NARRATOR: Christopher Cane presents
"An Evening with 'iCarly.'"
-Good evening, and thank you for inviting
me into your living rooms.
Of course, my name is Christopher Cane.
On the television show "Victorious,"
I play the role of Rex alongside my bumbling sidekick, Robbie.
My popularity is undeniable, as evidenced
by my two Golden Globe nominations.
[APPLAUSE]
-Thank you.
Tonight I will be interviewing the cast
and showing bloopers from "iCarly," a show I've never
seen, but apparently is wildly popular.
You may not know this, but I, Christopher Cane,
almost auditioned for "iCarly."
Let's have a look.
DIRECTOR: OK, I want you to go ahead and slate for us.
-Christopher Cane, rage talent, auditioning
for the role of Spencer on "iCarly."
DIRECTOR: Right.
You ready?
-Yes.
I read the script last night.
DIRECTOR: Awesome.
-Is it supposed to be funny?
DIRECTOR: Why don't you just read the scene?
-No.
I don't think I'm interested in playing this role.
DIRECTOR: OK.
Fine.
Who's auditioning next?
MAN: Uh, Jerry Trainor.
-Jerry Trainor?
[LAUGHTER] I hope you enjoy scream acting.
DIRECTOR: Please leave.
-Could I get this validated?
JERRY: Hey, everyone!
[SCREAM]
[GROAN]
-By turning down the role of Spencer,
I was able to spend that summer with my wife,
Deedee-- who disgusts me.
And now, my first guest.
She stars as Carly's best friend and quintessential sasspot,
Sam Puckett.
Please welcome a girl who's clearly
to my right, Jennette McCurdy.
-Hey, Christopher.
It's cool to be here.
-Oh.
You like salsa?
-Salsa?
-Yes, I do have my own brand of salsa,
called Christopher Cane's Salsa.
It tastes good.
Let's give Jennette a jar of my salsa.
MAN: We don't have any.
-We-- we don't have one here?
Really?
No one has a jar of my salsa here?
[GROAN] Apple juice?
-Uh, no. No, thanks.
I'm good.
-Then what do you want?
-You know, you could interview me.
-About what?
-"iCarly."
-I'm on "Victorious."
-Yeah.
Yeah.
Awesome show.
-Yes.
We were nominated for an Emmy.
-I know.
So was "iCarly.".
-Oh, we have my salsa now?
Good.
Bring it in.
-Um, what am I supposed to do with this?
-Look into the x camera and say, Christopher Cane's Salsa
rocks my mouth.
-I really don't feel comfortable doing that.
-Ryan Seacrest said it.
He ate the whole jar.
-OK.
Are you saying you're better than Ryan Seacrest?
-I never said I was better than anybody--
-Look into the x camera and say it.
-Fine.
Christopher Cane's Salsa rocks my mouth.
-Try it with more enthusiasm.
-No.
I said it, now let's just watch my bloopers, OK?
-You're very pushy.
But all right.
-Mm.
Oh.
What do they put in this lasagna to make it so--
-What?
-No!
My quesadillas!
-The smart guy from the smoothie?
-Yeah.
DIRECTOR: Cut!
-Oh, jeez.
I--
DIRECTOR: Cut!
-5, 4, 3, 2-- Yep.
-Shut up!
DIRECTOR: Cut!
-Are you OK?
-Oh, yeah.
I almost lost a foot there.
-Let's freestyle.
[BEATBOXING]
-I told you I could do that!
-No, I can do better than you!
-(SINGING) My moustache is dangling from my face.
-It's like-- Sorry.
[SHOUTING]
-Sam loves Freddie!
-Quit it!
-Sam loves Freddie!
-Carly!
-Sam loves Freddie!
-I'm good.
Uh, so, should we talk some more about my role on "iCarly?"
-No.
Off you go.
Now, if you're excited about seeing a good guest tonight,
you'll have to wait a bit longer.
Because up next is Nathan Kress.
He plays-- who is he?
MAN: He plays Freddie on "iCarly."
-Oh.
He's the boy?
MAN: Yes, sir.
-Please give some gratuitous applause for Nathan Kress.
-Hey.
Thanks, Christopher.
Thanks for asking me to be on your show.
-I didn't ask you.
My associate producer asked you.
Then she was fired.
-Uh, I see.
-Apple juice?
-No.
Thanks.
-Let's talk salsa.
-What does salsa have to do with my work on "iCarly?"
-Good nuts, man.
The entire world doesn't revolve around you, now, does it?
-Well, no, but--
-Oh, I'm Nathan Kress.
"iCarly," "iCarly," "iCarly," "iCarly," "iCarly."
Blah, blah, blah.
-Look, I don't see why you're--
-Salsa!
-OK, what am I supposed to do with this jar
of Christopher Cane's Salsa?
-Hold it up to your face.
-All right.
But why do you want me to--
-Now.
-Over here, Nathan.
-Nathan!
-Nathan, over here.
-Smile. -Look over here.
Smile, Nathan.
Adjust the salsa. -There you go.
-Yeah.
-Tweet those pics and post them on my website.
-Can we just roll my blooper package?
-What?
Oh.
Whatever.
-In here, Mrs. Benson.
-I'm not your mother!
I'm her mother!
-That's right.
-Mrs. Puckett!
-Sorry.
-Hey, Mum.
-Way to blow it!
-Jeez!
-I was going to suggest Miss-- Miss-- [MUMBLING].
DIRECTOR: Halt!
-If it stops transmitting, it triggers
an emergency distress signal on my--
-Cut!
[MUMBLING]
-And as the victims of a crime, you
may attending a-- [MUMBLING].
Right from there?
Ah, but that-- we can.
DIRECTOR: Halt!
-But he took your--
DIRECTOR: Let's do it again.
-But he took your phone.
DIRECTOR: Let's try it again!
-Why do I keep doing that?
Why?
DIRECTOR: That's what we wanna know!
-(YAWNING) Oh, you weren't supposed to come to me yet.
What's going on?
-Interesting bloopers.
-Thanks.
-What show are they from?
-"iCarly."
-Security?
-Secur-- Wait, what-- I don't understand.
-All right.
Come on.
-Am I done?
OK, wait, wait, wait.
Hang on.
Hey, whoa!
Whoa!
Hey!
-I'm not even sure who that was.
My next guest is both well known and unappealing.
He plays the role of Spencer Shay,
with all the subtlety of a wild monkey.
Before he played Spencer, you may have seen him in the men's
room at the Burbank airport, where he cleaned the urinals.
Here he is now, Jerry Trainor.
-I never cleaned the urinals at the airport.
I never cleaned the urinals at the airport.
-Is that why you got fired?
-I didn't get fired-- OK.
I get it.
You're just upset cause I'm dating Stephanie now.
-All right.
Let me explain this to the audience
so they can follow along.
I used to date a girl named Stephanie.
When she was in her prime.
After I was finished with her, she and Jerry started dating.
-Yeah.
And she's a great girl.
-Yes.
I have some used snow skis I don't want anymore.
Perhaps you'd like to have those, too?
-Hey!
Look.
-Now, now, let's be friendly.
Apple juice?
-No.
-Does Stephanie still make that cute snoring sound when she--
-Stop talking about Stephanie.
-Does she still talk about me?
-Hey!
I thought I was here to be interviewed about "iCarly,"
and for you to show a bunch of my bloopers from the show.
What--
-Stephanie's mother still emails me.
-Dude!
-She says Stephanie was at her happiest when she was with me.
-Show my bloopers!
-Let us pivot our heads.
[KNOCKING]
-Hey.
I'm Spencer Shay.
Um, I know we just met, but, uh, I
drink a double-- I can't talk.
Hey!
You guys are doing the cowboy and the idiot farmgirl
that thinks the cow--
-That's the one.
-You guys are doing the cowboy and the idiot farm girl--
I can't even get out girl now.
DIRECTOR: Cut!
-You got change for lead pipe?
It's a steel pipe.
Isn't it?
-So if your mum rents a room to T-Bo,
then he'll have a place to stay, your mum's got some extra
money coming in every money month--
DIRECTOR: Halt!
-Money month?
Who's ready to see the-- hey!
Hey!
Who's-- I want--
DIRECTOR: Jerry!
-Come on, Marty.
Let's go look for my money in my dirty clothes.
Come on, Marty.
Let's go look for money through my-- son of a--
-But they--
-Shut!
-Me.
-Her!
Hey!
-I hate you!
I hate you so much!
-Sorry.
-Let's really try and impress the big cheese on this take.
Ow.
DIRECTOR: Hey, you're-- you're doing a great job, Jerry.
-I literally can't see anything in these goggles.
-And here's a pic of Stephanie and me in Hawaii.
And here you see Stephanie and me gazing at the sunset.
Here we are together in the emergency room after Steph--
-Hey!
Why are you showing me pics of you and my girlfriend?
-Here's one of Stephanie and me in a hot tub.
[CRASHING]
-"Victorious" was nominated for an Emmy.
-So was "iCarly."
-Have fun in Burbank.
Watch a few commercials.
Then we'll be right back with more stars
from "iCarly," including T-Bo, Miranda Cosgrove,
and the only one I really care about,
Noah Munck the lovable Gibby.
Buy my salsa.
I'm Christopher Cane, and I'm back,
with a fresh glass of apple juice.
[APPLAUSE]
-Tonight I'm interviewing the stars of "iCarly."
So far we've met Jennette McCurdy, Nathan Kress,
and the guy who plays the stupid brother.
But don't fret, because now we're
going to meet someone worthy of being on this show.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you
America's gift to comedy, Gibby!
-Great to be here, Christopher.
-It's beyond great.
You know, in the history of this show, I've
only been nervous to meet three guests--
Paul McCartney, Gary Busey, and now Gibby.
-Why were you nervous to meet Gary Busey?
-Have you seen Gary Busey?
He's like a wild lion with a rump full of hot sauce.
But you're Gibby.
-Actually, my real name is Noah.
-I like calling you Gibby.
-Hey, whatever bakes your potato.
[LAUGHTER]
-Ah, bakes your potato.
And that was off the cuff.
Genius.
-Aw, I'm just a dude.
-No.
You're the dude.
Would you like some apple juice?
-Naw, I'm good.
-Do you like me?
-Uh, yeah.
Sure.
You seem cool.
-So we could be friends?
-Sure.
Why not?
-Yes!
Wait.
Let me clarify.
You're saying that you and I can socialise, text message
each other, watch a ballgame together?
-Uh, yeah.
I-- I guess.
-Will you read to me?
-Well, let's, uh-- let's do that later.
-It's a date.
-Great.
So, uh, can we watch my bloopers from "iCarly?"
-What Gibby wants, Gibby gets.
Roll Gibby's bloopers!
-Gibby.
Gibby.
Gibby!
I'm going to show you some photos.
I recommend the Boston Grove.
Sorry, that was bad.
DIRECTOR: Cut!
-Try it.
Here, draw a face on this grapefruit.
-No!
DIRECTOR: There's already a face on that grapefruit!
-Anod now watch as I whip-- that was the trick.
[APPLAUSE]
-Wow.
They're having a big sale at Bilt-- sorry.
-So you'll do something for me in return?
-That seems fair.
That seems fair.
Me?
I'd do anything-- I'm sorry.
Jerry, please stop.
-It's on now.
-I just called you out.
-JERRY: But [INAUDIBLE]!
-No you're not.
Oh my god.
You know what you're doing.
Gibby.
[LAUGHTER]
-Yes.
Yes.
Oh my god, those were hilarious.
Oh.
-Wow.
You really like bloopers.
-Your bloopers.
I really like yours.
-Well, OK.
-Do you enjoy puzzles?
-Puzzles?
Uh-- yeah.
They-- they can be fun.
-Perfect!
I have a huge puzzle at home.
Like 1,000 pieces, and I haven't even started it.
We'll put it together ourselves.
Just the two of us, puzzling the night away.
-Listen, I should probably go.
-Ladies and gentleman, one last time.
Give it up for my dear friend, Gibby!
[APPLAUSE]
-Oh, I miss him already.
I don't know what it is about Gibby.
He's just got it.
In fact, I think I'm going to speak with my agent
about he and I doing a movie together.
Perhaps a buddy comedy with a sports theme.
I mean, as actors, why are we wasting our time on Nickelodeon
when Gibby and I could be--
DIRECTOR: Uh, Christopher?
-What are you?
-I'm BooGie.
-What?
-I play T-Bo on "iCarly.".
-Oh.
You're an actor on the show?
-Yeah, my character runs the Groovy Smoothie.
-So people would know you if they saw you?
-Uh-huh.
I get recognised a lot.
-Salsa!
-What is this?
-Just hold up the jar, look into the x camera,
and say Christopher Cane's Salsa rocks my mouth.
-All right.
Christopher Cane's Salsa rocks my mouth.
-Thank you.
Goodbye.
-W-wait.
I thought we were gonna watch my bloopers?
-Security?
-All right.
Let's go.
Come with us.
-Hey, what did I do?
They told me we were gonna see my bloopers!
-All right, then.
If you watch "iCarly," then you may have noticed my next guest.
[SIGH] She's an actress.
She has brown hair.
Enjoys toast.
Sometimes wears embarrassing hats.
Now please applaud with both hands for Miranda Cosmos.
-Uh, actually, my last name's Cosgrove.
-Look, sweetheart, we have three minutes to do this.
You really want to waste time debating your last name?
-Uh-- no.
Sorry.
-So you know Gibby?
-Yeah.
Well, his real name's Noah Munck.
-Do you think he'd take me sailing?
-I don't know.
-Imagine it.
Gibby and me on a 30 foot catamaran,
wind blowing through our hair.
-So, being on "iCarly" is really fun.
-Oh.
Yes.
Which of your fellow cast members do you hate the most?
-What?
-Is it Jerry?
Do you hate Jerry Trainor?
-No, I-- I love Jerry.
We all get along really well.
[SIGH]
-That's so interesting.
I hear you dated Johnny Depp.
-Uh, nope.
-Are you sad that he dumped you?
-I never dated him.
-Salsa!
-Hold that jar up, look into the x camera,
and say Christopher Cane's Salsa rocks my mouth.
-Why?
What's-- what's this for?
-Charity?
-You swear this is for charity?
-Do you want to see your bloopers, or don't you?
-Well, yeah.
-Then do as I instructed.
-OK.
-Cue the music!
[SALSA MUSIC]
-Christopher Cane's Salsa rocks my mouth.
-You all heard it.
Johnny Depp's ex-girlfriend said she likes my salsa.
So go buy it.
-I never dated Johnny Depp.
-Let's take a look at some hilarious bloopers.
-Christopher Cane's Salsa--
-Christopher Cane's Salsa rocks my mouth.
-R-r-r-rocks my mouth.
-I said it.
-Christopher Cane's Salsa rocks my mouth.
Rocks my mouth.
-These aren't my bloopers.
-You know, you were so adorable on "Drake and Josh."
-Oh.
Thanks.
-What happened?
-Just show my bloopers, OK?
-My, what a temper you have.
I see why Johnny Depp dumped you.
Let's view Miranda's bloopers.
-Well, uh-- I don't wish to overstay my welcome.
Goodnight.
-My hand's stuck.
I can't get my hand off.
Someone help me.
I'm just-- Sam and Freddie have been calling me,
like, 10 times a day--
-Ah!
-Sorry.
That was weird.
OK.
I don't know what I just did.
How did this happen?
You guys have-- sorry.
DIRECTOR: Cut!
-Happen.
I sound crazy.
-How did it happen?
-Is this a new portion of our lives?
What's going on here?
DIRECTOR: Cut!
-Portion?
A new portion?
Sorry.
You know how the show goes.
We say stupid stuff, then do stuff-- what?
What did I just say?
Stuff and stuff?
But-- but--
-Cut!
-So crazy.
I'm sorry.
No!
I'm not putting it on!
-How could you not know what it means?
-I do know what it means.
It means-- [INAUDIBLE], which makes no sense.
Sorry.
It looks like a crepe, doesn't it?
-A crap?
She calls a "crape" a crepe.
It looks-- she goes, it looks like a crepe, right?
-It is a crepe.
DIRECTOR: No, no, no.
-And I took French for three years.
I'm back.
-Get her!
-Hey!
-Get her!
Go!
-What are you doing?
-Well, this show is over.
I thank you all for joining me in this behind the scenes look
into the inner workings of the television show "iCarly."
And now, as you might hear my alter ego
Rex say on the show-- come on, man.
Let's go to Northridge.
Goodnight.
-iCarly.com.
-Carly, what happened?
Did you fall?
-iCarly.com.
Go to iCarly.com.
-Go to iCarly.com?
-What happened? -I don't know.
She said just go to iCarly.com.
-Go to iCarly.com?
-ICarly.com.
-Did I hear someone say go to iCarly.com?
-Yes!
-Then perhaps we should all go to iCarly.com.
-A-men.
-Yeah.