[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah! Oh, look at her.
She's gorgeous.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, uh-huh.
She's big but fast.
[engine roaring]
- Uh, what are you watching?
- The Boat Network.
- There's a Boat Network? - Yeah.
322, right between the Allergy channel
and the Mexican dessert channel.
- Why are you watching a show about boats?
- Because all week long, they're having
this big win-a-boat contest.
They're asking a bunch of boat trivia questions,
and whoever texts in the most correct answers wins the boat.
- Ah, so that's why you have your big book of boats out.
- No, I was just pressing some flowers.
- Aw, pretty.
- [laughs]
- What? - Come here.
Check out this video these guys sent to iCarly.
- Now before beginning a surgical procedure,
I first put on my blindfold.
- Blindfold? But how will you see?
[electricity sparking]
- Who are these guys?
- Fleck and Dave.
- So why did they send us that video?
- Let's read the email.
- In 1997, famous boat designer
Joe Catania built what?
- The world's largest dinghy!
- Okay, they say...
"Dear Carly and Sam..." and Freddie.
- Ooh, they mentioned you.
- No, I added me.
- Just read.
- "We love "iCarly," so please,
"please, please play our surgery video on your show.
And to show you how bad we want this, click here."
- Click there.
- Carly... - Sam...
- If you don't play our video...
- We're going to eat bananas...
both: Till we explode!
[laughter]
- Yeah!
Play our video.
- Play our video! - Play our video!
- Please play our video!
- Do you think we should play their video?
- I don't know, I kind of want to see them explode.
- In 5, 4, 3, 2.
[upbeat music]
- ♪ I know you see ♪
♪ Somehow the world will change for me ♪
♪ And be so wonderful ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Live life, breathe air ♪
♪ I know somehow we're going to get there ♪
♪ And feel so wonderful ♪
♪ ♪
♪ It's all for real ♪
♪ I'm telling you just how I feel ♪
♪ So wake up the members of my nation ♪
♪ It's your time to breath ♪
♪ There's no chance unless you take one ♪
♪ Every time you see ♪
♪ The brighter side ♪
♪ Of every situation ♪
♪ Some things are meant to be ♪
♪ So give me your best ♪
♪ And leave the rest to me ♪
♪ Leave it all to me ♪ - ♪ Leave it all to me ♪
♪ Just leave it all to me ♪
- Okay, as you know... - Here at "iCarly"...
- We get tons of videos sent to us from you guys, our fans.
- Most of them suck cheese.
- Sam! Anyway, a few days ago...
- We got a video from two dudes named...
- Fleck and Dave. - And it was so good...
- We invited them right here to meet you live on the webernet.
- So pull your hands apart.
- And take it down for...
both: Fleck and Dave!
- Uh, plastic spoons?
- They were out of forks.
- Walk away, Gibby.
- All right, now this is Fleck. - Fleck.
- And he be Dave. - I be!
- He be! - [laughs]
- And you guys make all kinds of wacky videos
and put them up on SplashFace, right?
- Yeah, we do.
- And how long have you guys been doing this together?
- Well, we first met-- wait, when did we meet?
- I think it was back in the 1962 Olympics.
- Right, in Fresno. - Mm-hmm.
- Now the video these guys sent us...
- Pretty dang hilarious.
- The opposite of low-larious.
- Oh, I begged her not to say that.
- I should have listened.
- Playback.
- Now that my blindfold is secure,
it's time to anesthesiate the patient.
- "Anesthesiate"?
- Breathe deeply.
There you go.
[laughter] Breathe in...
[laughs]
It's time for...
surgery. [maniacal laugh]
Now I take my scalpel and make a small incision
just above the patient's belly button.
[machinery beeping]
- [screams]
I'm bleeding. Is that supposed to happen?
- No, stop bleeding.
- How? - You're making a mess.
- Help me. Help me!
- More anestheziation.
- [squawking]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Mmm. - Mmm!
[affirmative mumbling]
- So what do you think? - Rocking smoothie.
- Yeah, it's like sweet but...
[shrieking]
- Hot, hot! - Hot!
- Oh, my God! - Oh!
[all panting]
- They're hot, right? - Yeah.
- I know. - What's in these smoothies?
- Jalapeño juice.
The spicy mixes with the sweet
to give them a one of a kind evil taste.
- No chiz. - [laughs] Cheers.
- So what did you guys think of being on "iCarly" tonight?
- Awesome. - Insane.
We've been dying to get one of our videos on your show.
- Like forever.
- [gasps]
[both shouting]
- You know, our video was viewed by more people
tonight on "iCarly"
than our last video was viewed in a whole year.
- You guys got vicious power. - Oh, we know.
- So are you guys working on anything new?
- Yeah, our next video's got to be,
like, off the charts awesome.
- How come?
- My parents want me to quit making videos with Fleck.
- Why? - Because his dad
doesn't like me.
- My dad hates you.
But it's not just that.
He thinks comedy videos are a waste of time.
- So who cares what he thinks?
- Some people pay attention to their parents.
- Losers.
- You guys know about iShorts?
- Sure. - I love that site.
- Well, they're doing this thing.
Best comedy video submitted by the end of this month
wins five grand.
- Five grand? - Grand means thousand.
- I'm hip.
- Hip people don't say hip.
- Fine, I'm down, I'm cool,
I'm jiggly, whatever.
[panting]
Wow, that's a hot smoothie.
- So what's your guys' next video going to be?
- Well, that depends.
- On? - Us coming up with an idea.
- So you got nothing? - Nada.
- Zero.
- Well, if you guys want us to help--
- Oh, yes, please, please, please, please!
- Oh, yes, please, please. Yeah.
- I think they want our help.
- My tongue needs help.
- These things are good, but way too much heat.
- Seriously, I'm sweating. Feel my pit.
- Feel my no.
- Who likes turkey breast?
- Dude, would you get out--
give me two.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- You texted?
- Yeah, I need your help to win the boat.
- Contest is still going on?
- All week.
I've been watching the Boat Network 24/7
for the past three days.
And so far, I've texted in at least 14 right answers.
- So you think you'll win? - Maybe.
But I've gotta shower, and I'm worried they're gonna
ask another question while I'm in there.
- You haven't showered in 3 days?
- No. - Ew.
- I know.
Yesterday, I was just smelling kind of French,
but now it's getting really bad.
Whoa!
Will you help me?
- I am not giving you a sponge bath
while you watch TV.
Not after last time.
- No!
See, I've angled these mirrors so I can take a shower
and still see the TV.
So if they ask a question, I can jump right on it.
- You know you're a grown man?
- I just need your help adjusting
this last mirror once I get in the shower.
- Go for it. - Stay right there.
Okay, a little to the left.
- Okay. - A little more.
Stop! I can see the TV perfectly now.
Okay, I'm going to shower.
[humming]
- Is that a birthmark on your butt?
- Don't look at it!
- You're overreacting.
- You haven't seen overreacting, young man.
What were you thinking?
Get out! I'm going to call your mom!
- Your dad is loud.
- You make him loud.
- He overreacted.
- You can't use another man's toothbrush.
[knock at door] - Come in.
- How's it going, fellas? - Oh, hey, what's up?
- What's goin' on? - Hey, what's up?
- So do you guys like our purple outfits?
- Totally. - All right, let's get
the video shoot started.
- Okay, I'll get my dad to bring his car in here.
- I can just push it in. - But be careful.
- [mocking gibberish]
- Hey, maybe you want to help Fleck push the car in?
- Why me? - Feel my muscle.
- Yeah, I-I better do it.
- So this is our script?
- Yeah, I just put down some basic ideas
because I figured you guys want to improvise and stuff.
- Yeah, on "iCarly," Sam and I usu--
[horn honks] - Aah, what did you do?
[quirky music]
♪ ♪
- Push like a man! [groaning]
- [laughs] - Fleck!
- Yeah, what's up?
- How did my dad's car get purple?
- I've used about 12 cans of this stuff.
- Dude, my dad's going to murder me.
- I brought salad.
- You said he was cool with us using his car in our video.
- Yeah, but he didn't say we could paint it purple.
- Our characters come from a purple planet.
- Who cares we're playing--
- If we're playing Purpepulons from the planet
Purplelonia, then our vehicle's got to be purple.
Don't you guys agree with it? - [growling]
- Whoa, whoa! Whoa!
Whoa, okay. I know you're upset,
but hedge clippers are never the answer.
- Well-- - Never the answer!
- Hey, you guys ever watched the Mexican dessert channel?
- Dude, when my dad sees this car,
he's gonna explode.
- Get that on film and you'll definitely win
the iShorts competition.
- Your dad's never going to know his car was purple.
See this? I bought paint remover.
- How is 1 ounce of paint remover
gonna clean up this whole car?
- [laughs]
I've got two.
[metal clanking]
You're mean to me.
You know, I'm getting sick and tired of your criticism.
- Are you? - [mocking gibberish] - Guys, let's chill out a little, okay?
It's totally normal for friends
to get on each other's nerves once in a while.
- You have no idea what it's like working with this nut job.
- What do you mean by that?
- You always gotta stress about every little thing.
- You cause my stress.
You give me chest pains and I'm only 13.
Ow.
[overlapping arguing]
- This is getting out of control.
We need to fix this. - I got it.
- Are you kidding me? This is all your fault. - No, it's your fault.
- How is it my fault? - I'm the one who came up with the idea in the first place.
[drill whirring loudly]
- I don't like seeing purple boys fight, all right?
Either you guys are friends or you're not.
Now what's it going to be?
- Not - So not.
both: [screaming] Not!
- [grunting]
- I didn't get this. - Really?
- How does this game work? - Easy.
You just gotta try to move your hands out of the way
before I smack them.
- Well, then, when do you-- aah!
Ow!
That's not fun.
- Then have faster reflexes.
- I don't want to play that-- aah!
- It's okay. You're doing awesome.
- How can you just stand there and play with Freddie?
- What? - Fleck and Dave?
- Oh, they broke up.
- [shouts]
- Ooh, you're getting better at this.
- Come on, those guys were hilarious together.
- So? - We need to fix this.
Let's go talk to them.
- They said they'd never speak to each other ever again.
- Well, then you go talk to Fleck
and I'll go talk to Dave.
- Fine. But one thing first.
- What?
- [groans]
- I won the boat!
I won the boat, I won the boat!
Won the boat! I won it, won the boat!
- You won the boat?
- No.
Yes, I won the boat!
Ahoy, landlubbers.
- Landlubbers? - I do love the land.
- Look at the boat I won. - Wow.
- Nice. It's cool.
- Do you guys realize what we can do with this boat?
- Sell it and pay somebody to get the cat out of the wall.
- The cat's not still in the wall?
[cat meowing]
- [groans]
- Game over.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Um, I don't think this is gonna be enough paint remover.
- This is all Fleck brought. Jerky Fleck.
- So your dad was pretty mad, huh?
- Well, first he yelled.
- Understandable.
- Then he did this to my laptop...
with a hammer!
- Yeah, that's probably gonna void the warranty.
- Whatever. I don't need Fleck.
I'll just make a funny video by myself
and I'll still win the iShorts contest.
- I don't need Dave to win the iShorts contest.
That boy was holding me back. - Come on.
You guys are way funny together.
- He's only funny when I'm standing next to him.
Without me, Dave's just a grumpy adolescent.
- Dude, your relationship with Dave is really important.
You don't wanna just throw away something that's--
You dip your French fries in your smoothie?
- Oh, yeah. Try it.
- Okay, but it seems kinda weird,
'cause the French fry's all salty
and the smoothie's all--
oh, man, you're a genius. - Yeah.
- But seriously.
Wait, what were we talking about?
- Yeah, I know Fleck's really funny,
but that doesn't give him the right to ruin my life.
- Maybe you're exaggerating a little.
- In the last three months, he pushed me off my roof...
- Well, I'm sure he didn't mean to.
- He set my pants on fire!
- Wow, that's rude. But--
- And he sat on my sister.
- Yeah, but--
You must be frustrated.
- Yeah, you have no idea what it's like to work
with someone who's an irresponsible maniac.
- Oh, I kind of do.
- For real.
You can't understand what it's like working with someone
who's always putting the squish on good ideas
'cause they're dangerous or flammable.
- No, I get it.
Sometimes Carly can be like that.
- And usually Sam doesn't even get there
till, like, two minutes before we start the show.
- Fleck's always late like that.
Irritating, right?
- Well, yeah.
And you know, I'm the one who plans out the show.
And I put everything
on these cute little pastel-colored index cards
and half the time she doesn't even look at them.
- Fleck blew his nose in one of my index cards.
- Ew! - Yeah, ew!
- Like one time, we were trying to think of a funny iCarly bit,
so I go, "Hey, why don't we put Freddie
in a diaper, take him to the zoo
and make him sneak into the tiger habitat?"
- That'd be epic. - I know.
But Carly goes, "Oh, no.
What if the tiger mauls Freddie?"
[groans mockingly]
- Wait, wait. She wanted to
put Freddie in a diaper
and make him sneak into the tiger habitat?
- Yeah-huh! - What if he got mauled?
- That's what I said. - Yeah.
Maybe you are better off without Dave.
- That's what I'm saying.
- Yeah, maybe you are better off without Fleck.
- It's just kind of suckish when I'm the one
who does all the hard work
and then someone else takes half the credit, you know?
- Yeah, I know. It's called my life.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Ahoy.
Gibby ho!
- Hey, Spencer.
- So what do you think of my hot new boat?
- It's awesome. - Thanks.
- The SS "Placeholder." That's its name?
- For now. - Cool.
So where are you gonna dock it?
- Down at the Seattle pier. Why?
- That's pretty expensive. - How do you know?
- My cousin keeps a boat down at the pier.
Costs him like a grand a month.
- A grand? - A grand means thousand.
- I know what a grand means.
How am I going to afford a thousand bucks a month?
- Sell the boat.
I'm just brainstorming.
- I guess I'll just keep the boat here
in the parking lot and then take it to the water
when it's time for boating.
- So can I come aboard?
- If you say it right.
- Permission to come aboard, captain?
- Permission, yeah. Get up here.
- Aye aye.
- Watch your step.
Hold on tight.
There you go. All right.
Yeah, there you go.
- Thanks.
So can I be, like, your assistant?
- You mean my boat boy?
- I love that.
- Okay, but first I'll need to christen you
with this novelty nonalcoholic champagne bottle.
- Do it!
Yeah! I'm a boat boy.
- Whoo! - It's a boat!
[upbeat music]
[knock at door]
- Hey. - Hey.
So, how'd things go with Fleck?
- Not great.
Dave? - Bad.
- Then I don't know how we're gonna fix those guys.
- Yeah, I don't even get how they made videos
together as long as they did.
- I know, sounds like he was a nightmare to work with.
- The worst.
[suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
Wait, n-- - Wait.
- Wait, no, wait. - Wait.
Which guy are you talking about?
- Fleck. - Whoa, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Fleck's the cool one. - Huh?
- Well, Dave's all Mr. Responsible
and, like, doesn't even get
the whole spontaneous creative process thing.
- Oh, so you think all the stuff Dave does
to make the Fleck and Dave videos happen
means nothing?
- Well, not as much as what happens on camera?
- Sure.
Figures you'd feel that way.
- Uh, you trying to make a point here?
- Oh no, no, no, no, no.
- Uh-oh, you, uh...
You've got a little sarcasm on your mouth there.
- Let's just say I can relate to Dave's frustrations.
- And there it is.
You think Dave's right 'cause you're just like him.
- I'm just saying it might be nice if you showed
a tiny bit of appreciation
for the work I do to make "iCarly" happen.
- More appreciation?
You already named the show after yourself.
- Well, if you don't like the name "iCarly,"
then maybe we should change it to "iSam who's too lazy
to even show up for rehearsal most of the time."
- Anything else you want to get off your chest?
- It's not like you didn't get plenty off your chest too.
- Well, if you meant everything you said,
then I don't even get why you'd want to be friends with me.
- And back at you.
- Okay then.
[sad music]
♪ ♪
- All friends have fights.
- Yeah, but this one was different.
It wasn't even like a fight.
I mean, we didn't yell or anything.
We just said stuff and it was...bad.
- Come on, you and Sam have been friends forever.
- I know, but... people change.
- Mm-hmm.
That's what happened with me and my friend Eddie Robinson.
He got hit by a bus.
Now he's Deadie Robinson.
Talk about change.
Try a muffin.
- He told us about his dead friend and gave me a muffin.
- What's up, guys?
- Hey, Dave. - Hola, David.
- Did you come up with a funny idea
for the iShorts competition?
- I thought he and Fleck broke up?
- They did. - Yep...
which is why I'm going to make
an awesomely hilarious video by myself.
I don't need Fleck's help or anyone's.
- That's right. - Okay.
- Will you guys help me?
- No way. Seriously?
- Yeah, so, I got his arm behind his back
and I'm bending it and bending it, but it won't snap.
So finally I decided that I'm--um.
- What are you doing here?
- None of your bees cheese.
- We're having a private meeting.
- Good, so are me and Fleck. - How nice.
- T-Bo! - What?
- We want a table as far away from them as possible.
- Have I ever cared where you sit?
- Come on, Fleck.
- I can't believe she came here.
- You came here. - I always come here.
- She always comes here too. - Want to get thumped?
- Look, maybe it's fate that you and Sam are both here.
Why don't you go apologize to her?
- I have nothing to apologize for.
Sam's the one who should say she's sorry.
- She thinks you should say you're sorry.
- Yeah, right. I'll say I'm sorry to Carly
right after T-Bo graduates from medical school.
- I happen to be a doctor of smoothieology.
- And why don't you two keep it down over there?
- Yeah. Ow!
Fleck threw a muffin at me.
- Hey, no throwing muffin--
Ow!
Sam! - It slipped.
- Uh, you got cranberry on your nose.
- I'm so sorry.
- I accept your apology.
- It wasn't for you.
It was for that lady I muffined.
- Guys, come on.
We have a web show to do tomorrow night,
so you two better work this out.
- Maybe I don't wanna work it out.
- Fine. I can do "iCarly" by myself.
- You can't do "iCarly" without me.
- Yes, I can.
'cause we do it at my house
and--and you're banned from there!
- I don't want to be there.
I don't even want to be in the same room with you.
- Well, lucky you. There's the door.
- Good, why don't you use it? - I will.
- No, I will. Come on, Fleck.
- Let's go, Dave.
[all grunting]
- Are you okay, ma'am? Would you like to be help--
- No!
[horn blaring]
- Ah! [seagulls calling]
There's nothing like a sunny day on the high seas,
captaining a fine nautical boat.
Aah, Gibby!
- I'm sorry. I squeezed the nozzle too hard.
- You're supposed to create a refreshing ocean spray.
That was like a whale peed in my face.
- Well, when do we take this thing
out in the ocean for real?
- When I figure out how to pay for the dock space.
- Well, it's not much fun being a boat boy in a parking lot.
- It's called paying your dues.
Now swab the deck and rotate the shuttlecock
towards the starboard bow.
- I don't know what that stuff means.
- Then consult your boat boy handbook!
[horn blaring]
- Hey! - Hiya.
- Aho!
- Look at the pronunciation key.
- Ahoy!
- Your boat is in my parking space.
- I'm sorry. They dropped it off here
and I don't have anywhere else to put it yet.
- How about in the ocean? - That's why I keep saying.
- Gibby.
- That is my spot.
My dad pays extra for it.
- Why don't you and your dad come hang out
with us on the boat?
It's pretty fun. And later on my boat boy
is going to barbecue some chicken.
- I make my own sauce.
- I'm not interested in your sauce.
And I don't want to hang out on your stupid boat.
[phone ringing]
You're lucky I gotta go to baseball practice.
But if that boat's still here when I get back,
I'm going to kick your butts.
- Ooh!
Big talk from a guy who doesn't even have a boat.
Bye-bye. Drive recklessly.
Man, that guy is such a dishra--hey!
Save it for the chicken.
- In 5, 4, 3, 2...
Hello, I'm Freddie.
[canned cheers and applause] Thank you.
Tonight on "iCarly,"
we embark on a bold experiment in live webcasting,
since Carly and Sam will be doing the show
from different locations.
So cross your fingers and all other parts of you.
- "iCarly" presents
dual location webcasting.
Yeah! [cheers and applause]
- Tonight Sam is webcasting from a super-secret location.
- I'm in my living room.
- It was super-secret. Now it's not.
[headset feedback]
- What did she say? - Nothing.
Helping us out tonight
are two of the funniest video makers ever,
my buddy Dave...
- What up, web watchers?
- And here's Dave's more entertaining partner, Fleck.
- Love me, and you get this free knife.
both: Ooh.
- And now it's time for
another "iCarly" pathetic play.
- Tonight, the vampire with a gigantic nose...
- And the hobo who thought the vampire's nose
was a grapefruit.
- Good evening. Are you also a vampire?
- Why, no, no, no. I'm a hobo.
- I've never tasted the blood from the neck of a hobo.
- Well, I'll give you a taste of my neck blood
for a bite of that grapefruit on your face.
- Pardon me, but there is no grapefruit upon my face.
- Of course there is.
Right where your nose ought to be.
What's wrong?
- Sam's signal got scrambled.
Here, I got it.
- No, I not need to take a ride on your choo choo train.
[cackles]
- Um, I haven't mentioned a choo choo train.
Yet.
- Well, I wasn't sure
'cause I couldn't hear you for a moment there.
- Sorry there, vampire,
but I didn't hear what you just uttered.
- Ah, if only our technical producer wasn't such a diphead.
[cackles]
- Well, maybe someone oughta let it go
and stick to the script.
- Mm, perhaps I would if only a certain hobo
had written a better script. [laughs sarcastically]
- Well, I know a certain vampire
who's asking for a pinch in the grapefruit.
- Whoa.
Things are getting pretty tense between Carly and Sam.
- Ah, they'll be cool.
[microwave beeping]
Fish stick?
- My favorite part of the fish, captain.
[indistinct shouting and horns honking]
Uh-oh, looks like trouble at the stern port...bow.
- Let's go!
- Whoa, he brought his baseball team.
- Yeah, the pirates.
- Hey, captain stupid.
You gonna move your boat or not?
- I don't have anywhere to take it yet.
- Then we're coming aboard and taking over your boat.
Huh? Right, guys?
Let's get him.
- What are we going to do?
- Pelt them with fish sticks.
Pelt! - Ow!
- Pelt! Pelt, pelt, pelt!
- Pelt! - Ahh!
- Get off my boat.
[indistinct shouting]
- Okay, you got us! You got us!
- No, Gibby, we never surrender this boat!
[screams] - [screams]
- [groans]
They have our boat.
- But I got the sauce.
- Okay, sorry about the technical difficulties tonight.
But now that things are working again, why don't we--
- Hello? - Sam?
- Hello. - Can you hear me?
- I don't think it's working.
- Freddie's such an idiot.
- You're still on.
Freddie.
Freddie!
- While we resolve these technical difficulties,
please enjoy this pre-taped video of a man
biting the heads off Bambi dolls.
- Sam, can you hear me? - I can now.
This whole thing is jank. - What whole thing?
- Us doing "iCarly" from different locations.
- Please get her back so I can keep yelling at her.
- I'm trying. - Sam!
Sam, can you hear me or not?
- Yeah, I hear you.
I was saying that it's not my fault.
You guys--
Freddie, why am I upside down?
- I'm working on it. [groans]
There. - [speaking Spanish]
- Uh, that's not me.
- That's the Mexican dessert channel.
- [speaking Spanish]
- Thank you.
- Okay, you know what...
this isn't gonna work.
- Yeah, no chiz.
- Let's just end this.
- Come on, you guys have never stopped
in the middle of a show before.
- I don't mean end this show.
I mean end "iCarly."
- Cool with me.
- You guys, you can't just--
- [growls] - No, no, no, no, Sam, don't.
[school bell ringing]
- Sam. - Carly.
- Hey. - Hey.
- I just texted Dave. We're all set for
you guys' shoot after school. - Good.
- Whoa, I thought you were gonna help me and Fleck
shoot stuff after school?
- You never asked me to help you and Fleck.
- That doesn't mean you can just back out on me.
- Don't try to intimidate him.
- Fleck and I gotta finish our video on time
for the iShorts competition, which we're going to win.
- No, Dave and I are going to win
because we thought ahead and made a plan
with Freddie to shoot our video.
- I have as much of a right to Freddie as you.
- You do not! Freddie loves me.
- I can't believe you two are really breaking up.
- Believe it. - Don't worry.
I know this is hard for you, but...
always remember, it's not your fault.
- This has been coming a long time.
- And just 'cause Sam and I are splitting up
doesn't mean I love you any less.
- And I don't hate you any more than I always have.
- [groans]
- Come on, Freddie. Let's go to study hall.
- Wait!
You can't just take Freddie whenever you want him.
- [groans] - Okay.
Maybe we should let Freddie decide who he wants to go with.
- It's not fair to make him choose between us.
He's just a boy.
- Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.
What if I want to choose?
- Fine.
I'll buy you a big, high speed hard drive.
- You can't buy Freddie's love.
Here's $20.
- All right, I can't take this.
- Oh, it's okay. - She doesn't mean to hurt you.
- I just want things to be the way they were.
- See what you did? - You're a monster.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Hey, peoples. - Hey.
- Are you guys shooting stuff for "iCarly"?
- No, not for "iCarly."
- You didn't tell him that you and Sam-- - I'll tell him later.
Dave and I are shooting a video
to try and win this competition on iShorts.
- Dave? - I'm Dave.
- iShorts? - Popular website.
- That guy? - Morris.
- I work for Loubert. Remember I got
that cat out of your wall?
[cat meowing]
Well, you know.
- Anyway, now that I know what's going on,
what are you guys shooting?
- Just cool shots of Seattle at night from the 14th floor.
- From his window washing platform.
- From his wi--wh-- holdy-hold up there.
From his window washer's platform?
- Yeah. - It's completely safe.
I'm going to put the kids in harnesses
and I'll be there with them the whole time.
- Oh.
You'll be careful? - Promise.
- Okay.
Then we're going to put together a giant slingshot
and go buy 30 watermelons.
- Shaboom!
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Okay, you all wait here.
I'll take the elevator down and get the harnesses.
- Thanks. - Okay.
[elevator bell dings]
[bell tolling, traffic passing]
- Wow, we're so high up. - Yeah.
I bet if I spit from up here
and it hit somebody in the parking lot,
it'd go right through their skull.
- That's the boyist thing I've ever heard a boy say.
- Uh, excuse me?
- What are you doing here? - What are you doing here?
- Why are you here? - Why are you here?
- We're here 'cause Freddie's helping me and Carly
shoot some stuff for the video we're making.
- Out on the window washer's platform?
- Yeah. I set it up with Morris.
- Well, I asked Morris too
and he said I should meet him here tonight.
Now. - Why would he tell you--
- Because if you both asked him, he probably thought you guys wanted to shoot stuff together.
- Well, we don't.
- [gasps] Ryan Seacrest.
[dog barking]
Ha-ha!
- Sam!
- You're not wearing a harness!
- Ha, harnesses are for fallers.
- Get back in here.
- No, me and Fleck get to go first
'cause I'm out here and you're not.
- Oh, yeah?
- No, no, no, Carly!
Get back in here.
- Let me go! Let me go!
- This is not safe. - I wouldn't do that.
[metal groaning]
[horns honking]
- [shudders]
- Guys, get back inside.
It's way too dangerous to be out there without a harness.
- You heard him. Go back inside.
- You first.
- Yeah, I don't think so.
I ain't going anywhere.
Give me that back!
[shrieks]
- What was that?
- A very large bird?
Who likes peanuts and nougat.
Come on. We've got a job to do.
- Set course for Payback Island.
[mischievous music]
♪ ♪
- Now...let's see what our pirate friends are up to.
[dance music]
- What are they doing? - Having fun.
Exceeding maximum occupancy.
Hand me a melon.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
Now we pull back.
[all cheering and chattering]
So, Gibby,
what happens when you strike a match?
- Well, the friction from the match head
against the striking surface--
- Fire!
- [shrieks] - What was that?
- Yeah!
- Direct hit, sir.
- [laughs] Eat that, pirates!
- I think they're still hungry.
- Then let's fruit some Jerks.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- It was a watermelon. How can a watermelon--
- Two more! [all shouting]
- Yeah! Whoo!
- Shall we hit them again, sir?
- Indeed we shall.
- I mean it!
Both of you get back inside right now.
- I'm not going back in unless Carly goes first.
- I'm not going back in until Dave and I shoot
what we need for our video.
No matter how messy this wind makes my hair.
- Carly, it's not worth it.
And you guys are friends. You shouldn't be fighting.
- Yeah, friends shouldn't fight.
- I just said that.
- Well, I thought it before you said it.
- Liar.
[overlapping shouting]
- [yelps]
Man, it's really windy out here.
- [yelps]
[electronic whirring] - Hold on!
[all shouting]
- Oh, my God, Sam, we're moving.
- And that's my fault?
- Yes. You hit the button thingy.
- Oh, man. Why'd I hit the button thingy?
- Just make it stop! - How?
- [groans] Hit that-- hit the red one.
- Okay. [machinery buzzes]
[platform groaning]
[horns honking]
- You guys okay?
- I think so.
- But how are we gonna get--
[shrieking]
[all screaming]
- [panicked panting]
- Carly! - Carly, don't let go.
- Why on earth would I let go?
- Shaboom. [all shrieking]
- It's insane. - Let's go.
Come on. - [screams]
- Go back! Go back!
[screaming]
Abandon ship, abandon ship!
- Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
- Come on, let's go! [shouting]
- Whoo-hoo, yeah! - [laughs]
- We did it! [tires squealing]
- [panting] [horn honks]
[shrieks]
- Carly, don't let go.
- Okay, but can you guys give me any other advice?
[traffic honking]
[screams]
- Whoo!
- [distant screaming] - Hey...
- [screaming] - What's going on up there?
- [screaming] - I don't know.
Huh, looks like--
- [screams] - Oh, no, ahh!
[screaming gibberish]
- Shaboom.
- I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall!
- You're not going to fall.
- Yes, I am! I'm slipping.
- Well, don't slip! - I'm not slipping by choice!
Stupid gravity!
[both straining]
- Hang on. I'm coming to get you.
- Sam, be careful. - Thanks for the tip!
O-okay.
Mama's coming. - [grunting]
- I'm not scared. This is fun.
- Spencer! - Got it!
Move!
Carly, don't let go.
- Yeah, we're pretty much on the same page.
- Sam, what are you doing?
- Just relax.
- Sam. - Here!
Grab my hand.
[wind whistling] - I'm scared.
- Me too! Just grab it.
[both straining]
- [shrieks]
- Sam, you're not strong enough to pull her up.
- Really?
[groaning]
[both grunting]
- She's up on the thing. - I see her up on the thing!
Who's that guy? - Fleck.
- Nice to meet you.
- Come on.
[groans] - Okay, okay...
Okay, I'm up, I'm up. - Okay.
- Okay, I'm gonna throw down the rope.
- Hurry. - Okay.
- Spencer--
[shrieks]
[screaming]
Situation! Situation!
Situation, situation!
[screaming]
[overlapping shouting]
- [screams]
- Okay, I got you.
I got you, okay. - [shrieks]
- I got you, I got you!
Wait, pull back the other foot.
- I can't! I'm trapped!
- I'm coming. - I can't; I'm trapped.
- Okay. Ready?
- Yeah. - Go.
Okay, okay. Come on.
- Hair, hair!
- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
- Ow, ow. - Okay, go.
Push, push!
- I'm up. - Are you up?
- Yeah, yeah! - [grunts]
- Thanks so much.
- Just tie it around yourselves and we'll pull you up.
- Okay. - Okay, guys,
grab on tight and get ready.
- Are you girls ready? - Pull!
- Pull already! - Pull.
[all straining]
[both screaming]
- Okay, we got this. - Ready?
- Yeah. - Keep pulling!
[all straining]
- Come on!
- Pull, pull! - Keep going!
Just a little bit more!
- Come on. - There they are.
Give me your hand. - Keep pulling!
- [screams] - Pull!
- Okay, guys, got it! Got it! - Yeah, we got it, we got it!
[indistinct chatter]
- Yeah! Yeah!
- You guys okay?
- I think so. - We're good.
- That was way too close. - No chiz.
- Well, we made it. - Yeah.
- And neither one of us cried the whole time.
- Nope. We're brave.
- Yeah, we are.
[poignant music]
[both whimpering]
[sobbing]
♪ ♪
[both sobbing]
[elevator dings]
- I got the harnesses.
What happened?
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- In 5, 4, 3, 2.
- I'm the Carly. - I'm the Sam.
both: And this is "iCarly."
- You know our little friends Fleck...
- And Dave. - Well, over the past week...
- We helped Fleck and Dave shoot a fun little video.
- For the competition at iShorts.com.
So now... - Without further shkadoo...
- We present...
all: "The Blowing."
[bell tolling]
[dramatic music]
- There's a wind coming.
- A wind?
- Strong wind.
- Stronger than this?
- Oh, yes.
- [screams]
- [groaning]
- [screaming]
- [grunting]
- [shrieks]
- How do we save ourselves from the wind?
- We don't. - [screams]
How can we survive?
- We can't.
- [screaming]
- Will we have time to make this movie?
- We won't.
- No one can save you.
- [screams]
- [softly] Oh.
- What's happening?
[screams]
- Where's my ointment?
- I don't know!
- Not even your pasta is safe.
[glass breaking] - [shouts]
- Tell me the name.
- [distorted voice] You don't want to know.
- Tell me the name of this wind!
- They call it...
The Blowing.
[all screaming]
♪ ♪
- "The Blowing."
Coming soon.
- This wind blows!
[shrieks]
[all blowing]
- Hey, Carly. Hey, Sam.
My name's Tom, and I can play basketball
and ride the unicycle at the same time.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- [bell] - MAN: Mmm!