-OK.
So we need a big bucket, a large bag of baby peacock feathers.
-Oh.
I already ordered the baby peacock feathers.
-Nice.
And a nail gun.
Sam, you're getting the nail gun?
[SNORING]
-Sam.
Wake up.
-What?
What?
-We're doing a web show tomorrow night.
-ICarly?
-Yes, iCarly.
Now would you wake up and help us?
-She never helps.
-At least I don't take nine hours
to "properly prepare" one slice of pizza.
-Pizza requires a precision balance of red pepper flakes,
Parmesan cheese, and garlic powder.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
-I got it!
Hello?
Do I sound like a Rosalinda?
Adios!
Hey, that pizza looks good.
-Yours.
-Mm.
[CHOMPING NOISES]
-So what you teeners up to?
-We're trying to plan for tomorrow night's iCarly.
-I see.
And why the chizzy attitude?
-Because the show's getting more popular.
-It's getting to be a tonne of work.
-It really is exhausting.
Disaster
-But why don't you guys just hire an intern?
-What's an intern?
-Like an assistant that works for free.
-Wait.
Would it bathe me?
I like being clean.
I just don't like all the--
-Why would anyone work for free?
-Interns are students.
They work to get high school or college credit.
-So how do we get one?
-Just post an ad on SniffMeAJob.com.
You'll get a tonne of responses.
It's weird.
This pizza tastes like shoe bottom.
-Isn't that a kind of bread?
-That's ciabatta.
-That monkey from "Galaxy Wars."
-No.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
-Oh man.
It's granddad.
Hey, Grandad.
-Tell him I say hey.
-Carly says she hates you.
I'm just kidding.
-This couch is too crowded.
-OK.
Here's a category for students in high school and college
seeking work in television, film, or web production.
I'm going to post an ad.
-Yeah.
Yeah, Grandad, I am a man of my word.
Yes.
I'll let you know.
Old scudder.
-Why are you mad at Granddad?
-Because when I dropped down of law school a few years ago,
I made him a stupid promise.
-That you'd dress up like a lady on the 4th of July?
-No.
-Will you anyway?
-No!
-What'd you promise him?
-That if I didn't get one of my sculptures
in a real museum within three years,
I'd go back to law school.
-When's the three years up?
-Next week!
God, I can't go back to law school.
It was the worst 72 hours of my life.
-Worse than the time those biker dudes took you down?
[YELLING]
FREDDIE: In five, four, three, two.
THEME SONG: I know you see, somehow the world will
change for me and be so wonderful.
Live life, breathe air.
I know somehow we're going to get
there and feel so wonderful.
It's all for real.
I'm telling you just how I feel, so wake
up the members of my nation.
It's your time to be.
There's no chance unless you take one,
and the time to see the brighter side of every situation.
Some things are meant to be so give your best
and leave the rest to me.
Leave it all to me.
Just leave it all to me.
-So my name is Stu Verneman, I'm 16 years old,
and I would love to work here at iCarly as an intern.
-Bye.
-But I've only been here for 20 seconds.
-20 too many.
-Let's go, Stu.
-But I didn't even get a chance. -Get up.
Come on.
No, no.
-Can I at least finish the story about my baseball hat?
Oh, come on.
I would be perfect for this job.
-Yeah, yeah.
We'll keep your resume on file.
-Do you have to be so obnoxious?
-You've got to be more patient with these people.
You can't just cut them off in the middle of a--
-OK.
-Irony.
-Seriously, I'm obsessed with this web show,
and I would sincerely love to serve
you in an internship capacity.
Now, I don't know if you guys are into cotton swabs
and white glue as much as I am, but I--
-Get out of here!
-Carly.
-Dude.
-It's OK.
This always happens.
-So, um, in your email, you said you've done some video editing.
-Yeah.
I'm pretty good with Cutting Room Flow.
-Nice.
That's what I use to edit.
-Nice.
-Aw.
Nerd bonding.
-Sam.
-Nah, nah, it's cool.
I definitely have my nerdy tech side.
-And you made this fudge yourself?
-Yeah.
I love making fudge for people.
-Well OK, Brad.
We're just going to talk it over and probably call you tomorrow.
-Hey, no rush.
Thanks, guys.
-I'll show you to the door.
CARLY: Bye.
-Later.
-OK.
He'd be a perfect intern for iCarly.
-I love that guy.
-Do we even need to meet anyone else?
-No.
-Wait.
There's still one more guy waiting outside.
-And on the day before I started seventh grade,
my dad said to me.
He goes, Cort, you've got to learn
how to tie your own shoes.
It's important.
And now I can tie my own shoes without even thinking about it.
-That is such a sweet story.
-You are so good looking.
-I was about to say that.
-Well.
-Thank you, Cort.
You can go now.
-Go where?
-Wherever you came from.
We've already decided who we're going to hire.
-We sure have.
-Congratulations, Cort.
-What?
-Wait.
What's happening?
-You got the job.
-Sam!
-I did?
-Yeah!
-What about Brad's fudge?
Remember the fudge?
-Hey Cort, are you a good dancer?
-The goodest.
-Show us!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-Excuse me.
-What are you doing?
-Oh.
Um, I'm Spencer Shay.
It's OK.
I'm an artist.
-Yeah.
I've heard of you.
-Awesome.
Um, I just need to set up this sculpture right here.
-I'm sorry, but you can't do that.
-Listen, I made a deal with my granddad
that if I don't get a sculpture displayed in this museum
by this Friday that I go back to law school,
and I can't do that.
-Look, Spencer, I'm a fan of your work
and I'd love for you to be represented in this museum.
-Yay.
-But--
-Oh.
-To get a sculpture in here, you have to fill out
an application, have it examined and approved by the board
of curators, get authorisation from--
-Ugh.
How long does all that take?
-Three, maybe four months.
-No, no, no, no, no.
Please, just let me leave here for a few days.
-I can't.
-Wait.
What if I take you to dinner, like a real date?
That's got to sound good to you.
-Roy!
-No Roy.
Oh god, no.
Ow!
-You can't bring that in here.
-It's cool.
It'll fit right in.
I worked hard on it.
-ICarly goes live in 90 seconds.
-Hey!
I brought you girls some lemonade.
-Ah.
-Thanks, Cort.
-How sweet are you?
-You brought lemonade in a bag?
-Is that wrong?
-Well--
-No, it is not wrong.
-You leave Cort alone.
-It's adorable.
-Whatever.
Hey Cort, I need to see those notes you took.
-Sure, bud.
Got 'em right here on this PearPad.
-Cort.
You wrote with a marker on my PearPad?
-Carly said I should use it to write notes on.
-This thing costs $800.
-Dude, that's insane.
You can get these for $1.
-No.
It hurts.
-12 seconds to show.
Hold my beverage bag.
-Sure thing.
-In five, four, three, two--
-On!
-Once upon a time, there was a Carly.
-Who met a wandering freak named Sam.
-And then one day--
-The two girls drank from a filthy bucket--
-And thus was born iCarly.
-Filthy bucket.
-I'm working.
-OK.
-Gibby, get out here.
-Come on, Gibby.
Gibby!
-There he is.
-We were wondering, how many baby peacock
feathers can fit in Gibby's mouth?
-Even I want to know.
-All right, Gibby.
Open wide.
-Fill me with feathers.
CARLY: OK.
Come on.
-Dude!
-What happened?
-Our genius intern just murdered my laptop.
-Are we still webcasting?
-No.
We died. -Look, I'll clean it up.
-You can't.
Now can we fire that artichoke?
-Maybe we should fire him.
-Yeah, I guess we should--
-You know, everyone deserves a second chance.
-Cort deserves unlimited chances!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 99, 100.
-Good job, Cort.
-I told you you could jump and count at the same time.
-I just had to believe in myself.
-You guys want to see me do it?
-No.
-Sit down.
-So, you guys got any iCarly stuff I should work on?
-Oh yeah.
Sam and I wrote up a list of things
we need you to get for the show.
-Cool.
-Something wrong?
-Um, this first thing on this list.
I don't know where to get a todo.
-No, sweetie.
That says "to do."
-Oh.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-Knocker, knocker.
-Hey, Freddie. -What up, Benson?
-How's it going?
-Who's your lady friend there?
-This is Ashley, the new intern I hired for iCarly.
-What?
-Ashley.
-Freddie.
You can't just hire a new intern without our OK.
-You guys hired Cort without my OK.
-Well, one intern's enough.
-It doesn't cost anything to hire Ashley,
so what does it matter to you--
-Hey Freddie, someone left this purse lying around.
Is there a lost and found I should take it to?
-Um, that's my purse.
[GASPS]
-You must have been so worried.
-No.
It was right there on my bed.
-I have a bed.
-Got one, too.
-Rock on!
-What is going on here?
-Dude, you just hired that chick because she's hot.
-You fire, Cort I'll fire Ashley.
-Dude, am I going to give you an attitude
adjustment because I swear--
GIBBY: Ow!
-What happened?
-She whacked me with an umbrella.
-He was touching your purse.
-I just wanted some fruit gum.
-Fruit gum.
Going on the "toe doe" list.
-Hey, Freddie.
-Hey.
Hey, could you guys help me with the tripod?
It's back over there in the back--
-There's our special guy.
-There he is.
-What's up, ladies?
-Hi.
[KISSING NOISES]
-What you working on there?
-I'm just checking this thing out for Freddie.
-Aw.
-Hi.
-Hey, Ashley.
-Um, whose baby is that?
-Oh.
When I walked into the lobby, your gross doorman
was talking to some lady and this baby was just
sitting in a stroller right behind her.
-So you just took the baby?
-Yeah.
He's cute like a monkey.
Meow, meow.
-You take the baby down to his mother.
You come with me.
-Oh.
And what do I do?
-Nothing.
-Are you going to fire that dumb intern?
-You mean Cort?
-You know who I mean, your-- that-- that femin-idiot.
-I'll fire my femin-idiot when you fire your him-becile.
-OK.
That was clever word play, but I am not
firing Cort because he is beautiful.
-Well, Ashley is super hot.
-Ugh.
-This got bad fast.
-Hey!
Hey, young man.
-How you doing?
-No flash photography.
-Oh.
Sorry.
-Dude!
-What's up?
-Can you not read this sign?
No flash photography.
What the heck is wrong with you?
-I guess you've got to chase me now.
-Are you supposed to be doing that?
[YELLING]
-And then I say, um, "OK, next on iCarly before we
shave Gibby--"
-I'm back.
-Good.
I'm starving.
-Where's our lunch?
-What do you mean?
-We told you to go get lunch.
-I did.
It was yummy.
-So you didn't bring us any?
-Any what?
-Go sit on the floor over there.
-Yay!
-You need to fire her.
-(MOCKING VOICE) But everyone deserves a second chance.
-Freddie, I--
-You guys fire Cort, I'll fire Ashley.
-No deal.
-Cort's too pretty to fire.
Let's just finished rehearsing.
-Scudder.
-Um, It's time for a--
-Raw meat storm.
[CHEERING]
-Oh.
Um, let's test the meat drop.
-Queuing the meat.
[CHEERING]
-Oh.
Oh, the meat-erologist was right.
-It's a meat storm.
-Wait.
There's no steak on this line or this one.
-Well, I put up all 12.
Cort!
You ate our props?
-Was I not supposed to?
-Oh baby, they weren't cooked.
-You've got to fire that dude.
-And you'll fire Ashley?
-Wait a minute.
-Deal.
-But he's--
-It's time.
-I know.
-Spencer!
-Hi!
Grandad!
How was your drive?
-Oh fine, just fine.
So, is one of these sculptures really yours?
-Yes, sir.
If you'll look right here--
-Gibby!
-No running in the museum!
GIBBY: Yarr!
-So if you'll look here, what's this?
A super cool sculpture here in this reputable museum?
What's this placard say?
I'm not wearing my glasses.
I can't--
-The Bottle Bot.
Sculpture by Spencer Shay.
-So that's what it says.
Oh!
And is there a placard around here
that says Spencer's going back to law school?
Hm?
I don't see one of those.
-Fine.
You don't have to go back to law school.
-Yeah!
In your face, you old scudder!
Love you.
-All right, all right.
So since we're here, should we look around a little bit,
maybe see the--
-Yeah.
-Spencer, I told you specifically
that you weren't allowed to--
-Dierdra!
-Who's she?
-Grandad, please.
A little privacy.
-I apologise.
I had to do that.
-Just do it again.
-Yeah.
-I'm fired?
-Yeah, but we'll make sure you get
full internship credit at your college.
-Oh.
I got kicked out of college.
-What for?
-They said I was dangerously stupid.
-Yeah.
-Well, I guess I should go.
-Oh, wait.
Before you go, we're going to need our shirt back.
-That's not our--
-Shh.
-Thank you.
I really appreciate you guys doing--
-Ashley, you're fired, too.
-Get out, Ashley.
-Thank you, Ashley.
-Glad to help.
This was a really interesting experiment.
I can definitely write about this
as part of my sociology thesis.
-What'd she just say?
-Ashley works at the Brilliance Bar in the Pear store.
-You're intelligent?
-Top of my class at Seattle Tech.
-Then why'd you pretend to be a moron?
-So we'd have to fire both our hot yet stupid interns.
-You totally tricked us.
-That is correct.
-Later.
-Bye.
-I feel bad for Cort.
-Why?
-Because he's all dumb and we fired
him and we stole his shirt.
-Yeah.
Well, maybe now at least--
-This is an elevator.
-Aw.
-I'm going home.
-Sam?
-Carly?
-Tell everyone to go to iCarly.com.
-What?
You're-- you're breaking up.
-I said tell everyone to go to iCarly.com.
-You're in love with iCarly.com?
-No.
Well yes, but that's not what I said.
-Hello?
-Just tell everyone that there's lots of new videos.
-New videos?
-Yeah, and new blogs and photos and all kinds of awesome stuff
at iCarly.com.
Make sure everyone goes to iCarly.com.
-Dude, you're breaking up.
-I said tell everyone to go to iCarly.com.
-Hey!
Some girl just grabbed me!