1 00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:18,419 (door opens, closes) 2 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:25,693 HEY. 3 00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:29,197 EVERYTHING OKAY? 4 00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:32,566 YEAH, DEET SHEET CALLS FOR 500 16 OUNCE CUPS. 5 00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:33,967 SO I'M JUST-- 6 00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:35,969 SO YOU'RE COUNTING THEM? 7 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,471 RON, THEY COME 100 TO A SLEEVE. 8 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:38,706 HERE, HERE'S 200. 9 00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:39,973 YOU GOT 200 THERE, 10 00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:41,309 YOU GOT 100 IN YOUR HAND, YOU'RE ALL SET. 11 00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:42,410 OH RIGHT, HENRY? 12 00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:43,644 YES? 13 00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:47,181 WHEN YOU HAVE AN ORGASM, HOW MUCH STUFF COMES OUT? 14 00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,584 OF YOUR PENIS? 15 00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:55,356 * 16 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,164 (Henry) WELL, WHY COME TO ME WITH THIS? 17 00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:04,598 I MEAN WHY NOT A DOCTOR, 18 00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:07,401 OR CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND- 19 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:08,702 YOU'VE WATCHED PORN, RIGHT? 20 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,004 I'M NOT A CONNOISSEUR OR ANYTHING- 21 00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:13,274 I MEAN, IS THAT NORMAL? 22 00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:14,342 I MEAN, IN BARTENDING TERMS, 23 00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:16,310 YOU KNOW, THESE GUYS EJACULATE LIKE, 24 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,246 A JIGGER FULL. 25 00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:19,747 I USED TO THINK IT WAS TRICK PHOTOGRAPHY, 26 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:23,151 LIKE SOME GUY OFF-CAMERA WITH A SUPER-SOAKER OR SOMETHING, 27 00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:24,285 BUT I'VE STUDIED IT, 28 00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:26,053 YOU KNOW ON DVD YOU CAN SLOW IT DOWN FRAME BY FRAME, 29 00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:28,021 AND UNLESS IT'S CGI, 30 00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:30,458 WHICH I CAN'T IMAGINE THAT THEY HAVE THE BUDGET FOR, 31 00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:32,025 THAT'S A LOT OF EJACULATE. 32 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,026 OR IS IT? 33 00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:34,262 I DON'T KNOW- 34 00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:36,063 I DON'T KNOWN RON, I MEAN I WOULDN'T SWEAT IT. 35 00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:37,431 I NEVER DID. 36 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:38,699 I MEAN SANDY JARRETT USED TO GIVE ME HANDIES 37 00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,234 IN THE SKATELAND PARKING LOT 38 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,035 AND MY STUFF WOULD 39 00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:44,472 HANG RIGHT OFF THE VISOR OF MY CORDOBA. 40 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,640 LATELY I'VE BEEN DATING THIS GIRL, 41 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,809 AND THE LAST TIME, AFTERWARDS, 42 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,444 SHE SAYS TO ME, 43 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,147 "IS THAT ALL?" 44 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:56,584 WELL MAYBE SHE WAS HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS. 45 00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:58,552 SHE SAYS I MUST JERK OFF ALL THE TIME, 46 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,053 BECAUSE I AM COMPLETELY DEPLETED. 47 00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:02,723 I MEAN HENRY, CAN YOU FILL UP A THIMBLE? 48 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,425 BECAUSE, I HAVE TRIED, AND I CANNOT. 49 00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,626 I CAN'T DO IT. 50 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:08,362 OH GOD, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS INFORMATION RON. 51 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,198 IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME? 52 00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:12,800 I THINK SO, YES. 53 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,335 QUITE POSSIBLY- 54 00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:15,869 (phone ringing) 55 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:17,705 KYLE, WHAT'RE-- 56 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:20,208 HEY, OH MAN IT WAS SUCH A LONG NIGHT LAST NIGHT. 57 00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:22,343 I MUST'VE DOZED OFF FOR A SECOND. 58 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:24,478 UM, I'M GONNA GO TO THE VAN, IF YOU GUYS NEED ANYTHING. 59 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:27,515 YOU BETTER NOT BE GOING OUTSIDE TO TAKE THAT CALL. 60 00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:29,617 OKAY BECAUSE I MADE IT SPECIFICALLY CLEAR IN MY E-MAIL 61 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,519 THAT WE'VE BEEN DINGED FOR THE LAST TIME 62 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,387 ON THE COMMENT CARDS ABOUT CELL PHONE USE. 63 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,088 NO, I WAS ACTUALLY GONNA GO OUT 64 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:37,625 AND SEE IF I COULD FIND A GARDEN GNOME FOR YOU TO FUCK. 65 00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:39,293 GET IT? CUZ A GNOME'D BE LIKE, 66 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:42,563 "AH RON, YOU'RE DROWNING ME IN JIZZ--" 67 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,097 THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY. 68 00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:45,466 HEY, HENRY, HERE'S A RIDDLE FOR YOU-- 69 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,768 HOW MANY RONS WOULD IT TAKE TO MAKE A BUKKAKE FILM? 70 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,170 OH YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT'S ENOUGH. 71 00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,505 BOTH OF YOU, OUTSIDE OKAY? 72 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,507 THAT'S IT, AND THAT'S ONE FOR YOU PAL. 73 00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:56,109 (Roman) CORN CHIPS, BEAN DIP. 74 00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:57,177 CHILI DOGS. 75 00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:58,379 JELL-O SHOTS. 76 00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:00,113 IS THIS A WHITE TRASH THEME PARTY 77 00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:01,782 OR ARE WE IN ARKANSAS? 78 00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,517 DON'T BE A SNOB, ROMAN. 79 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,253 DON'T SWIM, FISH. 80 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,120 I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST SIMPLE FOLK. 81 00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:08,389 THIS IS JUST NEED-TO-KNOW INFORMATION. 82 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:11,792 AM I SUPPOSED TO ENJOY THE IRONY OR PITY THE SINCERITY. 83 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,427 WELL IT'S MAKING ME HOMESICK. 84 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,663 THIS IS WHAT A PARTY BACK HOME LOOKED LIKE. 85 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:17,665 WITH FOOD PEOPLE ACTUALLY ENJOY. 86 00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,500 YOU DON'T THINK I HAVE TO BITE MY TONGUE 87 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,134 EVERY TIME I CARRY A TRAY 88 00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,904 WITH SANTA BARBARA GRILLED EEL BEAKS 89 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,407 IN A BABY PINECONE SAUCE- 90 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:27,775 ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP PEOPLE. 91 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:28,809 HAND OVER YOUR CELL PHONES. 92 00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,344 I TRIED TO BE NICE, 93 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:33,681 BUT IT CLEARLY ISN'T EFFECTIVE MANAGEMENT STRATEGY. 94 00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:35,349 SO I'LL HAND THEM OVER AFTER THE EVENT. 95 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:36,584 CHOP SUEY, LET'S GO. 96 00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:37,885 RON YOU CAN HAVE MY PHONE WHEN YOU PRY IT 97 00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:39,820 FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS. 98 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,489 YEAH RON, WHY DON'T WE JUST HAVE EVERYONE 99 00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:43,291 PROMISE NOT TO USE THEM SO MUCH? 100 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:45,426 HE-- OKAY, AS LONG 101 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:46,560 AS I GET EVERYBODY'S WORD. 102 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:47,861 OKAY BECAUSE TODAY COULD BE 103 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,229 A REALLY BIG DAY FOR US. 104 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,299 WE COULD BE ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. 105 00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:52,400 WHAT? 106 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,434 OH THAT'S AWESOME. 107 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:54,702 EXPLAIN THAT. 108 00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,570 UH, THIS IS THE HOME OF COLE LANDRY 109 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,272 AND IT'S DRAFT DAY, 110 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,173 WHEN ALL HIS DREAMS COME TRUE. 111 00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:02,910 WAIT, WHAT DUDE'S DREAM IS TO GET SENT TO AFGHANISTAN? 112 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:05,313 COLE LANDRY? 113 00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,848 HOLDS EVERY PAC 10 PASSING RECORD. 114 00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,250 HE'S A QUARTERBACK. 115 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,520 IN FOOTBALL. 116 00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:16,390 THEY GET DRAFTED, AND THEN PLAY PROFESSIONALLY. 117 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,628 DO ANY OF YOU EVEN LIVE IN AMERICA? 118 00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:23,964 AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO'S EVER BEEN IN A CHAMPS? 119 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,500 GOOD GRAVY! 120 00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:29,703 ALL RIGHT, SO HERE'S THE DEAL. 121 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,773 COLE'S FAMILY AND HIS TEAMMATES WILL BE HERE, 122 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,975 OKAY, THERE'S GOING TO BE A TV FILM CREW PROVIDING 123 00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:37,578 "LIVE FEED" FOR THE MINUTE HE GETS PICKED, 124 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:38,579 OKAY, SO-- 125 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,213 LET'S LEAVE A GOOD IMPRESSION. 126 00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:41,949 YES, KYLE. 127 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:45,218 OH GREAT, A HOUSE FULL OF NECK-LESS MUTANTS. 128 00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:46,854 UH-OH, HIGH SCHOOL FLASHBACKS? 129 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,589 ARE THESE THE GUYS WHO GAVE YOU WEDGIES? 130 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:49,623 NO. SWIRLIES? 131 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,492 FUCK OFF. NOOGIES? 132 00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:52,493 PANTSED? 133 00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:53,827 FART-FACED? 134 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,799 NO, I DON'T FEAR THESE MORONS, I PITY THEM. 135 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,300 I MEAN IN THE REAL WORLD, 136 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,235 THE ONLY THING THIRTY-SIX INCH THIGHS GETS YOU 137 00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:05,839 IS SPECIALLY MADE GYM TEACHER SHORTS AND 30 GRAND A YEAR- 138 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,508 AND REALLY HOT CHICKS- 139 00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,377 UH NO, CASEY WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING TO MATE, 140 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,379 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GIANT, BULGING IDIOT 141 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:12,713 OR SOMEONE WITH SOME INTELLIGENCE? 142 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,448 GIANT BULGING IDIOT. BOOM. 143 00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:15,883 RIGHT SO YOU WANT A GUY THAT'S GONNA KEEL OVER 144 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,951 AND CRUSH YOU FROM A HEART ATTACK AT 50 145 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:18,952 FROM EATING ALL THIS SHIT. 146 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,754 I DO, I WANNA BE CRUSHED BENEATH HIM, 147 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:22,289 MY HUGE, FAT HUSBAND. 148 00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:23,424 'COURSE YOU WANT THAT 149 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,626 'CAUSE YOU'RE DATING A WHOPPING 90 POUNDER. 150 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:26,860 HEY. 151 00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:29,530 YOU ARE A RUNTY LITTLE PUPPY. 152 00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,331 THANKS. 153 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:34,968 OW, DAMMIT. 154 00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:37,438 LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT, SIR. 155 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:39,540 OH THIS DAMN HAND. 156 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,510 YOU SHOULD SEE THE TABLE SAW THOUGH. 157 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,646 GOOD ONE. 158 00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,915 OKAY WHAT YOU WANNA DO IS LINE IT UP- 159 00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,852 THAT'S THE SEXIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN. 160 00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:54,822 HEY NOW, DON'T YOU GO AND SPEAK TOO SOON. 161 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,894 OKAY, I STAND CORRECTED THERE. 162 00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:02,563 HI, I'M BILL. 163 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:03,564 I'M LYDIA. 164 00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:04,932 WELL, OH-- 165 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:06,700 HEY DAD! 166 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,302 WHICH ONE OF THESE SHOULD I WEAR ON TV? 167 00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:12,840 MAN, I-- RIANNA WOULD KNOW. 168 00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:14,542 SHE'S GONE, DAD. 169 00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:15,543 YOU NEED TO MOVE ON. 170 00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:16,610 WE TALKED ABOUT THIS. 171 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:17,911 HEY, NOW! 172 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:19,813 WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE!? 173 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:20,848 THERE'S MY FAVORITE AGENT! 174 00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,315 ALL RIGHT, COLE. 175 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:23,784 SAY IT LOUD, AND SAY IT PROUD. 176 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,786 "I WANNA PLAY IN SUNNY TAMPA BAY." 177 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:26,954 TAMPA BAY! 178 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,322 YEAH, LET'S DO THIS! COME ON. CAMERAS ARE COMING. 179 00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,459 (sportscaster) BUT I HAVE TO SAY, THERE IS NOT A LOT OF DRAMA 180 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:32,826 IN THE FOURTH PICK. 181 00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,428 TAMPA BAY NEEDS A QUARTERBACK, 182 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,464 AND THERE'S NO SIGNAL CALLER HIGHER 183 00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:38,031 ON THE DRAFT BOARD THAN COLE LANDRY. 184 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,601 IN LANDRY, YOU GET NOT JUST A STARTING QUARTERBACK, 185 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,069 THEY GET THE FACE OF THE FRANCHISE TOO. 186 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,872 ALL RIGHT, WHEN COLE IS PICKED, WE'RE CUTTING IN LIVE. 187 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,574 HEY. HEY. 188 00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,876 ROW OF JAEGER SHOTS PLEASE, BARKEEP. 189 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,844 SO I THINK I TOTALLY GET IT NOW. 190 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,480 FINALLY YOU GET IT. 191 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:53,981 WHAT, WHAT DO YOU GET? 192 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,749 YOUR BIG APATOW MOVIE PREMIERE. 193 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,651 UH-HUH. COMING UP. 194 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,052 THERE'RE GONNA BE A LOT OF HEAVY HITTERS THERE- 195 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,688 YEAH, I'LL SAY. 196 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,022 A WHO'S WHO OF THE COMEDY WORLD, 197 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,090 UH-HUH. 198 00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,758 AND YOU'RE GONNA BE MINGLING WITH THEM. 199 00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:07,628 I MIGHT DO A LITTLE MINGLING, SURE. 200 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:08,829 SURE. OKAY. 201 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:09,830 SO GOOD, YOU GET IT THEN. 202 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:10,898 I TOTALLY GET IT. 203 00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:12,500 WELL I DO NOT GET IT, EVEN A LITTLE BIT. 204 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,034 WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? 205 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:17,104 I MEAN, I GET WHY I'M NOT YOUR PLUS-ONE. 206 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:20,107 I SEE. 207 00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:21,675 UH-HUH. I SEE. 208 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,076 SEE IF I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY 209 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,646 TO REALLY GET IN THERE AND DO SOME NETWORKING, 210 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,447 I PROBABLY WOULDN'T WANT TO BRING 211 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,916 WITH A CAUTIONARY TALE ON MY ARM EITHER. 212 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,485 MAN WELL, THIS IS A HUGE RELIEF FOR ME. 213 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:32,920 OH GOOD, GOOD. 214 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:36,423 'CAUSE HONESTLY, I'VE REHEARSED THE YOU-EMBARRASS-ME SPEECH 215 00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:39,627 LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES IN MY HEAD PROBABLY, 216 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,529 BUT I DON'T EVEN NEED TO DO IT, 'CAUSE YOU GET IT. 217 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:42,530 I GET IT. 218 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:43,931 THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU SUCH A COOL GUY. 219 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,800 THANKS. I MEAN NOT ARM-CANDY COOL OBVIOUSLY, 220 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,669 BUT FUCK BUDDY COOL. 221 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:49,903 OKAY. 222 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,641 NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER. 223 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:56,877 YEAH, BUDDY. 224 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:57,878 I BEEN THERE. 225 00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,112 BEEN WHERE? 226 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,548 THERE. 227 00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,616 THAT PLACE WHERE THE PERSON YOU WANNA BE WITH 228 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,418 NIGHT AND DAY ONLY WANTS TO BE WITH YOU 229 00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:06,954 WHEN THERE'S NO ONE ELSE AROUND. 230 00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:09,990 ALL RIGHT YEAH, WELL THAT'S NOT OUR SITUATION- 231 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,526 DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, BROTHER. 232 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:14,695 (groans) 233 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,830 SO TAMPA PASSES ON COLE LANDRY. 234 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:17,831 ARE YOU SURPRISED? 235 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:18,999 (draft expert) I'M SHOCKED. 236 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,000 I MEAN WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING THROUGH 237 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,434 LANDRY'S HEAD RIGHT NOW? 238 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,103 HE PROBABLY FALLS TO PHILLY AT EIGHT 239 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,939 AND TEN MILLION DOLLARS FLIES OUT THE WINDOW. 240 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,454 RON. HEY. 241 00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:44,124 OKAY SO MY BAND GOT A SLOT ON AN INDUSTRY SHOWCASE TONIGHT. 242 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,225 OH! YEAH. 243 00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,560 SO IS IT COOL IF I JUST LIKE LEAVE 244 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:47,595 A LITTLE BIT EARLY OR WHATEVER? 245 00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:48,862 OH, SHOOT. 246 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:49,897 NOT CHANCE TO GET BACK UP. 247 00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:50,998 YOU SHOULD'VE ASKED ME EARLIER. 248 00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,099 I DIDN'T KNOW EARLIER. 249 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,100 OH REALLY? 250 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,802 HOW'D YOU FIND OUT THEN? 251 00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:57,971 CARRIER PIGEON, RON. 252 00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,473 YEAH, YEAH A CARRIER PIGEON LANDED IN THE BACK YARD. 253 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:01,709 YOU KNOW, WITH THE LITTLE NOTE ON HIS FOOT 254 00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,476 WITH ALL THE INFORMATION. 255 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:04,712 IT WAS GREAT, CAN YOU BELIEVE HE FOUND ME? 256 00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:05,879 WOW, NO YOU WERE ON THE PHONE! 257 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,147 I SAW IT, SO-- 258 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,548 OKAY, YEAH I WAS ON THE PHONE. 259 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,217 RIGHT SO SORRY, KYLE, ONLY EMPLOYEES 260 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,752 WHO FOLLOW THE RULES GET REWARDED. 261 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:12,753 WHAT? 262 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:14,021 YOU HEARD ME. 263 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:16,857 WHAT THE FUCK? 264 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,628 YEAH I PUT EVERYTHING INTO THIS. 265 00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:23,263 I TURNED DOWN WORK SO I COULD COACH MY SON. 266 00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:24,531 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? 267 00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:26,499 COLE'S MOTHER NEVER UNDERSTOOD IT, 268 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,936 SHE-- SHE WANTED A BIGGER HOUSE. 269 00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,170 COME ON. 270 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,906 SHE CALLED ME A PISS-POOR PROVIDER AND WALKED OUT. 271 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,642 OH YOU POOR GUY. 272 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:35,643 EH. 273 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:39,647 SO COLE'S MOM, THAT'S RIANNA? 274 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:41,782 NO, NO, NO RIANNA IS MY EX-GIRLFRIEND. 275 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:42,783 OH. 276 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,151 SHE WAS JUST BAD NEWS. 277 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,754 BIG SPOILED BRAT. 278 00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:49,657 SHE WAS TOO YOUNG AND PRETTY FOR ME, ANYWAY. 279 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,259 OH COME ON. FUCK. 280 00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:56,229 MAN, RON IS BEING SUCH A DICK, AGAIN. 281 00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,665 OH NEXT YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THERE ARE BEARS 282 00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,066 DEFECATING IN THE WOODS. 283 00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:00,100 NO CHECK THIS OUT, 284 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,835 MY BAND JUST GOT A LAST-MINUTE INDUSTRY SLOT 285 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:02,870 AT THE RAINBOW ROOM, 286 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:03,871 AND HE WON'T LET ME LEAVE 287 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:04,872 LIKE JUST A LITTLE BIT EARLY TO MAKE IT. 288 00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:06,674 OH, NO! THIS WAS THE BIG NIGHT 289 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:07,908 YOU GUYS WERE GONNA GET YOUR RECORD DEAL! 290 00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:08,976 YEAH, MAYBE. 291 00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:11,812 FUCK, DO THEY SUPER-GLUE THIS BITCH ON? 292 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,181 LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT, LITTLE BUDDY. 293 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,049 IT'S NOT EASY. 294 00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:18,986 WHOA, LOOKS LIKE HE REALLY STRUGGLED WITH THAT, 295 00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:20,087 LITTLE BUDDY. 296 00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:21,989 WELL I LOOSENED IT, YOU DICK. 297 00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:23,657 HEY WE ALL HAVE OUR TALENTS, RIGHT? 298 00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:24,658 I GUESS. 299 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:25,726 YEAH, WHILE YOU WERE BUSY 300 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:29,663 OPENING JARS AND PUSHING A BLOCKING SLED AROUND, 301 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,598 I WAS READING LITERATURE. 302 00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:33,166 AH, A MAN OF LETTERS! 303 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,702 I'M A BIT OF A BOOK BUFF MYSELF. 304 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:35,703 WHO ARE YOU INTO? 305 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:36,704 HEINLEIN. 306 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:37,738 ASIMOV. 307 00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:38,739 CLARKE, YOU PROBABLY HAVEN'T HEARD OF THEM. 308 00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,073 SCI-FI MAN. 309 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,074 NO, I LOVE HEINLEIN. 310 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,176 STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND. 311 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:44,712 WHAT ABOUT BRADBURY? 312 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,613 I'M A LITTLE LUKEWARM ON FAHRENHEIT 451, 313 00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:48,615 BUT MARTIAN CHRONICLES, COME ON? 314 00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:50,117 ARE THE BEST! 315 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,120 I HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO IT YET- 316 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,155 I'M BUSY, I'M REALLY BUSY THOUGH. 317 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:56,990 YEAH, NOT REALLY A BIG ASIMOV GUY; 318 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,727 I MEAN, I'LL GIVE HIM THE THREE LAWS OF ROBOTICS BUT, 319 00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,061 HE'S MID-LIST. 320 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,964 WHICH IS IRONIC, BECAUSE I LOVE THE RUSSIANS. 321 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,132 DOSTOEVSKY. 322 00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:06,133 GOGOL. 323 00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:07,134 CHECKOV- 324 00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:08,869 OH ROMAN'S SUPER INTO CHECKOV. 325 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,103 YEAH AND SULU- 326 00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:11,271 MORON. 327 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,006 AND THAT'S NOT IRONY. 328 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,274 LOT OF PEOPLE MAKE THAT MISTAKE-- 329 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,343 YOU, ALANIS MORISSETTE-- 330 00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:20,180 YOU SAY "IRONIC" WHEN YOU REALLY MEAN HAPPENSTANCE. 331 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,214 FOR INSTANCE- THANKS. 332 00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:22,883 I COULD REALLY USE A LESSON ON IRONY. 333 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,118 PERFECT, HERE YOU GO. 334 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,654 IRONY IS WHEN YOU SAY ONE THING, 335 00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,790 BUT YOU MEAN THE OPPOSITE. 336 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,258 FOR EXAMPLE- 337 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,393 I COULD STAND HERE ALL NIGHT AND SOAK UP THIS KNOWLEDGE. 338 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,095 YOU INTERRUPTED ME. 339 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,830 I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF TELLING YOU WHAT IRONY IS. 340 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:40,267 AND THEN IF-- OH OKAY, I GOTCHA. 341 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,268 WHAT JUST HAPPENED? 342 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,669 VERY GOOD. 343 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:45,839 YOU MUST BE THE ONLY FOOTBALL-PLAYING LIT MAJOR EVER. 344 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:46,840 NO. 345 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:47,841 I'M PRE-MED. 346 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,309 YOU'RE PRE-MED? 347 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:50,944 YEAH. 348 00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:55,082 I DON'T LIKE THE TERM "STAGE MOM." 349 00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:56,884 ESCAPADE IS MY TEAMMATE. 350 00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:59,052 YEAH PEOPLE USED TO YELL AT ME ALL THE TIME. 351 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:02,689 "BILL, LET THE KID HAVE A CHILDHOOD." 352 00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:06,693 "NO FIVE-YEAR-OLD NEEDS TO RUN TIRE DRILLS IN JULY." 353 00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:08,061 NO SEVEN-YEAR-OLD NEEDS 354 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,663 TO HAVE PERMANENT EYE-LINER TATTOOED ON, EITHER. 355 00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:11,932 THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S A BAD IDEA. 356 00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:13,666 EXACTLY, EXACTLY. 357 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:14,968 OH HEY, TIME OUT, COME ON. 358 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,369 HEY, HEY IT'S PHILLY'S PICK. 359 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:17,871 (sportscaster) WITH THE EIGHTH PICK, 360 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,440 PHILADELPHIA SELECTS OFFENSIVE LINEMAN JAKE KUPP 361 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:21,942 OUT OF WASHINGTON. 362 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:24,277 WE TURN OUR ATTENTION NOW TO A STAR OF DETROIT 363 00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,379 AND FOR THEM DEFENSE IS THE NAME OF THE GAME. 364 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,681 HERE'S HOW IT'S REALLY GONNA GO PHIL. 365 00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,083 VODKA. 366 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,052 HE'S GONNA PLAY YOU TWICE A YEAR IN DIVISION, 367 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,220 HE'S GONNA WHIP YOUR SORRY ASS, 368 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,922 AND THEN WHEN THEY CARVE YOUR TOMBSTONE, 369 00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:36,423 IT'S GONNNA READ "HERE LIES THE DUMBFUCK 370 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:40,293 WHO PASSED ON HALL-OF-FAME QUARTERBACK COLE LANDRY--" 371 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:42,963 COULD YOU PLEASE TELL MY WIFE IF SHE LOVED ME, 372 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,332 SHE WOULDN'T CALL ME ON THIS DAY. 373 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,434 HE'S GONNA POP OUT YOUR EYEBALL AND SKULL FUCK YOU, PHIL. 374 00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,702 HOW ABOUT THAT? 375 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,839 NO, NO SWEETIE, GET YOUR DADDY ON THE PHONE, NO-- 376 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:52,873 EXCUSE ME, SORRY. 377 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,942 A HAMSTER BIT ONE OF YOUR KIDS 378 00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:55,943 AND YOUR WIFE WANTS TO KNOW IF SHE SHOULD 379 00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:56,944 BRING HIM TO THE HOSPITAL. 380 00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:57,945 WHICH ONE? 381 00:12:58,045 --> 00:12:59,212 WHICH ONE, HE WANTS-- 382 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:00,213 FUDDRUCKER. 383 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:01,915 JESUS FUCK--WHICH KID? 384 00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,116 HOLD ON. 385 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:06,019 HONEY, I LOVE YOU BUT FUCK YOU FOR CALLING ON DRAFT DAY. 386 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:07,921 HI. 387 00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,722 REFILL? 388 00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,124 WHY THE FUCK NOT? 389 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,862 ALL RIGHT, HERE'S SOMETHING I DON'T GET. 390 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:18,731 YOU ARE LIKE THIS BIG COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYER, RIGHT? 391 00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:21,034 SO WHAT GIRL WOULDN'T WANT TO BE SEEN WITH YOU? 392 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,302 HOW WOULD YOUR PARENTS REACT 393 00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,371 IF THEY FOUND OUT YOU WERE SPORT FUCKING A LARGE BLACK MAN? 394 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,539 THEY'D SAY IT EXPLAINS A LOT. 395 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:31,411 LOOK ALL I AM IS SOME SORT OF SEXUAL CARNIVAL RIDE, 396 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:32,579 YOU KNOW? 397 00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,215 SO, YOU AND YOUR LADY-- 398 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,184 I SAW HOW SHE'S ICING YOU OUT. 399 00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,020 DO YOU LOVE HER? 400 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,958 THE-- WHAT? 401 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:47,928 HEY BUDDY. 402 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,162 YOU GOTTA MOMENT? 403 00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:50,330 AH, YES OF COURSE. 404 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,132 WHAT CAN HELP YOU WITH? 405 00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,367 UM ACTUALLY, I JUST STARTED RESIDENCY, 406 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:55,435 WONDERFUL. 407 00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:56,469 AND I WAS TALKING TO YOUR FRIEND OVER THERE 408 00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:59,239 ABOUT YOUR HEALTH CONCERNS, 409 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,473 AND IT REMINDED ME OF THIS PATIENT- 410 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:01,942 WAIT A MINUTE. 411 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:03,176 WHAT FRIEND? 412 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:04,978 OH UH, THAT GUY. 413 00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,347 OH, HENRY. 414 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,050 SO HE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF MY... 415 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,051 EJACULATE. 416 00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,219 YES. YES. 417 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,121 AND IT REMINDED ME OF THIS PATIENT WHO CAME IN, 418 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:17,490 AND SAID THAT HE WAS PRODUCING LIMITED REPRODUCTIVE MATERIAL. 419 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,092 WE BROUGHT HIM IN THE OFFICE, 420 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,327 TOOK DOWN HIS PANTS FOR AN EXAM, 421 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:23,863 AND HE HAD TESTICLES THE SIZE OF CHRISTMAS HAMS. 422 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,465 CHRISTMAS HAMS? 423 00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:29,102 MY CONCERN IS YOU'RE PRESENTING ACUTE BACTERIAL PROSTATITIS: 424 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,338 IT'S AN INFECTION OF THE PROSTATE 425 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:32,805 THAT CAUSES INFLAMMATION 426 00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:35,108 AND CAN LEAD TO CYSTITIS, 427 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,410 AND IN SOME INSTANCES, PROSTATE CANCER. 428 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,981 BALL CANCER. 429 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,549 PROSTATE CANCER. 430 00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,417 RIGHT, WHICH IS THE MEDICAL TERM FOR BALLS? 431 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:45,485 LIKE IN LATIN? 432 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,254 DIFFERENT GLAND ENTIRELY. 433 00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,822 BUT WHAT I SUGGEST YOU DO IS WHEN YOU GO HOME, 434 00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,358 HAVE A GOOD NIGHT'S REST, 435 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:52,960 SHAVE YOUR TESTICULAR AREA, 436 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:55,195 CALL YOUR PHYSICIAN FIRST THING 437 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:56,463 AND TELL HIM THAT YOU URGENTLY 438 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,966 NEED YOUR BALLS PULLED AND PALPATED. 439 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,400 PULLED AND PALPATED- 440 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,368 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 441 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,236 IT'S TECHNICAL PROCEDURE, HE'LL KNOW. 442 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:04,871 BUT GO. 443 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:06,373 'CAUSE MY CONCERN IS THAT THIS COULD LEAD TO SOMETHING 444 00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,208 DEADLY SERIOUS. 445 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,110 THANK YOU. 446 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,911 NO PROBLEM. 447 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,681 OH UM, I'M SORRY, SORRY. 448 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,384 WHEN YOU SAID YOUR PATIENT PRODUCED 449 00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:19,319 "LIMITED REPRODUCTIVE MATERIAL." 450 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,954 SO, HOW MUCH IS LIMITED? 451 00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,056 BALL PARK? 452 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,226 SO THE BIG MYSTERY OF THE DAY 453 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:29,629 IS WHY COLE LANDRY CONTINUES TO SLIDE. 454 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,198 I'VE JUST SPOKEN TO SOMEONE HIGH UP 455 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:33,866 IN ONE OF THE ORGANIZATIONS THAT PASSED ON LANDRY, 456 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:36,369 AND THEY HAVE CONFIRMED THAT THIS IS THE REASON 457 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:37,937 THEY CHOSE NOT TO DRAFT HIM. 458 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,872 WHAT WE'RE HEARING IS THAT MANY ORGANIZATIONS 459 00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:43,343 HAVE BECOME CONVINCED THAT COLE LANDRY IS GAY. 460 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,178 THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT! 461 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,547 OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF REPORTING IS THIS? 462 00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:49,149 MY SOURCE TELLS ME THAT IF IT WAS ANY OTHER POSITION, 463 00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:50,417 THEY WOULDN'T CARE. 464 00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:53,120 BUT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE FACE OF THE FRANCHISE. 465 00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,988 FUCKING SHIT. 466 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,089 YOU KNOW ME. 467 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,390 I GET SO MUCH PUSSY, IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY. 468 00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:58,425 NOT EVEN A JOKE. 469 00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,360 YOU'RE THE KING OF PUSSY, I KNOW OKAY! 470 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,895 THIS IS FUCKING ROSENHAUS OKAY? 471 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,597 HE WANTED HIS KID TO BE THE FIRST QB DRAFTED 472 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:05,898 YOU KNOW WHAT, 473 00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,900 THAT GEL-HAIRED SCUM-FUCKER IS FUCKING US. 474 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,436 MAYBE WE SHOULD'VE GONE WITH ROSENHAUS, COLE. 475 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:10,970 WE'RE FAMILY. 476 00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,473 ASK THE BOOSTER GIRLS HOW GAY I AM. 477 00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,908 HEY, HEY GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN! 478 00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,910 HEY TIME OUT! 479 00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:18,911 PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER! 480 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,047 COLE, YOU'RE A QUARTERBACK. 481 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,081 SHOW SOME POISE. 482 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:22,382 NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME. 483 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,317 EVERY ROUND WE'RE LOSING A HALF MILLION DOLLARS. 484 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,586 SO LET'S STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH PUSSY WE'RE GETTING 485 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,321 OF COURSE YOU'RE GETTING A LOT OF PUSS, 486 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,124 LET'S GET OUR SHIT TOGETHER AND COME UP WITH A PLAN! 487 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:35,962 WELL, THE CELEBRATION HAS OFFICIALLY TURNED INTO A WAKE. 488 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,330 HEY, SO HOW COME YOU'RE NOT TAKING YOUR BOY HERE 489 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,099 TO YOUR BIG MOVIE PREMIERE? 490 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,668 CUZ HE AIN'T PRETTY ENOUGH? 491 00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,103 CUZ HE AIN'T TALL? 492 00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,505 CUZ HE'S WORKIN' SOME SHIT JOB, IS THAT IT? 493 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:48,408 WOW, THAT IS AN IMPRESSIVE LIST OF REASONS. 494 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,510 HE HAS FEELINGS FOR YOU, GIRL. 495 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,445 DEEP FEELINGS. 496 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,482 MAYBE HE'S NOT SURE IT'S LOVE, 497 00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,317 BUT HIS SHIT RUNS DEEP. 498 00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,152 UH WELL JEROME, CASEY. 499 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:00,620 CASEY, JEROME. 500 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,721 IS THAT TRUE HENRY? 501 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,256 DOES YOUR SHIT RUN DEEP? 502 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:06,159 WELL ISN'T IT ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT MY SHIT RUNS AT ALL? 503 00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:09,562 WELL JEROME, I AM NOT TAKING HENRY TO MY PREMIERE 504 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,198 BECAUSE I'M TAKING MY MOTHER. 505 00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,200 BUT YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE YOUR MOTHER. 506 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,601 I KNOW THAT I DON'T LIKE MY MOTHER, 507 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,137 BUT SHE ALWAYS REFERS TO MY CAREER 508 00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:19,072 AS "THAT LITTLE THING THAT YOU DO" 509 00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:21,074 SO THIS IS LIKE MY ONLY CHANCE 510 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:24,611 TO RUB HER NOSE IN WHATEVER TINY BIT OF SUCCESS I HAVE. 511 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,413 SO WHY YOU NOT TAKING HENRY TO YOUR COMEDY SHOWS? 512 00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:27,414 OH JESUS DUDE. 513 00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:28,648 WOW, THAT WAS-- 514 00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,218 OKAY UH, I DON'T TAKE HENRY TO MY COMEDY SHOWS 515 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:35,054 BECAUSE I DO A SKIT WHERE I GET KIND OF FRIENDLY 516 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:39,426 WITH ANOTHER GUY, AND HENRY GETS KINDA JEALOUS SOMETIMES. 517 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,428 WELL COME ON, I MEAN, I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 518 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,663 STAGE KISSING AND REAL LIFE. 519 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:44,697 I MEAN I WAS AN ACTOR. 520 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:47,066 ACTUALLY I PLAY AN ANIMATRONIC LOVE DOLL 521 00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,536 AND THE AUDIENCE HAS TO LIKE SHOUT OUT SUGGESTIONS 522 00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:53,039 FOR MY QUADRIPLEGIC INVENTOR TO ORDER ME TO DO. 523 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,274 WELL-- 524 00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:55,475 YOU ALL RIGHT? 525 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,743 YOU LOOK A LITTLE BOTHERED BY THAT. 526 00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,010 NOT AT ALL. 527 00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,247 I MEAN MAYBE BY THE LOGIC I'M BOTHERED. 528 00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:02,115 I MEAN, HOW DID HE BUILD YOU? 529 00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:03,450 I MEAN OBVIOUSLY NOT YOUR INVENTOR 530 00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:04,451 'CAUSE HE'S QUADRIPLEGIC 531 00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:05,452 AND DON'T SAY BY ANOTHER ROBOT 532 00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:06,453 'CAUSE THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 533 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:07,454 YEAH, NOT BOTHERED AT ALL. 534 00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:08,788 SEE, HE'S FINE WITH IT. 535 00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:10,357 I AM-- I MEAN I GET IT, 'CAUSE IT'S A JOB 536 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:11,358 SO I UNDERSTAND. 537 00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,426 CASEY, CASEY, EXCITING OPPORTUNITY. 538 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,562 THEY'RE JUST ABOUT TO CUT TO A LIVE FEED 539 00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:19,065 FROM RIGHT HERE IN THIS LIVING ROOM IN LIKE TEN MINUTES. 540 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,700 NOW, WITH THAT INFORMATION, 541 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,069 AND KNOWING HOW MUCH THE CAMERA LOVES YOU, 542 00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:27,073 HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT SNUGGLING UP 543 00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:29,776 TO COLE LANDRY AND PRETENDING 544 00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:31,378 THAT YOU'RE HIS GIRLFRIEND? 545 00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:35,081 I WOULD FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT, PROBABLY. 546 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:38,285 WOULD YOU FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT FOR 500 SCHMACKERS. 547 00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:40,487 OH, WELL THEN I WOULD FEEL LIKE A WHORE. 548 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:41,721 HEY, LANGUAGE CASEY. 549 00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,055 YOU'RE A GIRL. 550 00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:45,458 NOW LISTEN TO ME, COLE LANDRY IS LOSING 551 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:46,759 HALF MILLION DOLLARS 552 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,195 WITH EVERY PICK OF THE DRAFT 553 00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:51,130 AND ALL BECAUSE OF SOME HORRIBLE RUMOR. 554 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:53,333 COULD YOU FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO HELP THIS KID OUT? 555 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,367 SO THAT'S A JOB. 556 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,568 THAT'S INCOME. YES. 557 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,704 HENRY, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT? 558 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,105 IF I GET PAID? YEAH, THAT'S GREAT. 559 00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:00,340 GREAT? YEAH, TERRIFIC. 560 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,342 AWESOME. HEY LET'S GET YOU INTO A PUSH UP BRA. 561 00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:03,376 OKAY. COME ON. 562 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,377 THAT'S GREAT? 563 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:08,615 COME ON MAN, GROW SOME BALLS PLEASE. 564 00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:17,424 JESUS, YOU LIGHT A MATCH? 565 00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:19,592 OH, OOOH. 566 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,127 THIS COULD BE GOOD. 567 00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:23,162 OH GOD, WHO USED TO LIVE HERE? 568 00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:24,163 TANYA TUCKER? 569 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:26,165 TANYA TUCKER, I WISH. 570 00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:28,601 NO, BILL'S EX RIANNA. 571 00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:32,305 CASEY, YOU'VE GOT SUCH A DARLING LITTLE FIGURE. 572 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:33,306 WHY DON'T YOU SHOW IT OFF? 573 00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:34,507 I DO SHOW IT OFF, 574 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,644 I WEAR PASTIES AND TASSELS LIKE ALL THE TIME 575 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:38,645 WHEN I'M NOT AT WORK. 576 00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:39,879 HE LOOK, I FOUND IT. 577 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,113 THIS IS THE WINNER! 578 00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:42,114 ARE YOU CRAZY? 579 00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,783 THINK OF IT AS AN ACTING ASSIGNMENT. 580 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:44,784 YOU'RE PLAYING A BIMBO. 581 00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,118 OOOH CHA CHA! 582 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,654 YEAH, BIMBO WITH A HEART OF GOLD. 583 00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:49,322 DATING THE CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM. 584 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,757 OKAY, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? 585 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,725 SERIOUSLY, DO YOU HAVE A THING FOR THE KID'S DAD? 586 00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:54,327 IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS. 587 00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:57,597 OH CASEY, I THINK THE DAD MIGHT HAVE A THING FOR ME. 588 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:58,798 UH-HUH. 589 00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:01,468 AND YOU KNOW, THE REST OF IT WILL TAKE CARE OF ITSELF. 590 00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:06,706 YOU TELL ME TO EXPRESS MYSELF AND DEMAND RESPECT, 591 00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:11,177 WHEN RIGHT HERE MAN, WITH ME WATCHING YOU, 592 00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:13,346 YOU JUST ROLL OVER WHEN YOUR WOMAN- 593 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,983 WELL, LOOK AT HER... 594 00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:20,186 OH MY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT. 595 00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:21,721 I AM A PUSSY- 596 00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,690 NO, NO, NO, NO YOU'RE CUT OFF. 597 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:24,791 I MEAN WHENEVER ANYBODY HAS SUCCESS 598 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:25,792 THEY ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY-- 599 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:26,826 EXCUSE ME. 600 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,261 CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR ONE SECOND? 601 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:30,597 YEAH EXCUSE ME, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU BUDDY? 602 00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,367 I WAS HOPING MAYBE YOU COULD TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 603 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:38,705 WHAT EXACTLY AM I LOOKING AT HERE? 604 00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:40,940 (sportscaster) YOU'VE HEARD THE RUMORS, WHAT IS IT YOU WANNA SAY? 605 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,575 I DON'T KNOW WHO LAUGHED HARDER 606 00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,243 WHEN I HEARD PEOPLE THOUGHT I WAS GAY, 607 00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,245 ME OR MY GIRLFRIEND, CASEY. 608 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:51,183 ME, OH MY GOD, I GET SO MAD AT THIS GUY, 609 00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:53,920 BECAUSE EVERY TIME A PRETTY GIRL WALKS BY, HE'S LIKE- 610 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,823 AND JUST LOOKS AT HER. 611 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,958 ALL THE TIME, I'M LIKE WHAT THE F? 612 00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:01,394 CODY, YOU HORN DOG, I'M RIGHT HERE. 613 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:03,330 I'M SORRY, WHO'S CODY? 614 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,398 (Ziggy) IS THIS YOUR SPERM IN MY HAND? 615 00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:08,401 IT'S JUST A NICKNAME. 616 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:09,736 (Ziggy) DID YOU JUST JACK OFF? 617 00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:13,473 SHE THINKS I THROW LIKE CODY CARLSON. 618 00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:14,474 YEAH, HE DOES. 619 00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:15,708 YOU DO. I DO. 620 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:18,345 WARREN MOON'S BACKUP WITH THE OILERS IN THE 90s? 621 00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:21,614 YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S THE GUY I THROW LIKE, FOR SURE. 622 00:21:21,714 --> 00:21:23,316 YEAH, LOOK AT THE TAPE. 623 00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:24,551 SHE'S QUITE A STUDENT OF THE GAME. 624 00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:25,552 YEAH. 625 00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:26,753 (Ziggy) I DON'T CARE! 626 00:21:26,853 --> 00:21:29,589 YOU JUST PUT YOUR JIZZ IN MY HAND BRO! 627 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:30,957 SOMETHING GOING ON THERE? 628 00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:32,925 AH WELL, IT'S A PARTY. 629 00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:34,361 YOU KNOW, PARTIES GET ROWDY- 630 00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:36,228 YEAH, PARTY! 631 00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:38,898 (Ziggy) IT'S FUCKIN' JIZZ, IS WHY! 632 00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:40,533 COLE, I'M WONDERING IF YOU CAN COMMENT 633 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,602 ON THIS PHOTO THAT'S BEEN CIRCULATING. 634 00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:44,871 IT'S NOW POSTED ON DEADSPIN. 635 00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:48,908 IT APPEARS TO SHOW YOU OUTSIDE A WEST HOLLYWOOD CLUB CALLED 636 00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:51,444 THE MANHOLE. 637 00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:55,815 (Jerome) WHO'S THAT, COLE? 638 00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:57,417 WHO. 639 00:21:57,517 --> 00:21:58,418 THE FUCK. 640 00:21:58,518 --> 00:21:59,652 IS THAT!? 641 00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:02,789 THAT'S THE LAST STRAW, MOTHERFUCKER. 642 00:22:02,889 --> 00:22:06,258 THIS CAMEL'S BACK IS OFFICIALLY BROKEN. 643 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:07,827 WHAT AM I TO YOU ANYWAY, YOUR PLAYTHING? 644 00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:09,496 A PIECE OF TISSUE YOU CAN JUST USE UP 645 00:22:09,596 --> 00:22:10,930 AND THROW AWAY? 646 00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:12,499 WELL FUCK THAT! 647 00:22:12,599 --> 00:22:14,567 NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER! 648 00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,372 JEROME BABY... 649 00:22:19,472 --> 00:22:21,307 NO, NO, NO, NO, YOU'RE MY CHOCOLATE DROP! 650 00:22:21,408 --> 00:22:22,609 (Rianna) BILLY? 651 00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:25,812 RIANNA? 652 00:22:26,779 --> 00:22:28,280 I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD THE NEWS. 653 00:22:28,381 --> 00:22:30,683 OH, IT'S BAD, IT'S REALLY BAD. 654 00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:32,785 WE'RE NOT ENTIRELY SURE WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE. 655 00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:34,387 YO, BITCH. 656 00:22:34,487 --> 00:22:36,756 GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CLOTHES- 657 00:22:37,590 --> 00:22:39,091 YOU CAN'T SAY FUCK ON TV. 658 00:22:41,394 --> 00:22:43,530 * 659 00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:55,608 (newscaster) WELL THE FIRST ROUND HAS CERTAINLY GIVEN US 660 00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:57,544 A DAY OF SURPRISES, 661 00:22:57,644 --> 00:22:59,579 (draft expert) SOME DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE TODAY. 662 00:22:59,679 --> 00:23:01,881 SOME HAVE CRASHED AND BURNED. 663 00:23:04,817 --> 00:23:08,354 HEY UM, I'M SORRY TO PUT YOU THROUGH THAT. 664 00:23:08,455 --> 00:23:09,656 NO, LISTEN MAN. 665 00:23:09,756 --> 00:23:13,025 I WASN'T THE ONE WHO JUST LOST MILLIONS OF DOLLARS 666 00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:14,927 AND MY BOYFRIEND, 667 00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:18,598 AND GOT OUTTED ON NATIONAL TV, SO-- 668 00:23:18,698 --> 00:23:20,833 IT'S ALL GOOD, REALLY. 669 00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:21,834 GUESS THAT WAS THE EASIEST 670 00:23:21,934 --> 00:23:23,536 THOUSAND BUCKS YOU EVER MADE, HUH? 671 00:23:24,771 --> 00:23:25,838 UH, A THOUSAND DOLLARS? 672 00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:27,440 COLE, COLE! 673 00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:29,008 I GOT FUCKING SAN FRANCISCO HERE! 674 00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:30,443 THEY'RE ABOUT TO PICK YOU 675 00:23:30,543 --> 00:23:32,579 WITH THE FINAL PICK OF THE FIRST ROUND BRO! 676 00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:34,481 AND I GOT THE WORLD'S LARGEST AD AGENCY. 677 00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:35,882 HOW'D YOU LIKE TO BE THE NEW FACE 678 00:23:35,982 --> 00:23:37,884 OF FUCKING ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH? 679 00:23:37,984 --> 00:23:38,885 YOU SERIOUS? 680 00:23:38,985 --> 00:23:40,753 YEAH! 681 00:23:40,853 --> 00:23:43,956 I'M GONNA GET SO MUCH ASS! 682 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,629 SO YOU HAD YOUR FUN, HUH? 683 00:23:49,729 --> 00:23:51,898 LITTLE BIT OF A LAUGH AT GOOD OL' RON'S EXPENSE. 684 00:23:51,998 --> 00:23:55,034 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOOD OL' RON'S TALKING ABOUT. 685 00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:57,904 YOU TOLD THAT DOCTOR ABOUT MY PROBLEM. 686 00:23:58,004 --> 00:23:59,772 MY WAD PROBLEM. 687 00:23:59,872 --> 00:24:01,474 YOU'RE WHAT PROBLEM? 688 00:24:01,574 --> 00:24:02,542 RON I ASSURE YOU, 689 00:24:02,642 --> 00:24:04,777 I SPOKE TO NO ONE ABOUT YOUR WAD. 690 00:24:04,877 --> 00:24:07,647 WHY WOULD I TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT YOUR WAD? 691 00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:11,918 KYLE! 692 00:24:12,018 --> 00:24:12,919 I'M GOING TO KILL HIM. 693 00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:13,920 WHERE IS HE? 694 00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:14,921 I SENT HIM HOME EARLY. 695 00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:16,756 HIS BAND HAD A GIG. 696 00:24:16,856 --> 00:24:17,890 HENRY, WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT? 697 00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:19,425 WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE? 698 00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:21,027 YEAH, WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE? 699 00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:23,563 'CAUSE I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF AN EMPLOYEE JERKING OFF 700 00:24:23,663 --> 00:24:25,131 AND HANDING OUT SEMEN SAMPLES 701 00:24:25,231 --> 00:24:28,400 FALLS UNDER "NEEDS WORK" OR "COMPLETELY UNSATISFACTORY." 702 00:24:28,501 --> 00:24:29,569 IS THERE ANY WAY I CAN CONVINCE YOU 703 00:24:29,669 --> 00:24:31,804 HE WAS "GOING THE EXTRA MILE?" 704 00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:32,805 THIS IS COLE'S HOUSE, 705 00:24:32,905 --> 00:24:34,073 WHY DOES HE HAVE THE COMMENT CARD? 706 00:24:34,173 --> 00:24:36,008 'CAUSE COLE IS CURRENTLY BUSIER THAN I. 707 00:24:36,108 --> 00:24:37,744 DON'T YOU MEAN ME? 708 00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:39,078 COLE IS BUSIER THAN ME. 709 00:24:39,178 --> 00:24:40,146 OR WAS AN AWAY GAME THE WEEK 710 00:24:40,246 --> 00:24:41,981 SUBJECT-VERB AGREEMENT WAS TAUGHT. 711 00:24:42,081 --> 00:24:42,982 ROMAN. 712 00:24:43,082 --> 00:24:44,416 PRETTY SURE IT'S I. 713 00:24:44,517 --> 00:24:46,085 MAYBE THAT WAS THE WEEK OF COMICON. 714 00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:49,088 IRONY, I WAS BEING IRONIC! 715 00:24:49,188 --> 00:24:50,422 HENRY. WHAT? 716 00:24:50,523 --> 00:24:51,958 I THOUGHT I HAD TESTICULAR CANCER. 717 00:24:52,058 --> 00:24:53,693 OH JESUS CHRIST. 718 00:24:53,793 --> 00:24:56,829 * 719 00:25:03,870 --> 00:25:06,906 * 720 00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:16,949 * 721 00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:26,926 * 722 00:25:33,966 --> 00:25:36,969 * 723 00:25:43,910 --> 00:25:46,946 * 724 00:25:52,852 --> 00:25:54,286 ** 725 00:25:56,155 --> 00:25:57,724 TREE!