1
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:15,931
(ZAPPING)

2
00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:18,600
(ELECTRONIC PULSING)

3
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,406
(BURBLING)

4
00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:42,249
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

5
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:45,878
(CAMERA CLICKS)

6
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,763
Yoy and I will be reborn

7
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,806
In a fytyre place and time

8
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:03,312
If everything our
Hindu brethren
say is true

9
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:07,024
In an age of
things that hover

10
00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:10,069
You and I will
still be lovers

11
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,904
And we'll
say to ourselves

12
00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:14,198
That was then
and this is, too

13
00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:15,616
Doo-doo-be-doo, Doo-doo

14
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:18,786
'Cause we'll still find
the happening hot spots

15
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:21,914
We'll still cruise
the cool casinos

16
00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:24,500
You'll still
fly me to the moon

17
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,752
Although the moon
to which you fly me

18
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:28,629
Could be Phobos or Deimos

19
00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:31,215
The psychic worms from
Rigel nine

20
00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,300
Who control
everything we do

21
00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:34,885
Will make us think
that was then

22
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:39,181
And 3010 is exactly
the same as 1962

23
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,725
Don't expect any
changes, my friend

24
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:46,188
That was then
and this is, too

25
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:57,616
Wow, Mars Vegas.
Long live
the eternal city.

26
00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,494
Two, one, zero!

27
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,455
(PEOPLE CHEERING)

28
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,374
Rest in hell, Crapville!

29
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:15,467
Out here in the desert,
we're gonna build
bigger, better Vegas.

30
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:19,012
Bathtubs size of oceans,
hookers size of bouncers.

31
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,639
(BLUBBERS) Hamburger!

32
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,769
ANNOUNCER:
Stand clear of
the closing jaws.

33
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:28,188
(IMITATES WARNING CHIME)

34
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:35,654
BENDER: Yo, you need any
girders bent, I know a guy.

35
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,823
So what's gonna
be over there, Dad?

36
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:39,658
LEO: That?
That the oasis.

37
00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:43,662
Future site
of Oasis Hotel.

38
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:48,333
(LAUGHS) Take that,
you stupid Mother Nature.

39
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,418
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

40
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,920
Okay. Let's hit him hard.

41
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:57,384
(SINGING) This
land is your land
This land is my land

42
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,469
Who are you noisy women?

43
00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:03,974
I'm Frida Waterfall,
leader of the Greenorita
Eco-Feminist Collective,

44
00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:08,103
and we will not
let you man-doze this
beautifuI gyno-desert.

45
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,939
Well, I'm Leo Wong,
and I say, "Boom."

46
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,691
(WOMEN SCREAMING)

47
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,234
(WOMEN GRUNTING)

48
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,777
(BODIES THUDDING)

49
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,448
(GASPS)

50
00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,533
(ELECTRlClTY CRACKLES)

51
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:27,706
Hey, what happened
to my femi-necklace?
And where's my mega-fem?

52
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,124
(SCREAMS)

53
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,961
Is he badly hurt,
Dr. Zoidberg?

54
00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:36,048
I don't quite know
how to say this.

55
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,051
(SOBBING) Fry is dead!

56
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,136
(ALL SOBBING)

57
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:42,346
(GRUNTS)

58
00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:43,639
(GROANS)

59
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,682
Wait, not dead.
The other thing.

60
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,226
Damn eco-broads!

61
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:50,979
You can't even spray
for eagles without
upsetting these kooks.

62
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,522
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

63
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,274
(SCREAMS)

64
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:56,985
Now, hang on.
Before you do construction,

65
00:03:57,070 --> 00:04:00,072
don't you have to make
sure you're not harming
any native species?

66
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:02,282
You mean, cursory
environmental survey?

67
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,493
Already done!
By top scientist.

68
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:09,248
Oh, my, yes.
You've got the
go-ahead, Mr. Wong.

69
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,583
This place is deader
than last year's cat.

70
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,001
No, it's not!

71
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:16,505
There's
precious life right
here in this scum puddle.

72
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,215
Ah!

73
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:21,593
Cyprinodon martius.
The desert muck leech.

74
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:26,265
Amazingly,
the entire species lives
in this one tiny stinkhole.

75
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:30,185
Killing these will
be so much easier than
exterminating those ponies.

76
00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:31,770
(IMITATING PONY TROTTING)

77
00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:32,854
(IMITATES GUNFIRE)

78
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,815
(IMITATES NEIGHING)

79
00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:36,024
Wait a second.

80
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:39,361
Leeches
may not be cuddly
like pandas or tribbles,

81
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:41,488
but these
poor endangered
creatures deserve...

82
00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:42,823
(SCREAMS)

83
00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:44,408
Get off me!

84
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:48,620
I'll get it with my trusty
foot cups: Stompy and Smashy.

85
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:49,746
(GRUNTING)

86
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:52,791
No, don't kill it!
We have to...

87
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,084
(SCREAMING)

88
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:03,176
There. They're not
endangered anymore.
They're extinct.

89
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,430
No, they're not.
I saved this one.

90
00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,432
And I'm gonna raise
it and care for it,

91
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,517
so the world will forever
know what it's lost.

92
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:13,312
(SCREAMING)
You freaking slime wad!

93
00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:20,777
No. I killed it.
It was the last
of its kind.

94
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:21,987
(SCREAMS)

95
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:25,115
Mother (BLEEP).
Let go of me, you...

96
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:29,619
Poor thing.

97
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:30,954
(SCREAMS)

98
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,541
(GROANS WEAKLY)

99
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:37,210
Tell you what, Fry.
You all promise
not to sue me,

100
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:41,006
I give you token
for free entry in
poker tournament.

101
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,549
He took it,
you all saw it!

102
00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:46,553
Maybe we did, maybe we didn't.
What's in it for me, Bender?

103
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,848
Okay, okay.
Come back when
New Vegas opens,

104
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:51,308
I give you
all free rooms,

105
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:54,519
free dinner and
free tickets to
Celine Dion.

106
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:58,273
Lose the
Celine Dion tickets and
you got yourself a deal.

107
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:01,234
All right, damn it, done!

108
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,319
(CHEERING)

109
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:03,904
All right, I scored.

110
00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:11,661
(SLOT MACHINES CLINKING)

111
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:15,624
Look out, Vegas,
I've got a system.

112
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,710
(LAUGHING)

113
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:19,836
Oh.

114
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,129
I'm bankrupt.

115
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,925
(CHUCKLES)
You said it, Hermes.
He is pathetic, but lovable.

116
00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:27,636
Yup. What? I said
no such thing, man.

117
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:32,099
I am not acting
weird, Leela. Why is
everyone talking at once?

118
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,226
Fry, calm down
and stop braining.

119
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:35,602
Yeah, Fry,
maybe you need...

120
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:38,480
You're right, Amy!
Maybe I do need
some fresh air.

121
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,025
Man, I'm worried about him.

122
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:45,195
But not enough
to stop gambling for
even a single second.

123
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:51,743
You win, damn it!

124
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:52,911
(BELL RINGING)

125
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,037
(BENDER LAUGHING)

126
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,415
It's all in the wrist.

127
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,256
(HORNS HONKING)

128
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,842
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

129
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,554
Voices always yelling.

130
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,806
Who said that?
I'm not insane.

131
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:14,975
Stop it.
Stop talking in me!

132
00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:16,143
(PANICKED GASPING)

133
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:19,104
Voices bothering
you, man?
I've been there.

134
00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:21,440
You need one
of these doodangs.

135
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,566
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

136
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:23,942
A foil hat?
Of course, he
likes pastrami.

137
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:26,653
What about
the dog's testicles?

138
00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:28,655
(CONVERSATlONS STOP)

139
00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:31,450
Hey, it worked.
The voices stopped.

140
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:34,411
They've got
a huge selection
of carburetors...

141
00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:35,704
Hang on. Hang on.

142
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,622
(CLATTERING)

143
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:40,750
(SlGHS)

144
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,794
That's better.
My name's Hutch.

145
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:46,298
Hi, Hutch.
So what's with the
obnoxious, shrieking voices?

146
00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:48,216
Are my fillings
picking up The View?

147
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,342
No, man.

148
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:53,180
Truth is,
it's other
people's thoughts.

149
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:54,514
You're a mind reader.

150
00:07:56,559 --> 00:08:00,604
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Although, actually, it
was sort of obvious.

151
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:02,898
You don't
believe me?
Take off the helmet.

152
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,065
I believe you.

153
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,317
Seriously, do it.

154
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:06,401
(SlGHS)

155
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:10,197
HUTCH: Testing, testing.
Do you read me?

156
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:11,615
FRY: Loud and clear.

157
00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:12,657
What?

158
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,826
I said, "Loud and clear."

159
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,870
Only I said it with my
thinker, not my talker.

160
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,121
Whoa!

161
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,832
Freaky. Why can't l
read your thoughts?

162
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,292
I don't know. Wait.

163
00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:23,960
What's that about
a secret society?

164
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,545
Never mind that.

165
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,507
Just keep the foil
on and you'll be okay.

166
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:33,178
Also, it'll keep
the Dark Ones from
incinerating your brain.

167
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:34,221
That's a plus.

168
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:37,933
And don't ever, ever, ever
tell anyone you can read
minds,

169
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:41,228
or the Dark Ones
will get you like that.

170
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:44,814
Hang on, pizza grease.

171
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,525
Like that.

172
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:47,609
(WAlLS)

173
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,993
(ELECTRONICA MUSIC PLAYING)

174
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,087
Jeez, get a load of
the batteries on her.

175
00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:09,130
I'd like to get
my clamps on those.

176
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,882
Give her a jump,
you know what I mean?

177
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:11,967
(CACKLING)

178
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,134
Whoa, whoa.

179
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:16,179
Show some
decorum there, Clamps.
This ain't no strip show.

180
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:19,724
This is
a beguiling display
of the pornographic arts.

181
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:22,310
Yo, Skip, I can
see a guy's butt.

182
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:27,023
Oh, Michael,
this is the perfect end
to a perfect honeymoon.

183
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,483
I love you so much.

184
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:29,901
(BOTH GASP)
Is this seat taken?

185
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,236
Actually, we...

186
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,238
Slide me
those chicken wings.

187
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:36,449
So what
part of Podunk
you rubes from?

188
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,576
The north-eastern.

189
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:38,994
(BELCHES LOUDLY)

190
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:41,413
(SENSUOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

191
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,506
(CHEERING)

192
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,178
ANNOUNCER ON PA:
Monsieurs et mademoiselles,

193
00:09:57,263 --> 00:10:04,019
our circus of the senses
now arrives by steamboat
in New Orleans, circa 2873.

194
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:07,731
The muted
lament of a trombone
resonates through the fog,

195
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:12,777
which lingers even now,
months after the attack
of the fog monster.

196
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:16,531
With but one hope of
restoring Gearoticus
to his throne,

197
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:20,452
our sensuaI fate rests
in the gyrations of

198
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,038
Fanny.

199
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,374
Oh.

200
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,088
(STAMMERING)

201
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:37,969
(GASPS)

202
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,804
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

203
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,100
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

204
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,686
(HUMMING JAUNTILY)

205
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,065
Yes?

206
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,858
I'm Bender.
Let's do it.

207
00:10:58,449 --> 00:10:59,491
(COCKS GUN)

208
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:00,617
Who is it, the Feds?

209
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:04,537
(GASPS)
Aren't you the Donbot,
head of the Robot Mafia?

210
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,582
Allegedly.
And this is my
beloved wife, Fanny,

211
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,418
whose honor I would
proudly defend with
a power drill.

212
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,712
Well,
I gotta go
drown a stoolie.

213
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,590
(MOANING)

214
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:21,930
I'm gonna be in here a
while, so do me a favor
and drive my wife home.

215
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:26,893
It's one of them self-driving
cars, so just sit in the back
and do whatever.

216
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,020
(MOANING)

217
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,941
Oh, Bender, your
lips are intoxicating.

218
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:36,277
It's like kissing an
ashtray full of hot wings.

219
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,530
(BODIES CLUNK)

220
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:40,281
(BENDER EXCLAIMS)

221
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:46,287
(OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS)

222
00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:48,832
(CONVERSATlONS STOP)

223
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:52,585
My God, I really
can read minds.
I have a superpower!

224
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,714
There must be something
great I can do with this.

225
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:56,881
(GASPS)

226
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:02,929
Hello, ladies,
I can read your thoughts.

227
00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:04,973
(BLOWS THUDDING)

228
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,309
Oh, wait,
that's invisibility.

229
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,731
(GASPS)

230
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:16,568
FRY: Poker. With my
mind-reading abilities
and my invisibility...

231
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,154
Wait, no, just
the mind reading.
I can't lose!

232
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,740
Sign me up for the
tournament, please.

233
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:26,077
Okey-doke, Jiffy Pop.
Entry fee's 50,000
smackers.

234
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:27,454
50,000?

235
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,582
Drat, all I have
is my life savings

236
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:34,252
and a token for free
admission to this
poker tournament.

237
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:35,628
Close enough.

238
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,256
(MELLOW JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

239
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,341
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

240
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:45,930
You're having an affair
with the head of the
robot mafia's wife?

241
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,308
BENDER: Yup, this is
her I'm making out with.

242
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:50,435
(MOANING)

243
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:51,936
Bender, are you crazy?

244
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,773
No,
it's Fry who's
crazy in this one.

245
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,566
I'm not crazy.

246
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,151
(SCOFFS) You sure
you're okay, Fry?

247
00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:00,695
I mean, you do have
tin foil on your head.

248
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,947
So? You got
a leech on your neck.

249
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:06,576
And speaking of sucking
on your neck, want to
go to a movie later?

250
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:09,120
Hey, there! How are
you folks doing tonight?

251
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:10,955
Great.
What are the specials?

252
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,834
Well, let's see now.
We've got a wonderful
grizzly bear

253
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,378
that's been dipped
in cornmeal and
lightly tormented.

254
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,588
Questions?

255
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:19,798
What was the bear's name?

256
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:21,007
Jojo.

257
00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:22,675
Ooh, I'll have him.

258
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:25,637
(STARTLED GASP)

259
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,472
Hide me!
Hey, Donbot,

260
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:30,683
ain't that your wife what
with you had that wedding
with?

261
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:34,938
Donbot, honey!
What a pleasant shock!

262
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:39,484
I was just
having dinner alone, when
suddenly you walk in on us.

263
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:40,652
Alone, huh?

264
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:41,820
(BENDER EXCLAlMS)

265
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,404
(BENDER GROANS)

266
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,323
Where am l?

267
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:50,328
I was exploring a wormhole
through space many light
years from this restaurant,

268
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:53,248
when suddenly I was
surrounded by darkness.

269
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,041
Hot, sexy darkness.

270
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:56,292
(PURRS SENSUALLY)

271
00:13:56,377 --> 00:14:01,339
Why, hello,
Donbot! Hello, miss,
have we met? I'm Bender.

272
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:03,925
The world's
most sexual robot.

273
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:07,262
I mean, the world's most
boundary-respecting robot.

274
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:11,015
Nice to see you, Bender.
Welcome back to our universe.

275
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,893
Listen, sugar, I stuck up
the Burlington Coat Factory

276
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:17,105
and got you a
little something.
It's a $49 value.

277
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,606
(SQUEALING)

278
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,776
Donbot, I love you!

279
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,111
(WHlSPERING) Not really.

280
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:24,612
Man, this is great!

281
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:28,283
I always wanted to
nail a dame in a fur
coat, and now's my chance.

282
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:34,247
I mean, if you'll
introduce me to one, sir.
One as sexy as you, baby!

283
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,915
Bender out.

284
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,417
(HUMMING HAPPILY)

285
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:46,050
I never felt
so alive, Bender.

286
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:49,554
Listen, this
turquoise-encrusted
bra is worth 50 grand.

287
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:52,891
Let's sell it and run off
before the Donbot gets wise.

288
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:58,021
(SIGHS) No. It will take
a lot more money than that
to make a girl like you happy.

289
00:14:58,105 --> 00:14:59,188
No, it won't.

290
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:00,398
Yeah, it will. Shut up!

291
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:06,362
We'll run off,
but not till after I win the
Universal Poker Championship!

292
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:07,447
(GASPS)

293
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:10,033
One entry, please.

294
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:13,536
Bender, no!
You can't beat the best
players in the universe.

295
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,204
You're not lucky enough.

296
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:18,416
Oh, no? I'm 40% lucky.

297
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,920
The scrap metal I'm
made from included a
truckload of horseshoes

298
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:26,341
from the luckiest racehorses
in Mexico, who had just been
sent to a glue factory.

299
00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:28,593
They don't sound
so lucky to me.

300
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:30,845
Not without their shoes.

301
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,515
(CROWD MURMURING)

302
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:36,476
(BUBBLING)

303
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,810
(HlSSING)

304
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,605
(CROWD EXCLAlMS)

305
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:42,315
WOMAN: That's great!

306
00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,361
(HUMMING)

307
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:50,823
Here, Bendy, take this.
It will give you
70% more luck.

308
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,660
It's the Donbot's
lucky robot's foot.

309
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:57,121
All right!
With two kinds of
luck, I can't lose.

310
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,624
No, wait, three.
I stepped on a leprechaun.

311
00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:01,376
(TIRES SCREECHING)

312
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:03,711
Yo, you see this
over here over there?

313
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,713
I'm powering up the clamps.

314
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:09,968
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

315
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,761
Let us not rush to judgment.

316
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:16,057
But, Skip, that was your
lucky robot's foot what
came off of your lucky leg.

317
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:19,686
While it is true that
I did wake up with only
one foot this morning,

318
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,814
there is no proof
that my beloved
Fanny was involved.

319
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:25,149
Aside from the hacksaw
I found under her pillow.

320
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:28,569
Well, what about
that Bender guy? You want l
should give him the clamps?

321
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:32,657
Not yet, Clamps.
Only one thing can prove
that he has my lucky foot.

322
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:35,326
Torture with the clamps
or a clamp-like device?

323
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:39,664
No. We are gonna
sit tight and see if he
wins the poker tournament.

324
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:42,458
He does, that proves
he's packing my lucky foot,

325
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:44,627
in which event...

326
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,129
The clamps!

327
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,424
Or a clamp-like device.

328
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:56,222
JILLETTE: Welcome viewers
who fell asleep with the
TV on!

329
00:16:56,306 --> 00:17:00,518
It's the 3009 no-limit
hold 'em championship.

330
00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:02,478
(CHEERING)

331
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,939
I'm the massive head
of Penn Jillette,

332
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:08,067
and here with
a color commentary,
my partner Teller.

333
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:11,738
Our act really didn't
change much when he died.

334
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:13,865
Pardon me,
I'm new to this game.

335
00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:16,367
Is this duffle bag big
enough for all your money?

336
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,744
(LAUGHING)

337
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,663
Bender?
Oh, boogers. We're
in the same tournament.

338
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,999
Quick, get your entry fee
back before I bankrupt you.

339
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,585
(SPLUTTERS)
ln your dreams, nutloaf.

340
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,047
Bite my shiny metal hat.

341
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,972
JlLLETTE: Tex Connecticut,
the pride of Kansas City,
first to act.

342
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:41,517
Smiley Spiff, up next.

343
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,940
Looks like
Boobs Vanderbilt
has a decent pair.

344
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:49,817
AIso, she's got two eights.

345
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:56,157
And Bender Rodriguez
picks up a Iucky deaI
right off the bat.

346
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:04,415
BENDER: Two aces.
I'm thinking guitar solo.

347
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,876
(MIMICKING GUITAR SOLO)

348
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,462
I fold.

349
00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:14,217
Holy crap! A stunning play by
mentally ill newcomer Philip
Fry.

350
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:17,720
It's almost
as if he knew
Bender had two aces.

351
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,972
Bender has two aces?
I'm out.

352
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,557
I'm out.
I'm out.

353
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:22,975
(LAUGHS)

354
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,310
Suck my luck!

355
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,564
See this gun?

356
00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:32,193
That's what I'm gonna
do to Bender if he wins.

357
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:39,033
(COOING)

358
00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:45,456
All in.
Call my mighty
bid at your peril.

359
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,416
(GROWLING)

360
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,546
My cards are awfuI,
and I need a hug.

361
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,382
I call your bluff.

362
00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:58,636
(GROWLING)

363
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,471
I shall annihilate...

364
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:01,597
(SOBBING)

365
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:05,560
I just wanted to
make my daddy proud.

366
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:09,480
Well, you didn't.
I want you and your
junk moved out by Monday.

367
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,440
JILLETTE: It's getting
pretty intense, folks.

368
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,985
Based on the state
of decomposition
of Teller's head,

369
00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:16,821
we're now in hour
1 9 of the tournament.

370
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:20,324
And the first bad deal
of the night for Bender.

371
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:24,245
Hey, pal, help me out here.
This is the worst possible
hand, right?

372
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:25,329
I'm all in.

373
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,373
All in! I mean,
fold. Whatever.

374
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:33,880
Well, Bender's
luck just ran out. No card
can save him from elimination.

375
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:35,798
(GROANS)

376
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,259
Oh, my gourds! He's dead.

377
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:39,677
(GROANS)

378
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:41,804
21 , winner!

379
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,014
(WHOOPING)

380
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:46,934
I'm so full of luck,
it's shooting out
like luck diarrhea.

381
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,146
JILLETTE:
Wake up, poker fans!

382
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:54,775
We're down to our final
two players in heads-up
action for the Championship.

383
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,944
Your perspective, Teller?

384
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,054
All in.

385
00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:24,472
(ALL GASP)

386
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:26,807
But you didn't even
look at your cards!

387
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:31,437
Looking at one's cards is
a crutch for players who
rely on skill.

388
00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:34,982
(BENDER SCATTING
UPBEAT TUNE)

389
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:37,610
(GULPS)

390
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:39,695
Any day now, Fry.
You in or out?

391
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:41,656
(STAMMERING)

392
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:46,661
What's the matter, Fry,
you scared? Or just crazy?

393
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,079
(LAUGHS)

394
00:20:48,163 --> 00:20:50,248
All right, all in.

395
00:20:55,545 --> 00:20:58,256
Yes! Four aces!

396
00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,757
Ah-ah-ah.

397
00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:03,386
Read 'em and weep,
and then tell me
what they are.

398
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:08,182
Two kings. And with three
on the board, that gives
Bender five kings.

399
00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:09,684
(AUDlENCE GASPS)

400
00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:11,435
But how is that...

401
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,812
I don't believe it.

402
00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:15,815
Bender has just been
dealt the King of Beers,

403
00:21:15,899 --> 00:21:19,402
a coaster from
the bar that somehow
got mixed into the deck.

404
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:20,861
But it still counts!

405
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,780
(CHEERING)

406
00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:25,449
LEO: Bender win
the Championship!

407
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:27,451
(MUNCHING)

408
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,036
That's some good money.

409
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,788
(BELCHING)

410
00:21:30,872 --> 00:21:32,581
You did it, Bender.

411
00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:34,959
You're the greatest.

412
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,919
Tell me something
I don't know, sweetass.

413
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:38,004
Now, let's boogie.

414
00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:41,966
We'll be in Space Tahiti
before the Donbot knows
what hit him.

415
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,637
Now I am suspicious.

416
00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:52,560
(BENDER GRUNTING)

417
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:59,066
Okay, we finished digging this
shallow grave. Can we go now?

418
00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:37,438
(SOBBING)

419
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:40,107
Poor Bender left me
one last voicemail

420
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:43,944
before the Robot Mafia
buried him in the desert.

421
00:22:45,113 --> 00:22:48,240
BENDER: Fry, old friend,
before I die,
I just wanted to say...

422
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:49,367
(BEEP)

423
00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:51,577
Hang on, I'm getting
another call. Hello?

424
00:22:51,661 --> 00:22:52,745
(GUNFIRE)

425
00:22:52,829 --> 00:22:54,246
(BENDER SCREAMING)

426
00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:58,667
Line up, people!
Everyone take a shovel
and one sixth of the planet.

427
00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:03,339
We'll meet back
here in 50 years, our bodies
broken and our lives wasted.

428
00:23:03,423 --> 00:23:05,466
And you say these
are free shovels?

429
00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:07,009
(RUMBLING)

430
00:23:12,432 --> 00:23:13,557
I'm back, baby.

431
00:23:13,642 --> 00:23:16,352
Bender! I thought the
Robot Mafia killed you.

432
00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:20,356
Nah, they just
shot us and buried us
a few times as a warning.

433
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,358
Bender was so brave.

434
00:23:22,442 --> 00:23:25,736
He never stopped making out
with me the whole time they
were shooting us.

435
00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:27,071
I sure didn't.

436
00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:30,241
I gotta get back
to my husband, baby.
Will I see you tonight?

437
00:23:30,325 --> 00:23:31,534
Probably not.

438
00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:40,418
It's a 14-footer
with a clown hazard.

439
00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:42,378
What club you recommend,
Baggy?

440
00:23:42,462 --> 00:23:45,047
As on every hole,
I suggest the putter.

441
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:51,011
Your golf club sure
is classy, Mr. Wong.
Naked statue classy.

442
00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:54,765
(CURSING IN MANDARIN)

443
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:56,350
It is very nice.

444
00:23:56,435 --> 00:24:00,521
I just wish Amy and I didn't
have to wear these sexist
badges on our melons.

445
00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:03,691
We're lucky even to
play as guests, Leela.

446
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:07,027
Dad's club
has a very strict
"No girls allowed" policy.

447
00:24:08,029 --> 00:24:09,071
(CURSING IN MANDARIN)

448
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:10,406
That doesn't seem fair.

449
00:24:10,490 --> 00:24:11,615
It really is.

450
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:13,784
Everybody knows women
don't have the focus

451
00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,954
to play miniature golf
at a professional level.

452
00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:20,458
But that's the
best shot of the day!

453
00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:22,793
Is that my ball?
I think that my ball.

454
00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:25,754
(CURSING IN MANDARIN)

455
00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:28,424
Great putt, Dad.

456
00:24:28,508 --> 00:24:29,884
Okay, we're done.

457
00:24:31,219 --> 00:24:34,680
Mr. Wong, how do you keep
this place so green in
the middle of the desert?

458
00:24:34,764 --> 00:24:36,307
Doesn't that waste
a lot of water?

459
00:24:36,391 --> 00:24:40,144
Nah, we got plenty water,
pumped directly from
flamingo lake.

460
00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:42,396
(SQUAWKING)

461
00:24:46,401 --> 00:24:48,068
They'll be fine.

462
00:24:50,822 --> 00:24:54,158
LEO: Oh, yeah,
I love miniature golf.
Love everything about it,

463
00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:56,202
except how damn
miniature it is.

464
00:24:56,286 --> 00:24:59,955
That's why I'm building
the universe's biggest
miniature golf course.

465
00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:02,124
(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)

466
00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:05,711
This the first tee.

467
00:25:05,795 --> 00:25:07,004
Where's the hole?

468
00:25:07,088 --> 00:25:08,839
On Pluto's moon, Hydra.

469
00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:13,135
It's a six-billion-mile
par-two. Tough shot,
even for a man.

470
00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:14,678
(GROANS)

471
00:25:15,430 --> 00:25:16,931
(WHIRRING)

472
00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:32,530
LEO: Around the sun.
Bank off Jupiter.

473
00:25:32,864 --> 00:25:35,074
And right into the...

474
00:25:35,283 --> 00:25:37,368
(CURSING IN MANDARIN)

475
00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:38,953
I'll be right back.

476
00:25:51,174 --> 00:25:52,216
(GRUNTING)

477
00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:54,134
(CURSING IN MANDARIN)

478
00:25:55,303 --> 00:25:57,137
(GRUNTING)

479
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,724
It dropped in!
Put me down for a two.

480
00:26:02,102 --> 00:26:03,310
Two.

481
00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:09,567
Keep in mind,
that just the first hole.

482
00:26:09,651 --> 00:26:13,529
For full course,
we gonna bulldoze this
entire arm of the Milky Way.

483
00:26:13,613 --> 00:26:18,325
What? You're gonna
wipe out 1 0% of the galaxy
for a stupid golf course?

484
00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:21,870
First of all, it 1 2%.
Second, yes, you betcha.

485
00:26:21,955 --> 00:26:25,583
But you have no idea
what life forms might
be evolving out there.

486
00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:28,419
That's exactly
why I'm hiring an
impartial scientist

487
00:26:28,503 --> 00:26:32,089
to perform an environmental
survey. That's him in the
money shower.

488
00:26:32,173 --> 00:26:34,133
(GlGGLING)

489
00:26:35,468 --> 00:26:39,638
FRY: Delivery boy's log.
Having fallen asleep on
what I thought was the toilet,

490
00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:43,017
I awoke to find
the environmentaI
survey in progress.

491
00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:45,603
Status reports,
Science Officer.

492
00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:48,397
Zilcho. No sign of
life or intelligence.

493
00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:50,190
(CACKLING)

494
00:26:52,694 --> 00:26:54,194
BENDER:
Just like Fry on a date.

495
00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:55,613
(LAUGHS) Hey!

496
00:26:55,697 --> 00:26:58,574
Okay, so we haven't
found any life yet.

497
00:26:58,658 --> 00:27:03,245
I still don't see why
you men can't be happy with
regular-sized miniature golf.

498
00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:07,249
Leela, evolution
has programmed our
fabulous male brains

499
00:27:07,334 --> 00:27:11,712
to take anything anybody
else thinks is important
and make it bigger.

500
00:27:13,256 --> 00:27:16,800
Have you seen my
new 301 -inch TV?

501
00:27:16,885 --> 00:27:21,388
ANNOUNCER: Hypnotoad
is brought to you by the
MagnaPhallix 302-inch TV.

502
00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:23,223
It's bigger!

503
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:24,600
Oh, hell!

504
00:27:26,811 --> 00:27:28,437
(ALARM BLARING)

505
00:27:28,521 --> 00:27:31,273
Captain, I'm detecting
life on the spock-o-scope!

506
00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:32,358
(GASPS)

507
00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:51,126
It's amazing. It's like
a textbook on evolution.

508
00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:52,252
Except in Kansas.

509
00:27:52,337 --> 00:27:55,005
But isn't
Mr. Wong building
the 1 8th hole here?

510
00:27:55,090 --> 00:27:56,674
And the golf
pants museum?

511
00:27:56,758 --> 00:28:00,177
lndeed so.
This whole area
will be incinerated

512
00:28:00,261 --> 00:28:03,263
when he implodes that
sun there into a black hole.

513
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:05,099
That beautiful violet star?

514
00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:08,519
It's so you can't
keep your ball at
the end of the game.

515
00:28:08,603 --> 00:28:10,187
Yo, that's messed up.

516
00:28:10,271 --> 00:28:14,316
Well, there won't be
any imploding once they
read our environmental review.

517
00:28:14,401 --> 00:28:15,442
Right, Professor?

518
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,111
Twaddle-squat.

519
00:28:17,195 --> 00:28:20,739
There's no
scientific consensus
that life is important.

520
00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:22,658
Yeah. Life, schmife.

521
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:26,662
FEMALE ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Approved for demolition.

522
00:28:26,746 --> 00:28:28,539
It's you and me, ponytail.

523
00:28:28,623 --> 00:28:29,957
(PONYTAIL CRACKS)

524
00:28:32,001 --> 00:28:33,585
(TRILLING)

525
00:28:36,631 --> 00:28:37,756
We're here, Mr. President.

526
00:28:37,841 --> 00:28:39,383
(BLUBBERING HOWL)

527
00:28:39,467 --> 00:28:41,510
Let's play some mini-golf.

528
00:28:42,053 --> 00:28:46,140
Now, just give
it a light tap, Agnew.
No, no, no, just a light...

529
00:28:46,224 --> 00:28:47,224
(ROARS)

530
00:28:49,602 --> 00:28:51,895
Now for a triple clam
dip, with a double...

531
00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,063
Ow!

532
00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:54,356
(PEOPLE GASPING)

533
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:55,441
(GRUNTS)

534
00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:56,775
(GROWLS)

535
00:28:56,860 --> 00:29:01,530
Tough luck, Agnew.
Looks like you and Wong
owe me a Charleston Chew.

536
00:29:03,241 --> 00:29:04,366
(BOTH GASP)

537
00:29:06,119 --> 00:29:08,120
Shut up and hear our wisdom.
Shut up and hear our wisdom.

538
00:29:08,204 --> 00:29:10,122
Save the ecosystem.
Save the ecosystem.

539
00:29:10,206 --> 00:29:13,876
(ALL CHANTING) Shut up
and hear our wisdom!
Save the ecosystem!

540
00:29:14,210 --> 00:29:17,171
What gives, Wong?
You said no chicks allowed.

541
00:29:17,255 --> 00:29:18,255
(GROWLS)

542
00:29:18,798 --> 00:29:21,884
We are the Greenorita
Eco-Feminist Collective,

543
00:29:21,968 --> 00:29:25,429
and we will not let you...
What was it again?

544
00:29:25,513 --> 00:29:28,640
We will not let you implode
the violet dwarf star

545
00:29:28,725 --> 00:29:35,105
at galactic coordinates
1 67.84, -58.03, mark 948.

546
00:29:35,356 --> 00:29:37,649
Already approved,
you cackling hens.

547
00:29:37,734 --> 00:29:41,445
So get out, or I'll have
vice-president Agnew's
headless body throw you out.

548
00:29:41,529 --> 00:29:43,447
I'd like to see him try.

549
00:29:43,531 --> 00:29:46,617
Me, too. Should look
funny. Sic 'em, Agnew.

550
00:29:46,701 --> 00:29:48,202
(ROARING)

551
00:29:48,328 --> 00:29:49,703
(SCREAMING)

552
00:29:51,539 --> 00:29:53,665
NlXON: Runaway golf cart!

553
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:55,459
Look out, Agnew!

554
00:29:55,543 --> 00:29:56,543
(YELLING)

555
00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:57,711
(CRUNCHING)

556
00:29:57,796 --> 00:29:58,921
Whoa!
Aah!

557
00:29:59,005 --> 00:30:00,214
(CRACKLING)

558
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:04,676
LEELA: Is he okay?

559
00:30:05,762 --> 00:30:07,179
No pulse.

560
00:30:07,722 --> 00:30:12,476
They killed the headless
remains of Agnew.
Arrest them!

561
00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:17,898
All feministas
she-vacuate the premises.

562
00:30:17,982 --> 00:30:19,817
I mean "femises."

563
00:30:19,901 --> 00:30:21,235
(WOMEN PANTING)

564
00:30:23,780 --> 00:30:25,155
(BONES CRACKLING)

565
00:30:29,494 --> 00:30:31,411
My fellow Earthicans,

566
00:30:31,496 --> 00:30:35,040
these eco-crooks will
face the maximum sentence.

567
00:30:35,124 --> 00:30:37,835
For killing a headless
torso, that's six weeks.

568
00:30:38,044 --> 00:30:39,586
Well, this is embarrassing.

569
00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:43,340
Here I've been blabbing on
for years about killing
all humans,

570
00:30:43,424 --> 00:30:46,218
and who actually does
something about it?
Some chick.

571
00:30:46,302 --> 00:30:49,221
Leela's not a killer,
and she's not some chick.

572
00:30:49,305 --> 00:30:51,056
She's the chick I love.

573
00:30:51,140 --> 00:30:53,600
And don't tell her
I called her a chick,
or she'll kill me.

574
00:30:54,769 --> 00:30:56,770
(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

575
00:31:08,658 --> 00:31:11,076
Everyone stay
absolutely quiet!

576
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:12,369
That thing's on.
Turn it off!

577
00:31:12,453 --> 00:31:13,495
Oh, sorry.

578
00:31:13,580 --> 00:31:15,455
How do you turn it off?

579
00:31:15,540 --> 00:31:17,207
There. Did that do it?

580
00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:18,500
No. Stop it. Shut up.

581
00:31:18,585 --> 00:31:20,586
Here's the button here.

582
00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:22,212
(ALARM WAILING)

583
00:31:22,297 --> 00:31:23,922
And I think I...
Now I got it.

584
00:31:24,007 --> 00:31:25,299
(FEEDBACK SQUEALS)

585
00:31:25,383 --> 00:31:27,050
Let me give you a hand.

586
00:31:27,135 --> 00:31:28,760
(SHUSHING)

587
00:31:28,845 --> 00:31:30,053
This is awful.

588
00:31:30,138 --> 00:31:33,807
I never meant for our
protest to have any effect.
Now what do we do?

589
00:31:33,975 --> 00:31:36,977
Maybe we should just
surrender and serve
our six weeks in jail.

590
00:31:37,061 --> 00:31:40,647
Hey, yeah! We could do each
other's toenails and make
shivs.

591
00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:45,235
That's crazy.
We've done nothing wrong,

592
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:48,363
other than killing
and dismembering
the vice-president.

593
00:31:48,448 --> 00:31:50,574
We need to make
a choice, sisters.

594
00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:54,828
We can either keep pestering
criminals like Leo Wong
with silly slogans...

595
00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:56,538
Yeah.
Let's do that.

596
00:31:57,081 --> 00:32:00,584
Actually, I meant
that to be the less
preferable alternative.

597
00:32:00,668 --> 00:32:05,756
We can
either chant slogans
or we can take action.

598
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,466
What was the
first choice again?

599
00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:12,512
I choose to save the
environment by sabotaging
Leo Wong's golf course.

600
00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:14,264
Who's with me?

601
00:32:15,683 --> 00:32:17,100
Could we still
use our bullhorns?

602
00:32:17,185 --> 00:32:18,352
Absolutely.

603
00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:21,104
Bullhorns are a core
principle of eco-feminism.

604
00:32:21,189 --> 00:32:22,189
Then I'm in.

605
00:32:22,357 --> 00:32:24,441
(CHEERING)

606
00:32:24,525 --> 00:32:25,525
(SHUSHING)

607
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:27,903
Uh, take that

608
00:32:27,987 --> 00:32:29,446
Yeah, yeah

609
00:32:29,530 --> 00:32:31,114
Uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah

610
00:32:31,199 --> 00:32:33,825
Izzy, Izzy, ah
Zizah, zizah, zizah

611
00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:36,328
GirIs be taIkin'
Like they all rah, rah

612
00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:39,164
Who's ready to kick
some sweaty man-butt?

613
00:32:39,248 --> 00:32:41,041
(CHEERING)

614
00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:44,211
I've got my pointy
man-kicking shoes on.

615
00:32:44,295 --> 00:32:45,462
Those are cute.

616
00:32:45,546 --> 00:32:47,714
Aren't they?
I got them at Nine West.

617
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:50,884
Simmer down, warriors.
Full power to
the vagyroscope!

618
00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:56,223
(LOW WHIRRING)

619
00:33:00,561 --> 00:33:01,979
Those dirty rings.

620
00:33:02,063 --> 00:33:04,898
I tried soaking them out,
even blasting them out.

621
00:33:05,483 --> 00:33:07,401
(ENGINE REVVING)

622
00:33:13,408 --> 00:33:14,616
Are you sure about this?

623
00:33:14,701 --> 00:33:18,328
It would be better
for propaganda if we
weren't using refined sugar.

624
00:33:18,413 --> 00:33:22,374
It's okay. The potato
we're shoving in the
tailpipe is organic.

625
00:33:23,584 --> 00:33:25,043
(SPUTTERING)

626
00:33:26,587 --> 00:33:28,171
(HISSING)

627
00:33:28,756 --> 00:33:30,590
I smell sabotage.

628
00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:32,009
(SNIFFING)

629
00:33:32,093 --> 00:33:33,343
And potatoes.

630
00:33:33,553 --> 00:33:35,303
(CHEERING)

631
00:33:37,181 --> 00:33:40,350
Now, unfortunately,
the media is going to
put a negative spin on this,

632
00:33:40,435 --> 00:33:41,852
like when we
killed that guy,

633
00:33:41,936 --> 00:33:45,188
so to win public support,
we'll need a lovable mascot.

634
00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:46,898
(GROWLING)

635
00:33:48,109 --> 00:33:49,651
(SNARLING)

636
00:33:49,944 --> 00:33:51,153
(LAUGHS)

637
00:33:51,237 --> 00:33:54,072
Squirm all you want,
you nasty dumpling.

638
00:33:54,157 --> 00:33:57,659
One less species
for the universe,
one more breakfast for...

639
00:33:57,744 --> 00:33:58,827
Zoidberg?

640
00:33:58,911 --> 00:34:00,037
Leela.

641
00:34:00,121 --> 00:34:03,206
Me saving
things the leech.
Not the eating of it.

642
00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:06,460
Zoidberg, I'm very
surprised at you,
slightly.

643
00:34:08,004 --> 00:34:09,212
(SLURPING)

644
00:34:15,219 --> 00:34:16,845
Leela.

645
00:34:16,929 --> 00:34:18,555
Shh! I'm a fugitive.

646
00:34:18,639 --> 00:34:22,642
I know. I miss you so
much, Leela, even more
than when you were here.

647
00:34:22,977 --> 00:34:24,478
I miss you, too, Fry.

648
00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:26,855
And you probably think
what I'm doing is wrong.

649
00:34:26,939 --> 00:34:28,565
But it's something
I really care about...

650
00:34:28,649 --> 00:34:30,525
You don't have
to explain, Leela.

651
00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:33,487
You're you.
That's all I need to know.

652
00:34:36,282 --> 00:34:38,784
Goodbye, sweet goofbag.

653
00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:51,171
(SlGHS)

654
00:34:51,255 --> 00:34:53,256
I'll miss her, too, buddy.

655
00:34:53,341 --> 00:34:55,509
Dibs on her iPod.
Dibs on...

656
00:34:58,137 --> 00:35:00,722
Hey, Fry!
Long time, man.

657
00:35:00,807 --> 00:35:02,599
Hey, Hutch!
What have you been up to?

658
00:35:02,683 --> 00:35:04,935
Same old, same old.
Searching the dumpsters,

659
00:35:05,019 --> 00:35:08,230
protecting my thoughts
with tin foil, peeing
myself.

660
00:35:08,314 --> 00:35:09,731
So, what brings
you to Earth?

661
00:35:09,816 --> 00:35:13,610
It's top secret.
Hey, take off your helmet
and I'll think it to you.

662
00:35:14,070 --> 00:35:16,446
Okay. Here goes.

663
00:35:23,037 --> 00:35:24,538
(WHIRRING)

664
00:35:33,256 --> 00:35:34,756
(GROANING)

665
00:35:42,390 --> 00:35:44,474
Where are you? And me?

666
00:35:44,559 --> 00:35:49,104
The Great Hall of
the Ancient Legion
of Madfellows.

667
00:35:49,188 --> 00:35:50,147
Welcome, bro.

668
00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:51,648
Welcome, bro.
Welcome, bro.

669
00:35:51,732 --> 00:35:54,943
Sorry I bashed your
head in, buddy,
but I had to.

670
00:35:55,027 --> 00:35:58,613
You see, the fate of the
universe depends on you.

671
00:35:58,698 --> 00:36:00,240
Yeah, I get that a lot.

672
00:36:00,324 --> 00:36:02,701
The Grand Curator
will tell you more.

673
00:36:02,785 --> 00:36:04,244
Take me to him.

674
00:36:04,328 --> 00:36:05,996
Hey, man.
Hey.

675
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:07,664
So dig this, Fry.

676
00:36:07,748 --> 00:36:11,168
Our commune
has been monitoring
the universe's life energy

677
00:36:11,252 --> 00:36:16,381
for, like, a really long
time, and we're grokking
some super weird junk.

678
00:36:16,716 --> 00:36:19,843
I don't mean to
be rude, but it's kind of
hard to take you seriously

679
00:36:19,927 --> 00:36:22,387
when you say junk like
"grok" and "junk."

680
00:36:22,471 --> 00:36:23,680
What about "commune"?

681
00:36:23,764 --> 00:36:25,182
Especially "commune."

682
00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:28,018
Come on, it's the fate of the
universe, puff it up a little.

683
00:36:28,102 --> 00:36:30,228
Like you could say
your ancient order
is sensing

684
00:36:30,313 --> 00:36:32,939
deep upheaval in the
cosmic life energy field.

685
00:36:33,107 --> 00:36:35,275
(ALL MURMURING)

686
00:36:35,568 --> 00:36:41,323
Okay. I'll try.
So, like, a really,
really long time ago...

687
00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:44,993
Eons ago!

688
00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:47,579
(LAUGHS) Cool.

689
00:36:47,788 --> 00:36:53,627
Eons ago,
the life force we call
Chee permeated the universe.

690
00:36:56,005 --> 00:37:01,218
The Green Chee generated
a great upwelling
of life across the cosmos.

691
00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:03,595
But then,
for reasons unknown...

692
00:37:03,971 --> 00:37:06,223
Ooh. "Reasons unknown."

693
00:37:06,307 --> 00:37:09,267
Now that's the sort
of hook that grabs the
attention of me, the viewer.

694
00:37:09,352 --> 00:37:10,894
For reasons unknown...

695
00:37:10,978 --> 00:37:12,187
Nice.

696
00:37:12,271 --> 00:37:18,318
...the Chee began to recede,
and the diversity of life
began to wither.

697
00:37:18,402 --> 00:37:20,570
The life forms we know today

698
00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:25,242
are but a fraction of a
fraction of the magnificence
that once existed.

699
00:37:25,660 --> 00:37:27,077
But a bunch of dudes,
right,

700
00:37:27,161 --> 00:37:30,705
they totally passed this
far-out knowledge down
through the ages.

701
00:37:30,873 --> 00:37:35,168
GRAND CURATOR: Some with
this knowledge were called
prophets, some, fruitcakes.

702
00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:38,922
We, the Legion
of Madfellows,
are their heirs.

703
00:37:39,715 --> 00:37:41,091
Hey, I'm on TV.

704
00:37:42,551 --> 00:37:43,843
Well, that's the show.

705
00:37:43,928 --> 00:37:46,012
Neat. What's it
got to do with me?

706
00:37:46,597 --> 00:37:50,517
Pooperdoodle!
I mean, pardon
the omission.

707
00:37:50,893 --> 00:37:57,357
You see, after untold
eternities, we have sensed
a resurgence in the Chee.

708
00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:02,404
FRY: Hey, that's
the violet dwarf star
that Leela wants to save.

709
00:38:02,863 --> 00:38:04,572
Freaking nailed it,
corndog.

710
00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:08,201
We believe this star
heralds a new green age,

711
00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:12,789
and it's your destiny
to be its shepherd
and protector.

712
00:38:12,873 --> 00:38:14,457
Me? Why?

713
00:38:14,542 --> 00:38:17,168
'Cause you got, like,
no delta brainwave, man.

714
00:38:17,253 --> 00:38:19,504
The Dark Ones can't
groove off your thoughts.

715
00:38:19,588 --> 00:38:23,466
Silence, Hutch!
You shall learn
more in time, Fry.

716
00:38:23,551 --> 00:38:26,219
But for now,
let's just say
we have enemies,

717
00:38:26,304 --> 00:38:31,141
enemies who can read
minds, except yours.

718
00:38:31,225 --> 00:38:33,393
Cool.
I can't wait
to tell Leela.

719
00:38:33,477 --> 00:38:37,147
No! If you tell anyone,
then their thoughts
could be read,

720
00:38:37,231 --> 00:38:39,733
and our enemies would
know of our existence.

721
00:38:39,900 --> 00:38:43,695
For the sake of those
you love, you must
keep this secret.

722
00:38:43,779 --> 00:38:45,530
Do you foot-swear?

723
00:38:45,614 --> 00:38:47,991
Okay. I foot-swear.

724
00:38:48,659 --> 00:38:52,078
Good. Now, to save the
coming of the green age,

725
00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:54,664
you must stop this man.

726
00:38:56,584 --> 00:38:59,502
I know him. Leo Wong.
I work with his daughter.

727
00:38:59,587 --> 00:39:02,505
Good, that will cut about
1 5 minutes of explanation.

728
00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:06,551
You must
gain Wong's confidence,
infiltrate his organization

729
00:39:06,635 --> 00:39:10,138
and prevent him from
destroying the violet dwarf.

730
00:39:15,770 --> 00:39:17,020
Looking for a job, eh?

731
00:39:17,104 --> 00:39:18,229
Yes, sir.

732
00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:20,732
Nothing fancy.
I'm willing to
start at the bottom

733
00:39:20,816 --> 00:39:22,192
and infiltrate my way up.

734
00:39:22,276 --> 00:39:24,444
Sorry, no openings right now.

735
00:39:24,945 --> 00:39:28,239
What I need is security
guard to keep nutcases
out of my office.

736
00:39:28,324 --> 00:39:29,783
I'm good at
keeping nutcases.

737
00:39:29,867 --> 00:39:31,117
I said no way.

738
00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:33,536
Security guard
gotta be tough.

739
00:39:33,621 --> 00:39:36,456
This idiot don't look
like he could handle
those feministas.

740
00:39:36,540 --> 00:39:40,085
I look like an idiot who
can handle those feministas.

741
00:39:40,169 --> 00:39:41,961
He'll have to do
better than that.

742
00:39:42,046 --> 00:39:43,880
I'll have to do
better than that.

743
00:39:43,964 --> 00:39:45,090
Hmm.

744
00:39:45,174 --> 00:39:46,674
You and l
think a lot alike.

745
00:39:46,759 --> 00:39:49,260
You really think you
can stand up to those
eco-freakos?

746
00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:52,514
Sir, with me around,
they'll be the least
of your worries.

747
00:40:03,109 --> 00:40:07,946
Stand by, men.
And manly aliens. Prepare
to test fire King Kong hole.

748
00:40:09,156 --> 00:40:11,491
(THUNDEROUS BOOM)

749
00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:20,166
It workses.

750
00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:22,335
Good job, men.
And manly aliens.

751
00:40:22,753 --> 00:40:25,547
Construction of
King Kong hole
complete.

752
00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:29,717
Typical.
Always King Kong,
never Queen Quong.

753
00:40:43,816 --> 00:40:47,235
What are those, hooks?
Get out of heres, you hookers.

754
00:40:47,319 --> 00:40:49,028
This is my turfs.

755
00:40:52,783 --> 00:40:55,285
Helpses!

756
00:40:55,369 --> 00:40:56,995
(CHEERING)

757
00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:02,750
LEELA: You go, gorilla!

758
00:41:03,210 --> 00:41:06,254
Our top story.
The string of
eco-vandalism

759
00:41:06,338 --> 00:41:09,132
that began with a harmless
vice-presidential killing

760
00:41:09,216 --> 00:41:11,134
has spread across the galaxy.

761
00:41:11,302 --> 00:41:13,970
Why do you
always get to read
the top story, Morbo?

762
00:41:14,054 --> 00:41:19,184
Because viewers trust a
deep male voice and huge,
throbbing forehead veins.

763
00:41:19,602 --> 00:41:21,227
(BEATING RHYTHMICALLY)

764
00:41:21,562 --> 00:41:24,522
Not all reaction
to the crime spree
has been negative.

765
00:41:24,607 --> 00:41:28,943
We spoke with several people
who viewed these courageous
eco-feminists as heroes.

766
00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:32,655
I just wish there was
some way to... Excuse me.

767
00:41:32,740 --> 00:41:34,491
(COUGHING)

768
00:41:35,117 --> 00:41:38,661
Some way to show
I support 'em. Send them
some smokes or something.

769
00:41:38,746 --> 00:41:42,248
So you make more than
twice what I do. What?

770
00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:45,919
This just in:
Root 2 News has
received a video communiqué

771
00:41:46,003 --> 00:41:48,379
from the eco-feminists'
unknown hideout.

772
00:41:48,464 --> 00:41:50,173
This is sub-commander L. ,

773
00:41:50,257 --> 00:41:53,259
den mother
of the Feminista
Revolutionary Collective,

774
00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:55,470
with a message for Leo Wong.

775
00:41:55,804 --> 00:42:00,808
Leo, you're a parasite on
the universe, and parasites
must be destroyed.

776
00:42:00,893 --> 00:42:04,187
That's why we've adopted
this parasite as our mascot.

777
00:42:04,271 --> 00:42:05,396
(SNARLING)

778
00:42:05,731 --> 00:42:07,232
I know it's
a little confusing.

779
00:42:07,316 --> 00:42:11,361
The point is,
even this vicious
leech has a right to exist,

780
00:42:11,445 --> 00:42:13,196
because it's
a part of nature.

781
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:17,784
And that's why a vicious
leech like Leo Wong
must be exterminated.

782
00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:19,702
(CHEERING)

783
00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:21,538
Again, confusing.

784
00:42:21,622 --> 00:42:24,874
We call
on women everywhere
to join our struggle

785
00:42:24,959 --> 00:42:27,627
against eco-chauvinist
Leo Wong.

786
00:42:27,711 --> 00:42:30,088
We especially need
good communiqué writers.

787
00:42:30,172 --> 00:42:31,673
Feministas unite!

788
00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:33,841
ln other news...

789
00:42:33,926 --> 00:42:40,139
Feministas unite!

790
00:42:40,474 --> 00:42:43,851
lncredible.
Absolutely incredible.

791
00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:48,231
You're telling me this
TiVo machine can pause
and rewind live TV?

792
00:42:48,315 --> 00:42:50,608
These crazy broads
gonna ruin me, Nixon.

793
00:42:50,693 --> 00:42:52,735
You gotta help me.
Send the army or
something.

794
00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,237
Something big that shoots.

795
00:42:54,321 --> 00:42:57,574
Sir, I don't
care if you are my
biggest contributor.

796
00:42:57,658 --> 00:43:01,035
Our armed forces
do not serve your
private business interests.

797
00:43:01,161 --> 00:43:02,537
Sorry, I...

798
00:43:02,621 --> 00:43:04,414
(LAUGHING)

799
00:43:04,498 --> 00:43:08,918
I'm just yanking
your chain, Leo. I'm on it
like boring on Gerry Ford.

800
00:43:09,003 --> 00:43:10,837
(MILITARY MARCH PLAYING)

801
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:16,884
Zapp Brannigan
purporting for duty.

802
00:43:16,969 --> 00:43:20,305
For the love of God, Kif,
less piccolo, more fife.

803
00:43:20,639 --> 00:43:21,764
(SlGHS)

804
00:43:21,849 --> 00:43:23,224
Report, Brannigan.

805
00:43:23,350 --> 00:43:26,811
Mr. President,
I failed to identify
these curvaceous banditas

806
00:43:26,895 --> 00:43:29,397
despite
hours of staring
at their dossiers.

807
00:43:30,065 --> 00:43:32,817
Yet, I seemed to have
stroked myself upon
good luck,

808
00:43:32,901 --> 00:43:36,779
for a patriot of the highest
order has volunteered to
lead us to them.

809
00:43:40,826 --> 00:43:42,952
(PLAYING DRAMATIC FANFARE)

810
00:43:43,037 --> 00:43:45,455
These eco-feminists
are ruthless criminals

811
00:43:45,539 --> 00:43:47,957
who'll stop at nothing
to save the environment.

812
00:43:48,042 --> 00:43:50,293
I don't see
how a bending
unit can catch them.

813
00:43:50,377 --> 00:43:52,837
Not just any bending unit,
Presidente.

814
00:43:52,921 --> 00:43:56,382
I happen to be brilliant,
fearless and short on cash.

815
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,009
(COUGHING) Short on cash.

816
00:43:58,093 --> 00:43:59,510
Slush him, Kroker.

817
00:44:04,850 --> 00:44:09,979
Bender here has identified
the femdito commander as
my ex-lover, Turanga Leela,

818
00:44:10,064 --> 00:44:11,522
whom I once made
love at.

819
00:44:11,607 --> 00:44:14,525
And he's
willing to fink her
out for a few simoleons?

820
00:44:14,610 --> 00:44:17,820
It's not about the
money, Nixon, though
I'd like much more.

821
00:44:17,905 --> 00:44:21,532
It's 'cause
Leela's a threat.
A threat to my reputation.

822
00:44:21,617 --> 00:44:24,827
She's committed 30 felonies
in 12 star systems.

823
00:44:24,912 --> 00:44:28,331
If no one stops her,
she'll break my record
for longest rap sheet.

824
00:44:28,415 --> 00:44:29,582
(RASPY HOWL)

825
00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:32,377
That's a despicable motive,
Bender, and I respect it.

826
00:44:32,461 --> 00:44:33,670
(THANKING IN SPANISH)

827
00:44:33,754 --> 00:44:37,423
Now, I could find
Leela, but you'll need
to authorize a wiretap.

828
00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:38,675
As many as you like.

829
00:44:38,759 --> 00:44:39,842
I only need one.

830
00:44:39,927 --> 00:44:41,302
Let's call it six.

831
00:44:42,179 --> 00:44:46,516
Question. If you don't
know where Leela is,
how can you wiretap her?

832
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:49,352
I'm not wiretapping her,
Greensleeves.

833
00:44:49,436 --> 00:44:53,648
You see,
like all women,
Leela has one weakness.

834
00:44:54,733 --> 00:44:56,442
BENDER: Hello, weakness!

835
00:44:59,655 --> 00:45:03,074
Hey, Bender, check it out.
I'm Leo Wong's new
security guard.

836
00:45:03,158 --> 00:45:06,577
I got an ID badge
and a flashlight, and
I ordered this mustache.

837
00:45:06,662 --> 00:45:09,872
Neat. Say,
speaking of whatever
the hell you just said,

838
00:45:09,957 --> 00:45:12,417
I need
to make a cell
phone telephone call.

839
00:45:12,501 --> 00:45:15,461
Can borrow your
cell phone telephone?

840
00:45:15,629 --> 00:45:17,630
Okay, but don't
restart my Tetris.

841
00:45:17,715 --> 00:45:19,340
I was finally about
to get one of those
pieces

842
00:45:19,425 --> 00:45:20,842
that looks like
a backwards "L."

843
00:45:20,926 --> 00:45:22,301
Okay, superstud.

844
00:45:23,887 --> 00:45:27,598
Looking good, security.
No feministas getting
past you.

845
00:45:27,683 --> 00:45:30,143
No, sir. Not on my
mustache's watch.

846
00:45:30,477 --> 00:45:33,730
Fry, I can't
believe you're working
with my dad against Leela.

847
00:45:33,814 --> 00:45:36,774
How can you claim to be
her friend and still
want her in jail?

848
00:45:36,859 --> 00:45:37,900
(CLEARS THROAT)

849
00:45:37,985 --> 00:45:40,069
It's a tightrope walk,
I won't deny it.

850
00:45:40,154 --> 00:45:43,823
It takes the kind
of multi-sided thinking
your dad's so brilliant at.

851
00:45:44,158 --> 00:45:45,533
You mean
being two-faced?

852
00:45:45,617 --> 00:45:47,577
Don't mind
cranky-pants here.

853
00:45:47,661 --> 00:45:50,455
She been
cranky ever since
she was a fat little girl.

854
00:45:50,539 --> 00:45:51,581
Dad!

855
00:45:51,665 --> 00:45:53,750
Can I be brutally honest,
Fry?

856
00:45:53,834 --> 00:45:55,251
I always wanted a son.

857
00:45:55,335 --> 00:45:57,044
That hurt,
but I can take it.

858
00:45:57,129 --> 00:45:58,880
(SPEAKS MANDARlN)

859
00:45:58,964 --> 00:46:00,715
I knew you wanted a son!

860
00:46:00,799 --> 00:46:03,301
Why do you think I became
a miniature golf champion?

861
00:46:03,385 --> 00:46:06,179
Why do you think
I wear these stupid
boys' sweat suits?

862
00:46:06,263 --> 00:46:09,098
(SNICKERING) To hide your
big, fat butt, that's why.

863
00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:12,393
Now, sir,
in fairness, Amy's
butt is actually pretty hot.

864
00:46:12,686 --> 00:46:13,770
What is it
with you men?

865
00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:15,897
Why does everything
revolve around my butt?

866
00:46:15,981 --> 00:46:18,274
'Cause it's so
big and massive.

867
00:46:19,067 --> 00:46:20,234
Sorry.

868
00:46:20,319 --> 00:46:21,611
That's it!

869
00:46:22,571 --> 00:46:26,115
Why don't you just adopt
Fry and make him the son
you never had?

870
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,910
That'll replace
the daughter you
don't have anymore!

871
00:46:28,994 --> 00:46:30,495
(GRUNTS IN ANGER)

872
00:46:30,579 --> 00:46:32,371
Whoa! What's with Big Butt?

873
00:46:32,456 --> 00:46:34,123
She just hungry.

874
00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:35,792
Here you go, Fry.
Thanks.

875
00:46:35,876 --> 00:46:40,421
Oh! FYI, I dropped that
Tetris piece in the wrong
place and ended the game.

876
00:46:42,549 --> 00:46:45,384
(ECHOING) No!

877
00:46:51,558 --> 00:46:54,268
Great!
Now Amy's gonna
tell Leela I'm a jerk.

878
00:46:54,728 --> 00:46:58,105
If only I could explain
I'm on a secret mission
against evil.

879
00:46:58,232 --> 00:47:00,483
Wait. Evil?
Yeah, yeah, evil.

880
00:47:00,567 --> 00:47:01,984
(TAPPING)

881
00:47:02,069 --> 00:47:05,571
What's going on in there?
A scary noise?

882
00:47:08,033 --> 00:47:10,284
Hey, you're one of
Leela's feministas.

883
00:47:11,286 --> 00:47:15,248
"Save the environment!
Wo-mandate Leo's retirement!"

884
00:47:15,457 --> 00:47:20,294
That's terrible writing!
Stop making your point
so ineffectively!

885
00:47:20,379 --> 00:47:22,255
Take your mands off of me!

886
00:47:22,339 --> 00:47:23,381
(SHUSHING)

887
00:47:23,465 --> 00:47:24,799
I'm on your side.

888
00:47:24,883 --> 00:47:26,717
(SHUSHING) Don't shush me.

889
00:47:26,802 --> 00:47:29,178
Please, can you take
a message to Leela?

890
00:47:29,972 --> 00:47:31,138
What is it?

891
00:47:31,223 --> 00:47:35,601
Just say her sweet goofbag
is working to save the violet
dwarf star, just like she is.

892
00:47:35,686 --> 00:47:38,396
Very well,
I'll fem-municate
your man-formation.

893
00:47:38,522 --> 00:47:39,647
Just tell her.

894
00:47:39,731 --> 00:47:40,731
(SHUSHING)

895
00:47:42,484 --> 00:47:46,988
Well,
this is it, old friends.
Planet Express is done for,

896
00:47:47,072 --> 00:47:49,031
what with our
delivery crew missing

897
00:47:49,116 --> 00:47:51,659
and the abysmal sales
of Tickle Me Bender.

898
00:47:51,785 --> 00:47:53,202
(GIGGLING)

899
00:47:53,287 --> 00:47:55,204
Quit touching
my junk, pervert!

900
00:47:55,372 --> 00:47:56,372
(SlGHS)

901
00:47:56,456 --> 00:47:59,667
Hold out your hands
and I'll remove your
career chips.

902
00:48:00,669 --> 00:48:02,753
I hate to see it
come to an end.

903
00:48:03,171 --> 00:48:04,505
(SCREAMING)

904
00:48:04,590 --> 00:48:06,048
When will it end?

905
00:48:06,133 --> 00:48:07,633
(PHONE RINGING)

906
00:48:08,802 --> 00:48:10,928
Shouldn't you get that,
Professor?

907
00:48:12,139 --> 00:48:13,472
I suppose.

908
00:48:14,391 --> 00:48:16,309
(SCREAMING)

909
00:48:16,935 --> 00:48:18,060
Hello?

910
00:48:18,145 --> 00:48:20,062
Professor, old buddy,

911
00:48:20,147 --> 00:48:22,440
I'm gonna blow up
the violet dwarf star.

912
00:48:22,524 --> 00:48:25,735
So I need you deliver
billion-mile security
fence

913
00:48:25,819 --> 00:48:29,322
to keep out protesters.
Dirty business. Lot of
money.

914
00:48:29,406 --> 00:48:30,406
You corrupt enough?

915
00:48:30,490 --> 00:48:31,741
Damn skippy!

916
00:48:34,286 --> 00:48:38,164
Good news, crybabies!
We're back in business.

917
00:48:38,373 --> 00:48:39,540
(BOTH CHEERING)

918
00:48:39,625 --> 00:48:41,000
(BOTH SCREAMING)

919
00:48:43,712 --> 00:48:46,756
(HERMES AND ZOIDBERG WAILING)

920
00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:57,516
(CREATURES TWITTERING)

921
00:49:04,524 --> 00:49:06,442
(HERMES AND ZOIDBERG WAILING)

922
00:49:06,526 --> 00:49:10,905
Sweet kookaburra of Edinburgh,
Professor. You sure you know
how to fly this thing?

923
00:49:10,989 --> 00:49:14,075
I invented it, didn't I?
You wouldn't ask
Thomas Edison

924
00:49:14,159 --> 00:49:16,452
whether he knew
how to use a sexmatron.

925
00:49:17,037 --> 00:49:18,704
(ALL GASP)

926
00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:20,539
The feministas, probably.

927
00:49:22,376 --> 00:49:24,251
(SPRAY PAINT HISSING)

928
00:49:26,380 --> 00:49:29,548
Halt! What are
you doing in this
parallelogram of space?

929
00:49:29,633 --> 00:49:33,135
We're delivering
a fence to keep you
ladies in your place.

930
00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:34,345
(CHUCKLING)

931
00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:39,934
Amy?
Labarbara?

932
00:49:40,018 --> 00:49:41,560
That's right, husband.

933
00:49:41,645 --> 00:49:44,313
From now on, you make
your own Manwiches.

934
00:49:44,398 --> 00:49:48,818
Under the articles of the
confemiracy, we hereby
wo-mandeer this ship.

935
00:49:48,902 --> 00:49:51,570
Oh, no, you don't.
It's three against three.

936
00:49:51,738 --> 00:49:53,114
(GROANING)

937
00:49:58,578 --> 00:50:02,540
That was the greatest
play I ever saw.
It must have had 20 acts.

938
00:50:03,208 --> 00:50:04,583
(GASPING IN SHOCK)

939
00:50:10,090 --> 00:50:11,799
(SCREAMING IN MANDARIN)

940
00:50:11,883 --> 00:50:14,552
LEELA ON PA:
We installed your
fence, Leo Wong.

941
00:50:14,636 --> 00:50:16,512
Yeah!
Yeah!

942
00:50:16,596 --> 00:50:18,180
Should we shout
a clever slogan?

943
00:50:18,265 --> 00:50:21,600
You mean something like,
"The best defense is
a good fence?"

944
00:50:21,685 --> 00:50:23,728
Yeah, something
like that, only funny.

945
00:50:23,812 --> 00:50:24,937
I wish we could,

946
00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:28,274
but our chief slogan
writer is back at
the Honeybun Hideout.

947
00:50:32,446 --> 00:50:35,990
Does
"violet dwarf" rhyme
with "men are dorks"?

948
00:50:36,450 --> 00:50:38,284
It does through a megaphone.

949
00:50:38,744 --> 00:50:41,704
That reminds me, I've got to
tell Leela about that weirdo

950
00:50:41,788 --> 00:50:43,748
who wants to save
the violet dwarf.

951
00:50:43,832 --> 00:50:47,501
VOICE: So, the Legion
of Madfellows has
a new pawn, eh?

952
00:50:48,712 --> 00:50:50,254
Is somebody here?

953
00:50:50,630 --> 00:50:52,882
If you're the DSL guy,
you're two days late.

954
00:50:52,966 --> 00:50:54,800
Who gave you that
message for Leela?

955
00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:56,177
I don't know his name.

956
00:50:56,261 --> 00:50:58,721
Then you are of no
use to the Dark Ones!

957
00:50:58,805 --> 00:51:00,306
(CHOKING)

958
00:51:02,309 --> 00:51:06,103
Long lost brother,
avenge my death.

959
00:51:06,354 --> 00:51:08,564
(GAGGING)

960
00:51:09,816 --> 00:51:13,194
Where are your crappy
rhymes now, Frida Waterfall?

961
00:51:13,278 --> 00:51:15,905
I'm dead. I'm dead.

962
00:51:15,989 --> 00:51:18,908
Eat only naturaI
whole-grain bread.

963
00:51:18,992 --> 00:51:20,159
(CHOKING)

964
00:51:28,210 --> 00:51:30,419
(SINGING) Six, seven, eight
Lock the gate

965
00:51:30,504 --> 00:51:33,422
One, two, three
Turn the key

966
00:51:33,507 --> 00:51:34,673
30, 50, 1 0

967
00:51:34,758 --> 00:51:36,383
My dirty, shifty friend?

968
00:51:36,468 --> 00:51:38,469
Hey, Fry, long time.

969
00:51:44,017 --> 00:51:45,309
(GROANING)

970
00:51:46,019 --> 00:51:49,063
Welcome back
to the Legion of
Madfellows, man.

971
00:51:49,856 --> 00:51:51,482
Why'd you bonk me, you idiot?

972
00:51:51,566 --> 00:51:53,359
You could
have just asked
me to come with you.

973
00:51:53,443 --> 00:51:56,529
And where are we?
This doesn't look like
your regular dumpster.

974
00:51:56,613 --> 00:51:58,656
All in good time!

975
00:51:59,574 --> 00:52:00,991
I guess now is a good time.

976
00:52:01,076 --> 00:52:03,285
We are on Mars,
in a forgotten cavern

977
00:52:03,370 --> 00:52:07,248
abandoned by the native
Martians a million years ago.

978
00:52:07,499 --> 00:52:11,293
FRY: Actually, it was
five years ago. I remember
'cause they washed my socks.

979
00:52:11,378 --> 00:52:13,087
You have done well, Fry.

980
00:52:13,171 --> 00:52:15,881
You have ingratiated
yourself with Leo Wong.

981
00:52:15,966 --> 00:52:18,843
Yup, I kissed his ass
from cheek to shining
cheek.

982
00:52:18,927 --> 00:52:20,219
So, what do I do next?

983
00:52:20,303 --> 00:52:21,929
As Wong security chief,

984
00:52:22,097 --> 00:52:25,474
you will be on hand when
he attempts to destroy
the violet dwarf.

985
00:52:25,559 --> 00:52:27,726
You must not
let that happen.

986
00:52:27,811 --> 00:52:30,271
"Must let happen."

987
00:52:30,355 --> 00:52:31,981
Not happen!

988
00:52:32,065 --> 00:52:35,401
"Must let occur."

989
00:52:35,485 --> 00:52:40,197
Let me tell you a story.
A story of two alien species

990
00:52:40,282 --> 00:52:45,536
so ancient that compared
to them the human race
is a mere college senior!

991
00:52:47,956 --> 00:52:52,626
On a distant planetoid
they evolved to cooperate
in their quest to survive.

992
00:52:57,716 --> 00:53:00,801
Cooperation, because
life is a team sport.

993
00:53:01,219 --> 00:53:05,514
GRAND CURATOR: But,
over time, one species
evolved a better strategy,

994
00:53:05,891 --> 00:53:10,060
and an evolutionary
arms race began.

995
00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:33,209
That concludes
the audio-visual portion
of our head-clonk and lecture.

996
00:53:33,460 --> 00:53:35,878
Wait, what happened
to the snakes and
the frogs?

997
00:53:35,962 --> 00:53:37,254
I need to know!

998
00:53:37,339 --> 00:53:38,339
(SlGHS)

999
00:53:39,466 --> 00:53:45,054
The frogs, or possibly
the snakes, evolved into
vicious killing machines,

1000
00:53:45,138 --> 00:53:49,683
honed by the merciless
forces of natural selection
and intelligent design.

1001
00:53:49,976 --> 00:53:53,145
We call these the Dark Ones!

1002
00:53:53,313 --> 00:53:55,022
(SHUDDERING)

1003
00:53:55,106 --> 00:54:00,819
These evil creatures preyed
on all life, driving species
after species to extinction.

1004
00:54:01,154 --> 00:54:02,613
Meanwhile, however,

1005
00:54:02,697 --> 00:54:05,741
the second species evolved
to fend off the Dark Ones,

1006
00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:08,953
befriending and protecting
all other living things.

1007
00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:10,454
Even Celine Dion?

1008
00:54:10,538 --> 00:54:11,664
Probably.

1009
00:54:11,831 --> 00:54:15,417
We call these noble
beings the Encyclopods,

1010
00:54:15,585 --> 00:54:17,419
because their
DNA incorporates

1011
00:54:17,504 --> 00:54:21,048
the DNA of
every endangered
species they encountered,

1012
00:54:21,132 --> 00:54:24,468
so they can recreate
them if they go extinct.

1013
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:30,099
Just as a pillow, a wig
and a corncob pipe can be used
to recreate my old girlfriend!

1014
00:54:30,475 --> 00:54:31,517
Bingo.

1015
00:54:33,186 --> 00:54:35,729
ANNOUNCER:
Meanwhile, at the
Honeybun Hideout.

1016
00:54:41,528 --> 00:54:45,447
There! Now you know how
it feels to be locked
up in a go-go cage.

1017
00:54:45,657 --> 00:54:47,283
What the hell are
you talking about?

1018
00:54:47,367 --> 00:54:48,867
Shut your man-hole.

1019
00:54:49,077 --> 00:54:50,619
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

1020
00:54:51,037 --> 00:54:52,496
(GRUNTING)

1021
00:54:53,957 --> 00:54:55,207
I feel dirty.

1022
00:54:55,542 --> 00:54:57,668
Are you sure Fry is
working for your father?

1023
00:54:57,752 --> 00:55:01,297
It just doesn't seem
like him to be so evil,
or to hold down a job.

1024
00:55:01,381 --> 00:55:04,967
It's true, Leela.
Cross My Heart bra
and swear to Goddess.

1025
00:55:05,051 --> 00:55:07,553
But the Fry I know
wouldn't do that.

1026
00:55:07,637 --> 00:55:11,015
I'm gonna call his
cell phone telephone
and prove you wrong.

1027
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:18,063
Oh, no!
Frida's been murdered!

1028
00:55:18,732 --> 00:55:20,316
(ALL GASPING)

1029
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,651
Sweet she-cattle of Seattle.

1030
00:55:22,736 --> 00:55:24,653
HERMES: Not your
strong suit, woman.

1031
00:55:24,738 --> 00:55:26,155
Who could have done this?

1032
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:27,906
Your dad? Nixon?

1033
00:55:28,366 --> 00:55:29,408
Fry?

1034
00:55:29,492 --> 00:55:31,910
No, never. I don't think.

1035
00:55:31,995 --> 00:55:34,538
Anyhow,
there's a crazed
murderer on the loose,

1036
00:55:34,622 --> 00:55:37,041
possibly in the shadows
or hanging from the ceiling.

1037
00:55:37,125 --> 00:55:38,167
(ALL SCREAM)

1038
00:55:38,251 --> 00:55:40,210
So just stay calm
while I call Fry.

1039
00:55:40,295 --> 00:55:41,587
(BONES CRACKLE)

1040
00:55:44,090 --> 00:55:47,593
So where
are the Encyclopods
and the Dark Ones now?

1041
00:55:50,138 --> 00:55:52,639
When the life-giving
Chee receded,

1042
00:55:52,724 --> 00:55:56,185
only the
toughest organisms
could adapt and survive,

1043
00:55:56,269 --> 00:55:57,728
like the Dark Ones.

1044
00:55:58,063 --> 00:55:59,980
(BOOING)

1045
00:56:01,066 --> 00:56:04,360
Many more died out,
like the Encyclopods.

1046
00:56:04,444 --> 00:56:08,197
But, and this is the
great secret of our age,

1047
00:56:08,281 --> 00:56:12,201
we believe they
left an egg behind.

1048
00:56:12,452 --> 00:56:13,452
Is it edible?

1049
00:56:13,536 --> 00:56:14,661
We're not gonna eat it!

1050
00:56:14,746 --> 00:56:19,500
Not unless we find
a second one. No, Fry,
we intend to hatch it!

1051
00:56:19,667 --> 00:56:21,543
And that's where you come in.

1052
00:56:21,628 --> 00:56:23,087
And here I am.

1053
00:56:23,171 --> 00:56:26,340
At long last the tide
of Chee has returned,

1054
00:56:26,424 --> 00:56:29,843
and its nourishing flow
has awakened the dormant egg.

1055
00:56:30,011 --> 00:56:31,011
That's good.

1056
00:56:31,096 --> 00:56:33,055
It's better than good.
It's better.

1057
00:56:33,139 --> 00:56:35,641
With its massive
stash of DNA,

1058
00:56:35,725 --> 00:56:40,771
the Encyclopod can reconstruct
every species that ever went
extinct.

1059
00:56:40,855 --> 00:56:46,110
Imagine, all the animals
that failed evolution's
test, alive again!

1060
00:56:46,194 --> 00:56:50,572
The dodo bird,
the brittle-klutz, the
striped biologist-taunter.

1061
00:56:50,657 --> 00:56:52,699
So, where is this egg?

1062
00:56:52,784 --> 00:56:55,202
ln the violet
dwarf star system.

1063
00:56:55,286 --> 00:56:56,537
And what does it look like?

1064
00:56:56,621 --> 00:56:58,705
A violet dwarf star!

1065
00:56:58,790 --> 00:57:03,001
You mean, the whole star
is a single... Whoa! Sci-fi.

1066
00:57:03,294 --> 00:57:06,672
Alas!
Even now, a Dark One
is headed to the star

1067
00:57:06,756 --> 00:57:08,632
to ensure its destruction.

1068
00:57:08,716 --> 00:57:11,176
Dang! So what does
this Dark One look like?

1069
00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:12,261
(SlGHS)

1070
00:57:12,345 --> 00:57:16,640
We don't know. I admit
it's a horrifically
grave situation.

1071
00:57:16,724 --> 00:57:18,350
Don't sugarcoat it, Nine.

1072
00:57:18,435 --> 00:57:20,310
The Dark Ones have
been evolving so long,

1073
00:57:20,395 --> 00:57:22,271
it could be
anything or anyone.

1074
00:57:22,355 --> 00:57:23,564
Or anybody.

1075
00:57:23,648 --> 00:57:24,982
You mean, like, people?

1076
00:57:25,066 --> 00:57:27,359
Any people.
It will kill the egg,

1077
00:57:27,444 --> 00:57:30,279
and every dude, woman
and child who knows
about it.

1078
00:57:30,363 --> 00:57:33,782
Even our crazy caps will
be useless at close range.

1079
00:57:34,033 --> 00:57:38,287
That's why only you,
with your defective
unreadable brainwave,

1080
00:57:38,371 --> 00:57:39,872
may be able
to thwart them

1081
00:57:39,956 --> 00:57:43,292
and usher
in a new green
age of wonder and...

1082
00:57:43,376 --> 00:57:44,751
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

1083
00:57:45,837 --> 00:57:48,422
You're on Fry-time. Leela!

1084
00:57:48,798 --> 00:57:50,090
Did you get my message?

1085
00:57:50,175 --> 00:57:51,300
What message?

1086
00:57:51,384 --> 00:57:52,968
Didn't you see
Frida Waterfall?

1087
00:57:53,052 --> 00:57:55,637
(GASPS) So you did
kill Frida Waterfall?

1088
00:57:55,805 --> 00:57:58,348
What? No. I told her
to tell you that I'm...

1089
00:57:58,683 --> 00:58:02,060
Oh, Jeep!
The Dark Ones
got her. It's all true.

1090
00:58:02,437 --> 00:58:05,022
We need to talk, Leela.
Then I can explain...

1091
00:58:05,148 --> 00:58:07,816
Well, I can't explain
anything, but we
should talk anyway.

1092
00:58:07,901 --> 00:58:08,859
Where are you?

1093
00:58:08,943 --> 00:58:10,027
Oh, no.

1094
00:58:10,111 --> 00:58:12,446
I'm not gonna expose
the Honeybun Hideout.

1095
00:58:12,530 --> 00:58:13,655
Where are you?

1096
00:58:13,740 --> 00:58:16,158
Near the Keeler
Crater on Mars.

1097
00:58:16,242 --> 00:58:17,326
Do you know it?

1098
00:58:17,410 --> 00:58:19,870
I think I read about it.

1099
00:58:20,538 --> 00:58:23,832
LEELA: I'll meet you at
the south rim in one hour.
No mustaches.

1100
00:58:23,917 --> 00:58:25,417
(DIAL TONE)

1101
00:58:25,627 --> 00:58:27,169
(EVlL LAUGHTER)

1102
00:58:27,795 --> 00:58:32,090
Kif, set coordinates,
36-24-36.

1103
00:58:32,425 --> 00:58:35,344
AKA, Leela.

1104
00:58:43,186 --> 00:58:46,939
Ten minutes late.
Ain't that just
like a womanista?

1105
00:58:47,607 --> 00:58:48,774
Are you alone?

1106
00:58:48,858 --> 00:58:50,776
Of course,
don't you trust me?

1107
00:58:52,445 --> 00:58:53,529
(YELLING)

1108
00:58:53,613 --> 00:58:54,780
(WHIMPERING)

1109
00:58:54,864 --> 00:58:56,657
ZAPP ON PA:
There's no
escape, Leela.

1110
00:58:56,741 --> 00:58:59,284
If you surrender,
wave your shirt
in the air.

1111
00:58:59,452 --> 00:59:00,786
Fry, you traitor!

1112
00:59:02,455 --> 00:59:04,581
AMY OVER PA: Hop onto
the magnet, Leela!

1113
00:59:04,666 --> 00:59:06,542
Okay. One, two...

1114
00:59:06,626 --> 00:59:07,584
(SCREAMS)

1115
00:59:07,669 --> 00:59:08,794
(CHUCKLES)

1116
00:59:18,846 --> 00:59:19,846
(GRUNTS)

1117
00:59:20,473 --> 00:59:22,558
I can't believe you
ratted me out, Fry.

1118
00:59:22,642 --> 00:59:24,184
I'm not a rat, I swear.

1119
00:59:24,269 --> 00:59:28,146
If I'm any rodent,
it's the loyal capybara,
king of the rats! No, wait.

1120
00:59:28,231 --> 00:59:29,356
(EXPLOSlON)

1121
00:59:31,651 --> 00:59:34,403
This just in, we are about
to get our asses blown off.

1122
00:59:34,487 --> 00:59:35,571
Labarbara?

1123
00:59:35,655 --> 00:59:37,030
That's right, Linda.

1124
00:59:37,115 --> 00:59:38,740
(SCREAMING)

1125
00:59:38,825 --> 00:59:40,075
Stay strong, ladies.

1126
00:59:40,159 --> 00:59:42,369
We can lose
them in the giant
miniature golf course.

1127
00:59:42,453 --> 00:59:45,330
But the course isn't finished.
And there's no girls allowed.

1128
00:59:45,415 --> 00:59:46,665
Fore!

1129
00:59:47,166 --> 00:59:48,208
(GASP)

1130
00:59:52,839 --> 00:59:57,718
So, they want to
play mini golf, eh?
Two can play at that game.

1131
00:59:57,844 --> 01:00:00,846
Or even four,
depending on the number
of ball colors available.

1132
01:00:00,930 --> 01:00:02,097
(BOTH SlGH)

1133
01:00:02,181 --> 01:00:03,724
I choose pink.

1134
01:00:03,808 --> 01:00:05,767
That's their color, sir.

1135
01:00:05,852 --> 01:00:07,185
The hell it is.

1136
01:00:19,532 --> 01:00:22,868
They're gaining on us.
We need a birdie on
the windmill hole.

1137
01:00:24,787 --> 01:00:26,496
Wait. Wait.

1138
01:00:27,832 --> 01:00:29,166
Drop the boot!

1139
01:00:31,461 --> 01:00:33,170
(WOMEN CHEERING)

1140
01:00:34,047 --> 01:00:35,172
Sir, at our present speed,

1141
01:00:35,256 --> 01:00:38,967
the computer predicts
a 1 00% chance we'll
be sliced in half.

1142
01:00:39,052 --> 01:00:40,177
We'll never make it.

1143
01:00:40,261 --> 01:00:41,970
Not with that attitude,
we won't.

1144
01:00:42,055 --> 01:00:43,889
Same speed ahead!

1145
01:00:49,270 --> 01:00:51,063
(MEN SCREAMING)

1146
01:00:52,774 --> 01:00:55,567
We made it through, Kif.
How many men did we lose?

1147
01:00:55,652 --> 01:00:56,652
All of them.

1148
01:00:56,736 --> 01:00:59,112
Well, at least they won't
have to mourn each other.

1149
01:00:59,197 --> 01:01:02,366
Seal the airlocks,
and draw the shades.

1150
01:01:03,368 --> 01:01:04,743
Resume shooting.

1151
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:15,504
Oh, no!
The gorilla!
That's a par-four!

1152
01:01:15,588 --> 01:01:16,672
(ALL SCREAM)

1153
01:01:16,756 --> 01:01:19,466
The mouth's
too dangerous.
I'm going for the nose.

1154
01:01:19,550 --> 01:01:22,636
Don't be a sucker.
You won't come out
anywhere near the hole.

1155
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:25,972
You need to aim for the jaws
just when they start to close.

1156
01:01:26,057 --> 01:01:28,558
Start to close?
Are you out of your...

1157
01:01:37,527 --> 01:01:38,944
LEELA: We made it!

1158
01:01:42,115 --> 01:01:45,283
Captaining 101.
Go for the nose.

1159
01:01:48,621 --> 01:01:50,080
(GRUNTING)

1160
01:01:50,832 --> 01:01:53,917
My arms are broken,
I'll never paint again.

1161
01:01:54,001 --> 01:01:55,377
(SCREAMING)

1162
01:01:55,461 --> 01:01:57,546
You can't sue the military.

1163
01:01:57,630 --> 01:01:59,214
I'm okay then.

1164
01:01:59,632 --> 01:02:00,674
Damage report.

1165
01:02:00,758 --> 01:02:03,468
We lost all remaining
food and oxygen, Captain.

1166
01:02:03,553 --> 01:02:05,721
As well as our
XM Radio antenna.

1167
01:02:05,805 --> 01:02:07,222
Then this chase is over.

1168
01:02:07,306 --> 01:02:10,684
Kif, set course for the
nearest XM repair facility.

1169
01:02:10,768 --> 01:02:13,687
Meanwhile,
we shall sing top
hits from the '80s.

1170
01:02:13,771 --> 01:02:15,480
Which '80s, sir?

1171
01:02:15,565 --> 01:02:17,941
For me, there
are only one '80s.

1172
01:02:19,485 --> 01:02:22,404
(ZAPP SINGING)
Smell like I sound
I'm lost and I'm found

1173
01:02:22,488 --> 01:02:23,572
(KIF GROANS)

1174
01:02:23,656 --> 01:02:27,868
And I'm hungry like the wolf

1175
01:02:30,329 --> 01:02:32,164
(SCREAMING)

1176
01:02:35,877 --> 01:02:39,463
The shot was too good!
We're jamming straight
for the hole.

1177
01:02:39,547 --> 01:02:41,423
We're gonna crash, even.

1178
01:02:41,507 --> 01:02:46,094
Shmeesh, shmill out,
shmeverybody.
It's a wormhole hole.

1179
01:02:46,512 --> 01:02:52,017
FARNSWORTH: Of course,
a wormhole! We'll simply
disappear and reappear in

1180
01:02:54,353 --> 01:02:56,146
another part of the universe.

1181
01:02:56,230 --> 01:02:57,355
We made it!

1182
01:02:58,357 --> 01:02:59,941
(CHEERING)

1183
01:03:03,154 --> 01:03:06,573
Crud nuggets!
We de-spaced right
next to the Nimbus.

1184
01:03:06,657 --> 01:03:10,368
Just when you think the
chase is over, it gets
twice as exciting!

1185
01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:15,540
(HUMS HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF)

1186
01:03:19,879 --> 01:03:21,421
Hey, look at that.

1187
01:03:21,506 --> 01:03:23,173
Well, well, well.

1188
01:03:23,508 --> 01:03:26,301
My bloodhound-like instincts
must have hunted them down

1189
01:03:26,385 --> 01:03:29,846
while my other parts
were throbbing to Duran Duran.

1190
01:03:30,097 --> 01:03:33,809
Shall I
initiate a pointless and
potentially fatal pursuit?

1191
01:03:33,893 --> 01:03:35,185
Make it so.

1192
01:03:35,269 --> 01:03:37,854
It's gonna be fun
on a bun, in space.

1193
01:03:38,898 --> 01:03:40,315
(ENGINE STARTS)

1194
01:03:40,399 --> 01:03:41,900
(SCREAMING)

1195
01:03:50,618 --> 01:03:54,663
Look! The asteroid.
Now it's crawling
with life.

1196
01:03:54,997 --> 01:03:56,748
Like Zoidberg's sandals!

1197
01:03:57,041 --> 01:04:00,168
Wow! It's incredible.

1198
01:04:00,336 --> 01:04:03,922
But it'll be destroyed
when Leo Wong blows up
the violet dwarf.

1199
01:04:04,131 --> 01:04:06,049
So why are
you helping him?

1200
01:04:06,133 --> 01:04:07,801
I can't tell you, Leela.

1201
01:04:08,177 --> 01:04:09,344
You just have to trust me.

1202
01:04:09,428 --> 01:04:10,887
You keep saying that,

1203
01:04:10,972 --> 01:04:12,639
but you have to give me
something to go on or I...

1204
01:04:12,723 --> 01:04:13,765
(ALARM BLARING)

1205
01:04:13,850 --> 01:04:17,102
FEMALE ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Out of whale oil.
Out of whale oil.

1206
01:04:17,186 --> 01:04:20,021
(GASPS)
The out-of-fuel indicator.
It's indicating.

1207
01:04:21,774 --> 01:04:26,862
Say, what's that
violet-colored dwarf-like star
thing we're drifting into?

1208
01:04:26,946 --> 01:04:28,572
The violet dwarf star!

1209
01:04:30,449 --> 01:04:35,453
Of course. The gorilla
was the 1 8th hole, so we're
headed into the ball return.

1210
01:04:36,247 --> 01:04:38,039
What else now
can go wrong?

1211
01:04:38,124 --> 01:04:39,457
(LOUD BANG)

1212
01:04:42,461 --> 01:04:47,507
Ladies, you're
under arrest. Prepare to
be boarded again and again.

1213
01:04:47,967 --> 01:04:50,218
He'll never take me alive.

1214
01:04:50,303 --> 01:04:53,138
(HACKING)

1215
01:04:53,347 --> 01:04:56,933
Don't give up yet.
I've got one more
trick up my sleeve.

1216
01:04:57,018 --> 01:04:59,144
That's exactly
the number we need.

1217
01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:05,483
The fairer sex.

1218
01:05:05,651 --> 01:05:07,527
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)

1219
01:05:08,321 --> 01:05:12,282
Something's very wrong here,
and yet a little bit right.

1220
01:05:12,366 --> 01:05:13,366
(GUNS COCKING)

1221
01:05:13,451 --> 01:05:15,493
LEELA: Not so fast, Brannigan.

1222
01:05:16,537 --> 01:05:19,205
Even less fast, feministas!

1223
01:05:19,290 --> 01:05:20,749
(GASPING)

1224
01:05:21,042 --> 01:05:22,083
Bender?

1225
01:05:22,168 --> 01:05:23,627
All two tons of me.

1226
01:05:26,547 --> 01:05:28,506
Oye, oye, oye.

1227
01:05:28,591 --> 01:05:32,010
All rise
for the honorable
Chief Justice D-O-G-G

1228
01:05:32,094 --> 01:05:33,637
and the Associate Justices.

1229
01:05:33,721 --> 01:05:35,096
(GRUNTS)

1230
01:05:39,226 --> 01:05:41,353
Yo. Seat it or beat it.

1231
01:05:42,939 --> 01:05:45,982
The charges against
y'all femditos is murder,

1232
01:05:46,067 --> 01:05:50,403
mayhem, vandalism,
kidnapping
and resisting arrest.

1233
01:05:50,613 --> 01:05:52,656
Damn! The big five.

1234
01:05:52,865 --> 01:05:56,076
You may now make
your opening. What you
got to say for yourselves?

1235
01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:57,202
May it please the Court...

1236
01:05:58,245 --> 01:06:00,413
I mean, may it
plizzle the cozizzle.

1237
01:06:00,623 --> 01:06:01,623
Proceed.

1238
01:06:01,707 --> 01:06:03,291
These charges
are outrageous.

1239
01:06:03,376 --> 01:06:07,796
Our only goal was
to save a rare violet star
and its precious ecosystem.

1240
01:06:07,880 --> 01:06:10,006
If protecting the
environment is a
crime, then...

1241
01:06:10,091 --> 01:06:12,384
Protecting the
environment is
a crime.

1242
01:06:12,718 --> 01:06:14,928
(CLEARS THROAT)
I rest my mouth.

1243
01:06:15,012 --> 01:06:17,722
Do you swear to
tell the whole truth
and nothing but the truth?

1244
01:06:17,807 --> 01:06:21,977
l... Well, now,
l... Am I under oath
when I take the oath?

1245
01:06:22,353 --> 01:06:25,271
Can the
witness identify
the feminista leader?

1246
01:06:25,356 --> 01:06:26,606
That's her right there,

1247
01:06:26,691 --> 01:06:29,317
with the "I'm gonna kill
you Bender" look in her eye.

1248
01:06:29,402 --> 01:06:33,196
Hey, aren't you
the robot who robbed
me at gunpoint last year?

1249
01:06:33,406 --> 01:06:35,365
No further answers,
Your Honor.

1250
01:06:35,908 --> 01:06:39,119
Please, Justice Dogg,
Leela and her friends
are completely innocent.

1251
01:06:39,203 --> 01:06:42,580
Hold up.
Were you or were you
not abducted by these hoes?

1252
01:06:43,499 --> 01:06:46,376
Well, abducted is
such an ugly word.

1253
01:06:46,752 --> 01:06:50,797
Mr. Wong, the court cannot
compel you to testify
against your own daughter.

1254
01:06:50,965 --> 01:06:54,968
No. No, I want to.
Also, I got something
to say about my wife.

1255
01:06:55,428 --> 01:06:56,428
Aw, yeah.

1256
01:06:56,512 --> 01:06:57,512
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADSET)

1257
01:06:57,596 --> 01:06:59,014
(HUMMING)

1258
01:06:59,098 --> 01:07:02,475
Having heard some of
the testimony over these
jams I've been listening to,

1259
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:05,270
me and my crew will
now kick it in the mix.

1260
01:07:08,649 --> 01:07:10,608
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

1261
01:07:12,570 --> 01:07:13,945
(GASPING)

1262
01:07:20,995 --> 01:07:22,037
(CHUCKLING)

1263
01:07:22,121 --> 01:07:23,455
(BONES CRACKING)

1264
01:07:24,206 --> 01:07:26,124
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

1265
01:07:28,127 --> 01:07:31,463
All right.
We got us a verdict
up in this High Court.

1266
01:07:31,922 --> 01:07:34,591
Bailiff, drop it like
it's legal precedent.

1267
01:07:34,800 --> 01:07:38,928
ln the matter of
Leo Wong v. The Greenorita
Eco-Feminist Collective,

1268
01:07:39,013 --> 01:07:42,182
four justices vote to
convict, five to acquit.

1269
01:07:42,308 --> 01:07:43,641
(CHEERING)

1270
01:07:43,726 --> 01:07:46,436
However, since the vote was
strictly along gender lines

1271
01:07:46,520 --> 01:07:51,066
and the female justices'
votes only count half,
you are hereby found guilty.

1272
01:07:51,150 --> 01:07:52,567
(GROANING)

1273
01:07:52,651 --> 01:07:56,404
It's a humiliating and
biased system, but
it works.

1274
01:07:56,822 --> 01:07:59,991
Fifty years
in the maximum
security Dogg house.

1275
01:08:00,076 --> 01:08:01,242
(GAVEL BANGS)

1276
01:08:01,327 --> 01:08:02,327
Peace.

1277
01:08:11,587 --> 01:08:13,296
Ladies!

1278
01:08:13,380 --> 01:08:15,131
Welcome to hell.

1279
01:08:15,216 --> 01:08:17,300
Beats Nutley on
a Saturday night.

1280
01:08:17,384 --> 01:08:23,473
This is a privately-owned
for-profit prison, and
I run a tight, cheap ship!

1281
01:08:23,557 --> 01:08:28,228
I've done this by
cutting cost everywhere,
especially on punishment.

1282
01:08:28,312 --> 01:08:32,982
I rely on you
inmates to make prison
unpleasant for yourselves.

1283
01:08:33,067 --> 01:08:35,485
You're encouraged
to sexually harass
new prisoners,

1284
01:08:35,569 --> 01:08:40,115
organize no-holds-barred
catfights and maintain
poor hygiene.

1285
01:08:40,199 --> 01:08:42,283
Try and make me, copper.

1286
01:08:42,368 --> 01:08:44,285
A troublemaker.

1287
01:08:44,370 --> 01:08:45,453
(LAUGHS)

1288
01:08:45,538 --> 01:08:48,289
Taste the lash of my
99-cent-store nightstick!

1289
01:08:48,374 --> 01:08:49,874
(NlGHTSTlCK SQUEAKS)

1290
01:08:51,794 --> 01:08:53,044
Yee-ha!

1291
01:08:53,129 --> 01:08:56,381
With the feministas in
jail, it full speed ahead.

1292
01:08:57,049 --> 01:09:00,635
You and me, Fry.
We implode the violet
dwarf star tomorrow.

1293
01:09:00,719 --> 01:09:01,761
Ka-boom-boom.

1294
01:09:01,846 --> 01:09:03,304
You and me?
Yeah.

1295
01:09:03,389 --> 01:09:04,931
Tomorrow?
Tomorrow.

1296
01:09:05,015 --> 01:09:07,142
Ka-boom?
Ka-boom-boom.

1297
01:09:07,393 --> 01:09:08,601
(EXPLOSlON THUNDERS)

1298
01:09:08,686 --> 01:09:10,353
(EVlL LAUGHTER)

1299
01:09:15,276 --> 01:09:18,444
Hello? Madfellows?
I need to...

1300
01:09:18,529 --> 01:09:19,529
(GROANS)

1301
01:09:21,073 --> 01:09:24,033
Okay, Leo Wong's about to
destroy the violet dwarf.

1302
01:09:24,118 --> 01:09:26,661
So,
whatever I need to know
to stop him, tell me now.

1303
01:09:26,745 --> 01:09:29,581
Alas! Stopping Wong
isn't the only problem.

1304
01:09:29,665 --> 01:09:32,709
One of the Dark Ones will try
to stop you from stopping him.

1305
01:09:32,793 --> 01:09:35,795
So, you must stop it
from stopping you
from stopping him.

1306
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:37,797
But how can I stop
it stop me stop him?

1307
01:09:37,882 --> 01:09:41,551
Stop it! Behold,
the Omega Device.

1308
01:09:43,262 --> 01:09:44,637
(MURMURING)

1309
01:09:44,722 --> 01:09:45,680
FRY: That's it?

1310
01:09:45,764 --> 01:09:49,309
The name "Omega Device"
sort of conjured up
something cooler-looking.

1311
01:09:49,393 --> 01:09:51,436
Not that I'm
disappointed
or anything.

1312
01:09:51,520 --> 01:09:54,439
The important thing
is what's inside.

1313
01:09:54,523 --> 01:09:55,607
What does that look like?

1314
01:09:55,691 --> 01:09:57,275
No one knows, man.

1315
01:09:57,359 --> 01:09:59,194
It was invented
by a blind inventor,

1316
01:09:59,278 --> 01:10:02,113
and the one dude he
described it to was
deaf.

1317
01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:04,157
So the legend goes.

1318
01:10:04,450 --> 01:10:09,245
When activated, the device
will emit a localized
blast of delta-band noise

1319
01:10:09,330 --> 01:10:11,873
to momentarily
disable the Dark One.

1320
01:10:11,957 --> 01:10:13,166
Like farting in a tent?

1321
01:10:13,250 --> 01:10:14,250
No, an elevator.

1322
01:10:14,335 --> 01:10:18,004
Which is why you must
strike the enemy at
point blank range!

1323
01:10:18,088 --> 01:10:19,380
(ALL AGREEING)

1324
01:10:19,465 --> 01:10:22,175
But the Dark One could
look like anything
or anyone, right?

1325
01:10:22,259 --> 01:10:23,801
Or anywhere.

1326
01:10:24,011 --> 01:10:25,887
So, what's your plan
to recognize it?

1327
01:10:25,971 --> 01:10:27,597
We don't have one.
Got it.

1328
01:10:27,681 --> 01:10:29,891
And we don't dare
think of one neither.

1329
01:10:29,975 --> 01:10:33,728
'Cause if we do, the
Dark Ones might sense
kind of the general vibe.

1330
01:10:33,938 --> 01:10:36,314
Even through our mighty foil.

1331
01:10:36,523 --> 01:10:40,026
Oh, man!
Anyone got some
tape or some gum?

1332
01:10:40,152 --> 01:10:44,364
As my colleague indicated,
the plan cannot come from
us, Fry.

1333
01:10:44,448 --> 01:10:45,865
We were counting on you

1334
01:10:45,950 --> 01:10:48,576
and your unreadable brain
to come up with something.

1335
01:10:48,661 --> 01:10:49,661
That was a mistake.

1336
01:10:49,745 --> 01:10:51,037
I see that now.

1337
01:10:51,121 --> 01:10:56,292
Freaky thing is, the
Dark Ones' thoughts are
unreadable, just like yours.

1338
01:10:56,377 --> 01:10:59,170
Yes, if we dared
unwrap our heads,

1339
01:10:59,255 --> 01:11:04,550
we could easily locate the
one other being whose mind
we can't read. The Dark One!

1340
01:11:04,677 --> 01:11:06,970
But then the Dark One
would read our minds

1341
01:11:07,054 --> 01:11:09,430
and crush them like
blood pumpkins.

1342
01:11:09,515 --> 01:11:12,976
Wait. I can read minds
and my mind can't be read.

1343
01:11:13,269 --> 01:11:15,103
I have a plan.
Great.

1344
01:11:15,187 --> 01:11:16,896
Whatever it is, don't tell us.

1345
01:11:16,981 --> 01:11:21,109
Wait. Fry can read minds
and his mind can't be read.

1346
01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:23,945
So he can safely
scan for the Dark One...

1347
01:11:24,029 --> 01:11:25,446
Shut up! Shut up!

1348
01:11:25,531 --> 01:11:27,156
(ALL GIBBERING)

1349
01:11:37,835 --> 01:11:40,253
VOlCE: Leela,
time is running out.

1350
01:11:40,337 --> 01:11:42,755
We must get
to the violet star.

1351
01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:44,799
Okay, okay.
Shut up, already.

1352
01:11:44,883 --> 01:11:46,134
Huh?

1353
01:11:46,218 --> 01:11:47,760
Nobody's talking, Leela.

1354
01:11:47,845 --> 01:11:50,680
We're just
painting each other's
toenails with rat blood.

1355
01:11:50,764 --> 01:11:52,265
Lights out, ladies!

1356
01:11:52,349 --> 01:11:55,184
Those compact fluorescent
bulbs waste pennies a day.

1357
01:11:55,269 --> 01:11:56,561
(CRACKLING)

1358
01:11:57,771 --> 01:11:58,813
(DOOR CLOSES)

1359
01:11:58,897 --> 01:12:00,815
Okay, feministas, all clear.

1360
01:12:00,899 --> 01:12:02,525
Whoa!

1361
01:12:02,609 --> 01:12:05,486
We now go live to Leela
with the escape plan.

1362
01:12:05,612 --> 01:12:06,988
Leela?
Thanks, Linda.

1363
01:12:07,072 --> 01:12:10,283
Now we're in here
because we tried to
save endangered wildlife.

1364
01:12:10,367 --> 01:12:13,619
So this time,
endangered wildlife
will save us.

1365
01:12:13,746 --> 01:12:14,954
(ALL GASPING)

1366
01:12:15,039 --> 01:12:16,998
The Martian muck leech.

1367
01:12:17,082 --> 01:12:20,501
That's right.
He's been living off
me since we got captured.

1368
01:12:20,586 --> 01:12:21,627
(MOANS)

1369
01:12:21,712 --> 01:12:24,130
Little cutie almost
sucked me dry.

1370
01:12:24,423 --> 01:12:26,424
(GROANING)

1371
01:12:26,508 --> 01:12:27,925
(SIGHS)

1372
01:12:28,969 --> 01:12:30,261
(SLURPING)

1373
01:12:31,055 --> 01:12:32,347
(CHEERING)

1374
01:12:32,431 --> 01:12:34,140
Look at him go.

1375
01:12:34,224 --> 01:12:37,602
Like a green snake
through a sugarcane cake.

1376
01:12:37,686 --> 01:12:39,771
HERMES ON CELL PHONE:
Keep trying.

1377
01:12:45,152 --> 01:12:47,111
(RETCHING)

1378
01:12:48,197 --> 01:12:53,368
Our top story. The universe's
most wanted eco-feminists
are now behind bars,

1379
01:12:53,452 --> 01:12:58,456
including gang leader,
Turanga Leela. AKA,
the Notorious B-I-Itch.

1380
01:12:59,917 --> 01:13:03,002
We finished un-pinking
the ship, Hubert.
Now what?

1381
01:13:03,087 --> 01:13:04,629
Now we get back to work.

1382
01:13:04,713 --> 01:13:08,132
And if that means
destroying an ecosystem
or two, so be it.

1383
01:13:08,384 --> 01:13:12,470
I just meant without our
good friends Fry, Leela,
Amy and the robot.

1384
01:13:12,554 --> 01:13:17,183
Oh, boo-hoo.
This is a business, not
a social club. Money talks.

1385
01:13:17,726 --> 01:13:20,520
True wealth is
measured in friendships.

1386
01:13:20,604 --> 01:13:21,896
Shut up, you.

1387
01:13:21,980 --> 01:13:23,731
Life goes on.

1388
01:13:23,816 --> 01:13:27,527
But I believe we'll forever
carry the pain on the inside.

1389
01:13:31,490 --> 01:13:33,950
(CROWING)

1390
01:13:34,660 --> 01:13:38,996
Oh, no, a rooster!
That indicates it's
the following morning.

1391
01:13:41,041 --> 01:13:43,668
How's that creepy
crawler doing?

1392
01:13:43,752 --> 01:13:47,171
I'm sorry, femi-sisters,
but it pooped out
around 3:00 a.m.

1393
01:13:47,256 --> 01:13:49,549
Poor thing couldn't
take another bite.

1394
01:13:49,633 --> 01:13:50,675
(SCREAMS)

1395
01:13:51,468 --> 01:13:53,261
Well, I guess we failed.

1396
01:13:53,345 --> 01:13:56,931
But what matters is,
we tried our best and
we looked good doing it.

1397
01:13:57,015 --> 01:13:58,141
(DEEP THUD)

1398
01:13:58,225 --> 01:13:59,600
(ALL GASPING)

1399
01:14:01,812 --> 01:14:03,938
Bender, is that you?

1400
01:14:04,022 --> 01:14:06,816
Who does it look like?
My identical cousin Buster?

1401
01:14:06,900 --> 01:14:07,984
Yes.

1402
01:14:09,153 --> 01:14:13,448
You're here to break us out?
But you're the one who
put us in.

1403
01:14:13,532 --> 01:14:16,617
But I'm Bender, king
of the combination shot.

1404
01:14:16,702 --> 01:14:21,789
I put you in so that by
busting you out, I could
commit 1 5 felonies at once.

1405
01:14:21,915 --> 01:14:26,169
Put my rap sheet
miles ahead of yours
on the all-time chart.

1406
01:14:26,295 --> 01:14:28,629
You are one
devious bastard.

1407
01:14:28,714 --> 01:14:31,215
That's what it says
on my vanity plate.

1408
01:14:38,807 --> 01:14:39,932
What about the sentries?

1409
01:14:40,017 --> 01:14:41,767
Already taken care of.

1410
01:14:41,894 --> 01:14:44,061
I sent them a cake
laced with nutmeg.

1411
01:14:44,146 --> 01:14:45,813
That's a human
sleeping drug,
right?

1412
01:14:45,898 --> 01:14:48,566
No,
it's a human
baking drug.

1413
01:14:48,650 --> 01:14:49,901
(GROANING)

1414
01:14:49,985 --> 01:14:54,030
Okay, Plan B.
Everyone knows men
have one fatal weakness,

1415
01:14:54,114 --> 01:14:58,117
they can't resist hookers.
Dixie, Trixie, you know
what to do.

1416
01:15:06,084 --> 01:15:07,877
(FALSETTO) Hello, boys!

1417
01:15:07,961 --> 01:15:10,087
(GROANING)

1418
01:15:10,255 --> 01:15:13,591
Your eyes say no,
but your machine
gun fire says...

1419
01:15:13,675 --> 01:15:14,800
(SCREAMING)

1420
01:15:35,280 --> 01:15:37,698
Ladies and gentleman
and whatever,

1421
01:15:37,783 --> 01:15:41,827
welcome to
my most environmentally
disastrous implosion ever.

1422
01:15:42,037 --> 01:15:43,955
A whole star system!

1423
01:15:44,164 --> 01:15:45,790
(CHEERING)

1424
01:15:47,334 --> 01:15:51,128
Kif, old boy,
mind if I sit on your
shoulders for a better view?

1425
01:15:51,213 --> 01:15:54,048
Well,
actually, sir,
I was hoping...

1426
01:15:54,132 --> 01:15:55,216
Thanks.

1427
01:15:55,300 --> 01:15:56,425
(KlF GROANS)

1428
01:15:56,510 --> 01:16:02,056
My associate Philip Fry
here will have honor to
blow this ugly, dirty star

1429
01:16:02,140 --> 01:16:04,100
into nice, clean black hole.

1430
01:16:04,393 --> 01:16:07,311
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

1431
01:16:08,105 --> 01:16:12,191
Fry, careful those wires.
What you doing down there?

1432
01:16:12,276 --> 01:16:15,194
Just polishing
your shoes, Mr. W.

1433
01:16:18,115 --> 01:16:21,659
That nice.
Get between the
toes there, very dirty.

1434
01:16:21,952 --> 01:16:23,369
(SIREN WAILING)

1435
01:16:24,746 --> 01:16:26,330
(GUNS FIRING)

1436
01:16:26,665 --> 01:16:28,874
Well, so much for Plan B.

1437
01:16:28,959 --> 01:16:30,084
What's Plan C?

1438
01:16:30,168 --> 01:16:34,171
All situations have
the same Plan C.
Bending, come on.

1439
01:16:34,339 --> 01:16:35,673
(GRUNTING)

1440
01:16:35,757 --> 01:16:37,341
(WOMEN SCREAMING)

1441
01:16:39,678 --> 01:16:41,554
(GRUNTING)

1442
01:16:42,514 --> 01:16:45,433
We're boned, Bender.
It's a brick wall.

1443
01:16:45,517 --> 01:16:49,270
Granted, it's not on
the list of approved
bendables,

1444
01:16:49,354 --> 01:16:55,860
but I'm so great!

1445
01:17:00,449 --> 01:17:01,657
(DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE)

1446
01:17:01,742 --> 01:17:04,327
Dogs! The boning continues.

1447
01:17:05,370 --> 01:17:08,873
Green Bluebird,
this is Mr. Fabulous.
We are go for cheesing it.

1448
01:17:15,047 --> 01:17:16,714
(BARKING)

1449
01:17:18,050 --> 01:17:19,634
(YELPS)

1450
01:17:20,218 --> 01:17:21,677
(GUNS FIRING)

1451
01:17:26,391 --> 01:17:30,061
Professor! Hermes! Zoidberg!

1452
01:17:32,439 --> 01:17:34,231
Scruffy. A janitor.

1453
01:17:34,399 --> 01:17:35,650
You helped us escape?

1454
01:17:35,734 --> 01:17:39,570
Even after we
locked you in a go-go cage
like common go-go dancers?

1455
01:17:39,655 --> 01:17:45,493
I couldn't
live with myself, Leela.
I call myself a scientist,

1456
01:17:45,577 --> 01:17:49,163
wear the white coat
and probe a monkey
every now and again,

1457
01:17:49,414 --> 01:17:53,751
yet I put monetary gain
ahead of preserving nature.

1458
01:17:53,835 --> 01:17:56,128
Can you ever forgive me?

1459
01:17:56,838 --> 01:17:57,838
I reckon.

1460
01:17:57,923 --> 01:17:59,632
I could kiss you, Professor.

1461
01:17:59,716 --> 01:18:02,385
Okay, but watch
out for my new grill.

1462
01:18:07,766 --> 01:18:09,600
(CHEERING)

1463
01:18:10,268 --> 01:18:13,354
Before the grand
finale, as it were,

1464
01:18:13,438 --> 01:18:17,274
it seems only fitting that l,
Commodore 64 Zapp Brannigan,

1465
01:18:17,359 --> 01:18:19,443
say a few brief
pages in honor of...

1466
01:18:19,528 --> 01:18:23,447
GRAND CURATOR: Whatever
your plan is, Fry, I
suggest you get on with it.

1467
01:18:23,615 --> 01:18:26,534
Get... Shoot, I got hot
sauce on my Number 9 shirt.

1468
01:18:26,952 --> 01:18:31,789
FRY: Okay, locate the Dark One
by finding someone whose
thoughts I can't read.

1469
01:18:32,207 --> 01:18:33,374
And unaccustomed...

1470
01:18:33,458 --> 01:18:36,836
ZAPP: By God!
I'm the greatest
speaker of all time.

1471
01:18:36,962 --> 01:18:40,423
They're suckling at the
teats of my every syllable.

1472
01:18:40,507 --> 01:18:41,799
Allow me now...

1473
01:18:42,467 --> 01:18:46,679
KIF: His voice is like
ear sandpaper. I miss Amy.

1474
01:18:47,097 --> 01:18:48,931
NIXON: The one secret
no one ever suspected

1475
01:18:49,015 --> 01:18:51,517
is that I really did
stage the moon landing.

1476
01:18:52,144 --> 01:18:53,185
On Venus.

1477
01:18:53,895 --> 01:18:55,396
(LAUGHING)

1478
01:18:55,647 --> 01:19:01,068
(SIGHING) If I had all
the money in the world,
I'd... Oh, wait. I do.

1479
01:19:01,194 --> 01:19:03,237
(EVIL CACKLING)

1480
01:19:03,321 --> 01:19:07,783
I'd like to thank the academy,
my agent, and most of all,

1481
01:19:07,868 --> 01:19:12,121
my operating system,
Windows Vista, for
everything it...

1482
01:19:12,205 --> 01:19:13,581
System error.

1483
01:19:13,665 --> 01:19:16,500
Naked ladies. Naked ladies.
Naked ladies. Naked ladies.

1484
01:19:16,585 --> 01:19:20,796
I never should have taken
that accent elimination
class from Jackie Chan.

1485
01:19:21,214 --> 01:19:24,675
And so, as we
obliterize this star,

1486
01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:29,638
let us remember
those immortal words once
spoken by a great man, moi.

1487
01:19:29,723 --> 01:19:33,100
And I quote,
"All good things
must come to an end,

1488
01:19:33,185 --> 01:19:35,478
"preferably in
a humongous explosion."

1489
01:19:35,687 --> 01:19:37,480
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

1490
01:19:37,564 --> 01:19:39,523
Let's pop this beach ball.

1491
01:19:40,192 --> 01:19:42,568
ALL: Ten! Nine!

1492
01:19:43,320 --> 01:19:44,862
Eight!

1493
01:19:44,988 --> 01:19:47,364
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

1494
01:19:48,950 --> 01:19:50,868
There's no
one here whose
thoughts can't be read.

1495
01:19:50,952 --> 01:19:54,038
No one, except me!

1496
01:19:54,372 --> 01:19:57,750
My thoughts
can't be read.
But that's crazy.

1497
01:19:57,876 --> 01:20:01,003
If I were the Dark One,
I'd know it, wouldn't I?

1498
01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:04,673
But, here I am,
right where the
Dark One would be,

1499
01:20:04,758 --> 01:20:06,634
about to blow up the star.

1500
01:20:06,718 --> 01:20:10,137
Oh, God!
Somewhere deep
inside of me, it's me!

1501
01:20:10,222 --> 01:20:11,472
I'm the Dark One!

1502
01:20:11,556 --> 01:20:12,598
(CRASHING)

1503
01:20:12,682 --> 01:20:14,141
(ALL GASP)

1504
01:20:15,185 --> 01:20:16,894
Put your hands in the air!

1505
01:20:17,729 --> 01:20:19,814
Should we wave them
like we just don't care?

1506
01:20:19,898 --> 01:20:21,565
That's optionaI.

1507
01:20:22,275 --> 01:20:26,946
You girl punks gone
too far this time. Your
parents should be ashamed.

1508
01:20:27,072 --> 01:20:28,572
Yes, you should!

1509
01:20:29,699 --> 01:20:30,699
(GASPING)

1510
01:20:30,784 --> 01:20:31,867
Amy?

1511
01:20:31,952 --> 01:20:33,160
Amy!

1512
01:20:33,245 --> 01:20:35,621
VOICE: Destroy the star,
Leo, hurry.

1513
01:20:35,705 --> 01:20:37,957
You got it,
Mr. Voice-in-my-head.

1514
01:20:38,041 --> 01:20:39,333
(HOWLING)

1515
01:20:40,460 --> 01:20:41,919
(BOTH GRUNTING)

1516
01:20:46,508 --> 01:20:50,469
I've gotta admit, Amy,
you got a pretty good
swing.

1517
01:20:51,429 --> 01:20:53,931
Really? Thanks, Dad.

1518
01:20:54,933 --> 01:20:55,933
(GROANS)

1519
01:20:56,017 --> 01:20:59,645
Okay, time to defuse
this star cracker
once and for all.

1520
01:21:00,647 --> 01:21:02,773
Leela, wait.
You're making a mistake.

1521
01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:04,900
You have no idea
what's really going on.

1522
01:21:04,985 --> 01:21:06,652
What is really going on?

1523
01:21:06,736 --> 01:21:07,778
I can't tell you.

1524
01:21:07,863 --> 01:21:10,364
Then why should
I trust you? Why?

1525
01:21:10,448 --> 01:21:13,534
Because... Because...

1526
01:21:20,333 --> 01:21:23,085
You're you. That's
all I need to know.

1527
01:21:24,004 --> 01:21:25,880
No! Don't do it!
Fiddlesticks.

1528
01:21:25,964 --> 01:21:28,090
Leela, are you crazy?

1529
01:21:28,174 --> 01:21:31,385
We became fugitives
and jail-breakers
to stop him.

1530
01:21:31,469 --> 01:21:33,762
And hookers,
don't forget hookers.

1531
01:21:33,847 --> 01:21:35,222
Shame on all of you.

1532
01:21:35,307 --> 01:21:38,309
After everything we've
been through together, do
you really think Fry would...

1533
01:21:38,393 --> 01:21:40,311
(ALL GASPING)

1534
01:21:43,857 --> 01:21:47,902
Goodbye, Leela.
I destroy myself to save you.

1535
01:21:49,487 --> 01:21:50,779
(GASPS)

1536
01:21:58,163 --> 01:22:01,332
Where's the boom?
I was expecting a boom.

1537
01:22:01,499 --> 01:22:05,294
It didn't work.
I'm the Dark One, and
it didn't do anything.

1538
01:22:05,378 --> 01:22:08,255
You're not the Dark One,
I am.

1539
01:22:08,340 --> 01:22:09,590
Leela?

1540
01:22:09,674 --> 01:22:11,800
Not Leela, you moron.
Me!

1541
01:22:12,344 --> 01:22:13,594
(SCREAMS)

1542
01:22:13,678 --> 01:22:15,471
What did you do to me?

1543
01:22:15,722 --> 01:22:17,097
(ALL GASP)

1544
01:22:17,182 --> 01:22:18,223
Ew!

1545
01:22:19,017 --> 01:22:22,728
I am the Dark One.
The very last Dark One.

1546
01:22:22,938 --> 01:22:26,315
How is it possible
I couldn't read your mind?

1547
01:22:27,025 --> 01:22:30,152
Oh, I am momentarily disabled.

1548
01:22:30,278 --> 01:22:32,029
(THUNDER CRASHES)

1549
01:22:32,197 --> 01:22:33,280
(ALL GASP)

1550
01:22:38,870 --> 01:22:41,956
(GASPS) What's
happening out there?

1551
01:22:42,040 --> 01:22:43,999
Somethings wondersful.

1552
01:23:05,313 --> 01:23:07,481
LEELA: The star
and the asteroid.

1553
01:23:07,565 --> 01:23:09,858
They were
an egg and a sperm.

1554
01:23:09,943 --> 01:23:13,487
Great modem of mercy.
Cover the children's eyes.

1555
01:23:13,571 --> 01:23:14,947
There are no children here.

1556
01:23:15,031 --> 01:23:17,241
Then move your fat head.
I can't see.

1557
01:23:28,962 --> 01:23:31,088
(ALL EXCLAlM)

1558
01:23:31,339 --> 01:23:36,301
The Encyclopod is reborn.
A new green age has begun!

1559
01:23:36,386 --> 01:23:38,637
So the legend foretold.

1560
01:23:48,481 --> 01:23:50,566
Look! lnside its pouch.

1561
01:23:50,650 --> 01:23:53,569
Extinct Tasmanian tigers.

1562
01:23:53,820 --> 01:23:55,362
AMY: And dodo birds.

1563
01:23:55,447 --> 01:23:56,864
LEELA: And white rhinos.

1564
01:23:56,948 --> 01:23:59,742
HERMES: And striped
biologist-taunters.

1565
01:23:59,826 --> 01:24:02,077
What are you gonna do,
shoot us?

1566
01:24:07,292 --> 01:24:08,250
Life!

1567
01:24:08,334 --> 01:24:09,710
(GASPING)

1568
01:24:10,837 --> 01:24:16,091
These once extinct plants
and animals are my gift
to the universe.

1569
01:24:16,384 --> 01:24:20,596
Through untold generations,
my race has treasured
their DNA.

1570
01:24:20,972 --> 01:24:25,642
Treat them wisely with
the knowledge that all
species are precious.

1571
01:24:25,935 --> 01:24:29,188
This is unbelievable.
What's going on?

1572
01:24:29,272 --> 01:24:32,149
To answer that,
I must tell you a story.

1573
01:24:32,358 --> 01:24:35,736
A story of two alien
species so ancient that...

1574
01:24:35,820 --> 01:24:37,071
(LEECH SNARLS)

1575
01:24:37,155 --> 01:24:38,822
(ALL SCREAMING)

1576
01:24:38,907 --> 01:24:40,074
(GRUNTS)

1577
01:24:40,158 --> 01:24:42,409
Hutch, are you okay?

1578
01:24:42,494 --> 01:24:44,578
My sister's femi-necklace.

1579
01:24:44,662 --> 01:24:45,746
What?

1580
01:24:46,581 --> 01:24:47,831
(GROANS)

1581
01:24:48,083 --> 01:24:50,626
Hey, how come I can't
read your thoughts anymore?

1582
01:24:50,710 --> 01:24:51,877
(GRUNTS)

1583
01:24:51,961 --> 01:24:56,131
I shall avenge you,
Hutch Waterfall.

1584
01:24:58,176 --> 01:24:59,635
(SCREAMS)

1585
01:25:01,096 --> 01:25:05,724
After all these eons,
the Dark Ones are
no more.

1586
01:25:05,809 --> 01:25:10,312
Will you
preserve their DNA,
O Great Encyclopod?

1587
01:25:11,731 --> 01:25:15,067
I suppose I should.
Wait, where did it go?

1588
01:25:15,902 --> 01:25:17,402
(SLURPING)

1589
01:25:18,738 --> 01:25:19,738
What?

1590
01:25:19,989 --> 01:25:24,743
Well, at any rate,
I shall preserve the
DNA of Homo sapiens.

1591
01:25:30,834 --> 01:25:33,961
I thought you only saved
the DNA of endangered species.

1592
01:25:34,045 --> 01:25:35,045
Farewell.

1593
01:25:37,340 --> 01:25:38,549
I guess he didn't hear me.

1594
01:25:38,633 --> 01:25:42,719
Well, looks like that
wraps everything up in a
nice big, old, fat sack of...

1595
01:25:42,804 --> 01:25:47,558
I hereby arrest you
fugitives on 53
counts of fugivity.

1596
01:25:47,642 --> 01:25:51,186
Kif, round them up,
and spare me the
weary sigh for once.

1597
01:25:51,980 --> 01:25:52,980
Kif.

1598
01:25:53,857 --> 01:25:55,232
KlF: Wait for me.

1599
01:26:08,746 --> 01:26:12,958
Well, this is the end.
There was so many things
I wanted to say to you.

1600
01:26:13,042 --> 01:26:14,501
Like what?

1601
01:26:14,586 --> 01:26:16,211
Like this is not the end.

1602
01:26:16,296 --> 01:26:18,672
But mostly just,
I love you, Leela.

1603
01:26:18,756 --> 01:26:20,924
(LOUD BANG)

1604
01:26:21,092 --> 01:26:26,138
Maybe I waited too long
to say this, but I love
you, too. Wormhole!

1605
01:26:27,348 --> 01:26:30,851
Sweet topology of
cosmology, it's huge!

1606
01:26:30,935 --> 01:26:35,522
If we fly into it,
it could take us trillions
of light years away.

1607
01:26:35,607 --> 01:26:38,150
There's no knowing
if we'll ever return.

1608
01:26:38,234 --> 01:26:40,611
What do we do?
Should we go for it?

1609
01:26:44,240 --> 01:26:48,493
lnto the
breach, meatbags.
Or not. Whatever.

1610
01:26:48,578 --> 01:26:51,622
ALL: Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go.