1 00:00:01,940 --> 00:00:04,370 [MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:05,830 [LAUGHING] 3 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,660 -You guys, it's not funny. 4 00:00:11,660 --> 00:00:14,380 -No, it's pretty funny. 5 00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:17,740 -How could your mum lose 20,000 bucks on a bunch of chickens? 6 00:00:17,740 --> 00:00:20,070 -It was one chicken and one rooster. 7 00:00:20,070 --> 00:00:21,930 -And they cost 10,000 each? 8 00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:24,790 -They're Tahitian Red-Beaks! 9 00:00:24,790 --> 00:00:26,150 The rarest chickens in the world. 10 00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:27,370 When their eggs hatch, people buy 11 00:00:27,370 --> 00:00:29,400 the baby chicks for 1,000 each. 12 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:30,780 -So your mum will make her money back. 13 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:31,480 -No! 14 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:37,320 She can't get them to-- make babies. 15 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:41,460 -Well, I'm sorry your mum lost 20,000-- ba-doing! 16 00:00:41,460 --> 00:00:42,160 -What? 17 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:42,930 But what? 18 00:00:42,930 --> 00:00:43,520 Hot guy? Hot guy? 19 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:44,010 Where is he? 20 00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:44,850 Who? -Red shirt! 21 00:00:44,850 --> 00:00:45,550 Red shirt! 22 00:00:45,550 --> 00:00:48,200 Brown hair, red shirt. 23 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,360 Look at that boy! 24 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,350 Look at him. 25 00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:53,710 I want for Christmas! 26 00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:55,180 -Why don't you go get him now? 27 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:55,880 -Should I? 28 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:58,550 -You're not getting any younger. 29 00:00:58,550 --> 00:01:00,150 -OK. 30 00:01:00,150 --> 00:01:00,850 I'm going in. 31 00:01:05,570 --> 00:01:06,990 [LAUGHING] 32 00:01:08,410 --> 00:01:11,340 Oh that's a funny text. 33 00:01:11,340 --> 00:01:14,310 -Your phone's off. 34 00:01:14,310 --> 00:01:17,360 -I know, right? 35 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:18,680 I'm Carly. 36 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,100 -Ah, Carly. 37 00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:23,220 The name of the comely vixen who assuages King [INAUDIBLE] 38 00:01:23,220 --> 00:01:27,360 cohort, after the demise of his corpulent mother. 39 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,800 -I do a web show. 40 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:30,500 -Do you? 41 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:31,230 -Uh, huh. 42 00:01:31,230 --> 00:01:32,130 It's called iCarly. 43 00:01:32,130 --> 00:01:33,660 -Oh, I think I've heard of that. 44 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:34,360 -Yeah? 45 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:35,060 -Yeah. 46 00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:37,870 Um, you do teenage satire with a peak and twit. 47 00:01:37,870 --> 00:01:40,550 -Well, I don't know about that, but last week 48 00:01:40,550 --> 00:01:44,350 Sam drew a face on Gibby's butt. 49 00:01:44,350 --> 00:01:46,540 -You know, you're quite charming. 50 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,590 -Well, you have nice eyes. 51 00:01:48,590 --> 00:01:51,050 -They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. 52 00:01:51,050 --> 00:01:53,410 -Well, I don't have a boyfriend, so 53 00:01:53,410 --> 00:01:55,360 why don't you open up a window? 54 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,840 -Ha! 55 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:57,820 T-BO: What? 56 00:01:57,820 --> 00:01:58,780 No! 57 00:01:58,780 --> 00:02:01,420 No, no, no, no, no, no! 58 00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:02,880 -I'm sorry, Mr. Bo. 59 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,640 I'm just doing my job. 60 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,240 -Yo, your job is being a jerk! 61 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:08,310 Look, everybody. 62 00:02:08,310 --> 00:02:11,380 We got a professional jerk, right here. 63 00:02:11,380 --> 00:02:13,490 -I am not a jerk. 64 00:02:13,490 --> 00:02:17,230 I am a city health inspector. 65 00:02:17,230 --> 00:02:18,630 -What's the problem? 66 00:02:18,630 --> 00:02:19,520 -Him. 67 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,190 This man says I can't sleep upstairs in my bedroom anymore. 68 00:02:22,190 --> 00:02:25,370 -Yes, because the second floor is zoned for office use only. 69 00:02:25,370 --> 00:02:28,260 -I'll zone you! 70 00:02:28,260 --> 00:02:29,860 Where am I supposed to live? 71 00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:34,020 -I don't care where you live, as long as it is not here. 72 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:34,720 You've been notified. 73 00:02:37,660 --> 00:02:38,770 -Somebody should notify your wife 74 00:02:38,770 --> 00:02:41,100 that she's married to a jerk. 75 00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:42,470 -I'm divorced. 76 00:02:42,470 --> 00:02:43,340 -Lucky her. 77 00:02:46,060 --> 00:02:48,090 -Kyle, these are my friends, Sam and Freddie, 78 00:02:48,090 --> 00:02:49,050 who I do iCarly with. 79 00:02:49,050 --> 00:02:49,350 -Hey. 80 00:02:49,350 --> 00:02:50,170 -Nice teeth. 81 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,330 -Thank you. 82 00:02:51,330 --> 00:02:53,300 Uh, you know, I haven't seen iCarly yet. 83 00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:55,340 But when I get home tonight, I plan 84 00:02:55,340 --> 00:02:57,840 to ingurgitate your website voraciously. 85 00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:58,530 -Thanks, man. 86 00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:00,440 -OK. 87 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,010 -Well, I'm off. 88 00:03:02,010 --> 00:03:02,740 -Bye. SAM: See you. 89 00:03:02,740 --> 00:03:03,440 -Later. 90 00:03:06,930 --> 00:03:07,630 -What did he say? 91 00:03:07,630 --> 00:03:08,330 -No, idea. 92 00:03:08,330 --> 00:03:10,020 -Shut up, he's pretty. 93 00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:15,900 FREDDIE: In five, four, three, two-- 94 00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:20,400 THEME SONG: I know, you see somehow the world will 95 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,400 change for me and be so wonderful. 96 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:29,150 Live life, breathe air, I know somehow we're 97 00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:31,400 gonna get there and feel so wonderful. 98 00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:40,540 It's all for real, I'm telling you just how I feel. 99 00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:44,520 So wake up the members of my nation. 100 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:49,010 It's your time to be, there's no chance unless you take one. 101 00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:51,500 And it's time to see the brighter 102 00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:54,980 side of every situation. 103 00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:58,470 Somethings are meant to be, so give your best 104 00:03:58,470 --> 00:04:00,460 and leave the rest to me. 105 00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:02,950 Leave it all to me. 106 00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:04,940 Leave it all to me. 107 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,430 Just leave it all to me. 108 00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:21,380 [DOOR OPENS] 109 00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:23,280 [CHATTING] 110 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,040 -Hey! 111 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,180 No talking for a sec! 112 00:04:25,180 --> 00:04:26,300 Gees! 113 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,300 [DOOR CLOSING] 114 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,510 Ah, it clicked! 115 00:04:30,510 --> 00:04:31,760 That's two clicks. 116 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:35,100 Two more tumblers, and I'll enter that safe! 117 00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:36,690 -Hey, could you show me something 118 00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:39,750 in an after school ham? 119 00:04:39,750 --> 00:04:40,450 -Fridge. 120 00:04:40,450 --> 00:04:43,380 -On it. 121 00:04:43,380 --> 00:04:44,360 [KEYS JANGLING] 122 00:04:47,130 --> 00:04:48,730 -You want to tell us about your safe, don't you? 123 00:04:48,730 --> 00:04:50,510 -Yes! 124 00:04:50,510 --> 00:04:52,790 So I'm at the junkyard, bright and early this morning. 125 00:04:52,790 --> 00:04:54,960 -You sure you didn't wake up at noon? 126 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,680 -So I'm at the junkyard about 2:30, 127 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,880 and I see this safe, right? 128 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,380 So I bought it! 129 00:05:00,380 --> 00:05:01,540 -Why? 130 00:05:01,540 --> 00:05:03,910 -'Cause, dip tuck. 131 00:05:03,910 --> 00:05:06,840 If I can get it open, whatever's inside is all mine. 132 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,680 -Do you know where T-Bo slept last night? 133 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:09,890 -Upstairs at the Groovy Smoothie? 134 00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:10,590 -No. 135 00:05:10,590 --> 00:05:12,580 -He got kicked out of there by a health inspector. 136 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,570 -He slept on a raft. 137 00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:16,800 In a pond. 138 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,130 -That's awful. 139 00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:19,750 Someone should to do something about that, 140 00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:23,080 while I open my safe. 141 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,530 -Hey, where did you guys get this big fork? 142 00:05:25,530 --> 00:05:26,620 -Some website. 143 00:05:26,620 --> 00:05:27,590 -epicforks.com? 144 00:05:27,590 --> 00:05:29,670 -That's the one. 145 00:05:29,670 --> 00:05:30,820 -You and I are going to be getting 146 00:05:30,820 --> 00:05:33,490 to know each other a lot better. 147 00:05:33,490 --> 00:05:34,190 -OK, everybody. 148 00:05:34,190 --> 00:05:35,040 Be quiet. 149 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,440 I think it's about to click. 150 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,410 -Hey, if You find 20,000 bucks in there, 151 00:05:39,410 --> 00:05:42,370 will you give it to my mum so she'll stop crying? 152 00:05:42,370 --> 00:05:44,610 -No. 153 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:47,490 -We like it when your mum cries. 154 00:05:47,490 --> 00:05:49,230 -What are we gonna do about T-Bo? 155 00:05:49,230 --> 00:05:50,640 -Oh, right! 156 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,890 Listen, the Bensons have a guest room, right? 157 00:05:53,890 --> 00:05:54,590 -Yeah. 158 00:05:54,590 --> 00:05:55,040 By my room. 159 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:55,740 Why? 160 00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:57,860 -All right, so if your mum rents T-Bo a room, 161 00:05:57,860 --> 00:05:59,530 then T-Bo has got a place to stay, 162 00:05:59,530 --> 00:06:02,220 your mum's got some extra coming in, and everybody's happy. 163 00:06:05,150 --> 00:06:06,310 -That's actually pretty smart. 164 00:06:06,310 --> 00:06:07,210 -Yeah. 165 00:06:07,210 --> 00:06:11,020 I'm not all about goofy antics and spontaneous fires. 166 00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:12,130 -But mostly you are? 167 00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:14,890 -Well, yeah. 168 00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:16,530 -You think your mum would rent T-Bo a room? 169 00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:17,810 -Well, she needs the money. 170 00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:18,510 I don't know. 171 00:06:18,510 --> 00:06:21,180 She might think T-Bo is too wild and crazy. 172 00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:24,710 -Your mum thinks oatmeal is too wild and crazy. 173 00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:27,070 -What if we, like, cleaned T-Bo up? 174 00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:27,920 -Maybe. 175 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,780 -I don't think I can ever go back to normal forks. 176 00:06:30,780 --> 00:06:31,690 [CELL PHONE CHIMES] 177 00:06:34,190 --> 00:06:34,890 -[GASP] 178 00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:35,540 -What? 179 00:06:35,540 --> 00:06:36,650 -I have a date with Kyle tonight. 180 00:06:36,650 --> 00:06:38,030 -The smart dude from the Smoothie? 181 00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:38,770 -Yeah. 182 00:06:38,770 --> 00:06:40,620 He wants to take me to some movie I've never heard of. 183 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:42,430 And I only have four hours to get ready. 184 00:06:42,430 --> 00:06:43,130 Bye! 185 00:06:45,830 --> 00:06:46,570 [GRUNTING AND MOANING] 186 00:06:46,570 --> 00:06:47,530 -Dang! 187 00:06:47,530 --> 00:06:49,770 It won't open. 188 00:06:49,770 --> 00:06:51,130 -So now what? 189 00:06:51,130 --> 00:06:59,440 -Plan B. Ya vol! 190 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,380 Yeah! 191 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,350 [INAUDIBLE] saw! 192 00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:05,820 Woo! 193 00:07:05,820 --> 00:07:07,580 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! 194 00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:08,270 Yeah! 195 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,680 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] 196 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,910 -Wonderful! 197 00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:40,990 Great film. 198 00:07:40,990 --> 00:07:42,660 -You enjoyed the first half? 199 00:07:42,660 --> 00:07:44,750 -The first half? 200 00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:46,370 -Yeah, this is an intermission. 201 00:07:46,370 --> 00:07:48,390 There's two more hours to go. 202 00:07:48,390 --> 00:07:49,950 -Oh. 203 00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:51,970 Awesome. 204 00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:54,000 I didn't know movies had intermissions. 205 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:54,890 -Oh, yeah. 206 00:07:54,890 --> 00:07:56,480 Well foreign films often do. 207 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:57,480 -Right. 208 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,220 Yay, foreigners. 209 00:08:00,220 --> 00:08:06,530 -Oh, Carly, you do have a certain je ne sais quoi. 210 00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:07,380 -Yeah. 211 00:08:07,380 --> 00:08:10,750 I got a lot of that. 212 00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:12,220 -I like you. 213 00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:13,640 -You do? 214 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,500 -Categorically. 215 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:21,480 My last girlfriend, she was a bit obtuse. 216 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:25,030 -Did she consider that lap band surgery? 217 00:08:25,030 --> 00:08:25,930 [LAUGHING] 218 00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:27,130 -Oh, ho. 219 00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:29,530 Oh, you are jocular. 220 00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:30,390 -No. 221 00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:31,350 I'm not that good at sports. 222 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,550 So your ex-girlfriend-- 223 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,990 -Yeah. 224 00:08:37,990 --> 00:08:40,960 I don't mean to sound snobbish, but you know, 225 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:44,340 if a girl is not intelligent, then what's the point? 226 00:08:44,340 --> 00:08:46,010 -She wasn't smart? 227 00:08:46,010 --> 00:08:48,120 -Well, let's just say that she didn't 228 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:53,480 have the mental abilities to appreciate a film like this. 229 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:54,550 -That poor thing. 230 00:08:57,340 --> 00:08:59,450 -I'll fetch us a beverage from the concessionary. 231 00:09:02,050 --> 00:09:02,930 -What? 232 00:09:02,930 --> 00:09:03,630 Oh. 233 00:09:09,630 --> 00:09:12,680 -Stay delightful. 234 00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:13,380 -Awe! 235 00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:20,590 Two more hours? 236 00:09:20,590 --> 00:09:24,220 -A guest room, for me? 237 00:09:24,220 --> 00:09:27,820 With its own bed and a window? 238 00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:29,320 [GRUNTING] 239 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,250 -Maybe. 240 00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:32,630 My mum needs money. 241 00:09:32,630 --> 00:09:35,090 -She made a bad chicken investment. 242 00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:35,830 -Right. 243 00:09:35,830 --> 00:09:37,230 I heard her chickens wouldn't-- 244 00:09:42,770 --> 00:09:43,470 -Yeah, we know. 245 00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:45,880 -Yeah, right, right. 246 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,640 -I got your bike down. 247 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:48,340 -Good. 248 00:09:48,340 --> 00:09:51,090 -Gibby's helping me move some of my stuff into storage. 249 00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:51,790 -Now what? 250 00:09:51,790 --> 00:09:53,810 -Scale up those downstairs and get the rest of my junk! 251 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,090 So let's go talk to your mom about my roots. 252 00:10:00,090 --> 00:10:02,340 -Uh, yeah, not so fast. 253 00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:05,150 -Before you meet my mum, we should probably make a few-- 254 00:10:05,150 --> 00:10:08,500 -Changes with you. 255 00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:09,940 -Change what about me? 256 00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:11,050 -Oh, you know-- 257 00:10:11,050 --> 00:10:11,750 -Everything. 258 00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:12,750 -Yeah, pretty much everything. 259 00:10:18,390 --> 00:10:19,870 [SCREAMING] 260 00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:26,250 -Spencer! 261 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,510 [SCREAMING] 262 00:10:27,510 --> 00:10:28,210 -Spencer! 263 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,500 -Oh, hey. 264 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:36,730 -You've been trying to open your safe 265 00:10:36,730 --> 00:10:38,240 with that chainsaw for eight hours? 266 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:39,990 -Yeah. 267 00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:41,690 I think the safe won this battle. 268 00:10:45,550 --> 00:10:47,670 Who is the stud in the blazer? 269 00:10:47,670 --> 00:10:50,280 -Oh, Kyle, that's my brother Spencer. 270 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,430 Spencer, this is Kyle. 271 00:10:52,430 --> 00:10:55,070 -Yeah, good hair. 272 00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:56,420 -Thanks. 273 00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:59,600 You know, that safe is probably made of carbonised iron. 274 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,210 And most chainsaw teeth are made of a tempered steel alloy. 275 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,950 -And? 276 00:11:06,950 --> 00:11:09,930 -Well, the safe has a far denser molecular structure. 277 00:11:12,870 --> 00:11:16,410 That chainsaw could never cut through it. 278 00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:19,230 -Yeah, that's-- that's what I was thinking. 279 00:11:22,710 --> 00:11:25,770 -Maybe you should think about it in your room. 280 00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:29,480 -Fine, I can take a hint, and this banana. 281 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,970 Whoo-oo-oo. 282 00:11:33,970 --> 00:11:34,690 [DOOR CLOSING] 283 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:38,490 -Well, I don't wish to overstay my welcome. 284 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,020 Goodnight. 285 00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:42,980 -No, why don't you hang out for a while? 286 00:11:42,980 --> 00:11:46,060 You know, so we can hang out. 287 00:11:48,930 --> 00:11:52,700 -Well, uh, I would love to discuss 288 00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:55,770 the sociopolitical implications of the film we just saw. 289 00:11:59,450 --> 00:12:00,150 -Yeah, Spencer? 290 00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:02,600 What you need? 291 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:03,860 -I didn't hear anything. 292 00:12:03,860 --> 00:12:04,970 -I'd better go see what he wants. 293 00:12:04,970 --> 00:12:07,440 Coming, Spencer! 294 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:08,140 -What? 295 00:12:08,140 --> 00:12:10,320 I took the hint! 296 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,760 -I know, but now I need Kyle to leave. 297 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,870 -What did he do? 298 00:12:14,870 --> 00:12:16,660 -Nothing, it's just, I really like him. 299 00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:18,610 And if he finds out I'm not as smart as he thinks I am, 300 00:12:18,610 --> 00:12:20,140 then he's not going to want to go out with me. 301 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,950 And I need a pretty boyfriend. 302 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,650 -So you want me to just like throw him out? 303 00:12:23,650 --> 00:12:24,830 CARLY: No! 304 00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:29,370 Uh, give yourself a bloody nose. 305 00:12:29,370 --> 00:12:31,000 -You want me to whack myself in the nose. 306 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:31,700 -Please help me. 307 00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:32,400 Just help me. 308 00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:39,040 I'm back. 309 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,950 I'm ready to talk about the film. 310 00:12:40,950 --> 00:12:42,080 -Excellent. 311 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,830 Now, did you feel that when-- 312 00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:44,530 [WHACK] 313 00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:45,420 [SCREAMING] 314 00:12:45,420 --> 00:12:47,580 SPENCER: Monkey! 315 00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:50,170 Oh, my nose is bleeding! 316 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,140 Weird, huh? 317 00:12:52,140 --> 00:12:53,470 -[GASP] Oh, my god. 318 00:12:53,470 --> 00:12:54,560 I should help him. Sorry, Kyle. 319 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:55,260 You should go. 320 00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:55,960 -Oh, all right. 321 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,690 Uh, just m-make sure to tilt his head 15 degrees, 322 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,990 and maintain pressure on his septum so the blood coagulates. 323 00:13:00,990 --> 00:13:01,690 -Yeah, yeah. 324 00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:02,500 Pressure on the septum. 325 00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:03,200 Call me. 326 00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:08,270 -Where are you going? 327 00:13:08,270 --> 00:13:09,330 -Upstairs to study. 328 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,560 -Study for what? 329 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:13,530 -For my next date with Kyle. 330 00:13:13,530 --> 00:13:14,910 -OK. 331 00:13:14,910 --> 00:13:16,290 I'll just bleed. 332 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:19,860 Ah! 333 00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:26,290 -Hey, Sam, will you help me do a camera check? 334 00:13:26,290 --> 00:13:29,190 -I'm busy with my big fork. 335 00:13:29,190 --> 00:13:30,990 -Carly, will ya help me do a cam-- 336 00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:32,420 -I'm studying for a date! 337 00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:33,640 -A date with who? 338 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:34,940 -Kyle, pretty Kyle. 339 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,570 -The brainy hot guy she's been mucking around with. 340 00:13:37,570 --> 00:13:39,630 -So I have to learn about boring Russian films, 341 00:13:39,630 --> 00:13:42,140 and how to speak Mandarin Chinese. 342 00:13:42,140 --> 00:13:43,060 -He speaks Chinese? 343 00:13:43,060 --> 00:13:43,760 -Fluently. 344 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:47,460 And all I've learned how to say so far is, wo bu zhidao. 345 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,230 -What's that mean? 346 00:13:48,230 --> 00:13:49,030 -I don't know. 347 00:13:49,030 --> 00:13:50,230 -How can you not know what it means? 348 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,050 -I do know. 349 00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:54,410 It means, I don't know. 350 00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:55,500 -All right! 351 00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:59,310 Let's do this! 352 00:13:59,310 --> 00:14:01,670 -Gibby! 353 00:14:01,670 --> 00:14:03,310 -Yes? 354 00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,890 -You're not doing a snowman bit on iCarly tonight. 355 00:14:05,890 --> 00:14:06,630 -Yes, I am. 356 00:14:06,630 --> 00:14:09,020 I asked Sam if I could wear a costume on the show tonight, 357 00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:10,490 and she said, snowman. 358 00:14:10,490 --> 00:14:14,100 -I said, no, man. 359 00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:15,720 -[SIGH] 30 seconds! 360 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:16,960 Better put that stuff away. 361 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:17,760 -Fine. 362 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,290 I'll just stay up all night studying for my date tomorrow. 363 00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:22,260 -OK, where is this date happening? 364 00:14:22,260 --> 00:14:23,610 -We're having dinner here. 365 00:14:23,610 --> 00:14:24,310 -Psh! 366 00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:24,740 Easy! 367 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,290 All you gotta do is make a few cheat sheets. 368 00:14:26,290 --> 00:14:27,690 -He knows everything. 369 00:14:27,690 --> 00:14:29,440 I can't make cheat sheets for everything. 370 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:33,260 -So hide a PearPad, have your phone in your pocket. 371 00:14:33,260 --> 00:14:34,560 He says something you don't know about, 372 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:35,800 you sneak a look at the web. 373 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:40,040 (ELEGANTLY) You'll be as smart as the internet. 374 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:43,220 -The internet is really smart. 375 00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:46,400 FREDDIE: And speaking of the internet, in five, 376 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,020 four, three, two-- 377 00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:50,920 -I'm Carly. 378 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,140 -I have a big fork! 379 00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:55,300 -And this is iCarly. 380 00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,210 -With a big fork. 381 00:14:58,950 --> 00:15:00,870 -I'm a snowman. 382 00:15:00,870 --> 00:15:03,120 -Hey, girls, why is Gibby a snowman? 383 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:04,580 -Wo bu zhidao! 384 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:13,150 Hey, you gotta be out of this room by the time 385 00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:14,080 Kyle gets here. 386 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,460 -Yeah, blah, blah, blah! 387 00:15:20,030 --> 00:15:22,230 -Look, I'm taping these notes about foreign languages 388 00:15:22,230 --> 00:15:23,880 to the bottom of my plate. 389 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,680 -I love tape. 390 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,250 -He's gonna be here any minute! 391 00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:29,540 You know, you could help me. 392 00:15:29,540 --> 00:15:30,860 -I gotta keep my fork shiny and lubed, 393 00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:33,840 in case a meal breaks out. 394 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:34,960 [KNOCKING] 395 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:35,940 -Get the door. 396 00:15:35,940 --> 00:15:37,630 -Come in! 397 00:15:37,630 --> 00:15:38,490 [DOOR OPENING] 398 00:15:38,490 --> 00:15:41,660 -All right, I'm ready to be made over. 399 00:15:41,660 --> 00:15:46,960 And I brought some baked artichokes-- on a stick. 400 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:47,730 -Thanks, T-Bo. 401 00:15:47,730 --> 00:15:48,480 [DOOR CLOSING] 402 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,010 Just lay 'em on the table, right there. 403 00:15:50,010 --> 00:15:51,640 -Cool, cool. 404 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,100 -Come on, Tebes, Freddie and Gibby are upstairs. 405 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:56,170 We got to get you looking purty for Mrs. Benson. 406 00:15:56,170 --> 00:16:00,160 -I'm already wearing my fancy underpants. 407 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,930 -Don't make me sick. 408 00:16:02,930 --> 00:16:03,630 Upstairs. 409 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,300 -Hey! 410 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,000 Hey! 411 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,820 Keep your giant fork out of my date bread. 412 00:16:10,820 --> 00:16:13,970 -(SOUTHERN DRAWL) The big fork wants what the big fork wants. 413 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,060 [DOORBELL RINGING] 414 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:18,660 -Yeah! 415 00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:19,420 That's got to by Kyle. 416 00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:20,240 Go to your room. 417 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:20,940 Go to your room. 418 00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:21,910 -The safe's not open yet. 419 00:16:21,910 --> 00:16:23,370 -Get out Get out! -I want to get my treasure! 420 00:16:23,370 --> 00:16:24,340 -Get out, Get out. -Oh! 421 00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:25,540 -Get out, get out, get out, get out! 422 00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:35,100 Good evening, Kyle. 423 00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,240 -And to you. 424 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,040 -Come on in. 425 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:37,740 -Thank you. 426 00:16:41,090 --> 00:16:42,150 Mm! 427 00:16:42,150 --> 00:16:46,990 Do I detect the aroma of a melange of Epicurean delights? 428 00:16:46,990 --> 00:16:49,470 -I made pork chops. 429 00:16:49,470 --> 00:16:50,350 -Excellent. 430 00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:54,680 Um, do you have a restroom where I can ablute before dinner? 431 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,580 -Uh, sure. 432 00:16:56,580 --> 00:17:00,120 You can ablute in that bathroom right down the hallway, there. 433 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:00,880 -Back in a kish. 434 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,510 -What the heck does ablute mean? 435 00:17:12,510 --> 00:17:13,840 -Hey, you're supposed to have T-Bo 436 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,490 at your mum's in five minutes. 437 00:17:16,490 --> 00:17:18,870 FREDDIE: OK, here comes the new T-Bo. 438 00:17:24,530 --> 00:17:25,460 -Wow! 439 00:17:25,460 --> 00:17:27,010 Looking good, T-Bo. 440 00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:30,580 -Please, call me Terrance. 441 00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:32,290 -Yeah, use that voice in the interview. 442 00:17:32,290 --> 00:17:33,340 My mum will love that. 443 00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:34,820 -Of course, Fredward. 444 00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,460 I'd be delighted to speak in this voice 445 00:17:36,460 --> 00:17:39,220 during the interview. 446 00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:40,600 -Nice job on the suit, Gibs. 447 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,340 -Aw, thanks. 448 00:17:42,340 --> 00:17:44,900 But I'd still like to lengthen those sleeves a little, 449 00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:48,160 and, uh, give him more room in the rump. 450 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:52,100 -My rump as more than enough room, thank you. 451 00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:53,190 -All right, let's go. 452 00:17:53,190 --> 00:17:54,720 And please, don't talk about your rump 453 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:55,580 in front of my mother. 454 00:17:55,580 --> 00:17:56,280 -What? 455 00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:56,980 She don't like rumps? 456 00:17:56,980 --> 00:17:57,900 -Stop saying it! 457 00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:04,020 -This pork chop is absolutely ambrosial. 458 00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:06,750 -Yeah, well, what's the point of making 459 00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:08,810 a pork chop it's not ambrosial? 460 00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:17,090 Uh, you know the Russian film we went to see the other night? 461 00:18:17,090 --> 00:18:19,070 -Mm, hm. 462 00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:25,910 -The guy who directed it was from the town of Krasnogorsk. 463 00:18:25,910 --> 00:18:27,460 -This is true. 464 00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:30,230 And when I was 10, my parents took me 465 00:18:30,230 --> 00:18:34,060 to Krasnogorsk's Optikov Square, where I saw the famous statue. 466 00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:35,830 -Right. 467 00:18:35,830 --> 00:18:40,850 The statute of-- the statue of-- you need more ice. 468 00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:42,560 -Oh, uh, I have plenty of ice. 469 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:43,270 -You need some more. 470 00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:48,900 -Could I please have another pork chop? 471 00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:49,600 -Just a sec! 472 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,930 -OK, take your shoes off. 473 00:18:53,930 --> 00:18:54,800 -Why? 474 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,160 -If you want the room, then trust me, just take them off. 475 00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,160 -Better. 476 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:05,560 -Mum, we're here. 477 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,950 -We certainly are. 478 00:19:08,950 --> 00:19:09,660 -Hey, mum. 479 00:19:09,660 --> 00:19:11,050 -Shoes off, both of you. 480 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:11,750 -Sorry. 481 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:16,150 -I've already removed my shoes, Mrs. Benson. 482 00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:18,030 -Why, yes, you have. 483 00:19:18,030 --> 00:19:19,020 -Mum, this is Terrance Bo. 484 00:19:19,020 --> 00:19:20,200 -Terrance, this is my mother. 485 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:20,900 -Hello. 486 00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:22,060 -It's a pleasure to know you. 487 00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:23,680 I was sorry to hear that your chickens 488 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,810 wouldn't do the dilly-do. 489 00:19:26,810 --> 00:19:29,210 -Well, thank you. 490 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,940 But I warn you, I will not let just 491 00:19:30,940 --> 00:19:33,030 anyone rent a room in this house. 492 00:19:33,030 --> 00:19:36,090 -Please, ask me as many questions as you'd like. 493 00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:37,540 -It might take a while. 494 00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:39,880 -That's all right, Terrence has plenty of time. 495 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,670 As long as he makes it to church by 9:30. 496 00:19:42,670 --> 00:19:44,780 -Church on Saturday night? 497 00:19:44,780 --> 00:19:47,300 -It's not just for Sundays anymore. 498 00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:49,140 [LAUGHTER] 499 00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:51,900 -[SIGHS] 500 00:19:53,170 --> 00:19:56,150 -And did you know that Mandarin Chinese is one of the six 501 00:19:56,150 --> 00:19:58,350 official languages of the United Nations? 502 00:19:58,350 --> 00:20:00,190 -I did not. 503 00:20:00,190 --> 00:20:02,450 -Well, it is. 504 00:20:02,450 --> 00:20:05,500 The other five are English, French, Russian, Spanish, 505 00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:12,560 and, uh, uh-- look at our door! 506 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,390 Arabic. 507 00:20:14,390 --> 00:20:15,200 -Excuse me? 508 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,980 -That's the sixth language, Arabic. 509 00:20:17,980 --> 00:20:20,430 -Well, your pork chop's on the table. 510 00:20:20,430 --> 00:20:21,690 -Weird! 511 00:20:21,690 --> 00:20:22,690 Hey! 512 00:20:22,690 --> 00:20:24,190 Quit trying to escape! 513 00:20:30,610 --> 00:20:31,390 -[GASPS] 514 00:20:32,090 --> 00:20:35,930 -You've taped cheat notes to the bottom of your plate! 515 00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,860 -Oh, well, I just needed to rem-- 516 00:20:37,860 --> 00:20:39,790 -Oh! 517 00:20:39,790 --> 00:20:42,160 More cheat notes! 518 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:43,510 And you misspelled Russia. 519 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,420 -Well, my arm doesn't have Spell Check. 520 00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:54,180 Look, I'm-- I'm not as smart as you thought it was. 521 00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:57,760 I mean, I'm not like you. 522 00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:59,350 I suppose you're going to leave now 523 00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:01,280 because you think I'm all dumb. 524 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:02,440 -No. 525 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:03,750 -No? 526 00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:06,790 -I'm going to leave, because you were dishonest with me. 527 00:21:06,790 --> 00:21:08,620 That's worse than being dumb. 528 00:21:08,620 --> 00:21:10,600 Duh! 529 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,760 -Oh, come on, Kyle. 530 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:16,850 Uh, I don't lie while I'm kissing, huh? [CLICKS TONGUE] 531 00:21:16,850 --> 00:21:17,540 Huh? 532 00:21:20,820 --> 00:21:23,510 -This is our valediction. 533 00:21:23,510 --> 00:21:27,350 CARLY: But-- ha-- vale-- what does that mean? 534 00:21:30,810 --> 00:21:32,850 -You got busted? 535 00:21:32,850 --> 00:21:35,140 -And I think he dumped me. 536 00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:36,430 -You think? 537 00:21:36,430 --> 00:21:37,650 Why, what did he day? 538 00:21:37,650 --> 00:21:39,090 -Wo bu zhidao! 539 00:21:44,130 --> 00:21:44,830 -Come on, kid. 540 00:21:44,830 --> 00:21:46,080 Don't feel all bad. 541 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:47,950 -I do feel all bad. 542 00:21:47,950 --> 00:21:50,210 -Here, you can have your big fork back. 543 00:21:52,990 --> 00:21:54,720 -Thanks. 544 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,850 I thought you loved this big fork. 545 00:21:56,850 --> 00:21:58,890 -I did. 546 00:21:58,890 --> 00:22:00,050 Until I found this one. 547 00:22:03,980 --> 00:22:05,180 -That's comedically big. 548 00:22:05,180 --> 00:22:05,880 -Yep! 549 00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:10,660 -Hi. 550 00:22:10,660 --> 00:22:16,510 Can I borrow a cup of sugar, neighbour? 551 00:22:16,510 --> 00:22:18,050 -Your mum rented him the room? 552 00:22:18,050 --> 00:22:19,420 -For a whole year. 553 00:22:19,420 --> 00:22:20,120 We signed a lease! 554 00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:20,820 Ow! 555 00:22:20,820 --> 00:22:21,800 Bow wow, bow wow! 556 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,710 Oh! 557 00:22:24,710 --> 00:22:26,640 [NONSENSICAL SINGING] 558 00:22:29,820 --> 00:22:30,520 -Hey! 559 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,430 I say, hey! 560 00:22:33,430 --> 00:22:34,790 Who is ready to see the treasures that 561 00:22:34,790 --> 00:22:37,040 await me inside my super cool safe? 562 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,540 -Dude, you're never getting that thing open. 563 00:22:38,540 --> 00:22:39,540 -Am to. 564 00:22:39,540 --> 00:22:42,270 Socko got me a special C-4 explosive charge 565 00:22:42,270 --> 00:22:44,750 from his cousin Boomer! 566 00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:46,050 Fire in the hole! 567 00:22:46,050 --> 00:22:47,080 -Here we go. 568 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,060 -OK, boy! Easy! 569 00:22:48,060 --> 00:22:48,870 -A C-4? 570 00:22:48,870 --> 00:22:51,660 [HIGH-PITCHED TONE] 571 00:22:51,660 --> 00:22:53,150 [EXPLOSION] 572 00:22:53,150 --> 00:22:55,140 [SCREAMING] 573 00:22:55,930 --> 00:22:56,620 -Aha! 574 00:22:56,620 --> 00:22:59,610 It opened! 575 00:22:59,610 --> 00:23:00,810 -What's in it? 576 00:23:00,810 --> 00:23:02,230 -(MANIACALLY) Yeah! 577 00:23:02,230 --> 00:23:02,930 No! 578 00:23:08,370 --> 00:23:10,110 [SINGING JIBBERISH] 579 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,930 -Oh, where are you going to go? 580 00:23:22,930 --> 00:23:25,390 -[JIBBERISH] Where do you think? 581 00:23:25,390 --> 00:23:28,610 -I am going to take a car to where? 582 00:23:28,610 --> 00:23:30,030 -iCarly.com.