-All right.
Come on, we've got to study.
-Ugh.
Let me just eat one more meatball.
-You said that three meatballs ago.
-I have a problem.
-Knock, knock. [INAUDIBLE].
OK.
What goes on?
-Sam has a meatball problem.
-I thought you were on the patch.
-She is.
Aren't these meat patches supposed to curb your cravings?
-They're not working.
I still want you.
-Put it down.
-Fine.
-Right.
That's where it goes.
[BEEPING]
-Who beeped?
-Uh, Big Birch requesting a video chat.
Who's Big Birch?
-Oh.
I told my mum she could give your screenname
to your cousin's next door neighbour's brother.
-Oh.
Well, if it's your mum's cousin's next door
neighbour's brother, I better jump right on this.
-Want to put some meat?
-Yeah, I'll play some meat golf.
-Hello?
Whaddup, Big Birch?
-Oh my god!
Did you-- Carly!
I got you!
-Yeah.
What you need?
-Uh, here's my situation.
Uh, I want to get married.
-Well, I'm still in high school.
--[LAUGHING] Super funny, super funny.
Uh, no.
My girlfriend and I, we love your web show, "iCarly."
We never miss it.
-Aw, thanks.
-And so I thought it would be totally super special if I came
on "iCarly," and I proposed to her live on the show.
-Oh.
Well, that sounds kind of fun.
-Yeah.
Oh!
Yeah.
I got it all planned out, yeah.
I even wrote a special song for her and everything.
You want me to sing it for you right now?
-Uh, why don't you just email me the song?
-Sure deal.
Oh, hey.
You want me to bring you some Wisconsin mustard?
It's got beef in it.
-No, I don't want that.
Bye.
-Hey.
Did you guys save me a meatball?
-Sure did.
Heads up.
Oh.
-Thanks.
NARRATOR: In five, four, three, two--
THEME SONG: I know, you see, somehow the world will
change for me and be so wonderful.
Live life, breathe air, I know somehow we're
going to get there and feel so wonderful.
It's all for real.
I'm telling you just how I feel.
So wake up the members of my nation.
And it's your time to be.
There's no chance unless you take one,
and a time to see the brighter side of every situation.
Some things are meant to be, so give me your best
and leave the rest to me.
Leave it all to me.
Just leave it all to me.
-OK.
It's time for something new on "iCarly."
-Something we like to call, "Random Chatting."
-Whoa!
Random chat, random chatting, random chat.
Random chatting.
Whoa!
-Random chatting, random chatting.
Ah!
Whoa!
-OK, Freddie.
Pick a random fan who's watching "iCarly" right now.
-And fling his or her random face
right up on (SOUTHERN ACCENT) that there
video screen, gah, gah, gah.
-OK.
Here's a random fan named Jodi Flooger.
-Hey, what's up?
-Mum!
I'm on "iCarly!"
-Um, Jodi?
I was just wondering, do you happen to have a boyfriend?
-Well, yeah.
I do.
His name is Gordon.
He's at OshKosh, buying a new muffler.
-Well, Jodi, your boyfriend, Gordon, is a filthy liar!
-'Cause look!
He's right here.
-Gordon!
--[SHOUTING] Man, you guys are real.
Hey!
-Gordon?
What are you doing on "iCarly?"
-Well, something I've been wanting
to do for a long time, doll.
-What?
-Carly!
Carly!
You are not going to believe this.
-Uh, Spencer, we are in the middle of a live web show.
-Yeah, I know.
I know, I know.
But I think your fans are going to love this.
See, I was eating this bag of potato chips.
And look what I found-- a tortilla chip.
It's a manufacturing error.
-It says bonus, one free tortilla chip in every bag.
-Hey, Spencer.
I think you're awesome.
-Oh.
Thanks, screen lady.
-You are so funny.
I think you should be on "iCarly" all the time.
-I know.
But Carly and Sam are all--
-OK.
-Oh, you're not in our demographic,
so you shouldn't be--
-Keep it going. Keep it going.
SAM: Out the door. CARLY: All right.
SAM: There we go. -Whoo!
OK.
Let's see.
Um, Gordon?
Don't you have something you want to say to Jodi?
-Heck yeah.
Whoo.
Jodi, uh, you and me, we've been dating a long time.
And um, well-- aw, gosh.
I just love you to pieces.
And uh, I hope you feel the same way.
-Cut to the chase, Gordon.
-I-- whoo.
-Sup?
-Gibby?
-Why are you wearing that?
-You told me I was going to the ring bear.
-Ring bear-er.
-Yeah.
-Ugh, just do it.
-Jodi, will you marry me?
-Oh, Gordon.
Yes!
You bet your cheese I will!
-Yeah!
She said yes!
-Mum!
I'm getting married!
MUM: It's about time.
-Oh, Carly.
Sam, Freddie!
I want you guys to come to the wedding in Wisconsin.
ALL: OK.
-Really?
-Great.
-Oh, and bring Spencer.
-Yeah.
Oh, baby, you want to have Carly and Sam be your bridesmaids.
-Oh, yeah.
-Uh.
-(SOUTHERN ACCENT) I think you guys
will make real purty bridesmaids.
-Freddie, you could be my best man.
-Uh.
-Oh, the irony.
-What irony?
-You're the best at nothing, and you're barely a man.
-Uh, don't you have a special song
you want to sing for a special someone?
-Yeah, right.
Uh, Jodi, this is a song I wrote just for you.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-Uh-- got to pee.
CAPTAIN PIKE (OVER INTERCOM): This is Captain Pike.
In about 20 minutes, we'll be landing in Wisconsin.
ALL: Aw, dang it.
CAPTAIN PIKE (OVER INTERCOM): Yeah, I know.
SAM: We're both hideous.
CARLY: I know.
-Ah!
Oh my gosh, I totally have my whole wedding!
-Yay!
-Hey.
--[GASP] Spencer, you look so handsome and dapper.
-Well, I dapped before I left the hotel.
-Wow.
You are quite a cackler.
So where's your fiancee, Gordon?
-Oh, I think he's getting dressed.
You have really nice pecs.
-What?
-She likes your pecs.
-Oh.
Well, I swim sometimes.
-No, you don't.
-I swam once.
-Hey.
-Hi.
-I'm Jeb.
-Hello, Jeb.
-I'm the groom's brother.
But guess what?
My brother didn't pick me to be his best man.
He picked you.
-Yeah.
Uh, I was kind of surprised about that myself.
-Yeah, I bet.
-I didn't pick myself to be the best man.
Gordon was--
-Just watch your back, internet boy.
---(MOCKINGLY) Internet boy.
-Why did we stop?
-There's something up in that tree.
-Happy birthday.
-Dude, whoa.
A $5 bill.
I'm going to get that.
Call mum.
Tell her we might be late for dinner.
-But when you really stop and think about it,
marriage isn't just the bonding of two people in internal love.
It's also about eternal respect, eternal companionship--
-This ceremony's eternal.
-Thank you.
Gordon?
-Yeah?
-Do you take Jodi to be your wife?
To love, honour, respect, and care for her
as long as you both shall live?
-Aw, you bet your sweet bippy, I do.
-Jodi, do you take Gordon to be your husband?
To love, honour, respect, and care for him,
as long as you both shall live?
-I-- I can't.
[GASPS]
-What do you mean?
-I think I'm in love with someone else.
[GASPS]
-Whoa.
-Who?
-Spencer.
-So you're the Spencer boy who took Jodi from my grandson.
-Ma'am, I promise you, I did nothing to--ah!
Ah!
-Excuse me, that was totally uncalled for.
-Who are you?
-His sister.
And there was no reason for you to knee him in the-- aw!
Yeah, you better walk away!
Ow.
She stomped on me with her bony, old foot.
-You want me to rub it?
You rub it.
-Why would you do it?
-Gordon--
-I invite you guys to my wedding.
I pay for your plane rides, and you go and steal my honey.
-He didn't try to steal Jodi away from you.
-Hey, do you know if they got any tartar sauce for these fish
sticks?
Fine, I'll use the beef mustard.
-Jeez.
Jeez.
-How are we going to fix this?
-I don't know.
But we can't just let the poor guy-- is he behind me?
-Uh-huh.
-Hello, Jeb.
-I should have been the best man, not you.
-It wasn't my choi-- how do you like me grabbing your lip?
-I don't.
-I know.
-Ah.
Ah.
OK.
I know what to do.
Ah!
Ho.
-Happy birthday.
-What is that, your catch phrase?
Hey.
Hey, excuse me miss lady?
-Yes?
-There's a $5 bill up in that tree.
Help me get it?
-But I don't know you.
-Well, after we get the money, maybe we
could go grab some coffee or something.
-All right.
-Jody, you need to marry Gordon.
-But you don't understand.
When Spencer and I first made eye contact,
you could just feel the chemistry between us, right?
-Oh.
No.
I just-- you're so funny.
-Ah, more cackling.
-Come on.
You don't really Spencer.
-I'm a mess.
-Such a mess.
-He has no job.
-Who would hire me?
-He doesn't hang out with anyone his own age.
-I've never been popular.
-He drinks milk in the shower.
-All naked and wet.
-Oh.
And he hasn't had a steady girlfriend since high school.
-OK.
Well, maybe not a steady girlfriend per se--
-And look at his flat butt.
-Too far.
-Ah.
Ow.
Ah.
-Can you reach it?
-I don't think so.
-Come on, lady.
Stretch.
-My name is Hazel.
-Well, stretch, Hazel.
-Ah.
-Hey.
Where you going?
-Don't worry about it.
-Sweet.
-Ugh.
-Come on.
-No, no, no, no, nope, no.
-You can do this.
-No.
I can't get up in front of everybody
and sing my song to Jodi-- no.
-My butt is not flat.
-Yeah, it is.
-You want to lose her forever?
-I-- heck no.
The last time I tried to sing this song on "iCarly,"
I almost lost my urine.
-That's only because you knew a million
people were watching you.
-This will just be in front of your friends and family.
-When Jodi hears you sing that awesome song to her that you
wrote yourself, she'll realise she's still in love with you.
-This looks flat?
-Come on.
You can sing it right on that stage.
-Just sing the song, Gordon.
-Come on.
It's like too fresh apples back here.
-Wha--
-Ah.
Ow.
Get it.
-A-- almost there.
Ah.
Whoa.
-Ah!
-I got it!
Five-buckareenos, baby.
Woo!
Yeah!
Thanks, Hazel.
Good job.
Hazel?
-Go Gibby!
-You saw nothing.
-Are we still going to get coffee?
Uh.
-Um, I know most of you were expecting a wedding.
-We all were.
-Thank you, lady who hurt my foot.
But right now, the groom would like
to sing a special song he wrote just for his bride, Jodi.
GORDON: No, no, no, nope.
-Gordon?
-OK, um--
[STAMMERING]
[FEEDBACK]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-Oh my god.
Ow.
[STAMMERING]
(SINGING) Shakespeare.
No.
Ow.
Oh, gosh.
[GASPS]
-(WHISPERING) Stop.
What happened?
-I sprung a leak in my trousers.
-Come on.
Just get back up there and sing the song.
-No way, I'm soaking wet.
I'm still peeing right now.
-Oh, gosh.
-Whoa, that's--
-Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.
You could sing my song for me.
-What?
No!
-Why not?
-Sam!
-Please, Carly.
You are my only hope.
-I don't even know the song.
-You said you listened to it a hundred times.
You know it.
You could sing the song for me, please.
-But I--
-I'm floating in my own shoes.
Please.
-Give me the mic. [SIGHS]
-Knock them dead, kid.
-We're never coming back to Wisconsin.
Could you please help me look less ridiculous?
This and this, thank you.
Here.
This.
Ruffle.
Just, flower.
Just-- Um, there's going to be a slight change in plans.
Gordon's a little emotional and damp.
So now, I will be singing Gordon's song for him to Jodi.
ALL: Aw.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING) I saw you there, so beautiful.
You stopped and stared, so magical.
Then you ask me for my name, and we took an uptown train.
Before you leave, get up to go, I want to know,
do you like Shakespeare?
Jeff Buckley?
Watching movies on Sunday?
Do you like kissing when it's raining,
making faces in the station?
Do you like?
I need to know what you like before you go.
Oh, oh.
Do you like Shakespeare?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just you and me on Sunday.
Oh, oh.
Do you like?
Yeah.
-Let's hear it for my little sister, Carly Shay!
Yeah!
Whoo!
Now who's ready to see Gordon and Jodi get married?
ALL: Whoo!
Yeah!
-And you agree that my butt is not flat?
[ANIMAL SOUNDS]
-Well, that was embarrassing.
-Seriously.
It's like the writers don't even try anymore.