1
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,084
Yes, 10!
2
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,019
Well done, Cubonius.
3
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,893
You decapitated the unicorn.
4
00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:40,329
- Swell.
- All right.
5
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:43,266
Oh, oh!
We search his tail pouch for treasure.
6
00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:46,600
Deep in the unicorn's rump sack, you find
7
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:50,542
60 gold pieces
8
00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:55,273
and a mysterious scrap of cloth bearing
the unmistakable stench of dwarf urine.
9
00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:58,316
The same stench
that was on the bed linens at the inn?
10
00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:01,114
- The very same.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
11
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:03,985
I cast a spell of detect magic.
12
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:08,222
What you doing, mini-meatbags?
Underage gambling?
13
00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:09,386
Shame on you.
14
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:10,622
Count me in.
15
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,595
We're not gambling.
We're playing Dungeons & Dragons.
16
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:17,727
Right now, we're fighting for our lives
in the lair of the dragon queen.
17
00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:21,434
Wrong, right now you're
ass-deep in a folding chair.
18
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:25,910
Yes, but in my imagination
I'm riding a golden Pegasus.
19
00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:27,274
Giddy up, Sparky!
20
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:30,406
Am I the only one seeing him sitting here
with peanut butter on his face?
21
00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:33,452
Bender, were you built
without an imagination?
22
00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:36,647
What? Don't be stupid, of course not.
23
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,488
It just hasn't descended yet.
24
00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:47,127
Fry, do I have an imagination?
25
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:49,360
I don't know, Bender. Why do you ask?
26
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,403
Were the other boys making fun of you?
27
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:54,768
Mmm-hmm.
They said I couldn't imagine things.
28
00:02:54,874 --> 00:02:57,707
Well, you never know unless you try.
29
00:02:57,810 --> 00:02:59,971
Like, I didn't know
if I could swallow a softball,
30
00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:02,741
so I gave it my best shot and voilą!
31
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:04,716
Wait, that's not it.
32
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,377
There she blows.
33
00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:10,084
Warning, out of dark matter fuel.
34
00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:11,485
That's not a warning.
35
00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:14,754
A warning is supposed to come
before something bad happens.
36
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:18,524
Warning,
engines will shut down in one second.
37
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:20,098
That's more like it.
38
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:26,761
Uh-oh.
39
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,467
This space neighborhood
looks kind of sketchy.
40
00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:34,173
Rock 'n' roll.
41
00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:37,775
That punk stole our hood ornament.
42
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,648
Now no one will know
we have the LX package.
43
00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:43,221
We need dark matter and we need it fast.
44
00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:46,451
Fry, check Nibbler's litter box.
Maybe he dropped a steamer.
45
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,617
Aye, aye, Captain.
46
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:54,297
Yes! I've never been so excited
to see poop.
47
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:55,726
Well, maybe once.
48
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:04,367
There's gas in our ass.
49
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:20,219
Can you believe the price of dark matter?
50
00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:24,023
It'd be cheaper to fill the tank
with Nobel Prize winners' sperm.
51
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:29,067
Total dark matter purchase: $632.14.
52
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:31,500
Your Speedpass will now be charged.
53
00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:34,670
You lousy...
54
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,174
Hey, gets a loads of that ugly ship.
55
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,404
What shades of green is that? Puke?
56
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:45,273
For your information
it's called Electric Mucus.
57
00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:46,647
More like puke.
58
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:48,552
Whoa!
59
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:52,716
Yeah, why don't you come a little closer
so my boot can hear you?
60
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:56,226
Calm down, Leela.
You can vent tonight on your blog.
61
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:59,730
What's the matters,
you couldn't affords the LX package?
62
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:01,196
Puke-a-doodle-do.
63
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:03,525
You're making fun of our ship?
64
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:06,104
Your ship is the most beat-up thing
I've ever seen,
65
00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:08,400
and I've seen Mickey Rourke's head.
66
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:10,601
Yeah, she's a little worky,
67
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:14,806
but you got to gets big time ugly to be
five-time winners at a demolition derby.
68
00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:21,043
That's five more times than we've won
or even entered.
69
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,678
We do suck.
70
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:26,190
Yup, and it's gonna be six winses
after tonights.
71
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:28,584
We'll sees abouts that.
72
00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:34,633
Dark matter costs have tripled,
so we must reduce expenses.
73
00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:37,965
Therefore, we will no longer provide
complimentary porno magazines
74
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,060
in the lounge.
75
00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:43,740
- Darn it.
- And no more wasting fuel.
76
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:47,540
From now on I'll be keeping a tight hold
on the keys to the ship,
77
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:51,879
swallowing them before I go to bed
and recovering them the next morning.
78
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:55,248
Professor, it's 4:00.
79
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:58,486
4:00 in the evening? Then, good night.
80
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,496
I don't care what the Professor says.
81
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:08,931
We're entering that demolition derby
to prove our ship isn't a piece of junk.
82
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,629
But won't that turn our ship
into a piece of junk?
83
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,672
Shut up, Zoidberg.
84
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:14,831
He's right, Leela.
85
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:18,308
But we have no choice.
Rednecks insulted us.
86
00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:21,539
So? Let it go.
Don't let your temper get the better of...
87
00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:23,842
Rednecks!
88
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,315
Using this magneto,
89
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:36,885
I will now guide the keys up the thorax
and out via the frontal face hole.
90
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:45,832
That's the storage locker, the bolt,
the other bolt, pay dirt!
91
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:52,310
Rocket ship
92
00:06:55,815 --> 00:07:00,445
Rocket ship
93
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,555
Greetings, sports fans.
94
00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:12,187
Though whether
this outpouring of inbreds
95
00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:14,960
can in fact be classified as a sport
96
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:19,197
is a subject of no small scholarly debate.
97
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:24,206
Well, wells, well, if it ain'ts
Princess Pukerella
98
00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:26,471
and her pukey puke-mobile.
99
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:29,070
Oh, yeah? Well... Shut up.
100
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:30,979
- Good comeback, Leela.
- You shut up, too.
101
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:35,354
Rich Little, here, as Howard Cosell.
102
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:40,051
And now to grace us with its rendition
of the national anthem,
103
00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:43,595
please welcome what is left
of the Dixie Chicks
104
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:47,462
after their tragic
matter transporter accident.
105
00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:50,565
We're in horrible pain.
106
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,465
And we are underway.
107
00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:10,588
Whoas!
108
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:12,587
Yes! Now we're inflicting.
109
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:17,629
Outstanding! Tonight we are
witnessing a veritable clinic
110
00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:22,793
and that ludicrous hullabaloo
known as demolition derby.
111
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,143
Way to kill the franchise, Bakula.
112
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:41,482
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are down to our final two ships.
113
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:47,287
In the storied annals of demolition derby,
today will surely be remembered,
114
00:08:47,393 --> 00:08:50,692
if only as the day
upon which I was absorbed
115
00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:55,563
into that hideous conglomeration
once known as the Dixie Chicks.
116
00:08:56,936 --> 00:08:58,733
Buckle your sphincters.
117
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:04,273
- No! No!
- No!
118
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:08,211
- That broad's insanes.
- But you're insansier, right?
119
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:10,579
Nah, I guess nots.
120
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:13,743
I've decideds to relax
and enjoy life from now ons.
121
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,228
Yes! We did it!
122
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:33,895
And Planet Express takes the trophy.
123
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:42,105
Rocket ship
124
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:55,623
Now, I'll use the magnet
to get the keys back in there.
125
00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:58,754
What? You mean I cut a big hole
in him for nothing?
126
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,468
Don't worry, the Professor
won't even remember
127
00:10:05,571 --> 00:10:06,765
that he has a spaceship.
128
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:09,406
My precious spaceship.
129
00:10:09,508 --> 00:10:13,342
My lone source of joy
in the cold December of my days.
130
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:18,008
Come, friends. Let's take her for a spin
to the malt shop like old times.
131
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:21,951
Leela to Zoidberg.
Execute Distraction Protocol Alpha.
132
00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:23,146
Roger that.
133
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:26,291
Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!
134
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,958
Don't look at me.
135
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:36,463
Yes, she's a wonderful ship, all right.
136
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:40,699
As beautiful now
as the day I got botched laser eye surgery.
137
00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:42,433
Now, that's odd.
138
00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:44,372
What's the fuel gauge doing on the...
139
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,170
Great Godzilla's gonads!
140
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,772
Who wasted precious fuel?
Answer now or be punished.
141
00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:56,077
- All right, fine. I admit it.
- You will be punished.
142
00:10:57,923 --> 00:10:59,447
Oh, my gosh, 20!
143
00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:01,048
Yeah.
144
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,025
Your pole arm does double damage,
145
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:06,121
and the gelatinous cube dies
in horrible poverty.
146
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,624
- All right.
- Hooray.
147
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:13,193
I proceed to cast a spell of darkness.
148
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,204
Most ingenious.
149
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,768
- Bender?
- Me?
150
00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:22,473
I cast a spell of darkness.
151
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:25,614
Pretty imaginative, huh?
152
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:29,916
No, you just did the same thing as me,
but with a dumb noise.
153
00:11:30,122 --> 00:11:31,089
Oh...
154
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:36,590
You're right. I'm great in every way
except I have no imagination.
155
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:41,258
All I ever wanted is to play
this magical game and I can't.
156
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:44,825
Yes, you can. You just have
to lose yourself in the fantasy.
157
00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:48,100
You have to believe the impossible
is merely preposterous.
158
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,300
Okay. Here goes.
159
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:51,934
Visor down.
160
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:54,704
I believe, I believe.
161
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:57,413
Ooh.
162
00:11:58,084 --> 00:12:00,314
I did it! I imagined something.
163
00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:04,822
For 1.3 milliseconds,
I truly believed I was a noble robot
164
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,414
in days of yonder.
165
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,359
Way to go, Bender.
166
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,827
What is thy character's name, good sir?
167
00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:12,463
Uh, um...
168
00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:15,326
I am Titanius Inglesmith,
169
00:12:15,434 --> 00:12:17,334
fancy man of Cornwood.
170
00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:23,639
Everybody out of the conference room.
I am calling a conference.
171
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,301
Everybody get in here.
172
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:30,509
You wasted precious fuel just because
you were insulted by some redneck yokel
173
00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:32,174
from beyond the stars?
174
00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:35,014
- It was only half a ball.
- That's not the point.
175
00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:36,883
Your temper is out of control.
176
00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:38,957
And to think I'd have never even known
177
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:43,324
if it weren't for the lengthy
and unsolicited tattling of Dr. Zoidberg.
178
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:46,130
She also took home
two rolls of Scotch tape.
179
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:48,132
Thank you, Dr. Zoidberg.
180
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:50,930
Hermes, incentivize that employee.
181
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:58,042
As for you, Leela, I'm letting you off
with a warning.
182
00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,973
Oh, thank you.
183
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:04,709
A warning that will be administered
by this 50,000-volt shock collar.
184
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:09,114
Zoidberg, I'm gonna put my boot
so far up your cloaca, you'll be...
185
00:13:09,221 --> 00:13:10,347
Ow!
186
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:14,722
The collar will be triggered any time
your thoughts turn to violence.
187
00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:16,952
Profanity.
188
00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:18,324
Son of a...
189
00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:20,955
Or perversions of a sexual nature.
190
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:22,968
Ow!
191
00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:26,932
Sorry, it's the only collar
they had in stock at Office Depot.
192
00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:30,406
I hope you picked up some Scotch tape
while you were there.
193
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:33,602
That's a good one.
194
00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:44,378
Imagine, if you will,
an announcer you can barely understand.
195
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:45,646
He refers to a...
196
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:46,725
(GIBBERISH)
197
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,225
But you're not quite sure what he said.
198
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:51,954
He seems to be eating something,
or perhaps he's a little drunk.
199
00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:56,433
It's remotely possible that he just said
something about The Scary Door.
200
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:12,946
Firing, sir!
201
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:15,344
It's all over. Our guns and bombs
202
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:19,447
- are useless against the aliens.
- The saucers! Theys are crashing!
203
00:14:24,463 --> 00:14:27,990
In the end, it was not guns
or bombs that defeated the aliens,
204
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:31,831
but that humblest of all God's creatures,
the Tyrannosaurus Rex.
205
00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:41,110
I can't believe TiVo suggested
that piece of... Ow!
206
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:42,742
Come on, Hermes.
207
00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:45,942
Surely you have the authority
to remove this damn collar.
208
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:49,713
Alas, no.
I got the key but not the authority.
209
00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:50,822
Yeow!
210
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,620
Well, who does have the authority?
211
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,388
Only the staff doctor.
You'll have to convince him
212
00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:58,224
that you have resolved your anger issues.
213
00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:02,198
I don't have any god...
mother... anger issues.
214
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:07,798
As your dwarf-skin canoe rounds a bend
you suddenly see...
215
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,034
A terrifying red dragon.
216
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:13,072
What do we do? What do we do?
217
00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:14,509
Wait, I know.
218
00:15:14,613 --> 00:15:17,241
I make use of my rod of fireballs.
219
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,346
Everyone knows red dragons
are immune to fireballs
220
00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:27,152
as well as all other forms
of incendiary attack.
221
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:31,593
Yes, but I aim not at the dragon
but at the river itself,
222
00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:34,757
to create a shroud of steam
through which we can escape.
223
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,459
Whoa!
224
00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:40,595
Sweet pony of Sierra Leone, it worked!
225
00:15:41,573 --> 00:15:43,040
- We did it!
- Yeah!
226
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:45,575
Bender, smell this milk.
227
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:48,909
I go not by the name of Bender,
you fleshy fool,
228
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:53,542
I am Titanius Inglesmith,
fancy man of Cornwood.
229
00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:58,813
Professor, something's bothering me.
230
00:15:58,924 --> 00:16:02,325
Well, you can
always talk to me about anything, Fry.
231
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:04,055
What's on your mind?
232
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:06,495
Well, it's about my friend Bender.
233
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,463
Mmm. I see.
234
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:13,170
Show me on this anatomically correct doll
exactly where he touched you.
235
00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:17,709
No, it's nothing like that.
It's just that I am worried about him.
236
00:16:17,843 --> 00:16:20,710
He's being playing an awful lot
of Dungeons & Dragons.
237
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:25,079
Dungeons &... Good God!
Hasn't he seen the Afterschool Special?
238
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,308
You've got to talk to him, Fry.
239
00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:31,082
Make him quit now,
before he completely loses his mind.
240
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,982
- Okay, I will.
- Good boy.
241
00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:36,853
Just don't let him touch you down there.
242
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:44,535
Well, here's your problem, right here.
You've got a skull embedded in your head.
243
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:49,137
You're absolutely right, Doctor.
Can the collar come off now?
244
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:53,634
Let me just peel your head a little
and see if I can get that skull out.
245
00:16:57,349 --> 00:17:01,513
So, you tell me, little miss expert,
why always with the temper?
246
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,451
Calm down for once and think.
247
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:06,854
Here, enjoy a relaxing spritz
from my empathy bladder.
248
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:11,620
What is it, already?
What's the cause of your anger?
249
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:15,127
I guess I would have to say, I hate you.
250
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:19,999
I'm beginning to understand.
It all goes back to your parents.
251
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,300
- What?
- You have a resentment
252
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:24,808
because they pushed you
to study medicine,
253
00:17:24,943 --> 00:17:28,572
when all you ever wanted
was to be a song-and-dance man.
254
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:36,286
Why? Why?
255
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:38,320
I was raised in an orphanarium.
256
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:39,721
My parents are sewer mutants
257
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:42,259
who I never even met
until a few years ago.
258
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:45,955
Then you've got to go to them
and work this song-and-dance stuff out.
259
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:49,694
Maybe have them cook me nice dinner.
No scallions. I hate them.
260
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:53,963
- Amy, cancel my appointments.
- Stop calling me.
261
00:18:00,979 --> 00:18:03,209
Bender, please don't get mad,
262
00:18:03,315 --> 00:18:06,773
but I think you might be playing too much
Dungeons & Dragons.
263
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,910
You're absolutely right, Fry.
264
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:12,513
I almost went insane,
but after this heart-to-heart talk,
265
00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:14,683
- I've decided to quit.
- Really?
266
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:16,953
Whew! That's a load off my toad.
267
00:18:17,062 --> 00:18:18,825
Now, if you'll excuse me.
268
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,627
I'm off to slay the werewolf
of Goblin Mountain.
269
00:18:29,908 --> 00:18:31,739
On guard, man-wench!
270
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,812
Prepare to cross blades.
271
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:36,046
You couldn't afford it, honey.
272
00:18:39,418 --> 00:18:44,412
Foolish leprechaun, I scoop your treasure
in the name of the fancy men.
273
00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:49,019
He also left a small pile
of treasure on the living room rug.
274
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,621
Foul dragon, meet thy doom.
275
00:19:13,118 --> 00:19:15,814
- Would you like a napkin, Doctor?
- Thank you.
276
00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:21,492
Satisfied, Zoidberg?
My relationship with my parents is fine.
277
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:25,423
Now, hold on, Leela.
Maybe this torture collar is good for you.
278
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:26,498
What? Ow!
279
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:28,122
It'll control your temper.
280
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:31,566
Men like a woman who's not always
slamming their head in the car door.
281
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,138
She's right. That's what first attracted me
to your mother.
282
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:39,742
So, Leela, I understand your friend here
is a physician,
283
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,075
and I'm not seeing a ring on his claw.
284
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,240
Mom, he's a cockroach from outer space.
285
00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:47,985
Good, Leela, work that anger out.
286
00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:50,816
Excuse me a moment,
I'm swarming with parasites.
287
00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:57,618
Hey, it's what's-his-name from the surface.
288
00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,162
The bi-clops.
289
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:03,698
Have you seen Bender? He's gone nuts.
Also, smell this milk.
290
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:09,663
Prepare for a surprise attack.
291
00:20:10,909 --> 00:20:12,206
Someone do something.
292
00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:15,747
I would, but... Ow! Take my collar off.
293
00:20:15,847 --> 00:20:17,838
I can't, I'm still eating.
294
00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:22,684
Help me, Leela.
295
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:28,956
I cast upon thee a spell of fireball!
296
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:44,372
No.
297
00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:46,103
Not the spork.
298
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:50,779
Beholdeth, Titanius,
I cast a freeze ray upon you.
299
00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:55,080
That's ridiculous.
There's no such thing as a freeze ray.
300
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,182
- What, you mean a cone of coldness?
- Yeah, that.
301
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:03,618
No! No! Fancy men are defenseless
against cone of coldness.
302
00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:06,787
I'm freezing... What?
303
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:09,796
Bender, no.
304
00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:13,204
When will young people learn that
Dungeons & Dragons
305
00:21:13,305 --> 00:21:14,829
won't make you cool?
306
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,204
Relax, Fry. I'm a doctor.
307
00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:20,403
I'm sure the robot
will be just fine with a little help.
308
00:21:21,313 --> 00:21:23,543
Help, help.
309
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:26,544
Help!
310
00:21:38,897 --> 00:21:40,728
Please, send in the patient.
311
00:21:40,899 --> 00:21:41,888
Yes, Doctor.
312
00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:51,806
So, Bender, I understand you're having
trouble separating fantasy from reality.
313
00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:54,003
Says who? Was it the bugbear?
314
00:21:54,112 --> 00:21:57,081
- Is he talking about me again?
- I understand.
315
00:21:57,182 --> 00:21:58,547
Commence therapy.
316
00:22:01,853 --> 00:22:03,878
Tell me about your feelings.
317
00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:08,422
Poor Bender.
318
00:22:08,527 --> 00:22:11,018
Says here to tell his friends he's at a spa.
319
00:22:11,396 --> 00:22:13,660
- So what happened to Bender?
- He's at a spa.
320
00:22:13,765 --> 00:22:16,233
Wow, there's a spa in the nut house?
321
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:20,499
Friends, friends, stop everything.
There's food in this shaker.
322
00:22:24,443 --> 00:22:25,432
Ow!
323
00:22:25,544 --> 00:22:28,945
Enough already!
Can you please remove this anger collar?
324
00:22:29,047 --> 00:22:31,743
- Are you still angry?
- No. Ow!
325
00:22:31,883 --> 00:22:33,407
It also shocks you when you lie.
326
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:35,884
Quiet, everyone. The network news is on.
327
00:22:35,987 --> 00:22:40,686
And if I, a 165-year-old man,
don't watch it, who will?
328
00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:44,326
Thankfully, the amazing talking horse
was rescued
329
00:22:44,429 --> 00:22:46,897
and safely returned
to the meat department.
330
00:22:49,801 --> 00:22:52,361
Turning to the less stupid portion
of our broadcast,
331
00:22:52,471 --> 00:22:57,101
fuel prices hit an all-time high today
due to the ongoing dark matter shortage.
332
00:22:57,209 --> 00:23:00,542
Earlier, our own Morbo
sat down with Mom,
333
00:23:00,645 --> 00:23:04,547
CEO of Mom 's Friendly
Multinational Energy Conglomerate.
334
00:23:14,493 --> 00:23:17,360
Oh! Hello, Morbo the Annihilator, here,
335
00:23:17,529 --> 00:23:21,431
sitting down to a delightful tea
in this fake living room set.
336
00:23:21,833 --> 00:23:23,528
Thank you for joining us, Mom.
337
00:23:23,635 --> 00:23:25,762
My pleasure, sugarplum.
338
00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:29,304
Mom, you control the world's
only dark matter mine.
339
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:32,335
Tell us, why are fuel prices so high?
340
00:23:32,444 --> 00:23:34,309
Oh! It's terrible, isn't it?
341
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:37,613
Dark matter is just so rare nowadays,
342
00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:41,482
but we'll keep pinching loaf after loaf
from the bowels of the earth,
343
00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:44,248
even if I lose money on every log.
344
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:49,588
If you are losing money, how did you
post record profits last quarter?
345
00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:55,496
You look thin, care for one of my
famous pecan clusters?
346
00:23:57,135 --> 00:24:01,037
Morbo shouldn't. It will go straight
to Morbo's gargantuan forehead.
347
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:05,337
Oh, what the heck? I guess I could destroy
one or two of them.
348
00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:10,672
Do people care enough to drill
for dark matter
349
00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:13,717
even in an Alaskan wildlife refuge?
350
00:24:14,252 --> 00:24:15,378
People do.
351
00:24:15,487 --> 00:24:20,015
Greedy old hag, taste the wrath
of my fuzzy slipper.
352
00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:26,522
Professor, why are you so hot and dusty
over this dark matter shortage?
353
00:24:27,966 --> 00:24:33,700
I bet you'd like to know.
I bet you'd like to know, indeed.
354
00:25:04,035 --> 00:25:06,401
Hello, Mother. How did the interview go?
355
00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:09,372
It made me want to puke my face off.
356
00:25:09,574 --> 00:25:11,667
- Where's my Thigh Blaster?
- Right here, Mom.
357
00:25:11,776 --> 00:25:13,744
- Shut up!
- Okay, thank you.
358
00:25:14,746 --> 00:25:16,873
Burn, you damn thighs. Burn!
359
00:25:17,415 --> 00:25:20,873
Mommy, are you upset
'cause of the dark matter shortage?
360
00:25:20,986 --> 00:25:23,648
There is no shortage,
you moronic ass-brain!
361
00:25:23,755 --> 00:25:25,154
There's not? But you said...
362
00:25:26,424 --> 00:25:31,691
Allow me to explain. Suppose this hand
represents current reserves of dark matter
363
00:25:31,796 --> 00:25:34,390
and this hand represents
consumer demand.
364
00:25:34,799 --> 00:25:36,096
Uh-huh.
365
00:25:41,806 --> 00:25:44,707
I just bet you'd like to know
why I'm so angry
366
00:25:44,809 --> 00:25:46,674
about this dark matter shortage.
367
00:25:46,778 --> 00:25:49,303
I bet very much you'd like to know.
368
00:25:49,414 --> 00:25:51,507
You're right, Professor.
We would like to know.
369
00:25:51,616 --> 00:25:54,813
Really? I didn't think anyone
was interested.
370
00:25:55,487 --> 00:25:58,979
It all started 30-odd years ago.
371
00:25:59,925 --> 00:26:03,361
I was working in Mom 's laboratories
for the third time
372
00:26:03,461 --> 00:26:06,589
after twice before realizing
how evil she was
373
00:26:06,765 --> 00:26:09,165
and vowing never to work for her again.
374
00:26:10,702 --> 00:26:15,435
But somehow the rich,
wrong stench of her boney charms
375
00:26:15,540 --> 00:26:17,508
kept calling me back.
376
00:26:19,110 --> 00:26:22,136
Don't stop, Professor. I'm getting aroused.
377
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:26,877
Back in those days, dark matter
was just a worthless inert curiosity,
378
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,982
and I was smashing it
in a particle accelerator,
379
00:26:30,088 --> 00:26:35,185
in an ill-conceived attempt
to create a more durable harpsichord wax.
380
00:26:35,927 --> 00:26:39,829
But, as Deepak Chopra taught us,
quantum physics means
381
00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:43,230
anything can happen at any time
for no reason.
382
00:26:43,368 --> 00:26:45,336
Also, eat plenty of oatmeal,
383
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:47,598
and animals never had a war.
384
00:26:47,706 --> 00:26:49,537
Who's the real animals?
385
00:26:50,809 --> 00:26:56,441
And thus against all probabilities,
it happened.
386
00:27:05,423 --> 00:27:06,390
Dang!
387
00:27:06,524 --> 00:27:10,654
I'm sure I don't need to explain
that all dark matter in the universe
388
00:27:10,762 --> 00:27:14,721
is linked in the form
of a single non-local meta-particle.
389
00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:17,501
Stop patronizing us.
390
00:27:17,602 --> 00:27:22,198
So, in one instant, I had transformed
all dark matter everywhere
391
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:24,605
into a new crystalline form...
392
00:27:24,943 --> 00:27:28,709
...making it the most potent fuel
since primitive man first ignited
393
00:27:28,813 --> 00:27:31,441
mastodon flatulence to heat his cave.
394
00:27:31,549 --> 00:27:35,451
I'm intrigued, Hubert.
You have my undivided attention.
395
00:27:44,029 --> 00:27:46,793
Shut up, you milk-sucking leeches!
396
00:27:47,832 --> 00:27:49,527
A new super fuel, eh?
397
00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:51,636
- We're rich.
- Indeed, we are.
398
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:54,236
Not you, we. Us, we.
399
00:27:55,340 --> 00:27:57,774
I'm getting back together
with my ex-husband.
400
00:27:57,876 --> 00:27:59,366
Wernstrom!
401
00:28:02,213 --> 00:28:04,443
You've been played, Farnsworth.
402
00:28:04,549 --> 00:28:06,517
Played like a cheap harpsichord.
403
00:28:06,618 --> 00:28:09,382
Walt, fire that employee
like Mommy taught you.
404
00:28:17,762 --> 00:28:20,287
Professor, maybe I can help you
get even with Mom.
405
00:28:20,398 --> 00:28:24,061
I spend most of my time thinking about
how to get revenge on a bad boss.
406
00:28:24,169 --> 00:28:25,500
- Me, too.
- Likewise.
407
00:28:25,603 --> 00:28:27,366
I made a blinding powder.
408
00:28:27,472 --> 00:28:29,838
Thanks, but that won't be necessary
409
00:28:29,941 --> 00:28:32,341
because I have the ultimate weapon.
410
00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:37,212
You see, in the instant
the energy crystal was created,
411
00:28:37,315 --> 00:28:39,715
there also came into being
an opposite crystal
412
00:28:39,818 --> 00:28:42,252
made of pure anti-backwards energy.
413
00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:44,745
- Wow!
- Wow!
414
00:28:44,856 --> 00:28:46,790
- So?
- So, this!
415
00:28:46,891 --> 00:28:48,722
If ever the two crystals should meet,
416
00:28:48,827 --> 00:28:52,558
their wave functions would collapse
like Raymond Burr's trampoline,
417
00:28:52,664 --> 00:28:57,101
once again rendering all dark matter
inert and useless as fuel.
418
00:28:57,202 --> 00:28:58,567
But then we'll have no fuel.
419
00:28:58,670 --> 00:29:03,004
But once we free society
from dependence on Mom's dark matter,
420
00:29:03,108 --> 00:29:07,670
scientists will finally care enough
to develop cleaner, alternative fuels.
421
00:29:07,779 --> 00:29:09,406
Scientists like you?
422
00:29:09,514 --> 00:29:13,883
No, not me.
I'm too busy developing makeup for dogs.
423
00:29:13,985 --> 00:29:15,680
That's where the money is.
424
00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:19,617
This is our chance to teach Mom a lesson.
Come on!
425
00:29:19,724 --> 00:29:23,091
Let's take the anti-crystal
and shove it up Mom's regular crystal.
426
00:29:23,194 --> 00:29:24,786
- Yeah.
- Fight the power!
427
00:29:25,530 --> 00:29:29,227
There's just one, small problem,
and it's a big one.
428
00:29:29,334 --> 00:29:32,132
I hid the crystal
and I can't remember where.
429
00:29:32,270 --> 00:29:35,535
Well, surely it's just a matter of waiting
till you next move your bowels
430
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:39,303
- and then using a potato masher...
- Don't you think I already tried that?
431
00:29:39,410 --> 00:29:43,073
No. I'm afraid, the crystal is lost forever.
432
00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:48,078
Nine? You did it.
You outwitted the fungus.
433
00:29:49,053 --> 00:29:50,315
Who needs girls?
434
00:29:52,590 --> 00:29:56,890
Since you have all proven resistant
to individualized hammer therapy,
435
00:29:57,061 --> 00:30:00,053
I now prescribe group therapy.
436
00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:08,439
Everything must be clean, very clean.
437
00:30:08,540 --> 00:30:11,703
That's why the dog had to die.
He was a dirty dog. Dirty, dirty.
438
00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:14,301
Also, that boy, Elroy. Dirty, dirty.
439
00:30:14,412 --> 00:30:17,313
Who would like to share their feelings?
440
00:30:17,415 --> 00:30:19,883
- I feel unappreciated at work.
- What?
441
00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:22,748
- I can barely understand you.
- I said I feel...
442
00:30:22,854 --> 00:30:24,344
Change places.
443
00:30:27,025 --> 00:30:31,826
Well, well. Looks like old Roberto
is the focus of attention now.
444
00:30:32,430 --> 00:30:33,863
Stop looking at me.
445
00:30:36,734 --> 00:30:38,429
Calm down, Roberto.
446
00:30:38,536 --> 00:30:40,629
Tell us about your childhood.
447
00:30:40,738 --> 00:30:43,935
I was designed by a team of engineers
attempting to build
448
00:30:44,042 --> 00:30:47,739
an insane robot. But it seems they failed.
449
00:30:48,546 --> 00:30:50,036
Actually...
450
00:30:52,584 --> 00:30:56,577
Look, we have to accept the fact
that we all have a serious problem.
451
00:30:56,688 --> 00:31:00,124
And if we ever wanna get out of here,
the first step is to admit it.
452
00:31:00,225 --> 00:31:01,283
- Amen.
- Good, Bender.
453
00:31:01,392 --> 00:31:02,381
- That's right.
- Yes.
454
00:31:02,493 --> 00:31:04,825
There's a band of river trolls
living in the moat,
455
00:31:04,929 --> 00:31:07,591
and they may have no intention
of letting us out of this castle,
456
00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:11,465
unless we hand over
the Golden Scepter of Zanthor.
457
00:31:11,569 --> 00:31:13,628
Say what? Dude's crazy.
458
00:31:13,771 --> 00:31:17,366
- Bender, please, try to...
- I know not of this Bender.
459
00:31:17,475 --> 00:31:19,443
I am Titanius Inglesmith,
460
00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:21,136
fancy man of Cornwood.
461
00:31:21,246 --> 00:31:23,908
You are suffering a breakdown. Now stop.
462
00:31:24,015 --> 00:31:25,107
Hammer time.
463
00:31:28,319 --> 00:31:32,847
I'm in your seat.
I forgot we had changed places.
464
00:31:32,957 --> 00:31:34,447
Change places.
465
00:31:38,396 --> 00:31:40,125
Good news, everyone!
466
00:31:40,231 --> 00:31:43,098
- You perfected dog mascara?
- Far from it.
467
00:31:43,201 --> 00:31:45,533
If you ask me, they look like
a bunch of hookers.
468
00:31:45,637 --> 00:31:49,767
But what I have invented is a means
of locating the missing crystal.
469
00:31:51,142 --> 00:31:55,442
When I push this button, the crystal
will emit a high-frequency stink.
470
00:31:55,546 --> 00:31:56,672
Hurray!
471
00:31:57,615 --> 00:32:01,176
There. Now, with any luck
I'll detect it with my smelling aid.
472
00:32:02,954 --> 00:32:08,756
I just pray to all powerful Atheismo
that we find it before Mom does.
473
00:32:09,193 --> 00:32:11,991
- Do you smell the crystal, Professor?
- No, damn it!
474
00:32:12,096 --> 00:32:15,463
Just the alluring scent of Obsession
for spaniels.
475
00:32:22,206 --> 00:32:26,302
- Dude. Who whipped an egger?
- He who smelled it, dealt it.
476
00:32:26,411 --> 00:32:29,073
Yeah? Well, he who denied it, supplied it.
477
00:32:29,180 --> 00:32:32,445
Well, he who articulated it, particulated it.
478
00:32:32,550 --> 00:32:34,950
Well, he who refuted it, tooted it.
479
00:32:36,587 --> 00:32:37,884
Stalemate.
480
00:32:40,725 --> 00:32:43,819
Jesus craps. The anti-backwards crystal.
481
00:32:43,928 --> 00:32:44,895
Ow!
482
00:32:45,596 --> 00:32:48,531
- Sorry?
- Relax, it's not your fault.
483
00:32:48,633 --> 00:32:50,601
I can't believe it still exists.
484
00:32:50,702 --> 00:32:52,829
Google the hell out of that skanker.
485
00:32:57,241 --> 00:32:59,300
Planet-sucking-Express?
486
00:32:59,410 --> 00:33:02,208
Of course.
How could I have been so dumb?
487
00:33:03,381 --> 00:33:04,575
With that crystal,
488
00:33:04,682 --> 00:33:08,174
Farnsworth could completely destroy
my dark matter empire.
489
00:33:08,286 --> 00:33:12,655
I underestimated that sagging
old bag of bones and gonads.
490
00:33:12,757 --> 00:33:15,317
- Is that man bad?
- Very bad, Igner.
491
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,927
And that's why I need you three to go
steal the anti-crystal away from him.
492
00:33:19,030 --> 00:33:22,727
But be careful.
You'll need all your stoogely cunning.
493
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,203
- Exterminators.
- Oh, great.
494
00:33:32,310 --> 00:33:35,006
What do we got?
Wall gophers? Toilet snails?
495
00:33:35,113 --> 00:33:38,048
No, I'm afraid you've got owls.
Over there, see?
496
00:33:39,817 --> 00:33:40,806
Ow!
497
00:33:40,918 --> 00:33:42,613
Dump the bag, you nitwit.
498
00:33:43,454 --> 00:33:45,422
- Hey, watch it.
- Quiet, you.
499
00:33:45,523 --> 00:33:46,490
Ow!
500
00:33:47,358 --> 00:33:49,826
I was looking over there for a long time
but I didn't see any...
501
00:33:49,927 --> 00:33:53,124
Oh, there they are. Gross.
502
00:33:53,231 --> 00:33:56,394
We've got to act fast.
Larry, get out the geigersniffer.
503
00:33:56,501 --> 00:33:59,334
I don't know, Walt.
You're just gonna hit me with it.
504
00:33:59,437 --> 00:34:01,564
No. I'm going to hit you with this.
505
00:34:06,577 --> 00:34:10,104
- Those three exterminators are hilarious.
- Really?
506
00:34:10,214 --> 00:34:12,205
- I don't think so.
- Me, neither.
507
00:34:12,316 --> 00:34:14,580
Now, Sex and the City, that's funny.
508
00:34:15,553 --> 00:34:19,819
After wandering aimlessly
in the swamp, you suddenly...
509
00:34:19,924 --> 00:34:22,119
Wander aimlessly in the swamp.
510
00:34:27,131 --> 00:34:28,860
There it is.
511
00:34:30,034 --> 00:34:33,526
Excuse you.
As you apparently didn't notice,
512
00:34:33,638 --> 00:34:36,698
we're trying to traverse
the Quagmire of Slogdonia.
513
00:34:36,808 --> 00:34:40,107
I'm sorry, little boy.
You see, we're owl exterminators.
514
00:34:40,211 --> 00:34:41,576
We are owl...
515
00:34:41,679 --> 00:34:43,078
Ow!
516
00:34:43,347 --> 00:34:46,578
And what we have here is an owl egg
517
00:34:46,684 --> 00:34:49,778
that's about to hatch into an owl larva.
518
00:34:49,887 --> 00:34:51,946
So, if you don't mind,
we'll just take this and...
519
00:34:52,056 --> 00:34:54,251
What are you, stupid?
520
00:34:54,358 --> 00:34:58,624
That's a dodecahedral crystal I found
hidden in the downstairs walrus tank.
521
00:34:58,729 --> 00:35:01,459
And I wrote numbers on it
so we could use it as a D12.
522
00:35:01,566 --> 00:35:03,193
'Cause I have the best handwriting.
523
00:35:03,301 --> 00:35:04,666
- Do not.
- Do too.
524
00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:06,134
- Do not.
- Do too.
525
00:35:07,338 --> 00:35:09,169
You win this round.
526
00:35:09,273 --> 00:35:10,797
What's going on here?
527
00:35:10,908 --> 00:35:13,206
We're owl exterminators.
528
00:35:14,245 --> 00:35:17,772
Then you won't have any problem
exterminating this owl.
529
00:35:28,426 --> 00:35:29,552
Please!
530
00:35:35,233 --> 00:35:37,224
My anti-backwards crystal.
531
00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:40,293
So it's you three.
532
00:35:40,404 --> 00:35:44,534
I should have known Mom would send
her brainless brood to do her dirty work.
533
00:35:45,376 --> 00:35:48,174
- Walt, the leader among imbeciles.
- Hey!
534
00:35:48,279 --> 00:35:50,076
They resent that.
535
00:35:50,181 --> 00:35:53,014
Larry, the sniveling middle child.
536
00:35:53,117 --> 00:35:54,516
Sorry. Thank you.
537
00:35:55,653 --> 00:36:00,249
And you, Igner. The evil I could tolerate,
but the stupidity...
538
00:36:02,059 --> 00:36:05,551
- We're owl exterminators.
- Good God.
539
00:36:05,663 --> 00:36:08,632
Just knowing we're in the same genus
makes me embarrassed
540
00:36:08,733 --> 00:36:10,564
to call myself homo.
541
00:36:12,069 --> 00:36:15,903
Now, get out and tell Mom
thanks for the crystal.
542
00:36:23,915 --> 00:36:25,507
Thanks for the crystal.
543
00:36:33,591 --> 00:36:35,024
There. The repairs are complete.
544
00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:37,252
Let's go, already.
545
00:36:37,428 --> 00:36:41,091
We've got to infiltrate
Mom's dark matter mine, now.
546
00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:42,996
How do you start this thing?
547
00:36:44,802 --> 00:36:47,771
Good lord, woman.
Can you move any slower?
548
00:36:48,406 --> 00:36:51,102
Rake up some dark matter
and top off the tank.
549
00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:54,406
Well, there isn't any dark matter.
Nibbler hasn't pooped at all.
550
00:36:54,512 --> 00:36:57,276
And he ate a whole family
of koalas last night.
551
00:36:57,381 --> 00:37:00,475
Nibbler! Nibbler!
552
00:37:00,585 --> 00:37:04,783
I'm not interested in the whereabouts
of your cutesy-fruitsy space rat.
553
00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:07,357
The only thing that matters right now
is this crystal.
554
00:37:07,458 --> 00:37:08,425
Ow!
555
00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:10,686
And be careful with that crystal.
556
00:37:22,707 --> 00:37:24,140
Death to ogres!
557
00:37:25,409 --> 00:37:28,435
Even relaxation therapy has failed.
558
00:37:30,815 --> 00:37:32,874
Diagnosis, insanity.
559
00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:35,817
Nurse, schedule a robotomy for Bender.
560
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,480
Yes, Doctor.
I'll get the tools from the shed.
561
00:37:38,589 --> 00:37:42,889
It's a very painful procedure.
So until then, just try to relax.
562
00:38:07,318 --> 00:38:10,549
- What are you laughing at?
- Your laugh.
563
00:38:10,655 --> 00:38:13,988
- It's just so infectious.
- So's herpes. Now, shut up!
564
00:38:14,091 --> 00:38:16,423
You and Walt,
lead the killbots to the surface
565
00:38:16,527 --> 00:38:18,825
and blow Farnsworth out of the sky.
566
00:38:18,929 --> 00:38:19,987
What about Igner?
567
00:38:20,097 --> 00:38:21,257
That hairless ape?
568
00:38:21,365 --> 00:38:26,234
I swear. When he came out, I flipped a coin
whether to keep him or the after-birth.
569
00:38:26,337 --> 00:38:29,397
Yes, Mother.
You told that story at his graduation.
570
00:38:29,507 --> 00:38:32,032
I'm afraid he can't be trusted
on this mission.
571
00:38:32,143 --> 00:38:36,546
You see, there is a terrible secret
about Igner I've never told anyone.
572
00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:38,046
And here it is.
573
00:38:59,804 --> 00:39:02,637
- Continue returning fire.
- What?
574
00:39:04,241 --> 00:39:07,472
- What did they say?
- I don't know. I can't hear a thing.
575
00:39:07,578 --> 00:39:09,671
Hey, what's everybody talking about?
576
00:39:25,930 --> 00:39:27,727
Mayday! Mayday!
577
00:39:28,299 --> 00:39:31,666
Oh, God. I cannot believe
this is the best plan I could come up with.
578
00:39:42,646 --> 00:39:44,637
We weren't actually in the ship.
579
00:39:48,786 --> 00:39:51,914
Okay, team, these red-hot,
razor-sharp fans
580
00:39:52,022 --> 00:39:54,183
are the only safe way into the mine.
581
00:39:54,892 --> 00:39:55,984
Ladies first.
582
00:40:02,366 --> 00:40:05,426
Whew! That blade missed me
by the skin of my pants.
583
00:40:15,479 --> 00:40:17,913
- Maintenance shaft 7 serving...
- Shut your mouth.
584
00:40:18,015 --> 00:40:20,074
I'm just talking about the shaft.
585
00:40:23,587 --> 00:40:27,455
- Jeez. Doesn't that shock collar hurt?
- Actually, feels kind of good.
586
00:40:27,558 --> 00:40:31,460
I guess I'm starting to associate it
with the pleasure of beating people up.
587
00:40:49,980 --> 00:40:51,379
We shot them down, Mother.
588
00:40:51,482 --> 00:40:54,076
The intruders never even got to Sector 1.
589
00:40:54,185 --> 00:40:57,586
Intruders in Sector 15.
Intruders in Sector 15.
590
00:40:57,688 --> 00:40:58,677
Ugh...
591
00:40:58,789 --> 00:41:02,156
Sometimes I don't know why
I even bother to slap you.
592
00:41:04,829 --> 00:41:08,265
- All killbots to Sector 15.
- What did she say?
593
00:41:08,365 --> 00:41:09,764
What did you say?
594
00:41:19,910 --> 00:41:22,674
There are so many killbots behind us,
I can't count them all.
595
00:41:22,780 --> 00:41:24,475
Three, I think.
596
00:41:27,852 --> 00:41:29,080
We're trapped.
597
00:41:29,653 --> 00:41:31,678
The main pit must be in here.
598
00:41:31,789 --> 00:41:34,758
I'm detecting vast quantities
of dark matter.
599
00:41:34,859 --> 00:41:37,419
Step aside turkey-neck.
I think I know the code.
600
00:41:42,132 --> 00:41:44,692
We're in. We're in the heart of the mine.
601
00:41:44,802 --> 00:41:47,396
The very source of all Mom's wealth and...
602
00:42:03,521 --> 00:42:06,149
My God! This isn't a crap mine.
603
00:42:06,257 --> 00:42:07,588
It's a crap farm.
604
00:42:10,361 --> 00:42:12,158
Is there really so much of a distinction?
605
00:42:12,263 --> 00:42:14,322
- I mean...
- Leela, it's me, Nibbler.
606
00:42:15,566 --> 00:42:19,434
Oh, my God, you look horrible, Nibbler.
I think I'm going to vomit.
607
00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:20,799
Nibbler is over there.
608
00:42:20,905 --> 00:42:24,136
Oh, sorry. Nibbler.
609
00:42:24,241 --> 00:42:26,937
Oh, my poor little snuzzy-wuzzams.
610
00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:28,909
Are they treating you okay?
611
00:42:29,013 --> 00:42:32,505
No, they are force-feeding us
so we poop more dark matter.
612
00:42:32,616 --> 00:42:33,583
It's horrible.
613
00:42:41,659 --> 00:42:42,717
Those are good.
614
00:42:42,826 --> 00:42:44,088
You've got to help us.
615
00:42:44,194 --> 00:42:46,253
- Help us!
- Help us, for God's sakes!
616
00:42:51,468 --> 00:42:55,871
- Nibbler made a bo-bo.
- Yes, but not on my terms.
617
00:42:55,973 --> 00:43:00,307
I will not be treated like...
Hey, wait, aren't you amazed I can speak?
618
00:43:00,411 --> 00:43:04,211
Well, actually, no. You forgot to blank
our memories after you spoke last time.
619
00:43:04,315 --> 00:43:06,476
You mean you've known I was sentient?
620
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:10,179
Then why did you let me eat Friskies
and make bo-bo in a litter box?
621
00:43:10,287 --> 00:43:13,256
- Well, you're cuter that way.
- Cute as a baby's buttocks.
622
00:43:13,357 --> 00:43:16,485
So what happened?
How did Mom capture all you Nibblonians?
623
00:43:17,828 --> 00:43:24,290
It all began 36 years ago... Now!
On the planet Virgon 6...
624
00:43:25,536 --> 00:43:27,231
It was a veritable Eden,
625
00:43:27,338 --> 00:43:30,136
brimming with unique
and irreplaceable species.
626
00:43:31,508 --> 00:43:35,000
Most of which were delicious.
627
00:43:35,112 --> 00:43:38,912
I was supreme fuzzler
of a Nibblonian scientific outpost.
628
00:43:39,016 --> 00:43:42,679
It was paradise, until they came.
629
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,790
One of your DOOP ships struck dark matter,
630
00:43:51,895 --> 00:43:54,523
little realizing it was not a natural deposit,
631
00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:57,795
but rather centuries
of Nibblonian fecal material.
632
00:43:57,901 --> 00:44:01,860
Wow, the big fecal enchilada.
Anyone else hungry?
633
00:44:05,576 --> 00:44:08,067
The DOOP contracted
a ruthless businesswoman
634
00:44:08,178 --> 00:44:10,305
to spearhead the mining operation.
635
00:44:10,581 --> 00:44:13,607
- Let me guess. Mom?
- The very same.
636
00:44:13,717 --> 00:44:14,843
Can I also guess Mom?
637
00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:19,748
To reduce cost
she started a new enterprise,
638
00:44:19,857 --> 00:44:21,347
Mom 's Friendly Robots,
639
00:44:21,458 --> 00:44:23,483
to build robot slaves.
640
00:44:23,594 --> 00:44:26,927
Remember this was back in the days
before Robot Lincoln.
641
00:44:27,031 --> 00:44:29,522
- Faster, faster!
- I'm going exactly
642
00:44:29,633 --> 00:44:32,659
- as fast as you built me to go.
- Wise guy, huh?
643
00:44:35,506 --> 00:44:36,473
Ow!
644
00:44:36,740 --> 00:44:40,267
Eventually, the planet was mined
down to a hollow shell
645
00:44:40,377 --> 00:44:42,971
and my people were forced to evacuate.
646
00:44:45,916 --> 00:44:49,818
Alas, I had eaten a day-old
swinosaur for lunch.
647
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:54,948
And while doing some evacuating
of my own, I was left behind.
648
00:44:56,527 --> 00:44:58,654
So, that's where it comes from.
649
00:44:58,762 --> 00:45:02,459
We may have a whole new source
of dark matter on our hands.
650
00:45:02,633 --> 00:45:04,032
Ew!
651
00:45:08,238 --> 00:45:11,002
As it turned out, I was the lucky one.
652
00:45:11,108 --> 00:45:14,703
Unbeknownst to me, Mom captured
my colleagues and enslaved them here
653
00:45:14,812 --> 00:45:17,337
in this crap farm.
654
00:45:20,451 --> 00:45:25,320
There's nothing to do but eat and crap,
eat and crap. It's like visiting my parents.
655
00:45:25,422 --> 00:45:30,325
As for me, I emerged
from behind the bush of many uses
656
00:45:30,427 --> 00:45:34,887
to find I had been left behind.
I was doomed, doomed.
657
00:45:34,998 --> 00:45:36,090
Hello, there.
658
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:39,692
Startled, my cuteness reflex kicked in.
659
00:45:43,407 --> 00:45:44,840
I'll call him Nibbler.
660
00:45:44,942 --> 00:45:47,672
A silly name
for a high-ranking fuzzler.
661
00:45:47,778 --> 00:45:50,975
But, hey, I was glad to be rescued.
662
00:45:55,185 --> 00:45:58,018
But then, how did you end up here
with the others?
663
00:45:58,122 --> 00:46:01,216
I was kidnapped yesterday
by Mom's vile sons,
664
00:46:01,325 --> 00:46:03,589
in their moronic disguises.
665
00:46:03,694 --> 00:46:06,026
I was an owl exterminator.
666
00:46:08,465 --> 00:46:13,198
- Do you have the crysal?
- It's pronounced "crystal," you lump.
667
00:46:14,838 --> 00:46:16,328
Go, run fast.
668
00:46:26,316 --> 00:46:27,613
Did you see anyone?
669
00:46:27,718 --> 00:46:30,414
- Me?
- Yes, you. You're the only one here.
670
00:46:30,521 --> 00:46:34,184
If I'm the only one here,
then how could I see anyone?
671
00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:36,259
- He's got a point, Walt.
- So does my knee.
672
00:46:42,399 --> 00:46:45,197
This wouldn't be so bad
if it weren't for the chickens.
673
00:46:50,808 --> 00:46:53,834
Don't worry, those clamps
are for my own protection.
674
00:46:53,944 --> 00:46:56,174
Do you know where you are, Bender?
675
00:46:56,280 --> 00:47:00,376
Sure do, I'm in the magical land of
Cornwood, frolicking with wenches.
676
00:47:00,484 --> 00:47:03,783
Close, you're in the loony bin
for a robotomy.
677
00:47:03,887 --> 00:47:08,051
I will begin by drilling through the eye
to access the frontal processor.
678
00:47:10,093 --> 00:47:14,496
- Can't you just use the access panel?
- Either way is fine.
679
00:47:14,598 --> 00:47:16,793
Does anyone else smell
burning dragon beak?
680
00:47:29,213 --> 00:47:33,980
Wherever you are, Farnsworth,
my boys will find you.
681
00:47:34,084 --> 00:47:35,244
They've eluded us, Mother.
682
00:47:35,352 --> 00:47:37,513
But rest assured,
we've already slapped each other,
683
00:47:37,621 --> 00:47:39,589
so there's no need to...
684
00:47:39,690 --> 00:47:42,921
You'll thank me some day
when you are slapping your own kids.
685
00:47:43,026 --> 00:47:45,017
I know Farnsworth's game.
686
00:47:45,128 --> 00:47:48,063
He is going to try to poke
his clammy old crystal
687
00:47:48,165 --> 00:47:51,532
- at my hot fiery crystal.
- Mom!
688
00:47:51,835 --> 00:47:54,929
If the crystals get within six inches
of each other... Wham!
689
00:47:55,038 --> 00:47:57,598
All my dark matter will be worthless.
690
00:48:07,618 --> 00:48:08,949
Get them!
691
00:48:12,823 --> 00:48:16,418
Keep going, Professor.
I'll take care of the ditz brothers.
692
00:48:21,798 --> 00:48:22,992
Ooh.
693
00:48:23,100 --> 00:48:26,069
- That feels good.
- Oh, for crying out...
694
00:48:31,975 --> 00:48:35,308
Oh, the freaking battery's dead.
Walt, where's the charger?
695
00:48:35,412 --> 00:48:37,812
In the hardware drawer, Mother.
696
00:48:40,717 --> 00:48:43,049
Damn tangled mess of wires.
697
00:48:43,153 --> 00:48:46,782
We're almost there.
The crystals are beginning to engorge.
698
00:49:04,975 --> 00:49:08,308
I can't quite reach.
699
00:49:08,946 --> 00:49:12,177
Fry, grab onto my easy-fit waistband.
700
00:49:16,286 --> 00:49:18,186
Just a few more inches.
701
00:49:18,288 --> 00:49:21,416
Come on, really wedgie it on in there.
702
00:49:26,430 --> 00:49:29,194
So, that's why they call me the Catman.
703
00:49:30,033 --> 00:49:32,058
Nobody move. I've found the charger.
704
00:49:33,337 --> 00:49:36,204
Hang on. I'm on it. Okay, there!
705
00:49:36,306 --> 00:49:37,933
Save us, Catman.
706
00:49:38,041 --> 00:49:41,135
It's over, Hubert.
Give me the anti-backwards crystal.
707
00:49:41,244 --> 00:49:42,438
Never!
708
00:49:50,654 --> 00:49:52,019
Oh, bravo.
709
00:49:52,122 --> 00:49:54,750
You're in a crap-harvesting factory, genius.
710
00:49:54,858 --> 00:49:56,985
Walt! Larry! Start harvesting.
711
00:49:58,295 --> 00:49:59,762
No!
712
00:50:04,434 --> 00:50:07,926
I will now delicately
jerk out your imagination,
713
00:50:08,038 --> 00:50:10,871
severing fantasy's grip
on your nerd-circuit.
714
00:50:14,077 --> 00:50:17,843
Cornwood!
715
00:50:20,050 --> 00:50:23,952
Illogical. Illogical. Computational overload.
716
00:50:24,054 --> 00:50:25,783
But, Doctor, I love you.
717
00:50:30,260 --> 00:50:31,591
Oh, what now?
718
00:50:47,444 --> 00:50:49,173
This is crazy. Ow!
719
00:50:49,713 --> 00:50:53,513
- What the... You okay, Leela?
- Yeah, I think so.
720
00:50:55,819 --> 00:50:58,049
Wait a second. Is there something
different about your hooves?
721
00:50:59,256 --> 00:51:02,054
Oh, Lord. I'm half-horse and half-naked.
722
00:51:02,159 --> 00:51:03,888
Where the hell are we, hell?
723
00:51:09,966 --> 00:51:12,958
- Bender?
- I know not of this Bender.
724
00:51:13,070 --> 00:51:18,474
I'm Titanius Inglesmith.
Welcome to Cornwood!
725
00:51:29,586 --> 00:51:32,282
Wretched peasants, put aside your cares
726
00:51:32,389 --> 00:51:36,655
and feast on the succulent flesh
of the roast munchkin!
727
00:51:39,329 --> 00:51:41,661
Care for a slice of scroto?
728
00:51:42,099 --> 00:51:45,193
- That's his name, right?
- 'Tis also that, sir.
729
00:51:45,302 --> 00:51:48,863
We're honored this eve
by a visit from my friends of old,
730
00:51:48,972 --> 00:51:51,099
Frydo and Legola.
731
00:51:51,208 --> 00:51:54,006
So let the dwarves do their gay dance
732
00:51:54,111 --> 00:51:57,342
and let the gnomes
play their sissy piccolos.
733
00:52:03,019 --> 00:52:05,146
Dance! Dance, you little freaks.
734
00:52:06,289 --> 00:52:07,483
Faster.
735
00:52:08,558 --> 00:52:09,923
Faster!
736
00:52:13,697 --> 00:52:16,063
- My ankle!
- To the kitchen with him!
737
00:52:16,766 --> 00:52:18,734
Wait! Wait! Wait! I do impressions.
738
00:52:18,835 --> 00:52:20,735
Behold! The swamp hag.
739
00:52:20,837 --> 00:52:23,829
Get out of my swamp, you kids!
740
00:52:23,940 --> 00:52:25,532
Don't let him get too crispy.
741
00:52:27,844 --> 00:52:31,211
- Lord Inglesmith.
- You have ridden hard, noble squire.
742
00:52:31,314 --> 00:52:33,976
May I offer you a horn of ale
and a shank of dwarf?
743
00:52:34,084 --> 00:52:36,917
'Tis dire news, sire. Dark riders approach.
744
00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:40,419
You shall be handsomely rewarded,
sir knight.
745
00:52:40,524 --> 00:52:42,219
We ride at once!
746
00:52:45,629 --> 00:52:46,994
Oops!
747
00:52:48,798 --> 00:52:51,665
Frydo! Saddle up that trusty steed.
748
00:52:59,943 --> 00:53:02,605
What's happening?
And why am I enjoying it so much?
749
00:53:05,048 --> 00:53:06,447
Foul beast-bags!
750
00:53:06,550 --> 00:53:08,279
Meet thy doom!
751
00:53:13,690 --> 00:53:14,918
Follow me.
752
00:53:20,664 --> 00:53:24,361
- Damn thee, Ignus.
- Well, you said to follow you.
753
00:53:24,467 --> 00:53:26,332
Well, now I say follow this!
754
00:53:30,373 --> 00:53:33,740
- The die of power! He's rolling it.
- Oh, no!
755
00:53:35,879 --> 00:53:37,574
I'm back...
756
00:53:39,115 --> 00:53:40,514
Seven.
757
00:53:43,987 --> 00:53:45,955
"Banish foes"? Cool.
758
00:53:46,056 --> 00:53:47,921
No! No!
759
00:53:53,563 --> 00:53:56,623
I got to say, I had no idea
the die of power was so powerful.
760
00:53:56,733 --> 00:53:58,667
Did you have any idea of...
761
00:53:58,969 --> 00:54:02,234
Get out of my swamp, you kids!
762
00:54:05,709 --> 00:54:08,803
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but that was really exciting.
763
00:54:08,912 --> 00:54:10,573
I've never felt so alive.
764
00:54:12,849 --> 00:54:15,716
What else can we slay?
Is that a hobbit over there?
765
00:54:15,819 --> 00:54:18,014
No, that's a hobo and a rabbit.
766
00:54:18,121 --> 00:54:19,918
But they're making a hobbit.
767
00:54:21,524 --> 00:54:25,324
Thank God, an outhouse.
I can't hold it in much longer.
768
00:54:25,428 --> 00:54:27,521
And by it, I mean my entrails.
769
00:54:27,631 --> 00:54:29,599
Hush! This be no outhouse,
770
00:54:29,699 --> 00:54:32,600
but the lair of the great wizard Grayfarn.
771
00:54:34,704 --> 00:54:37,502
- Who is it?
- 'Tis I, Titanius.
772
00:54:37,607 --> 00:54:38,835
Just a moment.
773
00:54:40,844 --> 00:54:44,541
Methinks the wizard be casting
a powerful spell, indeed.
774
00:54:47,217 --> 00:54:48,912
Come in! Come in!
775
00:54:50,487 --> 00:54:51,613
Yes.
776
00:54:51,721 --> 00:54:54,884
'Tis a powerful object in both our worlds.
777
00:54:54,991 --> 00:54:57,391
If you failed to destroy it in yours,
778
00:54:57,494 --> 00:55:00,952
perhaps you were brought here
that you might have a second chance.
779
00:55:01,064 --> 00:55:04,522
- So, this land is real?
- Oh, dreadfully real.
780
00:55:04,634 --> 00:55:06,932
If you die here, you'll really be dead.
781
00:55:07,037 --> 00:55:10,632
But instead of science,
we believe in crazy hocus-pocus.
782
00:55:10,740 --> 00:55:13,334
- It's like Kansas.
- God help us.
783
00:55:14,811 --> 00:55:20,113
Cornwood's troubles began
hundreds or perhaps millions of years ago.
784
00:55:20,517 --> 00:55:23,816
Deep in the Geysers of Gygax,
Momon herself
785
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:28,380
injection-molded the dice of power
from the living plastic.
786
00:55:32,662 --> 00:55:34,095
Damn, these are hot.
787
00:55:35,999 --> 00:55:37,967
In our universe she's called Mom.
788
00:55:38,068 --> 00:55:41,060
In your universe,
are you taught not to interrupt?
789
00:55:41,171 --> 00:55:42,263
Evidently not.
790
00:55:42,372 --> 00:55:45,239
Anyway, Momon spawned
three rotten sons,
791
00:55:45,342 --> 00:55:47,936
whom you've already had
the displeasure of meeting.
792
00:55:48,278 --> 00:55:53,306
Waltazar, Larius, and the dumbest of all,
the halfwit Ignus,
793
00:55:53,616 --> 00:55:57,245
bastard son of Momon
and the brainless He-demon.
794
00:55:57,921 --> 00:56:00,754
Curse you, Momon, queen of all that is evil
795
00:56:00,857 --> 00:56:02,791
and not very good in bed.
796
00:56:02,892 --> 00:56:05,588
And I'm not just saying that
because she dumped me.
797
00:56:08,031 --> 00:56:11,262
Yes, I was once her consort.
798
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:16,271
I was blinded by love,
and later, scorpion venom.
799
00:56:16,373 --> 00:56:17,340
I'm blind!
800
00:56:17,707 --> 00:56:20,232
But Momon has one weakness.
801
00:56:20,343 --> 00:56:22,903
She put too much of her power into this.
802
00:56:23,012 --> 00:56:25,708
The generalissimo of dice.
803
00:56:25,815 --> 00:56:28,750
Yeah? Well, bite my shiny metal face.
804
00:56:32,589 --> 00:56:34,557
Don't be foolish, Titanius.
805
00:56:34,657 --> 00:56:37,285
If you had paid attention
in freshman alchemy,
806
00:56:37,394 --> 00:56:39,555
instead of frequenting the bawdyhouse,
807
00:56:39,662 --> 00:56:42,358
you'd know
there's only one way to destroy it.
808
00:56:42,599 --> 00:56:45,898
In the boiling plastic
from which it was molded.
809
00:56:46,002 --> 00:56:48,732
Like that machine
that makes wax lions at the zoo.
810
00:56:48,838 --> 00:56:49,805
Quiet, you.
811
00:56:49,906 --> 00:56:53,398
We must infiltrate the Geysers of Gygax,
812
00:56:53,510 --> 00:56:56,411
the impenetrable stronghold of Momon.
813
00:56:58,648 --> 00:57:01,378
Impossible. Impossible, I say.
814
00:57:01,484 --> 00:57:05,284
No, Titanius.
For we maintain one advantage,
815
00:57:05,388 --> 00:57:08,118
the element of surprise.
816
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:33,005
Verily, our quest has begun.
817
00:57:33,116 --> 00:57:34,174
Stop right there.
818
00:57:35,551 --> 00:57:36,677
Hermes?
819
00:57:38,087 --> 00:57:42,046
- He's a centaur like me.
- You wish.
820
00:57:42,158 --> 00:57:46,288
I am Hermaphrodite,
most beautiful of centaurs.
821
00:57:46,395 --> 00:57:49,364
Gaze upon me and weep at my loveliness.
822
00:57:50,032 --> 00:57:51,863
Very well.
823
00:57:51,968 --> 00:57:53,629
Loveliest of centaurs,
824
00:57:53,736 --> 00:57:56,466
we seek to end Momon's reign of evil.
825
00:57:56,572 --> 00:57:59,040
Have you stout fighters at your command?
826
00:57:59,142 --> 00:58:01,610
One thousand archers of truest aim.
827
00:58:02,678 --> 00:58:03,645
Fire.
828
00:58:05,648 --> 00:58:07,912
Hey guys, I forgot I had this pumpkin.
829
00:58:10,887 --> 00:58:13,355
I knew it. My people are mighty warriors.
830
00:58:13,456 --> 00:58:17,722
Our enemies will be like Swiss cheese
with blood coming out of the holes.
831
00:58:19,462 --> 00:58:22,954
- We centaurs are creatures of peace.
- Oh, Lord.
832
00:58:23,065 --> 00:58:26,728
Violence is never justified.
We shall not join your quest.
833
00:58:26,836 --> 00:58:29,600
And furthermore,
if mayhem be your intent,
834
00:58:29,705 --> 00:58:31,639
you may not cross our lands.
835
00:58:31,741 --> 00:58:33,265
- Or what?
- Or...
836
00:58:33,910 --> 00:58:36,674
Uh... Mmm?
837
00:58:39,649 --> 00:58:41,116
You may pass.
838
00:58:51,994 --> 00:58:53,256
We're not there, we're here.
839
00:58:53,362 --> 00:58:54,624
- No, this way.
- I mean, here.
840
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:13,114
Thank you, kindly, Treedledum.
841
00:59:13,216 --> 00:59:17,414
Okey-doke. Anything else I can do?
842
00:59:21,724 --> 00:59:24,557
You know who I'm gonna miss?
That tree guy.
843
00:59:31,133 --> 00:59:35,832
Bad news, fancy men.
Momon's guards stand watch at the pass.
844
00:59:35,938 --> 00:59:39,066
'Tis as if she somehow anticipated us.
845
00:59:39,175 --> 00:59:41,803
And so our quest comes to an end.
846
00:59:41,911 --> 00:59:44,379
I only regret not giving up sooner.
847
00:59:45,414 --> 00:59:49,214
Fret not, Titanius.
For we still have one hope,
848
00:59:49,318 --> 00:59:51,183
the Cave of Hopelessness.
849
00:59:53,055 --> 00:59:54,682
Let me know how that turns out.
850
00:59:59,195 --> 01:00:02,892
Halt. Are you on the list?
I'm not seeing you on the list.
851
01:00:02,999 --> 01:00:06,162
- I'll split this doofus in half.
- Wait. I got it.
852
01:00:06,535 --> 01:00:10,266
Yeah. My cousin's in the band.
The band of merry men.
853
01:00:10,940 --> 01:00:15,639
Please, we were already in there.
I just need to go back for my coat.
854
01:00:24,420 --> 01:00:29,084
I am Gynecaladriel,
queen of the water nymphos.
855
01:00:29,191 --> 01:00:31,659
All right. I'll split this doofus in half.
856
01:00:31,761 --> 01:00:36,130
Stand aside, and I will use my powers
to overwhelm the guard.
857
01:00:42,938 --> 01:00:46,066
- Behold, the deed is done.
- Ho!
858
01:00:52,348 --> 01:00:56,512
Mr. Wizard, why is this place
called the Cave of Hopelessness?
859
01:00:56,619 --> 01:00:58,052
Oh, fear not, lad.
860
01:00:58,154 --> 01:01:02,250
'Tis named for its discoverer,
Reginald Hopelessness...
861
01:01:02,391 --> 01:01:03,358
Whew!
862
01:01:03,459 --> 01:01:07,259
...the first man to be eaten alive
by the Tunneling Horror.
863
01:01:10,433 --> 01:01:12,458
What's that? The Tunneling Horror?
864
01:01:12,568 --> 01:01:14,695
No, it's morks.
865
01:01:14,804 --> 01:01:16,795
- Mork. Hey, listen.
- Nanu, nanu. Shazbot.
866
01:01:16,906 --> 01:01:20,774
- Oh, God, no. They're so aggravating.
- Oh, fantastic.
867
01:01:21,444 --> 01:01:22,411
Nanu, nanu.
868
01:01:22,745 --> 01:01:24,372
Reality, what a concept.
869
01:01:28,617 --> 01:01:29,879
Fantastic.
870
01:01:34,790 --> 01:01:35,779
Mindy, Mindy, Mindy.
871
01:01:35,891 --> 01:01:37,859
- Shut up! Shut up!
- Oh, fantastic.
872
01:01:37,993 --> 01:01:39,255
Oh, fantastic. Oh, wonderful.
873
01:01:39,362 --> 01:01:42,058
Maybe it'll go away
if we just don't laugh at it.
874
01:01:42,164 --> 01:01:43,859
It doesn't.
875
01:01:44,633 --> 01:01:45,600
Nanu, nanu.
876
01:01:48,804 --> 01:01:49,771
Shazbot.
877
01:01:51,574 --> 01:01:55,533
Well, at least we didn't have to face
the tunneling whatchimacallit.
878
01:01:55,644 --> 01:01:56,611
Uh-oh.
879
01:01:58,414 --> 01:02:01,474
Enough already with the banging
and the swashbuckling.
880
01:02:07,156 --> 01:02:10,057
Oh, I'm gonna enjoy killing you.
881
01:02:11,193 --> 01:02:13,889
Watch where you're shooting that thing.
882
01:02:14,597 --> 01:02:17,657
Again?
What, am I talking to myself over here?
883
01:02:17,767 --> 01:02:19,564
Mutilate!
884
01:02:21,137 --> 01:02:24,538
Okay. Now, I'm getting a little mad even.
885
01:02:33,282 --> 01:02:36,080
I'll kill you and eat your heart,
you abomination.
886
01:02:42,525 --> 01:02:43,992
Don't make me laugh.
887
01:02:44,093 --> 01:02:47,324
The very idea that removing only
one of my two hearts could...
888
01:02:47,430 --> 01:02:49,557
Hey, what are you doing down there?
889
01:02:50,933 --> 01:02:52,423
Now, I'm dead.
890
01:02:54,770 --> 01:02:57,136
Leela, it's over. You killed him enough.
891
01:02:57,239 --> 01:03:00,174
I'm not taking any chances
with the Tunneling Horror.
892
01:03:00,776 --> 01:03:05,179
What? I'm not the Tunneling Horror.
I hate that guy.
893
01:03:05,281 --> 01:03:08,512
Always with the tunneling.
Anyway, I'm dead.
894
01:03:09,151 --> 01:03:11,676
So, you're just an innocent monster.
895
01:03:11,787 --> 01:03:13,880
Oh, God. What have I done?
896
01:03:15,925 --> 01:03:17,893
Oh! There he goes again.
897
01:03:24,900 --> 01:03:26,390
The Tunneling Horror!
898
01:03:29,038 --> 01:03:30,733
Grayfarn, what do we do?
899
01:03:32,541 --> 01:03:33,803
Do about what?
900
01:03:38,848 --> 01:03:41,715
Why aren't you killing it, Leela?
You love killing.
901
01:03:41,817 --> 01:03:44,115
No, no more killing.
902
01:03:44,220 --> 01:03:48,452
Oh! So, suddenly, Miss Goody Four-shoes
over here doesn't kill anymore.
903
01:03:48,557 --> 01:03:50,354
She killed me not five minutes ago.
904
01:03:50,459 --> 01:03:52,586
- What am I? Chopped liver?
- Shut up.
905
01:03:53,429 --> 01:03:56,455
- Stop chopping my liver.
- You're on your own.
906
01:03:56,565 --> 01:03:59,363
I refuse to hurt another living thing.
907
01:04:05,674 --> 01:04:09,166
All right.
I may be weak and I may be small,
908
01:04:09,278 --> 01:04:12,475
but I don't see
how I can possibly destroy that monster.
909
01:04:12,581 --> 01:04:14,742
Guess I'll just
huck whatever's in my pockets at him.
910
01:04:14,850 --> 01:04:16,249
At least I can say I tried.
911
01:04:16,352 --> 01:04:17,785
Any time now.
912
01:04:22,892 --> 01:04:25,793
The die of power.
I forgot to remember to roll it.
913
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:33,358
Three.
914
01:04:35,838 --> 01:04:39,399
"Grow"? I don't see anything growing.
Everything is getting smaller.
915
01:04:42,912 --> 01:04:43,970
Ow.
916
01:04:44,079 --> 01:04:45,910
Wait a second. I'm big!
917
01:04:46,015 --> 01:04:49,348
In your face, everyone from middle school.
Especially, Jeremy.
918
01:05:02,798 --> 01:05:04,129
Wow, that was intense.
919
01:05:04,233 --> 01:05:07,225
- You guys got to try the die of power.
- I'll take a hit.
920
01:05:07,336 --> 01:05:09,566
Hands off the dodecalicious.
921
01:05:10,906 --> 01:05:14,637
Beware, Frydo. Don't be seduced.
Hang on a second.
922
01:05:17,012 --> 01:05:18,946
Resist the allure of the die.
923
01:05:19,048 --> 01:05:22,540
For to defeat Momon,
we must melt it in the super bombastic,
924
01:05:22,651 --> 01:05:25,245
bubbling plastic from whence it came.
925
01:05:29,058 --> 01:05:32,585
For to defeat Momon,
we must melt it in the super bombastic,
926
01:05:32,695 --> 01:05:35,289
bubbling plastic from whence it came.
927
01:05:35,631 --> 01:05:38,532
I send you to kill them
and they're not even maimed?
928
01:05:39,635 --> 01:05:43,435
That's what I get
for sending boys to do a mom's job.
929
01:05:43,539 --> 01:05:46,201
- Sorry, Mom.
- Sorry doesn't put heads on my table.
930
01:05:46,308 --> 01:05:48,401
Peaches.
931
01:05:48,510 --> 01:05:49,568
You're up.
932
01:05:55,050 --> 01:05:57,575
I like this part but I don't like...
933
01:06:04,393 --> 01:06:06,827
You are an able opponent, Hermaphrodite.
934
01:06:06,929 --> 01:06:08,954
But hear me well
when I posit that we must
935
01:06:09,064 --> 01:06:11,555
abhor violence in all its forms.
936
01:06:13,802 --> 01:06:16,032
I offer a dissenting opinion.
937
01:06:16,138 --> 01:06:17,127
Huh?
938
01:06:17,239 --> 01:06:20,504
For abhorring violence
is itself an act of violence
939
01:06:20,609 --> 01:06:23,077
and, therefore, to be abhorred.
940
01:06:28,117 --> 01:06:31,575
All bow before mighty Hermaphrodite.
941
01:06:32,287 --> 01:06:34,585
- Don't hurt me.
- I'm not here to hurt you.
942
01:06:34,690 --> 01:06:36,749
Or anything ever again.
943
01:06:36,859 --> 01:06:39,987
Please, teach me
the centaurs' ways of wimpiness.
944
01:06:40,095 --> 01:06:41,960
What do you offer in return?
945
01:06:45,834 --> 01:06:48,997
Chewy, Chewy, Chewy,
Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy
946
01:06:49,104 --> 01:06:53,040
Baby, always got a mouthful
of such sweet things to say
947
01:07:01,517 --> 01:07:02,882
Oh-ie little Chewy
948
01:07:02,985 --> 01:07:04,919
Don't know what you're doing to me
949
01:07:05,020 --> 01:07:08,046
But you're doing to me what I want you to
950
01:07:13,829 --> 01:07:17,959
Yes! We made it out
of that godforsaken cave.
951
01:07:18,067 --> 01:07:21,264
Now, what's the fastest way home?
Back through the cave?
952
01:07:21,370 --> 01:07:23,304
Ow! Ow!
953
01:07:29,344 --> 01:07:31,278
We're close now, my friends.
954
01:07:31,380 --> 01:07:36,249
So close, I can practically feel
the heat of the fiery molten plastic.
955
01:07:36,351 --> 01:07:39,286
- You're standing in the fire.
- Oh, my.
956
01:07:40,789 --> 01:07:44,953
Alas, our path is blocked
by Momon's army of evil.
957
01:07:45,060 --> 01:07:47,551
As well as her navy of moral dubiousness.
958
01:07:47,663 --> 01:07:48,789
Wait a second.
959
01:07:48,897 --> 01:07:51,457
Mayhaps we might
raise an army of our own.
960
01:07:51,567 --> 01:07:54,001
We're but
an hour's ride from Wipe Castle.
961
01:07:54,103 --> 01:07:56,128
Of course. Wipe Castle.
962
01:07:56,238 --> 01:08:00,436
And while we're there, we can get
some of those greasy little dwarf burgers.
963
01:08:00,609 --> 01:08:02,634
Ooh! I love those.
964
01:08:02,745 --> 01:08:05,179
You can eat like eight of them
without gaining any weight,
965
01:08:05,280 --> 01:08:06,770
because of all the diarrhea.
966
01:08:06,882 --> 01:08:09,214
Sleep deep, fair snoozles.
967
01:08:09,318 --> 01:08:12,412
At dawn, we ride for Wipe Castle.
968
01:08:15,958 --> 01:08:17,425
Quiet, Frydo.
969
01:08:24,600 --> 01:08:26,568
We've got them now.
970
01:08:26,668 --> 01:08:30,604
- Send all our forces against Wipe Castle.
- Right away, Mother.
971
01:08:30,706 --> 01:08:32,731
I'll just leave a small contingent behind
in case...
972
01:08:32,841 --> 01:08:36,902
- I said, everything. Peaches!
- I'm in the tub.
973
01:08:37,012 --> 01:08:40,038
Waltazar,
you and Larius shall lead the assault.
974
01:08:40,149 --> 01:08:41,275
What about Ignus?
975
01:08:41,383 --> 01:08:43,908
I'm afraid
he can't be trusted on this mission.
976
01:08:44,019 --> 01:08:46,817
You see, there is a terrible secret
about Ignus
977
01:08:46,922 --> 01:08:48,890
I've never told anyone.
978
01:08:48,991 --> 01:08:50,515
And here it is.
979
01:08:59,434 --> 01:09:02,130
It's a good day to be evil.
980
01:09:10,846 --> 01:09:13,337
Oh, put a towel on, for crap's sake.
981
01:09:21,490 --> 01:09:25,483
They all wants it.
They wants the dodecalicious.
982
01:09:25,594 --> 01:09:29,223
Tell you what,
you want to defend a magic artifact,
983
01:09:29,331 --> 01:09:31,356
and I mean, defend it good,
984
01:09:31,466 --> 01:09:34,264
then what you need is a top-quality knife.
985
01:09:34,369 --> 01:09:35,859
Me is listening.
986
01:09:36,004 --> 01:09:40,907
The Eviscerator is one of the finest,
if not the finest,
987
01:09:41,009 --> 01:09:43,443
tactical folder on the market today.
988
01:09:43,545 --> 01:09:49,006
We're talking 440 stainless,
quick release and... I don't believe this.
989
01:09:49,117 --> 01:09:51,984
Is this a stag horn handle at this price?
990
01:09:52,087 --> 01:09:55,056
- It is, yeah. It's a stag horn.
- At this price?
991
01:09:55,157 --> 01:09:57,387
You have got to be kidding me.
992
01:09:57,492 --> 01:10:00,188
That's got to be some kind of mistake,
right there.
993
01:10:00,295 --> 01:10:02,490
Now, you folks at home,
I know what you're thinking.
994
01:10:02,598 --> 01:10:05,089
You're thinking, that can't be stag horn.
995
01:10:05,200 --> 01:10:07,566
It's got to be the cheaper manticore horn.
996
01:10:07,669 --> 01:10:10,035
But, I've got the specs right here
and I'll tell you what,
997
01:10:10,138 --> 01:10:14,040
- this is the real deal.
- Unbelievable.
998
01:10:14,142 --> 01:10:16,269
It is unbelievable. That's exactly what it is.
999
01:10:16,378 --> 01:10:18,903
I mean, this is...
I have no words to describe this deal.
1000
01:10:19,014 --> 01:10:21,608
Honestly, have you ever seen
stag horn at this price?
1001
01:10:21,717 --> 01:10:24,481
No, no, I don't believe I ever have.
1002
01:10:24,586 --> 01:10:28,955
1101-1816 is the item number on this one.
1003
01:10:29,057 --> 01:10:31,321
You know what, we're gonna have to
put a clock on this deal, folks.
1004
01:10:31,426 --> 01:10:33,860
Two minutes. Can I get a clock
at two minutes up there?
1005
01:10:33,962 --> 01:10:34,929
Two minutes at most.
1006
01:10:35,063 --> 01:10:36,826
Honestly,
I'd be surprised if they last that long.
1007
01:10:36,932 --> 01:10:39,730
Oh, I'd be very surprised, shocked really.
1008
01:10:39,835 --> 01:10:41,962
Now, I know the lines are busy, people,
1009
01:10:42,070 --> 01:10:46,268
but keep dialing in if you want
a truly exceptional knife
1010
01:10:46,375 --> 01:10:48,969
to slice up your friends in their sleep.
1011
01:11:06,161 --> 01:11:08,493
He tried to murder me. He tried...
1012
01:11:08,597 --> 01:11:10,565
Oh, cool. Is that the stag horn?
1013
01:11:21,243 --> 01:11:25,873
Alas, Frydo's weakness
was no match for the die's strength.
1014
01:11:25,981 --> 01:11:29,382
We can only hope he forges on
alone to the Geysers.
1015
01:11:29,484 --> 01:11:31,452
I can hope my ass is made of ice-cream
1016
01:11:31,553 --> 01:11:33,817
but that don't make me
a hot fudge sundae.
1017
01:11:33,922 --> 01:11:37,085
As for us,
we must press on to Wipe Castle,
1018
01:11:37,192 --> 01:11:40,923
though the journey be long
and I fear I may not live to see it.
1019
01:11:41,029 --> 01:11:42,018
There it is!
1020
01:11:55,477 --> 01:11:57,138
They's following us's.
1021
01:11:57,245 --> 01:12:01,545
You know, you talk like that, it's gonna
cost you points at a job interview.
1022
01:12:01,650 --> 01:12:02,878
What does it wants?
1023
01:12:02,985 --> 01:12:05,783
First of all, I resent being called "it."
1024
01:12:05,887 --> 01:12:07,912
I prefer jerkhole or simply...
1025
01:12:09,091 --> 01:12:11,958
Second, I thought I could help you
destroy the die, maybe.
1026
01:12:12,160 --> 01:12:15,721
Yes, yes, please help me.
The die is tearing me apart.
1027
01:12:15,831 --> 01:12:17,458
No, it's not. We're having a nice time.
1028
01:12:17,566 --> 01:12:18,897
Shut up. You shut up.
1029
01:12:19,001 --> 01:12:20,730
S'all right? S'all right.
1030
01:12:20,836 --> 01:12:22,064
Help me!
1031
01:12:22,904 --> 01:12:26,032
Get out of my swamp, you kids!
1032
01:12:38,620 --> 01:12:40,918
Now, before your audience with the king,
1033
01:12:41,023 --> 01:12:43,548
there's a shocking fact
you best know about him.
1034
01:12:43,658 --> 01:12:46,126
Enough blabbety-blab! Open the doors.
1035
01:12:47,662 --> 01:12:49,152
What, ho?
1036
01:12:49,264 --> 01:12:52,495
We bring ill tidings, o fanciest of men.
1037
01:12:52,601 --> 01:12:54,933
Momon's reach nears the die of power.
1038
01:12:55,037 --> 01:12:58,700
And should she obtain it,
she will then have the entire basic set.
1039
01:12:58,807 --> 01:13:02,368
Rivers will run red with blood
and yellow with urine.
1040
01:13:02,477 --> 01:13:05,674
And a dog will be seen eating cat food
in the land.
1041
01:13:05,781 --> 01:13:09,877
Oh, great king,
your army is the last hope of Cornwood.
1042
01:13:09,985 --> 01:13:15,321
Let us join forces before the light of good
is extinguished forever.
1043
01:13:16,558 --> 01:13:17,991
You calling me crazy?
1044
01:13:18,093 --> 01:13:20,891
Just 'cause I've got a hotel in my foot
don't make me a...
1045
01:13:22,364 --> 01:13:25,026
- Pardon?
- Stop laughing at me, fried avocado.
1046
01:13:31,840 --> 01:13:35,799
Moving along then,
as the only nobleman present who's not...
1047
01:13:37,012 --> 01:13:40,914
I hereby place myself
in command of the royal army.
1048
01:13:41,016 --> 01:13:43,985
- What royal army would that be?
- What?
1049
01:13:44,086 --> 01:13:46,520
King went insane
and declared war on the scallops.
1050
01:13:46,621 --> 01:13:49,249
Tied his army to a boulder
and pushed them into the sea.
1051
01:13:49,357 --> 01:13:50,790
They never returned.
1052
01:13:50,892 --> 01:13:52,655
Scallops must've got them.
1053
01:13:52,761 --> 01:13:55,855
Oh, well. There'll be no epic battle today.
1054
01:13:59,835 --> 01:14:01,803
Methinks we be boned.
1055
01:14:07,776 --> 01:14:08,800
Where's their army?
1056
01:14:08,910 --> 01:14:11,606
Maybe they didn't hear the horn.
Blow it again.
1057
01:14:16,218 --> 01:14:18,652
Man, I'll show that cat how to blow.
1058
01:14:32,100 --> 01:14:37,504
All right. On three. One, two, three.
1059
01:14:39,541 --> 01:14:41,839
Oil in the murder hole.
1060
01:14:44,279 --> 01:14:47,339
What are they pouring
through the murder hole? Hot oil?
1061
01:14:47,449 --> 01:14:49,542
Yeah, I think it might be hot oil.
1062
01:14:51,520 --> 01:14:54,717
I knew it. I was right, Walt. It's hot oil.
1063
01:15:12,240 --> 01:15:13,434
Ow!
1064
01:15:15,877 --> 01:15:18,778
What the... You're not made of Tuesday.
1065
01:15:19,281 --> 01:15:21,181
My sanity. It's back.
1066
01:15:21,283 --> 01:15:24,013
At last, I can live the life I always...
1067
01:16:05,927 --> 01:16:07,087
Ahhh!
1068
01:16:12,300 --> 01:16:15,292
You're going onto sainthood.
Just call the chef.
1069
01:16:25,714 --> 01:16:28,239
- What does it mean?
- 'Tis as we feared.
1070
01:16:28,350 --> 01:16:32,411
- Evil will soon triumph over good.
- Your friends face certain death.
1071
01:16:32,520 --> 01:16:34,681
Followed by a disrespectful
marionette show
1072
01:16:34,789 --> 01:16:36,120
performed with their corpses.
1073
01:16:36,224 --> 01:16:40,558
- No! We've got to do something.
- Believe me, we will.
1074
01:16:40,662 --> 01:16:45,292
We have taken out a sternly worded ad
in tomorrow's Cornwood Times.
1075
01:16:47,736 --> 01:16:49,567
What a load of man-horse manure.
1076
01:16:49,671 --> 01:16:54,870
Well, Legola, if you have a better idea,
perhaps you'd like to challenge me to
1077
01:16:54,976 --> 01:16:56,204
debate.
1078
01:17:12,460 --> 01:17:14,724
I'm too exhausted. I can't go on.
1079
01:17:14,829 --> 01:17:17,593
I'm here for you, my friend.
I'll drag you onward.
1080
01:17:17,699 --> 01:17:21,191
Even to my last ounce of strength.
Grab onto my testicles.
1081
01:17:22,337 --> 01:17:25,602
You know,
I think maybe I can walk after all.
1082
01:17:29,711 --> 01:17:31,440
That's not Wipe Castle.
1083
01:17:31,546 --> 01:17:34,379
The dodeca-call is coming
from inside the house.
1084
01:17:39,287 --> 01:17:43,189
What are you waiting for, Frydo?
Throw it already in the boiling plastic.
1085
01:17:43,291 --> 01:17:46,283
- I would. But...
- Me's enjoys owning it.
1086
01:17:46,394 --> 01:17:48,919
Stop talking like that. It gives me anxiety.
1087
01:17:50,231 --> 01:17:51,493
Ow!
1088
01:17:53,301 --> 01:17:55,360
No!
1089
01:18:01,509 --> 01:18:02,601
Twelve.
1090
01:18:11,786 --> 01:18:16,348
So, it's all come down to this.
A dungeon and dragons.
1091
01:18:16,458 --> 01:18:18,016
I didn't see it coming.
1092
01:18:19,394 --> 01:18:20,486
Wait.
1093
01:18:29,738 --> 01:18:31,865
Eat the wizard,
eat the slut
1094
01:18:31,973 --> 01:18:34,168
Eat the robot's shiny butt
1095
01:18:34,809 --> 01:18:37,903
Well, at least
we'll be remembered in song.
1096
01:18:38,012 --> 01:18:40,742
Wait a second. I have an idea.
1097
01:18:40,849 --> 01:18:43,340
I surrender. Here, eat my friends.
1098
01:18:43,451 --> 01:18:46,648
Just give me one more second
of sweet, sweet life.
1099
01:18:52,460 --> 01:18:55,554
Well, that worked out
pretty good, eh, fellows?
1100
01:18:58,767 --> 01:19:01,531
Prepare to fire again, brave cowards.
1101
01:19:02,904 --> 01:19:04,804
I still say, I won the debate.
1102
01:19:05,607 --> 01:19:06,767
Fire.
1103
01:19:10,478 --> 01:19:11,445
Uh-oh.
1104
01:19:15,550 --> 01:19:16,642
Whew!
1105
01:19:17,852 --> 01:19:20,320
Legola, you saved us.
1106
01:19:20,922 --> 01:19:22,947
How can I ever repay you?
1107
01:19:30,498 --> 01:19:34,662
Frydo is fighting for his life.
The fate of Cornwood is in our hands.
1108
01:19:34,769 --> 01:19:36,737
Quickly, to the Geysers.
1109
01:19:37,605 --> 01:19:41,439
- Can it wait a couple of minutes?
- Yes. Yes, it can.
1110
01:19:56,925 --> 01:19:59,519
You are no match for my dragon style.
1111
01:20:02,831 --> 01:20:05,163
I guess you are
a match for my dragon style.
1112
01:20:05,266 --> 01:20:06,255
Tell me, Frydo,
1113
01:20:06,367 --> 01:20:10,565
are you aware that a dragon's
one weakness is its soft underbelly?
1114
01:20:10,672 --> 01:20:12,139
No. Why do you...
1115
01:20:14,742 --> 01:20:17,074
Get my friend out of your mouth.
1116
01:20:18,146 --> 01:20:19,943
It is all over, Momon.
1117
01:20:20,048 --> 01:20:22,039
We'll soon be down there defeating you.
1118
01:20:22,150 --> 01:20:26,246
And it's all thanks to
the existence of this fragile staircase.
1119
01:20:28,957 --> 01:20:29,924
Whoa!
1120
01:20:36,397 --> 01:20:38,524
Quick. Get on the magic bug.
1121
01:20:38,633 --> 01:20:42,501
It's not a magic bug, you dope.
It's a magic arachnid.
1122
01:20:42,604 --> 01:20:44,868
Can't you count the legs?
1123
01:20:44,973 --> 01:20:49,239
- No.
- Six, seven, eight. Not six, eight.
1124
01:20:49,344 --> 01:20:51,244
I'll kill you, you imbecile.
1125
01:21:03,691 --> 01:21:06,421
My underbelly. My one weakness.
1126
01:21:14,702 --> 01:21:19,469
I got it. Now I can throw it in
the hot thing over there and be the hero.
1127
01:21:19,574 --> 01:21:23,476
On the other hand,
infinite power might be nice.
1128
01:21:26,281 --> 01:21:28,749
Please, I'm trying to help you.
1129
01:21:28,850 --> 01:21:31,011
Then why are you hitting me with a stick?
1130
01:21:31,119 --> 01:21:33,713
How stupid are you
that you think that's helping?
1131
01:21:33,821 --> 01:21:36,722
Mommy never told you about my father.
1132
01:21:36,824 --> 01:21:40,851
- She said he was a foul He-demon.
- Exactly.
1133
01:21:40,962 --> 01:21:43,624
You are my father.
1134
01:21:45,133 --> 01:21:48,330
No. No, that's impossible.
1135
01:21:48,436 --> 01:21:51,405
Search your feelings.
You know it to be true.
1136
01:21:51,506 --> 01:21:54,236
No, no!
1137
01:21:54,342 --> 01:21:56,902
Yeah. I heard Mommy say so.
1138
01:22:02,216 --> 01:22:06,448
I have all the dice.
I am the dungeon master.
1139
01:22:06,554 --> 01:22:08,488
I know all and see...
1140
01:22:12,226 --> 01:22:13,818
Game over.
1141
01:22:32,814 --> 01:22:34,042
No! No!
1142
01:22:47,328 --> 01:22:48,556
What happened?
1143
01:22:51,232 --> 01:22:53,632
My God,
we're out of that weird, crazy world
1144
01:22:53,735 --> 01:22:55,896
and back in our regular crazy world.
1145
01:22:56,537 --> 01:22:58,903
Did we all just
have some kind of freaky dream
1146
01:22:59,007 --> 01:23:00,133
or was it ghosts?
1147
01:23:00,241 --> 01:23:02,869
Neither, Fry. It was science.
1148
01:23:02,977 --> 01:23:07,573
Bender's mighty imagination
amplified by a dark matter resonance
1149
01:23:07,682 --> 01:23:11,880
created an alternate reality
that very nearly blew our minds.
1150
01:23:11,986 --> 01:23:14,352
Exactly.
You can't make that kind of stuff up.
1151
01:23:14,455 --> 01:23:16,355
Quit trying to explain everything.
1152
01:23:16,457 --> 01:23:20,086
I defeated you in that world
and I'll defeat you in this one.
1153
01:23:20,194 --> 01:23:23,493
Boys, the crystal's still in his stomach.
1154
01:23:23,598 --> 01:23:25,122
Commencing intestinal flash flood.
1155
01:23:26,134 --> 01:23:30,628
Wait! Before my moment of shame, can I...
1156
01:23:31,839 --> 01:23:33,329
Yes, speak up.
1157
01:23:37,745 --> 01:23:40,441
Can I give my boy a hug?
1158
01:23:40,982 --> 01:23:45,180
All right. Fine. I've never done it.
I guess somebody should.
1159
01:23:46,154 --> 01:23:47,314
Daddy.
1160
01:23:48,923 --> 01:23:52,120
Like father, like son, eh, boy?
1161
01:23:54,028 --> 01:23:55,859
We both eated the crysals.
1162
01:23:58,266 --> 01:24:00,131
No. No!
1163
01:24:07,775 --> 01:24:10,573
My dark matter. It's worthless.
1164
01:24:10,678 --> 01:24:14,239
That's right, Mom. But fear not, fancy folk.
1165
01:24:14,348 --> 01:24:17,647
For I've just thunk up
an alternative energy source.
1166
01:24:17,752 --> 01:24:21,188
- Nibbler-power.
- Hurray. Wait. What?
1167
01:24:26,728 --> 01:24:28,696
Mush! Mush!
1168
01:24:28,796 --> 01:24:30,730
Whip harder, Professor.
1169
01:24:34,302 --> 01:24:38,466
Faster, faster. Slower.
1170
01:24:45,880 --> 01:24:47,677
One, two
One, two, three
1171
01:25:11,472 --> 01:25:12,996
All rise
Attention
1172
01:25:44,205 --> 01:25:45,968
All rise
Attention
1173
01:25:52,380 --> 01:25:53,813
All rise
Attention
1174
01:26:01,823 --> 01:26:03,381
Twenty-four
I'm gonna get twenty four
1175
01:26:03,491 --> 01:26:05,482
I'm gonna get 24th century
on his ass
1176
01:26:44,565 --> 01:26:45,532
Anyone wanna play
1177
01:26:45,633 --> 01:26:48,007
Dungeons & Dragons for
the next quadrillion years?
1178
01:27:18,068 --> 01:27:19,068
Subtitles by theDOOMgreat