[ Horn blares ]
Man on radio: THE FIRST PRIORITY FOR NEW ENGLAND
IS TO GET THEIR DEFENSE HEALTHY.
THEIR DEFENSE IS FINE, YOU MORONS.
THEY ALLOWED AN AVERAGE OF 10 POINTS PER GAME LAST YEAR.
...THROW FOR, YOU KNOW --
HE WAS, WHAT, I THINK HE WAS 7 OF...
[ GUN COCKS ]
[ GUNFIRE, SCREAMING ]
[ Russian accent ] EVERYBODY DOWN! DOWN!
HELL!
NO! NO!
GET AWAY FROM THE VEHICLE!
[ GUNSHOTS, MAN GRUNTS ]
Man: DAVAI! DAVAI! DAVAI! DAVAI! DAVAI!
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
I'VE BEEN A COP WITH THE BOSTON P.D. FOR OVER 20 YEARS.
MY WIFE GOT LAID OFF A COUPLE MONTHS AGO,
SO I PICKED UP SOME SHIFTS WITH A SECURITY COMPANY
TO MAKE ENDS MEET.
MR. COSPITO, YOU WERE DOING A SIDE JOB FOR KERRITY DIAMONDS?
PLEASE, CALL ME JOEY.
I'M FEELING LIKE AN OLD MAN THESE DAYS AS IT IS.
I WAS HAULING ABOUT $10 MILLION IN DIAMONDS THAT DAY.
I'D DONE THE SAME ROUTE FIVE, MAYBE SIX TIMES BEFORE --
NO PROBLEM.
ARMORED-CAR DRIVERS ARE SUPPOSED TO STAY WITH THE VEHICLE, RIGHT?
I'M A COP FIRST.
MY INSTINCT WAS STOP A ROBBERY IN PROGRESS.
HELL OF A JOB I DID, HUH?
ONE GUARD FOR A DELIVERY THAT SIZE?
AH, THESE DAYS,
WITH COMPANIES PINCHING ANYWHERE THEY CAN,
HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.
IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE AN INSIDE JOB.
EXCEPT THEY THOUGHT THE INSIDE MAN WAS ME.
HEY, I KNOW -- FIRST GUY YOU LOOK AT
IS THE BLUE-COLLAR GUY WHO'S GOT MONEY TROUBLE.
UNTIL THIS INVESTIGATION'S CLOSED AND MY NAME IS CLEARED,
I'M SUSPENDED FROM THE FORCE WITHOUT PAY.
YEAH, ALTHOUGH, NOT MUCH OF AN INVESTIGATION.
NO WITNESSES, NO PRINTS.
TRACE ELEMENTS OF THE EXPLOSIVE THEY USED,
FAST-BURNING DET CORD.
MEDICAL BILLS ARE PILING UP.
AND THERE'S NO WORK FOR A GUY
WITH A BUM SHOULDER AND AN OPEN INVESTIGATION.
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, JOEY, WE'RE GONNA DO EVERYTHING WE CAN
TO HELP YOU WITH THAT, ALL RIGHT?
NEVER THOUGHT IT'D BE SO TOUGH
JUST TO TRY AND KEEP A ROOF OVER MY FAMILY'S HEAD, YOU KNOW?
YEAH.
[ SIGHS ]
WHO'S THE OTHER DRINK FOR?
THE, UH...
OH, SHE'S, UH...
NOBODY.
THE RICH AND POWERFUL, THEY TAKE WHAT THEY WANT.
WE STEAL IT BACK FOR YOU.
AND SOMETIMES, BAD GUYS MAKE THE BEST GOOD GUYS.
WE PROVIDE...
JIM KERRITY III -- HE TOOK OVER KERRITY DIAMONDS
FOUR YEARS AGO, AFTER HIS OLD MAN RETIRED.
AND IN THAT SMALL AMOUNT OF TIME,
HE MANAGED TO DRIVE THE BUSINESS STRAIGHT INTO THE GROUND
BY LIVING WAY BEYOND HIS MEANS.
I'M TALKING DRUGS, BOOZE, WOMEN.
ACCORDING TO HIS CREDIT CARDS, SAME AS -- WHAT?
WHAT? WHAT? WHY? WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT? WHAT?
-WHAT? -IT'S DISTRACTING.
WELL, THE COUCH IS JUST FEELING A LITTLE EMPTY.
ELIOT, WILL YOU PLEASE SIT NEXT TO PARKER?
NO. I'M SITTING HERE NOW.
GUYS, GUYS, ALL RIGHT, WE ALL MISS SOPHIE.
WE JUST HAVE TO ADAPT.
-I GOT THIS. MOVE. GO. BYE. -PLEASE.
GO.
YOU HAPPY?
NOW, KERRITY'S FINANCES ARE A MESS --
MAXED OUT, MAXED OUT, OVERDRAWN.
ACCORDING TO THE INSURANCE CLAIM,
HE STANDS TO GAIN $9 MILLION FROM THE ARMORED-CAR ROBBERY.
YOU KNOW, A GUY LIKE THIS, HE GETS IN OVER HIS HEAD,
AND HIS INSURANCE POLICY STARTS TO LOOK PRETTY ATTRACTIVE.
HIRES A COUPLE OF THUGS, KNOCKS OFF HIS OWN TRUCK.
IT'S A SWEET PAYOUT, TOO.
HE GETS THE INSURANCE CLAIM, PLUS HE STILL HAS THE DIAMONDS.
MM-HMM, AND HONEST PEOPLE LIKE JOEY TAKE THE HEAT.
YOU KNOW, THE THING ABOUT THIS MOST PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND
IS INSURANCE FRAUD -- IT'S A LOT OF RED TAPE.
I MEAN, A BIG CLAIM LIKE THIS --
IT'LL TAKE ABOUT A YEAR BEFORE KERRITY SEES ANY OF THE MONEY.
AND THE BILL COLLECTORS -- THEY'RE NOT GONNA WAIT AROUND.
-HE'S GOT TO FENCE THE DIAMONDS. -HE CAN'T.
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN? -HIS DIAMONDS ARE GIA-CERTIFIED,
VVS CLARITY, ALL ABOUT TWO CARATS.
THAT'S MY CLICKER.
WHO STOLE THE POLAR STAR?
WHO STOLE THE GEM OF GIBRALTAR?
DAMIANI RAID? ME.
I KNOW DIAMONDS.
AND OUR BAD GUY CAN'T FENCE THOSE DIAMONDS
BECAUSE STONES THAT SIZE
HAVE AN I.D. NUMBER LASER-INSCRIBED ON THEM.
OH, SO IT'S LIKE A STOLEN CAR.
YOU GOT TO CLEAN THE VIN BEFORE YOU CAN SELL THEM.
HOW DO YOU GET THAT I.D. NUMBER OFF?
WITH A SPECIAL LASER, BUT ONLY THREE GUYS CAN DO IT --
ANTWERP, DUBAI, TEL AVIV.
AND AS OF RIGHT NOW, BOSTON, RIGHT?
I MEAN, KERRITY HAS TO MOVE HIS DIAMONDS,
SO WE CONVINCE HIM THAT WE'RE THE ONLY PEOPLE
WHO CAN MAKE THEM CLEAN ENOUGH TO MOVE.
GET THEM TO BRING THE DIAMONDS TO US.
AND WHEN HE SHOWS UP --
OH, HARDISON, CAN YOU PUT THE CRIME-SCENE PHOTOS...
CAN -- CAN...
STATE POLICE GUY, LIEUTENANT BONANNO.
YEAH. SO, WE DROP KERRITY ON HIS LAP WITH THE STOLEN DIAMONDS.
LIEUTENANT BONANNO DROPS THE HAMMER.
OUR GUY GETS CLEARED, GETS HIS JOB BACK.
PARDON ME, BUT I DON'T MEAN TO STOP THE FUN TRAIN --
WE'RE OUT A GRIFTER HERE.
I KNOW WHO WE CAN CALL.
NO. WE'RE NOT GONNA CALL SOPHIE.
NO. SHE HAS ASKED FOR SPACE, AND WE'RE GONNA HONOR THAT.
NO.
HARDISON, YOU'RE GONNA BE OUR GRIFTER.
-I'M LISTENING. -WHAT? NO, NO, NO.
-PARKER, YOU'LL BE THE ROPER. -WHAT?
CUTE DRESS, HEELS -- YOU'LL BE FINE.
SURE. I'LL BE FINE.
ELIOT, YOU BE THE MUSCLE.
HI.
HELLO.
BUY ME A DRINK?
YOU GOT IT.
SO...
AAH!
[ GRUNTS ]
AAH!
Nate: PARKER? PARKER?
[ MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]
AAH!
[ CROWD GASPING, MURMURING ]
YEAH. I'LL BE FINE.
I WILL NOT BE FINE. I STABBED THAT GUY WITH A FORK!
PARKER, PARKER, RELAX. IT'S FINE.
LISTEN, GO TO NATE'S STORAGE CUPBOARD,
AND YOU'RE GONNA FIND A SEXY LITTLE MINIDRESS
AND MY EMERGENCY JIMMY CHOOS.
JIMMY WHO?
YOU HAVE A BODY IN NATE'S CLOSET?
SHOES, PARKER!
DIDN'T I TEACH YOU ANY-- ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
Okay, this is the important bit.
DO YOU STILL HAVE THE ROSALIND DIAMOND YOU STOLE IN PERTH?
YES.
WEAR IT.
THE DIAMOND WILL SPEAK FOR YOU. YOU WON'T HAVE TO SAY A WORD.
This is the key to the grift. You just trust the character.
SAY NOTHING. TRUST THE DIAMOND.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ] I CAN DO THAT.
DON'T TELL NATE I CALLED.
I WON'T.
[ BEEPS ]
[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]
WHERE'S THE MARK?
KERRITY'S AT THE BAR -- GOLD ROLEX, PURPLE TIE.
SAY NOTHING. TRUST THE DIAMOND.
SAY NOTHING AND TRUST THE DIAMOND.
Parker, what are you saying?
NOTHING. AND TRUSTING THE DIAMOND.
I'LL HAVE AN APPLETINI.
-THEY MAKE THEM STRONG HERE. -OH, DO THEY?
IS THAT AN AUSTRALIAN PINK DIAMOND?
IS THAT THE ROSALIND? [ INHALES DEEPLY ]
THAT'S AN IMPRESSIVE, UH, REPLICA.
IT'S THE ORIGINAL.
I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT.
I HAVE PEOPLE WHO CERTIFY THESE THINGS FOR ME.
NATE: "Do you want to take a closer..."
YOU WANT A CLOSER LOOK?
No stabbing, Parker.
Kerrity: THIS IS A VERY FAMOUS DIAMOND.
HOW DID YOU GET IT?
IT WAS A GIFT FROM MY BOYFRIEND.
AH.
HE WORKS IN DIAMONDS.
SO DO I, AND I WOULD LOVE TO TALK SHOP
WITH THE MAN WHO MANAGED TO GET HIS HANDS ON THE, UH...
THE ROSALIND DIAMOND.
[ British accent ] NO. N--
COME HERE. WHAT HAVE I SAID?
WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT NEW PEOPLE? HUH?
WHAT HAVE I SAID?
HEY, IT'S OKAY. THIS GUY WORKS IN DIAMONDS.
HE WANTS TO TALK BUSINESS OR SOMETHING.
ALL RIGHT.
LAY THE ARMS DOWN, BROTHER.
HE'S COOL.
YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE MY BODYGUARD.
HE'S TOUCHY.
IT'S 'CAUSE HE'S A MUTE, ALL RIGHT?
YEAH, WELL, MY BODYGUARDS DON'T TALK MUCH, EITHER.
WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE FOUND OUR ARMORED-CAR ROBBERS.
[ GRUNTING ]
[ GUN COCKS ]
GONNA SHOOT THROUGH YOUR OWN MATE, THEN?
TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, I NEVER LIKED HIM.
LEGIT. GOON SQUAD AND ALL, INNIT?
STAND DOWN.
JIM KERRITY.
YOU'RE JIM KERRITY -- KERRITY DIAMONDS?
[ Chuckling ] OH, NO.
BROTHER, YOU GOT HIT HARD LAST WEEK.
THE HEIST, YES. THAT WAS ME.
SO, DID YOU USE THE ROMANOVS BACK THERE OR JUST HIRE OUT?
I'M IN THE BUSINESS, JIMMY BOY. I CAN SMELL AN INSIDE JOB.
SO, WHAT DO YOU DO IN THE BUSINESS, MISTER...
I'M A THIEF.
THEY CALL ME THE ICE MAN.
NATE: "Ice Man"?
NO, HARDISON, YOU HAVE TO, UH, HAVE A LIGHT TOUCH.
UNDERSELL.
WHAT KIND OF A THIEF CALLS HIMSELF A THIEF?
AN UNCATCHABLE ONE WITH A BRILLIANT REPUTATION.
YOU'VE SEEN MY WORK IN PERTH.
THE POLAR STAR? NICKED IT.
THE GEM OF GIBRALTAR? NICKED IT.
THE DAMIANI RAID?
DISTRACTION WHILE I NICKED EVERYTHING
IN THE VAULT NEXT DOOR.
BIG STONES, TRUST ME.
YEAH, WELL, THEN, I SHOULDN'T BE SEEN TALKING TO YOU.
RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT, 'CAUSE TWO CRIMINALS
CAN'T TALK BUSINESS WHILE SHOOTING POOL.
BITCH OF IT IS, NICKING THEM'S BUTTER --
MOVING THEM'S THE PAIN.
YES, ESPECIALLY WITH THOSE INSCRIBED I.D. NUMBERS.
NO, NO, NO, NO. I GOT THIS LASER, SEE?
ONLY ONE IN THIS COUNTRY, MIND YOU.
THIS THING I HAD TO BRING OVER
PIECE BY SODDING PIECE FROM TURKMENISTAN.
IT CAN SCRUB AN I.D. CLEAN OFF ANY DIAMOND --
RE-VIRGINIZED.
AND WHAT KIND OF FEE DO YOU CHARGE
FOR SUCH A SPECIALIZED SERVICE?
30%.
-5%. -30%.
NO WAY IN HELL.
SEE, THAT'S THE DISCOUNTED RATE, BROTHER,
'CAUSE ANYTHING LOWER THAN THAT IS AN INSULTED RATE,
'CAUSE IT'S AN INSULT TO ME, SAVVY?
YOU, UH...YOU RING ME WHEN YOU WISEN UP, YEAH?
THANKS...
BUT NO, THANKS, BROTHER.
[ DOOR CLOSES ] Eliot: ICE MAN?
Hardison: [ Normal voice ] I PUT A LOT OF WORK
INTO THAT CHARACTER.
-SERIOUSLY? -NO, NO, NO, NO.
I BOUGHT NEW CLOTHES -- UGLY AS HELL, TOO.
THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS WHEN YOU GO ON THE GRIFT, HARDISON, OKAY?
-I-I PUT STORIES ON THE WEBSITE. -YOU GO WAY TOO BIG.
YEAH, SOPHIE TOLD ME TO SAY AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE.
LET THE CHARACTER DO THE WORK.
WHEN DID, UH, SOPHIE SAY THAT?
A LONG TIME AGO.
MAYBE LAST CHRISTMAS.
I DON'T EVEN THINK IT WAS SOPHIE.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
I'M GONNA GO PUT MORE PRESSURE ON KERRITY.
I WANT YOU GUYS TO BE ON THE CLEAR-OUT.
ICE MAN, PLAY IT COOL.
THAT'S JUST AN AWFUL, AWFUL NAME.
-GENIUS. -SEE?
Hardison: IT'S GENIUS.
Eliot: WHEN YOU GET IN TOO DEEP ON THIS,
I AIN'T BAILING YOUR ASS OUT.
I DON'T NEED YOU TO BAIL ME OUT.
[ British accent ] I'M THE ICE MAN.
NOT...GONNA...HELP.
WE DID A JOB, AND YOU HAVEN'T PAID.
I TOLD YOU -- YOU DO THE JOB,
THE INSURANCE PAYS OUT, AND THEN YOU GET YOUR 10%.
SELL THE DIAMONDS WHILE YOU WAIT FOR THE INSURANCE MONEY, HMM?
USE THE ENGLISHMAN TO LAUNDER THEM.
YEAH, I'LL DO THAT WHEN HIS 30% COMES OUT OF YOUR 10%.
YOU KNOW THAT IS A MATHEMATICAL IMPOSSIBILITY, HMM?
THERE'S A MR. STERLING HERE FROM THE INSURANCE COMPANY.
WHAT DID I TELL YOU? WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
HE'S PROBABLY HERE TO DROP OFF A CHECK, OKAY?
GET OUT OF HERE. I'LL CALL YOU.
COME ON. COME ON.
YES!
[ DOOR BUZZES ]
MR. STERLING, I'M, UH, I'M JIM KERRITY.
SO GLAD YOU COULD STOP BY.
I JUST WANTED TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
YOUR CLAIM HAS RAISED A LOT OF RED FLAGS,
AND I'M IN THE RED-FLAG DEPARTMENT.
MY COMPANY HAS ASKED ME TO REVIEW YOUR ENTIRE POLICY,
JUST TO MAKE SURE NO MISTAKES WERE MADE.
I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT NOBODY TAKES SECURITY MORE SERIOUSLY
THAN I DO.
IN FACT, THAT'S THE REASON I HIRED WHAT I WAS TOLD
WAS THE BEST ARMORED-CAR SERVICE IN TOWN.
MY VAULT HAS A SEISMIC SENSOR.
NO OTHER COMPANY IN BOSTON HAS THAT.
YEAH, WELL, I'M SURE ALL THAT WILL BE TAKEN
INTO CONSIDERATION, MR. KERRITY, YES, MM-HMM.
GOOD. SO, UH, HOW LONG DO YOU THINK THIS IS GONNA TAKE?
'CAUSE I'VE GOT A BUSINESS TO RUN HERE.
ASSUMING NO PROBLEMS ARISE,
YOU SHOULD EXPECT TO SEE A CHECK IN, UH...
OH, SEVEN TO NINE...
DAYS?
[ CHUCKLES ] MONTHS.
MM. YEAH.
WOW.
WELL...I'LL BE IN TOUCH.
MM-HMM. MM-HMM.
[ DOOR BUZZES ]
I KNOW.
HE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.
HOW, HUH? I'M BACKUP. THEY CAN'T RELY ON ME.
ALL RIGHT.
HEY...
THANKS.
DON'T TELL NATE I CALLED.
WHO WAS THAT?
CABLE COMPANY.
[ BEEPING ]
WHOA! WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING HERE?
WE WORK HERE. WHO ARE YOU?
WE'RE WITH OSHA.
WE ISSUED A CLASS-1 EVACUATION NOTICE FOR THIS FACILITY,
EFFECTIVE 24 HOURS AGO.
THIS PLACE IS ON LOCKDOWN FOR CHEMICAL EXPOSURE.
DID NOBODY READ THE MEMO?
DID NOBODY READ THE MEMO?!
YOU! COUGH!
[ COUGHS ] W-WHAT CHEMICALS?
GIVEN THE SETUP FOR THIS PLACE, IT COULD BE A MATRIX
OF SOLID-PHASE SULFATES, NITRATES --
THAT'S INSIDE ME?
HONEY, YOUR LUNGS ARE A PARKING LOT, SWEETHEART.
AND IN THAT PARKING LOT, THE DIAGONAL LINES
ARE PAINTED WITH POISON.
PEOPLE, MOVE TOWARDS THE DOOR. ALL RIGHT?
Parker: DO NOT INHALE
UNLESS YOU ARE AT LEAST 50 FEET FROM THE ENTRANCE!
THIS SHOULD ALL BE TAKEN CARE OF BY TOMORROW, SO NOTHING...
[ CLATTERS ]
[ ZIPPER OPENS ]
[ BEEPS ]
Nate: OKAY. I'VE GOT A VISUAL.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
WHERE IS MR. ICE?
HE'S LATE.
HE'S ALWAYS LATE.
[ ENGINE REVVING ]
OH.
HMM. SUBTLE.
THE ICE MAN COMETH.
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MY LASER, GLINDA.
YOU SEE, I'VE FOUND THAT LASER FLUENCES
BELOW THE DIAMOND GRAPHITIZATION THRESHOLD ARE MOST EFFECTIVE.
WOULDN'T YOU SAY?
YEAH.
Hardison: DID YOU BRING THE DIAMOND?
TWO CARATS, VERY FEW FLAWS -- MY SALESMAN SAID.
SHE'S A BEAUT.
SHEILA, GET US A POP.
BECAUSE THIS WOULD BE CLASSIFIED I.F.,
AN INTERNALLY FLAWLESS, TWO-CARAT ROUND CUT DIAMOND,
it should be easier to oblate.
NATE: You got that, Parker?
HOW IS THIS GONNA FOOL HIM?
He's not looking at the diamond. He's looking at the I.D. number.
Hardison: I.D. NUMBERS ARE ETCHED AT A DEPTH
BETWEEN 5 AND 7 MICRONS.
USING NANOBLATION,
THE U.V. LASER PULSES IRRADIATE THE ETCHING.
THANK YOU, SWEETS.
SHOULD BE ABOUT DONE.
[ BEEPS ]
IT'S LIKE IT WAS NEVER THERE.
I COULD DO THE REST IN A DAY,
BUT I'M ONLY HERE FOR ANOTHER WEEK.
I'VE GOT A THING IN ANTWERP.
ALL RIGHT. WELL, LET'S, UH, LET'S DO IT TOMORROW?
-DONE. -EXCELLENT.
MR. ICE.
Nate: ALL RIGHT. NICE WORK, GUYS.
TOMORROW, WHEN HE SHOWS UP WITH THE DIAMONDS,
THE STATE POLICE WILL BE THERE.
WHY? SO THEY CAN ARREST HARDISON'S EGO?
[ Normal voice ] BE COOL, BABY -- ICE COOL.
HEY, WHO WANTS TO GO FOR A SPIN?
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU RENTED A FERRARI.
RENTED?
I'LL GET A RIDE HOME WITH ELIOT.
Y'ALL ARE JUST JEALOUS.
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
[ WHISTLES ]
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
OH, THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS, BABY.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
LOOK AT YOU -- LOOKING BETTER THAN GREEN...
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE THE ANSWER TO ALL MY PROBLEMS.
[ British accent ] WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE CELEBRATING?
WE ARE...STEALING KERRITY'S DIAMONDS...
...AGAIN!
YOU GUYS ARE GONNA SCRUMP HIS JEWELS?
NO, NOT YOU GUYS -- US GUYS.
WE KNOW WHERE THE DIAMONDS ARE KEPT IN THE VAULT.
WE NEED SOMEONE TO BUST THE DIAMONDS OUT OF THE VAULT.
THAT'S TRèS BOLD, BROTHERS. IT'S TRèS BOLD.
WE'RE GOING TONIGHT.
YOU CLEAN THE STONES WITH YOUR LASER.
WE SELL THEM AND MAKE A TON OF MONEY.
DIAMOND JIM IS DROPPING THE STONES BY MY LAB TOMORROW.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST PICK IT UP IN TRANSIT?
IS THAT WHAT THE ICE MAN WOULD DO, HUH?
IT'S NOT REALLY MY STYLE, BUT --
TOO MANY VARIABLES.
WE HAVE A WAY IN AND OUT OF A VAULT.
WE TAKE DIAMONDS IN A CONTROLLED SITUATION.
WE'LL BE A LONG WAY GONE
BEFORE KERRITY NOTICES HE'S BEEN ROBBED.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WHAT?
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
HMM?
NO.
TO OUR SUCCESS.
NOSTROVYA.
YEAH, UM, CHEERS, MATE.
UH, I NEED -- I NEED TO MAKE A QUICK CALL,
BUG THE OLD LADY, LET HER KNOW I'M NOT MAKING IT IN TONIGHT.
YOU KNOW BIRDS.
OF COURSE.
OH.
[ Dialing ]
YEAH. YEAH.
SHEILA, NOT MAKING IT IN TONIGHT.
YEAH, WORK THING. BUGGER ALL.
HARDISON?
ARE YOU CALLING ME IN CHARACTER?
I TOLD YOU, BUTTERNUT, IT'S WORK.
I CAN'T GET OUT OF IT.
WHAT ACCENT IS THAT?
OOH.
OOH, YOU -- YOU'VE BEEN NABBED.
AFRAID SO.
Is it the mark?
NO. NO, MUFFIN, NO.
OH, IT'S THE GOONS.
YOU OVERSOLD THE PART.
You fell into the trap of the overzealous henchmen.
LOOK, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.
JUST -- WELL, AS LONG AS THEY'RE NOT RUSSIANS.
IT'S GONNA BE A BIT OF A PROBLEM.
It's the Russians?
I'M GONNA HAVE TO PHONE NATE.
LEAVE IT OFF, CRUMPET.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. LISTEN, HARDISON.
You -- You cannot talk your way out of Russians.
I MEAN, YOU -- YOU CAN STALL THEM, MAYBE, FOR A BIT.
BUT WHATEVER YOU DO,
DO NOT TELL THEM YOU CAN DO ANYTHING ELSE.
SMOOCHES.
LOVE HER.
SO, DO THESE OTHER BLOKES TALK, OR JUST YOU?
NO.
LET ME SHOW YOU THE PLAN.
NATE: Hey, Hardison, I just got an interesting phone call.
SOPHIE TELLS ME YOU'VE BEEN RECRUITED BY THE RUSSIANS.
I HAD COURTSIDE SEATS, MAN.
TELL HARDISON IF HE MAKES IT OUT ALIVE,
I'M GONNA SNAP HIM IN HALF.
UH, ELIOT SAYS "HI." [ CLEARS THROAT ]
SO, WHAT'S THE PLAN THERE, ICE MAN?
OI.
JUST SO I'M CLEAR, YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU
BREAK INTO KERRITY'S VAULT AND STEAL HIS DIAMONDS.
OH, BEAUTIFUL.
WE'LL BLOW THE FLOOR OF THE VAULT AND CLIMB THROUGH.
SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS, WE'RE GONNA EXPLODE
THROUGH THE CEILING OF THE TUNNEL USING DET CORD
AND CLIMB INTO THE VAULT THROUGH THE FLOOR.
YES.
THIS IS WHAT I JUST SAY.
DET CORD -- THAT'S HOW THEY BLEW THE ARMORED TRUCK.
EXPLODING THROUGH THE FLOOR WILL SET THE SEISMIC SENSOR OFF.
THE TUNNEL'S A TERRIBLE WAY IN.
HARDISON, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TELL THEM THEIR PLAN WON'T WORK.
THE TUNNEL IS A HORRIBLE WAY IN.
I HEARD YOU, PARKER.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, I'M -- I'M -- I'M -- I'M SOR--
I'M SORRY, COMRADES, BUT YOUR PLAN IS RONK.
SEE, THE EXPLOSION WILL TRIP THE SEISMIC SENSOR.
WE'LL HAVE THE FEDS ON OUR ARSES IN NO TIME.
WELL, THEN, THE WORLD'S GREATEST THIEF
HAVE TO TAKE US ANOTHER WAY, HMM?
YEAH.
I'LL GET YOU INTO KERRITY'S VAULT.
NO NEED TO BE PISSY, MATE.
NATE: Oh, yes. Of course you will.
NOW, LISTEN, HARDISON, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIGURE OUT A WAY
TO BUY SOME TIME SO WE CAN GET YOU OUT OF THIS.
YEAH, GET BUSY.
GUYS, GUYS, I CAN'T MAKE ANY SENSE OF HARDISON'S FILES.
YOU CAN'T TRACK HIM.
HE'S USUALLY THE ONE THAT DOES THE TRACKING.
YEAH, WELL, MAYBE HE LEFT IT ON, HUH?
WHAT IF WE JUST TELL HIM TO MAKE A RUN FOR IT?
WELL, THEY'LL KILL HIM.
IF HE GOES ALONG WITH THEIR PLAN NOW, THEY'LL GET ARRESTED.
LOOK, WE GOT TO FIND ANOTHER WAY FOR HARDISON TO BREAK IN.
WE NEED A CLOSER LOOK AT THE VAULT.
YEAH. I'M WORKING ON IT. I-I...
HERE -- HAIR SPRAY. YOU'RE GONNA NEED THIS.
LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION, MAN.
IF HARDISON HELPS THESE RUSSIANS STEAL THE EVIDENCE,
HOW ARE WE GONNA PROVE THAT KERRITY SET UP THE ROBBERY?
I'M WORKING ON IT. I-I...
DO NOT CALL SOPHIE.
[ DOOR BUZZES ]
MR. STERLING.
GOOD NEWS, I HOPE.
WELL, IT'S TOO EARLY TO TELL.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
THE CLAIM IS ON YOUR JEWELER'S BLOCK COVERAGE POLICY.
IN ORDER TO VERIFY THE ELIGIBILITY OF YOUR COVERAGE,
I'M GONNA NEED TO SEE YOUR VAULT.
I'M SURE YOU UNDERSTAND, IF THERE'S ANY DISCREPANCY
BETWEEN WHAT YOU SAY YOUR SECURITY IS
AND WHAT YOUR SECURITY ACTUALLY IS,
WELL, THAT WOULD INVALIDATE THE CLAIM.
[ CHUCKLES ]
I CAN ASSURE YOU MY VAULT IS AS GOOD AS I CLAIM.
MM-HMM.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
I'LL SHOW IT TO YOU MYSELF. COME ON.
13-TON STEEL DOOR --
CAN WITHSTAND 12 HOURS OF DRILLING.
NOW, THE DOOR CAN WITHSTAND UP TO 12 HOURS' DRILLING.
YOU CAN'T USE FORCE.
THE LOCK HAS A MILLION POSSIBLE COMBINATIONS,
AND I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THE COMBO.
THE MAGNETIC SENSORS ARE DEACTIVATED
BY PUNCHING A COLOR CODE INTO THE RGB KEYPAD.
IF HE HAS AN RGB KEYPAD, WE'RE BUGGERED.
THEY'RE UNHACKABLE.
PARKER: RGB keypad? Let me see.
Move the camera left. No, vault left.
ALL RIGHT. THEN YOU HAVE TO DO THIS MY WAY.
REMOVE THE SENSOR WHILE KEEPING THE MAGNETIC FIELD INTACT.
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED A 4-INCH...
...A 4-INCH-BY-4-INCH ALUMINIUM PLATE,
DOUBLE-SIDED TAPE, AND A PHILLIPS-HEAD SCREWDRIVER.
COME ON.
GOT IT.
PRESSURE-SENSITIVE TILES,
DISABLED WITH THE KEYPAD RIGHT HERE.
[ BEEPING ]
TWO CAMERAS. WHO MONITORS THE FEEDS?
THE GUARD UPSTAIRS -- 24 HOURS A DAY.
I ALSO HAVE A MONITOR IN MY OFFICE.
HMM. HEAT SENSORS? MOTION SENSORS?
YES, BUT TO MINIMIZE FALSE ALARMS,
THE ALARM ONLY GOES OFF IF BOTH HEAT AND MOTION ARE DETECTED.
THE KEYPAD OVER THERE DISABLES IT.
PLEASE?
ELIOT: Hardison's not gonna be able to do anything
if the heat sensors are on.
NATE, USE THE HAIR SPRAY.
IT CREATES A FILM THAT BLOCKS THE HEAT.
HEAT SENSOR OVER HERE, AND THIS IS THE SEISMIC SENSOR.
ANY SOUND LOUDER THAN MY VOICE, AND IT TRIGGERS.
THE ALARM WILL SOUND.
YOU KNOW, I NOTICED YOUR BOX-NUMBERING SYSTEM IS OFF.
IT GOES FROM 82 TO 84.
IT'S -- YES, IT'S VERY, UH, STRANGE.
[ CLEARS THROAT ] IT'S, UM...
AH. IT'S RIGHT HERE.
-OH, THERE IT IS. -83.
SORRY. [ CHUCKLES ] MY MISTAKE.
OF COURSE. WHAT'S THAT?
-SECURITY FOG. -AH.
IF THE ALARM TRIGGERS, THAT DOOR LOCKS DOWN,
AND THE VAULT FILLS
WITH A GLYCOL-BASED, NONTRANSPARENT FOG.
VISIBILITY IS ZERO.
YOU CAN'T STEAL WHAT YOU CAN'T SEE.
AND THE FOG IS TRIGGERED BY THE FLOOR?
TRIPLE-WIRED.
IT'LL GO OFF AT THE TOUCH OF THE TILES,
the motion sensor, and the seismic sensor.
LOCKDOWN, FULL FOG, COPS ON THE WAY.
HMM.
YOU ARE VERY PROUD OF YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM,
AREN'T YOU, MR. KERRITY?
I SPARE NO EXPENSE, MR. STERLING.
[ CHUCKLES ]
HOW BAD IS IT?
[ SIGHS ]
THERE'S NO WAY HARDISON'S GONNA BE ABLE
TO BREAK INTO THAT VAULT.
[ Normal voice ] WHAT IS HARDISON GONNA DO?
NO, HARDISON IS GONNA PRETEND TO BREAK INTO THE VAULT.
YEAH, WELL, HOPEFULLY, THE RUSSIANS WILL ONLY PRETEND
-to kill him. -NO ONE'S GETTING KILLED.
WE'RE GONNA BREAK IN FOR HIM.
Nate: ALL RIGHT. WE'RE GONNA DO THIS QUICK AND DIRTY.
YOU GUYS BREAK INTO THE VAULT BEFORE HARDISON DOES
SO THE RUSSIANS THINK HE'S DOING IT.
WHY NOT? HE'S BEEN TAKING CREDIT FOR MY WORK ALL DAY ANYWAY.
AND THEN HARDISON WILL LEAD THE RUSSIANS INTO THE VAULT
A FEW PACES BEHIND YOU.
HEY, I GOT SOMETHING.
HARDISON MUST'VE HACKED INTO THE SECURITY FEED BEFORE HE LEFT.
Nate: WELL, WELL.
I'M JUST GONNA HAVE KEEP KERRITY OUT OF HIS OWN VAULT.
SO...BRILLIANT PLAN TO GET US INSIDE?
OH, BELIEVE IT.
SO, UH...WHAT DEPOSIT BOX ARE THE STOLEN DIAMONDS IN?
YOU GET US IN...
WE'LL TELL YOU.
WOW. THAT LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.
$300,000 ON YOUR NECK.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
OH, AMY, I'M GONNA MEET YOU AT THE BAR, SWEETIE, OKAY?
YOU'LL EARN THAT LATER. LET'S GO.
EXCELLENT. THIS HAD BETTER BE IMPORTANT.
YEAH. CAN WE TALK SOMEWHERE PRIVATE?
[ SIGHS ]
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
Man: WHEN DID HE GET HERE?
[ DOOR BUZZES ]
[ WHISTLES ] YO, YO.
LATE NIGHT, MAN.
IS THERE A REGISTER I'M SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT?
SORRY, BUDDY.
Okay, Parker, you're clear. Come on down.
THE, UH, INSPECTION OF YOUR VAULT
DID REVEAL A FEW ISSUES.
THE MAGNETIC SENSOR IS AN S-2000.
THAT'S RIGHT. IT'S THE LATEST ONE.
SORRY, BUT, UH, YOUR POLICY INDICATES
THAT IT IS AN S-950 MODEL.
AND THAT, MY FRIEND, IS A DISCREPANCY.
IT'S A BETTER VERSION.
YEAH, WELL, NO, I MEAN, MR. KERRITY, YOU KNOW,
GIVEN THIS NEW, UH, THIS NEW INFORMATION,
I'M SURE THAT MY COMPANY
WILL MOST CERTAINLY DENY YOUR, UH, YOUR CLAIM.
LOOK, I COULD BE DRINKING CHAMPAGNE
WITH A TALL BRUNETTE SITTING IN MY LAP RIGHT NOW.
WHY'D YOU HAVE TO COME HERE AND TELL ME THIS TONIGHT?
WELL, I CAME DOWN HERE TONIGHT TO PRESENT TO YOU
A-A DIFFERENT OPTION --
YOU KNOW, ONE THAT, UH, YOU KNOW,
I HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT IN PERSON.
THIS WILL HOLD THEM TOGETHER.
ELECTRIC'S FASTER.
THE VIBRATIONS WILL SET OFF THE SEISMIC SENSOR.
[ BEEPING ]
ELIOT, APPROACHING THE BUILDING.
Approaching the building.
[ British accent ] WAIT HERE, RIGHT?
I'VE GOT TO HANDLE THE INITIAL BREAK-IN MYSELF.
TOO MANY COOKS AND ALL.
OI. DELIVERY.
[ DOOR BUZZES ]
[ GRUNTING ]
NEXT TIME, I'M PLAYING THE THIEF.
I'D LIKE TO HEAR YOU DO AN ACCENT.
[ Normal voice ] I WENT TO SECOND CITY IN CHICAGO.
[ GRUNTS ]
ELIOT: When did you find time between that
-and karate at the Y? -HARDISON: You know what?
Shut up. Just -- Just shut up. Just --
Parker: SHUT UP, GUYS.
[ BEEPING ]
[ DOOR UNLOCKS ]
A PRIVATE ARRANGEMENT COULD BE MADE, YOU KNOW,
TO, UH, PERHAPS EASE SOME OF THE -- THE PAPERWORK.
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT A BRIBE?
NO, NO, NO, LISTEN,
I PREFER TO LOOK AT IT AS A PROCESSING FEE.
YEAH, AN AGREEMENT BETWEEN TWO GENTLEMEN
WHO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER.
LAY DOWN. STOP MOVING. STOP MOVING.
[ GRUNTS ]
HOW ABOUT THAT?
IDIOT.
[ DOOR CREAKING ]
STUCK IT.
[ British accent ] THIS LITTLE BABY
WILL DEACTIVATE THE MAGNETIC SENSORS.
SMELLS LIKE...PATCHOULI.
DOES IT?
ELIOT: Parker wrote the combination
in invisible ink on the door next to you.
She's in there, but she hasn't deactivated the floor yet.
Take your time with the tumblers.
YOU ARE REALLY EVERYTHING YOU CLAIMED.
SORRY?
I SAID, "YOU'RE REALLY EVERYTHING YOU CLAIMED."
IF I'M LYING, I'M DYING.
YES, YOU ARE. YES, YOU ARE.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ] I'M SORRY.
JUST TO SAY IN ENGLISH -- VERY TRICKY.
Eliot: HARDISON, SLOW DOWN.
YOU'RE BREEZING THROUGH THAT COMBO LOCK WAY TOO FAST.
PARKER, WHAT'S YOUR E.T.A.?
NOT READY YET.
FLOOR'S STILL HOT.
Nate, our timing's not gonna work out.
Nate: LOOK, KERRITY, YOU KNOW,
YOU COULD HAVE THE INSURANCE COMPANY PROCESS YOUR CLAIM
AND, YOU KNOW, GO THROUGH IT BY THE BOOK AND EVERYTHING,
AND I GUARANTEE YOU YOU'LL SEE YOUR MONEY --
JUST AS SOON AS HELL FREEZES OVER.
[ CHUCKLES ]
OR...
OR YOU ACCEPT MY ALTERNATIVE TERMS,
AND, YOU KNOW, WE, UH, WE BOTH WIN.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, HUH?
THEY LET YOU OUT OF YOUR LITTLE INSURANCE CUBICLE
ONCE A YEAR TO HUSTLE HONEST CUSTOMERS?
LOOK, KERRITY, YOU KNOW, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW --
YOU COME IN HERE WAY AFTER HOURS,
THINKING YOU CAN EXTORT ME FOR A BRIBE?!
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
ELIOT: Parker, you better get a move on.
Nate and Hardison are way ahead of you.
Parker: OKAY, THE FLOOR IS CLEAR.
Nate, Parker's still in the vault.
GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!
NO, I'M -- I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
ARE YOU GONNA FINISH THIS UP, MR. ICE?
RIGHT, RIGHT. YEAH, SURE. JUST...
[ CLICKS ] THERE IT GOES.
GOT IT. I FOUND IT.
I NEED 60 SECONDS.
ELIOT: Well, can you turn invisible in 60 seconds?
'Cause they're busting in there.
[ DOOR UNLOCKS ]
PARKER, YOU'RE OUT OF TIME.
I'm not ready.
[ SPEAKING RUSSIAN ]
BOX 72.
I'M ON IT.
ELIOT: She didn't crack those.
WHAT?
SHE DIDN'T HAVE TIME. YOU MOVED TOO FAST.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO IMPROVISE.
"WHAT?" WHAT?
DO YOU MIND?
PERSONAL SPACE.
WHAT PART OF "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE" DON'T YOU GET?
MR. KERRITY, I'M IN INSURANCE.
NOW, IF YOU THINK THAT I'VE NEVER BEEN THREATENED
BY A FIREARM BEFORE,
-YOU'RE QUITE MISTAKEN. -OH, YEAH?
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU CONSIDER THIS GUN
YOUR LITTLE SECURITY ESCORT?
WHAT THE HELL?
IS THIS A SETUP?
GUYS, UH, KERRITY'S ON HIS WAY DOWN.
[ FINGERS SNAPPING ]
OH, WHAT? WHAT? SHH! SHH! SHH! SHH!
SHH! DID YOU HEAR THAT?
DIAMOND JIM'S COMING DOWN HERE.
YOU -- YOU GO AND STOP HIM WHILE I NICK THE DIAMONDS.
HEY, WHAT THE -- WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WE'RE TAKING MATTERS INTO OUR OWN HANDS.
INSTEAD OF 10%, 100%, MINUS, UH, HIS CUT.
WHERE IS HE?!
[ CLICKING ]
[ DOOR THUDS ]
[ ALARM BLARING ]
WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?!
WHAT IS THIS?
THE SECURITY SYSTEM. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
SHH! DID YOU HEAR THAT?
DIAMOND JIM'S COMING DOWN HERE.
YOU -- YOU GO AND STOP HIM WHILE I NICK THE DIAMONDS.
[ Normal voice ] THANK YOU. AND I MEAN THANK YOU.
BUT HOW ARE WE GETTING OUT OF HERE?
[ BEEPING ]
-WHAT IS THAT? -SHH.
PULL YOUR ARMS IN.
[ EXPLOSION, RUMBLING ]
DET CORD.
[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]
AGAINST THE WALL!
WHAT IS THAT -- A GUN? DROP IT.
MR. KERRITY, IT'S A HELL OF A MONTH YOU'RE HAVING, HUH?
I MEAN, FIRST A $9 MILLION ARMORED-CAR HEIST,
AND NOW THIS?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WELL, YOUR ALARM WAS ACTIVATED.
SEE, AND THAT NOTIFIES THE LOCAL POLICE, WHICH NOTIFIES ME.
RIGHT, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT ANYTHING, LIEUTENANT.
IT WAS A -- IT WAS A FALSE ALARM.
YEAH, WE'VE TAKEN CARE OF IT.
YOU GUYS -- YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE TO STICK AROUND ANYMORE.
YOU CAN GO.
UH, WE TRIED TO STOP A ROBBERY.
BOX 72.
IT'S EMPTY.
[ WHISTLES ]
NOW, YOU SAID IN YOUR REPORT
THAT YOUR LAST SHIPMENT OF LOOSE DIAMONDS
WAS STOLEN EN ROUTE.
AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
THAT'S THE SAME LOGO AS THE ARMORED-CAR COMPANY.
BUT I'M SURE WHEN WE CHECK THESE DIAMONDS OUT,
I MEAN, THEY'RE NOT GONNA HAVE
THE SAME I.D. NUMBERS AS THE MISSING ICE.
I'M SURE OF THAT.
ARE YOU SURE OF THAT, MR. KERRITY?
[ SIGHS ]
THOUGHT WE COULDN'T USE THIS TUNNEL.
THE TUNNEL'S A HORRIBLE WAY IN.
BUT IT'S A GREAT WAY OUT.
YOUR NAME'S BEEN TOTALLY CLEARED.
I'M BACK ON THE FORCE AS OF MONDAY.
SHOULDER'S PRETTY MUCH HEALED UP, TOO.
EXCELLENT.
KERRITY AND HIS GOONS --
THEY WENT DOWN FOR INSURANCE FRAUD AND THEFT.
BUSINESS HAS BASICALLY COLLAPSED.
AND, UH, WE, UH, WE MANAGED
TO, UH, RETRIEVE SOMETHING FROM, UH, THE WRECKAGE
FOR, UH, YOU KNOW, HELP WITH YOUR MEDICAL COSTS.
WHERE'D THIS COME FROM?
UH...
SHOULD BE ABOUT DONE.
IT'S LIKE IT WASN'T EVEN THERE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WHAT ARE YOU SMILING AT? YOU STILL SCREWED IT UP.
I'M SMILING 'CAUSE YOU SAID IF I GOT IN TROUBLE,
YOU WOULDN'T HELP ME.
PARKER MADE ME.
NO, I DIDN'T.
COME ON, MAN. LET'S HUG IT OUT.
I'M NOT HUGGING IT OUT, ICE MAN.
JUST HUG IT -- JUST A LITTLE MAN LOVE.
I'M NOT HUGGING IT OUT WITH YOU.
-NO, IT'S NOT -- -JUST SIT DOWN ON YOUR STOOL.
DON'T MAKE THIS AWKWARD. JUST DON'T MAKE THIS --
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN? -THIS IS UNCOMFORTABLE NOW.
-JUST DON'T -- -DUDE.
GET IN THE PITS, MAN. GET IN THE PITS.
I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FRICKIN' ARM.
[ SIGHS ]
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
[ BEEPS ]
NOT YOU TOO, HUH?
SORRY. WHAT -- WHAT DO YOU MEAN ME TOO?
WELL, YOU'VE BEEN CAPTURED BY RUSSIANS?
OH, YEAH. THAT.
THAT COULD HAVE GONE BETTER, NO QUESTION.
UH, IT WORKED OUT, THOUGH.
OH, IT WORKED OUT JUST FINE WITHOUT ME --
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
NO, NO, NO. I'M NOT -- I'M NOT --
I'm not saying that at all, no.
NO, I JUST WANT TO SAY, UH...
TO SAY WHAT?
I JUST WANTED TO SAY I'M SORRY...
for bugging you, um...
and for them calling -- for them calling.
I-I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN. I...
LISTEN, CALL WHENEVER YOU WANT.
You know...
BYE.
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
[ SIGHS ]
[ BEEPS ]