1
00:00:14,981 --> 00:00:16,039
(ZAPPING)
2
00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:18,778
(ELECTRONIC PULSING)
3
00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:32,556
(BURBLING)
4
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,399
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
5
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,034
(CAMERA CLICKS)
6
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:55,949
You and I will be reborn
7
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,990
In a future place and time
8
00:00:58,091 --> 00:01:03,461
If everything our
Hindu brethren say is true
9
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:07,197
In an age of things that hover
10
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:10,167
You and I will still be lovers
11
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:12,067
And we'll say to ourselves
12
00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:14,367
That was then and this is, too
13
00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:15,805
Doo-doo-be-doo, doo-doo
14
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,969
'Cause we'll still find
the happening hot spots
15
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:22,105
We'll still cruise the cool casinos
16
00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,683
You'll still fly me to the moon
17
00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:26,911
Although the moon to which you fly me
18
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,817
Could be Phobos or Deimos
19
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,390
The psychic worms from Rigel nine
20
00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,482
Who control everything we do
21
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,060
Will make us think that was then
22
00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:39,359
And 3010 is exactly the same as 1962
23
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,900
Don't expect any changes, my friend
24
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:46,336
That was then and this is, too
25
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:57,781
Wow, Mars Vegas.
Long live the eternal city.
26
00:01:57,884 --> 00:02:00,648
Two, one, zero!
27
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,620
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
28
00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:05,554
Rest in hell, Crapville!
29
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:15,629
Out here in the desert,
we're gonna build bigger, better Vegas.
30
00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:19,193
Bathtubs size of oceans,
hookers size of bouncers.
31
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,796
(BLUBBERS) Hamburger!
32
00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:25,944
ANNOUNCER.:
Stand clear of the closing jaws.
33
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:28,344
(IMITA TES WARNING CHIME)
34
00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:35,812
BENDER: Yo, you need any
girders bent, I know a guy.
35
00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:38,017
So what's gonna
be over there, Dad?
36
00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:39,819
LEO: That? That the oasis.
37
00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:43,821
Future site of Oasis Hotel.
38
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:48,492
(LAUGHS) Take that,
you stupid Mother Nature.
39
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:49,590
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
40
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,103
Okay. Let's hit him hard.
41
00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:57,538
This land is your land
This land is my land
42
00:02:57,977 --> 00:02:59,638
Who are you noisy women?
43
00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:04,144
I'm Frida Waterfall, leader of the
Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective,
44
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:08,277
and we will not let you man-doze
this beautiful gyno-desert.
45
00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:11,050
Well, I'm Leo Wong, and I say, "Boom."
46
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:12,749
(WOMEN SCREAMING)
47
00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:14,419
(WOMEN GRUNTING)
48
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:15,960
(BODIES THUDDING)
49
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,597
(GASPS)
50
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,691
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
51
00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:27,868
Hey, what happened to my femi-necklace?
And where's my mega-fem?
52
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,271
(SCREAMS)
53
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:33,102
Is he badly hurt, Dr. Zoidberg?
54
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:36,214
I don't quite know how to say this.
55
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:39,214
(SOBBING) Fry is dead!
56
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:41,287
(ALL SOBBING)
57
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:42,512
(GRUNTS)
58
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:43,814
(GROANS)
59
00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:45,857
Wait, not dead.
The other thing.
60
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,426
Damn eco-broads!
61
00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:51,122
You can't even spray for eagles
without upsetting these kooks.
62
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:52,691
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
63
00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,460
(SCREAMS)
64
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,161
Now, hang on.
Before you do construction,
65
00:03:57,270 --> 00:04:00,239
don't you have to make sure
you're not harming any native species?
66
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,467
You mean, cursory
environmental survey?
67
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,600
Already done! By top scientist.
68
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:05,939
(EX CLAIMS)
69
00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:09,412
Oh, my, yes.
You've got the go-ahead, Mr. Wong.
70
00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:11,780
This place is deader than last year's cat.
71
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:13,182
No, it's not!
72
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:16,653
There's precious life
right here in this scum puddle.
73
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:18,379
Ah!
74
00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:21,790
Cyprinodon martius.
The desert muck leech.
75
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:26,457
Amazingly, the entire species
lives in this one tiny stinkhole.
76
00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:30,366
Killing these will be so much easier
than exterminating those ponies.
77
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:31,970
(IMITATING PONY TROTTING)
78
00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:33,038
(IMITATES GUNFIRE)
79
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:35,004
(IMITATES NEIGHING)
80
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,200
Wait a second.
81
00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:39,540
Leeches may not be
cuddly like pandas or tribbles,
82
00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,671
but these poor
endangered creatures deserve...
83
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,009
(SCREAMS)
84
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,583
Get off me!
85
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:48,814
I'll get it with my trusty foot cups:
Stompy and Smashy.
86
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:49,911
(GRUNTING)
87
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,617
No, don't kill it! We have to...
88
00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:53,885
(SCREAMING)
89
00:04:59,732 --> 00:05:02,667
There. They're not endangered anymore.
They're extinct.
90
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:03,793
(CHUCKLING)
91
00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:06,599
No, they're not. I saved this one.
92
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:08,606
And I'm gonna raise it and care for it,
93
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:10,699
so the world will
forever know what it's lost.
94
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,472
(SCREAMING)
You freaking slime wad!
95
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:20,942
No. I killed it.
It was the last of its kind.
96
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,180
(SCREAMS)
97
00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:25,280
Mother (BLEEP).
Let go of me, you...
98
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:29,792
Poor thing.
99
00:05:29,929 --> 00:05:31,123
(SCREAMS)
100
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:34,731
(GROANS WEAKLY)
101
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,394
Tell you what, Fry.
You all promise not to sue me,
102
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:41,201
I give you token for free
entry in poker tournament.
103
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:42,740
He took it, you all saw it!
104
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:46,710
Maybe we did, maybe we didn't.
What's in it for me, Bender?
105
00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:50,015
Okay, okay. Come back
when New Vegas opens,
106
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,481
I give you all free rooms,
107
00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:54,678
free dinner and
free tickets to Celine Dion.
108
00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:58,416
Lose the Celine Dion tickets
and you got yourself a deal.
109
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,420
All right, damn it, done!
110
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:02,495
(CHEERING)
111
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:03,653
All right, I scored.
112
00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:11,830
(SLOT MACHINES CLINKING)
113
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,803
Look out, Vegas, I've got a system.
114
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,907
(LAUGHING)
115
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:20,001
Oh.
116
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,307
I'm bankrupt.
117
00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:25,111
(CHUCKLES) You said it, Hermes.
He is pathetic, but lovable.
118
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,812
Yup. What? I said no such thing, man.
119
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:32,290
I am not acting weird, Leela.
Why is everyone talking at once?
120
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,383
Fry, calm down and stop braining.
121
00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:35,791
Yeah, Fry, maybe you need...
122
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,659
You're right, Amy!
Maybe I do need some fresh air.
123
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:42,200
Man, I'm worried about him.
124
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:45,362
But not enough to stop
gambling for even a single second.
125
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:51,905
You win, damn it!
126
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:53,069
(BELL RINGING)
127
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:54,203
(BENDER LAUGHING)
128
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,578
It's all in the wrist.
129
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:04,415
(HORNS HONKING)
130
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:06,988
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
131
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:10,728
Voices always yelling.
132
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:15,164
Who said that? I'm not insane.
Stop it. Stop talking in me!
133
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,326
(PANICKED GASPING)
134
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,303
Voices bothering you, man?
I've been there.
135
00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:21,600
You need one of these doodangs.
136
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:22,732
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
137
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:24,139
A foil hat?
Of course, he likes pastrami.
138
00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:26,837
What about the dog's testicles?
139
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,846
(CONVERSATIONS STOP)
140
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,610
Hey, it worked.
The voices stopped.
141
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:34,585
They've got a huge
selection of carburetors...
142
00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:35,881
Hang on. Hang on.
143
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,786
(CLATTERING)
144
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:40,915
(SIGHS)
145
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,961
That's better. My name's Hutch.
146
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:46,463
Hi, Hutch. So what's with the
obnoxious, shrieking voices?
147
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,397
Are my fillings picking up The View?
148
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:53,370
No, man. Truth is,
it's other people's thoughts.
149
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,667
You're a mind reader.
150
00:07:56,743 --> 00:08:00,770
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Although, actually, it was sort of obvious.
151
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,077
You don't believe me?
Take off the helmet.
152
00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:05,514
- I believe you.
- Seriously, do it.
153
00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:06,585
(SIGHS)
154
00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:10,345
HUTCH.: Testing, testing.
Do you read me?
155
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,852
- FRY.: Loud and clear.
- What?
156
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:15,018
I said, "Loud and clear."
157
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,062
Only I said it with my
thinker, not my talker.
158
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,997
Whoa! Freaky.
Why can't I read your thoughts?
159
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:24,126
I don't know. Wait.
What's that about a secret society?
160
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:28,674
Never mind that. Just keep
the foil on and you'll be okay.
161
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:33,337
Also, it'll keep the Dark Ones
from incinerating your brain.
162
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:34,413
That's a plus.
163
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:38,109
And don't ever, ever, ever
tell anyone you can read minds,
164
00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:41,380
or the Dark Ones
will get you like that.
165
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,990
Hang on, pizza grease.
166
00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:46,688
Like that.
167
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:47,760
(WAILS)
168
00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:57,162
(ELECTRONICA MUSIC PLA YING)
169
00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:07,275
Jeez, get a load of
the batteries on her.
170
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,314
I'd like to get my clamps on those.
171
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:11,042
Give her a jump,
you know what I mean?
172
00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:12,139
(CACKLING)
173
00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:13,240
Whoa, whoa.
174
00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:16,344
Show some decorum there,
Clamps. This ain't no strip show.
175
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:19,892
This is a beguiling display
of the pornographic arts.
176
00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:22,460
Yo, Skip, I can see a guy's butt.
177
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:27,193
Oh, Michael, this is the perfect
end to a perfect honeymoon.
178
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,358
I love you so much.
179
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:29,435
(BOTH GASP)
180
00:09:29,535 --> 00:09:31,435
- Is this seat taken?
- Actually, we...
181
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,402
Slide me those chicken wings.
182
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,638
So what part of
Podunk you rubes from?
183
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:37,767
The north-eastern.
184
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,174
(BELCHES LOUDLY)
185
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,576
(SENSUOUS MUSIC PLA YING)
186
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:51,688
(CHEERING)
187
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:57,360
ANNOUNCER ON PA.:
Monsieurs et mademoiselles,
188
00:09:57,463 --> 00:10:04,198
our circus of the senses now arrives
by steamboat in New Orleans, circa 2873.
189
00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:07,898
The muted lament of a trombone
resonates through the fog,
190
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:12,944
which lingers even now, months
after the attack of the fog monster.
191
00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:16,708
With but one hope of restoring
Gearoticus to his throne,
192
00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:20,616
our sensual fate
rests in the gyrations of
193
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:23,218
Fanny.
194
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:26,549
Oh.
195
00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:32,255
(STAMMERING)
196
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,137
(GASPS)
197
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:39,971
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
198
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:44,273
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
199
00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:46,840
(HUMMING JAUNTILY)
200
00:10:49,248 --> 00:10:50,237
Yes?
201
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:52,010
I'm Bender. Let's do it.
202
00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,647
(COCKS GUN)
203
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:00,783
Who is it, the Feds?
204
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:04,727
(GASPS) Aren't you the Donbot,
head of the Robot Mafia?
205
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,766
Allegedly.
And this is my beloved wife, Fanny,
206
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:10,597
whose honor I would
proudly defend with a power drill.
207
00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:12,864
Well, I gotta go drown a stoolie.
208
00:11:14,273 --> 00:11:15,740
(MOANING)
209
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:22,078
I'm gonna be in here a while, so do
me a favor and drive my wife home.
210
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:27,042
It's one of them self-driving cars, so
just sit in the back and do whatever.
211
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,178
(MOANING)
212
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:33,121
Oh, Bender,
your lips are intoxicating.
213
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:36,457
It's like kissing
an ashtray full of hot wings.
214
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,729
(BODIES CLUNK)
215
00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:40,458
(BENDER EX CLAIMS)
216
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,433
(OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS)
217
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,000
(CONVERSATIONS STOP)
218
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:52,737
My God, I really can read minds.
I have a superpower!
219
00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:55,876
There must be something
great I can do with this.
220
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,037
(GASPS)
221
00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:03,113
Hello, ladies,
I can read your thoughts.
222
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:05,122
(BLOWS THUDDING)
223
00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:08,492
Oh, wait, that's invisibility.
224
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:12,920
(GASPS)
225
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:16,729
FRY.: Poker. With my mind-reading
abilities and my invisibility...
226
00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:19,327
Wait, no, just the mind reading.
I can't lose!
227
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:21,935
Sign me up for the tournament, please.
228
00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:26,273
Okey-doke, Jiffy Pop.
Entry fee's 50,000 smackers.
229
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:27,607
50,000?
230
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:30,772
Drat, all I have is my life savings
231
00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:34,444
and a token for free admission
to this poker tournament.
232
00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:35,781
Close enough.
233
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,419
(MELLOW JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
234
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,483
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
235
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:46,129
You're having an affair with
the head of the robot mafia's wife?
236
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:48,496
BENDER: Yup, this is
her I'm making out with.
237
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,592
(MOANING)
238
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,136
Bender, are you crazy?
239
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:54,934
No, it's Fry who's crazy in this one.
240
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:56,736
I'm not crazy.
241
00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:58,332
(SCOFFS) You sure you're okay, Fry?
242
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,878
I mean, you do have
tin foil on your head.
243
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:03,141
So? You got a leech on your neck.
244
00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:06,741
And speaking of sucking on your
neck, want to go to a movie later?
245
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:09,320
Hey, there!
How are you folks doing tonight?
246
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:11,117
Great. What are the specials?
247
00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:15,023
Well, let's see now.
We've got a wonderful grizzly bear
248
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:17,561
that's been dipped in cornmeal
and lightly tormented.
249
00:13:17,663 --> 00:13:19,995
- Questions?
- What was the bear's name?
250
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:22,829
- Jojo.
- Ooh, I'll have him.
251
00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:25,831
(STARTLED GASP)
252
00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:27,633
- Hide me!
- Hey, Donbot,
253
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:30,834
ain't that your wife what
with you had that wedding with?
254
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:35,102
Donbot, honey!
What a pleasant shock!
255
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:39,674
I was just having dinner alone,
when suddenly you walk in on us.
256
00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:40,843
Alone, huh?
257
00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:41,977
(BENDER EX CLAIMS)
258
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:43,578
(BENDER GROANS)
259
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,481
Where am I?
260
00:13:45,591 --> 00:13:50,528
I was exploring a wormhole through space
many light years from this restaurant,
261
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:53,427
when suddenly I was
surrounded by darkness.
262
00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:55,227
Hot, sexy darkness.
263
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:56,460
(PURRS SENSUALLY)
264
00:13:56,569 --> 00:14:01,529
Why, hello, Donbot! Hello, miss,
have we met? I'm Bender.
265
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,108
The world's most sexual robot.
266
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:07,441
I mean, the world's most
boundary-respecting robot.
267
00:14:07,813 --> 00:14:11,180
Nice to see you, Bender.
Welcome back to our universe.
268
00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:14,081
Listen, sugar, I stuck up
the Burlington Coat Factory
269
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:17,246
and got you a little something.
It's a $49 value.
270
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:18,789
(SQUEALING)
271
00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:21,951
Donbot, I love you!
272
00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:24,791
- (WHISPERING) Not really.
- Man, this is great!
273
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:28,424
I always wanted to nail a dame
in a fur coat, and now's my chance.
274
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:34,403
I mean, if you'll introduce me to
one, sir. One as sexy as you, baby!
275
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:36,101
Bender out.
276
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:37,573
(HUMMING HAPPILY)
277
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:46,247
I never felt so alive, Bender.
278
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:49,753
Listen, this turquoise-encrusted
bra is worth 50 grand.
279
00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:53,052
Let's sell it and run off
before the Donbot gets wise.
280
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:58,187
(SIGHS) No. It will take a lot more money
than that to make a girl like you happy.
281
00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:00,561
- No, it won't.
- Yeah, it will. Shut up!
282
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:06,536
We'll run off, but not till after I win
the Universal Poker Championship!
283
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:07,606
(GASPS)
284
00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:10,208
One entry, please.
285
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:13,710
Bender, no! You can't beat
the best players in the universe.
286
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:18,580
- You're not lucky enough.
- Oh, no? I'm 40% lucky.
287
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:22,120
The scrap metal I'm made from
included a truckload of horseshoes
288
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:26,487
from the luckiest racehorses in Mexico,
who had just been sent to a glue factory.
289
00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:31,018
- They don't sound so lucky to me.
- Not without their shoes.
290
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,691
(CROWD MURMURING)
291
00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:36,668
(BUBBLING)
292
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:37,963
(HISSING)
293
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:40,764
(CROWD EX CLAIMS)
294
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,465
WOMAN: That's great!
295
00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:46,542
(HUMMING)
296
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:50,980
Here, Bendy, take this.
It will give you 70% more luck.
297
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,850
It's the Donbot's lucky robot's foot.
298
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:57,320
All right!
With two kinds of luck, I can't lose.
299
00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:59,823
No, wait, three.
I stepped on a leprechaun.
300
00:15:59,925 --> 00:16:01,552
(TIRES SCREECHING)
301
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:03,890
Yo, you see this over here over there?
302
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:05,896
I'm powering up the clamps.
303
00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:11,935
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let us not rush to judgment.
304
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:16,235
But, Skip, that was your lucky robot's
foot what came off of your lucky leg.
305
00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:19,869
While it is true that I did wake up
with only one foot this morning,
306
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,971
there is no proof that my
beloved Fanny was involved.
307
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:25,346
Aside from the hacksaw
I found under her pillow.
308
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:28,750
Well, what about that Bender guy?
You want I should give him the clamps?
309
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:32,847
Not yet, Clamps. Only one thing
can prove that he has my lucky foot.
310
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:35,483
Torture with the clamps
or a clamp-like device?
311
00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:39,820
No. We are gonna sit tight and see
if he wins the poker tournament.
312
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:42,628
He does, that proves
he's packing my lucky foot,
313
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:44,798
in which event...
314
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,303
The clamps!
315
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:49,574
Or a clamp-like device.
316
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:56,414
JILLETTE.: Welcome viewers
who fell asleep with the TV on!
317
00:16:56,515 --> 00:17:00,679
It's the 3009 no-limit
hold 'em championship.
318
00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:02,650
(CHEERING)
319
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:05,120
I'm the massive head
of Penn Jillette,
320
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:08,250
and here with a color
commentary, my partner Teller.
321
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:11,955
Our act really didn't
change much when he died.
322
00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:14,055
Pardon me,
I'm new to this game.
323
00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:16,566
Is this duffle bag big
enough for all your money?
324
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:17,966
(LAUGHING)
325
00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:20,868
Bender? Oh, boogers.
We're in the same tournament.
326
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:23,203
Quick, get your entry fee
back before I bankrupt you.
327
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,777
(SPLUTTERS)
In your dreams, nutloaf.
328
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,243
Bite my shiny metal hat.
329
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:38,145
JILLETTE.: Tex Connecticut,
the pride of Kansas City, first to act.
330
00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:41,723
Smiley Spiff, up next.
331
00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:48,127
Looks like Boobs Vanderbilt
has a decent pair.
332
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,997
Also, she's got two eights.
333
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:56,369
And Bender Rodriguez picks
up a lucky deal right off the bat.
334
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:04,575
BENDER.: Two aces.
I'm thinking guitar solo.
335
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:07,083
(MIMICKING GUITAR SOLO)
336
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:09,688
I fold.
337
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:14,418
Holy crap! A stunning play by
mentally ill newcomer Philip Fry.
338
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:17,927
It's almost as if
he knew Bender had two aces.
339
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:20,191
Bender has two aces? I'm out.
340
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:21,766
- I'm out.
- I'm out.
341
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,198
(LAUGHS)
342
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:24,496
Suck my luck!
343
00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:28,763
See this gun?
344
00:18:29,808 --> 00:18:32,402
That's what I'm gonna
do to Bender if he wins.
345
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:39,211
(COOING)
346
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:45,681
All in. Call my mighty bid at your peril.
347
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,622
(GROWLING)
348
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:51,724
My cards are awful, and I need a hug.
349
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:54,532
I call your bluff.
350
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:58,828
(GROWLING)
351
00:18:58,937 --> 00:19:00,700
I shall annihilate...
352
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:01,795
(SOBBING)
353
00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:05,741
I just wanted to
make my daddy proud.
354
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:09,679
Well, you didn't. I want you and
your junk moved out by Monday.
355
00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:11,576
JILLETTE: It's getting
pretty intense, folks.
356
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:14,209
Based on the state of
decomposition of Teller's head,
357
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,016
we're now in hour
19 of the tournament.
358
00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:20,523
And the first bad deal
of the night for Bender.
359
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:24,426
Hey, pal, help me out here.
This is the worst possible hand, right?
360
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:25,519
I'm all in.
361
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:27,531
All in! I mean, fold. Whatever.
362
00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:34,031
Well, Bender's luck just ran out.
No card can save him from elimination.
363
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:35,996
(GROANS)
364
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:38,338
Oh, my gourds! He's dead.
365
00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:39,706
(GROANS)
366
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,003
21, winner!
367
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,215
(WHOOPING)
368
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:47,149
I'm so full of luck,
it's shooting out like luck diarrhea.
369
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,351
JILLETTE.: Wake up, poker fans!
370
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:54,984
We're down to our final two players in
heads-up action for the Championship.
371
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:57,119
Your perspective, Teller?
372
00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:23,279
All in.
373
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,651
(ALL GASP)
374
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:27,015
But you didn't even
look at your cards!
375
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:31,620
Looking at one's cards is
a crutch for players who rely on skill.
376
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,200
(BENDER SCA TTING UPBEA T TUNE)
377
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:37,828
(GULPS)
378
00:20:37,936 --> 00:20:39,904
Any day now, Fry. You in or out?
379
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:41,832
(STAMMERING)
380
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:46,769
What's the matter, Fry,
you scared? Or just crazy?
381
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:48,268
(LAUGHS)
382
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:50,439
All right, all in.
383
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:58,450
Yes! Four aces!
384
00:20:58,557 --> 00:20:59,956
Ah-ah-ah.
385
00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:03,585
Read 'em and weep,
and then tell me what they are.
386
00:21:03,695 --> 00:21:08,394
Two kings. And with three on the board,
that gives Bender five kings.
387
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:09,865
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
388
00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:12,968
- But how is that...
- I don't believe it.
389
00:21:13,071 --> 00:21:15,972
Bender has just been
dealt the King of Beers,
390
00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:19,532
a coaster from the bar that
somehow got mixed into the deck.
391
00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:21,076
But it still counts!
392
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:23,011
(CHEERING)
393
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,675
LEO: Bender win the Championship!
394
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:27,684
(MUNCHING)
395
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:29,253
That's some good money.
396
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:30,981
(BELCHING)
397
00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:35,185
You did it, Bender.
You're the greatest.
398
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,125
Tell me something
I don't know, sweetass.
399
00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:38,218
Now, let's boogie.
400
00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:42,164
We'll be in Space Tahiti before
the Donbot knows what hit him.
401
00:21:44,736 --> 00:21:46,761
Now I am suspicious.
402
00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:52,738
(BENDER GRUNTING)
403
00:21:55,714 --> 00:21:59,172
Okay, we finished digging this
shallow grave. Can we go now?
404
00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:37,651
(SOBBING)
405
00:22:37,756 --> 00:22:40,316
Poor Bender left me one last voicemail
406
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:44,156
before the Robot Mafia
buried him in the desert.
407
00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:48,458
BENDER.: Fry, old friend,
before I die, I just wanted to say...
408
00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:49,591
(BEEP)
409
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:51,794
Hang on, I'm getting another call. Hello?
410
00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:52,962
(GUNFIRE)
411
00:22:53,071 --> 00:22:54,436
(BENDER SCREAMING)
412
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:58,867
Line up, people! Everyone take
a shovel and one sixth of the planet.
413
00:22:58,977 --> 00:23:03,539
We'll meet back here in 50 years,
our bodies broken and our lives wasted.
414
00:23:03,649 --> 00:23:05,674
And you say these are free shovels?
415
00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:07,217
(RUMBLING)
416
00:23:12,658 --> 00:23:13,750
I'm back, baby.
417
00:23:13,859 --> 00:23:16,555
Bender! I thought the
Robot Mafia killed you.
418
00:23:16,662 --> 00:23:20,564
Nah, they just shot us and buried us
a few times as a warning.
419
00:23:20,666 --> 00:23:22,566
Bender was so brave.
420
00:23:22,668 --> 00:23:25,933
He never stopped making out with me
the whole time they were shooting us.
421
00:23:26,038 --> 00:23:27,266
I sure didn't.
422
00:23:27,839 --> 00:23:30,433
I gotta get back to my husband, baby.
Will I see you tonight?
423
00:23:30,542 --> 00:23:31,736
Probably not.
424
00:23:37,883 --> 00:23:42,582
It's a 14-footer with a clown hazard.
What club you recommend, Baggy?
425
00:23:42,688 --> 00:23:45,248
As on every hole,
I suggest the putter.
426
00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:51,221
Your golf club sure is classy,
Mr. Wong. Naked statue classy.
427
00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:54,959
(CURSING IN MANDARIN)
428
00:23:55,067 --> 00:23:56,557
It is very nice.
429
00:23:56,668 --> 00:24:00,695
I just wish Amy and I didn't have to
wear these sexist badges on our melons.
430
00:24:01,473 --> 00:24:03,907
We're lucky even to play as guests, Leela.
431
00:24:04,009 --> 00:24:07,206
Dad's club has a very
strict "No girls allowed" policy.
432
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,269
(CURSING IN MANDARIN)
433
00:24:09,381 --> 00:24:11,849
- That doesn't seem fair.
- It really is.
434
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,975
Everybody knows women
don't have the focus
435
00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:17,146
to play miniature golf
at a professional level.
436
00:24:18,390 --> 00:24:20,654
But that's the
best shot of the day!
437
00:24:20,759 --> 00:24:22,989
Is that my ball?
I think that my ball.
438
00:24:23,862 --> 00:24:25,853
(CURSING IN MANDARIN)
439
00:24:27,265 --> 00:24:30,063
- Great putt, Dad.
- Okay, we're done.
440
00:24:31,436 --> 00:24:34,894
Mr. Wong, how do you keep this place
so green in the middle of the desert?
441
00:24:35,007 --> 00:24:36,497
Doesn't that waste a lot of water?
442
00:24:36,608 --> 00:24:40,339
Nah, we got plenty water,
pumped directly from flamingo lake.
443
00:24:40,512 --> 00:24:42,605
(SQUAWKING)
444
00:24:46,652 --> 00:24:48,244
They'll be fine.
445
00:24:51,056 --> 00:24:54,389
LEO: Oh, yeah, I love miniature golf.
Love everything about it,
446
00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:56,427
except how damn miniature it is.
447
00:24:56,528 --> 00:25:00,157
That's why I'm building the universe's
biggest miniature golf course.
448
00:25:00,532 --> 00:25:02,329
(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
449
00:25:04,436 --> 00:25:07,234
- This the first tee.
- Where's the hole?
450
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,034
On Pluto's moon, Hydra.
451
00:25:09,141 --> 00:25:13,339
It's a six-billion-mile par-two.
Tough shot, even for a man.
452
00:25:13,879 --> 00:25:14,868
(GROANS)
453
00:25:15,681 --> 00:25:17,114
(WHIRRING)
454
00:25:29,194 --> 00:25:32,721
LEO: Around the sun.
Bank off Jupiter.
455
00:25:33,098 --> 00:25:35,259
And right into the...
456
00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:37,832
(CURSING IN MANDARIN)
457
00:25:37,936 --> 00:25:38,960
I'll be right back.
458
00:25:51,416 --> 00:25:52,405
(GRUNTING)
459
00:25:52,517 --> 00:25:54,348
(CURSING IN MANDARIN)
460
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,317
(GRUNTING)
461
00:25:58,790 --> 00:26:00,917
It dropped in!
Put me down for a two.
462
00:26:02,327 --> 00:26:03,487
Two.
463
00:26:07,165 --> 00:26:09,793
Keep in mind,
that just the first hole.
464
00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:13,735
For full course, we gonna bulldoze
this entire arm of the Milky Way.
465
00:26:13,839 --> 00:26:18,538
What? You're gonna wipe out 10%
of the galaxy for a stupid golf course?
466
00:26:18,643 --> 00:26:22,079
First of all, it 12%.
Second, yes, you betcha.
467
00:26:22,180 --> 00:26:25,809
But you have no idea what life
forms might be evolving out there.
468
00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:28,613
That's exactly why
I'm hiring an impartial scientist
469
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:32,281
to perform an environmental survey.
That's him in the money shower.
470
00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:34,324
(GIGGLING)
471
00:26:35,694 --> 00:26:39,858
FRY.: Delivery boy's log. Having fallen
asleep on what I thought was the toilet,
472
00:26:39,965 --> 00:26:43,230
I awoke to find
the environmental survey in progress.
473
00:26:43,502 --> 00:26:48,599
- Status reports, Science Officer.
- Zilcho. No sign of life or intelligence.
474
00:26:49,174 --> 00:26:50,368
(CACKLING)
475
00:26:52,911 --> 00:26:54,401
BENDER.: Just like Fry on a date.
476
00:26:54,513 --> 00:26:55,810
(LAUGHS) Hey!
477
00:26:55,914 --> 00:26:58,781
Okay, so we haven't
found any life yet.
478
00:26:58,884 --> 00:27:03,446
I still don't see why you men can't be
happy with regular-sized miniature golf.
479
00:27:03,822 --> 00:27:07,451
Leela, evolution has
programmed our fabulous male brains
480
00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:11,928
to take anything anybody else thinks
is important and make it bigger.
481
00:27:13,498 --> 00:27:17,025
Have you seen my new 301-inch TV?
482
00:27:17,135 --> 00:27:21,595
ANNOUNCER.: Hypnotoad is brought to
you by the MagnaPhallix 302-inch TV.
483
00:27:21,940 --> 00:27:23,407
It's bigger!
484
00:27:23,842 --> 00:27:24,809
Oh, hell!
485
00:27:27,045 --> 00:27:28,637
(ALARM BLARING)
486
00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:31,477
Captain, I'm detecting
life on the spock-o-scope!
487
00:27:31,583 --> 00:27:32,550
(GASPS)
488
00:27:47,966 --> 00:27:51,333
It's amazing. It's like
a textbook on evolution.
489
00:27:51,436 --> 00:27:52,460
Except in Kansas.
490
00:27:52,571 --> 00:27:55,199
But isn't Mr. Wong
building the 18th hole here?
491
00:27:55,307 --> 00:27:56,899
And the golf pants museum?
492
00:27:57,008 --> 00:28:00,409
Indeed so. This whole
area will be incinerated
493
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:03,481
when he implodes that
sun there into a black hole.
494
00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:05,310
That beautiful violet star?
495
00:28:05,417 --> 00:28:08,750
It's so you can't keep
your ball at the end of the game.
496
00:28:08,854 --> 00:28:10,412
Yo, that's messed up.
497
00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:14,515
Well, there won't be any imploding once
they read our environmental review.
498
00:28:14,626 --> 00:28:17,322
- Right, Professor?
- Twaddle-squat.
499
00:28:17,429 --> 00:28:20,956
There's no scientific
consensus that life is important.
500
00:28:21,066 --> 00:28:22,863
Yeah. Life, schmife.
501
00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:26,860
FEMALE ELECTRONIC VOICE.:
Approved for demolition.
502
00:28:26,972 --> 00:28:28,735
It's you and me, ponytail.
503
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,137
(PONYTAIL CRACKS)
504
00:28:32,244 --> 00:28:33,768
(TRILLING)
505
00:28:36,882 --> 00:28:37,974
We're here, Mr. President.
506
00:28:38,083 --> 00:28:39,573
(BLUBBERING HOWL)
507
00:28:39,684 --> 00:28:41,709
Let's play some mini-golf.
508
00:28:42,287 --> 00:28:46,348
Now, just give it a light tap, Agnew.
No, no, no, just a light...
509
00:28:46,458 --> 00:28:47,425
(ROARS)
510
00:28:49,828 --> 00:28:52,126
Now for a triple clam dip, with a double...
511
00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:53,254
Ow!
512
00:28:53,365 --> 00:28:54,559
(PEOPLE GASPING)
513
00:28:54,666 --> 00:28:55,633
(GRUNTS)
514
00:28:55,967 --> 00:28:56,991
(GROWLS)
515
00:28:57,102 --> 00:29:01,732
Tough luck, Agnew. Looks like you
and Wong owe me a Charleston Chew.
516
00:29:03,475 --> 00:29:04,567
(BOTH GASP)
517
00:29:06,344 --> 00:29:08,335
- Shut up and hear our wisdom.
- Shut up and hear our wisdom.
518
00:29:08,446 --> 00:29:10,346
- Save the ecosystem.
- Save the ecosystem.
519
00:29:10,448 --> 00:29:14,077
ALL.: (CHANTING) Shut up and hear
our wisdom! Save the ecosystem!
520
00:29:14,452 --> 00:29:17,387
What gives, Wong?
You said no chicks allowed.
521
00:29:17,489 --> 00:29:18,456
(GROWLS)
522
00:29:19,024 --> 00:29:22,084
We are the Greenorita
Eco-Feminist Collective,
523
00:29:22,193 --> 00:29:25,629
and we will not let you...
What was it again?
524
00:29:25,730 --> 00:29:28,858
We will not let you implode
the violet dwarf star
525
00:29:28,967 --> 00:29:35,304
at galactic coordinates
167.84, -58.03, mark 948.
526
00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:37,871
Already approved, you cackling hens.
527
00:29:37,976 --> 00:29:41,479
So get out, or I'll have vice-president
Agnew's headless body throw you out.
528
00:29:41,746 --> 00:29:43,680
I'd like to see him try.
529
00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:46,808
Me, too. Should look funny.
Sic 'em, Agnew.
530
00:29:46,918 --> 00:29:48,408
(ROARING)
531
00:29:48,553 --> 00:29:49,918
(SCREAMING)
532
00:29:51,756 --> 00:29:53,883
NIX ON: Runaway golf cart!
533
00:29:53,992 --> 00:29:55,687
Look out, Agnew!
534
00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:56,761
(YELLING)
535
00:29:56,861 --> 00:29:57,919
(CRUNCHING)
536
00:29:58,029 --> 00:29:59,121
- Whoa!
- Aah!
537
00:29:59,230 --> 00:30:00,424
(CRACKLING)
538
00:30:02,867 --> 00:30:04,858
LEELA: Is he okay?
539
00:30:06,004 --> 00:30:07,369
No pulse.
540
00:30:07,973 --> 00:30:12,672
They killed the headless
remains of Agnew. Arrest them!
541
00:30:14,846 --> 00:30:18,111
All feministas
she-vacuate the premises.
542
00:30:18,216 --> 00:30:19,843
I mean "femises."
543
00:30:19,951 --> 00:30:21,282
(WOMEN PANTING)
544
00:30:24,022 --> 00:30:25,353
(BONES CRACKLING)
545
00:30:29,728 --> 00:30:31,628
My fellow Earthicans,
546
00:30:31,730 --> 00:30:35,257
these eco-crooks will
face the maximum sentence.
547
00:30:35,367 --> 00:30:38,029
For killing a headless
torso, that's six weeks.
548
00:30:38,269 --> 00:30:39,793
Well, this is embarrassing.
549
00:30:39,904 --> 00:30:43,567
Here I've been blabbing on
for years about killing all humans,
550
00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:46,439
and who actually does
something about it? Some chick.
551
00:30:46,544 --> 00:30:49,445
Leela's not a killer,
and she's not some chick.
552
00:30:49,547 --> 00:30:51,276
She's the chick I love.
553
00:30:51,383 --> 00:30:53,817
And don't tell her
I called her a chick, or she'll kill me.
554
00:30:54,986 --> 00:30:56,977
(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)
555
00:31:08,900 --> 00:31:11,300
Everyone stay absolutely quiet!
556
00:31:11,403 --> 00:31:12,563
- That thing's on.
- Turn it off!
557
00:31:12,670 --> 00:31:13,694
Oh, sorry.
558
00:31:13,805 --> 00:31:15,670
How do you turn it off?
559
00:31:15,774 --> 00:31:17,401
There. Did that do it?
560
00:31:17,509 --> 00:31:18,703
No. Stop it. Shut up.
561
00:31:18,810 --> 00:31:20,778
Here's the button here.
562
00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:22,412
(ALARM WAILING)
563
00:31:22,514 --> 00:31:24,141
And I think I... Now I got it.
564
00:31:24,249 --> 00:31:25,511
(FEEDBACK SQUEALS)
565
00:31:25,617 --> 00:31:27,244
Let me give you a hand.
566
00:31:27,385 --> 00:31:28,977
(SHUSHING)
567
00:31:29,087 --> 00:31:30,281
This is awful.
568
00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:34,017
I never meant for our protest to
have any effect. Now what do we do?
569
00:31:34,125 --> 00:31:37,185
Maybe we should just surrender
and serve our six weeks in jail.
570
00:31:37,295 --> 00:31:40,856
Hey, yeah! We could do each
other's toenails and make shivs.
571
00:31:42,967 --> 00:31:45,435
That's crazy.
We've done nothing wrong,
572
00:31:45,537 --> 00:31:48,563
other than killing and
dismembering the vice-president.
573
00:31:48,673 --> 00:31:50,766
We need to make a choice, sisters.
574
00:31:50,875 --> 00:31:55,039
We can either keep pestering criminals
like Leo Wong with silly slogans...
575
00:31:55,146 --> 00:31:56,738
- Yeah.
- Let's do that.
576
00:31:57,315 --> 00:32:00,773
Actually, I meant that to be
the less preferable alternative.
577
00:32:00,885 --> 00:32:05,982
We can either chant slogans
or we can take action.
578
00:32:06,091 --> 00:32:07,683
What was the first choice again?
579
00:32:07,792 --> 00:32:12,729
I choose to save the environment by
sabotaging Leo Wong's golf course.
580
00:32:12,831 --> 00:32:14,458
Who's with me?
581
00:32:15,900 --> 00:32:17,333
Could we still use our bullhorns?
582
00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:18,561
Absolutely.
583
00:32:18,670 --> 00:32:21,298
Bullhorns are a core
principle of eco-feminism.
584
00:32:21,406 --> 00:32:22,464
Then I'm in.
585
00:32:22,574 --> 00:32:24,667
(CHEERING)
586
00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:25,743
(SHUSHING)
587
00:32:25,877 --> 00:32:28,107
Uh, take that
588
00:32:28,213 --> 00:32:29,612
Yeah, yeah
589
00:32:29,714 --> 00:32:31,341
Uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah
590
00:32:31,449 --> 00:32:34,043
lzzy, lzzy, ah
Zizah, zizah, zizah
591
00:32:34,152 --> 00:32:36,518
Girls be talkin'
Like they all rah, rah
592
00:32:36,988 --> 00:32:39,388
Who's ready to kick
some sweaty man-butt?
593
00:32:39,491 --> 00:32:41,254
(CHEERING)
594
00:32:41,359 --> 00:32:44,419
I've got my pointy
man-kicking shoes on.
595
00:32:44,529 --> 00:32:45,655
Those are cute.
596
00:32:45,763 --> 00:32:47,924
Aren't they?
I got them at Nine West.
597
00:32:48,032 --> 00:32:51,058
Simmer down, warriors.
Full power to the vagyroscope!
598
00:32:54,906 --> 00:32:56,396
(LOW WHIRRING)
599
00:33:00,812 --> 00:33:02,211
Those dirty rings.
600
00:33:02,313 --> 00:33:05,077
I tried soaking them out,
even blasting them out.
601
00:33:05,717 --> 00:33:07,617
(ENGINE REVVING)
602
00:33:13,625 --> 00:33:14,819
Are you sure about this?
603
00:33:14,926 --> 00:33:18,555
It would be better for propaganda
if we weren't using refined sugar.
604
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:22,565
It's okay. The potato we're
shoving in the tailpipe is organic.
605
00:33:23,801 --> 00:33:25,234
(SPUTTERING)
606
00:33:26,804 --> 00:33:28,362
(HISSING)
607
00:33:28,973 --> 00:33:30,770
I smell sabotage.
608
00:33:30,909 --> 00:33:32,001
(SNIFFING)
609
00:33:32,110 --> 00:33:33,304
And potatoes.
610
00:33:33,711 --> 00:33:35,440
(CHEERING)
611
00:33:37,115 --> 00:33:40,573
Now, unfortunately, the media is
going to put a negative spin on this,
612
00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:42,050
like when we killed that guy,
613
00:33:42,153 --> 00:33:45,418
so to win public support,
we'll need a lovable mascot.
614
00:33:45,523 --> 00:33:47,081
(GROWLING)
615
00:33:48,359 --> 00:33:49,849
(SNARLING)
616
00:33:50,161 --> 00:33:51,355
(LAUGHS)
617
00:33:51,462 --> 00:33:54,260
Squirm all you want,
you nasty dumpling.
618
00:33:54,399 --> 00:33:57,664
One less species for the universe,
one more breakfast for...
619
00:33:57,769 --> 00:34:00,260
- Zoidberg?
- Leela.
620
00:34:00,371 --> 00:34:03,397
Me saving things the leech.
Not the eating of it.
621
00:34:03,508 --> 00:34:06,671
Zoidberg, I'm very surprised
at you, slightly.
622
00:34:08,246 --> 00:34:09,406
(SLURPING)
623
00:34:15,453 --> 00:34:18,786
- Psst! Leela.
- Shh! I'm a fugitive.
624
00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:22,826
I know. I miss you so much, Leela,
even more than when you were here.
625
00:34:23,228 --> 00:34:24,695
I miss you, too, Fry.
626
00:34:24,796 --> 00:34:27,060
And you probably think
what I'm doing is wrong.
627
00:34:27,165 --> 00:34:28,792
But it's something
I really care about...
628
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:30,731
You don't have to explain, Leela.
629
00:34:30,835 --> 00:34:33,702
You're you.
That's all I need to know.
630
00:34:36,507 --> 00:34:38,975
Goodbye, sweet goofbag.
631
00:34:50,388 --> 00:34:51,377
(SIGHS)
632
00:34:51,489 --> 00:34:53,457
I'll miss her, too, buddy.
633
00:34:53,558 --> 00:34:55,719
- Dibs on her iPod.
- Dibs on...
634
00:34:58,363 --> 00:35:00,923
Hey, Fry! Long time, man.
635
00:35:01,032 --> 00:35:02,829
Hey, Hutch! What have you been up to?
636
00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:05,129
Same old, same old.
Searching the dumpsters,
637
00:35:05,236 --> 00:35:08,433
protecting my thoughts
with tin foil, peeing myself.
638
00:35:08,539 --> 00:35:09,938
So, what brings you to Earth?
639
00:35:10,041 --> 00:35:13,807
It's top secret. Hey, take off
your helmet and I'll think it to you.
640
00:35:14,312 --> 00:35:16,644
Okay. Here goes.
641
00:35:23,411 --> 00:35:24,878
(WHIRRING)
642
00:35:33,621 --> 00:35:35,088
(GROANING)
643
00:35:42,730 --> 00:35:44,789
Where are you? And me?
644
00:35:44,899 --> 00:35:49,427
The Great Hall of
the Ancient Legion of Madfellows.
645
00:35:49,537 --> 00:35:50,504
Welcome, bro.
646
00:35:50,605 --> 00:35:51,970
- Welcome, bro.
- Welcome, bro.
647
00:35:52,073 --> 00:35:55,270
Sorry I bashed your
head in, buddy, but I had to.
648
00:35:55,376 --> 00:35:58,937
You see, the fate of the
universe depends on you.
649
00:35:59,046 --> 00:36:03,039
- Yeah, I get that a lot.
- The Grand Curator will tell you more.
650
00:36:03,150 --> 00:36:04,583
Take me to him.
651
00:36:04,685 --> 00:36:06,312
- Hey, man.
- Hey.
652
00:36:06,420 --> 00:36:07,978
So dig this, Fry.
653
00:36:08,089 --> 00:36:11,525
Our commune has been
monitoring the universe's life energy
654
00:36:11,626 --> 00:36:16,689
for, like, a really long time,
and we're grokking some super weird junk.
655
00:36:17,064 --> 00:36:20,192
I don't mean to be rude, but it's
kind of hard to take you seriously
656
00:36:20,301 --> 00:36:22,735
when you say junk
like "grok" and "junk."
657
00:36:22,837 --> 00:36:25,533
- What about "commune"?
- Especially "commune."
658
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,336
Come on, it's the fate of
the universe, puff it up a little.
659
00:36:28,442 --> 00:36:30,569
Like you could say
your ancient order is sensing
660
00:36:30,678 --> 00:36:33,272
deep upheaval in the
cosmic life energy field.
661
00:36:33,447 --> 00:36:35,608
(ALL MURMURING)
662
00:36:35,916 --> 00:36:41,650
Okay. I'll try. So, like,
a really, really long time ago...
663
00:36:43,224 --> 00:36:45,317
Eons ago!
664
00:36:46,661 --> 00:36:47,889
(LAUGHS) Cool.
665
00:36:48,129 --> 00:36:53,931
Eons ago, the life force we call
Chee permeated the universe.
666
00:36:56,370 --> 00:37:01,535
The Green Chee generated a great
upwelling of life across the cosmos.
667
00:37:01,642 --> 00:37:04,236
But then, for reasons unknown...
668
00:37:04,345 --> 00:37:06,540
Ooh. "Reasons unknown."
669
00:37:06,647 --> 00:37:09,616
Now that's the sort of hook that
grabs the attention of me, the viewer.
670
00:37:09,717 --> 00:37:11,241
For reasons unknown...
671
00:37:11,352 --> 00:37:12,512
Nice.
672
00:37:12,620 --> 00:37:18,650
...the Chee began to recede,
and the diversity of life began to wither.
673
00:37:18,759 --> 00:37:20,920
The life forms we know today
674
00:37:21,028 --> 00:37:25,556
are but a fraction of a fraction of
the magnificence that once existed.
675
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,433
But a bunch of dudes, right,
676
00:37:27,535 --> 00:37:31,027
they totally passed this far-out
knowledge down through the ages.
677
00:37:31,238 --> 00:37:33,832
GRAND CURATOR: Some with
this knowledge were called prophets,
678
00:37:33,941 --> 00:37:39,504
some, fruitcakes. We, the Legion
of Madfellows, are their heirs.
679
00:37:40,081 --> 00:37:41,412
Hey, I'm on TV.
680
00:37:42,917 --> 00:37:45,750
- Well, that's the show.
- Neat. What's it got to do with me?
681
00:37:45,853 --> 00:37:46,842
(GROANS)
682
00:37:46,954 --> 00:37:50,822
Pooperdoodle!
I mean, pardon the omission.
683
00:37:51,258 --> 00:37:57,663
You see, after untold eternities,
we have sensed a resurgence in the Chee.
684
00:37:59,300 --> 00:38:02,736
FRY: Hey, that's the violet dwarf star
that Leela wants to save.
685
00:38:03,204 --> 00:38:04,899
Freaking nailed it, corndog.
686
00:38:05,005 --> 00:38:08,532
We believe this star
heralds a new green age,
687
00:38:08,642 --> 00:38:13,136
and it's your destiny to be
its shepherd and protector.
688
00:38:13,247 --> 00:38:14,771
Me? Why?
689
00:38:14,882 --> 00:38:17,510
'Cause you got, like,
no delta brainwave, man.
690
00:38:17,618 --> 00:38:19,848
The Dark Ones can't
groove off your thoughts.
691
00:38:19,954 --> 00:38:23,788
Silence, Hutch!
You shall learn more in time, Fry.
692
00:38:23,891 --> 00:38:26,553
But for now,
let's just say we have enemies,
693
00:38:26,660 --> 00:38:31,495
enemies who can read
minds, except yours.
694
00:38:31,599 --> 00:38:33,726
Cool. I can't wait to tell Leela.
695
00:38:33,834 --> 00:38:37,463
No! If you tell anyone,
then their thoughts could be read,
696
00:38:37,571 --> 00:38:40,062
and our enemies would
know of our existence.
697
00:38:40,241 --> 00:38:44,041
For the sake of those you love,
you must keep this secret.
698
00:38:44,145 --> 00:38:48,309
- Do you foot-swear?
- Okay. I foot-swear.
699
00:38:49,016 --> 00:38:52,417
Good. Now, to save the
coming of the green age,
700
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,988
you must stop this man.
701
00:38:56,957 --> 00:38:59,824
I know him. Leo Wong.
I work with his daughter.
702
00:38:59,927 --> 00:39:02,828
Good, that will cut about
15 minutes of explanation.
703
00:39:02,930 --> 00:39:06,889
You must gain Wong's confidence,
infiltrate his organization
704
00:39:07,001 --> 00:39:10,459
and prevent him from
destroying the violet dwarf.
705
00:39:16,110 --> 00:39:18,578
- Looking for a job, eh?
- Yes, sir.
706
00:39:18,679 --> 00:39:22,547
Nothing fancy. I'm willing to start at
the bottom and infiltrate my way up.
707
00:39:22,650 --> 00:39:24,777
Sorry, no openings right now.
708
00:39:25,319 --> 00:39:28,584
What I need is security guard to
keep nutcases out of my office.
709
00:39:28,689 --> 00:39:31,453
- I'm good at keeping nutcases.
- I said no way.
710
00:39:32,393 --> 00:39:33,860
Security guard gotta be tough.
711
00:39:33,961 --> 00:39:36,697
This idiot don't look like
he could handle those feministas.
712
00:39:36,897 --> 00:39:40,389
I look like an idiot who
can handle those feministas.
713
00:39:40,534 --> 00:39:42,297
He'll have to do better than that.
714
00:39:42,403 --> 00:39:44,234
I'll have to do better than that.
715
00:39:44,338 --> 00:39:47,000
Hmm. You and I think a lot alike.
716
00:39:47,107 --> 00:39:49,598
You really think you can
stand up to those eco-freakos?
717
00:39:49,710 --> 00:39:52,838
Sir, with me around,
they'll be the least of your worries.
718
00:40:03,457 --> 00:40:08,258
Stand by, men. And manly aliens.
Prepare to test fire King Kong hole.
719
00:40:09,497 --> 00:40:11,829
(THUNDEROUS BOOM)
720
00:40:18,839 --> 00:40:20,500
It workses.
721
00:40:20,608 --> 00:40:22,667
Good job, men. And manly aliens.
722
00:40:23,110 --> 00:40:25,908
Construction of
King Kong hole complete.
723
00:40:26,013 --> 00:40:30,040
Typical.
Always King Kong, never Queen Quong.
724
00:40:44,164 --> 00:40:47,565
What are those, hooks?
Get out of heres, you hookers.
725
00:40:47,668 --> 00:40:49,329
This is my turfs.
726
00:40:53,140 --> 00:40:55,608
Helpses!
727
00:40:55,709 --> 00:40:57,301
(CHEERING)
728
00:41:01,315 --> 00:41:02,907
LEELA: You go, gorilla!
729
00:41:03,584 --> 00:41:06,576
Our top story.
The string of eco-vandalism
730
00:41:06,687 --> 00:41:09,485
that began with a harmless
vice-presidential killing
731
00:41:09,590 --> 00:41:11,455
has spread across the galaxy.
732
00:41:11,659 --> 00:41:14,321
Why do you always get to
read the top story, Morbo?
733
00:41:14,428 --> 00:41:19,491
Because viewers trust a deep male
voice and huge, throbbing forehead veins.
734
00:41:19,967 --> 00:41:21,525
(BEATING RHYTHMICALLY)
735
00:41:21,936 --> 00:41:24,871
Not all reaction to the crime
spree has been negative.
736
00:41:24,972 --> 00:41:29,272
We spoke with several people who viewed
these courageous eco-feminists as heroes.
737
00:41:29,843 --> 00:41:32,971
I just wish there was
some way to... Excuse me.
738
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:34,809
(COUGHING)
739
00:41:35,482 --> 00:41:39,009
Some way to show I support 'em.
Send them some smokes or something.
740
00:41:39,119 --> 00:41:42,577
So you make more than
twice what I do. What?
741
00:41:42,690 --> 00:41:46,251
This just in: Root 2 News has
received a video communique
742
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,351
from the eco-feminists'
unknown hideout.
743
00:41:48,829 --> 00:41:50,490
This is sub-commander L.,
744
00:41:50,598 --> 00:41:53,590
den mother of the
Feminista Revolutionary Collective,
745
00:41:53,701 --> 00:41:56,067
with a message for Leo Wong.
746
00:41:56,170 --> 00:42:01,130
Leo, you're a parasite on the universe,
and parasites must be destroyed.
747
00:42:01,241 --> 00:42:04,540
That's why we've adopted
this parasite as our mascot.
748
00:42:04,645 --> 00:42:05,976
(SNARLING)
749
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:07,570
I know it's a little confusing.
750
00:42:07,681 --> 00:42:11,674
The point is, even this
vicious leech has a right to exist,
751
00:42:11,785 --> 00:42:13,548
because it's a part of nature.
752
00:42:13,654 --> 00:42:18,114
And that's why a vicious leech
like Leo Wong must be exterminated.
753
00:42:18,225 --> 00:42:20,056
(CHEERING)
754
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:21,855
Again, confusing.
755
00:42:21,962 --> 00:42:25,227
We call on women
everywhere to join our struggle
756
00:42:25,332 --> 00:42:27,960
against eco-chauvinist Leo Wong.
757
00:42:28,068 --> 00:42:30,434
We especially need
good communique writers.
758
00:42:30,537 --> 00:42:32,004
Feministas unite!
759
00:42:32,606 --> 00:42:35,803
- In other news...
- Feministas unite!
760
00:42:38,545 --> 00:42:40,445
Feministas unite!
761
00:42:40,848 --> 00:42:44,181
Incredible. Absolutely incredible.
762
00:42:44,284 --> 00:42:48,584
You're telling me this TiVo machine
can pause and rewind live TV?
763
00:42:48,689 --> 00:42:50,953
These crazy broads
gonna ruin me, Nixon.
764
00:42:51,058 --> 00:42:53,049
You gotta help me.
Send the army or something.
765
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:54,593
Something big that shoots.
766
00:42:54,695 --> 00:42:57,926
Sir, I don't care if you
are my biggest contributor.
767
00:42:58,032 --> 00:43:01,365
Our armed forces do not serve
your private business interests.
768
00:43:01,502 --> 00:43:02,491
Sorry, I...
769
00:43:02,603 --> 00:43:04,730
(LAUGHING)
770
00:43:04,838 --> 00:43:09,275
I'm just yanking your chain, Leo.
I'm on it like boring on Gerry Ford.
771
00:43:09,376 --> 00:43:11,173
(MILITARY MARCH PLAYING)
772
00:43:14,615 --> 00:43:17,209
Zapp Brannigan purporting for duty.
773
00:43:17,317 --> 00:43:20,616
For the love of God, Kif,
less piccolo, more fife.
774
00:43:20,988 --> 00:43:22,080
(SIGHS)
775
00:43:22,189 --> 00:43:23,554
Report, Brannigan.
776
00:43:23,691 --> 00:43:27,149
Mr. President, I failed to identify
these curvaceous banditas
777
00:43:27,261 --> 00:43:29,729
despite hours of staring
at their dossiers.
778
00:43:30,431 --> 00:43:33,161
Yet, I seemed to have
stroked myself upon good luck,
779
00:43:33,267 --> 00:43:37,101
for a patriot of the highest order
has volunteered to lead us to them.
780
00:43:41,175 --> 00:43:42,609
(PLAYING DRAMATIC FANFARE)
781
00:43:42,609 --> 00:43:43,268
(PLAYING DRAMATIC FANFARE)
782
00:43:43,377 --> 00:43:45,777
These eco-feminists
are ruthless criminals
783
00:43:45,879 --> 00:43:48,279
who'll stop at nothing
to save the environment.
784
00:43:48,382 --> 00:43:50,646
I don't see how
a bending unit can catch them.
785
00:43:50,751 --> 00:43:53,185
Not just any bending unit,
Presidente.
786
00:43:53,287 --> 00:43:56,723
I happen to be brilliant,
fearless and short on cash.
787
00:43:56,824 --> 00:43:58,348
(COUGHING) Short on cash.
788
00:43:58,459 --> 00:43:59,824
Slush him, Kroker.
789
00:44:05,199 --> 00:44:10,330
Bender here has identified the femdito
commander as my ex-lover, Turanga Leela,
790
00:44:10,437 --> 00:44:11,870
whom I once made love at.
791
00:44:11,972 --> 00:44:14,873
And he's willing to fink
her out for a few simoleons?
792
00:44:14,975 --> 00:44:18,172
It's not about the money, Nixon,
though I'd like much more.
793
00:44:18,278 --> 00:44:21,873
It's 'cause Leela's a threat.
A threat to my reputation.
794
00:44:21,982 --> 00:44:25,145
She's committed 30 felonies
in 12 star systems.
795
00:44:25,252 --> 00:44:28,653
If no one stops her, she'll break
my record for longest rap sheet.
796
00:44:28,756 --> 00:44:29,916
(RASPY HOWL)
797
00:44:30,023 --> 00:44:32,719
That's a despicable motive,
Bender, and I respect it.
798
00:44:32,826 --> 00:44:34,020
(THANKING IN SPANISH)
799
00:44:34,128 --> 00:44:37,757
Now, I could find Leela, but
you'll need to authorize a wiretap.
800
00:44:37,865 --> 00:44:40,197
- As many as you like.
- I only need one.
801
00:44:40,300 --> 00:44:41,631
Let's call it six.
802
00:44:42,536 --> 00:44:46,836
Question. If you don't know where
Leela is, how can you wiretap her?
803
00:44:46,940 --> 00:44:49,704
I'm not wiretapping her,
Greensleeves.
804
00:44:49,810 --> 00:44:53,906
You see, like all women,
Leela has one weakness.
805
00:44:55,082 --> 00:44:56,743
BENDER: Hello, weakness!
806
00:45:00,020 --> 00:45:03,421
Hey, Bender, check it out.
I'm Leo Wong's new security guard.
807
00:45:03,524 --> 00:45:06,925
I got an ID badge and a flashlight,
and I ordered this mustache.
808
00:45:07,027 --> 00:45:10,224
Neat. Say, speaking of
whatever the hell you just said,
809
00:45:10,330 --> 00:45:12,764
I need to make a cell
phone telephone call.
810
00:45:12,866 --> 00:45:15,767
Can borrow your
cell phone telephone?
811
00:45:16,003 --> 00:45:17,971
Okay, but don't
restart my Tetris.
812
00:45:18,071 --> 00:45:19,663
I was finally about
to get one of those pieces
813
00:45:19,773 --> 00:45:21,172
that looks like a backwards "L."
814
00:45:21,275 --> 00:45:22,606
Okay, superstud.
815
00:45:24,244 --> 00:45:27,941
Looking good, security.
No feministas getting past you.
816
00:45:28,048 --> 00:45:30,448
No, sir. Not on my
mustache's watch.
817
00:45:30,818 --> 00:45:34,083
Fry, I can't believe you're working
with my dad against Leela.
818
00:45:34,188 --> 00:45:37,123
How can you claim to be
her friend and still want her in jail?
819
00:45:37,224 --> 00:45:38,248
(CLEARS THROAT)
820
00:45:38,358 --> 00:45:40,417
It's a tightrope walk,
I won't deny it.
821
00:45:40,527 --> 00:45:44,156
It takes the kind of multi-sided
thinking your dad's so brilliant at.
822
00:45:44,498 --> 00:45:47,899
- You mean being two-faced?
- Don't mind cranky-pants here.
823
00:45:48,001 --> 00:45:50,799
She been cranky ever since
she was a fat little girl.
824
00:45:50,904 --> 00:45:51,893
Dad!
825
00:45:52,005 --> 00:45:55,566
Can I be brutally honest, Fry?
I always wanted a son.
826
00:45:55,676 --> 00:45:57,371
That hurt, but I can take it.
827
00:45:57,477 --> 00:45:59,206
(SPEAKS MANDARIN)
828
00:45:59,313 --> 00:46:01,042
I knew you wanted a son!
829
00:46:01,148 --> 00:46:03,639
Why do you think I became
a miniature golf champion?
830
00:46:03,750 --> 00:46:06,514
Why do you think I wear
these stupid boys' sweat suits?
831
00:46:06,620 --> 00:46:09,418
(SNICKERING) To hide your
big, fat butt, that's why.
832
00:46:09,523 --> 00:46:12,720
Now, sir, in fairness,
Amy's butt is actually pretty hot.
833
00:46:13,026 --> 00:46:14,084
What is it with you men?
834
00:46:14,194 --> 00:46:16,219
Why does everything
revolve around my butt?
835
00:46:16,330 --> 00:46:18,594
'Cause it's so big and massive.
836
00:46:19,433 --> 00:46:21,731
- Sorry.
- That's it!
837
00:46:22,936 --> 00:46:26,463
Why don't you just adopt Fry and
make him the son you never had?
838
00:46:26,573 --> 00:46:29,235
That'll replace the daughter
you don't have anymore!
839
00:46:29,343 --> 00:46:30,833
(GRUNTS IN ANGER)
840
00:46:30,944 --> 00:46:32,707
Whoa! What's with Big Butt?
841
00:46:32,813 --> 00:46:34,440
She just hungry.
842
00:46:34,548 --> 00:46:36,106
- Here you go, Fry.
- Thanks.
843
00:46:36,216 --> 00:46:40,744
Oh! FYI, I dropped that Tetris piece in
the wrong place and ended the game.
844
00:46:42,923 --> 00:46:45,721
(ECHOING) No!
845
00:46:51,899 --> 00:46:54,595
Great! Now Amy's gonna
tell Leela I'm a jerk.
846
00:46:55,068 --> 00:46:58,435
If only I could explain
I'm on a secret mission against evil.
847
00:46:58,605 --> 00:47:00,835
Wait. Evil? Yeah, yeah, evil.
848
00:47:00,941 --> 00:47:02,340
(TAPPING)
849
00:47:02,442 --> 00:47:05,878
What's going on in there?
A scary noise?
850
00:47:08,382 --> 00:47:10,612
Hey, you're one of
Leela's feministas.
851
00:47:11,652 --> 00:47:15,554
"Save the environment!
Wo-mandate Leo's retirement!"
852
00:47:15,822 --> 00:47:20,623
That's terrible writing!
Stop making your point so ineffectively!
853
00:47:20,727 --> 00:47:22,592
Take your mands off of me!
854
00:47:22,696 --> 00:47:23,720
(SHUSHING)
855
00:47:23,830 --> 00:47:25,127
I'm on your side.
856
00:47:25,232 --> 00:47:27,063
(SHUSHING) Don't shush me.
857
00:47:27,167 --> 00:47:29,499
Please, can you take
a message to Leela?
858
00:47:30,337 --> 00:47:31,463
What is it?
859
00:47:31,571 --> 00:47:35,905
Just say her sweet goofbag is working to
save the violet dwarf star, just like she is.
860
00:47:36,043 --> 00:47:38,705
Very well,
I'll fem-municate your man-formation.
861
00:47:38,879 --> 00:47:39,971
Just tell her.
862
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:41,047
(SHUSHING)
863
00:47:42,849 --> 00:47:47,309
Well, this is it, old friends.
Planet Express is done for,
864
00:47:47,421 --> 00:47:49,355
what with our
delivery crew missing
865
00:47:49,456 --> 00:47:51,981
and the abysmal sales
of Tickle Me Bender.
866
00:47:52,159 --> 00:47:53,524
(GIGGLING)
867
00:47:53,627 --> 00:47:55,527
Quit touching my junk, pervert!
868
00:47:55,729 --> 00:47:56,718
(SIGHS)
869
00:47:56,830 --> 00:47:59,993
Hold out your hands
and I'll remove your career chips.
870
00:48:01,034 --> 00:48:03,059
I hate to see it come to an end.
871
00:48:03,537 --> 00:48:04,834
(SCREAMING)
872
00:48:04,938 --> 00:48:06,405
When will it end?
873
00:48:06,506 --> 00:48:07,973
(PHONE RINGING)
874
00:48:09,176 --> 00:48:11,235
Shouldn't you get that, Professor?
875
00:48:12,479 --> 00:48:13,810
I suppose.
876
00:48:14,748 --> 00:48:16,648
(SCREAMING)
877
00:48:17,284 --> 00:48:18,410
Hello?
878
00:48:18,518 --> 00:48:20,383
Professor, old buddy,
879
00:48:20,487 --> 00:48:22,785
I'm gonna blow up
the violet dwarf star.
880
00:48:22,889 --> 00:48:26,052
So I need you deliver
billion-mile security fence
881
00:48:26,159 --> 00:48:29,651
to keep out protesters.
Dirty business. Lot of money.
882
00:48:29,763 --> 00:48:30,752
You corrupt enough?
883
00:48:30,864 --> 00:48:32,058
Damn skippy!
884
00:48:34,634 --> 00:48:38,468
Good news, crybabies!
We're back in business.
885
00:48:38,739 --> 00:48:39,865
(BOTH CHEERING)
886
00:48:39,973 --> 00:48:41,304
(BOTH SCREAMING)
887
00:48:44,077 --> 00:48:47,069
(HERMES AND ZOIDBERG WAILING)
888
00:48:56,256 --> 00:48:57,848
(CREATURES TWITTERING)
889
00:49:04,865 --> 00:49:06,799
(HERMES AND ZOIDBERG WAILING)
890
00:49:06,900 --> 00:49:11,234
Sweet kookaburra of Edinburgh, Professor.
You sure you know how to fly this thing?
891
00:49:11,338 --> 00:49:14,398
I invented it, didn't I?
You wouldn't ask Thomas Edison
892
00:49:14,508 --> 00:49:16,772
whether he knew
how to use a sexmatron.
893
00:49:17,377 --> 00:49:19,038
(ALL GASP)
894
00:49:19,146 --> 00:49:20,841
The feministas, probably.
895
00:49:22,749 --> 00:49:24,580
(SPRAY PAINT HISSING)
896
00:49:26,720 --> 00:49:29,883
Halt! What are you doing
in this parallelogram of space?
897
00:49:29,990 --> 00:49:33,448
We're delivering a fence to
keep you ladies in your place.
898
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:34,652
(CHUCKLING)
899
00:49:38,598 --> 00:49:40,259
- Amy?
- Labarbara?
900
00:49:40,367 --> 00:49:41,891
That's right, husband.
901
00:49:42,002 --> 00:49:44,630
From now on, you make
your own Manwiches.
902
00:49:44,738 --> 00:49:49,141
Under the articles of the confemiracy,
we hereby wo-mandeer this ship.
903
00:49:49,242 --> 00:49:51,870
Oh, no, you don't.
It's three against three.
904
00:49:52,079 --> 00:49:53,444
(GROANING)
905
00:49:58,919 --> 00:50:02,855
That was the greatest play I ever saw.
It must have had 20 acts.
906
00:50:03,557 --> 00:50:04,922
(GASPING IN SHOCK)
907
00:50:10,430 --> 00:50:12,125
(SCREAMING IN MANDARIN)
908
00:50:12,232 --> 00:50:14,894
LEELA ON PA.:
We installed your fence, Leo Wong.
909
00:50:15,001 --> 00:50:16,832
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
910
00:50:16,937 --> 00:50:18,495
Should we shout a clever slogan?
911
00:50:18,605 --> 00:50:21,938
You mean something like,
"The best defense is a good fence?"
912
00:50:22,042 --> 00:50:24,067
Yeah, something
like that, only funny.
913
00:50:24,177 --> 00:50:25,269
I wish we could,
914
00:50:25,378 --> 00:50:28,609
but our chief slogan writer is
back at the Honeybun Hideout.
915
00:50:32,819 --> 00:50:36,311
Does "violet dwarf" rhyme
with "men are dorks"?
916
00:50:36,790 --> 00:50:38,587
It does through a megaphone.
917
00:50:39,092 --> 00:50:42,027
That reminds me, I've got to
tell Leela about that weirdo
918
00:50:42,129 --> 00:50:44,097
who wants to save
the violet dwarf.
919
00:50:44,197 --> 00:50:47,826
VOICE.: So, the Legion
of Madfellows has a new pawn, eh?
920
00:50:49,069 --> 00:50:50,559
Is somebody here?
921
00:50:51,004 --> 00:50:53,234
If you're the DSL guy,
you're two days late.
922
00:50:53,340 --> 00:50:55,137
Who gave you that message for Leela?
923
00:50:55,242 --> 00:50:56,504
I don't know his name.
924
00:50:56,610 --> 00:50:59,044
Then you are of no use to the Dark Ones!
925
00:50:59,146 --> 00:51:00,636
(CHOKING)
926
00:51:02,649 --> 00:51:06,415
Long lost brother, avenge my death.
927
00:51:06,720 --> 00:51:08,881
(GAGGING)
928
00:51:10,190 --> 00:51:13,523
Where are your crappy
rhymes now, Frida Waterfall?
929
00:51:13,627 --> 00:51:16,255
I'm dead. I'm dead.
930
00:51:16,363 --> 00:51:19,230
Eat only natural whole-grain bread.
931
00:51:19,332 --> 00:51:20,492
(CHOKING)
932
00:51:28,575 --> 00:51:30,770
Six, seven, eight
Lock the gate
933
00:51:30,877 --> 00:51:33,778
One, two, three
Turn the key
934
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:35,006
30, 50, 10
935
00:51:35,115 --> 00:51:38,778
- My dirty, shifty friend?
- Hey, Fry, long time.
936
00:51:44,357 --> 00:51:45,619
(GROANING)
937
00:51:46,393 --> 00:51:49,385
Welcome back to the
Legion of Madfellows, man.
938
00:51:50,197 --> 00:51:51,824
Why'd you bonk me, you idiot?
939
00:51:51,932 --> 00:51:53,695
You could have just
asked me to come with you.
940
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:56,860
And where are we? This doesn't
look like your regular dumpster.
941
00:51:56,970 --> 00:51:58,961
All in good time!
942
00:51:59,940 --> 00:52:01,339
I guess now is a good time.
943
00:52:01,441 --> 00:52:03,602
We are on Mars,
in a forgotten cavern
944
00:52:03,710 --> 00:52:07,578
abandoned by the native
Martians a million years ago.
945
00:52:07,847 --> 00:52:11,613
FRY: Actually, it was five years ago.
I remember 'cause they washed my socks.
946
00:52:11,718 --> 00:52:13,413
You have done well, Fry.
947
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:16,216
You have ingratiated
yourself with Leo Wong.
948
00:52:16,323 --> 00:52:19,156
Yup, I kissed his ass
from cheek to shining cheek.
949
00:52:19,292 --> 00:52:20,554
So, what do I do next?
950
00:52:20,660 --> 00:52:22,252
As Wong security chief,
951
00:52:22,462 --> 00:52:25,829
you will be on hand when
he attempts to destroy the violet dwarf.
952
00:52:25,932 --> 00:52:28,059
You must not let that happen.
953
00:52:28,168 --> 00:52:30,602
"Must let happen."
954
00:52:30,704 --> 00:52:32,296
Not happen!
955
00:52:32,405 --> 00:52:35,738
"Must let occur."
956
00:52:35,842 --> 00:52:40,541
Let me tell you a story.
A story of two alien species
957
00:52:40,647 --> 00:52:45,846
so ancient that compared to them
the human race is a mere college senior!
958
00:52:48,321 --> 00:52:52,951
On a distant planetoid they evolved
to cooperate in their quest to survive.
959
00:52:58,064 --> 00:53:01,124
Cooperation, because
life is a team sport.
960
00:53:01,568 --> 00:53:05,834
GRAND CURATOR: But, over time,
one species evolved a better strategy,
961
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:10,369
and an evolutionary arms race began.
962
00:53:29,396 --> 00:53:33,526
That concludes the audio-visual
portion of our head-clonk and lecture.
963
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,200
Wait, what happened
to the snakes and the frogs?
964
00:53:36,303 --> 00:53:37,600
I need to know!
965
00:53:37,704 --> 00:53:38,671
(SIGHS)
966
00:53:39,806 --> 00:53:45,403
The frogs, or possibly the snakes,
evolved into vicious killing machines,
967
00:53:45,512 --> 00:53:50,006
honed by the merciless forces of
natural selection and intelligent design.
968
00:53:50,317 --> 00:53:53,480
We call these the Dark Ones!
969
00:53:53,687 --> 00:53:55,348
(SHUDDERING)
970
00:53:55,455 --> 00:54:01,155
These evil creatures preyed on all life,
driving species after species to extinction.
971
00:54:01,528 --> 00:54:02,961
Meanwhile, however,
972
00:54:03,063 --> 00:54:06,055
the second species evolved
to fend off the Dark Ones,
973
00:54:06,266 --> 00:54:09,258
befriending and protecting
all other living things.
974
00:54:09,602 --> 00:54:12,070
- Even Celine Dion?
- Probably.
975
00:54:12,172 --> 00:54:15,733
We call these noble
beings the Encyclopods,
976
00:54:15,942 --> 00:54:17,773
because their DNA incorporates
977
00:54:17,877 --> 00:54:21,369
the DNA of every endangered
species they encountered,
978
00:54:21,481 --> 00:54:24,780
so they can recreate
them if they go extinct.
979
00:54:25,085 --> 00:54:30,421
Just as a pillow, a wig and a corncob pipe
can be used to recreate my old girlfriend!
980
00:54:30,824 --> 00:54:31,813
Bingo.
981
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:36,051
ANNOUNCER.:
Meanwhile, at the Honeybun Hideout.
982
00:54:41,868 --> 00:54:45,770
There! Now you know how it feels
to be locked up in a go-go cage.
983
00:54:46,005 --> 00:54:47,632
What the hell are you talking about?
984
00:54:47,741 --> 00:54:49,174
Shut your man-hole.
985
00:54:49,442 --> 00:54:50,932
(DANCE MUSIC PLA YING)
986
00:54:51,378 --> 00:54:52,811
(GRUNTING)
987
00:54:54,314 --> 00:54:55,508
I feel dirty.
988
00:54:55,915 --> 00:54:58,008
Are you sure Fry is
working for your father?
989
00:54:58,118 --> 00:55:01,610
It just doesn't seem like him to
be so evil, or to hold down a job.
990
00:55:01,721 --> 00:55:05,282
It's true, Leela.
Cross My Heart bra and swear to Goddess.
991
00:55:05,392 --> 00:55:07,883
But the Fry I know
wouldn't do that.
992
00:55:07,994 --> 00:55:11,327
I'm gonna call his cell phone
telephone and prove you wrong.
993
00:55:15,869 --> 00:55:18,394
Oh, no! Frida's been murdered!
994
00:55:19,072 --> 00:55:20,630
(ALL GASPING)
995
00:55:20,740 --> 00:55:23,004
Sweet she-cattle of Seattle.
996
00:55:23,109 --> 00:55:24,974
HERMES: Not your
strong suit, woman.
997
00:55:25,078 --> 00:55:26,511
Who could have done this?
998
00:55:26,613 --> 00:55:28,205
Your dad? Nixon?
999
00:55:28,715 --> 00:55:29,739
Fry?
1000
00:55:29,849 --> 00:55:32,249
No, never. I don't think.
1001
00:55:32,352 --> 00:55:34,877
Anyhow, there's a crazed
murderer on the loose,
1002
00:55:34,988 --> 00:55:37,388
possibly in the shadows
or hanging from the ceiling.
1003
00:55:37,490 --> 00:55:38,479
(ALL SCREAM)
1004
00:55:38,591 --> 00:55:40,456
So just stay calm while I call Fry.
1005
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:41,822
(BONES CRACKLE)
1006
00:55:44,464 --> 00:55:47,900
So where are the Encyclopods
and the Dark Ones now?
1007
00:55:50,503 --> 00:55:52,971
When the life-giving
Chee receded,
1008
00:55:53,072 --> 00:55:56,508
only the toughest organisms
could adapt and survive,
1009
00:55:56,609 --> 00:55:58,042
like the Dark Ones.
1010
00:55:58,411 --> 00:56:00,311
(BOOING)
1011
00:56:01,414 --> 00:56:04,713
Many more died out,
like the Encyclopods.
1012
00:56:04,818 --> 00:56:08,549
But, and this is the
great secret of our age,
1013
00:56:08,655 --> 00:56:12,523
we believe they
left an egg behind.
1014
00:56:12,826 --> 00:56:14,987
- Is it edible?
- We're not gonna eat it!
1015
00:56:15,094 --> 00:56:19,827
Not unless we find a second one.
No, Fry, we intend to hatch it!
1016
00:56:20,033 --> 00:56:21,864
And that's where you come in.
1017
00:56:21,968 --> 00:56:23,435
And here I am.
1018
00:56:23,536 --> 00:56:26,664
At long last the tide
of Chee has returned,
1019
00:56:26,773 --> 00:56:30,174
and its nourishing flow
has awakened the dormant egg.
1020
00:56:30,376 --> 00:56:31,343
That's good.
1021
00:56:31,444 --> 00:56:35,972
It's better than good. It's better.
With its massive stash of DNA,
1022
00:56:36,082 --> 00:56:41,110
the Encyclopod can reconstruct
every species that ever went extinct.
1023
00:56:41,221 --> 00:56:46,454
Imagine, all the animals that
failed evolution's test, alive again!
1024
00:56:46,559 --> 00:56:50,893
The dodo bird, the brittle-klutz,
the striped biologist-taunter.
1025
00:56:50,997 --> 00:56:55,525
- So, where is this egg?
- In the violet dwarf star system.
1026
00:56:55,635 --> 00:56:59,036
- And what does it look like?
- A violet dwarf star!
1027
00:56:59,138 --> 00:57:03,336
You mean, the whole star
is a single... Whoa! Sci-fi.
1028
00:57:03,643 --> 00:57:08,979
Alas! Even now, a Dark One is headed
to the star to ensure its destruction.
1029
00:57:09,082 --> 00:57:11,516
Dang! So what does
this Dark One look like?
1030
00:57:11,618 --> 00:57:12,607
(SIGHS)
1031
00:57:12,719 --> 00:57:16,985
We don't know. I admit
it's a horrifically grave situation.
1032
00:57:17,090 --> 00:57:18,682
Don't sugarcoat it, Nine.
1033
00:57:18,791 --> 00:57:20,656
The Dark Ones have
been evolving so long,
1034
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:22,625
it could be anything or anyone.
1035
00:57:22,729 --> 00:57:23,889
Or anybody.
1036
00:57:23,997 --> 00:57:25,328
You mean, like, people?
1037
00:57:25,431 --> 00:57:27,695
Any people. It will kill the egg,
1038
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:30,633
and every dude, woman
and child who knows about it.
1039
00:57:30,737 --> 00:57:34,104
Even our crazy caps will
be useless at close range.
1040
00:57:34,374 --> 00:57:38,640
That's why only you, with your
defective unreadable brainwave,
1041
00:57:38,745 --> 00:57:40,212
may be able to thwart them
1042
00:57:40,313 --> 00:57:43,612
and usher in a new
green age of wonder and...
1043
00:57:43,716 --> 00:57:45,081
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1044
00:57:46,185 --> 00:57:48,745
You're on Fry-time. Leela!
1045
00:57:49,155 --> 00:57:51,623
- Did you get my message?
- What message?
1046
00:57:51,724 --> 00:57:53,316
Didn't you see Frida Waterfall?
1047
00:57:53,426 --> 00:57:55,951
(GASPS) So you did
kill Frida Waterfall?
1048
00:57:56,162 --> 00:57:58,653
What? No. I told her
to tell you that I'm...
1049
00:57:59,032 --> 00:58:02,399
Oh, Jeep! The Dark Ones
got her. It's all true.
1050
00:58:02,802 --> 00:58:05,327
We need to talk, Leela.
Then I can explain...
1051
00:58:05,505 --> 00:58:08,133
Well, I can't explain anything,
but we should talk anyway.
1052
00:58:08,241 --> 00:58:10,368
- Where are you?
- Oh, no.
1053
00:58:10,476 --> 00:58:12,774
I'm not gonna expose
the Honeybun Hideout.
1054
00:58:12,879 --> 00:58:13,971
Where are you?
1055
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:17,641
Near the Keeler Crater on Mars.
Do you know it?
1056
00:58:17,750 --> 00:58:20,184
I think I read about it.
1057
00:58:20,887 --> 00:58:24,152
LEELA.: I'll meet you at the south
rim in one hour. No mustaches.
1058
00:58:24,257 --> 00:58:25,724
(DIAL TONE)
1059
00:58:25,992 --> 00:58:27,482
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
1060
00:58:28,161 --> 00:58:32,427
Kif, set coordinates, 36-24-36.
1061
00:58:32,799 --> 00:58:35,666
AKA, Leela.
1062
00:58:43,543 --> 00:58:47,240
Ten minutes late.
Ain't that just like a womanista?
1063
00:58:47,981 --> 00:58:51,109
- Are you alone?
- Of course, don't you trust me?
1064
00:58:52,819 --> 00:58:53,877
(YELLING)
1065
00:58:53,987 --> 00:58:55,113
(WHIMPERING)
1066
00:58:55,221 --> 00:58:56,984
ZAPP ON PA.:
There's no escape, Leela.
1067
00:58:57,090 --> 00:58:59,615
If you surrender,
wave your shirt in the air.
1068
00:58:59,792 --> 00:59:01,123
Fry, you traitor!
1069
00:59:02,795 --> 00:59:04,922
AMY OVER PA.: Hop onto
the magnet, Leela!
1070
00:59:05,031 --> 00:59:06,862
Okay. One, two...
1071
00:59:06,966 --> 00:59:07,933
(SCREAMS)
1072
00:59:08,034 --> 00:59:09,001
(CHUCKLES)
1073
00:59:09,102 --> 00:59:10,069
(SQUAWKS)
1074
00:59:19,212 --> 00:59:20,179
(GRUNTS)
1075
00:59:20,813 --> 00:59:22,749
I can't believe you
ratted me out, Fry.
1076
00:59:23,016 --> 00:59:24,506
I'm not a rat, I swear.
1077
00:59:24,617 --> 00:59:28,519
If I'm any rodent, it's the loyal
capybara, king of the rats! No, wait.
1078
00:59:28,621 --> 00:59:29,713
(EXPLOSION)
1079
00:59:31,991 --> 00:59:34,721
This just in, we are about
to get our asses blown off.
1080
00:59:34,827 --> 00:59:37,352
- Labarbara?
- That's right, Linda.
1081
00:59:37,463 --> 00:59:39,124
(SCREAMING)
1082
00:59:39,232 --> 00:59:42,690
Stay strong, ladies. We can lose them
in the giant miniature golf course.
1083
00:59:42,802 --> 00:59:45,669
But the course isn't finished.
And there's no girls allowed.
1084
00:59:45,772 --> 00:59:46,966
Fore!
1085
00:59:47,407 --> 00:59:48,396
(GASP)
1086
00:59:53,179 --> 00:59:58,048
So, they want to play mini golf, eh?
Two can play at that game.
1087
00:59:58,184 --> 01:00:01,176
Or even four, depending on
the number of ball colors available.
1088
01:00:01,287 --> 01:00:02,413
(BOTH SIGH)
1089
01:00:02,522 --> 01:00:06,117
- I choose pink.
- That's their color, sir.
1090
01:00:06,225 --> 01:00:07,385
The hell it is.
1091
01:00:19,906 --> 01:00:23,171
They're gaining on us.
We need a birdie on the windmill hole.
1092
01:00:25,144 --> 01:00:26,805
Wait. Wait.
1093
01:00:28,181 --> 01:00:29,478
Drop the boot!
1094
01:00:31,818 --> 01:00:33,479
(WOMEN CHEERING)
1095
01:00:34,387 --> 01:00:35,513
Sir, at our present speed,
1096
01:00:35,621 --> 01:00:39,284
the computer predicts
a 100% chance we'll be sliced in half.
1097
01:00:39,392 --> 01:00:40,416
We'll never make it.
1098
01:00:40,526 --> 01:00:44,223
Not with that attitude, we won't.
Same speed ahead!
1099
01:00:49,635 --> 01:00:51,398
(MEN SCREAMING)
1100
01:00:53,139 --> 01:00:55,903
We made it through, Kif.
How many men did we lose?
1101
01:00:56,008 --> 01:00:56,975
All of them.
1102
01:00:57,076 --> 01:00:59,442
Well, at least they won't
have to mourn each other.
1103
01:00:59,545 --> 01:01:02,673
Seal the airlocks,
and draw the shades.
1104
01:01:03,716 --> 01:01:05,047
Resume shooting.
1105
01:01:13,025 --> 01:01:15,823
Oh, no! The gorilla! That's a par-four!
1106
01:01:15,928 --> 01:01:16,986
(ALL SCREAM)
1107
01:01:17,096 --> 01:01:19,792
The mouth's too dangerous.
I'm going for the nose.
1108
01:01:19,899 --> 01:01:22,959
Don't be a sucker. You won't
come out anywhere near the hole.
1109
01:01:23,069 --> 01:01:26,300
You need to aim for the jaws
just when they start to close.
1110
01:01:26,405 --> 01:01:28,873
Start to close?
Are you out of your...
1111
01:01:37,884 --> 01:01:39,249
LEELA: We made it!
1112
01:01:42,455 --> 01:01:45,618
Captaining 101. Go for the nose.
1113
01:01:49,395 --> 01:01:50,828
(GRUNTING)
1114
01:01:51,197 --> 01:01:54,325
My arms are broken,
I'll never paint again.
1115
01:01:54,433 --> 01:01:55,730
(SCREAMING)
1116
01:01:55,835 --> 01:01:57,860
You can't sue the military.
1117
01:01:57,970 --> 01:01:59,528
I'm okay then.
1118
01:01:59,972 --> 01:02:00,996
Damage report.
1119
01:02:01,107 --> 01:02:03,803
We lost all remaining
food and oxygen, Captain.
1120
01:02:03,910 --> 01:02:06,037
As well as our XM Radio antenna.
1121
01:02:06,145 --> 01:02:07,578
Then this chase is over.
1122
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:11,013
Kif, set course
for the nearest XM repair facility.
1123
01:02:11,117 --> 01:02:14,018
Meanwhile, we shall
sing top hits from the '80s.
1124
01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:15,815
Which '80s, sir?
1125
01:02:15,922 --> 01:02:18,254
For me, there are only one '80s.
1126
01:02:19,826 --> 01:02:22,727
ZAPP.: Smell like I sound
I'm lost and I'm found
1127
01:02:22,829 --> 01:02:23,921
(KIF GROANS)
1128
01:02:24,030 --> 01:02:28,194
And I'm hungry like the wolf
1129
01:02:30,670 --> 01:02:32,501
(SCREAMING)
1130
01:02:36,242 --> 01:02:39,803
The shot was too good!
We're jamming straight for the hole.
1131
01:02:39,912 --> 01:02:41,743
We're gonna crash, even.
1132
01:02:41,848 --> 01:02:46,410
Shmeesh, shmill out,
shmeverybody. It's a wormhole hole.
1133
01:02:46,886 --> 01:02:52,324
FARNSWORTH: Of course, a wormhole!
We'll simply disappear and reappear in
1134
01:02:54,727 --> 01:02:56,490
another part of the universe.
1135
01:02:56,596 --> 01:02:57,688
We made it!
1136
01:02:58,698 --> 01:03:00,256
(CHEERING)
1137
01:03:03,502 --> 01:03:06,903
Crud nuggets!
We de-spaced right next to the Nimbus.
1138
01:03:07,006 --> 01:03:10,703
Just when you think the chase
is over, it gets twice as exciting!
1139
01:03:14,146 --> 01:03:15,875
(HUMS HUNGRYLIKE THE WOLF)
1140
01:03:20,219 --> 01:03:21,743
Hey, look at that.
1141
01:03:21,854 --> 01:03:23,481
Well, well, well.
1142
01:03:23,856 --> 01:03:26,620
My bloodhound-like instincts
must have hunted them down
1143
01:03:26,726 --> 01:03:30,162
while my other parts
were throbbing to Duran Duran.
1144
01:03:30,463 --> 01:03:34,126
Shall I initiate a pointless
and potentially fatal pursuit?
1145
01:03:34,267 --> 01:03:35,256
Make it so.
1146
01:03:35,368 --> 01:03:38,132
It's gonna be fun on a bun, in space.
1147
01:03:39,272 --> 01:03:40,637
(ENGINE STARTS)
1148
01:03:40,740 --> 01:03:42,230
(SCREAMING)
1149
01:03:50,983 --> 01:03:54,976
Look! The asteroid.
Now it's crawling with life.
1150
01:03:55,354 --> 01:03:57,049
Like Zoidberg's sandals!
1151
01:03:57,390 --> 01:04:00,484
Wow! It's incredible.
1152
01:04:00,693 --> 01:04:04,220
But it'll be destroyed when
Leo Wong blows up the violet dwarf.
1153
01:04:04,497 --> 01:04:08,126
- So why are you helping him?
- I can't tell you, Leela.
1154
01:04:08,534 --> 01:04:09,694
You just have to trust me.
1155
01:04:09,802 --> 01:04:11,235
You keep saying that,
1156
01:04:11,337 --> 01:04:12,964
but you have to give me
something to go on or I...
1157
01:04:13,072 --> 01:04:14,096
(ALARM BLARING)
1158
01:04:14,206 --> 01:04:17,437
FEMALE ELECTRONIC VOICE.:
Out of whale oil. Out of whale oil.
1159
01:04:17,543 --> 01:04:20,341
(GASPS)
The out-of-fuel indicator. It's indicating.
1160
01:04:22,148 --> 01:04:27,211
Say, what's that violet-colored
dwarf-like star thing we're drifting into?
1161
01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:28,878
The violet dwarf star!
1162
01:04:30,790 --> 01:04:35,784
Of course. The gorilla was the 18th hole,
so we're headed into the ball return.
1163
01:04:36,595 --> 01:04:38,358
What else now can go wrong?
1164
01:04:38,464 --> 01:04:39,795
(LOUD BANG)
1165
01:04:42,802 --> 01:04:47,830
Ladies, you're under arrest.
Prepare to be boarded again and again.
1166
01:04:48,307 --> 01:04:50,537
He'll never take me alive.
1167
01:04:50,676 --> 01:04:53,474
(HACKING)
1168
01:04:53,713 --> 01:04:57,274
Don't give up yet.
I've got one more trick up my sleeve.
1169
01:04:57,383 --> 01:04:59,442
That's exactly the number we need.
1170
01:05:04,256 --> 01:05:05,780
The fairer sex.
1171
01:05:05,992 --> 01:05:07,857
(DANCE MUSIC PLA YS)
1172
01:05:08,661 --> 01:05:12,620
Something's very wrong here,
and yet a little bit right.
1173
01:05:12,732 --> 01:05:13,699
(GUNS COCKING)
1174
01:05:13,799 --> 01:05:15,824
LEELA: Not so fast, Brannigan.
1175
01:05:16,902 --> 01:05:19,530
Even less fast, feministas!
1176
01:05:19,638 --> 01:05:21,071
(GASPING)
1177
01:05:21,407 --> 01:05:22,396
Bender?
1178
01:05:22,508 --> 01:05:23,873
All two tons of me.
1179
01:05:26,912 --> 01:05:28,846
Oye, oye, oye.
1180
01:05:28,948 --> 01:05:33,976
All rise for the honorable Chief Justice
D-O-G-G and the Associate Justices.
1181
01:05:34,086 --> 01:05:35,417
(GRUNTS)
1182
01:05:39,592 --> 01:05:41,651
Yo. Seat it or beat it.
1183
01:05:43,295 --> 01:05:46,321
The charges against
y'all femditos is murder,
1184
01:05:46,432 --> 01:05:50,732
mayhem, vandalism,
kidnapping and resisting arrest.
1185
01:05:50,970 --> 01:05:52,961
Damn! The big five.
1186
01:05:53,239 --> 01:05:56,402
You may now make your opening.
What you got to say for yourselves?
1187
01:05:56,509 --> 01:05:58,500
May it please the Court...
1188
01:05:58,611 --> 01:06:00,738
I mean, may it plizzle the cozizzle.
1189
01:06:00,980 --> 01:06:03,642
- Proceed.
- These charges are outrageous.
1190
01:06:03,749 --> 01:06:08,152
Our only goal was to save a rare
violet star and its precious ecosystem.
1191
01:06:08,254 --> 01:06:10,347
If protecting the environment is a crime,
then...
1192
01:06:10,456 --> 01:06:12,686
Protecting the environment is a crime.
1193
01:06:13,059 --> 01:06:15,254
(CLEARS THROAT) I rest my mouth.
1194
01:06:15,361 --> 01:06:18,057
Do you swear to tell the whole
truth and nothing but the truth?
1195
01:06:18,164 --> 01:06:22,294
I... Well, now, I... Am I under
oath when I take the oath?
1196
01:06:22,701 --> 01:06:25,602
Can the witness identify
the feminista leader?
1197
01:06:25,704 --> 01:06:26,932
That's her right there,
1198
01:06:27,039 --> 01:06:29,667
with the "I'm gonna kill
you Bender" look in her eye.
1199
01:06:29,775 --> 01:06:33,506
Hey, aren't you the robot who
robbed me at gunpoint last year?
1200
01:06:33,779 --> 01:06:35,679
No further answers, Your Honor.
1201
01:06:36,282 --> 01:06:39,445
Please, Justice Dogg, Leela and
her friends are completely innocent.
1202
01:06:39,552 --> 01:06:42,919
Hold up. Were you or were
you not abducted by these hoes?
1203
01:06:43,856 --> 01:06:46,689
Well, abducted is such an ugly word.
1204
01:06:47,093 --> 01:06:51,120
Mr. Wong, the court cannot compel you
to testify against your own daughter.
1205
01:06:51,330 --> 01:06:55,289
No. No, I want to. Also, I got
something to say about my wife.
1206
01:06:55,801 --> 01:06:56,768
Aw, yeah.
1207
01:06:56,869 --> 01:06:57,858
(MUSIC PLA YING OVER HEADSET)
1208
01:06:57,970 --> 01:06:59,335
(HUMMING)
1209
01:06:59,438 --> 01:07:02,805
Having heard some of the testimony
over these jams I've been listening to,
1210
01:07:02,908 --> 01:07:05,570
me and my crew will
now kick it in the mix.
1211
01:07:09,014 --> 01:07:10,948
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
1212
01:07:12,918 --> 01:07:14,283
(GASPING)
1213
01:07:21,360 --> 01:07:22,349
(CHUCKLING)
1214
01:07:22,461 --> 01:07:23,792
(BONES CRACKING)
1215
01:07:24,563 --> 01:07:26,428
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
1216
01:07:28,501 --> 01:07:31,800
All right. We got us
a verdict up in this High Court.
1217
01:07:32,271 --> 01:07:34,899
Bailiff, drop it like
it's legal precedent.
1218
01:07:35,174 --> 01:07:39,235
In the matter of Leo Wong v.
The Greenorita Eco-Feminist Collective,
1219
01:07:39,378 --> 01:07:42,506
four justices vote to convict,
five to acquit.
1220
01:07:42,681 --> 01:07:43,978
(CHEERING)
1221
01:07:44,083 --> 01:07:46,779
However, since the vote was
strictly along gender lines
1222
01:07:46,886 --> 01:07:51,414
and the female justices' votes only
count half, you are hereby found guilty.
1223
01:07:51,524 --> 01:07:52,923
(GROANING)
1224
01:07:53,025 --> 01:07:56,722
It's a humiliating and biased system,
but it works.
1225
01:07:57,163 --> 01:08:00,326
Fifty years in the maximum
security Dogg house.
1226
01:08:00,432 --> 01:08:01,558
(GAVEL BANGS)
1227
01:08:01,667 --> 01:08:02,634
Peace.
1228
01:08:11,944 --> 01:08:17,644
- Ladies! Welcome to hell.
- Beats Nutley on a Saturday night.
1229
01:08:17,750 --> 01:08:23,814
This is a privately-owned for-profit prison,
and I run a tight, cheap ship!
1230
01:08:23,923 --> 01:08:28,553
I've done this by cutting cost everywhere,
especially on punishment.
1231
01:08:28,661 --> 01:08:33,325
I rely on you inmates to make
prison unpleasant for yourselves.
1232
01:08:33,432 --> 01:08:35,832
You're encouraged to
sexually harass new prisoners,
1233
01:08:35,935 --> 01:08:40,429
organize no-holds-barred
catfights and maintain poor hygiene.
1234
01:08:40,539 --> 01:08:42,632
Try and make me, copper.
1235
01:08:42,741 --> 01:08:44,641
A troublemaker.
1236
01:08:44,743 --> 01:08:45,801
(LAUGHS)
1237
01:08:45,911 --> 01:08:48,641
Taste the lash of my
99-cent-store nightstick!
1238
01:08:48,747 --> 01:08:49,907
(NIGHTSTICK SQUEAKS)
1239
01:08:52,151 --> 01:08:53,379
Yee-ha!
1240
01:08:53,485 --> 01:08:56,716
With the feministas in
jail, it full speed ahead.
1241
01:08:57,423 --> 01:09:00,950
You and me, Fry. We implode
the violet dwarf star tomorrow.
1242
01:09:01,060 --> 01:09:02,084
Ka-boom-boom.
1243
01:09:02,194 --> 01:09:03,661
- You and me?
- Yeah.
1244
01:09:03,762 --> 01:09:05,252
- Tomorrow?
- Tomorrow.
1245
01:09:05,364 --> 01:09:07,457
- Ka-boom?
- Ka-boom-boom.
1246
01:09:07,733 --> 01:09:08,927
(EXPLOSION THUNDERS)
1247
01:09:09,034 --> 01:09:10,661
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
1248
01:09:15,641 --> 01:09:17,977
Hello? Madfellows? I need to...
1249
01:09:17,977 --> 01:09:18,773
Hello? Madfellows? I need to...
1250
01:09:18,877 --> 01:09:19,844
(GROANS)
1251
01:09:21,413 --> 01:09:24,382
Okay, Leo Wong's about to
destroy the violet dwarf.
1252
01:09:24,483 --> 01:09:26,974
So, whatever I need to know
to stop him, tell me now.
1253
01:09:27,086 --> 01:09:29,919
Alas! Stopping Wong
isn't the only problem.
1254
01:09:30,022 --> 01:09:33,048
One of the Dark Ones will try to
stop you from stopping him.
1255
01:09:33,158 --> 01:09:36,127
So, you must stop it from
stopping you from stopping him.
1256
01:09:36,228 --> 01:09:38,128
But how can I stop
it stop me stop him?
1257
01:09:38,230 --> 01:09:41,859
Stop it! Behold,
the Omega Device.
1258
01:09:43,636 --> 01:09:44,967
(MURMURING)
1259
01:09:45,070 --> 01:09:46,037
FRY: That's it?
1260
01:09:46,138 --> 01:09:49,630
The name "Omega Device" sort of
conjured up something cooler-looking.
1261
01:09:49,742 --> 01:09:51,767
Not that I'm disappointed or anything.
1262
01:09:51,877 --> 01:09:54,778
The important thing is what's inside.
1263
01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:57,610
- What does that look like?
- No one knows, man.
1264
01:09:57,716 --> 01:09:59,513
It was invented
by a blind inventor,
1265
01:09:59,618 --> 01:10:02,451
and the one dude he
described it to was deaf.
1266
01:10:02,554 --> 01:10:04,488
So the legend goes.
1267
01:10:04,790 --> 01:10:09,591
When activated, the device will emit
a localized blast of delta-band noise
1268
01:10:09,695 --> 01:10:12,220
to momentarily
disable the Dark One.
1269
01:10:12,331 --> 01:10:14,595
- Like farting in a tent?
- No, an elevator.
1270
01:10:14,700 --> 01:10:18,329
Which is why you must
strike the enemy at point blank range!
1271
01:10:18,437 --> 01:10:19,734
(ALL AGREEING)
1272
01:10:19,838 --> 01:10:22,500
But the Dark One could
look like anything or anyone, right?
1273
01:10:22,608 --> 01:10:24,098
Or anywhere.
1274
01:10:24,376 --> 01:10:26,207
So, what's your plan to recognize it?
1275
01:10:26,312 --> 01:10:27,939
- We don't have one.
- Got it.
1276
01:10:28,047 --> 01:10:30,242
And we don't dare
think of one neither.
1277
01:10:30,349 --> 01:10:34,046
'Cause if we do, the Dark Ones
might sense kind of the general vibe.
1278
01:10:34,286 --> 01:10:36,618
Even through our mighty foil.
1279
01:10:36,889 --> 01:10:40,347
Oh, man!
Anyone got some tape or some gum?
1280
01:10:40,492 --> 01:10:44,690
As my colleague indicated,
the plan cannot come from us, Fry.
1281
01:10:44,797 --> 01:10:46,196
We were counting on you
1282
01:10:46,298 --> 01:10:48,926
and your unreadable brain
to come up with something.
1283
01:10:49,034 --> 01:10:51,366
- That was a mistake.
- I see that now.
1284
01:10:51,470 --> 01:10:56,635
Freaky thing is, the Dark Ones'
thoughts are unreadable, just like yours.
1285
01:10:56,742 --> 01:10:59,506
Yes, if we dared unwrap our heads,
1286
01:10:59,611 --> 01:11:04,878
we could easily locate the one other being
whose mind we can't read. The Dark One!
1287
01:11:05,017 --> 01:11:07,315
But then the Dark One
would read our minds
1288
01:11:07,419 --> 01:11:09,751
and crush them
like blood pumpkins.
1289
01:11:09,855 --> 01:11:13,291
Wait. I can read minds
and my mind can't be read.
1290
01:11:13,625 --> 01:11:15,422
- I have a plan.
- Great.
1291
01:11:15,527 --> 01:11:17,222
Whatever it is, don't tell us.
1292
01:11:17,329 --> 01:11:21,425
Wait. Fry can read minds
and his mind can't be read.
1293
01:11:21,633 --> 01:11:24,295
So he can safely
scan for the Dark One...
1294
01:11:24,403 --> 01:11:25,802
Shut up! Shut up!
1295
01:11:25,904 --> 01:11:27,462
(ALL GIBBERING)
1296
01:11:38,183 --> 01:11:43,086
VOICE.: Leela, time is running out.
We must get to the violet star.
1297
01:11:43,188 --> 01:11:45,122
Okay, okay. Shut up, already.
1298
01:11:45,257 --> 01:11:46,451
Huh?
1299
01:11:46,558 --> 01:11:48,082
Nobody's talking, Leela.
1300
01:11:48,193 --> 01:11:51,026
We're just painting each other's
toenails with rat blood.
1301
01:11:51,130 --> 01:11:52,597
Lights out, ladies!
1302
01:11:52,698 --> 01:11:55,531
Those compact fluorescent
bulbs waste pennies a day.
1303
01:11:55,634 --> 01:11:56,896
(CRACKLING)
1304
01:11:58,137 --> 01:11:59,161
(DOOR CLOSES)
1305
01:11:59,271 --> 01:12:01,171
Okay, feministas, all clear.
1306
01:12:01,273 --> 01:12:02,865
Whoa!
1307
01:12:02,975 --> 01:12:05,876
We now go live to Leela
with the escape plan.
1308
01:12:05,978 --> 01:12:07,309
- Leela?
- Thanks, Linda.
1309
01:12:07,413 --> 01:12:10,610
Now we're in here because we
tried to save endangered wildlife.
1310
01:12:10,716 --> 01:12:13,947
So this time,
endangered wildlife will save us.
1311
01:12:14,119 --> 01:12:15,279
(ALL GASPING)
1312
01:12:15,387 --> 01:12:17,321
The Martian muck leech.
1313
01:12:17,423 --> 01:12:20,859
That's right. He's been living
off me since we got captured.
1314
01:12:20,959 --> 01:12:21,948
(MOANS)
1315
01:12:22,060 --> 01:12:24,460
Little cutie almost sucked me dry.
1316
01:12:24,763 --> 01:12:26,731
(GROANING)
1317
01:12:26,865 --> 01:12:28,230
(SIGHS)
1318
01:12:29,334 --> 01:12:30,596
(SLURPING)
1319
01:12:31,403 --> 01:12:32,665
(CHEERING)
1320
01:12:32,771 --> 01:12:34,466
Look at him go.
1321
01:12:34,573 --> 01:12:37,940
Like a green snake
through a sugarcane cake.
1322
01:12:38,043 --> 01:12:40,102
HERMES ON CELL PHONE.: Keep trying.
1323
01:12:45,517 --> 01:12:47,417
(RETCHING)
1324
01:12:48,554 --> 01:12:53,719
Our top story. The universe's most wanted
eco-feminists are now behind bars,
1325
01:12:53,826 --> 01:12:58,763
including gang leader, Turanga Leela.
AKA, the Notorious B-l-ltch.
1326
01:13:00,265 --> 01:13:03,325
We finished un-pinking
the ship, Hubert. Now what?
1327
01:13:03,435 --> 01:13:04,959
Now we get back to work.
1328
01:13:05,070 --> 01:13:08,471
And if that means destroying
an ecosystem or two, so be it.
1329
01:13:08,740 --> 01:13:12,801
I just meant without our good
friends Fry, Leela, Amy and the robot.
1330
01:13:12,911 --> 01:13:17,507
Oh, boo-hoo. This is a business,
not a social club. Money talks.
1331
01:13:18,083 --> 01:13:20,847
True wealth is
measured in friendships.
1332
01:13:20,953 --> 01:13:22,250
Shut up, you.
1333
01:13:22,354 --> 01:13:24,049
Life goes on.
1334
01:13:24,156 --> 01:13:27,853
But I believe we'll forever
carry the pain on the inside.
1335
01:13:31,864 --> 01:13:34,264
(CROWING)
1336
01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:39,334
Oh, no, a rooster!
That indicates it's the following morning.
1337
01:13:41,406 --> 01:13:44,000
How's that creepy crawler doing?
1338
01:13:44,109 --> 01:13:47,510
I'm sorry, femi-sisters,
but it pooped out around 3:00 a.m.
1339
01:13:47,613 --> 01:13:49,877
Poor thing couldn't take another bite.
1340
01:13:49,982 --> 01:13:50,971
(SCREAMS)
1341
01:13:51,817 --> 01:13:53,614
Well, I guess we failed.
1342
01:13:53,719 --> 01:13:57,280
But what matters is, we tried our
best and we looked good doing it.
1343
01:13:57,389 --> 01:13:58,481
(DEEP THUD)
1344
01:13:58,590 --> 01:13:59,921
(ALL GASPING)
1345
01:14:02,160 --> 01:14:04,253
Bender, is that you?
1346
01:14:04,363 --> 01:14:07,161
Who does it look like?
My identical cousin Buster?
1347
01:14:07,266 --> 01:14:08,290
Yes.
1348
01:14:09,501 --> 01:14:13,801
You're here to break us out?
But you're the one who put us in.
1349
01:14:13,906 --> 01:14:16,966
But I'm Bender,
king of the combination shot.
1350
01:14:17,075 --> 01:14:22,103
I put you in so that by busting you out,
I could commit 15 felonies at once.
1351
01:14:22,281 --> 01:14:26,479
Put my rap sheet miles ahead
of yours on the all-time chart.
1352
01:14:26,652 --> 01:14:28,984
You are one devious bastard.
1353
01:14:29,087 --> 01:14:31,555
That's what it says on my vanity plate.
1354
01:14:39,164 --> 01:14:42,099
- What about the sentries?
- Already taken care of.
1355
01:14:42,234 --> 01:14:46,136
I sent them a cake laced with nutmeg.
That's a human sleeping drug, right?
1356
01:14:46,238 --> 01:14:48,900
No, it's a human baking drug.
1357
01:14:49,007 --> 01:14:50,235
(GROANING)
1358
01:14:50,342 --> 01:14:54,369
Okay, Plan B. Everyone knows
men have one fatal weakness,
1359
01:14:54,479 --> 01:14:58,438
they can't resist hookers.
Dixie, Trixie, you know what to do.
1360
01:15:06,458 --> 01:15:08,221
(FALSETTO) Hello, boys!
1361
01:15:08,327 --> 01:15:10,420
(GROANING)
1362
01:15:10,629 --> 01:15:13,894
Your eyes say no,
but your machine gun fire says...
1363
01:15:14,032 --> 01:15:15,226
(SCREAMING)
1364
01:15:35,654 --> 01:15:38,054
Ladies and gentleman
and whatever,
1365
01:15:38,156 --> 01:15:42,149
welcome to my most environmentally
disastrous implosion ever.
1366
01:15:42,394 --> 01:15:44,259
A whole star system!
1367
01:15:44,529 --> 01:15:46,121
(CHEERING)
1368
01:15:47,699 --> 01:15:51,465
Kif, old boy, mind if I sit on
your shoulders for a better view?
1369
01:15:51,570 --> 01:15:54,368
Well, actually, sir, I was hoping...
1370
01:15:54,473 --> 01:15:55,565
Thanks.
1371
01:15:55,674 --> 01:15:56,766
(KIF GROANS)
1372
01:15:56,875 --> 01:16:02,404
My associate Philip Fry here will have
honor to blow this ugly, dirty star
1373
01:16:02,514 --> 01:16:04,414
into nice, clean black hole.
1374
01:16:04,750 --> 01:16:07,651
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1375
01:16:08,453 --> 01:16:12,514
Fry, careful those wires.
What you doing down there?
1376
01:16:12,624 --> 01:16:15,525
Just polishing your shoes, Mr. W.
1377
01:16:18,463 --> 01:16:21,990
That nice. Get between
the toes there, very dirty.
1378
01:16:22,300 --> 01:16:23,699
(SIREN WAILING)
1379
01:16:25,103 --> 01:16:26,661
(GUNS FIRING)
1380
01:16:27,005 --> 01:16:29,200
Well, so much for Plan B.
1381
01:16:29,307 --> 01:16:30,399
What's Plan C?
1382
01:16:30,509 --> 01:16:34,502
All situations have the same Plan C.
Bending, come on.
1383
01:16:34,680 --> 01:16:36,011
(GRUNTING)
1384
01:16:36,114 --> 01:16:37,638
(WOMEN SCREAMING)
1385
01:16:40,052 --> 01:16:41,883
(GRUNTING)
1386
01:16:42,888 --> 01:16:45,789
We're boned, Bender.
It's a brick wall.
1387
01:16:45,891 --> 01:16:49,588
Granted, it's not on
the list of approved bendables,
1388
01:16:49,695 --> 01:16:56,191
but I'm so great!
1389
01:17:00,806 --> 01:17:02,000
(DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE)
1390
01:17:02,107 --> 01:17:04,632
Dogs! The boning continues.
1391
01:17:05,711 --> 01:17:09,169
Green Bluebird, this is Mr. Fabulous.
We are go for cheesing it.
1392
01:17:15,420 --> 01:17:17,047
(BARKING)
1393
01:17:18,390 --> 01:17:19,948
(YELPS)
1394
01:17:20,592 --> 01:17:21,991
(GUNS FIRING)
1395
01:17:26,765 --> 01:17:30,360
Professor! Hermes! Zoidberg!
1396
01:17:32,804 --> 01:17:34,567
Scruffy. A janitor.
1397
01:17:34,773 --> 01:17:35,967
You helped us escape?
1398
01:17:36,074 --> 01:17:39,908
Even after we locked you in a go-go
cage like common go-go dancers?
1399
01:17:40,011 --> 01:17:45,847
I couldn't live with myself, Leela.
I call myself a scientist,
1400
01:17:45,951 --> 01:17:49,512
wear the white coat and probe
a monkey every now and again,
1401
01:17:49,755 --> 01:17:54,089
yet I put monetary gain
ahead of preserving nature.
1402
01:17:54,192 --> 01:17:56,456
Can you ever forgive me?
1403
01:17:57,195 --> 01:17:58,184
I reckon.
1404
01:17:58,296 --> 01:18:02,699
- I could kiss you, Professor.
- Okay, but watch out for my new grill.
1405
01:18:08,140 --> 01:18:09,937
(CHEERING)
1406
01:18:10,609 --> 01:18:13,703
Before the grand finale, as it were,
1407
01:18:13,812 --> 01:18:17,612
it seems only fitting that I,
Commodore 64 Zapp Brannigan,
1408
01:18:17,716 --> 01:18:19,775
say a few brief pages in honor of...
1409
01:18:19,885 --> 01:18:23,787
GRAND CURA TOR.: Whatever your plan is,
Fry, I suggest you get on with it.
1410
01:18:23,955 --> 01:18:26,856
Get... Shoot, I got hot
sauce on my Number 9 shirt.
1411
01:18:27,325 --> 01:18:32,092
FRY.: Okay, locate the Dark One by finding
someone whose thoughts I can't read.
1412
01:18:32,564 --> 01:18:33,565
And unaccustomed...
1413
01:18:33,799 --> 01:18:37,200
ZAPP.: By God!
I'm the greatest speaker of all time.
1414
01:18:37,302 --> 01:18:40,760
They're suckling at the
teats of my every syllable.
1415
01:18:40,872 --> 01:18:42,134
Allow me now...
1416
01:18:42,808 --> 01:18:47,006
KIF.: His voice is like ear sandpaper.
I miss Amy.
1417
01:18:47,445 --> 01:18:49,276
NIX ON.: The one secret
no one ever suspected
1418
01:18:49,381 --> 01:18:51,849
is that I really did
stage the moon landing.
1419
01:18:52,484 --> 01:18:53,508
On Venus.
1420
01:18:54,252 --> 01:18:55,719
(LAUGHING)
1421
01:18:56,021 --> 01:19:01,391
(SIGHING) If I had all the money
in the world, I'd... Oh, wait. I do.
1422
01:19:01,560 --> 01:19:03,585
(EVIL CACKLING)
1423
01:19:03,695 --> 01:19:08,098
I'd like to thank the academy,
my agent, and most of all,
1424
01:19:08,233 --> 01:19:12,465
my operating system,
Windows Vista, for everything it...
1425
01:19:12,571 --> 01:19:13,936
System error.
1426
01:19:14,039 --> 01:19:16,837
Naked ladies. Naked ladies.
Naked ladies. Naked ladies.
1427
01:19:16,942 --> 01:19:21,106
I never should have taken that accent
elimination class from Jackie Chan.
1428
01:19:21,580 --> 01:19:25,016
And so, as we obliterize this star,
1429
01:19:25,116 --> 01:19:29,985
let us remember those immortal words
once spoken by a great man, moi.
1430
01:19:30,088 --> 01:19:33,421
And I quote, "All good
things must come to an end,
1431
01:19:33,525 --> 01:19:35,789
"preferably in
a humongous explosion."
1432
01:19:36,061 --> 01:19:37,824
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1433
01:19:37,929 --> 01:19:39,863
Let's pop this beach ball.
1434
01:19:40,565 --> 01:19:42,897
ALL: Ten! Nine!
1435
01:19:43,668 --> 01:19:45,158
Eight!
1436
01:19:45,337 --> 01:19:47,703
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
1437
01:19:49,307 --> 01:19:51,207
There's no one here whose
thoughts can't be read.
1438
01:19:51,309 --> 01:19:54,335
No one, except me!
1439
01:19:54,713 --> 01:19:58,080
My thoughts can't be read.
But that's crazy.
1440
01:19:58,216 --> 01:20:01,310
If I were the Dark One,
I'd know it, wouldn't I?
1441
01:20:02,220 --> 01:20:05,018
But, here I am, right where
the Dark One would be,
1442
01:20:05,123 --> 01:20:06,954
about to blow up the star.
1443
01:20:07,058 --> 01:20:10,459
Oh, God! Somewhere deep
inside of me, it's me!
1444
01:20:10,562 --> 01:20:11,790
I'm the Dark One!
1445
01:20:11,897 --> 01:20:12,921
(CRASHING)
1446
01:20:13,031 --> 01:20:14,464
(ALL GASP)
1447
01:20:15,533 --> 01:20:17,228
Put your hands in the air!
1448
01:20:18,103 --> 01:20:20,071
Should we wave them
like we just don't care?
1449
01:20:20,171 --> 01:20:21,798
That's optional.
1450
01:20:22,641 --> 01:20:27,271
You girl punks gone too far this time.
Your parents should be ashamed.
1451
01:20:27,412 --> 01:20:28,879
Yes, you should!
1452
01:20:30,048 --> 01:20:31,015
(GASPING)
1453
01:20:31,149 --> 01:20:33,481
- Amy?
- Amy!
1454
01:20:33,585 --> 01:20:35,951
VOICE.: Destroy the star, Leo, hurry.
1455
01:20:36,054 --> 01:20:38,284
You got it, Mr. Voice-in-my-head.
1456
01:20:38,390 --> 01:20:39,652
(HOWLING)
1457
01:20:40,825 --> 01:20:42,224
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1458
01:20:46,865 --> 01:20:50,801
I've gotta admit, Amy,
you got a pretty good swing.
1459
01:20:51,803 --> 01:20:54,271
Really? Thanks, Dad.
1460
01:20:55,273 --> 01:20:56,262
(GROANS)
1461
01:20:56,374 --> 01:20:59,707
Okay, time to defuse
this star cracker once and for all.
1462
01:21:01,012 --> 01:21:03,105
Leela, wait.
You're making a mistake.
1463
01:21:03,214 --> 01:21:05,239
You have no idea
what's really going on.
1464
01:21:05,350 --> 01:21:06,977
What is really going on?
1465
01:21:07,085 --> 01:21:08,109
I can't tell you.
1466
01:21:08,219 --> 01:21:10,710
Then why should I trust you? Why?
1467
01:21:10,822 --> 01:21:13,382
Because... Because...
1468
01:21:20,699 --> 01:21:23,395
You're you. That's all I need to know.
1469
01:21:24,369 --> 01:21:26,200
- No! Don't do it!
- Fiddlesticks.
1470
01:21:26,304 --> 01:21:28,431
Leela, are you crazy?
1471
01:21:28,540 --> 01:21:31,703
We became fugitives
and jail-breakers to stop him.
1472
01:21:31,810 --> 01:21:34,108
And hookers, don't forget hookers.
1473
01:21:34,212 --> 01:21:35,543
Shame on all of you.
1474
01:21:35,647 --> 01:21:38,639
After everything we've been through
together, do you really think Fry would...
1475
01:21:38,750 --> 01:21:40,615
(ALL GASPING)
1476
01:21:44,222 --> 01:21:48,215
Goodbye, Leela.
I destroy myself to save you.
1477
01:21:49,861 --> 01:21:51,089
(GASPS)
1478
01:21:58,503 --> 01:22:01,631
Where's the boom?
I was expecting a boom.
1479
01:22:01,840 --> 01:22:05,640
It didn't work. I'm the Dark One,
and it didn't do anything.
1480
01:22:05,744 --> 01:22:08,611
You're not the Dark One, I am.
1481
01:22:08,713 --> 01:22:09,907
Leela?
1482
01:22:10,015 --> 01:22:12,108
Not Leela, you moron. Me!
1483
01:22:12,717 --> 01:22:13,911
(SCREAMS)
1484
01:22:14,019 --> 01:22:15,782
What did you do to me?
1485
01:22:16,087 --> 01:22:17,452
(ALL GASP)
1486
01:22:17,555 --> 01:22:18,544
Ew!
1487
01:22:19,391 --> 01:22:23,054
I am the Dark One.
The very last Dark One.
1488
01:22:23,294 --> 01:22:26,627
How is it possible
I couldn't read your mind?
1489
01:22:27,399 --> 01:22:30,459
Oh, I am momentarily disabled.
1490
01:22:30,635 --> 01:22:32,330
(THUNDER CRASHES)
1491
01:22:32,537 --> 01:22:33,595
(ALL GASP)
1492
01:22:39,244 --> 01:22:42,304
(GASPS) What's happening out there?
1493
01:22:42,414 --> 01:22:44,314
Somethings wondersful.
1494
01:23:05,670 --> 01:23:10,198
LEELA: The star and the asteroid.
They were an egg and a sperm.
1495
01:23:10,308 --> 01:23:13,835
Great modem of mercy.
Cover the children's eyes.
1496
01:23:13,945 --> 01:23:15,276
There are no children here.
1497
01:23:15,380 --> 01:23:17,541
Then move your fat head.
I can't see.
1498
01:23:29,327 --> 01:23:31,420
(ALL EX CLAIM)
1499
01:23:31,696 --> 01:23:36,633
The Encyclopod is reborn.
A new green age has begun!
1500
01:23:36,734 --> 01:23:38,964
So the legend foretold.
1501
01:23:48,847 --> 01:23:53,875
Look! Inside its pouch.
Extinct Tasmanian tigers.
1502
01:23:54,185 --> 01:23:57,211
AMY: And dodo birds.
LEELA: And white rhinos.
1503
01:23:57,322 --> 01:24:00,086
HERMES: And striped biologist-taunters.
1504
01:24:00,191 --> 01:24:02,386
What are you gonna do, shoot us?
1505
01:24:07,632 --> 01:24:08,599
Life!
1506
01:24:08,700 --> 01:24:10,031
(GASPING)
1507
01:24:11,202 --> 01:24:16,401
These once extinct plants
and animals are my gift to the universe.
1508
01:24:16,741 --> 01:24:20,905
Through untold generations,
my race has treasured their DNA.
1509
01:24:21,346 --> 01:24:25,942
Treat them wisely with the knowledge
that all species are precious.
1510
01:24:26,284 --> 01:24:29,515
This is unbelievable. What's going on?
1511
01:24:29,621 --> 01:24:32,488
To answer that, I must tell you a story.
1512
01:24:32,724 --> 01:24:36,091
A story of two alien
species so ancient that...
1513
01:24:36,194 --> 01:24:37,388
(LEECH SNARLS)
1514
01:24:37,529 --> 01:24:39,121
(ALL SCREAMING)
1515
01:24:39,264 --> 01:24:40,390
(GRUNTS)
1516
01:24:40,498 --> 01:24:44,935
- Hutch, are you okay?
- My sister's femi-necklace.
1517
01:24:45,036 --> 01:24:46,060
What?
1518
01:24:46,938 --> 01:24:48,166
(GROANS)
1519
01:24:48,439 --> 01:24:50,964
Hey, how come I can't
read your thoughts anymore?
1520
01:24:51,075 --> 01:24:52,201
(GRUNTS)
1521
01:24:52,310 --> 01:24:56,440
I shall avenge you, Hutch Waterfall.
1522
01:24:58,550 --> 01:24:59,949
(SCREAMS)
1523
01:25:01,452 --> 01:25:06,048
After all these eons,
the Dark Ones are no more.
1524
01:25:06,157 --> 01:25:10,617
Will you preserve their
DNA, O Great Encyclopod?
1525
01:25:12,096 --> 01:25:15,395
I suppose I should.
Wait, where did it go?
1526
01:25:16,267 --> 01:25:17,734
(SLURPING)
1527
01:25:19,103 --> 01:25:20,070
What?
1528
01:25:20,338 --> 01:25:25,071
Well, at any rate, I shall
preserve the DNA of Homo sapiens.
1529
01:25:31,182 --> 01:25:34,276
I thought you only saved the
DNA of endangered species.
1530
01:25:34,385 --> 01:25:35,352
Farewell.
1531
01:25:37,689 --> 01:25:38,883
I guess he didn't hear me.
1532
01:25:38,990 --> 01:25:43,051
Well, looks like that wraps everything
up in a nice big, old, fat sack of...
1533
01:25:43,161 --> 01:25:47,894
I hereby arrest you
fugitives on 53 counts of fugivity.
1534
01:25:47,999 --> 01:25:51,491
Kif, round them up,
and spare me the weary sigh for once.
1535
01:25:52,337 --> 01:25:53,304
Kif.
1536
01:25:54,205 --> 01:25:55,570
KIF: Wait for me.
1537
01:26:09,087 --> 01:26:13,285
Well, this is the end. There was so
many things I wanted to say to you.
1538
01:26:13,391 --> 01:26:14,858
Like what?
1539
01:26:14,959 --> 01:26:18,986
Like this is not the end.
But mostly just, I love you, Leela.
1540
01:26:19,097 --> 01:26:21,258
(LOUD BANG)
1541
01:26:21,432 --> 01:26:26,460
Maybe I waited too long to say this,
but I love you, too. Wormhole!
1542
01:26:27,705 --> 01:26:31,197
Sweet topology of
cosmology, it's huge!
1543
01:26:31,309 --> 01:26:35,837
If we fly into it, it could take
us trillions of light years away.
1544
01:26:35,947 --> 01:26:38,472
There's no knowing if we'll ever return.
1545
01:26:38,583 --> 01:26:40,949
What do we do?
Should we go for it?
1546
01:26:44,589 --> 01:26:48,821
Into the breach, meatbags.
Or not. Whatever.
1547
01:26:48,926 --> 01:26:51,952
ALL: Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go, go.
1548
01:26:52,063 --> 01:26:54,554
Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go.