1 00:00:11,166 --> 00:00:12,875 Oh, class was so boring. 2 00:00:12,917 --> 00:00:14,917 How would you know? You were asleep the whole time. 3 00:00:16,208 --> 00:00:18,375 Then I guess I dreamed class was boring. 4 00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:19,875 Well, your dream came true. 5 00:00:20,417 --> 00:00:22,875 Hey! Guess what I got from the audio-visual department? 6 00:00:23,417 --> 00:00:24,834 Whoa! 7 00:00:24,875 --> 00:00:26,748 So cool! Amazing! Awesome! That's incredible! 8 00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,875 We don't know what it is. No, and don't care. 9 00:00:29,583 --> 00:00:31,250 It's called a green screen. 10 00:00:31,291 --> 00:00:33,375 We can use it for special effects on iCarly. 11 00:00:33,417 --> 00:00:36,000 You guys stand in front of it, and I have this software 12 00:00:36,041 --> 00:00:38,375 that can make it any kind of background we want. 13 00:00:38,417 --> 00:00:40,581 Oh, so you could make it look like we were in a snow storm 14 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:41,832 or standing on the moon or something? 15 00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,208 Exactly. 16 00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:45,290 Can you make it look like I'm standing on your face? 17 00:00:45,709 --> 00:00:47,667 Must you always attack me with words? 18 00:00:47,709 --> 00:00:48,959 You want me to use rocks? 19 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:50,709 Hey, guys! 20 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:51,709 Hi, Tareen. Oh, man. 21 00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:52,959 You'll never guess who I saw 22 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,206 at the Cuddlefish concert last night. 23 00:00:54,208 --> 00:00:56,333 Who'd you see at the concert? 24 00:00:56,375 --> 00:00:59,498 Our history teacher, Mr. Stern. Look, I got a picture of him at the concert last night. 25 00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:01,781 Look at it, look at the phone, Are you looking at it? 26 00:01:01,783 --> 00:01:02,542 Yes, we see! 27 00:01:02,583 --> 00:01:03,709 That's Mr. Stern? 28 00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:05,000 Is he wearing shorts? 29 00:01:05,041 --> 00:01:06,375 Teachers shouldn't wear shorts. 30 00:01:06,417 --> 00:01:07,792 No. 31 00:01:08,166 --> 00:01:10,000 It looks like he's stage diving. 32 00:01:10,041 --> 00:01:11,581 He was! It was insane, I still can't believe it 33 00:01:11,583 --> 00:01:13,415 and I'm the one who took the picture with my cell phone. 34 00:01:13,417 --> 00:01:15,625 Can you believe Mr. Stern was at the concert? 35 00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:16,750 I can't, I gotta go. 36 00:01:19,709 --> 00:01:21,309 I like Tareen, but after she talks to me, 37 00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:22,417 I feel like I need a nap. 38 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,750 I can't believe Mr. Stern would go to a concert. 39 00:01:25,792 --> 00:01:27,472 Yeah, you don't really think about teachers 40 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:28,917 having lives outside of school. 41 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:30,164 I always thought they just locked them up 42 00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:31,750 in the teacher's lounge at night. 43 00:01:33,291 --> 00:01:34,333 Hey, get to class. 44 00:01:35,709 --> 00:01:37,083 You, stop laughing. 45 00:01:37,625 --> 00:01:39,291 I said get to class! 46 00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:41,625 Respect the bullhorn! 47 00:01:43,208 --> 00:01:45,166 That Ms. Briggs is a joy, isn't she? 48 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,250 I wonder what she does when she's not in school. 49 00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:50,917 She probably spits on puppies. 50 00:01:51,834 --> 00:01:53,083 Hey, you, get to class. 51 00:01:54,125 --> 00:01:55,498 Hey, that could be a really cool idea 52 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:56,625 for our web show. 53 00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:57,875 We spit on puppies? 54 00:01:58,625 --> 00:02:00,250 I meant we could do a whole segment 55 00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:02,417 on what mean teachers do when they're not in school. 56 00:02:02,458 --> 00:02:03,709 Nice. 57 00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:05,250 I love her brain. 58 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,625 My brain says thanks. 59 00:02:07,583 --> 00:02:08,750 Come on! Keep going! Move! 60 00:02:09,625 --> 00:02:11,291 So, how do we do this? 61 00:02:11,542 --> 00:02:13,415 We follow Ms. Briggs around after school, you know, 62 00:02:13,417 --> 00:02:15,583 with a video camera and just see what she does. 63 00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:16,917 And what if she's boring? 64 00:02:16,959 --> 00:02:18,625 Yeah, what if she's not mean? 65 00:02:19,542 --> 00:02:21,125 Ms. Briggs, 66 00:02:21,166 --> 00:02:22,926 I picked you an orange from my mother's tree. 67 00:02:23,792 --> 00:02:25,625 I hate citrus fruit. 68 00:02:27,583 --> 00:02:28,875 Now get to class! 69 00:02:30,125 --> 00:02:31,792 I'm thinking she'll be mean. 70 00:02:32,792 --> 00:02:36,917 In five, four, three, two... 71 00:02:39,625 --> 00:02:41,500 ♪ I know you see ♪ 72 00:02:42,125 --> 00:02:43,792 ♪ Somehow the world Will change for me ♪ 73 00:02:43,834 --> 00:02:46,917 ♪ And be so wonderful ♪ 74 00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:50,500 ♪ Live life, breathe air ♪ 75 00:02:50,542 --> 00:02:53,166 ♪ I know somehow We're gonna get there ♪ 76 00:02:53,208 --> 00:02:55,417 ♪ And feel so wonderful ♪ 77 00:02:57,875 --> 00:03:01,291 ♪ It's all for real ♪ 78 00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:03,583 ♪ I'm telling you Just how I feel ♪ 79 00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:07,625 ♪ So wake up the members Of my nation ♪ 80 00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:09,375 ♪ It's your time to be ♪ 81 00:03:09,417 --> 00:03:12,417 ♪ There's no chance Unless you take one ♪ 82 00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:15,125 ♪ And the time To see the brighter side ♪ 83 00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:18,083 ♪ Of every situation ♪ 84 00:03:18,125 --> 00:03:20,333 ♪ Some things are meant to be ♪ 85 00:03:20,375 --> 00:03:23,166 ♪ So give me your best And leave the rest to me ♪ 86 00:03:23,917 --> 00:03:25,333 ♪ Leave it all to me ♪ 87 00:03:25,875 --> 00:03:27,959 ♪ Leave it all to me ♪ 88 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,917 ♪ Just leave it all to me ♪ 89 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:43,041 OK, 90 00:03:43,083 --> 00:03:45,500 inside this box is a new piece of technological equipment 91 00:03:45,542 --> 00:03:47,458 that's gonna blow you guys away. 92 00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:48,709 What is it? 93 00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,150 You buy yourself a robot girlfriend? 94 00:03:51,583 --> 00:03:54,250 I don't need a robot girlfriend, 95 00:03:54,291 --> 00:03:56,041 'Cause 20 years from now, I guarantee you 96 00:03:56,083 --> 00:03:57,834 I will be Carly's second husband. 97 00:04:00,083 --> 00:04:01,542 What happened to my first husband? 98 00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:02,709 Nothing you can prove. 99 00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:04,917 Just show us what's in the box 100 00:04:04,959 --> 00:04:06,119 before I get bored and leave. 101 00:04:07,750 --> 00:04:09,083 There's nothing boring about 102 00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:10,248 being able to videotape Ms. Briggs 103 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,041 with no chance of her finding out. 104 00:04:12,083 --> 00:04:13,709 What did you get? 105 00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:16,917 A teeny video camera disguised as a piece of pie. 106 00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:22,875 Yeah, who wouldn't that fool? 107 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,458 It looks real. 108 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,750 Yes, a real gigantic piece of plastic pie 109 00:04:28,792 --> 00:04:30,333 with a camera lens on the side. 110 00:04:32,583 --> 00:04:34,834 Look, it comes with a giant fork. 111 00:04:35,333 --> 00:04:36,959 Give it! 112 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,834 This is a quality piece of spy equipment. 113 00:04:38,875 --> 00:04:40,959 My Aunt Maggie's boobs look more real than that, 114 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,750 and they're ridiculous. 115 00:04:43,875 --> 00:04:45,166 I really don't think 116 00:04:45,208 --> 00:04:46,415 you're going to fool anyone with that thing. 117 00:04:46,417 --> 00:04:47,500 Oh, you don't? 118 00:04:47,542 --> 00:04:49,000 Where's Spencer? 119 00:04:49,041 --> 00:04:50,456 Downstairs with some girl he's been going out with. 120 00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,041 B-R-B. 121 00:04:55,041 --> 00:04:57,083 Come on, please? No. 122 00:04:57,417 --> 00:04:58,625 Pretty please? 123 00:04:58,667 --> 00:05:00,125 No, Spencer. 124 00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:01,750 Pretty please with sugar on top? 125 00:05:01,792 --> 00:05:03,834 I'm diabetic, and I said no. 126 00:05:04,750 --> 00:05:06,000 I'll be your best buddy. 127 00:05:06,583 --> 00:05:08,083 Oh, alright. 128 00:05:13,709 --> 00:05:14,750 Yes. 129 00:05:15,291 --> 00:05:16,834 That is... 130 00:05:21,959 --> 00:05:23,166 Don't mind me. 131 00:05:23,208 --> 00:05:24,792 I'm just a guy having' some pie. 132 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:28,500 Hey, is that one of those pie spy video cameras? 133 00:05:28,542 --> 00:05:29,709 No, it is not. 134 00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:32,540 Oh yeah, they were talking about those 135 00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:34,041 on the food channel. 136 00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:35,500 Or was it the spy channel? 137 00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:37,166 You know, I think it was the spy channel. 138 00:05:37,625 --> 00:05:39,375 I don't know what you guy are talking about. 139 00:05:39,417 --> 00:05:41,208 This is just a normal piece of pie 140 00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:43,375 that doesn't record anything. 141 00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:45,583 But there's a big lens on the side. 142 00:05:46,125 --> 00:05:47,417 Oh, just forget it! 143 00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:03,750 Two hours of boring. 144 00:06:04,709 --> 00:06:06,331 I think we've learned what mean teachers do 145 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:07,583 when they're not at school. 146 00:06:07,625 --> 00:06:09,417 Yep, nothing interesting enough 147 00:06:09,458 --> 00:06:10,709 to put in our webcast. 148 00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:11,750 Nope. 149 00:06:12,542 --> 00:06:14,375 Hey, hey. She's opening her door. 150 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,083 She's just taking out her trash. 151 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,125 Hey! Go away! 152 00:06:25,166 --> 00:06:26,959 Get out of here! It's just a bee. 153 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,208 You don't understand, 154 00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:30,333 I am extremely allergic to bees. 155 00:06:30,375 --> 00:06:32,542 Get out of here, you stupid bee! 156 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,333 I think he wants my pie. 157 00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:35,750 That is a stupid bee. 158 00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:39,083 Whoa! Ow! 159 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:44,583 Where are you going? I can't get stung! 160 00:06:44,875 --> 00:06:46,125 Are you insane? 161 00:06:46,166 --> 00:06:47,289 Get out of Ms. Briggs' apartment. 162 00:06:47,291 --> 00:06:49,333 You can't just... get away! 163 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,083 It's a fake pie! 164 00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:54,041 Can't you see the big lens on the side? 165 00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,500 It's a fake pie! 166 00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:02,333 Come on! We can't stay in here. 167 00:07:02,375 --> 00:07:03,873 If Ms. Briggs catches us, we're dead. Let's go! 168 00:07:03,875 --> 00:07:05,667 No! That bee's still out there, 169 00:07:05,709 --> 00:07:07,250 and by now he know my pie was fake. 170 00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:08,750 He's gonna be madder than ever. 171 00:07:09,792 --> 00:07:10,834 Here she comes! 172 00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:17,333 Go in there! Aah! 173 00:07:17,375 --> 00:07:18,667 Ah! Sorry! 174 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,333 Now what do we do? Shh, I'm thinking. 175 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:27,125 You know, this might not be so bad. 176 00:07:27,917 --> 00:07:32,083 Just you and me, together, alone. 177 00:07:32,542 --> 00:07:34,625 OK, we are in a serious situation here. 178 00:07:34,667 --> 00:07:36,750 This is no time for you to bust a move. 179 00:07:37,709 --> 00:07:39,041 Sorry. 180 00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:40,875 We cannot let Ms. Briggs find us. 181 00:07:40,917 --> 00:07:43,291 Well, maybe we can wait until she goes into another room 182 00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:44,542 then we can make a run for it. 183 00:07:44,583 --> 00:07:45,959 Maybe. now, shh. 184 00:08:02,375 --> 00:08:04,667 What's she doing? You don't wanna know. 185 00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:12,917 Hey, thanks for doing this. 186 00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:13,959 No prob. 187 00:08:15,834 --> 00:08:17,707 How come you're not hanging with Carly and Freddie? 188 00:08:17,709 --> 00:08:19,709 A person can only take so much Freddie. 189 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,500 How come you didn't ask 190 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:22,707 your new girlfriend to model for you? 191 00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:24,208 I broke up with Connie. 192 00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:27,000 Found out she was juggling for other guys. 193 00:08:28,166 --> 00:08:29,792 Oh, sorry. 194 00:08:29,834 --> 00:08:30,959 Yeah, it hurt. 195 00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:33,917 So, how do I be a sculpture model? 196 00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:37,458 You just sit over there and do nothing. 197 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,750 Cool, just like school. 198 00:08:49,792 --> 00:08:50,959 Yes! 199 00:08:52,583 --> 00:08:53,959 77... 200 00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:55,834 78... 201 00:08:56,583 --> 00:08:58,500 79. 202 00:09:00,709 --> 00:09:02,500 So many leg lifts. 203 00:09:04,417 --> 00:09:06,667 I think I found the light switch, shut the door! 204 00:09:11,208 --> 00:09:12,417 Shh! 205 00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:28,417 Freddie. Yeah? 206 00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:30,041 Am I hallucinating 207 00:09:30,083 --> 00:09:32,333 or are we surrounded by 2,000 Randy Jacksons? 208 00:09:34,417 --> 00:09:36,458 Why does Ms. Briggs have all this stuff? 209 00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:37,709 I don't know. 210 00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:39,039 I guess if you're gonna be obsessed 211 00:09:39,041 --> 00:09:40,667 with an American Idol judge, 212 00:09:40,709 --> 00:09:42,589 you might as well pick one that's firm but fair. 213 00:09:46,959 --> 00:09:49,333 Yeah dog, you did your thing. 214 00:09:51,208 --> 00:09:52,583 You want Ms. Briggs to hear us? 215 00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,291 Randy said it, not me! 216 00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:00,959 She's coming! Hide! 217 00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:05,709 No! That was hot, yo! 218 00:10:05,750 --> 00:10:07,834 Aw, please be quiet, Randy Jackson. 219 00:10:19,792 --> 00:10:23,834 Well, good afternoon, Randy Jackson. 220 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:28,083 Oh, you are looking spiffy today. 221 00:10:28,333 --> 00:10:32,125 Now, is there something you'd like to say to me? 222 00:10:32,375 --> 00:10:35,166 Yeah, we got us a hot one tonight, baby! 223 00:10:35,208 --> 00:10:37,041 Oh! 224 00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:38,166 Oh, R.J. 225 00:10:39,458 --> 00:10:42,083 You know, I just finished my workout. 226 00:10:42,583 --> 00:10:46,375 Would you like to see how toned my glutes are? 227 00:10:51,875 --> 00:10:53,542 So this is seriously the first time 228 00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:55,333 you've ever modeled for a sculpture? 229 00:10:55,375 --> 00:10:57,041 First time. How am I doing? 230 00:10:57,083 --> 00:10:58,250 Good. 231 00:10:58,291 --> 00:10:59,375 Can I... sneak a peek? 232 00:10:59,417 --> 00:11:01,583 Uh, yeah, sure. Why not? 233 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,333 Spencer? Mhm? 234 00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:09,542 That's a fish. 235 00:11:10,583 --> 00:11:13,083 Yeah. A tuna. 236 00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:15,125 Or I suppose you could argue it's a trout 237 00:11:15,166 --> 00:11:16,998 you know, 'cause of the way his lip curls up right here. 238 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,206 I thought you were sculpting me for the past three hours. 239 00:11:19,208 --> 00:11:20,750 Well, I started off sculpting you, 240 00:11:20,792 --> 00:11:22,331 but then I started thinking about aquariums 241 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,333 and... he happened. 242 00:11:26,208 --> 00:11:27,667 Then why am I still here? 243 00:11:27,709 --> 00:11:29,041 I get lonely. 244 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,250 What? Sam, listen! 245 00:11:36,291 --> 00:11:37,998 Freddie and I are stuck hiding in the closet 246 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,333 in Ms. Briggs' apartment. 247 00:11:39,375 --> 00:11:40,709 Really? That's some nutty stuff. 248 00:11:41,709 --> 00:11:42,959 Will you just get over here? 249 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,208 On my way. 250 00:11:46,458 --> 00:11:47,667 Sam's on her way. 251 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,041 And will you quit eating the Randy-Yos? 252 00:12:01,750 --> 00:12:04,458 No way, she's torturing Carly and Freddie? 253 00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:10,250 Freddie, you're so stupid. 254 00:12:16,291 --> 00:12:17,583 Bagpipes? 255 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,125 Eww. 256 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,291 This is torture. 257 00:12:26,709 --> 00:12:28,041 Sam? Yeah. 258 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:29,709 Where are you? 259 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,250 I'm right outside on the patio. 260 00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:33,123 What's the plan, man? OK, you call Ms. Briggs 261 00:12:33,125 --> 00:12:34,456 and keep her distracted on the phone 262 00:12:34,458 --> 00:12:35,832 while Freddie and I sneak out the front door. 263 00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:37,333 One distraction, coming up. 264 00:12:37,375 --> 00:12:38,832 Give me 60 seconds, then go for the door. 265 00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:39,917 See you on the outside. 266 00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:53,750 Briggs. 267 00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:57,709 Hello ma'am, have you purchased any suspicious milk lately? 268 00:12:58,792 --> 00:13:01,333 Suspicious milk? Who is this? 269 00:13:01,375 --> 00:13:04,542 Uh, this is Agent McMuffin 270 00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:08,542 with the Federal Bureau of Milk. 271 00:13:09,375 --> 00:13:10,375 The FBM? 272 00:13:10,417 --> 00:13:11,959 Uh, sure. 273 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:15,625 See, there have been reports of counterfeit milk 274 00:13:15,667 --> 00:13:17,875 and other dairy products in the Seattle area. 275 00:13:17,917 --> 00:13:19,542 Oh, sweet mother. 276 00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:22,500 I just bought a tub of Zingleberry yogurt yesterday. 277 00:13:22,542 --> 00:13:24,208 It's OK, ma'am. 278 00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:26,210 Just remain calm and proceed to your refrigerator. 279 00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:27,458 Of course. 280 00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:30,458 Moron. 281 00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:34,959 It's been 60 seconds. 282 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,373 Let's make our move and get out of here. 283 00:13:36,375 --> 00:13:37,667 Wait. 284 00:13:38,959 --> 00:13:39,959 OK, ready. 285 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,250 What'd you put in your pocket? 286 00:13:44,208 --> 00:13:45,417 Randy Jackson cologne? 287 00:13:46,542 --> 00:13:47,667 Why do you want this? 288 00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:51,542 'Cause... it smells tight, dawg. 289 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,208 The milk smells just fine to me. 290 00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:57,875 Are you sure there's a dairy prob... 291 00:13:57,917 --> 00:13:59,583 We're losing precious time! 292 00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:03,041 I already checked my milk and the tub of yogurt. 293 00:14:03,083 --> 00:14:06,041 Yeah, but... you better inspect 294 00:14:06,083 --> 00:14:09,208 that cottage cheese on the top shelf. 295 00:14:09,250 --> 00:14:10,625 Alright. 296 00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:12,250 But I don't see why the... 297 00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:15,695 How did you know my cottage cheese 298 00:14:15,709 --> 00:14:17,417 was on the top shelf? 299 00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:22,625 'Cause I'm a professional, ma'am. 300 00:14:27,041 --> 00:14:28,709 Uh, don't go near your patio door. 301 00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:29,832 There's a dairy monster on the loose 302 00:14:29,834 --> 00:14:30,954 and you don't want to see... 303 00:14:32,291 --> 00:14:33,667 Busted! Now, get inside! 304 00:14:33,709 --> 00:14:34,583 But I can explain. 305 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,166 I'm sure you can. 306 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:39,250 I can. See, I'm doing this school project on... 307 00:14:39,291 --> 00:14:41,750 On... how ladies react 308 00:14:41,792 --> 00:14:44,083 when they think their dairy products... 309 00:14:44,125 --> 00:14:45,500 Freddie! 310 00:14:49,709 --> 00:14:51,625 Surprise! Surprise! 311 00:14:52,583 --> 00:14:54,750 Yeah, happy birthday, Ms. Briggs! 312 00:14:54,792 --> 00:14:57,041 Let's sing our public domain birthday song! 313 00:14:58,208 --> 00:15:01,166 ♪ For she's A jolly good fellow ♪ 314 00:15:01,208 --> 00:15:02,667 ♪ For she's A jolly good fellow ♪ 315 00:15:02,709 --> 00:15:04,291 It's not my birthday! 316 00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:05,625 Whoops, then, we better go. 317 00:15:05,917 --> 00:15:07,458 Come on, kids. Stop! 318 00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:12,458 Happy... Hanukkah? 319 00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:15,583 Kwanza? 320 00:15:21,166 --> 00:15:24,792 Uh... I'm sorry I tripped on your bagpipes. 321 00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:25,834 Are they OK? No. 322 00:15:27,542 --> 00:15:30,500 He dented my blow stick and punctured my squeeze bag. 323 00:15:31,792 --> 00:15:33,750 Freddie'll pay to have your bagpipes fixed. 324 00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:35,625 And you think that'll get 325 00:15:35,667 --> 00:15:36,748 the three of you out of trouble? 326 00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,875 Well, we were kinda hoping. 327 00:15:39,834 --> 00:15:41,041 I don't think so. 328 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,792 Breaking into a teacher's home, 329 00:15:44,834 --> 00:15:46,792 damaging property, 330 00:15:46,834 --> 00:15:49,291 impersonating a dairy agent. 331 00:15:49,834 --> 00:15:51,542 I could have you expelled. 332 00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:53,625 I might even call the police. 333 00:15:53,667 --> 00:15:55,291 Or you could let us run away 334 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:56,915 while you angrily shake your fist in the air 335 00:15:56,917 --> 00:15:59,959 and scream, "You rotten kids!" 336 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:05,250 Look, Ms. Briggs, 337 00:16:05,291 --> 00:16:06,959 we never meant to sneak into your house. 338 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,500 Then explain why you did. 339 00:16:08,542 --> 00:16:11,625 Well, we were videotaping you for our web show 340 00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:14,625 to see what teachers are like when they're not in school. 341 00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:17,625 Ah, your web show, iCarly. 342 00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:18,792 I've seen it. 343 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:23,792 Nothing more than mucus in the nose of the digital age. 344 00:16:23,834 --> 00:16:25,458 Did she just call our show a booger? 345 00:16:27,375 --> 00:16:28,834 ICarly's great. 346 00:16:28,875 --> 00:16:30,792 Thousands of people watch it every week. 347 00:16:31,417 --> 00:16:32,542 Thousands? 348 00:16:32,583 --> 00:16:33,792 That's a pretty big booger. 349 00:16:35,375 --> 00:16:39,333 Hmm, well, since you're so interested 350 00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:41,041 in showing your viewers 351 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,250 what teachers do outside of school, 352 00:16:43,917 --> 00:16:47,250 I think I have a solution that will benefit us all. 353 00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:48,875 What solution? 354 00:16:48,917 --> 00:16:52,166 I won't suspend you from school or call the police 355 00:16:52,208 --> 00:16:56,083 if you let me perform an original bagpipe song 356 00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:57,125 on your web show. 357 00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,083 You wanna be on iCarly? 358 00:17:00,125 --> 00:17:01,917 Just call the cops on us. Sam! 359 00:17:03,583 --> 00:17:05,208 Why would you even wanna be on our show? 360 00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:08,834 Because, I see this as a great opportunity 361 00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:11,041 to show the world some culture, 362 00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:14,583 To teach young people about fine music. 363 00:17:14,625 --> 00:17:15,542 Don't do it, Carls. 364 00:17:15,583 --> 00:17:17,000 She's not even playing it 365 00:17:17,041 --> 00:17:18,625 and I'm already bored out of my mind. 366 00:17:19,709 --> 00:17:21,375 Look, Ms. Briggs, I... 367 00:17:21,417 --> 00:17:23,583 Put me on your webcast or I will have you suspended 368 00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:25,500 for breaking into my house. 369 00:17:25,542 --> 00:17:27,902 And I will file a report with the Seattle Police Department. 370 00:17:28,375 --> 00:17:30,375 Your choice. 371 00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:40,709 In five, four, three, two. 372 00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,041 Hey, there. Welcome to iCarly. 373 00:17:43,458 --> 00:17:45,250 I'm Sam. I'm Carly. 374 00:17:45,291 --> 00:17:46,792 Blah blah. Blah blah. 375 00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:50,750 Hey! Just read the introduction I gave you. 376 00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:55,750 Uh, tonight on iCarly, 377 00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:58,875 instead of the worthless trash we usually do here, 378 00:18:00,625 --> 00:18:02,125 uh, please prepare to enjoy 379 00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:03,917 some fine music played on the bagpipes 380 00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:05,875 by Ms. Francine Briggs. 381 00:18:09,041 --> 00:18:10,583 Oops, wrong button. 382 00:18:10,625 --> 00:18:11,625 Give me that. 383 00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:14,083 And now, here she is playing 384 00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:15,834 an original song she composed herself 385 00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:18,041 called "Haggis and Moonlight," 386 00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:20,875 please welcome the lovely and talented 387 00:18:20,917 --> 00:18:22,917 Ms. Francine Briggs. 388 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:29,458 Thank you. 389 00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:34,583 And now, for some real, enriching entertainment. 390 00:18:42,875 --> 00:18:45,083 This is so horrible. 391 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,000 Well, maybe we don't have 392 00:18:48,041 --> 00:18:49,917 that big of an audience tonight. 393 00:18:50,583 --> 00:18:52,417 Sorry, look. 394 00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:54,415 Whoa, all those people are streaming us right now? 395 00:18:54,417 --> 00:18:56,125 Biggest audience we've ever had. 396 00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:57,665 Yeah, and they all want us to be out there 397 00:18:57,667 --> 00:18:59,083 doing something funny. 398 00:19:00,250 --> 00:19:01,792 Hey, hey, look at that. 399 00:19:03,083 --> 00:19:04,417 Why is the number dropping? 400 00:19:04,458 --> 00:19:05,959 'Cause people are turning us off. 401 00:19:06,291 --> 00:19:08,083 We've lost over 10% of our audience 402 00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:09,583 in less than two minutes. 403 00:19:09,625 --> 00:19:11,166 This is a disaster. 404 00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,583 Do you know how hard we worked to get that audience? 405 00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:15,709 And Briggs is gonna ruin it in one night. 406 00:19:16,583 --> 00:19:19,834 Look, already 20% of our audience, gone. 407 00:19:24,917 --> 00:19:28,166 Man, this webcast is suckish. 408 00:19:30,208 --> 00:19:31,917 I'd rather watch you. 409 00:19:35,834 --> 00:19:39,333 Yeah! Go, balls, go! 410 00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:49,625 How long is this song? 411 00:19:50,375 --> 00:19:51,917 I don't even think it's half over. 412 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,959 Well we've almost lost over half of our viewers. 413 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,291 We gotta do something. 414 00:20:04,417 --> 00:20:05,583 What? What do you want? 415 00:20:05,625 --> 00:20:06,792 The green screen. 416 00:20:07,417 --> 00:20:09,875 What about the green screen? Do you have it set up? 417 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:10,998 Yeah, but I haven't tried it yet. 418 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,250 I was gonna test it out... 419 00:20:12,291 --> 00:20:13,498 Test it now. Or I'll test it now. 420 00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:14,709 He'll test it now. 421 00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:18,250 \ 422 00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:15,291 Hey, watch me juggle. 423 00:21:16,250 --> 00:21:17,583 No way, baby. 424 00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:20,709 This iCarly web show is high-larious! 425 00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:29,375 She's completely unaware of the changing backgrounds! 426 00:21:35,166 --> 00:21:36,500 We're getting the audience back. 427 00:21:36,542 --> 00:21:37,834 Yeah! Hit me. 428 00:21:42,458 --> 00:21:43,458 Thank you. 429 00:21:46,041 --> 00:21:48,542 Aw! Your song's over? 430 00:21:48,583 --> 00:21:49,500 Do another one. 431 00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:51,792 Yeah! Come on, Ms. Briggs! 432 00:21:51,834 --> 00:21:53,000 Do this! Come on! 433 00:21:53,041 --> 00:21:54,208 Oh, Alright. 434 00:22:15,375 --> 00:22:17,792 Hey, there's Ms. Briggs! 435 00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:24,500 Thank you. Thank you all. 436 00:22:26,291 --> 00:22:28,875 You see? That silly comedy you girls do 437 00:22:28,917 --> 00:22:32,375 is no match for my true musical artistry. 438 00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:34,417 You are so right. 439 00:22:34,458 --> 00:22:36,542 Thank you for teaching us that important lesson. 440 00:22:36,583 --> 00:22:38,542 Certainly. 441 00:22:41,709 --> 00:22:42,792 Freddie. 442 00:22:44,417 --> 00:22:45,500 Mmm. 443 00:22:47,583 --> 00:22:51,625 Mmm! You smell delightful. 444 00:22:51,667 --> 00:22:53,291 Thanks, Ms. Briggs. 445 00:22:53,333 --> 00:22:54,458 Mmm. 446 00:22:58,959 --> 00:23:00,625 Randy Jackson cologne? 447 00:23:01,583 --> 00:23:03,125 It smells tight, dawg. 448 00:23:10,417 --> 00:23:11,834 Hey! You there. 449 00:23:11,875 --> 00:23:14,083 You wanna see us do stuff you can't see anywhere else? 450 00:23:14,125 --> 00:23:15,834 Do ya? I think they do. 451 00:23:15,875 --> 00:23:17,709 Then go online to iCarly.com. 452 00:23:17,750 --> 00:23:19,417 Yeah, go to iCarly.com. 453 00:23:19,458 --> 00:23:21,875 Once you get to iCarly.com, you can see me and Carly. 454 00:23:21,917 --> 00:23:23,417 And Freddie and Spencer 455 00:23:23,458 --> 00:23:25,041 do all kinds of wacky, fun stuff. 456 00:23:25,083 --> 00:23:26,834 You know you like wacky, fun stuff. 457 00:23:26,875 --> 00:23:28,792 So go online to iCarly.com. 458 00:23:28,834 --> 00:23:30,750 And see stuff you can't see anywhere else. 459 00:23:30,792 --> 00:23:32,208 Only at iCarly.com. 460 00:23:32,250 --> 00:23:33,333 So go there! Do it! 461 00:23:33,375 --> 00:23:34,583 Seriously! 462 00:23:34,917 --> 00:23:36,041 Mmm!