[MUSIC PLAYING]
CARLY: We're back!
OK.
-Here's another question we got at iCarly.com which says--
-Last night, I dreamt that Gibby could fly.
Could you guys please make my dream come true?
Yes.
-Ready, Gibbles?
-Call it.
BOTH: Fly!
-Whee!
I'm a bird!
Ha ha!
-Oh my god.
-Look at him fly.
Gibby's flying.
-Ha ha.
Whee!
Ha ha!
Ah!
[GROANING]
-Now, Freddie's going to say something.
-Hey there.
Let's chat while Carly and Sam safely drag Gibby away.
So how you been?
I like baseball.
-You tell your mother you tripped
and fell down the stairs.
-Understood.
-OK.
-We're back.
-Oh, Gibby's fine.
-Not really.
-And that's it for iCarly tonight.
-That is not it.
-Yep.
Come on!
-What is this, another intervention?
-No.
-Uh-huh.
-We're here to congratulate my best friend Sam--
- --because she hasn't got into any kind of trouble--
- --zero trouble--
BOTH: --for 10 whole days!
-It's true!
And it's first time that's happened since I was four.
-Well, we invited a very special guest
to come here today and give you a very special reward.
-Who?
BOTH: The Mayor of Seattle!
-Who refused our invitation.
-So please welcome the fake Mayor of Seattle--
BOTH: Mayor Mustachio!
-Ha ha ha ha!
Greetings, ye citizens!
Samantha Puckett, as fake mayor of Seattle,
I shall grab my lapel as I hereby,
henceforth, hither to and fro--
-Yeah.
Yeah.
What do I get?
-Sam, for going 10 full days without getting
into any trouble, I present to you this box of raisins.
-OK.
-This bag I got from a dog walker.
-Oh, still warm.
-And this movie directed by David Schwimmer.
-Also still warm.
-And, this.
-What's th-- no way.
Shut up!
-We shall not shut up!
-Tell the fans what you got.
-Yes!
"Sam Puckett, this ticket is good for a VIP tour
of the Canadian Fat Cake Factory."
-Canadian Fat Cakes aren't even allowed in America.
-And I've heard they're like way better than American Fat Cakes.
-What do you have to say about this, Mayor Mustaschio?
-I say my mayor trousers are too tight in the crotch!
-That's charming.
-Ew.
-Didn't need to know that.
-Brilliant.
-Oh.
-Ew.
-OK.
-Gah!
FREDDIE (VOICEOVER): In five, four, three, two--
THEME SONG: I know you see somehow the world will
change for me, and be so wonderful.
Live life, breathe air, I know somehow we're
gonna get there, and feel so wonderful.
It's all for real.
I'm telling you just how I feel.
So wake up the members of my nation.
It's your time to be.
There's no chance unless you take one,
and the time to see the brighter side of every situation.
Some things are meant to be, so give me your best
and leave the rest to me.
Leave it all to me.
Just leave it all to me.
-Why are you bringing a big suitcase?
We're just going to Canada for the day.
-Yeah.
So I brought some hair care products,
uh, some extra batteries, a change of underpants.
That a problem?
-No.
-That's what I thought.
-Come on, guys.
We gotta hit the road.
-We don't have to be at the Fat Cake Factory til 1:00.
-Yeah, but it's a two hour drive.
We've got to go through security at the border.
-Why?
It's not like Canada's a different country.
-Yes.
It is.
-I thought it was like Idaho.
-Idaho's a state in our country.
-Look, I don't need a lecture.
-You sure you're not gonna come?
-I want to, but I already bailed on Lance twice,
and he's really cool.
And if I bail again, he's gonna think I don't like him,
and I really do like him.
Besides, I haven't kissed a guy in four months.
I'm getting itchy.
-What time's your date?
-Handsome Lance is picking me up at 5 o'clock-- with his car.
-So what are you gonna do til then?
-Probably take a long hot bath, and I'll blow my hair out.
Maybe I'll do my nails--
-Bye.
MALE SPEAKER 1 (ON TV): And if you've seen this dirt bag,
call our toll-free hotline at--
MALE SPEAKER 2 (ON TV): Next, on the Dingo Channel,
she sings, he dances!
And they're both identical twin ninjas.
So stay tuned for "Twinjas."
GIRL (ON TV): You think I purposely got the Peruvian Puff
Peppers knowing you'd still--
-Seen it.
LAURA PETRIE (ON TV): Rob, I'm not stuck.
My foot is!
-Yay.
The Vintage Network.
MALE SPEAKER 3 (ON TV): Yeah.
Uh, let me have the foot.
LAURA PETRIE (ON TV): It's stuck.
MALE SPEAKER 3 (ON TV): Other one.
-Come on.
A lady can't get her big toe stuck in a faucet.
LAURA PETRIE (ON TV): What for?
MALE SPEAKER 3 (ON TV): Tell me, is
that toe similar to the one that's stuck in the pipe?
LAURA PETRIE (ON TV): Well of course it is.
Why?
MALE SPEAKER 3 (ON TV): Wouldn't want
to nip off any of this little piggy.
-Man, sit-coms are so much better now.
MALE SPEAKER 3 (ON TV): That's the one that went to market.
-In.
Out.
Duh.
In.
Out.
In.
Ou-- No.
No!
Stupid overly-realistic sitcoms.
OK.
Just-- just gotta stay calm.
I've got tons of time before Lance gets here.
Just gotta be calm.
Sooner or later, someone will come in here,
help me get my toe unstuck, and-- and see me naked!
My sweatshirt.
Hey.
TOUR GUIDE: Here in Canada, we produce
over 65% of the world's Fat Cakes.
SAM: Thank you, Canada.
-Now this is one of our central Fat Cake production areas.
In just this room alone, over 95,000 Fat Cakes
are injected with cream and sent through for packaging
every day.
-What do you think of that?
-I think they're beautiful.
Momma's home!
-Oh.
Aw.
She really likes Fat Cakes.
-Yes.
You all are from America, right?
-USA!
-Estados Unidos.
-Gibby.
-Well have you ever tried a Canadian Fat Cake?
-No sir.
-Cause our intrusive federal government made them illegal!
-Are Canadian Fat Cakes as magical as people say?
-Magicler.
-What makes them so amazing?
-They're made with pure cane fat.
-Right.
In America, we use corn fat.
-I am the tour guide!
I say the words!
-Sorry.
-Wow, angry Canadian.
-You don't see that very often.
-Now, which of you Americans would
like to be the first to try a Canadian Fat Cake?
-Hey, I wouldn't mind being the-- Ah!
Oh!
-May I?
-OK, Sam.
Take a bite and--
-Shut up!
I need to focus.
Oh.
Oh!
-It's really good, huh?
-It's so much better than good.
It's-- Ah!
It's like eating a fat angel!
-OK.
I just gotta get my PearPhone, and then I can call for help.
I'm coming for you, phone.
I do throw like a girl.
OK.
A little more sauce on this one.
I'll put a little less sauce on this one.
-OK.
Are you Americans ready to inject some Fat Cakes?
-I am!
-Yes!
-So what's in these bags?
-We call them fat bags.
Each one contains two kilos of our creamy filling.
Now, you just insert the nozzle--
-Insert the nozzle--
- --into the Fat Cake--
- --and then--
BOTH: --squeeze the sack--
- --until the Fat Cake--
-I'm going to need another fat bag.
-All right.
Come on.
I've hit everything else.
Yes!
Good throw, me.
And now-- there it is.
Now come to Carly.
Easy.
Remember how cute Lance is.
And-- gotcha!
OK.
Now I just call Wendy, tell her to come over,
and-- well, there's no app for that.
-Come on.
Let's just drive across the border and go home.
-We can't.
It's illegal to cross the border without letting these people
check our stuff and our passports--
-Blah blah blah blah.
-I know you have a crush on me.
-What?
-Nothing.
-So if Idaho wanted to be its own country, could it?
-I guess they could try, but it'd
probably start another civil war.
-War?
War is whack.
-Well said, my friend.
-Canadian Fat Cake?
-Gibby, you gotta get rid of that.
-Is that a Canadian Fat Cake?
-Yeah.
I got a few of them.
-Dude, you can't bring those across the border into America.
-They're illegal in the US.
-OK.
-Now throw them away.
-Before you make these border cops suspicious!
-I get it.
-You guys, come get in line.
-Whoa, large dog.
[GROWLING]
-Whoa.
Uh, oh, OK.
Uh, good dog.
Go-- go on now.
Nothing to smell here.
-Miss, are you crossing the border into America?
-Uh--
-Excuse me, is there a problem with these kids,
who may or may not be with me?
-Are you crossing the border into America?
-Yeah.
I'm about to.
Go on now, puppy.
Shoo!
Uh, he probably just smells my dog on me.
-You don't have a dog.
-I will hurt you with a brick.
-Check her coat. What-- no, no no no.
No need to check my coat.
I appreciate your concern.
That's--
-Fat Cakes.
-What?
Let go of me.
Seriously!
Spencer?
Spencer!
-OK.
That's all the Fat Cakes she had on her.
-Look at that.
It's got to be 25 kilos.
What did you plan to do with all these Fat Cakes?
-Well, moustache, I was gonna put them in my face,
chew them a little, send them on a trip down to my stomach,
and I think we all know what would've
happened to them after that.
-Now a sip for you.
-Dogs really like you.
-Yeah.
Dogs and girls with low self-esteem.
-Are you Ms. Puckett's guardian?
-Ah.
Well, actually I'm her attorney.
You know, lawyer.
-You're a lawyer?
-Are you gonna check?
-No.
-Yeah, I'm a lawyer.
And I demand to know why my client is being detained.
-Because she attempted to smuggle over 100 Canadian Fat
Cakes across the border into the United States,
which is illegal.
-Oh.
-And she-- she called me a dumb whaz-bag.
-I object.
-So did I. I don't even know what a whaz-bag is.
-Well, if you had a bag, and you, you know,
needed to whaz, then the, uh--
-He doesn't need to know.
-Come on.
Please let me go home.
I'm just a sweet little girl who got caught up with a bad crowd.
-How did you get those handcuffs off?
-Just a trick I learned in juvie.
-I demand that Ms. Puckett be released
on the grounds that-- Section C.
-If you'll shut up, we will release her.
-But I-- say what?
-You're really gonna let me go?
-That's right.
-So basically you hassled me for nothing.
See, this is the kind of--
-Oh!
My client accepts your terms and will now happily shut her face!
-Uh, uh, no.
They harassed me-- -Shut!
Her!
Ffff-- ace!
-Just go over there, show your IDs,
and you can all enter the United States.
-Come on.
-Gibby.
FEMALE SPEAKER (ON INTERCOM): Please
have a valid passport or US driver's licence available.
-That's you?
-Yeah, I know.
The long hair was a bad call.
-Hey.
-(GIGGLING) Fredward.
Go ahead.
-Thank you.
-You're on iCarly, right?
-Ah.
You know, I also write a blog about card tricks.
-Gibby, come on.
-How come no one asks about my blog?
-Passport?
-I don't have a passport.
-Do you have a driver's licence?
-A real one?
-Yes.
-No.
-School ID?
-Threw it at a bird.
-Library card?
-Ha!
Who is this guy.
(MOCKINGLY) A library card, ha.
-You can't re-enter America unless you
can prove you're a US citizen.
-Dude, I promise she is.
-Can't you just ask her some questions so she can prove it?
-Fine.
Who was the first US president?
The father of our country?
-Abraham Franklin?
-Yeah.
That's not it?
-Help!
Help!
I have a cute date in less than 30 minutes!
Help!
Helfen Mir!
-Nah, I'm just ironing Freddie's underwear.
No, we're not renting bowling shoes.
Because I refuse to put my feet in public footwear.
Oh, that spray doesn't do anything.
Wait.
I hear something peculiar.
CARLY: Help!
Help!
Assistance!
Anyone!
Please!
A cute boy's gonna be here any minute,
and I'm all wrinkled like an elderly raisin!
Oh, this day could not get worse.
-Ah!
It's you.
-Mrs. Benson!
-Will you stop banging and screaming?
I heard you all the way in my apartment.
-That was the point.
-Oh.
You bathe in your sweatshirt, too?
I thought I was the only one.
-I don't bathe in my sweatshirt.
I got my toe stuck in the faucet.
-How?
-I saw some dumb person do it on "The Dick Van Dyke Show."
Come on.
Could you please just help me get it out?
-All right.
I'll give it a yank.
Ready?
-OK.
Just be really careful, OK?
-Ah!
-Ow!
-Ah!
-Ow!
-Ah!
-Ow!
-Ah!
-Ow!
-Am I hurting you?
-No!
I love it!
-Hey.
Is everything all right?
-Lance!
-Sorry.
I heard screaming, so I thought I should come up.
-Put your hands down! down!
Who's the boy?
-My date.
-Hey.
-Hey!
-Oh man.
This is bad.
-Yeah, for you.
-Me?
-You're the adult.
You're the one who brought Sam to Canada
and now can't get her back home.
-I know.
I'd be in serious trouble if she had a parent who cared.
-True.
But still, we gotta figure--
-OK, ha ha.
Let's get across that border and head home.
-Dude!
-We're not just gonna leave Sam in Canada.
-Shh!
We're not going to leave her.
-Are we across the border yet?
-Not yet.
-Well hurry!
-OK.
Let's go.
-Yeah.
-Oh my gosh! It's Gibby!
Can I have your autograph?
Please please please?
-Uh.
Here it goes again.
-Hurry.
Just do it.
-Yes!
-Uh, you know, I'm part of iCarly, too.
-You are?
-Yeah.
I work the camera, do the--
-Oh, awesome!
Here.
Take a pic of me with Gibby.
Hold these, please.
Gibby!
-I don't take my shirt off anymore.
-You should.
Kids love it.
-All right.
In five, four, three, two, click.
SAM: Gibby?
-OK. Let's get outta here.
-Grab Sam.
Let's go.
-Oh.
Sam's light.
-Come on.
-USA!
ALL: USA!
USA!
-Come on, really?
-It's true.
-Your sister's 18 and she doesn't
have her driver's licence?
-Nope.
-That's so sad.
-Yeah.
She's lame.
But you know who's not lame?
-Who?
-You.
-Ah.
You're not lame, too.
-Well, if you two are going to kiss, go on and do it
before I fire up this power saw.
Ah.
That's nice.
Just yell if I hit bone!
FLIGHT ATTENDANT (ON INTERCOM): Thank
you for flying Air Malaysia.
We will be landing shortly.
SAM: Freddie!
Spencer!
Gibby!
Are we still in Canada?
-We've thought of a new way for you
to waste time on the internet.
-See if you can listen to the following 22 words--
-22 words--
- --in random order--
- --random order--
- --then see if you can put the words in the right order--
- --the right order--
- --to form a popular phrase.
-Never--
- --squeeze--
- --a--
- --big--
- --zit--
- --in--
- --the--
- --coffee--
- --of--
- --your--
- --neighbour--
- --because--
- --very--
- --few--
- --people--
- --enjoy--
- --tasting--
- --pimple--
- --juice--
- --in--
- --their--
- --beverages.
BOTH: Thank you.