- Legs!
- Pudding!
- Legs!
- Pudding!
- Legs!
- Pudding!
- Legs!
- Pudding!
- Legs!
- Pudding!
- Legs!
- Pudding!
- Legs!
- Pudding!
- Oh, come on, legs are really important.
- I'm not saying
that legs aren't important.
I'm saying they're not as important
as pudding.
- Okay, you're insane.
- Not really.
Without legs, pants would be like,
"duh, now what do we do?"
- Objection. Pants can't talk.
- Why are we swinging?
- I don't know.
- Okay, this random debate is over.
- I won.
- No, we're gonna let the "icarly" viewers
decide who won.
- Fine.
Everyone at icarly.Com,
look at the homepage
and vote on what you think
is more important.
- Legs.
- Or pudding.
- If you don't vote, you don't care.
- Random dancing.
[Music]
- Okay, later.
- Pudding.
- Legs. Vote now.
- Icarly.Com.
- Bye.
- Ciao.
- See you.
- Oh, now, have fun.
- And we're clear.
- Yeah.
- Good show.
- Okay, let's go downstairs
and snack it up.
- You coming?
- Uh, you guys go ahead.
I got some tech stuff to wrap up here.
- You wanna play on the swing?
- Will you push me?
- Yes.
- In five, four, three, two--
* I know, you see *
* somehow the world *
* will change for me *
* and be so wonderful *
* live life, breathe air *
* I know somehow *
* we're gonna get there *
* and feel so wonderful *
* it's all for real *
* I'm telling you *
* just how I feel *
* so, wake up the members *
* of my nation *
* it's your time to be *
* there's no chance *
* unless you take one *
* and the time to see *
* the brighter side *
* of every situation *
* some things are meant to be *
* so give your best *
* and leave the rest to me *
* leave it all to me *
* just leave it all to me *
[music]
- Any votes come in yet?
- Give me a sec.
- You know legs are gonna beat pudding.
- Don't bet on it.
Who wants a snack?
- I'm good.
- Hey, toss me an apple.
- Red or green?
- Red, 'cause green apples always--oh.
- Sorry, I put a little
too much heat on that.
- You see what you did?
- You should've asked for a muffin.
Bring up the votes.
- Oh, looks like we already got
around 12,000 votes
and legs are ahead of pudding
by about 20 percent.
- Ha.
- Idiots.
- Oh, hey, we got a v-mail.
- Who from?
- I don't know.
Someone in england.
- Cool.
- Play it.
- Greetings, "icarly."
My name is Theodore Wilkins.
I'm the vice-chairman of the iweb awards,
an international competition
which seeks out the best web shows
on the Internet.
And I'm very pleased to announce
that our committee has nominated
"icarly" in the category of best comedy.
- Whoa.
- We're nominated for best comedy web show.
- I know, I speak British.
- The iweb awards would like to fly
the "icarly" team overseas
so that your show can compete
at this year's live competition.
All expenses paid, of course.
- This is insane.
- They're gonna fly us overseas.
- I just hope it's not France.
- How come?
- Why?
- 'Cause it's full of French people.
- Oh, yeah.
- True.
- If you accept
your nomination, please click
on the accept button
in the lower left corner of this v-mail.
- Click on it.
- Quick, boy.
- I'm clicking.
- Your invitations, passes
and travel itinerary
will be sent off to you tomorrow.
Congratulations, "icarly."
Will see you at the iweb awards.
- All right.
- Okay, this is the biggest thing
that's ever happened to us.
- By far.
- Ever.
- Oh, check it out.
Way more people are voting
for legs than pudding.
- Told you.
- All I know is
you can't do this with legs.
- Uh, you have a little pudding on your--
- I see it.
[Music]
- You sure you don't mind
if I hang out at your place till dinner?
- Yeah, it's fine.
But don't you think you should go home
and be with your mom?
- What for?
- 'Cause she's in bed with pneumonia?
- I'm not a doctor.
- Excuse me, lewbert.
- What?
I'm busy trimming my wart hairs.
- Yeah.
Um, I was just wondering
if I got a package yet
from the iweb awards?
- No, now quit upsetting my wart.
- Are you sure?
'Cause this guy in england said
he was gonna send it like a week ago.
[Screaming]
- To you too.
[Screaming]
[Music]
- Hey, hey, hey.
Do you think Freddie is home
from school yet?
- Yeah, he got a ride. Why?
- Bet you he's looking through his peephole
waiting for you to get home.
- No, he grew out of that.
- Uh-huh.
[Screaming]
- What's up?
- I was not looking
out my peephole waiting for you
to come home.
- I know you weren't.
- Good.
- Peeper.
- What?
- Okay, why is it dark in here?
- Because-- - oh.
- --I made this.
- Why?
- It's for jogging at night.
This baby puts out over 19,000 lumens.
It can light up a football field.
- For how long?
- Till this battery runs out.
I got it out of a prius.
[Knocking]
- Oh, hi, Mrs. Benson.
- Mom, what are you still doing here?
I thought you left for your pottery class?
- I tried to but my prius wouldn't start.
Anyway, I forgot.
This package addressed
to "icarly" came yesterday.
- Yesterday?
- I'm sorry.
I meant to tell Freddie but--
- oh, just give it.
- Is that from the iweb awards?
- Yup.
- Yeah.
- Come on, what country are we going to?
- Uh--Canada.
- Canada?
- Just kidding.
Tokyo, we're going to Japan.
- Yeah, all right.
- Uh, Freddie, you can let go now.
- Oh, right.
- Sweet.
You know I took a year
of Japanese in college?
A little brush-up I'll be speaking Japanese
like a--japanesiologist.
- Freddie, I'm not sure I can allow this.
- Here we go.
- Mom.
- It's just Japan.
- Right, which is why
I worry that--you know,
the far east can be very--
oh, look, just because
I can't think of anything
right now doesn't mean Japan
isn't fraught with danger.
- Oh, come on, lady.
- It's okay.
I'm going with them
so it's not like they won't have
a responsible adult making sure
everything goes smooth.
- Fire.
- My head, put it out, put it out.
Put it out.
- Towel.
- Please, please, please.
Put it out, put it out.
So, I'll make sure
everything goes smooth in Japan.
- Freddie, you're not going to Japan.
You're coming home with me to take a bath.
- But-- - wait.
Why don't you come to Japan with us?
- Uhhhhh.
- What?
- I don't wanna take a trip
across the world with that mess of a woman.
- Come on, Mrs. Benson, it'll be fun.
What's that?
I think I hear tok-yo calling toki-you.
- Come with us to Japan.
You love Sushi.
- Oh, I suppose it would be nice
to try a California roll
from where it all started.
- Wait, hang on.
A little problem.
- What?
- Three plane tickets.
- Good.
I mean, "oh, no."
- Here, let me see.
Okay, great.
These are first-class tickets.
I can just trade these for five coach seats
and we're all set.
- Oh, all right.
So, if we're all going to Japan,
there's lots of preparation to be done.
We'll need passports, fresh underwear,
a voltage converter for your night light.
- I don't need a night light anymore.
So you're sure the night light
will work in Japan?
- We'll make sure.
- Okay.
- Man, she's a piece of work.
[Screaming]
- Oh.
- Put it out.
- Put it out, put it out.
Get it, get it.
Why does this keep happening?
[Music]
- I know, oompe.
If I had a haircut like yours,
I would be embarrassed too.
- So this is Henri p'twa
and his poodle puppet oompe.
- Okay, fine.
Eat your puppy food.
- That's the comedy show
we're competing against?
- One of them.
- That poodle puppet eats like a pig.
- My goodness, oompe.
I think you eat like a little piggy.
Bad dog.
No, bad--bad dog.
- Uh-oh.
- Maybe oompe should be neutered.
- This is my show.
[Music]
- Hello. Konichiwa.
- Konichiwa.
- Excellent.
- Oh, thank you.
- How are you today?
Ogenki desu ka?
- Ogenki--wait, what?
- I'm sorry.
- Ah.
- The pain helps you learn.
- But I didn't say it wrong.
I was asking you to repeat it?
- Who are you yelling at?
- Him, the Japanese learning wizard.
He teaches me Japanese phrases
and if I don't say 'em right,
he shocks me with this collar.
I hate it.
- So take the collar off.
- I can't.
It's magnetically locked
until you get past level one.
- How are you today?
Ogenki desu ka?
- Ogen--what?
- No, no, no.
Ah.
Oh.
- The pain helps you learn.
- The pain is melting my throat--
- so what's with her?
- Oh, she teaches me how to speak Swedish.
I bought her when I bought him.
- Why, 'cause she's hot?
- Well, not just 'cause--yes.
[Music]
- Okay, so what's this other show
we're competing against?
- Uh, it's a Japanese web show
called "kyoko and yuki."
- They're Japanese?
- Great, then they'll have
a home court advantage.
- Just put their web show on.
No one's paying you to look pretty.
- No one's paying me at all.
- Just click the thingy.
- Okay, "kyoko and yuki."
- Just teach me how to play this guitar.
- You're the worst student
I've ever taught.
Why do you play the guitar so badly?
- I don't know.
- Well, just try.
- Okay.
- Play better.
- I'm trying.
- Okay, they're kind of funny.
- Definitely.
- Well, yeah, but you guys are funnier.
- Thanks.
We just have to come up
with something totally hilarious
to do at the competition.
- Okay.
How about you and I play
two kids at a birthday party,
trying to break open a pinata?
- And let me guess,
Freddie plays the pinata?
- Yes.
- Why does every idea you have
involve hitting me with a stick?
- Come on.
Let's watch them a little more
as we know exactly what we're up against.
- Well, I'm not worried.
"Kyoko and yuki"
aren't that funny?
[Crying]
- Oh no, a bee!
[Speaking Japanese]
[Laughter]
- I've seen funnier.
- We'll beat those guys easy.
- All right, they're hilarious.
[Music]
[Laughter]
Okay, okay.
Turn it off.
All right, let's face it.
"Kyoko and yuki"
are really funny.
- But-- - they're really funny.
- So is "icarly."
We're gonna win that iweb award.
- Right.
And even if we don't win,
I mean, it's still an honor
just to be nominated, right?
- Yeah, and win or lose,
we still get a free trip to Japan.
- Whoa, whoa.
I don't wanna hear this
or-lose talk, all right.
- But I just meant-- - saying "or lose"
is like giving up.
Carly, when Ms. Briggs told us
we couldn't pick the kids
to be in the talent show, did you give up?
- No.
- And what about the time
those cops were chasing me
and yelling at me
to stop running, did I give up?
- No, you kept running.
- And, Freddie,
have you ever given up your hope
that one day Carly might love you?
- No.
- Well, you should.
Anyway, we are gonna beat "kyoko and yuki"
and win that iweb award.
- You're right.
We just gotta come up
with the funniest "icarly" bit
we've ever done.
- Yeah.
- Absolutely.
- Good, let's get to work.
- Right.
- Uh, you guys start.
I'm gonna go take a nap.
[Music]
- Hello, how are you?
- Hej hur maj du.
- You are one fine mamma jamma.
- I'm sorry.
[Phone ringing]
- Yes.
Hey, socko, you talk to your buddy,
the pilot?
No way, yeah?
He can fly all of us to Japan?
Oh, socko, who's better than you?
Okay, Ryan seacrest is awesome
but so are you.
Yeah, text me later.
So, you wanna come to Japan with me.
- I'm sorry.
[Music]
- And now, "the adventures
of Melanie higgles."
- I'm Melanie higgles.
- Space cheerleader.
* oh, yeah, un-huh *
* oh, yeah, oh, yeah, un-huh *
* weeee *
- Melanie higgles.
* oh, yeah, un-huh *
* what's up? *
- come to the dark side
of space cheerleading.
- No way.
Get outer my space.
Oh, yeah.
- Come to the dark side.
- No.
- Rarr.
- Growl.
- Get out.
- Join me.
- No way.
- You know you want to.
- You're super annoying.
- Come to the dark side.
- Give me an ow!
- Ow.
- Give me an ow!
- Ow.
- Give me an ow!
- Ow.
- Give me an ow!
- Ow.
- And we're clear.
- So, what'd you think?
- Hilarious.
It's awesome.
- See.
- We've got our bit for the iweb awards.
- Yeah, we do.
So what's next?
- Well, if you guys are interested,
I went online and found
all kinds of interesting facts about Japan.
- Well, tell us.
- Like when was Japan formed?
- What's their economy like?
- How does their culture differ from ours?
- What are their major exports?
- Are they a democracy?
- How strong is their Navy?
- What are the popular foods?
- Does Japan have universal healthcare?
- They don't wanna know.
[Music]
- Uh, Sam, maybe you wanna come help us?
- No, thanks.
I wanna get my heel really smooth.
- Yeah, well, thanks for getting
your nasty foot dust all over our couch.
- My mom is a nutcase.
- Uh, you're just now figuring that out?
- Just a few more, Freddie.
- No.
- You need to be vaccinated.
- But you've already given me 11 shots.
- Yes, you're halfway done.
Come here.
- No.
- Freddie. Come on now.
- I have a spatula.
- Hey, we gotta be
at the airport in 45 minutes.
- I better finish packing.
- What are those? Snacks?
- Uh-huh.
- Fat cakes?
- These are low-fat fat cakes.
- For who?
The health conscious fat cake eater?
- Just help me pack.
- Okay.
- Just one last shot, Freddie.
Come across the hall
and I'll give it to you at home.
- No, let's just do it here
and get it over with.
- Um, this one doesn't go in your arm.
- Well, then, where does it-- oh, man.
- We'll meet you down in the lobby
in five minutes.
- Hurry.
- No, no, mom, I don't want a shot.
It hurts so bad I'm gonna pass out.
- Okay, are we ready?
- Oh, let's see.
Packed suitcases, done.
Turn off heat, done.
Keys in pocket, done.
Crumple list and toss casually
in the trash can, yep.
Close enough.
- Do you have the plane tickets?
- We don't need tickets.
Socko says we're gonna be
the only people on the plane.
- You got us a private jet?
- No.
- Better?
- No.
[Music]
- Come on.
This way. Keep it coming.
Oh, watch where you step.
- So, your name is freight dog?
- Yeah.
And this is my pepperoni.
- Well, thanks for letting me smell it.
- This is your airplane?
- Yeah.
- Wow, this is almost as nice
as a gas station men's room.
- Thanks.
- Oh, what are all the possums for?
- That's my cargo on this trip.
Anything anybody wants
transported overseas, I fly it.
- Are the possums safe?
- No, ma'am.
They're full of disease.
- Oh.
- Okay, let's fly.
- Wait, um, where's the restroom
on this plane?
- Oh, here you go.
If you guys fill that one up,
I got more buckets in the back.
- Excuse me, I am not going
to do my business in this bucket.
I'm a lady.
- Oh, right.
Sorry.
Here.
[Music]
- That poor bucket.
- Yeah, you have no idea.
- Oh.
- This is insane.
- I know.
I can't believe I'm flying to Japan
on a cargo plane surrounded by poss-eye.
- Poss-eye?
What is poss-eye?
- It's the plural of possum.
- No, it's not.
- One possum, many poss-eye.
- That's so stupid.
- It is not.
- I'm having anxiety.
- Okay.
- Are you cold?
- A little bit.
- Maybe we should snuggle
close together, you know,
to keep warm and-- - no.
- All right.
- Hey, look at me with a possum.
- Sam, don't eat him.
- I'm not gonna-- I'm not gonna eat him.
- Sam, be careful with that thing.
You don't know where it's been.
- Like we know where Sam's been.
- How is everybody doing?
- Shouldn't you be flying the plane?
- What do you think this rope's for?
- See?
- We get it.
- Let it go.
- Hey, why are you taking all these possums
to Japan anyway?
- Oh, they're not going to Japan.
They're going to Korea.
Possi are the most popular pets there now.
- But wait.
Socko said you are taking us to Japan.
- No, I'm taking you over Japan.
- Over?
- What?
- Here, hold my pepperoni.
- Oh, may I?
- Yeah.
- Welcome to Japan.
We should be over Tokyo
in about five minutes.
That's when you jump.
I recommend using a parachute.
Who wants one?
Goggles, get your goggles here.
You can't go up without your goggles.
Here we go, ma'am.
Take one for yourself.
Here you go, son.
- Okay, thank you.
- We're parachuting into Japan?
[Music]
Can someone hand me the pink bucket?
[Music]
- If you guys wanna land in Tokyo,
you better jump in the next two minutes.
- I am not putting on this parachute.
I would rather go to Korea
with the diseased possi.
- How could your friend socko
not have mentioned
that we'd have to jump out
of the plane into Japan?
- He might have mentioned it.
He said freight dog could drop us in Japan.
I didn't realize
he actually meant "drop us."
- We've got to get to the iweb awards
so let's just jump.
- Guys, there's no way my mom
is jumping out of this airplane.
- I know how to make her jump.
- No chance.
She's been afraid of heights
ever since--o m g!
- I'm coming, Freddie.
Pechangaaahhh!!!
- Okay. Who's next?
- Ladies first.
- All right.
- Oh.
- Hold my hand.
- Ready?
- Shouldn't we count to three first?
- No. Just scream.
- When.
- Now.
[Screaming]
- Good job.
- Brother, you've got to jump now.
- All right.
Sorry.
My friend here is just a little nervous.
- Hello. Konichiwa.
- No, I didn't mean to turn you on.
- I'm sorry.
- Good job.
[Music]
[Screaming]
- Whoa.
- That was insane.
- I know.
- We're in Japan.
- I know.
- Where's the Sushi bar?
- I can't get out
of this psychotic parachute.
Stupid thing.
I can't believe we were forced
to jump into Japan.
When I see Spencer, I am going to tell him
in no uncertain terms that-- - here I come.
- Mom.
Come on.
Are you all right?
- What happened?
- Are you all right?
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
Whoa.
That was intense.
- Hey, you're collar broke.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, at least now
I don't have to worry about-- [screaming]
- I think freight dog threw our luggage
out of the plane.
- What makes you think that--
- the fat cakes are okay.
- Hey, did anybody see
my red backpack come down?
- Okay.
I think that's everything.
- My head. What happened?
[Music]
- Finally.
- The front desk is right over there.
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you, officer.
- I don't know what we would have done
if you hadn't found us.
- Oh, you would have
slowly starved in the wilderness
until you all perished
and were eaten by wild animals.
- Right.
- Well, thanks so much.
[Speaking Japanese]
- He was nice.
- He was weird.
- I took his handcuffs.
- I'll go check us in.
- Haven't you done enough?
- I'll do it.
- I'll go with you.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Welcome to hotel Nakamura.
May I help you?
- Yeah.
We're checking in.
- Oh, honeymoon couple.
- No.
My name is Carly shay.
We have reservations
through the iweb awards.
- Yes, let me check
and see what room you are in.
- This is a catastrophe.
You must speak with me now.
- Excuse me, but we were here first.
- Fermer la bouche I was supposed to have
a separate room for my poopit.
- Your poopit?
- What's a poopit?
- Poopit.
- Puppet?
[Growls]
Okay.
- Look.
I had a really tough day
which included jumping out of a cargo plane
full of possums and wandering
in the Japanese wilderness
for seven hours so I--
- I cannot share a room wiz zees puppet.
- Sir.
- I got this.
- Oompe.
- Can I please check in?
- Yes.
The iweb awards have provided you
with a double suite.
I hope you find the rooms to your liking.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
- Cool.
- Okay, we're all set.
- Awesome.
- Finally.
- Enjoy your honeymoon.
- Stop saying that.
[Music]
- Freddie, pull your pants up higher.
- Mom.
- Ooh, nice.
- Cool room.
- Check it out.
- This is so exciting, my first pee
in a foreign country.
- Have fun.
- I've got to crash.
- Me, too.
- So how are we going to split up?
Maybe the boys in this room
and us, girls, in the other one?
- No.
- Wouldn't you rather share
a room with your sweet son, Freddie?
- Freddie needs you.
- Guys.
- No, Freddie, they're right.
- Thanks a lot.
- Hey, where'd Spencer go?
- In here.
Look, they leave you
with these cute, little candies
in the bathroom.
I'm loving this hotel.
You know they have 24-hour room--
it's soap.
[Music]
[Knocking]
- Carly, someone's knocking at the door.
[Knocking]
- Someone's knocking.
- I'll get it.
Wake up.
- Aaah!
- Who is it?
- Kyoko and yuki.
- Kyoko and yuki?
- Our competition?
- Who are kyoko and yuki?
- The kids who star in one of the web shows
we're competing against.
- What are they doing here?
- Hi.
- Hello. I'm yuki.
- Kyoko. Welcome to Japan.
- Yes.
- Thanks. Come on in.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- I'm Carly.
And that's Sam and Freddie.
- Oh, of course.
- We know.
- Hi.
- We love your web show.
- Hey, we love yours.
- Yeah.
- It's awesome.
- Oh, and this is my brother, Spencer.
- Konichiwa ohgenkee deskah.
- I ate soap.
- We just woke up.
- At 3:00 in the afternoon?
- We slept through breakfast and lunch?
- Fat cake.
- What are you guys doing here?
- Well, we found out that you were staying
at this hotel--
- and we wanted to welcome you to Tokyo.
- Please accept this expensive gift basket.
- Thanks.
- So, your trip here was good?
- Yeah. The plane ride was pretty insane.
- Until we had to jump out.
- You jumped out of your airplane?
- Some jumped.
Some were pushed.
- We know it sounds weird
'cause well, it was weird.
But we're fine.
- We are.
Some of our luggage fell to its death.
- Drowned in a lake.
- I thought the soap was candy.
- Well, if some of your luggage drowned,
as you say-- - would you like us
to take you shopping?
- Shopping?
- Do we have time?
- Oh, yes.
The iweb awards do not start
for five hours.
- Plenty of time.
- Freddie, Freddie,
look at this wonderful robes
the hotel gives you.
- Oh, hello.
Could we get a few extra towels
and some unscented toilet paper?
- They don't work here, crazy.
- They have a web show that got nominated
for an iweb award.
- It's a pleasure to meet you.
- They wanna take us shopping.
- Ooh, I'd like to go shopping.
- Oh, well, we would love
for you to join us.
- But for the grownups,
yuki and I have arranged
traditional Japanese seaweed massages.
- Massages?
- I could use a good rubbing.
- Here, our cousins work
at the spa just down the street.
You will have a wonderful massage there.
- Awesome.
- So, shall we go shopping?
- Sure.
Just give us a little time
to shower and get dressed.
- Of course.
- Freddie, make sure you put on
a fresh pair of antibacterial underpants.
- Mom.
[Music]
- So, are you nervous
about the competition tonight?
- Sure. A little bit.
- What?
Don't you feel all confident
wearing your antibacterial underpants?
- At least my underwear
doesn't have I heart las Vegas
written across the butt.
- You looked in my suitcase.
- I did not look in your suitcase.
That is so-- - okay.
There's nothing wrong
with wearing underwear
that fights bacteria.
- Yeah.
- Or that was purchased in a casino.
- Yeah.
- You guys are hilarious.
- Just like on "icarly."
- Well, your guys' show
is really funny, too.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
- Who brought his little junior camcorder?
- It happens to shoot in high def.
- He told you.
- Yuki, weren't we supposed
to turn left back there?
- I know where I'm going.
- But I think we passed the turn.
- I'm driving, okay?
- Don't be obnoxious.
[Arguing in Japanese]
[Music]
- And this is real seaweed?
- Hai.
- Wow.
I feel like a gigantic spicy tuna roll.
- So, you're both cousins
of kyoko and yuki?
- Yes.
- Oh, my Freddie's very excited
to be competing against them
in the iweb awards.
- So is my sister.
Have you ever seen "icarly?"
- No.
- Well.
- There, you're wrapped.
- Cool.
- So now, what?
- Oh, we go to see a movie.
- A movie?
- And then maybe go for some Italian food.
- Perhaps some eggplant parmesan.
- Wait, we don't understand.
- You will soon.
- When are you gonna unwrap us?
- When the iweb awards are over.
- After kyoko and yuki have won.
- What?
- You guys are kidding, right?
Are you kidding?
- I don't think they're kidding.
- We've been set up.
- Yeah.
- I don't think those kyoko and yuki kids
are as nice as they seemed.
- The children-- we have to warn them.
- Relax.
This is just seaweed.
How strong can it be?
- Fight. Fight, Spencer.
Spencer?
- Seaweed can be very strong.
[Music]
[Speaking Japanese]
- Why don't you just admit
that you are lost?
- Hey, guys?
- I am not lost.
Why must you disrespect
everything I stand for?
- Huh?
[Speaking in Japanese]
- Kyoko.
- Yuki.
- You guys!
Look, we don't even have time
to shop anymore.
- The iweb awards start in two hours.
- So let's just head back to our hotel
so we don't miss it, okay?
- Yeah.
We don't want that French moron
with the poopit to win by default.
[Music]
- They are right.
- Yes.
We should get you back to your hotel
so we can all make it
to the iweb awards on time.
- Good.
- Thank you.
[Music]
- We are heading back to the hotel, right?
- 'Cause it looks like
we're in the middle of nowhere.
- Okay. We're lost.
- I knew it.
I am sorry, we spoiled your welcome
to our country.
- Oh, come on.
You didn't spoil our welcome.
[Engine sputtering]
[Music]
- Why did we stop?
- We're out of gas.
- And now, the welcome is spoiled.
- You didn't get gas?
- Yes, I got gas, then we drove very far
in the wrong direction,
and now gas is gone.
- And the iweb awards
start in an hour and a half.
- Well, ain't this sweet.
The five of us are gonna miss the awards,
so frenchie and his poopit
are gonna win best comedy show on the web.
- Can't you guys just call your parents
or someone to come pick us up?
- We don't have cell phones with us.
- Okay, then I'll just call Spencer.
- Oh, your American cell phones
don't work in Japan.
- You have ruined everything.
I told you when to turn, but you refused.
- What about the time
you left my bicycle out on the rain?
- That was nine years ago.
- I'm still upset.
[Speaking in Japanese]
- This is bad.
- What are we gonna do?
- I'm so hungry.
[Music]
- This is impossible.
- I can't believe we're trapped by seaweed.
- Seaweed.
- Yes.
- Seaweed is edible.
- So?
- If I can't break my way out,
maybe I can eat my way out.
It's working.
Try it.
- I can't.
We bensons have short necks.
- Well, don't worry.
I'm gonna have us out of here fast.
[Music]
[Speaking Japanese]
- This is serious.
Why are you laughing?
- Something about Japanese
arguing cracks me up.
- They're leaving the Van.
Why are they leaving the Van?
- They're fighting.
- Spencer?
- What's up?
- What are you doing?
- I'm eating.
- Eat faster.
- I'm eating as fast as I can.
I'm out. I'm free.
- You're naked.
- What happened to our clothes?
Oh, those rotten masseuses took them.
Ooh, towels.
Don't look.
- Don't worry.
- Okay. I'm good.
- All right.
Now, chew me out of here.
- I can't. I'm full.
- Use that sword on the wall to cut me out.
Spencer?
- What?
- Your towel fell off.
[Music]
- Hey, hey, hey, give me your camcorder.
- Why are you recording this?
- To put on icarly.Com.
Kids love violence.
- Uh-oh.
Yuki's got her now.
- You almost kicked me in the head.
- We have to make this
look like a real fight.
- No problem.
- Come on, yuki.
Get up and show her
what your foot tastes like.
- Freddie, you're a boy.
Get in there and break it up.
Come on.
- I don't wanna,
I don't wanna--I'm not going--
I don't--I don't wanna--
- you gotta break it up.
Go, go.
- Okay, fine. I will.
Guys. Guys, seriously, just break it up.
This isn't-- - okay.
That is definitely going on icarly.Com.
- Okay. My towel is on.
- Nice. Let's go.
What's the matter?
- Those massage jerks locked us in here.
- What? No way.
It's bolted from the outside.
- We've gotta get out of here.
- There's an air vent.
- So?
- I'm gonna climb in there,
crawl through the duct
to another room and get us out of here.
- Okay.
Be careful.
- Wow, it's so dark in here.
- You see anything?
- No. It's so dark in here.
Wait, I see a light.
- Oh, good.
It probably leads to another room.
- Yeah, I'm heading toward it right now.
[Hacking cough]
- What's wrong?
- Just throw up a little seaweed.
- Well, are you getting
any closer to the vent?
- Yup.
Just a few more feet,
getting closer to the light.
There, I can touch it.
- Good. Can you get out?
- I think so.
Yeah.
Hey.
- Spencer?
- I didn't know.
- Be careful.
- I got it.
[Screams]
- Help.
Can anybody hear us?
- Anybody can hear you.
Shut up.
- Let's go.
- Come on.
- My eye look okay?
- Yes.
- For real?
- No.
It's all black and-- eww, it's throbbing.
Eww, eww, eww.
[Music]
- All right.
This fight is getting old.
That's how we do it in Seattle.
[Music]
- No problem.
- Pardon us.
- We had a little incident.
- No need to stare.
- Arigato.
Oh, my god.
The pain did not help me learn.
Hah, I'm wearing a second towel.
Arigato.
[Music]
Thank you.
- I can't believe kyoko
and yuki tricked us like that.
It's Freddie's backpack
and it smells just like his face.
- You know, that seaweed must be awesome
for your skin.
Look at me, I'm glowing.
- The children have been kidnapped
by evil Japanese web comedians.
What are we gonna do?
- Seriously, I'm glowing, right?
[Music]
- I'm really sorry, Sam had to get physical
of you guys.
- I'm sorry, your foot had to get physical
with my eye.
- I'm sorry, I haven't eaten anything
in four hours.
- Sam?
- Well, listen to my stomach.
- I don't want to listen to-- oh, my god,
it sounds like Chewbacca.
- Doesn't it?
- It is we who owe you an apology.
- For ruining your trip to Japan.
- And any chance for either
of our web shows to win at the iweb awards.
- To apologize,
please allow us to present you
with a special gift.
- Why a gift?
- It's a Japanese tradition
to give someone a gift
after you caused them trouble.
- That's so nice.
Where is it?
- It is in our Van.
- Yes.
We will both go get your gift--
- while the three of you stand there.
- You guys don't have to give us anything.
- Don't disrespect their traditions.
Is it expensive?
- It is very special.
- Just stay right there.
- And we'll be right back.
- Hey, I thought the Van ran out of gas.
- I don't think we're getting a gift.
- Maybe they're driving
somewhere to get it.
- No.
They did all this on purpose
so they can ditch us
and then go win the iweb award.
- So they're definitely not
giving us a present?
- No.
[Music]
- I feel like we've been walking
for nine years.
- I can't believe I got a black eye.
Ah, it's still throbbing.
- Yeah, yeah, so is my head
from all your yappin'.
- How long till the iweb awards start?
- Less than half an hour.
- There's no way we're gonna make it.
Not possible. Zero chance.
- Hey, that's the spirit.
- I'm just being realistic.
- Look, I'm sure Spencer and Freddie's mom
are doing everything they can to find us.
And anyway, aren't you the one who gave us
the only-losers-give-up speech?
- I don't know.
I don't listen to the things I say.
- Well, you did.
And you were right.
So let's not give up now.
- Well, what are we supposed to do?
- I don't know, but it's not helping
for you guys keep talking about how hungry
and miserable you are.
We all know that your eye
is black and throbbing
and we all know you're starving.
So let's forget that stuff
and try to think positively, all right?
Maybe Spencer and Freddie's mom
will find us in time,
and maybe they'll bring
eye ointment and cheeseburgers.
I just think if we try
and keep a positive attitude,
then maybe we'll-- [horn blowing]
- I'm depressed.
[Music]
- Excuse me, we have an emergency.
- Excuse moi, I am in the middle
- I don't have time to talk to you.
- You don't have time to talk to me?
[Arguing]
- Why am I arguing
with a poodle with a mustache?
Here.
He's yours if you run away.
- Oompe.
Oompe, come back. Oompe?
- Listen, my little sister
and her two friends were kidnapped
by evil Japanese web comedians
and we don't know where they are.
So if you can call the police--
- oh, my god.
- What?
- The chip.
In all this confusion, I completely forgot
about the chip.
- Chip?
- What chip?
- As soon as Freddie
was old enough to toddle,
I had a locator chip put in his head
by a questionable doctor in Venezuela.
- You chipped Freddie?
- Oh, I chipped him because I love him.
- You mean a locator chip,
like a GPS kind of thing?
- Yes, but you can never tell him.
- I won't, I won't.
Just how do we find him?
- With this.
- Welcome to global net.
Please stand by while we locate
Benson, fredward.
- That is insane.
- Shhh.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
- Come on.
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Come on.
- Oh, it's blinking.
- Blinking.
- You guys hear that?
- No.
- Hear what?
- Benson, fredward located,
12.7 miles northeast.
- Got him.
- Uh-huh.
- Don't worry, Freddie, mama's coming.
- Spencer's also coming.
[Music]
- All right.
What is going on?
- What do you mean?
- What's the problem?
- I don't know.
It's like I can just barely hear
this thing beeping,
like in the back of my head.
It's so weird.
- You're so weird.
- We're all weird, let's keep walking.
[Music]
- Come on, come on, come on
- Benson, fredward is 2.3 miles due east.
- All right.
We're getting closer.
- I'm so glad I had that GPS chip
installed in Freddie's head.
- Driver, I'm very uncomfortable back here.
Is there any way we can open the sunroof?
- Yeah.
Sometimes, it opens if you push very hard.
- Oh, okay.
Watch your heads. Okay.
Come on, ya little sunroof.
I need to unbend my spine.
There you go. Oh. Okay.
Oh.
Oh. Hey, cool.
We're in a tunnel.
Echo.
[Echos]
- Oh, no. No.
- What?
- I lost Freddie's signal.
- Probably because we're in a tunnel.
- Unable to locate Benson, fredward.
- Here.
See if you can get a signal out there.
- Oh.
- Sorry.
- Connecting to satellite,
locating Benson, fredward.
- I got the signal.
No worries.
[Music]
- I still don't see
why we have to carry Sam.
- Yeah.
Why are we carrying you?
- We're taking turns.
If we ever get lost in Japan again,
I'm gonna carry you guys.
- Yeah.
[Music]
- Mr. Wilkins?
- Yes, rolph.
- The iweb chairman
and his family in the vip room,
all taken care off.
- Excellent.
- And were you able to get me a hotdog?
- Oh, yes, sir.
- Wonderful.
Have all the nominees checked in?
- Almost.
One of the teams in the comedy category
hasn't shown up yet, "icarly."
- Strange. Bite?
- No. Thank you.
[Music]
- I can't believe you dropped my GPS unit.
- The cab hit a bump
and it blew out of my hands.
- Well, you should have
gripped it more firmly.
- I'm just a person.
- Well, now, how are we gonna find
the children?
- I don't know.
Maybe we should pull over
and ask those muddy hobos
if they've seen them.
- Driver, pull over
next to those muddy hobos?
- What's a hobos?
- Wait.
Those aren't hobos.
Those are the children.
- Hey. You guys. Carly.
- Spencer.
- Oh, my god.
- Are you okay? Are you okay?
Are you okay?
- I'm okay. We're okay.
I was so worried about you.
- Oh, Freddie.
- Mom.
- Freddie.
- Mom, mom, please stop.
No, no. It's okay. Mom.
- Hey. Hey. Heeeeeyyyy.
Did anyone bring food?
- Mom, mom, I don't think
baby wipes are gonna do it.
- Oh, all right.
I'll sterilize you later.
- How did you find us?
- Oh, Mrs. Benson had a chip.
- Ah?
- Chippewa.
She had a chippewa Indian show us the way.
- Is that a black eye?
- Yeah.
But I'm fine, it's okay.
- Oh, fredward.
- Oh, mom.
Man-handling me.
Stop. I can't breathe.
- The iweb awards.
- Huh?
- Freddie, Freddie, how long
till the iweb wards start?
- Uh, about five minutes.
- Oh, man.
- But the comedy shows go last.
- Well, come on.
Let's try and make it.
- We got to go.
We got to go.
- Okay. Everyone in?
- Not really.
- Seatbelts on.
- Hit it, dude.
- Oh. Wait. Wait. Wait.
No, no. Stop, stop.
- Spencer? Spencer?
- Uh-oh.
- Why are you on the ground?
- Well, I'm just being lazy.
- Well, come on-- - I'm going. I'm trying.
- Okay. Get the thing.
- I'm getting the thing.
I'm getting thing.
Go, go, go.
We're gonna be late.
[Music]
- Five seconds till the show.
- Ready camera one.
- First shot up.
- And we're live.
- Go one.
- Welcome to the international iweb awards
coming to you live from Tokyo, Japan.
The international web commission--
- here we go.
Now, please welcome your host,
Victor price.
- Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Settle down. Settle down now.
Settle.
You know, there are so many reasons
why I'm standing here on this stage,
coming to you live from Tokyo, Japan,
hosting the iweb awards.
The main reason-- well, the oscars,
they didn't want me, so.
No, no. I'm kidding.
This is actually a huge honor for me.
[Music]
- Hi. Wait.
Oh, we're "icarly."
- From America.
- As in the United States of.
We're supposed to be competing
in the iweb awards competition.
- It's not our fault we're late.
- You can blame kyoko and yuki.
- They kidnapped us.
- Then ditched us in the middle of nowhere.
- With no snacks - or a proper restroom.
I wasn't speaking Spanish.
- Come on, let's just go--
[speaking Japanese]
- We are performers.
- We're nominees.
- One of the teams we're competing against
tried to cheat by getting rid of us.
- What?
- It's nobody's birthday.
You're so random.
- Ready, one. Go one.
- We have a little something
special for you.
Are you ready?
[Cheering]
Okay. Okay.
All the way from America.
Here they are, good Charlotte.
[Music]
- Don't you have tickets
or passes or something?
- Yeah.
They were on our suitcase
that freight dog dropped into the lake.
- Here.
Let me talk to the guy.
- Oh.
Okay, maybe I didn't say that quite right.
[Speaking Japanese]
- Did you understand any of that?
- Ah, I'm not sure,
but I think he called us
dirty street monsters.
* if I said these simple words *
* I'll wait, I'll wait *
* as long as you want *
* where would we be now, baby *
* if we found each other first *
* what would you do now *
- look, we're missing the show.
We need to go inside.
- Okay.
When I say now,
everybody scream and run inside.
He can't stop all of us.
- I don't think that's a good-- - now.
- Now.
[Music]
- All right.
Just forget it.
That is fake hair.
With all your pants!
- What did I say?
- Next up are the nominees
for the best cooking show.
- I can't believe they won't let us in.
- We came this close
and now we finally got here
and we're still gonna lose by default.
- So now, what?
- I don't know.
- Why don't we all go
back to the hotel and pack up?
- No.
Do you not get that "icarly"
is really important to me and to them?
This was a big deal for us.
- Whatever.
Let's just get out of here.
- No.
I'm going back
over to those security guards.
- But they don't speak English.
- I'm going to distract them.
When I do, you all run inside that door.
[Speaking Japanese]
- Go, go, go, go, go.
Pechangaaahhh!
- Hey, that's enough shaking.
The onions are ready for action.
- Has the American
comedy show team arrived yet, "icarly?"
- No, sir.
They haven't checked in.
- Shame.
Well, go on and mark them as a forfeit.
Let them know in the booth.
- Yes, sir. Control booth.
We have a change in the lineup.
- See anyone?
- All clear.
- Let's go.
- Come on.
- Hi.
I see you found your hair.
- Oompe, you cannot be in love
with a pussycat.
You come from different worlds.
- Ow.
- Okay.
- Mom.
- Freddie.
- Pushy.
Why are you here?
- None of us speak Japanese.
- Oh, good.
He's got a Japanese-English dictionary.
- Okay.
He's looking up something.
- This is progress.
- He's gonna say something.
- Hello.
- Thank you.
[Music]
We thank you. Viva la France.
- Okay.
We're gonna have to skip
the web show from America, "icarly,"
because they were not able
to make it here tonight.
So, up next for best comedy, please welcome
a hometown favorite
from right here in Tokyo, kyoko and yuki.
[Music]
- Look.
- Oh, great.
We were supposed to go on before them.
- Those are the Internet delinquents
who tricked these children and us.
- We were seaweeded to massage tables.
- We are supposed to be out there.
- Lasagna.
[Speaking Japanese]
- Kyoko and yuki cheated.
- That's how I got this black eye.
- These kids are nominees.
- Why does your soap look like candy?
- I have a bladder infection.
- Can't you guys go get someone
that speaks English?
[Speaking Japanese]
- Forget it, these donut holes
can't understand anything.
- We have to communicate with these guys.
- We can't.
- We can't with words.
- Huh?
- Let's act it out for them.
- Act what out?
- Everything that's happened
to us since we got to Japan.
- Do it.
- Okay.
You wanna know what happened?
Here's what happened.
We do a comedy show on the web.
- You know, a show on the Internet.
[Speaking Japanese]
- A comedy. Like-- [laughing]
- See, comedy?
- You are eating too fast.
- You are eating too slow.
[Speaking Japanese]
- And then, all five of us
got on a horrible airplane.
- Airplane.
- And the plane was filled with poss-eye.
- Many possums.
- Possum.
- So freight dog said that we had to jump
out of the plane.
- Jump.
- Jump. Jump. Jump.
- Yes. Yes.
- We had to jump out of the plane.
- Jump.
- We lost the graphics.
- No video feeds to the big screen.
- Try to fix it. Camera four.
- Four up.
- Jump.
- Okay.
- What's going on?
- Who are those girls?
- Kill the big screen.
- I can't.
I don't know where the video feed
is coming from.
- And with his parachute.
- A parachute.
- His feet hit Freddie's mom
in the head, knocked her down.
- Kind of like this.
- Wait, you're not gonna-- - wait.
Those are the girls from "icarly."
- Isn't that the stupid security guard
from outside?
- Go find out where they are.
- Right.
- And when we were checking into our hotel,
this French guy-- - who is also a nominee
kept butting in with his stupid puppet.
- And he was all-- - stupid?
- --"This is my poopit."
- "Look at my beautiful poopit."
- "I need a separate room for my poopit."
- Puppet.
[Speaking Japanese]
- This isn't fair.
- "Icarly" forfeited.
- These girls are a crack-up.
- Oh, go eat your lengthy corn.
- Hey, I found
where the signal's coming from.
Should I shut it down?
- No way.
The audience loves them.
- And we thought kyoko and yuki
were fighting for real.
- So Sam broke up the fight
by flipping them.
Sam?
- The video feed's coming
from the utility room by the control booth.
- Be back in a flash.
- And while we were with kyoko and yuki,
my brother-- - and this lady.
- --They couldn't help us
'cause they were getting
massages from kyoko and yuki's cousin.
- Massage?
- Massages.
- Massage? Massage.
- Massages.
- See? Massages.
[Speaking Japanese]
- Massages.
- And the next thing we knew,
kyoko and yuki jumped in their Van
and ditched us.
- Which made us very sad.
- There you are.
- Hey, it's the iweb guy from the v-mail.
- And he speaks English.
- Sweet English.
- Indeed.
[Speaking Japanese]
Get him some cranberry juice.
- "Icarly" people, come with me.
- And even though that wasn't exactly
how we planned for the show
to go tonight, we are very glad
to have the performers-- - wow. Good crowd.
[Music]
Wait. So when do we perform?
And why was that funny?
- You've already won.
- Huh?
- What do you mean?
- The winners of the iweb award
for best web comedy show, "icarly."
[Music]
- Oh, my god.
But how did we win?
- They didn't even see us perform.
- Yeah, they did.
- How?
- A little Freddie techno magic.
- Oh, my god.
- Yes.
- Go, Freddie.
- Can I touch it?
- Yeah, let's do it.
- Okay.
- We didn't do anything.
- You can't do this to us.
- "Icarly" forfeited.
- We are in the show.
- We are performers.
What are you doing?
What are you doing to us?
- No, no.
- You stupid poopit.
- Oh, I feel seasick.
- This is horrible.
- No kidding.
- The worst.
- You guys didn't wanna go back
on freight dog's plane and this was
the best transportation socko could get us.
- Well, socko should stick to making socks.
- Do we have any food on this boat?
- Oh, wait, I've got a whole bag
of Japanese candy.
- Awesome.
- Finally.
- Thanks.
[Gagging]
- This is soap.
- Oh, yeah.
[Music]
- I love "icarly."
This cake is for you.
It says, "icarly.
Carly, Sam, and Freddie"
and then it says, you-- oh. Rock.
- Peace out.
- Bye.
Captioning performed by peoplesupport transcription & captioning