1 00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:09,577 [ CLOCK TICKING ] 2 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,549 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] 3 00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,651 [ KEYBOARD CLACKING ] 4 00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:19,253 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] 5 00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:20,821 [ CLACKING CONTINUES ] 6 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,423 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] 7 00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:25,626 [ ALARM BLARING ] 8 00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:29,063 [ CLOCK TICKING ] 9 00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:32,200 [ KEYPAD BEEPS ] 10 00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:41,275 All units, please respond to a possible intruder 11 00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:42,543 in the Research Department. 12 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:44,245 [ BLARING CONTINUES ] 13 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,723 THIS PRODUCT IS THE RESULT 14 00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:58,726 OF YEARS OF RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT. 15 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,394 EVERYONE AT THE COMPANY 16 00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:03,497 IS CONVINCED THE STOCK PRICE IS GOING TO SOAR. 17 00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:05,433 [ CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING ] 18 00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:10,404 A TOY? 19 00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:11,805 CHUBBY SNUBBY. 20 00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:14,175 I WAS THE EXEC OVERSEEING ITS SAFETY REPORT, 21 00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:17,478 WHICH CAME BACK WITH A LEVEL THREE CHOKING HAZARD RATING. 22 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:21,149 BUT I REFUSED TO COOK THE BOOKS, SO HAZLIT FIRED ME. 23 00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:22,416 HAZLIT? 24 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,418 TRENT HAZLIT, C.E.O. OF POGGIO TOYS. 25 00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:26,687 AND HE'S NOT WORRIED ABOUT LAWSUITS? 26 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,390 HAZLIT DOES COST-BENEFITS FOR EVERYTHING. 27 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,160 AND THE DEATHS OF A FEW KIDS IS AN ACCEPTABLE RISK 28 00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:33,361 IN THE NAME OF PROFIT. 29 00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:34,695 WELL, HE IS AWFULLY CUTE. 30 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,897 NOT SO CUTE WHEN A KID SWALLOWS ITS NOSE 31 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,533 AND IT SWELLS UP TO THE SIZE OF A POMEGRANATE. 32 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:41,235 HAZLIT BURIED THE CHUBBY SNUBBY REPORT 33 00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:42,670 SO HE COULD LAUNCH BEFORE CHRISTMAS. 34 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,838 ALL THE TOYS ARE AT RETAIL WAREHOUSES 35 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:47,808 WAITING FOR THE ANNOUNCEMENT AT THE PACIFIC TOY EXPO. 36 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:50,678 WE'RE LOOKING AT A TICKING BOMB. 37 00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:54,715 DON'T LET THIS THING HIT THE MARKET, MR. FORD -- PLEASE. 38 00:01:57,218 --> 00:01:58,686 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] 39 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:03,357 TRENT HAZLIT -- C.E.O. OF GLOBAL TOY GIANT POGGIO TOYS. 40 00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:06,394 NOW, THE DAYS OF THE COLORFUL FAMILY TOY EXEC ARE LONG GONE. 41 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,862 NOWADAYS, COMPANIES BRING IN THESE WALL STREET WOLVERINES 42 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,864 WHO COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT KIDS OR TOYS. 43 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:13,401 ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS BRANDING AND STOCK GROWTH. 44 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:14,768 WELL, WHERE'D HAZLIT COME FROM? 45 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,470 -ONE GUESS. -SANTA'S WORKSHOP. 46 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,172 -NO. [ CHUCKLES ] -DOUGHNUTS. 47 00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,840 NO. AND THAT'S TWO GUESSES. STOP PLAYING. 48 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,909 HE COMES FROM DEFENSE CONTRACTING. 49 00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:25,613 20 YEARS AGO, HE WAS SELLING RPGs AND ANTI-AIRCRAFT WEAPONRY 50 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,914 TO BOTH LATIN-AMERICAN DICTATORS 51 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,616 AND THE REBEL GROUPS THAT OPPOSED THEM. 52 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,484 -I HATE ARMS DEALERS. -YEAH. 53 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,720 NOW, NINE YEARS AGO, HE TAKES OVER POGGIO TOYS, 54 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:34,788 MOVES THE MANUFACTURING OVERSEAS, 55 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,490 HE LOWERED SAFETY STANDARDS, 56 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,559 AND HE BURIED CLASS-ACTION SUITS. 57 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,294 OKAY, UH, WHAT'S SECURITY LIKE? 58 00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:42,530 HE'S USING THE SAME M.O. AS HE DID WHEN HE SOLD WEAPONS. 59 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,332 HE'S USING DOUBLE-WALLED ROOMS. 60 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:46,500 HE'S LOCKING AWAY TOY DESIGNS AT THE END OF EVERY SHIFT. 61 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:47,635 HE'S CHANGING CODES DAILY. 62 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,370 UH, SAFETY REPORT? 63 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,272 IT'S DIGITAL. IT'S KEPT IN A SPECIAL SERVER, 64 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,673 WHICH IS LOCKED IN A SPECIAL SAFE, 65 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,408 WHICH IS HELD IN A SPECIAL SERVER ROOM. 66 00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,477 -PARKER? -A BOYLAN-KIM 53-11. 67 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,846 JUST HAVE TO DRILL IT -- NO PROBLEM. 68 00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:01,582 OKAY, SO, WE'LL STEAL THE SAFETY REPORT, 69 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:02,816 RELEASE IT TO THE PUBLIC, 70 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,585 THEN HAZLIT IS GONNA HAVE TO SPIKE 71 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,920 THE CHUBBY SNUBBY DOG LAUNCH. 72 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:10,424 LET'S DO IT. 73 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:17,831 [ SIGHS ] 74 00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:23,304 I-I'M SAYING THAT WE -- 75 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,239 UH, I THINK WE WENT OVERBOARD ON CHRISTMAS GIFTS LAST YEAR. 76 00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:26,840 [ SIGHS ] 77 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,742 NATE, I LOVE MY ECOSSE MOTORCYCLE 78 00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:32,780 FROM LAST CHRISTMAS -- COMPLIMENTS OF MY SANTA-BABY. 79 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:33,914 [ DRILL WHIRRING ] 80 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:37,951 YOU SPENT $100,000 ON A MOTORCYCLE? 81 00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:41,255 DON'T HATE THE GIFT. HATE THE ELF. 82 00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:42,923 I DO HATE THE ELF. 83 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:44,425 [ WHIRRING CONTINUES, STOPS ] 84 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:45,826 SO, ARE YOU SAYING 85 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,595 [EXHALES SHARPLY] NO CHRISTMAS PRESENTS AT ALL? 86 00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:48,696 NOT EVEN SOMETHING SMALL? 87 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,298 NO GIFTS. 88 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,965 But [scoffs] 89 00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:54,935 HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO CHRISTMAS WITHOUT ANY PRESENTS? 90 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,837 Let's just put a limit on spending. 91 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,606 SAY...$1,000 A-- 92 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,408 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 93 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:03,411 -$100 A-- -[ CLEARS THROAT ] 94 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,979 -50 BUCKS A PERSON. -MM. 95 00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:10,284 FINE, WHATEVER. 96 00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:12,353 [ DIAL CLICKING ] 97 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:17,991 [ DOOR OPENS ] 98 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,795 I'M IN. 99 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:34,041 [ BEEPING ] 100 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:40,514 [ CELLPHONE BEEPING ] 101 00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:42,783 OKAY. DOWNLOADING NOW. 102 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,519 AND...I GOT IT. 103 00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:49,723 THREE MINUTES TO SEAL UP, AND HE'LL NEVER KNOW WE WERE HERE. 104 00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:58,031 YEAH, HE DOCTORED THE DATA. 105 00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:00,634 AND THE AMERICAN SAFETY ASSOCIATION OF PEDIATRICIANS 106 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:01,835 IS GIVING IT FIVE STARS! 107 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,504 YEAH, I THOUGHT THAT WAS WEIRD. 108 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,005 YEAH, THEY'RE A BUNCH OF RETIRED DOCTORS 109 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,007 BASED OUT OF GUAM WITH NO STANDING IN THE BUSINESS. 110 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,842 I'M SURE THEY'RE ON HAZLIT'S PAYROLL. 111 00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,611 SHOULDN'T SOMEBODY BE REGULATING THIS STUFF? 112 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,413 WANT TO KNOW WHO REGULATES TOY SAFETY IN THIS COUNTRY? 113 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:13,514 THE TOY COMPANIES. 114 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:16,917 WHAT ABOUT GOVERNMENT? 115 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,387 CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY COMMISSION. THEY TRY. 116 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,054 THEY'RE A SOLID GOVERNMENT AGENCY, 117 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:23,357 BUT SAFETY STUDIES ARE VOLUNTARY, 118 00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:25,693 SO CERTAIN COMPANIES JUST WON'T TAKE THAT RISK 119 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,661 BECAUSE IF A TOY IS FOUND HAZARDOUS, 120 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,029 THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT PUBLIC. 121 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,798 YEAH, UNLESS YOU BUY SOME DOCTORS IN GUAM. 122 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,866 I APPRECIATE YOU TRYING. 123 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,101 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 124 00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,069 MR. MARRIS, LISTEN -- THIS ISN'T OVER. 125 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,738 IT ISN'T. 126 00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:40,107 NOW, WE ARE NOT GONNA LET THAT TOY GET RELEASED. 127 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,576 I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE UP AGAINST. 128 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:45,546 TRENT HAZLIT IS A CORPORATE HITMAN -- 129 00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,548 HE'S CAPABLE OF ANYTHING. 130 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:54,688 YOU REALIZE THAT WITHOUT THAT SAFETY STUDY, WE GOT NOTHING. 131 00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:55,756 -YEAH. -MM-HMM. 132 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,391 SO, WHY'D YOU PROMISE HIM THAT? 133 00:05:57,425 --> 00:06:00,428 BECAUSE WE ARE NOT GONNA LET THAT TOY GET RELEASED. 134 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,863 WE'RE GONNA STEAL CHRISTMAS. 135 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,465 NO, THE TROJAN HORSE WON'T WORK. 136 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,400 WE'D HAVE TO SELL HAZLIT A TOY COMPANY 137 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,001 SO FILLED WITH FINANCIAL LIABILITY 138 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,771 THAT IT BANKRUPTS HIM BEFORE THE LAUNCH OF CHUBBY SNUBBY. 139 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,940 EXACTLY. WE JUST BAIT HIM WITH A NEW HIT TOY. 140 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,542 BUT THE LAUNCH IS IN THREE DAYS. 141 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,710 WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO CREATE A WHOLE NEW TOY. 142 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:19,179 AH, THAT'S WHY HARDISON IS FINDING US SOME FAILED TOYS 143 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,514 THAT ALREADY EXIST. 144 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,182 YEAH, THIS IS SECOND RUN OF FUN. 145 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,452 IT'S A THIRD-PARTY TOY DISTRIBUTOR 146 00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:26,987 THAT SELLS FAILED TOYS TO BOLIVIA AND THE SUDAN IN BULK. 147 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,623 THEY ALSO SELL THOSE SUPER BOWL "LOSER" T-SHIRTS. 148 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:32,960 NOW, CHECK THIS OUT -- THEY GOT TSA SECURITY SCREENER, 149 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:36,830 WHIRLIE-GLEE-GLEE, HOMELESS MOTHER AND DAUGHTER DOLL SET. 150 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,198 THESE ARE TOYS. 151 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,568 AND THIS IS MY FAVORITE -- SIR BOAT-A-LOT. 152 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,170 YOU PULL HIS ARM, AND HE GIVES YOU A SAILING TIP. 153 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,739 GO BACK, UH, TO THE TURNY THING. JUST -- 154 00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,107 -THE WHIRLIE-GLEE-GLEE? -YEAH. 155 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,543 THIS THING WAS SUPPOSED TO DO FIGURE EIGHTS. 156 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,844 IT BARELY DID A FIGURE ONE. 157 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,112 SOLD 1,100 UNITS. 158 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,848 I ACTUALLY THINK I HAD ONE AS A KID. 159 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:57,050 WELL, IT'S BLAND ENOUGH TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS 160 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,652 BUT QUIRKY ENOUGH TO SEEM NOVEL. 161 00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:00,554 SO, WE JUST HAVE TO GET THE KIDS TO GO CRAZY 162 00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,456 FOR A TOY THAT WAS ONCE CONSIDERED JUNK. 163 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:03,924 MM. WELL, A TOY CRAZE IS LIKE A CON -- 164 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,793 YOU JUST GOT TO CONVINCE SOMEONE THEY WANT SOMETHING 165 00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,060 THAT THEY DIDN'T KNOW THEY WANTED. 166 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,796 IN THIS CASE, IT'S PRESCHOOLERS. 167 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,531 SO, WHEN IS THIS THING SHIPPED TO AFRICA? 168 00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,533 IN 39 HOURS. 169 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,067 OKAY, WELL, WE GOT TO GET OUR HANDS ON THE, UH -- THE, UH -- 170 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,636 WHIRLIE-GLEE-GLEE? 171 00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:18,105 WHIRLIE-GLEE-GLEE BEFORE IT'S GONE-GONE. 172 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,039 RIGHT. 173 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,885 [ CLICK ] 174 00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:53,707 HMM. 175 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,282 WHO IN THE HELL WOULD GIVE THIS THING TO A CHILD? 176 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,784 IT'S NOT A THING. 177 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,553 IT IS A DOLL, AND KIDS LOVE DOLLS. 178 00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,821 IT AIN'T NO DOLL. THAT'S SOME OLD, VOODOO WITCHCRAFT, 179 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,657 AND I DON'T WANT IT UP IN LUCILLE. 180 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:10,691 YOU KNOW WHAT? WHAT IF I SAID THAT ABOUT THE FLASHY KICKS 181 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,225 YOU'VE BEEN GIVING ME LATELY? 182 00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,662 HEY, THEY ARE AWESOME. THEY MAKE YOU SHINY AND FAST. 183 00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:17,965 OKAY, THIS THING, NO KID SHOULD EVER BE SUBJECTED TO -- EVER. 184 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,267 [ SIGHS ] 185 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,869 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS, CELLPHONE BEEPS ] 186 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,271 -Nate, you see this? -OH. 187 00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,740 GUYS, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT TOY PARKER PICKS. 188 00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:28,175 ANYTHING CAN BE SOLD. 189 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,678 ELIOT'S RIGHT. IT'S JUST A MASS-MARKETING CON GAME, 190 00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,312 AND IT'S ABOUT CREATING WILDFIRE BUZZ 191 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,248 LIKE THE MODERN-ART WORLD OR THE MOVIE BUSINESS. 192 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,684 Any crappy product -- 193 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,151 WHA-- BABY JOY RAGE IS NOT CRAPPY. 194 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,087 -IT'S CRAPPY. -Any misunderstood product 195 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,323 CAN MAKE BILLIONS AS LONG AS IT HAS THE RIGHT BUZZ. 196 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,660 WE JUST GOT TO GET THAT THING ON HAZLIT'S RADAR. 197 00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:52,700 J.I.C. SAYS THE KIDS WILL CLOCK THE MUTT IN AT 88.6% SATISFIED. 198 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,902 -[ CHUCKLES ] -THE WHAT, SIR? 199 00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:57,905 THE J.I.C. -- JUBILATION INDEX CALCULATOR. 200 00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,006 NEW APP I DEVELOPED. 201 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,708 JUST TAKE A PIC OF THE ITEM. 202 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:03,143 BOOM -- THE THING REGISTERS THE TOY'S GROSS MARKET 203 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:04,912 AND FRANCHISE POTENTIAL 204 00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:07,881 VIS-à-VIS THE KID'S HAND SIZE, AGE, AND ETHNICITY. 205 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:11,218 88.6 IS 4 POINTS HIGHER THAN TRAMPY...WHAT'S-HER-FACE? 206 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,020 -DAMSEL JUDY. -[ SIGHS ] 207 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:16,724 STILL DON'T KNOW HOW DADS LET THEIR GIRLS NEAR THAT THING. 208 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,258 BUT, HEY, THE LITTLE TRAMP 209 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:21,094 EARNED US $24 MILLION LAST YEAR, RIGHT? 210 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:24,598 HAZLIT HAS A VISE-GRIP ON RETAIL GIANT JOYLANDIA'S 211 00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:25,966 PREMIUM SHELF SPACE. 212 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,768 COMPANIES FIGHT TO THE DEATH EACH YEAR 213 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,302 FOR THE BEST SHELF SPACE IN STORES. 214 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,905 AND THAT KIND OF CONTRACT GETS RE-UPPED HERE AT THIS EXPO. 215 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,941 ALL RIGHT, SOPHIE, YOU'RE THE NEW COMPETITION. 216 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,610 GET THAT CONTRACT. 217 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:41,148 END CAPS, ACTION ALLEYS, INTERACTIVE KIOSKS -- 218 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:44,618 I WANT IT ALL BECAUSE THIS TOY IS GONNA BE MASSIVE. 219 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,219 [ CHUCKLES ] 220 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:49,122 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MANY REPS TELL ME THAT, MISS...RONDER. 221 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:52,225 WELL, UNLIKE THEM, I'M NOT GUESSING. 222 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:56,096 I NEVER GUESS. I HAVE A 95% SELL-THROUGH RATE. 223 00:09:56,129 --> 00:10:00,768 LISTEN -- I'M TELLING YOU, THIS TOY IS A HIT. 224 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,136 I'M STAYING AT THE LAMY. 225 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:05,038 -OH! -OH, PARDON ME. 226 00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:06,807 EXCUSE ME. [ LAUGHS ] 227 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,409 HEY. TRENT. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU? 228 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,845 GOOD, GIL. WHO WAS THAT? 229 00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:13,380 OH, MIMI RONDER. 230 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:16,917 NEW TOY REP WITH A TON OF CHARM -- 231 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,687 AND A GREAT PAIR OF LEGS. 232 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,122 SHE'S BIDDING ON JOYLANDIA'S PREMIUM SHELF SPACE? 233 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,224 [ LAUGHS ] 234 00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:27,327 YOU DON'T HAVE A THING TO WORRY ABOUT, TRENT, OLD BOY. 235 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,897 YOU ALWAYS COME UP WITH THE HIGHEST BID. 236 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,302 YOU KNOW HAZLIT'S JUST GONNA OUTBID US 237 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,671 -FOR THAT SHELF-SPACE PACKAGE. -AH, THAT'S FINE. 238 00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:39,339 THAT BID WAS JUST TO GET ON HIS RADAR. 239 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,208 NOW COMES THE HARD PART -- 240 00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:45,178 GETTING THE KIDS OF AMERICA TO LOVE A TOY THEY NEVER WANTED. 241 00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:47,280 AH, WE JUST GOT TO FIND THE RIGHT PLACE 242 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,016 TO START A VIRAL TOY CRAZE. 243 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,151 NOW, I RAN ALGORITHMS ON ALL THE PORTLAND ZIP CODES 244 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,453 TO FIND THE MOST LIKELY NEXUS FOR A SOCIAL-BUZZ EPIDEMIC. 245 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,023 THESE HUB AGENTS ARE THE MOST INFLUENTIAL FAMILY AREAS. 246 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,091 FAMILIES WHO START FADS. GOOD. 247 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:01,461 RIGHT. NOW, THEY'RE ALL CONNECTED TO DIFFERENT GROUPS, 248 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,263 BUT THEY HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON. 249 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,297 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] 250 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,099 AH, A WEEKLY FARMER'S MARKET. 251 00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,301 SO, I FIGURE WE GO SET UP A BOOTH, 252 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,971 -START A GRASSROOTS-TYPE CRAZE. -PERFECT. 253 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,473 I GET A VENDOR'S LICENSE TO SELL THE TOY. 254 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,042 -WE CAN -- -EHH, I DON'T THINK SO. 255 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:18,946 SO...NO TO THE FARMER'S MARKET? 256 00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:21,281 YES TO THE FARMER'S MARKET. NO TO SELLING THE TOY THERE. 257 00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,416 -WE'RE NOT? -NO, WE'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING 258 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,753 MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE THAN SELLING. 259 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,955 THESE LOOK GREAT. 260 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,890 THAT'S FINE. 261 00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,393 LOOK, IT'S HAPPY. 262 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,729 AW, IT'S NOT SO HAPPY, BUT THEN IT'S HAPPY AGAIN. 263 00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:38,065 IT CHANGES MOODS. IT'S PRETTY COOL, RIGHT? 264 00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:40,300 NO? 265 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,169 HEY! HERE, TAKE IT -- IT'S FREE. 266 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,337 THANK YOU. 267 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,839 TELL YOUR FRIENDS! 268 00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,741 FREE TOYS! YEAH! 269 00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,843 [ CHILDREN CHEERING ] 270 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:51,244 HEY, HEY. 271 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,847 [ Chuckling ] THERE YOU ARE. ALL RIGHT. HUH? 272 00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:56,083 THERE YOU GO, BUDDY. GOOD? 273 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,351 NATE, IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. 274 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,922 THE DRUG-DEALER APPROACH -- YOU FOR REAL? 275 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,290 FIRST TASTE IS FREE. 276 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,125 WORD SPREADS, KEEPS THEM COMING BACK FOR MORE. 277 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,327 NOW, WE GOT TO GET THAT TOY IN THE HANDS OF A TASTEMAKER. 278 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,262 YOU KNOW, THE PEOPLE THAT TELL OTHER PEOPLE WHAT TO BUY. 279 00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:11,531 AND YOU KNOW WHO THE MOST INFLUENTIAL TASTEMAKERS ARE? 280 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,766 CELEBRITIES. 281 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:17,237 [ LAUGHS ] I GOT ONE. 282 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,039 [ KEYBOARD CLACKING ] 283 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,808 THIS IS PRE-TEEN SANDY MATTEO. 284 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:23,376 SHE'S FROM THAT SHOW "SANDY'S SCHOOL TIMES." 285 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,779 SHE'S GOT A MAJOR FAN BASE -- MAJOR. 286 00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:29,482 AN ENDORSEMENT FROM THIS GIRL'S GONNA GIVE US A TSUNAMI OF HYPE. 287 00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:31,351 WHAT? NO! THERE IS NO WAY. 288 00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:34,187 IT IS THREE POINTS ON THE GROSS, OR -- 289 00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,123 OKAY, OR I FIRE YOUR ASS -- 290 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:37,991 THE HAROLD SHUCKERSAN AGENCY SHRIVELS UP AND DIES! 291 00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:39,092 [ PURSE THUDS ] 292 00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:40,427 [ SIGHS ] [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ] 293 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,863 [ SIGHS ] WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CLOTHES?! 294 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:46,199 IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND ANYTHING IN THESE GIANT TOTES, ISN'T IT? 295 00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:49,402 YOU KNOW, I ALMOST LOST MY SHIH TZU IN MINE. 296 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,004 [ LAUGHS ] 297 00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:54,041 NO. NO, NO. THAT'S DISGUSTING. 298 00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,209 WHAT'S YOURS, HMM? A GUCCI? 299 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,478 IT'S AN ORIGINAL ERIN WALTER -- NOT ON THE MARKET YET. 300 00:12:58,511 --> 00:12:59,479 OHH. 301 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,281 YOU'RE SANDY MATTEO, RIGHT? 302 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:05,252 YOU'RE MARVELOUS, DARLING! 303 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,187 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ] 304 00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:17,030 SANDY MATTEO NOW LOVES AND ENDORSES BABY JOY RAGE. 305 00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,598 YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN? 306 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,034 I COULD ACTUALLY MAKE A SECOND CAREER AS A PAPARAZZO. 307 00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:22,836 ALL RIGHT, GREAT. LET'S GET THAT ENDORSEMENT OUT THERE. 308 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,304 GOT YOU. I AM CURRENTLY EMBEDDING MATTEO'S PHOTOS 309 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,039 ON 23 DIFFERENT SITES -- 310 00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:28,541 TEEN BLOG PAGES, GAME PORTALS, TOY BLOGS -- YOU NAME IT. 311 00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,577 I EVEN GOT CELEBRITIES TWEETING ABOUT IT. 312 00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,212 MAN, IF THERE IS A KID WHO DOES NOT KNOW 313 00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,613 WHAT THIS TOY IS BY NEXT WEEK, 314 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,614 THEY'RE PROBABLY BEING HOMESCHOOLED SOMEWHERE 315 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,615 UNDER A ROCK. 316 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,050 OKAY, NEXT STEP IS SCARCITY. 317 00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:38,952 ALL RIGHT, WE GOT TO MAKE IT FEEL LIKE 318 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,287 EVERY MOM AND DAD IN THE COUNTRY 319 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,055 CAN'T GET THEIR HANDS ON THIS TOY. 320 00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:43,156 GOT IT. 321 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,125 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ] 322 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,561 I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU MIGHT, BY ANY CHANCE, 323 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:53,500 HAVE ONE OF THOSE BABY JOY RAGE -- NO, "JOY RAGE." 324 00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,035 IT'S A DOLL. 325 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,236 OKAY. WELL, YEAH, I -- 326 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,938 [ TELEPHONE CLICKS, DIAL TONE ] 327 00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,639 ZACHARY. I NEED MORE CONVICTION. 328 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,308 WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING 329 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,176 FOR AN ACTOR TO REMEMBER IN CHARACTER? 330 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:05,478 -YOUR LINES. -NO -- DESIRE. 331 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,314 WHAT DO YOU WANT, ZACHARY? 332 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,581 WHAT DOES THE CHARACTER WANT? 333 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:09,983 THE TOY. 334 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,318 WHY DO YOU WANT IT, ZACHARY? 335 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,386 -TO MAKE MY CHILD HAPPY? -NO. 336 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,922 YOU WANT THAT TOY SO THAT YOUR CHILD 337 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,089 WILL SIT STILL FOR A COUPLE OF SECONDS 338 00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:17,891 AND GIVE YOU SOME PEACE AND QUIET 339 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:20,193 SO YOU CAN FINALLY OPEN THAT DELICIOUS BOTTLE OF MERLOT 340 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:23,063 THAT YOU'VE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT SINCE 10:00 A.M. THIS MORNING. 341 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,165 [ Sighing ] GOD. 342 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,935 YOU GET ME. 343 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,569 -WHEN I WIN MY FIRST OSCAR... -MM. 344 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,538 ...I'M GONNA NAME IT AFTER YOU, MS. DEVEREAUX. 345 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,573 I'M GONNA THANK EVERYONE, AND THEN I'M GONNA SAY, 346 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,242 -"THIS IS NOT AN OSCAR..." -MNH-MNH. 347 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,010 -"...IT'S A DEVEREAUX." -OKAY, ZACHARY. 348 00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,079 RIGHT. 349 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,480 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 350 00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:42,149 [ TELEPHONE BEEPS ] 351 00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:43,250 HELLO. YES. 352 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,618 I NEED THIS BABY JOY RAGE DOLL. 353 00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:47,320 "BABY JOY RAGE." 354 00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:50,257 YEAH, MY KID HAS BEEN GOING CRAZY FOR THIS THING. 355 00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:52,125 ALL OF HIS FRIENDS HAVE ONE, 356 00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:55,262 AND MY WIFE HAS MADE ME DRIVE TO THE STORE THREE TIMES 357 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:56,930 JUST TO SEE IF IT'S IN YET. 358 00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:59,299 PANTANI! 359 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:03,070 YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, SIR? 360 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,204 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? 361 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,375 SANDY MATTEO IS PLUGGING THIS DOLL? 362 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,143 I THOUGHT SHE HAD AN EXCLUSIVE WITH US -- 363 00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:11,979 -ON THE MINI-SKIRT DANCER HOOP. -WELL, I'LL LOOK INTO IT. 364 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,646 AND CUSTOMER RELATIONS IS SAYING WE'RE GETTING CALLS 365 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,248 ASKING IF WE OWN THE DOLL, 366 00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:16,383 WANTING TO KNOW WHEN IT'S GONNA BE RELEASED. 367 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,517 [ SIGHS ] 368 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,386 OH, WELL, LOOK AT THIS. 369 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,021 THAT TOY REP I SAW. 370 00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:24,124 OH, OH, SHE IS A NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY GIRL. 371 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,226 OKAY, I WANT A SIT-DOWN WITH GIL BARTON AT JOYLANDIA 372 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,527 A.S.A.-FREAKING-P. 373 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,163 AND I WANT THE MEDIA SATURATION NUMBERS 374 00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:33,333 ON THIS DEMON DOLL BEFORE THE END OF BUSINESS TODAY. 375 00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,268 COME ON! CHOP-CHOP! LET'S MOVE! 376 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:40,307 BABY JOY RAGE'S MEDIA SATURATION NUMBER'S HOVERING AROUND 62%. 377 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,708 IT'S NOT ENOUGH. 378 00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,510 WE NEED IT TO BE AT LEAST 89%. 379 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:46,479 SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER HERE IS RIGHT -- THE DOLL'S A BUST. 380 00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,015 WHIRLIE STUPID THING WOULD HAVE DONE WORSE. 381 00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,216 AND YOU'RE AN EXPERT ON THIS BECAUSE? 382 00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:50,550 -GUYS. -BECAUSE I WAS THERE. 383 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,285 -IT SPOKE TO ME. -IT SPO TO YOU? 384 00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:53,720 YES, IT REMINDED ME OF A TOY 385 00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,056 MY SOCIAL WORKER USED TO MAKE ME DO EXERCISES WITH. 386 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,424 ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THAT? 387 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,625 OH, LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO? 388 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,360 -THIS IS STUPID. -GUYS, JUST SETTLE DOWN. 389 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,029 WAIT A MINUTE. EXERCISES -- WHAT KIND OF EXERCISES? 390 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:05,265 IDENTIFYING EMOTIONS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 391 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,469 AND WHAT DO YOU FEEL HERE? 392 00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,604 ANGER. 393 00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,743 AND THIS GIRL WITH AN ICE-CREAM CONE? 394 00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:18,745 MORE ANGER. 395 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:26,186 AND THESE HAPPY FOLKS AT THE BEACH? 396 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:29,789 ACTUALLY, THIS ONE MAY BE... 397 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,592 DEFINITELY ANGER. 398 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,627 THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT. IT'S OBVIOUS. 399 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,329 WE CAN'T CON A 6-YEAR-OLD. 400 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:37,764 YOU KNOW WHO WE CAN CON? 401 00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,666 THEIR PARENTS. 402 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,202 OKAY, SO, HARDISON, YOU GET ON THAT LECTURE THING. 403 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,370 ELIOT, YOU GET ON THE MOMMIES. 404 00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,138 AND HE DOESN'T MEAN THAT LITERALLY. 405 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,274 -THAT JOKE IS NEVER FUNNY. -IT'S ALWAYS FUNNY. 406 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:49,776 NO. IT'S NOT, HARDISON. COMEDY'S ABOUT TIMING, AND YOU DON'T HAVE IT! 407 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,578 DO WE REALLY THINK PARENTS ARE GONNA BITE ON THIS? 408 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,380 UH, YEAH. WHAT DO YOU THINK PARENTS ARE MOST AFRAID OF? 409 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,481 -CLOWNS. -NO. 410 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,583 -EVIL CLOWNS? -NO, PARKER. 411 00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:58,818 CRAZY CLOWNS CALLED GeeGee WHO WHISPER YOUR NAME FROM UNDER YOUR BED? 412 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,720 NO. NO, PARENTS ARE MOST AFRAID THAT THEIR KIDS 413 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,689 AREN'T GONNA BE SUCCESSFUL -- THAT THEY'RE SOMEHOW 414 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,324 NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO COMPETE WITH OTHER KIDS. 415 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,692 THEY'RE GONNA BE LEFT BEHIND -- 416 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,527 THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE MOST AFRAID OF. 417 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,696 SO, WE PITCH THE DOLL AS A DEVELOPMENTAL TOOL, 418 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:12,665 AND THE CHILD USES IT TO ACCESS THEIR EMOTIONS 419 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,434 AND BECOME MORE SOCIALLY AWARE. 420 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:15,702 ABSOLUTELY. THIS IS GONNA WORK. AND IF THEY DON'T BUY IT, 421 00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:17,304 THEY RUN THE RISK OF THE KID BEING A MISFIT 422 00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:19,106 AND LIVING IN THE BASEMENT UNTIL HE'S 40. 423 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:21,608 WE NEED A NAME FOR THE NEW TOY -- AND A GOOD NAME. UHH... 424 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:22,842 NOT CRAZY GeeGee. 425 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,144 UH, NO. UMM... 426 00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:26,813 BABY FEELS-A-LOT. 427 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,781 WAIT -- WAIT, WHAT? WHAT? 428 00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,450 "BABY FEELS-A-LOT." 429 00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:34,154 I FEEL A LOT. YOU FEEL A LOT. WE ALL FEEL A LOT. 430 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,323 AND IT'S OKAY TO FEEL A LOT, 431 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:40,460 AS LONG AS YOU USE YOUR WORDS, RIGHT? 432 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:46,199 SOPHIE DEVEREAUX. 433 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,867 ISN'T THIS... I DON'T KNOW, WRONG -- 434 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,803 MESSING WITH CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, PLAYING WITH PARENTS' FEARS? 435 00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:53,240 I MEAN, DON'T YOU FEEL JUST A LITTLE BIT GUILTY 436 00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,274 GIVEN THE HOLIDAY? 437 00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,375 MM, NO. 438 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,376 -I DO. -WHY? 439 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,278 BECAUSE. 440 00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,480 PARKER, WHY IS THAT PEOPLE GIVE EACH OTHER CHRISTMAS PRESENTS? 441 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:01,881 TO BE NICE. 442 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,616 NO, BECAUSE THEY'RE BEING PROGRAMMED 443 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,852 BY THESE GIANT CORPORATIONS THAT DO ALL THIS RESEARCH 444 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,555 TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUSH THESE PSYCHOLOGICAL BUTTONS IN PEOPLE 445 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,390 TO MAKE THEM GET THESE PRESENTS, RIGHT? 446 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,325 MAKE NO MISTAKE, WHAT WE'RE DOING 447 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,861 IS WE'RE MANIPULATING FEARS AND MAKING THESE TOYS, 448 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,663 ALL OF IT. 449 00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:21,201 THIS -- THIS...IS CHRISTMAS. 450 00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,670 YEAH. 451 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,138 LET'S GET TO WORK. 452 00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:27,574 CHILDREN ARE UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE 453 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,442 THE WAY THEY ONCE DID. 454 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:33,280 WE HAVE TAKEN AWAY THEIR NEED FOR COGNITIVE THOUGHT PROCESS, 455 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,882 THEIR YEARNING FOR COMMUNIQUé, IF YOU WILL. 456 00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:39,486 BUT I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT THAT IS ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE 457 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:42,922 BECAUSE WE ARE BRINGING YOU A NEW TOY TO THE MARKETPLACE. 458 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:47,194 PLEASE ALLOW ME TO PRESENT BABY FEELS-A-LOT. 459 00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:50,797 NOW CHILDREN WILL BE ABLE TO ONCE AGAIN COMMUNICATE 460 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,665 ON A HUMANE LEVEL. 461 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:56,569 THEY WILL BE ABLE TO LEARN HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY ARTICULATE. 462 00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,371 ARE THEY HAPPY? 463 00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:01,474 ARE THEY SAD? ARE THEY MAD? 464 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:04,644 IT IS BECAUSE WE, AS ADULTS, 465 00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:09,316 KNOW THAT FUN IS THE WORK OF CHILDHOOD, 466 00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:14,321 AND TOYS ARE THE TOOLS THAT WE USE TO ACCOMPLISH THAT WORK. 467 00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:17,290 THANK YOU. 468 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:18,558 ALL RIGHT, CUT. 469 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,727 DUDE, HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS CRAP? 470 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,296 I STUDIED EARLY-CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT. 471 00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,631 LOOK, MAN, VIDEO'S DONE. 472 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,433 I MAKE IT SEEM LIKE I'M TALKING TO HUNDREDS, 473 00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:29,502 UPLOAD IT TO THE BLOGGER-MOM SITES, WE'RE GOOD TO GO. 474 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:32,205 -DUDE, THE BLOGGER MOMS? -YES, BLOGGER MOMS. 475 00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:34,941 THEY TALK ABOUT PARENTHOOD, SCHOOLS, LIFE AT HOME. 476 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:37,810 LOOK, YOU GET ONE OF THESE SITES TO ENDORSE YOU, 477 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,946 YOUR TOY'S GONNA GO VIRAL -- TRUST ME. 478 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,214 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] 479 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,386 -THAT'S A BLOGGER MOM? -UH, CHARDONNAY MOM? 480 00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:47,987 YEAH, THAT'S ALLIE STANBROOK, MAN. 481 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,590 SHE RUNS ONE OF THE TOP BLOGGER SITES IN THE NATION. 482 00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,992 SHE'S LOCAL, TOO -- PDX, BABY. 483 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,361 [ KEYBOARD CLACKING ] 484 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,329 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, LISTEN TO ME, 485 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,465 IF I'M GONNA DO THIS, ALL RIGHT, I WANT TO -- 486 00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,566 I WANT TO BE TOUGH DAD. 487 00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:00,900 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? COOL DAD. 488 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,502 JUST ENOUGH TO TURN HER HEAD. 489 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,471 DON'T GO OVERBOARD ON THIS. KEEP IT SIMPLE. 490 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:07,307 YOU KNOW, SOMEONE WHO'S -- WHO'S NOT AFRAID TO MAKE A PB&J, 491 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,842 OKAY, BUT STILL WANTS TO GO OUT IN THE YARD, GET DIRTY, 492 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,744 KICK THE SOCCER BALL AROUND A LITTLE BIT -- 493 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:14,614 STRICT...BUT FAIR. 494 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:19,252 AFTER MY WIFE PASSED, IT WAS, UH... 495 00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:26,293 IT WAS VERY TOUGH FOR ME AND MY SON...DASHIEL...TO COMMUNICATE. 496 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:34,867 BUT...THAT'S WHEN BABY FEELS-A-LOT CAME INTO OUR LIVES. 497 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:38,405 AND, YOU KNOW, LISTEN, DON'T GET ME WRONG. 498 00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:40,340 I'M ONE OF THOSE DADS -- 499 00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,742 I HAD A PROBLEM WITH MY SON PLAYING WITH A DOLL. 500 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,377 -[ CHUCKLING ] -YEAH. 501 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:47,947 BUT...I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING -- IT WORKED. 502 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,882 WE WERE TALKING AGAIN. 503 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,050 AWW. 504 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,620 YOU KNOW, WE WERE FATHER AND SON. 505 00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:57,457 AND I FELT THE DUTY -- I HAD TO GET THIS OUT THERE. 506 00:20:57,490 --> 00:21:01,861 I HAD TO LET THE OTHER DADS KNOW WHAT THIS PRODUCT DID FOR US. 507 00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:04,531 SO, I STARTED A BLOG. [ LAUGHS ] 508 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:06,366 OH, MY GOD. 509 00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:09,402 WELL, I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE LEFT ALONE. [ CHUCKLES ] 510 00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:12,405 I MEAN, AFTER MY DIVORCE, I WAS UTTERLY GUTTED, 511 00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:15,375 WENT THROUGH ALL THE STAGES OF GRIEF. 512 00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:17,043 IT'S WHAT LED ME TO START BLOGGING. 513 00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:20,447 HANG IN THERE, OKAY? 514 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,781 I WILL. 515 00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:24,417 HONESTLY, I THINK WITH YOU HERE, ALLIE, 516 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,919 I MIGHT JUST BE ABLE TO HANG ON FOREVER. 517 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,955 -AWW! -AWW! 518 00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:30,790 -OH, CARL. -OH. 519 00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:32,659 OH. 520 00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:34,561 WELL, NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE MY SUPPORT, 521 00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:37,096 BUT YOU HAVE THE SUPPORT OF EVERY BLOGGER MOM IN THE STATE. 522 00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,931 OH, THANK YOU. [ LAUGHS ] 523 00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:39,966 LADIES? 524 00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,005 I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, LADY, 525 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,940 BUT YOUR LATEST MOVE WITH THAT DOLL, 526 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,442 PLAYING THE SMART-BABY CARD? 527 00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:51,544 NICELY DONE... 528 00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:54,747 IF THIS WAS 2004. 529 00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:56,583 SMART BABIES ARE SO EIGHT YEARS AGO. 530 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,488 WELL-ADJUSTED CHILDREN ARE SO TODAY. 531 00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:03,990 IN DALLAS LAST WEEK, FIREMEN USED A BABY FEELS-A-LOT 532 00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:06,626 TO COAX A RUNAWAY CHILD DOWN FROM A RADIO TOWER. 533 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:10,663 DO YOUR TOYS SAVE LIVES, MR. HAZLIT? 534 00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:13,132 -WELL, THAT IS ONE SMART BABY. -HEY, TRENT. 535 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:15,668 -LET'S TALK SHELVES. -LET'S. 536 00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:17,937 OH, MR. BARTON. I'M SO SORRY. 537 00:22:17,970 --> 00:22:22,041 I JUST HAVE A FEW MINUTES BEFORE MY 3:15 AT MATTEL. 538 00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:24,411 SO, IF YOU COULD POSSIBLY -- 539 00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:27,814 [ Chuckling ] WELL...I DON'T SUPPOSE OLD TRENT WOULD MIND, 540 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,616 WOULD YOU, SON? 541 00:22:29,649 --> 00:22:31,651 I MEAN, LADIES FIRST. 542 00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:36,423 LADIES -- OF COURSE. 543 00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:38,925 OKAY, I'VE WRITTEN THREE MONTHS' WORTH OF BLOGS 544 00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:40,960 FOR OUR SENSITIVE DAD OVER HERE. 545 00:22:40,993 --> 00:22:43,062 I GOT PRICES FOR THE BRACES, DASHIEL'S CHESS CLUB -- 546 00:22:43,095 --> 00:22:45,064 YOU PUT IN THERE THAT WE WENT TO THE SUPER BOWL? 547 00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:47,166 OH, YEAH, MAN. YEAH, YOU EVEN MET SOME OF THE PLAYERS. 548 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:49,569 NOW, WHAT I WAS THINKING -- TELL ME WHAT YOU FEEL. 549 00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:51,404 YOU GUYS GO ON, LIKE, A ROAD TRIP CROSS-COUNTRY, 550 00:22:51,438 --> 00:22:53,139 YOU DO A TOUR, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 551 00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:55,174 YEAH, YEAH. I LIKE THAT. I LIKE THAT. 552 00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:56,643 OR -- AND I'M JUST GONNA PUT THIS OUT THERE -- 553 00:22:56,676 --> 00:22:58,077 WHAT IF I TOOK HIM ON A TOUR 554 00:22:58,110 --> 00:22:59,912 OF ALL THE BALLPARKS IN AMERICA, HARDISON, HUH? 555 00:22:59,946 --> 00:23:01,948 OR MAYBE TOOK HIM TO THE OPERA OR THE MOON, HUH? 556 00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:03,516 A LITTLE SARCASM? A LITTLE SARCASM? 557 00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:04,817 YOU KNOW, BELIEVABLE FATHER-AND-SON STUFF! 558 00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:06,118 WILL YOU GUYS -- A LITTLE FOCUS, PLEASE. 559 00:23:06,152 --> 00:23:08,087 LOOK AT THE PICTURE HE USED, MAN! 560 00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:09,856 HEY! HEY! EXCUSE ME, MAN. 561 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,958 I'M SORRY IF THIS KIND OF WRITING OPENS ME UP CREATIVELY. 562 00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:13,793 I'M USUALLY STUCK LOOKING AT BINARY CODES ALL DAY. 563 00:23:13,826 --> 00:23:16,629 MAYBE I WAS WRITING THE FATHER THAT I WANTED ONE DAY, OKAY? 564 00:23:16,663 --> 00:23:19,532 M-- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH GETTING EMOTIONALLY BUTT NAKED? 565 00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:21,033 -WHOA. -OH, PLEASE, DON'T. 566 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:22,769 I'M JUST TRYING TO SHARE MY FEELINGS ON PAPER. 567 00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:24,537 WE DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT. NO, PLEASE. PLEASE, DON'T. 568 00:23:24,571 --> 00:23:26,072 NOW, LISTEN, HARDISON, 569 00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:27,640 I'M VERY HAPPY WITH YOUR CREATIVITY AND EVERYTHING, 570 00:23:27,674 --> 00:23:29,542 BUT WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS, WHAT DO YOU HAVE 571 00:23:29,576 --> 00:23:30,577 ON THE BLOGGER MOMS ABOUT ELIOT? 572 00:23:30,610 --> 00:23:31,911 OH, WHAT DID THE MAMAS SAY? 573 00:23:31,944 --> 00:23:35,014 OH, WHAT ARE THEY SAYING ABOUT THE SENSITIVE DAD? 574 00:23:35,047 --> 00:23:36,716 [ KEYBOARD CLACKING ] 575 00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:38,451 I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU. I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOUR ASS. 576 00:23:38,485 --> 00:23:40,987 BOOM. CHARDONNAY MAMA. SHE CUTE, THOUGH. 577 00:23:41,020 --> 00:23:42,689 -AIN'T SHE FINE? -SHE IS. 578 00:23:42,722 --> 00:23:44,023 LOOK WHAT SHE SAYS. 579 00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:45,825 [ High-pitched ] "OH, THIS WEEK, I WAS INTRODUCED 580 00:23:45,858 --> 00:23:47,727 "TO AN AMAZING NEW TOY CALLED BABY FEELS-A-LOT, 581 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,562 "THANKS TO A GENTLEMAN WHO COULDN'T BE A MORE KIND, 582 00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:52,665 MORE HANDSOME, OR MORE SENSITIVE SINGLE DAD." 583 00:23:52,699 --> 00:23:54,133 YOU DON'T DESERVE NONE OF THAT. 584 00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:55,902 NOW, HOW ARE WE DOING WITH THE TOY'S POPULARITY? 585 00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:57,837 SATURATION INDEXES ARE TICKING UP 'CAUSE I DID MY JOB. 586 00:23:57,870 --> 00:23:59,238 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] ALL RIGHT. 587 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:00,840 SOPHIE, WHAT'S HAZLIT UP TO? 588 00:24:00,873 --> 00:24:01,908 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 589 00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,543 WELL, IF YOU'RE REALLY SERIOUS, 590 00:24:03,576 --> 00:24:05,878 I MEAN, OUR NEXT RETREAT'S GONNA BE IN TAHOE. 591 00:24:05,912 --> 00:24:07,914 OH, TAHOE -- COUNT ME IN. 592 00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,516 [ CHUCKLES ] DON'T TEASE ME, GIL. 593 00:24:09,549 --> 00:24:10,983 I AM SO FLATTERED THAT YOU ASKED ME. 594 00:24:11,017 --> 00:24:12,985 -EXCUSE ME, SIR? -[ CHUCKLES ] 595 00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:14,654 OH, EXCUSE ME, MIMI. 596 00:24:14,687 --> 00:24:17,189 IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY DEAL MEMO I HAD TO SIGN. 597 00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:18,691 OH, NO PROBLEM, GIL. 598 00:24:18,725 --> 00:24:21,594 IT'S BEEN SUCH A PLEASURE TALKING TO YOU. 599 00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:24,697 NEXT YEAR, YOU AND ME -- KITE SURFING, TAHOE. 600 00:24:24,731 --> 00:24:25,765 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 601 00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:27,767 -TAHOE? GREAT. -[ SIGHS ] 602 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,769 WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE? 603 00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:31,504 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 604 00:24:31,538 --> 00:24:33,239 IT'S ALL OVER THE EXPO. LITTLE MISS HIGH HEELS THERE 605 00:24:33,272 --> 00:24:35,041 IS BIDDING ON THE PREMIUM SHELF SPACE -- 606 00:24:35,074 --> 00:24:36,709 DAYS BEFORE MY CHUBBY SNUBBY LAUNCH. 607 00:24:36,743 --> 00:24:39,145 I DON'T THINK I LIKE YOUR TONE, TRENT. 608 00:24:39,178 --> 00:24:40,613 I'LL CALL YOU LATER. 609 00:24:40,647 --> 00:24:42,849 YOU HAVE MY NUMBER. 610 00:24:42,882 --> 00:24:44,551 I GOT YOURS. 611 00:24:47,019 --> 00:24:48,955 -HI. -MERRY CHRISTMAS! 612 00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:52,091 MERRY -- OHH, YOU'RE GRUMPY. [ CHUCKLES ] 613 00:24:52,124 --> 00:24:54,160 MERRY CHRISTMAS! 614 00:24:54,193 --> 00:24:58,030 A LITTLE WORRIED, MR. HAZLIT? 615 00:24:58,064 --> 00:25:00,833 [ CHUCKLES ] 1989. 616 00:25:00,867 --> 00:25:02,735 "1989"? 617 00:25:02,769 --> 00:25:05,772 25 MACHETED CONTRAS WANTING TO GUT ME NAVEL-TO-CHIN 618 00:25:05,805 --> 00:25:08,808 IN THE HONDURAN RAIN FOREST -- THEN, I WAS WORRIED. 619 00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:10,242 THIS? THIS IS NOTHING. 620 00:25:10,276 --> 00:25:12,812 BUT I EARNED THE CONTRAS' RESPECT, 621 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:14,647 AND THEY TAUGHT ME ONE THING. 622 00:25:14,681 --> 00:25:16,549 I'M ALL EARS. 623 00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:17,950 "PLATA O PLOMO." 624 00:25:17,984 --> 00:25:20,653 "SILVER OR LEAD." 625 00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:22,188 EXACTLY. 626 00:25:22,221 --> 00:25:26,192 TAKE A BRIBE, THE SILVER, OR YOU GET A BULLET, THE LEAD. 627 00:25:26,225 --> 00:25:28,961 THOSE ARE GONNA BE BARTON'S OPTIONS IN THE NEXT FEW MINUTES. 628 00:25:28,995 --> 00:25:32,965 BEHIND DOOR NUMBER ONE -- $80,000 IN CASH. 629 00:25:32,999 --> 00:25:36,769 TAKE A PEEK INSIDE FOR THE LEAD. 630 00:25:39,839 --> 00:25:42,742 PICTURES OF BARTON'S LAST TRIP TO CABO -- 631 00:25:42,775 --> 00:25:44,777 PICTURES THE MISSUS DOESN'T WANT TO SEE. 632 00:25:44,811 --> 00:25:47,580 WHICH DO YOU THINK HE'S GONNA CHOOSE? 633 00:25:47,614 --> 00:25:50,082 YOU PLAY DIRTY, HAZLIT. 634 00:25:50,116 --> 00:25:52,118 WELL, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. 635 00:25:52,151 --> 00:25:55,955 AND WITHOUT JOYLANDIA, YOUR BABY FEEL-ME-UP 636 00:25:55,988 --> 00:25:57,657 WITH ALL HER LITTLE FEELINGS 637 00:25:57,690 --> 00:26:00,126 THAT MAKE THE KIDDIES SO EMOTIONALLY ARTICULATE -- 638 00:26:00,159 --> 00:26:01,728 YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO IT? 639 00:26:01,761 --> 00:26:03,763 POOF. BYE-BYE. 640 00:26:05,865 --> 00:26:09,736 HAZLIT IS BLACKMAILING BARTON TO TRY AND NIX MY SHELF SPACE. 641 00:26:09,769 --> 00:26:12,038 AND HE THINKS IT'S TURNING ME ON. 642 00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:14,140 [ GAGS ] THE GUY IS A MENACE. 643 00:26:14,173 --> 00:26:17,209 HE'S A MENACE. SO, WE BECOME MORE OF A MENACE. 644 00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:18,911 HARDISON, HOW ARE WE ON SALES? 645 00:26:18,945 --> 00:26:21,648 UMM... [ KEYBOARD CLACKS ] 646 00:26:21,681 --> 00:26:24,350 WELL, THE BLOGS IN SOPHIE'S THEATER GROUP PIMP THE DEMAND, 647 00:26:24,383 --> 00:26:26,819 BUT THE PARENTS ARE BUYING 52% OF THEIR HOLIDAY GIFTS 648 00:26:26,853 --> 00:26:28,621 ON THE INTERNET. 649 00:26:28,655 --> 00:26:31,190 OKAY, SO, WE HAVE TO UP BABY FEELS-A-LOT'S ONLINE APPEAL. 650 00:26:31,223 --> 00:26:32,792 -YEAH, PRESALES. -YES. 651 00:26:32,825 --> 00:26:33,893 AND THEN WHEN THE SALES GO THROUGH THE ROOF, 652 00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:35,828 HAZLIT IS GONNA WANT TO BUY IN. 653 00:26:35,862 --> 00:26:38,965 SO, WE SET UP A MEETING WITH HIM AND THE OWNER OF... 654 00:26:38,998 --> 00:26:41,200 LUCKY BEANS TOYS. 655 00:26:41,233 --> 00:26:42,234 YES, ME. 656 00:26:42,268 --> 00:26:44,403 -ALL RIGHT. -WHAT? 657 00:26:44,436 --> 00:26:46,939 NOTHING. 658 00:26:46,973 --> 00:26:48,841 OKAY? 659 00:26:51,043 --> 00:26:53,946 WELL, IT'S JUST... I WAS TALKING TO PARKER, 660 00:26:53,980 --> 00:26:55,381 AND, I MEAN, WE'RE A LITTLE DOWN ABOUT CHRISTMAS. 661 00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:56,949 WE THINK...WE'RE... 662 00:26:56,983 --> 00:26:59,185 KIND OF RUINING THE HOLIDAY OR SOMETHING. 663 00:26:59,218 --> 00:27:01,353 HARDISON, CHRISTMAS WAS PRE-RUINED. 664 00:27:01,387 --> 00:27:03,355 YOU KNOW HOW IT BEGAN? 665 00:27:03,389 --> 00:27:05,357 [ GASPS ] NO. SHH. 666 00:27:05,391 --> 00:27:07,226 YEAH, IT WAS A FAT GUY IN A CHIMNEY. 667 00:27:07,259 --> 00:27:08,961 CHRISTMAS BEGAN AS A PAGAN, PRE-ROMAN FEAST 668 00:27:08,995 --> 00:27:11,363 INVOLVING THE SACRIFICE OF CHILDREN. 669 00:27:12,865 --> 00:27:14,333 HO-HO-HO. 670 00:27:14,366 --> 00:27:17,003 IS HE SERIOUS? 671 00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:20,673 I MEAN, DANG, I FEEL LIKE I JUST GOT SUCKER-PUNCHED 672 00:27:20,707 --> 00:27:22,008 BY AN ELF-HATING, SCROOGE-LOVING, 673 00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:23,976 NO-GIFT-GIVING ANTI-CLAUS. 674 00:27:24,010 --> 00:27:27,747 I MEAN, AM I BLEEDING? 675 00:27:27,780 --> 00:27:29,181 LITTLE BIT. 676 00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:34,453 SIR, THIS BABY FEELS-A-LOT CRAZE ISN'T GOING AWAY. 677 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,155 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE KILLED IT. 678 00:27:36,188 --> 00:27:38,257 WELL, THE TOY'S GENERATING SO MUCH BUZZ 679 00:27:38,290 --> 00:27:41,894 THAT IT'S ALREADY RANKED 5th ON THE NPD CHARTS FOR WEB PRESALES. 680 00:27:41,928 --> 00:27:43,229 AHEAD OF CHUBBY SNUBBY? 681 00:27:43,262 --> 00:27:45,164 TWO DAYS MAX BEFORE IT HITS THE TOP SPOT. 682 00:27:45,197 --> 00:27:47,033 PEOPLE ARE PRE-ORDERING IT LIKE CRAZY, 683 00:27:47,066 --> 00:27:49,268 AND IT HASN'T EVEN HIT A SINGLE STORE SHELF YET. 684 00:27:49,301 --> 00:27:50,436 IT'S JUST GONE VIRAL, BOSS. 685 00:27:52,104 --> 00:27:56,075 I WANT A SIT-DOWN WITH THIS BABY FEELS-SO-HOT WOMAN, 686 00:27:56,108 --> 00:27:57,476 AND I WANT IT NOW. 687 00:27:57,509 --> 00:28:00,046 GO. 688 00:28:03,215 --> 00:28:06,786 SO, YOU TAKE AWAY BABY FEELS-A-LOT'S SHELF SPACE 689 00:28:06,819 --> 00:28:08,320 AND THEN TAKE ME OUT FOR DRINKS. 690 00:28:08,354 --> 00:28:10,156 [ CLICKS TONGUE ] 691 00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:12,424 MAYBE I WAS WRONG... 692 00:28:12,458 --> 00:28:14,861 UNDERESTIMATING BABY FEELS-A-LOT. 693 00:28:14,894 --> 00:28:15,862 OH? 694 00:28:15,895 --> 00:28:17,496 I'M A SENSIBLE BUSINESSMAN. 695 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:19,131 LET ME MEET THE OWNER. 696 00:28:19,165 --> 00:28:20,800 YOU BE MY BACK CHANNEL. 697 00:28:20,833 --> 00:28:23,369 MAYBE YOU AND I CAN... DO BUSINESS. 698 00:28:23,402 --> 00:28:25,137 WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME? 699 00:28:25,171 --> 00:28:28,875 YOU MAKE A MOVE ON BABY FEELS-A-LOT, I'M OUT OF A JOB. 700 00:28:28,908 --> 00:28:31,377 QUARTER-POINT OF THE GROSS ON THE DEAL -- 701 00:28:31,410 --> 00:28:34,180 COMPENSATES YOU WELL. 702 00:28:34,213 --> 00:28:38,384 ENTICING, BUT...I HAVE TO WARN YOU ABOUT EARL GREIPAL, 703 00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:40,452 THE OWNER OF LUCKY BEANS. 704 00:28:40,486 --> 00:28:44,123 HE'S -- WELL, LET'S SAY HE'S SOMEWHAT ECCENTRIC, 705 00:28:44,156 --> 00:28:47,459 AND HE'S VERY HOSTILE TO SELLING HIS COMPANY. 706 00:28:47,493 --> 00:28:49,361 MOST OF THESE INDIE TOY GUYS ARE FRIGGING NUTS -- 707 00:28:49,395 --> 00:28:51,163 THAT IS, UNTIL THEY SEE THE NUMBER OF ZEROES 708 00:28:51,197 --> 00:28:52,865 I PUT ON A CHECK. 709 00:28:52,899 --> 00:28:54,901 HALF A POINT OF THE GROSS, $21K AS A FINDER'S FEE, 710 00:28:54,934 --> 00:28:59,338 AND A V.P. POSITION AT POGGIO TOYS -- THAT'S WHAT I WANT. 711 00:28:59,371 --> 00:29:01,941 GOD, YOU'RE GOOD. 712 00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:04,476 DEAL. 713 00:29:04,510 --> 00:29:08,480 BY THE WAY, YOU AVAILABLE? 714 00:29:08,514 --> 00:29:10,316 NO, I'M MARRIED. 715 00:29:10,349 --> 00:29:13,820 YOU SEE, I DIDN'T ASK YOU THAT. 716 00:29:13,853 --> 00:29:18,490 LET'S STICK TO BUSINESS FOR NOW, TRENT. 717 00:29:24,263 --> 00:29:26,165 "FOR NOW." 718 00:29:26,198 --> 00:29:28,334 [ CHUCKLES ] 719 00:29:31,137 --> 00:29:33,505 HAZLIT'S ON THE HOOK FOR BABY FEELS-A-LOT. 720 00:29:33,539 --> 00:29:34,874 DAMN, GIRL, YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG. 721 00:29:34,907 --> 00:29:36,508 THAT TOY DOES HAVE LEGS. 722 00:29:36,542 --> 00:29:38,978 [ LAUGHS ] AND YOU DOUBTED ME JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM. 723 00:29:39,011 --> 00:29:40,479 ME? NO. 724 00:29:40,512 --> 00:29:42,949 I WOULD -- I WOULDN'T DO THAT. 725 00:29:44,016 --> 00:29:45,417 [ Cellphone speed-dials ] 726 00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:47,419 MM-HMM. YEP. [ CLEARS THROAT ] 727 00:29:47,453 --> 00:29:48,955 HELLO. LUCKY BEAN TOYS? 728 00:29:48,988 --> 00:29:51,357 THIS IS CHARLOTTE GERRARD, FIRE CHIEF. 729 00:29:51,390 --> 00:29:54,393 OUR MACHINES DETECTED A SEVERE GAS LEAK 730 00:29:54,426 --> 00:29:56,595 IN ONE OF YOUR COMPANY BUILDINGS. 731 00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:59,298 YES, THAT'S THE ONE -- THE ONE YOU HAVE. 732 00:29:59,331 --> 00:30:00,867 THAT COMPANY BUILDING. 733 00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:02,268 YES. 734 00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:05,471 YES, YOU NEED TO EVACUATE EVERYONE IMMEDIATELY. 735 00:30:05,504 --> 00:30:07,006 I SAID "EVERYONE"! 736 00:30:07,039 --> 00:30:08,340 [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ] 737 00:30:08,374 --> 00:30:11,210 -THINK THAT'LL DO IT? -YEAH, IT SHOULD. 738 00:30:11,243 --> 00:30:13,445 YEAH. I THINK I SCARED HER A LITTLE BIT. DID YOU JUMP? 739 00:30:13,479 --> 00:30:14,546 -YOU SCARED ME. -JUMPY. 740 00:30:19,551 --> 00:30:21,954 WELL, WHILE I'M BAFFLED -- 741 00:30:21,988 --> 00:30:25,624 DELIGHTED BY THE SUDDEN INTEREST IN MY TOY, 742 00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:29,628 MONEY IS NOT WHY I DESIGNED BABY FEELS-A-LOT. 743 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:31,363 NO. 744 00:30:31,397 --> 00:30:35,301 I DID IT FOR MY SON, NESTOR, YES... 745 00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:38,170 WHO IS NOW IN FEDERAL PRISON. 746 00:30:38,204 --> 00:30:39,171 OH? 747 00:30:39,205 --> 00:30:41,073 YES, IT WAS A NASTY EPISODE 748 00:30:41,107 --> 00:30:43,075 INVOLVING HORSES AND MEN FROM TACOMA. 749 00:30:43,109 --> 00:30:47,313 DOCTORS ATTRIBUTE IT TO NESTOR'S DIFFICULTY GROWING UP, 750 00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:50,917 HAVING EMOTIONS, FRUSTRATION, ANGER ISSUES. 751 00:30:50,950 --> 00:30:53,452 -I SEE. -MR. GREIPAL HAS OFTEN SAID 752 00:30:53,485 --> 00:30:57,189 THAT HE WISHED THAT THERE HAD BEEN A TOY LIKE BABY FEELS-A-LOT 753 00:30:57,223 --> 00:30:59,425 DURING NESTOR'S DEVELOPMENTAL YEARS. 754 00:30:59,458 --> 00:31:02,328 I WISH THERE HAD BEEN A TOY LIKE BABY FEELS-A-LOT 755 00:31:02,361 --> 00:31:06,232 DURING NESTOR'S DEVELOPMENTAL YEARS. 756 00:31:06,265 --> 00:31:08,334 AH, DIFFERENT TIMES. 757 00:31:08,367 --> 00:31:11,070 SO, MR. HAZLIT, YOU KNOW, EXPERTS -- 758 00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:14,040 THEY CAN LOOK AT DATA OR COLOR SCHEMATICS 759 00:31:14,073 --> 00:31:17,409 ABOUT WHAT CHILDREN SUPPOSEDLY LIKE OR DON'T LIKE. 760 00:31:17,443 --> 00:31:20,913 BUT REALLY WHAT THEY SHOULD DO IS THEY SHOULD... 761 00:31:20,947 --> 00:31:24,516 THEY SHOULD LOOK INSIDE AT THE CHILD INSIDE THEMSELVES. 762 00:31:24,550 --> 00:31:28,921 THAT'S WHAT WE INTEND TO DO WITH BABY FEELS-A-LOT, MR. GREIPAL. 763 00:31:28,955 --> 00:31:31,457 WE HAVE AN EXCELLENT TRACK RECORD -- 764 00:31:31,490 --> 00:31:34,360 YES, OKAY, BUT THE CHILD WITHIN ME 765 00:31:34,393 --> 00:31:37,363 IS SAYING THAT WHAT YOU INTEND TO DO 766 00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:40,232 IS SHIP NESTOR'S TOY OFF TO CHINA 767 00:31:40,266 --> 00:31:44,336 AND TURN IT INTO SOME SORT OF EMOTIONAL ABOMINATION. 768 00:31:44,370 --> 00:31:46,505 YOU HAVEN'T HEARD MY OFFER. 769 00:31:46,538 --> 00:31:50,977 WELL, I'M AFRAID THAT NO MATTER HOW GENEROUS YOUR OFFER IS... 770 00:31:53,545 --> 00:31:56,015 ...THE ANSWER IS NO. 771 00:31:59,185 --> 00:32:02,521 OKAY. FINE. 772 00:32:02,554 --> 00:32:04,023 [ SIGHS ] 773 00:32:04,056 --> 00:32:05,557 YOU ASK ME, GEPPETTO IN THERE 774 00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:08,127 WANTS TO NAVEL-GAZE FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS, 775 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,628 NOT SELL HIS COMPANY. 776 00:32:09,661 --> 00:32:13,032 LOOK, YOU MAKE A VERY FAST, VERY LARGE OFFER 777 00:32:13,065 --> 00:32:17,203 BEFORE THIS CRAZE GOES NUTS, AND I PROMISE YOU HE'LL BITE. 778 00:32:17,236 --> 00:32:20,039 HE'S ODD, YES, BUT HE'S NOT STUPID. 779 00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:24,376 I KNOW THAT YOU CORPORATE GUYS LIKE TO MOVE SLOWLY, YOU KNOW, 780 00:32:24,410 --> 00:32:27,279 WHILE LAWYERS POKE AROUND FOR MONTHS, 781 00:32:27,313 --> 00:32:31,050 BUT IF GREIPAL GETS HINKY, THIS THING IS ALL OVER. 782 00:32:31,083 --> 00:32:33,652 GIVE ME THE SAMPLE OF THE TOY. 783 00:32:33,685 --> 00:32:35,354 I WANT TO RUN A SAFETY STUDY. 784 00:32:35,387 --> 00:32:37,289 WELL, DON'T WE JUST FUDGE THE SAFETY NUMBERS DOWN THE ROAD 785 00:32:37,323 --> 00:32:38,524 IF WE HAVE TO? 786 00:32:38,557 --> 00:32:42,494 OHH, WE COULD BE SO GREAT TOGETHER. 787 00:32:42,528 --> 00:32:46,265 I'LL OVERNIGHT AN EXPEDITED STUDY -- MY COMPANY'S LICENSE. 788 00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:48,700 WHATEVER THE RESULTS, CALL ME TOMORROW WITH GREIPAL'S PRICE. 789 00:32:48,734 --> 00:32:50,269 [ SIGHS ] 790 00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:55,407 I'LL BE AS GENTLE AS IF I WAS HOLDING YOUR -- 791 00:32:55,441 --> 00:32:58,010 DON'T...SAY IT. 792 00:32:59,211 --> 00:33:01,113 I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. 793 00:33:09,121 --> 00:33:11,190 I NEED THIS EXPEDITED A.S.A.P. 794 00:33:11,223 --> 00:33:13,725 TELL WIGGINS IT'S FOR TRENT HAZLIT, 795 00:33:13,759 --> 00:33:17,129 AND I WANT THE 12-HOUR TURNAROUND FOR POGGIO. 796 00:33:17,163 --> 00:33:19,731 MANUFACTURING LICENSE AND MEDALLION? 797 00:33:19,765 --> 00:33:23,635 IT'S ALL...RIGHT IN THERE. 798 00:33:28,207 --> 00:33:29,741 HAZLIT? 799 00:33:29,775 --> 00:33:31,477 -MM? -GOOD NEWS. 800 00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:33,412 I HAVE A FIGURE FOR YOU. 801 00:33:33,445 --> 00:33:34,780 HE WAS A BIT HESITANT AT FIRST, BUT I -- 802 00:33:34,813 --> 00:33:36,582 LET ME STOP YOU. I HAVE NO INTEREST 803 00:33:36,615 --> 00:33:38,650 IN BUYING THE DOLL OR MR. GREIPAL'S COMPANY. 804 00:33:38,684 --> 00:33:40,252 -WHY NOT? -ONLY REASON I DID 805 00:33:40,286 --> 00:33:42,354 THE SAFETY STUDY WAS TO GET THE TOY'S SPECS. 806 00:33:42,388 --> 00:33:43,589 WHAT FOR? 807 00:33:43,622 --> 00:33:45,291 TO RELEASE A KNOCK-OFF THAT'LL UNDERCUT 808 00:33:45,324 --> 00:33:47,126 THE BABY FEELS-A-LOT'S PRICE POINT BY 40%. 809 00:33:47,159 --> 00:33:52,764 IN FACT, I PLAN TO MENTION BABY HAPPY MAD -- NICE, HUH? -- 810 00:33:52,798 --> 00:33:55,434 THIS AFTERNOON AT MY PRESS CONFERENCE 811 00:33:55,467 --> 00:33:57,069 FOR CHUBBY SNUBBY DOG. 812 00:33:57,103 --> 00:33:58,804 SO, THANKS FOR THE FREE BUZZ. 813 00:33:58,837 --> 00:34:01,540 YOUR KNOCK-OFF WILL NEVER REPLACE 814 00:34:01,573 --> 00:34:03,509 THE REAL BABY FEELS-A-LOT. 815 00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:05,644 LISTEN, DARLING... 816 00:34:05,677 --> 00:34:09,481 I GOT THREE FLOORS OF HIGHLY PAID FUNGINEERS 817 00:34:09,515 --> 00:34:13,085 WHO ARE ALREADY AMPING UP THE HAPPINESS FACTOR ON THAT DOLL 818 00:34:13,119 --> 00:34:14,586 LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE. 819 00:34:14,620 --> 00:34:17,689 MR. GREIPAL MIGHT MAKE TOYS WITH LOVE ON THE INSIDE, 820 00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:20,759 BUT MINE ARE MADE WITH PETROLEUM-BASED PLASTICS 821 00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:24,163 AND THE BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS OF THIRD-WORLD 11-YEAR-OLDS. 822 00:34:24,196 --> 00:34:25,564 YOU CAN'T BEAT IT. 823 00:34:25,597 --> 00:34:28,800 SO, COME ON, HELP ME CELEBRATE. 824 00:34:28,834 --> 00:34:30,569 YOU ARE A -- 825 00:34:30,602 --> 00:34:34,440 THE MALE VERSION OF YOU. 826 00:34:34,473 --> 00:34:35,874 COME ON. 827 00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:39,645 WHO DOESN'T DREAM OF DATING THEMSELVES, RIGHT? 828 00:34:39,678 --> 00:34:42,281 [ SIGHS ] 829 00:34:49,188 --> 00:34:52,090 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 830 00:34:52,858 --> 00:34:56,662 "CHUBBY SNUBBY IS THE FUTURE OF OUR COMPANY." 831 00:34:56,695 --> 00:34:58,764 "CHUBBY SNUBBY IS THE FUTURE OF OUR COMPANY." 832 00:34:58,797 --> 00:35:00,666 CAN YOU FEEL THE ENERGY OUT THERE, SIR? 833 00:35:00,699 --> 00:35:02,768 THIS IS GONNA BE BIG. "THE ENERGY OUT THERE." 834 00:35:02,801 --> 00:35:04,436 IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ENERGY OUT THERE. 835 00:35:04,470 --> 00:35:05,871 IT'S ABOUT THE ENERGY IN HERE. 836 00:35:05,904 --> 00:35:08,907 -THIS IS ABOUT TRENT HAZLIT. -OH, RIGHT, RIGHT. 837 00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:11,577 SO, GO OUT THERE AND GIVE THEM A BIG, OLD BAG OF TRENT. 838 00:35:11,610 --> 00:35:12,811 [ CHUCKLES ] 839 00:35:12,844 --> 00:35:14,780 SHUT UP. [ CLEARS THROAT ] 840 00:35:14,813 --> 00:35:16,648 THERE HE IS. MR. HAZLIT! MR. HAZLIT! 841 00:35:16,682 --> 00:35:19,218 I'LL TAKE QUESTIONS AFTER THE LAUNCH CELEBRATION. 842 00:35:19,251 --> 00:35:21,487 SO, YOU'RE TREATING THIS CHUBBY SNUBBY TOY DOG 843 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,522 RECALL AS A CELEBRATION? 844 00:35:23,555 --> 00:35:25,324 RECALL? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 845 00:35:25,357 --> 00:35:26,692 WELL, SURELY THERE WILL BE A RECALL AFTER THE GOVERNMENT 846 00:35:26,725 --> 00:35:28,927 RELEASED THE FAILED SAFETY STUDY THIS MORNING. 847 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,696 GOVERNMENT? [ FEEDBACK SQUEALS ] 848 00:35:30,729 --> 00:35:33,165 I NEVER SUBMITTED ANY STUDY TO THE GOVERNMENT. 849 00:35:33,199 --> 00:35:35,334 I NEED THIS EXPEDITED A.S.A.P. 850 00:35:35,367 --> 00:35:37,936 TELL WIGGINS IT'S FOR TRENT HAZLIT, 851 00:35:37,969 --> 00:35:41,407 AND I WANT THE 12-HOUR TURNAROUND FOR POGGIO. 852 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,243 MANUFACTURING LICENSE AND MEDALLION? 853 00:35:44,276 --> 00:35:48,314 IT'S ALL...RIGHT IN THERE. 854 00:35:52,384 --> 00:35:54,686 WANT TO KNOW WHO REGULATES TOY SAFETY IN THIS COUNTRY? 855 00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:56,888 -THE TOY COMPANIES. -WHAT ABOUT GOVERNMENT? 856 00:35:56,922 --> 00:36:00,359 CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY COMMISSION. THEY TRY. 857 00:36:00,392 --> 00:36:02,228 THEY'RE A SOLID GOVERNMENT AGENCY, 858 00:36:02,261 --> 00:36:04,330 BUT SAFETY STUDIES ARE VOLUNTARY, 859 00:36:04,363 --> 00:36:06,632 SO CERTAIN COMPANIES JUST WON'T TAKE THAT RISK 860 00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:08,600 BECAUSE IF A TOY IS FOUND HAZARDOUS, 861 00:36:08,634 --> 00:36:10,168 THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT PUBLIC. 862 00:36:11,370 --> 00:36:12,371 -CAN I HELP YOU? -HI. 863 00:36:12,404 --> 00:36:13,572 I NEED AN EXPEDITED, OVERNIGHT 864 00:36:13,605 --> 00:36:15,241 GOVERNMENT SAFETY INSPECTION OF THIS. 865 00:36:15,274 --> 00:36:16,408 MM-HMM. 866 00:36:16,442 --> 00:36:18,577 RELEVANT FORMS, MY SIGNATURE. 867 00:36:18,610 --> 00:36:20,646 AND MAKE SURE TO RUN IT THROUGH YOUR STRICTEST, 868 00:36:20,679 --> 00:36:22,548 MOST RIGOROUS TESTS. 869 00:36:22,581 --> 00:36:23,649 OKAY. 870 00:36:31,490 --> 00:36:33,692 [ INDISTINCT TALKING ] 871 00:36:33,725 --> 00:36:35,261 EVERYTHING OKAY, CARL? 872 00:36:35,294 --> 00:36:36,828 YOUR CALL SOUNDED LIKE SOMETHING WAS WRONG. 873 00:36:36,862 --> 00:36:38,797 NO, ACTUALLY, A FAN OF MINE SENT ME THIS SAFETY STUDY, 874 00:36:38,830 --> 00:36:40,366 AND I FIND IT VERY ALARMING. 875 00:36:40,399 --> 00:36:42,434 I THINK THAT WE SHOULD GET THIS OUT THERE, 876 00:36:42,468 --> 00:36:44,536 AND WE SHOULD LET THE PARENTS KNOW ABOUT IT. 877 00:36:44,570 --> 00:36:46,505 IS THERE ANY WAY THAT YOU COULD, UH, MAYBE HELP ME WITH THAT? 878 00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:48,340 -OH, MY GOD. -YEAH. 879 00:36:48,374 --> 00:36:50,709 OKAY. WE ARE SO ALL OVER THIS. 880 00:36:50,742 --> 00:36:53,879 -OKAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH. -MM. 881 00:36:56,448 --> 00:36:57,783 WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE? 882 00:36:57,816 --> 00:36:59,385 DO YOU CARE TO COMMENT ON THE RECALL, SIR? 883 00:36:59,418 --> 00:37:00,619 NO, I DON'T CARE TO COMMENT. 884 00:37:00,652 --> 00:37:02,854 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED HERE. 885 00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:04,022 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 886 00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:07,393 I AM GONNA SUE YOUR ASS, HAZLIT! 887 00:37:09,761 --> 00:37:12,331 WHO DID THIS TO ME? 888 00:37:29,781 --> 00:37:32,284 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID IT. 889 00:37:32,318 --> 00:37:35,287 I WISH THERE WERE MORE PEOPLE LIKE YOU OUT THERE. 890 00:37:35,321 --> 00:37:37,356 -YOU DID IT, MR. MARRIS. -YEAH. 891 00:37:37,389 --> 00:37:39,325 WITHOUT YOU, HAZLIT WOULD STILL BE AROUND. 892 00:37:39,358 --> 00:37:40,826 I WAS JUST DOING MY JOB. 893 00:37:40,859 --> 00:37:42,461 WELL, SPEAKING OF JOBS, 894 00:37:42,494 --> 00:37:45,497 THE CHIEF EXAMINER'S LOOKING FOR A NEW ANALYST. 895 00:37:45,531 --> 00:37:46,798 CHIEF EXAMINER? 896 00:37:46,832 --> 00:37:48,767 FOR THE CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY COMMISSION. 897 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:50,736 WHEN HE FOUND OUT THAT HE COULD HIRE THE GUY 898 00:37:50,769 --> 00:37:52,971 THAT TOOK DOWN HAZLIT, HE JUMPED AT IT. 899 00:37:53,004 --> 00:37:55,774 I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. [ LAUGHS ] 900 00:37:55,807 --> 00:37:57,643 [ Laughing ] I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH. 901 00:37:57,676 --> 00:38:00,712 W-- MERRY CHRISTMAS. 902 00:38:02,414 --> 00:38:05,050 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 903 00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:07,719 PROMISE ME THOSE THINGS WILL NEVER HIT STORE SHELVES. 904 00:38:07,753 --> 00:38:09,655 NAH, I'M KEEPING THEM ALL TO MYSELF. 905 00:38:09,688 --> 00:38:11,590 I'VE GOT THEM LINED UP IN MY WAREHOUSE 906 00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:12,958 LIKE AN ARMY OF JOY AND RAGE. 907 00:38:12,991 --> 00:38:15,927 YOU DON'T EVER WANT TO BE IN THAT WAREHOUSE ALONE. 908 00:38:15,961 --> 00:38:17,763 [ CHUCKLES ] EVER. 909 00:38:17,796 --> 00:38:21,967 I THINK IT'S REALLY SAD THAT WE'RE SO CYNICAL ABOUT GIFTS. 910 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:25,904 I USED TO [SIGHS] I LOVED CHRISTMAS AS A CHILD. 911 00:38:25,937 --> 00:38:27,606 YEAH, WELL, NOTHING'S GENUINE ANYMORE. 912 00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:29,675 THAT'S NOT TRUE. NO. I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS. 913 00:38:29,708 --> 00:38:33,612 AND YOU KNOW WHAT IS GENUINE? TRUST. 914 00:38:33,645 --> 00:38:34,746 -TRUST? -YES, TRUST. 915 00:38:34,780 --> 00:38:35,947 [ CHUCKLES ] 916 00:38:35,981 --> 00:38:37,816 I THINK -- NO, SERIOUSLY. 917 00:38:37,849 --> 00:38:41,887 I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE EACH OTHER SOME TRUST FOR CHRISTMAS. 918 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:43,422 WHAT, LIKE THAT WILLOW EXERCISE 919 00:38:43,455 --> 00:38:44,623 WHERE YOU FALL BACK AND SOMEONE CATCHES YOU? 920 00:38:44,656 --> 00:38:46,358 NO, NOT LIKE THAT. 921 00:38:46,392 --> 00:38:48,427 GOOD, BECAUSE I DID THAT ONCE, AND I DROPPED THE PERSON, 922 00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:49,528 AND THEY HAD TO GET STITCHES. 923 00:38:49,561 --> 00:38:50,529 STILL HURTS. 924 00:38:50,562 --> 00:38:52,431 I KNOW. 925 00:38:52,464 --> 00:38:53,865 I JUST THINK THAT, WELL, 926 00:38:53,899 --> 00:38:55,934 WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH TOGETHER, ALL OF US, 927 00:38:55,967 --> 00:38:57,969 AND WE SHOULD GIVE EACH OTHER SOMETHING REALLY PERSONAL THIS YEAR, 928 00:38:58,003 --> 00:39:02,908 LIKE, UM, I DON'T KNOW, A STORY OR A SECRET. 929 00:39:02,941 --> 00:39:04,476 -NO, COME ON. -[ CLEARS THROAT ] 930 00:39:04,510 --> 00:39:06,945 BEAR WITH ME, PLEASE. PLEASE. 931 00:39:06,978 --> 00:39:08,647 WHO'S GONNA GO FIRST? 932 00:39:10,115 --> 00:39:11,683 ELIOT. 933 00:39:11,717 --> 00:39:14,620 ALL RIGHT. 934 00:39:14,653 --> 00:39:17,389 WHEN I WAS A KID... 935 00:39:17,423 --> 00:39:19,625 I WANTED A TRUMPET ONE CHRISTMAS. 936 00:39:19,658 --> 00:39:22,628 [ SIGHS ] 937 00:39:22,661 --> 00:39:25,163 MY FATHER PLAYED SINATRA ALL THE TIME, 938 00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:29,100 AND SINATRA HAD THIS TRUMPET PLAYER NAMED "SWEETS" EDISON -- 939 00:39:29,134 --> 00:39:32,571 HARRY "SWEETS" EDISON. GREAT SOUND -- AMAZING. 940 00:39:32,604 --> 00:39:35,006 I WANTED TO SOUND JUST LIKE HIM, YOU KNOW? 941 00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:38,444 CHRISTMAS ROLLED AROUND, AND, UH, THERE WAS NO TRUMPET -- 942 00:39:38,477 --> 00:39:40,612 JUST A PACK OF, UH, BASEBALL CARDS. 943 00:39:40,646 --> 00:39:42,448 WELL, MY FATHER SAID THAT SANTA 944 00:39:42,481 --> 00:39:44,883 MUST HAVE HAD A ROUGH YEAR AT THE TRACK. 945 00:39:44,916 --> 00:39:45,951 SO, THERE'S... 946 00:39:45,984 --> 00:39:47,986 ANYWAY, A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER, 947 00:39:48,019 --> 00:39:51,490 I WAKE UP IN MY BED, AND AT THE FOOT OF THE BED IS -- 948 00:39:51,523 --> 00:39:52,791 IS A TRUMPET. 949 00:39:52,824 --> 00:39:55,126 I MEAN, IT'S ALL TARNISHED AND DINGED UP -- 950 00:39:55,160 --> 00:40:01,132 MY DAD PROBABLY ROLLED SOMEBODY FOR IT, BUT THERE IT IS. 951 00:40:01,166 --> 00:40:07,873 AND I, UH, I PLAYED THAT TRUMPET EVERY DAY FOR 10 YEARS. 952 00:40:07,906 --> 00:40:09,608 YOU KNOW, I NEVER -- 953 00:40:09,641 --> 00:40:13,779 I NEVER, UH, ENDED UP SOUNDING LIKE "SWEETS" EDISON, 954 00:40:13,812 --> 00:40:16,147 BUT... 955 00:40:16,181 --> 00:40:18,917 SO, I GAVE IT TO, UM, 956 00:40:18,950 --> 00:40:22,220 I GAVE IT TO SAM... 957 00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:25,624 ON HIS 8th BIRTHDAY. 958 00:40:28,259 --> 00:40:31,096 AND THAT WAS, UM... 959 00:40:34,032 --> 00:40:38,770 HIS, UM, FIRST TRUMPET LESSON WAS SCHEDULED FOR THE DAY, 960 00:40:38,804 --> 00:40:42,908 AS IT TURNS OUT, THAT HE WENT INTO THE HOSPITAL. 961 00:40:42,941 --> 00:40:46,011 AND I -- SO, HE... 962 00:40:51,550 --> 00:40:55,220 I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT... 963 00:40:55,253 --> 00:40:58,223 FROM MY CHILDHOOD, BUT I DID KEEP THE TRUMPET. 964 00:40:58,256 --> 00:41:01,159 I KEEP IT ON THE BOAT. 965 00:41:10,636 --> 00:41:12,203 OKAY, WHO'S NEXT? 966 00:41:12,237 --> 00:41:13,539 [ SLURPS ] 967 00:41:13,572 --> 00:41:16,207 [ CLEARS THROAT ]