one.

1298
01:20:46,215 --> 01:20:48,199
[Bam] Dude,
stop fucking with me!

1299
01:20:48,300 --> 01:20:52,904
- [man] Hey, Bam.
- Dude, I fucking hate you guys.

1300
01:20:52,938 --> 01:20:56,373
- Dimitry, please! Please!
- Is he crying?

1301
01:20:56,441 --> 01:20:58,109
- [Bam] Please! Please!
- He's really crying.

1302
01:20:58,227 --> 01:21:01,646
Tremaine, you motherfucker!
Get me out now!

1303
01:21:03,381 --> 01:21:06,450
It's not funny.
It's not funny!

1304
01:21:06,518 --> 01:21:09,988
[Johnny] It's not funny?
I'm gonna argue with you on that
one, Bam.

1305
01:21:10,055 --> 01:21:11,656
You fucking assholes!

1306
01:21:11,724 --> 01:21:13,658
- Get him out.
- Get me out.

1307
01:21:13,726 --> 01:21:15,192
Get me out.

1308
01:21:19,999 --> 01:21:22,266
You can't do that to me, man.

1309
01:21:24,269 --> 01:21:26,904
[Ryan] Sorry, bud.

1310
01:21:26,972 --> 01:21:29,473
Dude, that is the worst fear
I could ever imagine.

1311
01:21:29,541 --> 01:21:32,910
You fucking dick-sucking,
fucking asshole

1312
01:21:32,977 --> 01:21:34,945
motherfuckers
just did that to me.

1313
01:21:37,182 --> 01:21:39,249
[man] Look at the
snake tracks on his back.

1314
01:21:39,318 --> 01:21:41,619
[Johnny] You have
snake marks on your back.

1315
01:21:41,687 --> 01:21:43,321
[growling]

1316
01:21:47,159 --> 01:21:49,293
- [Johnny] Oh, my God.
- [man] That one is so big!

1317
01:21:49,361 --> 01:21:52,763
[Johnny] That looks
like hell in there.

1318
01:21:52,865 --> 01:21:56,034
That was fucking terrifying.
I can't think of anything
more terrifying

1319
01:21:56,101 --> 01:21:59,370
than that, that just
happened right now.

1320
01:21:59,437 --> 01:22:01,605
Well, you're welcome, man.

1321
01:22:04,176 --> 01:22:06,044
Fucking cocksucker.

1322
01:22:07,680 --> 01:22:11,382
Your voice definitely did have
different nuances to it

1323
01:22:11,449 --> 01:22:15,119
when you were hollering out
for... getting out of there.

1324
01:22:15,187 --> 01:22:17,055
Stop it, man!

1325
01:22:17,122 --> 01:22:20,191
Fuck, man! You're gonna make me
have a heart... Seriously...

1326
01:22:20,258 --> 01:22:24,996
Thank God I am leaving at three.
I am counting down the minutes.

1327
01:22:25,064 --> 01:22:29,600
Seriously. With fucking
David Weathers around.

1328
01:22:29,668 --> 01:22:32,269
I'm gonna see if there's
a one-hour-earlier flight.

1329
01:22:37,993 --> 01:22:40,411
[slow-tempo music plays]

1330
01:22:46,085 --> 01:22:47,985
¶ The whiz kids had won it ¶

1331
01:22:48,053 --> 01:22:50,154
¶ Bobby Thomson had done it ¶

1332
01:22:50,222 --> 01:22:54,358
¶ And Yogi read the comics
all the while ¶

1333
01:22:54,426 --> 01:22:56,461
¶ Rock 'n' roll
was bein' born ¶

1334
01:22:56,528 --> 01:22:58,563
¶ Marijuana we would scorn ¶

1335
01:22:58,630 --> 01:22:59,830
¶ So down on the corner ¶

1336
01:22:59,898 --> 01:23:02,166
¶ The national pastime
went on trial ¶

1337
01:23:02,234 --> 01:23:04,702
¶ We're talkin' baseball ¶

1338
01:23:04,769 --> 01:23:06,571
¶ Kluszewski, Campanella ¶

1339
01:23:06,638 --> 01:23:09,540
¶ The Scooter, the Barber
and the Newc ¶

1340
01:23:09,608 --> 01:23:15,546
¶ Especially Willie,
Mickey and the Duke ¶

1341
01:23:15,614 --> 01:23:18,616
¶ Say hey, say hey, say hey ¶

1342
01:23:21,002 --> 01:23:24,538
Most people don't like the idea
of being covered in dog shit,

1343
01:23:24,606 --> 01:23:28,175
but that doesn't bother me
nearly as much as, like,

1344
01:23:28,243 --> 01:23:31,278
rollercoasters
and bungee jumping.

1345
01:23:31,346 --> 01:23:33,514
I just can't do that shit, man.

1346
01:23:33,582 --> 01:23:35,750
That's why this is
gonna be fantastic.

1347
01:23:36,885 --> 01:23:39,387
[Steve-O] It's basically
like a poo coaster.

1348
01:23:39,455 --> 01:23:42,673
- [Johnny] You have
really irrational fears.
- [Steve-O] I know.

1349
01:23:42,808 --> 01:23:45,292
"Cast me out to sea with sharks,
I don't care."

1350
01:23:45,360 --> 01:23:48,462
"Put the hook through my cheek.
But I'm not bungee diving."

1351
01:23:48,530 --> 01:23:49,964
What the fuck?

1352
01:23:52,484 --> 01:23:54,518
[Steve-O]
[groaning] Oh, my God.

1353
01:23:55,687 --> 01:23:56,988
Come here, dude.

1354
01:23:58,690 --> 01:24:00,424
I'm trying.

1355
01:24:00,492 --> 01:24:03,494
- [Ryan] What's the problem?
- It fuckin' stinks like sh...

1356
01:24:03,561 --> 01:24:05,329
...shit.

1357
01:24:05,381 --> 01:24:08,666
[Johnny] I think it's about ten
years ago today that I was doing

1358
01:24:08,733 --> 01:24:11,735
the first Poo Cocktail and
now you're taking the reins

1359
01:24:11,803 --> 01:24:13,971
and taking it
to a whole other level.

1360
01:24:14,039 --> 01:24:16,773
- Yep.
- You look pretty
happy about it.

1361
01:24:16,892 --> 01:24:19,093
Hey, let's get me down
pretty fucking quick after this.

1362
01:24:19,160 --> 01:24:22,096
I'm gonna be so claustrophobic,
it's gonna be ridiculous.

1363
01:24:22,181 --> 01:24:24,899
- Do you have claustrophobia?
- Yeah.

1364
01:24:24,967 --> 01:24:27,267
Just relax
and enjoy your shit.

1365
01:24:29,954 --> 01:24:33,207
I'm Steve-O, and this is
the Poo Cocktail Supreme.

1366
01:24:37,079 --> 01:24:39,279
All right. Good luck.

1367
01:24:43,485 --> 01:24:45,786
- [man] You ready, Steve-O?
- No.

1368
01:24:50,909 --> 01:24:53,744
Order up!
Poo Cocktail Supreme!

1369
01:24:55,747 --> 01:24:59,016
[all shouting]

1370
01:24:59,101 --> 01:25:00,367
Oh, shit!

1371
01:25:08,677 --> 01:25:11,211
[all shouting]

1372
01:25:17,870 --> 01:25:19,904
[shouting]

1373
01:25:23,275 --> 01:25:24,808
Oh, shit!

1374
01:25:38,040 --> 01:25:41,008
[wheezing] He's puking!

1375
01:25:47,099 --> 01:25:48,232
[man] Fucking gross.

1376
01:25:49,834 --> 01:25:51,936
[Johnny] What's wrong
with you, Bam?

1377
01:25:54,623 --> 01:25:57,007
[Ryan] Oh, my God, dude.

1378
01:25:57,075 --> 01:25:58,759
[Johnny] Are you OK, Steve-O?

1379
01:25:58,826 --> 01:26:00,177
Oh, my God!

1380
01:26:00,245 --> 01:26:03,464
It's gonna be ugly. I don't know
if you wanna see this.

1381
01:26:06,318 --> 01:26:08,286
Oh, my God!

1382
01:26:08,353 --> 01:26:09,353
Oh, Jesus.

1383
01:26:10,722 --> 01:26:14,025
- [Johnny] Help him
out of there!
- [man] Let him out!

1384
01:26:14,092 --> 01:26:15,642
I'm ready...

1385
01:26:21,566 --> 01:26:22,833
[Bam] Oh, my God.

1386
01:26:22,901 --> 01:26:24,802
Jump in that lake
right now.

1387
01:26:24,869 --> 01:26:26,670
[Johnny] Oh, my God!

1388
01:26:26,738 --> 01:26:28,505
Oh, my God.

1389
01:26:35,680 --> 01:26:37,748
[coughing, retching]

1390
01:26:39,751 --> 01:26:41,018
Jesus!

1391
01:26:44,422 --> 01:26:46,423
[Dave] Oh, God, it's so gross.

1392
01:26:50,011 --> 01:26:54,115
[Chris] This is the kind of
extreme shit that those extreme
dudes don't even think of.

1393
01:26:58,854 --> 01:27:02,155
That had it all. That had
danger. It had shit.

1394
01:27:02,173 --> 01:27:06,493
It had puke. That's what
this show is all about.

1395
01:27:07,762 --> 01:27:09,630
And sex appeal.

1396
01:27:13,367 --> 01:27:15,803
All right, fellas, we're gonna
play a little game called

1397
01:27:15,870 --> 01:27:17,972
Escaped Convict
and Warden's Wife.

1398
01:27:18,073 --> 01:27:22,559
And I'm pretty sure
something sucky's gonna happen
when I push this.

1399
01:27:22,627 --> 01:27:26,781
So would you guys rather
listen to Steve-O's rap album,

1400
01:27:26,848 --> 01:27:29,917
- or have me push this plunger?
- [all] Push the plunger!

1401
01:27:31,519 --> 01:27:34,789
All right,
let's end this turkey.

1402
01:27:34,856 --> 01:27:37,524
[Johnny] Glasses on! Goggles on!

1403
01:27:37,626 --> 01:27:39,827
Hello. My name's
Johnny Knoxville

1404
01:27:39,895 --> 01:27:41,595
and I'm about to
end this movie.

1405
01:27:43,698 --> 01:27:44,932
What?

1406
01:27:47,001 --> 01:27:50,203
[orchestral music plays]

1407
01:29:31,872 --> 01:29:33,856
[all shouting]

1408
01:29:43,884 --> 01:29:45,401
Oh, my God!

1409
01:29:45,469 --> 01:29:47,970
Oh, my God! I don't believe...
Can you believe this?

1410
01:29:48,038 --> 01:29:50,406
I don't understand
what the hell they're doing?

1411
01:29:50,474 --> 01:29:53,810
I mean, it looks more
like a riptide to me.
Don't you think so?

1412
01:29:53,877 --> 01:29:56,746
This is ridiculous.
Now wait just a second.

1413
01:29:56,814 --> 01:29:59,148
- How...?
Is this the way you make...
- Rip Taylor!

1414
01:29:59,215 --> 01:30:02,000
[Rip] Shut up yourself!
I'm just fed up.

1415
01:30:02,102 --> 01:30:03,803
Who's the fat guy
in the Speedo?

1416
01:30:03,870 --> 01:30:06,121
Look in the mirr...
Oh, my God.

1417
01:30:06,189 --> 01:30:07,673
Look in the mirror.

1418
01:30:07,741 --> 01:30:11,143
[Rip] A grown man.
And they did it.

1419
01:30:11,245 --> 01:30:14,296
And I can't believe
all the confetti.

1420
01:30:14,331 --> 01:30:17,766
And don't forget...
Jackass 3D.

1421
01:30:18,702 --> 01:30:20,703
- 3D!
- Thank you.

1422
01:30:20,770 --> 01:30:22,771
No tongue! No tongue!

1423
01:30:23,473 --> 01:30:24,807
No tongue!

1424
01:30:25,609 --> 01:30:26,909
No tongue!

1425
01:30:30,914 --> 01:30:32,932
[up-tempo music plays]

1426
01:30:33,000 --> 01:30:34,283
[all shouting]

1427
01:30:51,302 --> 01:30:52,451
[man] Yeah!

1428
01:30:55,856 --> 01:30:57,590
[yells]

1429
01:30:59,727 --> 01:31:03,863
I'm Danger Ehren, and that was
the Lamborghini Tooth Pull.

1430
01:31:03,931 --> 01:31:05,832
- We're not using that.
- I don't care.

1431
01:31:05,899 --> 01:31:07,533
[laughter]

1432
01:31:09,970 --> 01:31:12,438
Now we are using that.

1433
01:31:12,505 --> 01:31:14,690
[rock music plays]

1434
01:31:16,910 --> 01:31:18,561
[all shout]

1435
01:31:24,601 --> 01:31:26,268
Oh!

1436
01:31:27,888 --> 01:31:30,623
¶ Danger up ahead ¶

1437
01:31:31,658 --> 01:31:33,309
[man] Dude!

1438
01:31:33,377 --> 01:31:37,146
I was joking.
You just broke Jeff's cam...
You broke your camera.

1439
01:31:37,214 --> 01:31:41,651
¶ That hold you down ¶

1440
01:31:44,521 --> 01:31:48,157
¶ Live your life,
take a risk ¶

1441
01:31:48,225 --> 01:31:51,827
¶ We'll never die
in the afterworld ¶

1442
01:31:51,862 --> 01:31:56,115
¶ In the end, start again ¶

1443
01:31:56,183 --> 01:31:59,869
¶ We'll stay alive
in the afterworld ¶

1444
01:31:59,937 --> 01:32:01,204
Fucker!

1445
01:32:01,271 --> 01:32:03,372
¶ Live your life,
take a risk ¶

1446
01:32:03,440 --> 01:32:05,374
Fuck, OK, you got me, dude.

1447
01:32:05,442 --> 01:32:08,277
¶ We'll stay alive
in the afterworld ¶

1448
01:32:08,345 --> 01:32:11,547
Bro-zilian, take two, mark.

1449
01:32:11,615 --> 01:32:14,967
¶ We'll never die
in the afterworld ¶

1450
01:32:16,537 --> 01:32:19,639
[screams]
Dude! Dude! Cut the...

1451
01:32:19,706 --> 01:32:24,243
Dude, I will fucking punch you
in the face, dude! Stop it.

1452
01:32:24,311 --> 01:32:27,963
¶ When we wanna
you know we're gonna ¶

1453
01:32:28,031 --> 01:32:29,799
¶ Die ¶

1454
01:32:30,466 --> 01:32:31,967
Whoa!

1455
01:32:32,035 --> 01:32:34,103
Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[screams]

1456
01:32:37,491 --> 01:32:38,891
[Chris] [groaning]

1457
01:32:38,958 --> 01:32:40,492
Oh, don't be a sissy.

1458
01:32:42,061 --> 01:32:44,163
[man] Three, two, one, go!

1459
01:32:44,231 --> 01:32:46,065
[Wee Man] [screams]

1460
01:32:48,668 --> 01:32:51,437
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to Jackass.

1461
01:32:53,239 --> 01:32:58,861
- [indistinct chattering]
- [screaming]

1462
01:32:58,929 --> 01:33:00,096
Cut!

1463
01:33:02,298 --> 01:33:05,968
[mid-tempo music plays]

1464
01:33:06,036 --> 01:33:07,904
My name is
Eddie Barbanell,

1465
01:33:07,971 --> 01:33:10,773
and this is some bullshit
with a plunger.

1466
01:33:10,841 --> 01:33:12,308
Preston, move your ass.

1467
01:33:12,375 --> 01:33:14,710
¶ If you're gonna be dumb
you gotta be tough ¶

1468
01:33:14,778 --> 01:33:16,112
Yeah!

1469
01:33:17,764 --> 01:33:20,766
¶ When you get knocked down
you gotta get back up ¶

1470
01:33:23,337 --> 01:33:25,805
- ¶ I ain't the sharpest
knife in the drawer ¶
- Come back here!

1471
01:33:25,822 --> 01:33:28,741
¶ But I know enough, to know ¶

1472
01:33:28,809 --> 01:33:32,011
- ¶ If you're gonna be dumb
you gotta be tough ¶
- This bruise looks old.

1473
01:33:32,078 --> 01:33:35,080
Yeah, there's been a lot of
stuff going on back there.

1474
01:33:35,148 --> 01:33:36,732
¶ I lit my brain
with rotgut whiskey ¶

1475
01:33:36,799 --> 01:33:38,134
[Bam] That's an
official break.

1476
01:33:38,201 --> 01:33:40,936
[Chris] Jeez. That's so gnarly.

1477
01:33:41,004 --> 01:33:43,005
That's some serious bragging
rights, right there.

1478
01:33:44,157 --> 01:33:45,357
Happy birthday!

1479
01:33:45,425 --> 01:33:47,393
[all shouting]

1480
01:33:47,460 --> 01:33:52,031
[indistinct chattering]

1481
01:33:52,098 --> 01:33:53,399
Thanks.

1482
01:33:53,466 --> 01:33:55,451
¶ Teach me how
to swallow pride ¶

1483
01:33:57,821 --> 01:34:00,222
¶ I took advice
no fool would take ¶

1484
01:34:00,290 --> 01:34:03,125
Oh, right there.
That's the spot.

1485
01:34:03,210 --> 01:34:06,979
¶ I got some habits
I can't shake ¶

1486
01:34:08,982 --> 01:34:11,183
¶ I ain't the sharpest
knife in the drawer ¶

1487
01:34:11,251 --> 01:34:15,871
Sorry. Had we known
you didn't like red,
we wouldn't have wore this.

1488
01:34:16,590 --> 01:34:18,190
Thanks, buddy.

1489
01:34:19,526 --> 01:34:22,044
[Ehren] He's got it,
he's got it! Oh, shit!

1490
01:34:25,149 --> 01:34:29,201
¶ When you get knocked down
you gotta get back up ¶

1491
01:34:31,772 --> 01:34:34,974
¶ That's the way it is
in life and love ¶

1492
01:34:37,160 --> 01:34:40,729
¶ If you're gonna be dumb
you gotta be tough ¶

1493
01:34:44,768 --> 01:34:48,003
- [screams]
- [Johnny] Man, you jumped!

1494
01:34:49,806 --> 01:34:55,561
¶ If you're gonna be dumb
you gotta be tough ¶

1495
01:34:55,629 --> 01:34:58,814
¶ When you get knocked down
you gotta get back up ¶

1496
01:35:02,619 --> 01:35:04,987
Oh, you fucker. You fucker.

1497
01:35:06,890 --> 01:35:10,209
¶ If you're gonna be dumb
you gotta be tough ¶

1498
01:35:12,429 --> 01:35:15,998
¶ If you're gonna be dumb
you gotta be tough ¶

1499
01:35:16,066 --> 01:35:19,051
I did it like you said.
I held the brake...

1500
01:35:19,118 --> 01:35:20,820
¶ If you're gonna be dumb
you gotta be tough ¶

1501
01:35:20,871 --> 01:35:23,255
Like this, while it's still...

1502
01:35:30,079 --> 01:35:33,181
- Oh, my God!
- Yes!

1503
01:35:33,249 --> 01:35:34,349
Yeah!

1504
01:35:34,418 --> 01:35:36,285
[Johnny]
That's my girl.

1505
01:35:36,386 --> 01:35:39,604
- You're gonna roller-skate.
- [Johnny] Yeah, I'm an
awesome roller skater.

1506
01:35:39,672 --> 01:35:43,508
I know. I saw you
a long time ago at the
L.A. River when you were...

1507
01:35:43,576 --> 01:35:46,946
- Why you gotta bring that up?
- [man] You were amazing!

1508
01:35:47,013 --> 01:35:48,613
My name is Johnny Knoxville,

1509
01:35:48,681 --> 01:35:50,649
and today, I'm gonna
jump the L.A. River.

1510
01:35:50,767 --> 01:35:52,551
[rock music plays]

1511
01:35:55,772 --> 01:35:57,606
Help me! Help me!

1512
01:35:57,674 --> 01:36:01,510
¶ Pissing in plastic cups
before we went on stage ¶

1513
01:36:01,578 --> 01:36:06,431
- ¶ Playing hackey sack ¶
- How's it going? I'm Steve-O,

1514
01:36:06,499 --> 01:36:08,868
and I collected nine days
of elephant shit.

1515
01:36:08,935 --> 01:36:11,103
No wait, that doesn't work.
What should I say?

1516
01:36:11,171 --> 01:36:12,437
[Johnny]
Say whatever you want.

1517
01:36:14,640 --> 01:36:17,860
¶ Listening to techno music
on the bus ¶

1518
01:36:17,928 --> 01:36:20,695
¶ While we earned our checks ¶

1519
01:36:20,763 --> 01:36:26,419
¶ Memories make me want to go
back there, back there ¶

1520
01:36:26,486 --> 01:36:28,421
¶ All the memories ¶

1521
01:36:28,488 --> 01:36:30,622
¶ Make me want to go
back there, back there ¶

1522
01:36:30,690 --> 01:36:33,392
- Hi. I'm Jeff.
- Hi. I'm April.

1523
01:36:33,460 --> 01:36:35,127
- It's nice to meet you.
- Hi, April. Nice meeting you.

1524
01:36:35,195 --> 01:36:38,964
¶ How can we make it
back there, back there ¶

1525
01:36:39,032 --> 01:36:41,367
Look at these
haggard tattoos he has!

1526
01:36:41,435 --> 01:36:45,070
He's got a Chili Peppers sign.
And what's this? Blair Witch?

1527
01:36:45,155 --> 01:36:47,540
- [Ryan]
What's this one over here?
- [Bam] That's a noose.

1528
01:36:47,607 --> 01:36:49,575
- What does that mean?
- I don't know.

1529
01:36:49,643 --> 01:36:51,944
¶ Telling stupid lies ¶

1530
01:36:52,011 --> 01:36:55,013
¶ They had a feeling
that something was up ¶

1531
01:36:55,082 --> 01:36:58,084
- ¶ Because of the
look in our eyes ¶
- [man] That's Trip.

1532
01:36:58,151 --> 01:37:01,687
- [Jeff] And action.
- Hi. Welcome to Jackass.

1533
01:37:01,754 --> 01:37:05,524
I never wanted to be this.
I was hired to move the ramps,

1534
01:37:05,591 --> 01:37:07,559
'cause I was the only one
with a pickup truck.

1535
01:37:07,627 --> 01:37:11,096
¶ And sure of our
way through life ¶

1536
01:37:11,164 --> 01:37:17,302
¶ Memories make me want to go
back there, back there ¶

1537
01:37:17,370 --> 01:37:20,438
- ¶ All the memories ¶
- Do it up and down.

1538
01:37:20,506 --> 01:37:23,508
¶ Make me want to go
back there, back there ¶

1539
01:37:23,577 --> 01:37:28,581
¶ All the memories
How can we make it
back there? ¶

1540
01:37:28,648 --> 01:37:34,320
¶ Back there
I want to be there again ¶

1541
01:37:37,590 --> 01:37:40,059
[shouting]

1542
01:37:40,126 --> 01:37:42,727
[laughter]

1543
01:37:42,795 --> 01:37:45,464
¶ I never know when
I'll become awake ¶

1544
01:37:45,531 --> 01:37:48,533
You! Pull that fucking camera
back, jackass.

1545
01:37:49,535 --> 01:37:51,070
I know Johnny Knoxville,

1546
01:37:51,137 --> 01:37:54,073
and he is not broadcasting
my crack to millions of people.

1547
01:37:55,641 --> 01:38:00,846
¶ I gotta get my groove on
because I'm freaking bored ¶

1548
01:38:02,783 --> 01:38:03,899
[Jeff] Is this shoot over?

1549
01:38:03,966 --> 01:38:07,802
Yeah. What did you want out of
it? You got whatever, you know?

1550
01:38:14,810 --> 01:38:16,111
[screaming]

1551
01:38:19,315 --> 01:38:20,782
¶ Mmm ¶

1552
01:38:20,850 --> 01:38:26,388
¶ Memories make me want to go
back there, back there ¶

1553
01:38:26,456 --> 01:38:28,607
¶ All the memories ¶

1554
01:38:28,642 --> 01:38:32,962
¶ Make me want to go
back there, back there ¶

1555
01:38:33,029 --> 01:38:34,730
¶ All the memories ¶

1556
01:38:34,798 --> 01:38:39,284
¶ Make me want to go
back there, back there ¶

1557
01:38:39,352 --> 01:38:41,053
¶ All the memories ¶

1558
01:38:41,121 --> 01:38:43,505
¶ How can we make it
back there ¶

1559
01:38:43,573 --> 01:38:45,324
You did great today, Jeff.

1560
01:38:45,392 --> 01:38:50,762
¶ I want to be there again ¶

1561
01:38:51,681 --> 01:38:53,798
[camera rolling]

1562
01:38:57,370 --> 01:38:59,204
[Johnny] Reminder:
The stunts in this movie

1563
01:38:59,272 --> 01:39:00,706
were performed
by professionals,

1564
01:39:00,774 --> 01:39:03,042
so for your safety and the
protection of those around you,

1565
01:39:03,109 --> 01:39:05,377
do not attempt any of the
stunts you have just seen.