[knocking at door] - Open.
- Hey. - Yo. Yo.
- Thanks for letting me watch TV over here.
- I thought your mom just bought a huge new TV last month.
- She did, but you know that senator she's been dating?
- Uh-huh. - He stole it.
- A senator stole your TV?
- Yeah, turns out he wasn't a real senator.
- I told your mom there was no such state as New Kentucky.
- Hey, what's your password to buy a pay-per-view show?
- Why? What are we watching?
- The Shelby Marx fight.
- Who is Shelby Marx? - Uh, try the best female
fighter in the entire CFC and she's only 15.
- We're gonna pay to watch two girls fight?
- Yeah, what's your pay-per-view password?
- Well, wait, I have to check with Spencer
and make sure that it's okay before--
- 1234? - Yes.
[knocking]
- Hey, you guys want to work on--
- No, stop talking. - Why?
- 'Cause you never say anything interesting.
Now, shh!
- What's her deal?
- She's all excited about this Shelby Marx fight.
- Shelby Marx is fighting tonight?
- Has everyone heard about this girl but me?
- Yes. - Yeah.
- She is crazy hot.
She can kick me in the face any day.
- Shelby Marx's foot is too good for your face.
- Hola muchachas y muchacho. - Hey. - Hey, what's up? - Oh, Limp Bizkit.
Hey, hey, hey. It's Shelby.
- Hello, fight fans, welcome...
- Man, she is smoking hot. - She's a fighting machine.
- Her shorts are so cute. - [sneezes loudly]
- The fight everybody is talking about.
- Okay, how do I make that girl my future wife?
- I thought you wanted me to be your future wife.
- Could that happen? - Could not happen.
- [sneezes]
- Ugh! Dude, you got sneeze goo on the back of my neck.
- Sorry. - You got a cold?
- No, allergies. - Bad allergies.
- Yeah, but not after-- not after this year.
You know that doctor who lives here in our building?
- In apartment 7B? - No.
The guy in 7B just likes to dress up like a doctor.
Don't ever talk to him.
I meant Dr. Dresdin in 10G--
[sneezes]
and he's-- [knocking]
Here right now. [sneezes] Coming.
[groans]
- Hey, Spencer.
- Hey, Doc, did you bring medicine?
- Here you go. - Awesome.
- Now, remember you have to take these for the full 30 days
and then you should never have allergies again.
- That's amazing. - How come everyone
with allergies doesn't take that stuff?
- 'Cause this medicine was just recently approved.
Well, not here in the U.S.
But it was approved in Cuba and some parts of Canada.
- Well, are you sure it's okay for--are you sure--
- I think you should take it.
But I have to warn you about the side effects.
- What side effects? - Itching, sweating,
loss of short-term memory,
being thirsty, drowsy, muscle spasms.
- That's a lot of side effects.
- You want to get rid of your allergies?
- [sneezes] Yes. - Take those pills.
- Okay, you are the doctor.
You are a doctor, right?
- Yes. Good luck.
- Okay, everybody shut up, the fight's about to start.
- Wait. Channel 326. That's pay-per-view.
- It's only 80 bucks. - 80!
- Unless you order it in hi-def,
which I did, so it's actually 100 bucks.
- 100 bucks? - Shh! Here we go.
- Rising star Shelby Marx at only 15 years old
is by far the youngest fighter in the CFC female division.
- But no one's been able to beat her yet.
- True, but that could change tonight as she takes
on 26-year-old champion Maya Feckner.
- [sneezes] - That's enough.
[whistle blows] - Fight.
- Come on, Shelby. - Give her the right!
- You got to take her down. - Come on!
- Come on, Shelby. - Ooh!
- Go, Shelby!
[both grunting]
all: Whoa! - That had to hurt.
- Oh, what a hit.
Yeah!
- Go, Shelby!
She's an animal! I love her!
- A hundred bucks.
- Feckner in trouble. - Feckner in trouble!
- She's got her in an arm lock.
- And Maya Feckner taps out. [bell rings]
- It's over? - It's over!
- Shelby Marx has just shocked the world by becoming
the youngest female champion
in the history of CFC fighting.
- Ooh! Yeah! Shelby! [knocking]
- She's my girl. - Oh, she's so awesome.
- Yeah.
- Hey, did you take any of those allergy pills yet?
- No, not yet. - Ooh.
These are the allergy pills.
My dog has worms.
- In five, four, three, two...
[upbeat music]
- ♪ I know you see ♪
♪ Somehow the world will change for me ♪
[together] ♪ And be so wonderful ♪
- ♪ Live life, breathe air ♪
♪ I know somehow we're going to get there ♪
[together] ♪ And feel so wonderful ♪
♪ It's all for real ♪
- ♪ I'm telling you just how I feel ♪
♪ So wake up the members of my nation ♪
[together] ♪ It's your time to be ♪
- ♪ There's no chance unless you take one ♪
♪ And the time to see the brighter side ♪
♪ Of every situation ♪
♪ Some things are meant to be ♪
♪ So give me your best and leave the rest to me ♪
♪ Leave it all to me ♪
♪ Just leave it all to me ♪
[laughter]
- Okay, and that completes
our five-part series on toes with fros.
Okay, as you know, Sam and I
always like to keep you guys up to date on what's cool.
- So now we're gonna show you the baddest,
most butt-kickingest girl in the world.
- Her name is Shelby Marx.
- And in case you haven't seen her yet, Freddie,
roll the clip.
- Play back.
- Okay, Shelby is one seriously tough chick.
- Oh, I don't know Carls, I think you could take her.
- Yeah, right. You hear that Shelby Marx?
I could kick your butt, anytime, anywhere.
Let's go, Shelby.
- She's just kidding. - Totally kidding.
- Carly couldn't beat up my cat.
- And her cat only has three legs.
- Carly, not a tough girl. - But I do wear cute skirts.
- Oh, hey girls, oh, argh!
You guys doing homework? Oh!
- What is wrong with you?
- Ah, it's just a side effect from the allergy pills I'm taking. I've been itchy all day.
Oh. Ah!
- Um, maybe you should stop taking those allergy pills.
- No way.
I haven't sneezed once since last night.
Getting rid of my allergies forever,
it's totally worth a little scratching.
Oh, my poor itchy thigh.
- Don't we use that spoon to cook with?
- Uh-huh.
Hey, don't we have a tube of anti-itch cream somewhere.
- Yeah, check the medicine cabinet in the hall bathroom.
- Okay. - Hi, sorry to barge in. Move.
- Freddie. - Have you been online?
- No, not for a few hours. Why, what's--
- Oh, this is bad.
- Oh, man, did someone post more pics
of my mom in her bikini?
- This is worse. - What could be worse than--
- Look. - I could kick your butt.
You hear that, Shelby Marx?
- I could kick your butt. - Anytime, anywhere.
- Let's go, Shelby. - That's so stupid.
- It's dangerous.
- What are you freaking on about?
Fans re-edit "iCarly" stuff all the time.
- But people are taking this seriously.
Listen to some of the comments.
That Carly chick is out of her mind.
Bring on the fight. Shelby would destroy that twig.
- Twig? - I'm not a twig,
and I'm getting curvier every day.
- I know. - Eyes up, dude.
- You're making a big old deal out of nothing.
- But this video's been viewed almost half a million times.
- So?
- So what if Shelby Marx sees it?
- Dude, she's a world class professional fighter.
She trains, like, ten hours a day.
- Yeah, I seriously doubt she spends her time
watching videos online.
- But maybe she-- - Oh!
What goes on?
[doorbell rings]
- I'll get it. Coming.
- Carly, hi.
I'm Shelby Marx.
I saw your video about me.
- Oh, you did? Wow.
That's so cool, because--[screams]
- Would you scratch my back with this golf club?
- Uh, maybe this wasn't such a great idea.
- No, no, this is the best idea ever.
Spencer, will you hurry up and find Carly already!
- I looked under her bed,
in every closet, on the fire escape.
Oh, there's a big itch. Oh!
- Just go find Carly. - Okay!
- Hey, Shelby. I made you some raisin bread toast.
- What?
- Oh, this is pathetic.
- Ah, thanks, but raisins kind of creep me out.
- Oh, well, I can get rid of the raisins.
There you go, raisin free.
- You also creep me out.
- [screams]
- Ooh, I think Spencer found Carly.
- Let me go. - Listen to what she has to say.
- She's going to kick me in the face. - No she won't.
- You're getting itch cream all over my outfit. - It'll wash out. Just relax.
- Spencer! - Calm down!
- Let me go. - Ah!
- Carly. - I didn't make that video and I was just kidding around
when I said that stuff about being able to kick your butt.
But someone took the video and edited it to make it look I really said I could kick your butt.
But I don't even want to kick your butt. Your butt's never done anything to me and I'm sure it's super cute.
- Relax. - Shelby's not mad at you.
- She's not? - No, I'm not mad at you.
- Okay, good, whew.
- But I do want to fight you.
- Hey. - [screams]
- Hey! Come on, come back.
You're stupid. What are you doing?
- [clears throat] I like raisin bread toast.
- But why would you want to fight me?
- Actually, it was my manager Rod's idea.
- Oh, well thanks a lot, Rod.
- Look, we're not talking about a championship fight
or anything like that. Just a one-round exhibition, like a show.
- A show where Shelby punches and kicks me lots of times.
- No, see, I wouldn't really be trying to hurt you.
Think of it as, like, a fun fight.
- Just a fun fight.
- Um, why is your brother--
- Oh, he's taking an experimental
allergy medication. - Which has side effects.
- Like itching. - I totally stopped itching.
- Then why don't you put on some pants?
- Good call, back in two secs.
- That's Juan, my trainer. - Hi.
- I like this raisin toast. You put cinnamon on this?
- Yeah. - Nice.
- So back to this fight thing.
- Right.
Look, Shelby's the best young female fighter in the world,
but we want more people to know about her,
and you're famous on the internet.
Well, think about it, two famous teenage girls,
both beautiful, both successful,
fighting it out in the octagon.
Now, millions of people will tune in to watch that
which, will be great promotion for Shelby and for "iCarly."
- I think this sounds awesome. - I love it.
- But I won't get hurt, right?
- Does it feel hot in here to you guys? Whew.
- And I know I can get this fight booked on prime time TV.
- Really? - No way.
- But I won't get hurt, right?
- [exhales] No one else feels hot?
- And the fight will make a bunch of money
which we can donate to charity.
- That is a great idea. - See?
- Yeah, perfect. - Everybody wins.
- But I won't get hurt, right? Someone say right.
- No worries.
- Right. - See, a professional fighter
knows how to throw punches that look real
but don't actually hurt. Like this.
- Ah! Ow!
That actually hurt. - See, I'm not a professional.
- Shelby, show her. - Come here, Carly.
- No! - Get up.
Get off the couch.
- I don't wanna, I don't-- - Go. Go.
- I don't--I just want-- [muttering]
- Okay, ready? - No.
- Yeah, you are. - Lista. Vamonos.
- [screaming]
[whimpers, screams]
- See, nothing to worry about.
- So, will you do it?
- Spencer, what do you think? - Well, as long as it's safe,
I think it sounds like a great thing for Shelby
and for "iCarly."
- Is sweating one of the side effects of your allergy meds?
- Yeah, why? Is it noticeable?
- And it's now official.
Shelby Marx, the new CFC female champion,
will be fighting in an exhibition match
against sassy challenger,
Carly Shay, the host of her own popular comedy
web show, "iCarly."
The two girls will be going toe to toe,
live on national television next Saturday night.
- Wow, this fight is getting a ton of publicity.
- You're sweating into your soup.
- Oh, God.
- I can't believe you bought them.
- They were only a dollar a dozen.
- I know, but I just think it's a bad idea
to buy clams from a guy on a street corner.
Who put up these posters?
- Me and Freddie.
We want everyone to watch, right?
- Yeah, I guess.
- You're pretty brave, Carly. - Hope you can take a punch.
- No, see, it's just an exhibition fight.
Shelby's not--
- Carly, you're seriously gonna fight Shelby Marx?
- Yeah, but just for fun. It's not gonna be like a real--
- Do you know how hard she can punch and kick?
- I know. She knocked that Russian girl's front teeth out with one kick to the jaw.
- I saw that. Poor Russian girl.
- Yeah, now she talks like-- [gibberish]
- Can we change the subject?
- Carly. - Oh, hi, Mr. Connick.
- Take this card.
- Dr. Rick Schaffer? - My brother-in-law
over at St. Mary's Hospital.
He specializes in facial reconstruction.
- Why are you giving me this?
- You're fighting Shelby Marx, right?
- Yeah, but she's not gonna smash my face in.
- I don't know. She knocked that Russian girl's front teeth out with one kick to the jaw.
- We were just talking about that.
- Now she talks like-- both: [gibberish]
- Okay, come with me.
- What?
- I'm starting to feel really nervous about this whole thing.
- Why? - Oh, I don't know.
Maybe it's all the talk about me being punched
and facial reconstruction and some poor Russian girl
who apparently talks like this now--
[gibberish]
- Come on, Shelby's not gonna hurt you. She said so.
- Oh, what if she forgets?
- She's a professional. You're gonna be totally safe.
[phone chimes]
- Who texted you? - Shelby's manager.
The press conference is tomorrow night.
- Oh, that reminds me.
I got to teach you how to trash talk.
- Trash talk? - Yeah.
You and Shelby got to get in each other's faces
and say mean stuff and pretend you hate each other.
- Why? - Because it gets people
all psyched to watch the fight.
- But I don't think I'm the trash-talking type.
- Well, try. Here pretend I'm Shelby.
Now, say something to get me mad.
- Okay. Um...
Hey, you want a piece of me?
Well, too bad. No pieces for you. Jerk.
- We'll work on it.
- Thirsty. So thirsty.
- Here, we sit on this side. - Oh, thank God, water.
- What's his problem now?
- Another side effect from his allergy meds.
- At least the sweating stopped.
- Yeah, but now he's insanely thirsty.
He's been drinking water like that
ever since he woke up this morning.
- Is that why he tried to drink that puddle outside?
- Ahh.
Hey buddy, I'm gonna need some more of these.
- Here she comes. Shelby!
- Shelby, what's up champ? - Shelby!
- Here comes team Shelby.
- Way to go, Shelby. - Remember the trash talk.
- Trash talk, okay.
- Hi. I'm Rod Springer,
and I am pleased to welcome all of you here tonight
so we can talk a little bit with our two fighters,
Carly Shay and, of course, Shelby Marx.
[applause]
- But first, as Shelby's manager,
I'd like to welcome a special guest,
Shelby's grandmother, Edith,
who just got home from the hospital yesterday
and is here to support Shelby. Wave to the people, Edith.
Carly, why don't you come up here first?
- Ah, sure. - Trash talk.
- Okay.
[mic feedback squeaks] Hi.
I just want to say that I'm really looking forward
to getting in that octagon
and, you know, mixing it all up with Shelby.
Oh, and I'm gonna give her a good pop in the mouth.
[all muttering]
Questions?
[all clamoring]
- Yes, Carly. You've never fought anyone before.
What makes you think you can take on a great fighter
like Shelby Marx?
- Oh, good question.
Um,
well, you call Shelby a great fighter,
but I say she's just a punk.
And not the cool kind.
- Carly. - Yeah, question?
- Are you saying you don't respect Shelby's punching
and kicking power? - Oh, no, I wasn't saying--
- [clears throat]
Carly meant to say that she's not scared
of Shelby Marx 'cause Shelby is not even that good a fighter.
She's all hype.
[crowd murmuring, gasping]
- Don't overdo it. - I got this.
In fact, Carly predicts she'll knock Shelby Marx
on her butt in the first 30 seconds of the fight.
[all murmuring] - Oh, does she?
- Maybe not the first 30 seconds.
- Sit down, Shelby.
No one wants to hear you run your mouth.
- Wow. - Ooh.
- Are you kidding me?
- Don't you talk to my granddaughter like that.
- Sit down, old lady.
- I'm pretty sure you're overdoing it.
- Okay if Carly is so tough, let's go right now.
- Bring it.
[all clamoring, shouting]
- [screams]
[slow-motion scream]
[all gasping]
- Get her off me! Get her off me!
- Unbelievable.
Carly Shay just tackled the sickly grandmother
of Shelby Marx.
- Help me. Help!
- Uh, I fell. I was pushed.
- You tackled my grandmother. - I--
- Listen!
I was gonna take it easy on you,
but now you're going down.
Hard.
- Hard?
- That was awesome!
Shelby looks like she really wants to destroy you.
- She does. - Oh, well, that's bad.
- You're making too big a deal out of this.
- No, I'm dead.
Shelby Marx is gonna destroy me.
- Carly-- - Everybody said,
"Oh, you should fight Shelby Marx.
It'll just be for fun."
Well, it's not fun now, is it? No. Now she hates me.
So she's going to punch me and kick me in my head
until I talk like-- [gibberish]
- Well, you shouldn't have attacked her grandmother.
- I didn't attack anyone!
You started a big ruckus with your dumb trash talking idea.
- [laughing] Ruckus.
- It's a word. [doorbell rings]
It's Shelby. Ah! I'm not here.
- You texted?
- Hey Doc, I wanted to talk to you
about this allergy medication you gave me.
- Okay, what?
- First I was itching like crazy,
then I was sweating like an animal,
and now I'm insanely thirsty,
no matter how much water I drink.
- I told you to get rid of your allergies forever,
you're gonna have to put up with some side effects.
- Okay, but you're sure these pills are safe?
- Man, you ask a lot of questions.
- Hey, you guys, we're on the news.
- Turn it up.
- But the press conference erupted in chaos
when Carly Shay tackled
the elderly grandmother of her opponent, Shelby Marx.
- I didn't tackle her elderly grandmother.
We were pushed and I fell on her.
- She can't hear you.
- And with Shelby's fighting skills,
I sure wouldn't want to be Carly Shay,
stepping into that octagon with her on Saturday night.
- Man, that girl's gonna kick your head off.
Good luck with your allergy pills.
- Thanks.
- Well, that's it. I'm canceling the fight.
- Aww. - I think you have to.
- Agreed. [knocking]
- What, Gibby?
- Why'd you tackle her grandmother?
- I didn't.
- But I saw the press conference
and it looked to me that-- don't slam the door.
- And that's why garbage cans make really bad underwear.
- Right, Gibby?
- This is so uncomfortable.
- Um, okay, that's it for "iCarly" tonight.
- Uh, except for...
- Oh, yes, except for one announcement.
I've decided to cancel the fight
between me and Shelby Marx.
- Fight's off, people.
- Sorry, but I decided I like my face
and I don't want to see it rearranged.
- So until next time. Bye.
- Buh-bye. - Cinco.
- Quatro. - Cheese. Cheese.
- Onions. Onions. - Later.
- And we're clear.
- Can I take this thing off now?
- Uh, wait one sec. You guys think it's possible
to give a guy wearing garbage can underpants a wedgie?
- No, not possible. Mm-mm. - No, not possible.
- Let's see. - No, no, no, Sam.
Sam, Sam, it's possible.
No, it's possible. It's very, very possible.
No!
- Well, yeah, I just can't believe that Carly
is backing out of the fight.
I mean, first she challenges me,
then she body slams my grandma.
And then she just chickens out?
- It's pretty lame, isn't it? - Well, yeah.
Carly's disappointing all my fans,
all her "iCarly" fans, oh, and the fight
was gonna raise a lot of money for a good charity.
- To help animals? - Uh-huh, we were gonna help
unwanted bunnies find good, loving homes.
But now 'cause Carly backed out,
this little baby has nowhere to go.
- So sad.
- I'm never watching "iCarly" again.
[indistinct whispering]
- What's your problem? - Huh?
- Why'd you chicken out of the fight?
- Oh, I didn't chicken out.
I just--I was afraid that Shelby would hurt me,
so I canceled because-- to make sure that--
there's nothing wrong with chickening out once in a while.
- Chicken.
- Hey, dude, you know everybody is giving me and Freddie
a hard time 'cause you backed out of the fight.
- I know. I got called a coward in the parking lot
and those kids just called me a chicken and made me feel bad.
Gibby. Hey, you get why I had to cancel the fight, don't you?
- Duh, can we talk later?
I don't want to be seen with you in public.
- Gibby, why are you talking to her?
- I'm not. I was just calling her a chicken.
Bawk bawk bawk bawk!
Call me later. Bawk bawk bawk bawk!
- Ah, don't let it bug you. Kids can be mean.
- Carly's a chicken.
- Hi. - One sec.
- Hey, Socko, Happy Birthday, buddy, buddy, buddy!
Socko and I always do that on each other's birthday.
- I know. So how's your thirst problem?
- Gone. These pills are awesome.
I still have no allergy problems
and I think all the crazy side effects are over.
- Yay. - So how was school today?
- Bad.
Everyone, even teachers are calling me a coward
for backing out of the fight.
- Aw, one sec, hey Socko,
Happy Birthday, buddy, buddy, buddy!
- Socko and I always do that on each other's birthday.
- You do it twice?
- No.
- So how was school today? - Still bad.
About your allergy medication?
- Uh-huh? - Wasn't one of the possible
side effects short-term memory loss?
- Yeah. So how was school today?
[knocking]
- Come in. - Hey, guys.
- Hey, is that a new shirt? - Yeah.
- Nice. - Thanks.
You've been on iCarly.com today.
- No, why?
- Over a hundred thousand comments in the past 24 hours.
- A hundred thousand?
- Yeah, almost all of 'em about the fight.
- Let me guess. Carly's a chicken.
Carly's lame. Carly's a coward.
- Most of 'em weren't that nice.
- Ugh!
- Is that a new shirt? - Yeah.
- Nice. - Side effect.
- Ah.
[phone ringing]
- Hey.
- Our friend Nevel's been busy.
- Ugh, now what?
- Go to nevelocity.com. - Go to nevelocity.com.
- Uh-oh.
- So how was school today? - Awesome.
Thanks for asking. Well, what's on Nevelocity?
- This.
- Carly Shay has embarrassed herself yet again
by chickening out of her fight with Shelby Marx.
Oh, well, at least you can watch this animated video
I created showing Carly as she truly is.
Enjoy.
- Is that a new shirt? - Shh!
[clucking]
- Okay, that's enough.
I got to fix this. - How?
- I'm gonna fight Shelby. - You can't.
You smooshed her grandmother. She's gonna kill you.
- Maybe not if I talk to her. - So how was school today?
- It blew up, okay! - Jeez.
- And my friend Sam told me I was supposed to trash talk.
And then when everyone started yelling and shoving...
I got pushed into your grandmother
and then we both just fell over onto that podium thing.
- Are you sure? - Absolutely.
- Finish him.
- So what are you saying?
- I'm saying I'm really sorry I fell on your grandmother,
but it was an accident.
- Okay, I believe you.
I'm sorry I got all in your face.
- So, the fight. - You want to do it?
- Promise you're not mad at me anymore?
- I promise. - And after the fight,
my face will look pretty much just like this?
- Yeah, I'll go easy, no worries.
- Okay. - So we're on, Saturday night.
- Saturday night. - I'll let the press know.
- Does anyone have any aspirin?
- ♪ Sometimes you like to play ♪
♪ And, baby, sometimes I walk away ♪
♪ And it's the same thing every single day ♪
♪ But that's life, and that's love to me anyway ♪
♪ 'Cause baby, at the same time you make it so right ♪
[doorbell rings]
- It's open. - Hey.
- Hey! - Hola!
- You got my text. - Yeah, why are we celebrating?
- The fight is on. - No way.
- Yeah. I told Shelby that I never meant to knock
her grandmother down and she totally understood.
So we made up and the fight's back on.
- And she said, she'll go easy on you,
she's not gonna pound your face in?
- No. She has promised to leave my face just like this.
- Which is why we are celebrating.
- With my not really famous,
but magically delicious spaghetti taco!
[all cheering]
- Some spaghetti for Carly's taco.
- Gracias. - De nada. And some for Sam.
- Quickly. - No, relax. Argh!
Ah.
- How come you flung Sam's spaghetti against the door?
- I just had, like, a muscle spasm.
- Wasn't that another possible side effect
from your allergy pills?
- Oh, yeah, I think you're right.
- You're gonna be okay?
- Yeah, now that I know what's going on,
I can probably control it.
I can't control it.
- So the two girls made up
and have agreed to go forward with the fight.
- So now, Shelby and Carly are friends.
Oh, that just won't do, will it, Mr. Tibbles?
Looks like Nevel has some work to do.
All right, here we have
Carly and Sam at the press conference.
So now, we just need to add some sound,
which I can steal from their web show.
- Tell 'em what you did. - Well, I went down
to see my grandmother and I took her
to Raging Rapids waterpark.
- And made her go down the mega slide.
- Mm, yes.
I had to push her, but when she got down to the bottom,
she was screaming. "Again, again!"
- And now with a few audio tricks.
[rewinding audio whirs]
- Push her.
Grandmother.
Down. - We can make Sam say...
[uneven audio] - Push her grandmother down.
Push her. Grandmother. Down.
Push her grandmother down.
- That's better. Now watch. - [grunting softly]
- We clickie, we draggie.
- Push her grandmother down. - I'll do it.
- Wait till Shelby Marx sees this.
- Nevel, do you have a porcupine in there?
- No, mother. Shh!
- Okay, now give me an elbow strike here.
- Hey, Shelby. - What's up?
- This kid says he has something important
to talk to you about. - Indeed I do.
- Okay, what's so important?
- It's about Carly Shay attacking your grandmother.
- Oh, she didn't really attack her.
It was just an accident. - Was it?
Maybe you should see this.
Now Shelby, this clip is from last week's press conference.
I was able to boost the audio,
so you can hear what Carly and Sam are saying.
- Okay.
- So what should I do? - Push her grandmother down.
- I'll do it.
- Unbelievable. - So it wasn't an accident.
- Obviously not. I suppose you're pretty angry.
- Uh-huh.
- And I bet you're gonna punch
and kick Carly extra powerfully.
- Yeah, I am. - Who could blame you?
- Let's go, Gary. - Oh, no.
- Hello, fight fans,
and welcome to the Seattle Supercenter.
- Tonight in the octagon, CFC phenom,
Shelby Marx will be battling it out
with internet sensation Carly Shay
from the popular web show "iCarly."
- I'm being told that Carly Shay
has just emerged from her dressing room
and is making way up here to the octagon right now.
[cheers and applause]
- So far no sign of Shelby Marx--
- Whoa, here she comes.
[crowd chanting "Shelby!"]
- Yep, and she definitely has a lot of fans here tonight.
- Whew, check out that game face.
- Wow. - She looks pretty intense.
- Yeah. Hi, Shelby, hey.
- She looks pretty cheesed off.
- I thought you made up with her.
- I did. She's just acting all tough for the crowd.
Here, I'll do it too.
- Hey, Shelby! [growls]
- Pretty scary.
- Hey, guys. - Hi.
- Gibby! - Gib, Gib, Gib.
- Man, the popcorn here is awesome.
- Ah! So...
- I'll go get another one. - I'll go with you.
- Bring me back a root beer.
- Shelby Marx, the reigning CFC champion.
- Hey, check out who's sitting over there.
- Oh, wow, Sir Mix-a-Lot.
- No, in the front row.
- Nevel? - Gross.
[cheers and applause]
- Oh, hello iCarly, fancy meeting you here.
- What are you doing here?
- Yeah, Papperman. - Well, I heard Carly
was going to be fighting Shelby Marx,
and I thought this would be a wonderful opportunity for me
to watch you bleed and cry.
- Sorry, but this is just an exhibition match.
- Just for fun. [bell dings]
- Oop, ding ding ding. I think that's for you.
Run along.
- The Seattle Supercenter welcomes you
to this exhibition match between CFC champion
Shelby Marx and Carly Shay, who has a web show.
- And here comes the main event.
[whistle blows]
- Okay, you're up, kid.
- Have fun out there.
- All right make us proud, remember, ah!
- Dude, not cool. - Sorry.
- You better get out there. - Okay.
- And here we go.
- Hi.
- Okay, ladies, this is the main event.
It's showtime.
Let's give the millions of fans watching a good fight.
Go back to your corners
and let's get ready to rock 'n' roll.
- Cool. Hey Shelby,
after the fight, you want to go get some smoothies
with me, Sam and Freddie?
Oh.
- You ready? - Uh-huh.
- Mouth open.
- Okay, kiddo, go out there and have fun.
- I will.
- Now remember, since this is just an exhibition match,
it's only scheduled for one three-minute round.
- But no one has ever lasted a full round with Shelby Marx,
so I doubt that even matters.
- Well, thanks for making me feel stupid, Marvin.
- Fighter, are you ready? - You got this, Shelby!
Fighter, are you ready? - Love you, Carly!
[whistle blows] - Fight!
- C'mon Shelby. - Come on, Shelby.
- This is kind of fun, whoo!
[imitates grunting, laughs]
Oh, that was kind of close.
It's almost like you're actually--ah!
[cheers and applause]
Ow!
Time-out.
- Time-out? - No time-outs!
- You can't call a time-out. - Well, I just did!
- We have an unofficial time out.
- Okay, that girl is trying to kill me.
- I thought she was gonna go easy on you.
- That's what she said.
- I don't know what she's doing.
- Let's go, Shay. - Come on, Carly.
- You got it! - You can do it.
- Come on! - Come on! Take her down!
- Beat her face off!
- Hi, Shelby, remember how you promised to go easy on me
and not really hit--
[slow-motion scream, whining]
- Let go, Carly. Let go of her leg.
- Shay, hanging on to the left leg of the champion.
Very unusual.
- What's she doing?
- I don't think we've seen this technique before.
- Let go of my leg.
- Never. - Hang on to her leg.
- Don't let go! - Never let go!
- Come on! - Hang on!
- Carly! - Stick with her!
- Marx, trying to shake Shay off her leg.
But Shay is hanging on for dear life.
- Is she allowed to do this? - I don't know.
- Will someone pry this girl off my leg so I can punch her?
- Marx getting frustrated.
- Carly, only ten seconds left in the round.
- Hang on, kiddo!
- Okay!
- [shouting indistinctly]
- Eight more seconds and Carly Shay will be the first girl
to ever last a full round with Shelby Marx.
- In five, four, three, two, one.
[bell dings]
- Yeah! - That's a foul!
Isn't that a foul?
- [screaming]
- And there goes Carly Shay, running away, screaming.
- Oh, hey, you got some more.
- Carly. - Carly?
- I don't know where she is, check there. - Oh, man. - Carly?
- Definitely not down there. - Come on, I don't know.
- Well, what if she went-- - Guys, over here.
- Hey. Nice fighting. - Oh, I can't believe it.
- You rocked. That was amazing. - You were awesome.
You didn't throw one punch or kick and you looked
like a total spaz out there, but you lasted a whole round
with a top notch professional fighter.
Way to be, kid. That was awesome.
[excited, indistinct chatter]
- Hey, why's everyone getting all--[screams]
- What do you want? - To talk to Carly.
I want to ask her why--
- Oh.
I'm so sorry. Oof!
Oh! Ow!
[unevenly] I'm going to go wait in the car.
- What happened tonight?
You promised you were gonna go easy on me.
- You promised it was an accident
when you tackled my grandmother.
- It was. - Don't lie.
I saw a video and heard you and Sam planning to do it.
- What video? - We never planned it.
- Are you dating anyone? Oof!
- All I know is that some kid came to my gym
and played me a video showing you guys
at the press conference talking about
how you were gonna push my grandmother down.
- What kid?
- I don't know, about this tall.
Our age, round head, polite, but super creepy.
- Nevel. - Now I get it.
- Nevel must have made a fake video.
- That little nub.
- Maybe he is still here. - Go check it out.
- Right.
- Nevel's head is kind of round.
- Like a melon. - Yeah.
- Just let me go, I mean it, Freddie Benson. I have rights.
You cannot legally drag me here against my will
or I will drag you into the courthouse.
I will see you there!
- All right, I let go. Gibby, lights.
- Lights.
- Okay, Freddie, I'm not scared of you.
- That's cool.
- Hello, Nevel. - I'm not scared of you either.
- 'Sup Nevel? - Okay, you, I'm scared of.
- Just admit it. - Admit what?
- That you tricked Shelby Marx with some fake video.
- That made it look like I meant
to tackle her grandmother. - Ah! I did no such thing.
Okay, I tricked Shelby.
So?
- Hi, Nevel. - Oh, dear.
Oh, okay, okay. What are you going to do?
Ladies, my pants are very expensive.
[screams]
- Okay, now, most of you guys probably watched
Carly fight Shelby Marx on TV a few nights ago.
- But now Shelby and I are actually really good friends.
- What, you don't believe that?
- You think I'm lying? - Well, well.
- We'll just have to prove it. - Get out here Shelby!
- Ow! Yeah! - Come here.
- All right. - Come here.
- No hug for the technical producer?
- Oh, come here, Freddie.
- [sniffs]
I'm sorry. - Now, how can you be sure
Shelby is really our new best bud.
- Well, only best buds would do super slow motion
spit takes together. - With grape juice.
- While a powerful fan blows our hair back.
- Let's do it. - Let's do it.
- We're doing it.
- Okay, let's get in real close here, nice pretty shot.
- Okay. - Okay.
- And ready, go.
- Okay that's it for this "iCarly."
- Till next time...
- Whoo!
[rock music playing]
♪ ♪
- Hi, watch me feed baby Spencer some salsa.
- [silly voice] Wah, baby want salsa!
- There you go! There you go! - Oh, yummy.
Baby want to do iCarly.com dance.
- Okay. Dance, baby.
- ♪ Go to iCarly.com ♪
♪ Go to iCarly.com ♪
♪ iCarly.com ♪
[bell rings] - Mmm.