1 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:04,940 -Hey. 2 00:00:04,940 --> 00:00:05,640 What's up? 3 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,090 -Hey, hey. 4 00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:08,030 -Is Sam here yet? 5 00:00:08,030 --> 00:00:08,730 -Nope. 6 00:00:08,730 --> 00:00:10,440 -Ugh. 7 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:12,790 Are those new pants? 8 00:00:12,790 --> 00:00:13,490 -Yes, they are. 9 00:00:18,510 --> 00:00:19,210 -From tweenpants.com? 10 00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:23,080 -They sell pants for men now. 11 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,210 -Then you should have bought some. 12 00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:28,160 -Yo, Carly. 13 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:28,920 -Oh, hey Gibby. 14 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:29,620 Could you help? 15 00:00:33,530 --> 00:00:36,440 Gibby, I told you we can't do your Dr. Lobster bit tonight. 16 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,420 -I thought you were kidding. 17 00:00:38,420 --> 00:00:39,120 Well, no. 18 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:40,200 The show's too long. 19 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:41,520 I had to cut some stuff. 20 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:42,490 -Wow. 21 00:00:42,490 --> 00:00:44,810 I'm really mad right now. 22 00:00:44,810 --> 00:00:46,680 -Would you say you're steamed? 23 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:54,080 -Look, we can still do it next week, 24 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:55,050 or maybe the week after that. 25 00:00:55,050 --> 00:00:57,620 -Hey, do you got any anti-itch cream? 26 00:00:57,620 --> 00:00:59,310 -And look who's late again. 27 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,880 -Don't start with me. 28 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:03,450 Oh, someone's extra feisty today. 29 00:01:03,450 --> 00:01:06,120 -My mum's been chewing on my nerves. 30 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,470 -What did you fight about this time? 31 00:01:07,470 --> 00:01:08,310 -Here we go, guys. 32 00:01:08,310 --> 00:01:10,180 -I sent her out for a bucket of chicken and then I wait, 33 00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:11,330 and I wait, and I wait-- 34 00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:13,630 -In five, four three-- 35 00:01:13,630 --> 00:01:14,330 -So, I'm waiting-- 36 00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:15,030 FREDDIE: Two-- 37 00:01:15,030 --> 00:01:16,840 -For my chicken and then like an hour and a half later 38 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,700 my mum comes back with a bucket of cold chicken an 39 00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:19,900 a new tattoo. 40 00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:21,990 -Why didn't she get the tattoo and then get the chicken? 41 00:01:21,990 --> 00:01:24,310 -She got the tattoo from a guy in the chicken line. 42 00:01:24,310 --> 00:01:25,210 -Ew. 43 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,020 -Right? 44 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,140 -Let's talk about this later. 45 00:01:28,140 --> 00:01:29,210 -Yeah, we better start the show. 46 00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:31,180 -The show started 15 seconds ago. 47 00:01:33,990 --> 00:01:37,740 -And this is iCarly. 48 00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:40,520 FREDDIE: In five, four, three, two. 49 00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:47,220 THEME SONG: I know you see somehow the world will 50 00:01:47,220 --> 00:01:49,450 change for me and be so wonderful. 51 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:56,140 Live life, breathe air, I know somehow we're 52 00:01:56,140 --> 00:01:58,870 going to get there and feel so wonderful. 53 00:02:02,340 --> 00:02:05,820 It's all for real. 54 00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:09,540 I'm telling you just how I feel, so wake up 55 00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:14,250 the members of my nation, it's your time to be. 56 00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:17,890 There's no chance unless you take one and the time 57 00:02:17,890 --> 00:02:22,680 to see the brighter side of every situation. 58 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,660 Somethings are meant to be, so give me your best 59 00:02:25,660 --> 00:02:28,140 and leave the rest to me. 60 00:02:28,140 --> 00:02:30,620 Leave it all to me. 61 00:02:30,620 --> 00:02:32,600 Leave it all to me. 62 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,580 Just leave it all to me. 63 00:02:46,490 --> 00:03:01,230 -[GRUMBLING] 64 00:03:01,230 --> 00:03:01,930 -Sam? 65 00:03:01,930 --> 00:03:02,620 -What? 66 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,190 -It's almost 4 o'clock in the morning. 67 00:03:08,190 --> 00:03:08,990 What are you doing here? 68 00:03:08,990 --> 00:03:10,670 -I'm upset with my mum. 69 00:03:10,670 --> 00:03:12,890 We got in another fight, so I packed my bag and came here. 70 00:03:12,890 --> 00:03:13,590 -Whoa, whoa, whoa. 71 00:03:13,590 --> 00:03:14,880 Wait, wait, wait. 72 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,720 You're moving in here? 73 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,050 -Well, where else am I going to move to? 74 00:03:18,050 --> 00:03:18,890 -Is everything all right? 75 00:03:18,890 --> 00:03:20,740 I heard noises and the chain lock on the front door's 76 00:03:20,740 --> 00:03:21,440 broken. 77 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:26,970 What's Sam doing here? 78 00:03:26,970 --> 00:03:28,070 -Just make me some eggs, will ya? 79 00:03:28,070 --> 00:03:30,740 I haven't eaten since 2:00am. 80 00:03:30,740 --> 00:03:32,960 -OK. 81 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:33,660 -Wait. 82 00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:35,650 Wait. 83 00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:39,570 You thought a criminal broke in our house and was in my room-- 84 00:03:39,570 --> 00:03:40,270 -Mhmm. 85 00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:42,130 -So as a weapon you brought a suck duster? 86 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:45,820 -Sure did. 87 00:03:45,820 --> 00:03:46,520 -You're insane. 88 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:47,030 -Am I? 89 00:03:47,030 --> 00:03:47,820 -Yeah, you are. 90 00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:48,380 There's something wrong with you. 91 00:03:48,380 --> 00:03:49,110 -Try and fight me off. 92 00:03:49,110 --> 00:03:49,990 Oh! 93 00:03:49,990 --> 00:03:50,690 [INTERPOSING VOICES] 94 00:03:56,890 --> 00:03:57,750 -Fine. 95 00:03:57,750 --> 00:03:59,270 I'll make my own eggs. 96 00:03:59,270 --> 00:04:00,220 -Stop it! 97 00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:01,650 Stop it! 98 00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:02,600 No, no! 99 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,780 -Hey! 100 00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:10,680 So I'm really being recorded right now? 101 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:11,380 -Yeah. 102 00:04:11,380 --> 00:04:12,830 They're spy glasses. 103 00:04:12,830 --> 00:04:14,640 There's a tiny video camera right here, 104 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,280 and then on this part there's a flash chip 105 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:18,480 that holds up to six hours of video. 106 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:20,790 -Do I look good? 107 00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:21,640 -You look great. 108 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:22,330 -Gibby. 109 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:30,200 -Hey, hey. 110 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:33,430 A couple of smokin' salmon just swam by. 111 00:04:33,430 --> 00:04:37,070 -What do you say we uh-- capture this moment on video? 112 00:04:37,070 --> 00:04:40,220 -I say, "action." 113 00:04:40,220 --> 00:04:42,070 -Hey, what can I get you little ladies today? 114 00:04:42,070 --> 00:04:43,390 -Do you sell smoothies? 115 00:04:43,390 --> 00:04:45,530 -Do-- what? 116 00:04:45,530 --> 00:04:46,230 -Move. 117 00:04:46,230 --> 00:04:46,730 Move. 118 00:04:46,730 --> 00:04:47,420 [SCREAMING] 119 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:48,200 -Out of my way. 120 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:53,130 [SCREAMING] 121 00:04:58,840 --> 00:04:59,540 -He's getting away! 122 00:04:59,540 --> 00:05:01,520 -No, he's not! 123 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,470 -Go get him, Gibbs! 124 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,450 -(CRYING) Call my mum! 125 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,970 -Oh man, that dude took over 300 bucks. 126 00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:17,360 Jerk. 127 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,350 Call the cops. 128 00:05:19,350 --> 00:05:22,080 You check the video, see if got a good shot of his face. 129 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,690 -On it. 130 00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:25,900 -Hey, Gibby. 131 00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:27,100 He's gone, you can come out. 132 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:30,760 -That guy runs fast. 133 00:05:38,220 --> 00:05:39,210 -Everybody aight? 134 00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:40,710 [INTERPOSING VOICES] 135 00:05:40,710 --> 00:05:41,500 -Hey, T-bow. 136 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:42,280 -What's up? 137 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:43,880 -The cables to our cameras are cut. 138 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,350 -Oh man, we didn't even get the thief on video? 139 00:05:46,350 --> 00:05:49,750 And now I gotta buy new cables too? 140 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,120 -Hey. 141 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:53,850 You do have him on video. 142 00:05:53,850 --> 00:05:54,550 -How? 143 00:05:54,550 --> 00:05:57,130 -These sunglasses have a teeny video camera right here 144 00:05:57,130 --> 00:05:59,140 and I was recording the whole time. 145 00:05:59,140 --> 00:05:59,840 -Shut up. 146 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:02,070 -True chiz. 147 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,800 -Yeah, that's my boy. 148 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,610 You know what? 149 00:06:05,610 --> 00:06:08,280 You take this coupon. 150 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:12,050 -Buy a dozen smoothies and get your thirteenth smoothie 151 00:06:12,050 --> 00:06:14,090 at 10% off. 152 00:06:14,090 --> 00:06:15,330 -Yes. 153 00:06:15,330 --> 00:06:16,030 Yeah. 154 00:06:21,860 --> 00:06:23,810 -(ANGRILY) Hey, Sam. 155 00:06:23,810 --> 00:06:25,560 Sam. 156 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:26,260 -Hey, Carls. 157 00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:30,530 -(ANGRILY) Can you tell me why I found 158 00:06:30,530 --> 00:06:31,630 this half eaten tamale in my bed? 159 00:06:34,580 --> 00:06:35,560 -Because I left it there. 160 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,360 Give me it. 161 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,530 -(ANGRILY) My bed is a place for me to sleep, 162 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:43,930 not a place for your Mexican fiesta platters! 163 00:06:43,930 --> 00:06:44,630 -Look. 164 00:06:44,630 --> 00:06:45,790 I hear your frustration. 165 00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:47,320 -(ANGRILY) And look what I found on the stairs 166 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,270 and not in the hamper? 167 00:06:49,270 --> 00:06:53,210 Someones little "I heart Vegas" panties! 168 00:06:53,210 --> 00:06:54,310 -You know I hate that word. 169 00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:55,010 -Panties! 170 00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:56,400 -Ah! 171 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,500 -Yo. 172 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,790 Can you guys take the girl fight upstairs? 173 00:06:59,790 --> 00:07:01,700 I want to watch Celebrities Underwater. 174 00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:02,400 -No. 175 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,550 I don't like that show. 176 00:07:03,550 --> 00:07:04,460 -Why? 177 00:07:04,460 --> 00:07:06,390 -It's not fun to watch d-list actors almost drown. 178 00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:10,370 -No, no, no. 179 00:07:10,370 --> 00:07:14,020 Why isn't Celebrities Underwater on my DVR? 180 00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:15,910 -I deleted it. 181 00:07:15,910 --> 00:07:18,300 -Wh- why would you do that? 182 00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:19,880 -I don't like the playlist menu cluttered up 183 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,750 with a bunch of shows I'm not in to. 184 00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:24,090 -(STAMMERING) 185 00:07:24,090 --> 00:07:25,030 -Look. 186 00:07:25,030 --> 00:07:26,520 If you want to keep staying here then 187 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:29,190 no more eating ethnic food in my bed. 188 00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:33,550 -Yeah, and no deleting my wet celebrities. 189 00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:35,160 -And no more panties on the stairs. 190 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:35,860 -Hey! 191 00:07:35,860 --> 00:07:37,360 I don't like that word! 192 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:38,720 -Well, too bad! 193 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:39,940 Stairs, stairs, stairs! 194 00:07:43,990 --> 00:07:46,180 -She meant "panties." 195 00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:46,880 Now I'm embarrassed. 196 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,840 -How can you not accept my coupon? 197 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,520 -See the date, expired. 198 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,250 -But you gave it to me yesterday! 199 00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:00,660 -Then you should have used it yesterday. 200 00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:02,640 -Ugh. 201 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,120 -Hey, hey! 202 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:05,610 Dave Mercer. 203 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:10,880 I watch you on the news maybe two, three times a year. 204 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:12,130 -Thank you. 205 00:08:12,130 --> 00:08:14,110 -Hey, what's up with this? 206 00:08:14,110 --> 00:08:15,780 -Channel 8 news is doing a story about me. 207 00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:17,510 -Actually, we're doing a piece on the Shadow Hammer, 208 00:08:17,510 --> 00:08:19,250 the man who robbed this place. 209 00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:19,950 -I'm the victim. 210 00:08:19,950 --> 00:08:21,920 -Right. 211 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:24,540 -So, uh-- why do they call him the Shadow Hammer? 212 00:08:24,540 --> 00:08:26,280 -Because he's never been caught on video. 213 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,010 Before he robs a place he sneaks in 214 00:08:28,010 --> 00:08:29,700 and disables the security cameras. 215 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:32,120 -I had to buy all new cables. 216 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:32,990 -We're live. 217 00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:35,010 -So now that you're the first person to have gotten video 218 00:08:35,010 --> 00:08:37,190 on the Shadow Hammer, are you worried that he might come 219 00:08:37,190 --> 00:08:39,140 after you for revenge given his violent nature? 220 00:08:42,370 --> 00:08:44,690 -Oh. 221 00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:46,270 I'm not the one that got him on video. 222 00:08:46,270 --> 00:08:46,970 -Then who did? 223 00:08:46,970 --> 00:08:47,470 -Him. 224 00:08:47,470 --> 00:08:48,170 That boy. 225 00:08:48,170 --> 00:08:49,490 Freddie Benson. 226 00:08:49,490 --> 00:08:51,430 DAVE MERCER: Freddie Benson. 227 00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:53,110 -No, no, no. 228 00:08:53,110 --> 00:08:54,460 I had nothing to do with this. 229 00:08:54,460 --> 00:08:55,900 -Sure you did. 230 00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,300 Freddie Benson's got these special nerds 231 00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:58,880 shades that record video. 232 00:08:58,880 --> 00:08:59,580 That's how he-- 233 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,590 -(WHISPERING) Would you quit saying my name? 234 00:09:01,590 --> 00:09:04,620 I don't want that hammer dude coming after me. 235 00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:06,580 I had nothing to do with this. 236 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,350 I'm not even Freddie Benson. 237 00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:09,770 -Yeah, you are. 238 00:09:09,770 --> 00:09:11,800 Freddie and his mum live in the same building as me. 239 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:12,810 -No, no. 240 00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:13,510 -Bushwall Plaza. 241 00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:15,400 -Shh! 242 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,170 -Aren't you guys in apartment 8-D? 243 00:09:17,170 --> 00:09:20,220 -I'm dead! 244 00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:20,920 -Freddie Benson. 245 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:28,620 -Welcome home. 246 00:09:37,630 --> 00:09:38,370 I made you a sandwich. 247 00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:42,300 -Listen. 248 00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:43,970 I really think that you should move back in with-- 249 00:09:43,970 --> 00:09:44,670 -Never. 250 00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:45,440 -She's your mother! 251 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,570 -Look, if you don't want me to stay here anymore that's fine, 252 00:09:47,570 --> 00:09:48,570 but I'm not going to go back-- 253 00:09:48,570 --> 00:09:51,600 [POUNDING ON DOOR] 254 00:09:53,370 --> 00:09:54,070 Come in! 255 00:10:01,010 --> 00:10:02,390 -Mum? 256 00:10:02,390 --> 00:10:03,090 -I know who I am. 257 00:10:05,650 --> 00:10:06,550 -Carly, you got my mother-- 258 00:10:06,550 --> 00:10:07,510 -You guys have to make up. 259 00:10:07,510 --> 00:10:08,680 -I don't want any part of her. 260 00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:12,360 -You don't deserve my parts. 261 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,660 -Why would I want worn out parts? 262 00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:16,360 -Cute. 263 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,610 Just take a good look at your future, baby, 264 00:10:18,610 --> 00:10:21,840 because this is where you're headed. 265 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,570 -My future's going to be just going to be just fine. 266 00:10:23,570 --> 00:10:25,050 -Who told you that? 267 00:10:25,050 --> 00:10:27,850 Your parole officer? 268 00:10:27,850 --> 00:10:31,770 -At least I call my parole officer. 269 00:10:31,770 --> 00:10:33,540 -Why don't you take a bath? 270 00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:37,130 -Because you didn't pay the water bill. 271 00:10:37,130 --> 00:10:37,830 -See. 272 00:10:37,830 --> 00:10:38,670 Now you're communicating. 273 00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:52,350 -Hey, hey. 274 00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:53,340 -Hi. 275 00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:55,260 -What happened here? 276 00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:58,110 -Sam and her mum. 277 00:10:58,110 --> 00:10:59,350 -Did they talk things out? 278 00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:04,880 -They started off talking, and then there was yelling, 279 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:06,150 and then our couch was in the kitchen. 280 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,190 -Dude, you gotta figure out a way-- 281 00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:12,410 -I already set up an appointment with a family therapist, 282 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:15,340 so if I can just get them to go there then-- 283 00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:16,810 -Uh, can I help you? 284 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,180 -Hush! 285 00:11:19,180 --> 00:11:19,880 -What's going on? 286 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:20,860 -Did you see the news today? 287 00:11:20,860 --> 00:11:23,610 -Who watches the news? 288 00:11:23,610 --> 00:11:25,500 -The Shadow Hammer piece was on. 289 00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:27,070 -There's a dangerous criminal out there 290 00:11:27,070 --> 00:11:30,760 who probably wants to hurt my Freddie with this hammer. 291 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:32,230 -Oh, cause you got him on video? 292 00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:35,100 -Yeah, and now he knows my name and my address. 293 00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:36,300 -Why does your chest look all thick? 294 00:11:39,450 --> 00:11:42,290 -Uh-- I've been working out. 295 00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:44,680 You know, push ups and milk. 296 00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:54,780 -That's quite a sports bra. 297 00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:57,910 -It's Kevlar, dumbo. 298 00:11:57,910 --> 00:11:59,650 -You're wearing a bulletproof vest? 299 00:11:59,650 --> 00:12:00,740 -I'm in danger. 300 00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:02,510 -Which is why we have to stay here for a while. 301 00:12:02,510 --> 00:12:05,020 -(PANICKING) Here? 302 00:12:05,020 --> 00:12:06,620 -I really don't think that's a good idea. 303 00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:08,860 -It's a bad one. 304 00:12:08,860 --> 00:12:10,630 -We already have Sam here. 305 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:13,810 -Please don't stay in our home. 306 00:12:13,810 --> 00:12:14,750 -I have to protect Freddie. 307 00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:15,880 -But this just isn't a good time-- 308 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:17,030 [INTERPOSING VOICES] 309 00:12:17,030 --> 00:12:18,820 -Freddie, unpack the suitcases, I'll 310 00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:19,880 start boiling the silverware. 311 00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:30,520 -And I've already made sure that neither of them 312 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,730 has anything sharp in their pockets, 313 00:12:33,730 --> 00:12:36,330 so now I'm just really hoping you can help them find a way 314 00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:38,310 to stop arguing and get along better. 315 00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:49,530 -You two are very lucky to have a friend 316 00:12:49,530 --> 00:12:53,400 who cares about you so much. 317 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,200 -You married? 318 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,110 -Excuse me? 319 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,180 -I don't see a ring. 320 00:12:58,180 --> 00:13:01,250 You got a woman or what? 321 00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:04,170 -Pardon my mommy's desperation. 322 00:13:04,170 --> 00:13:05,450 -Pardon my daughter's personality. 323 00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:10,490 -So why don't we all have a seat? 324 00:13:16,750 --> 00:13:17,560 -Hey, Mrs. Benson. 325 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,270 When are you-- Ah! 326 00:13:19,270 --> 00:13:21,850 -State your name and business. 327 00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:24,680 -Carly Shay, web show host. 328 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:27,190 -It's all right, she lives here. 329 00:13:27,190 --> 00:13:28,260 -Who are you? 330 00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:28,960 -Gunsmoke. 331 00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:32,750 -He's a bodyguard. 332 00:13:32,750 --> 00:13:35,190 I hired him to guard Freddie's body in case 333 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:39,220 that Shadow Hammer man shows up here. 334 00:13:39,220 --> 00:13:42,410 -Gunsmoke's fought in three wars. 335 00:13:42,410 --> 00:13:43,210 -That's right. 336 00:13:43,210 --> 00:13:47,330 I got a hole in my leg as big around as my thumb. 337 00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:49,390 -Someone shot you? 338 00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:51,810 -No. 339 00:13:51,810 --> 00:13:53,110 -Then how'd you get a hole in your leg? 340 00:13:53,110 --> 00:13:54,370 -Freddie! 341 00:13:54,370 --> 00:13:55,520 I found my snow cone machine! 342 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:56,310 Check it out! 343 00:13:56,310 --> 00:13:56,690 -Ah! 344 00:13:56,690 --> 00:13:57,390 [INAUDIBLE] 345 00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:01,770 -Oh! 346 00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:04,680 Not my face! 347 00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:07,230 Come on! 348 00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:08,380 Mrs. Benson. 349 00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:10,710 Could you please tell Gunsmoke that he does not 350 00:14:10,710 --> 00:14:13,400 need to protect Freddie from me? 351 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,530 -He was carrying a suspicious device. 352 00:14:15,530 --> 00:14:18,830 -It was a snow cone machine. 353 00:14:18,830 --> 00:14:20,390 -Which for all I know could have been filled 354 00:14:20,390 --> 00:14:23,170 with plastic explosives or deadly furon gas. 355 00:14:23,170 --> 00:14:25,420 -Well, it wasn't. 356 00:14:25,420 --> 00:14:26,770 -Then can I have a snow cone? 357 00:14:26,770 --> 00:14:27,470 -No! 358 00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:30,060 You broke it. 359 00:14:30,060 --> 00:14:33,460 [SCREAMING] 360 00:14:39,510 --> 00:14:42,090 -This isn't what I meant by, "express your feelings." 361 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,870 [SCREAMING] 362 00:14:43,870 --> 00:14:46,050 -Now please, ladies, come on. 363 00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:47,900 Come on. 364 00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:50,140 You two are making the opposite of progress. 365 00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:57,230 -Hey, those pants fit you real good. 366 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,860 -Stop it. 367 00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:02,120 Now I'd like to try something new. 368 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,680 -You're going to join a gym? 369 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:09,040 -No, Sam, you two need to spend some time in the therapy box. 370 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:09,740 -What's that? 371 00:15:09,740 --> 00:15:12,460 Like a tanning thing? 372 00:15:12,460 --> 00:15:15,150 -No, Pam, it's a new kind of therapy 373 00:15:15,150 --> 00:15:16,770 that's a bit unorthodox. 374 00:15:16,770 --> 00:15:17,510 -Oh, it's cool. 375 00:15:17,510 --> 00:15:18,210 We're not Jewish. 376 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,710 -Please follow me. 377 00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:27,260 In there please. 378 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,100 -What's this room? 379 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:29,330 -Don't picking your nose. 380 00:15:29,330 --> 00:15:30,430 -I wasn't picking, I was itching. 381 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,680 -Hey, why are you shutting the door? 382 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,610 -The point of the therapy box is to put you in a small space 383 00:15:35,610 --> 00:15:37,560 together with no distractions so you'll 384 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,450 be forced to communicate and work things out. 385 00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:43,070 -Well, what if I got to take a whaz? 386 00:15:43,070 --> 00:15:44,790 -There's a bathroom right behind you. 387 00:15:44,790 --> 00:15:45,490 -Wait. 388 00:15:45,490 --> 00:15:46,490 What about food? 389 00:15:46,490 --> 00:15:48,310 -No food, just talk. 390 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:56,850 -Who's ready for his mushrooms? 391 00:15:56,850 --> 00:15:59,300 -Why can't I eat pizza like them? 392 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:03,550 -Whoa. 393 00:16:03,550 --> 00:16:05,390 -What is this movie? 394 00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:07,740 -The Killing War. 395 00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:09,620 -Whoa. 396 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,850 -Don't you think it's a little violent? 397 00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:14,560 -Can we please watch something else? 398 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:15,260 -Fine. 399 00:16:15,260 --> 00:16:16,020 Put on Full House. 400 00:16:16,020 --> 00:16:16,720 -Awesome. 401 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,000 -Why hasn't Sam texted me? 402 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,580 -She's still at the therapist? 403 00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:26,540 -Yeah. 404 00:16:26,540 --> 00:16:28,070 I'm going to go there and see what's up. 405 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,450 -OK. 406 00:16:29,450 --> 00:16:30,760 I'm gonna grab some lemonade. 407 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:31,700 -Lemonade is for ballerinas. 408 00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:41,050 -You never listen to me. 409 00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:41,750 -Really? 410 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,400 Well try saying something interesting. 411 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:44,870 -All you care about is yourself. 412 00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:46,070 -Why can't you be more like Melanie? 413 00:16:46,070 --> 00:16:47,930 -Enough with the comparing me to Melanie! 414 00:16:47,930 --> 00:16:49,430 PAM: You threw up in my car! 415 00:16:49,430 --> 00:16:51,420 SAM: I was six years old, get over it. 416 00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:52,420 -Hi. 417 00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:55,330 -Your friends are insane. 418 00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:58,490 [YELLING] 419 00:16:58,490 --> 00:17:00,060 -How long have they been going at it like that? 420 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:03,250 -Nine hours. 421 00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:04,370 -Just let me in there. 422 00:17:04,370 --> 00:17:05,270 -Fine. 423 00:17:05,270 --> 00:17:06,810 You try talking to those freaks. 424 00:17:10,450 --> 00:17:12,710 -Why'd you close the door? 425 00:17:12,710 --> 00:17:18,130 -No one leaves the therapy box until those two learn to love! 426 00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:20,130 -You can't just leave me in here with them! 427 00:17:20,130 --> 00:17:22,100 -Then why'd you do in the first place? 428 00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:26,080 [INTERPOSING VOICES] 429 00:17:31,060 --> 00:17:34,180 -Chew your shrooms. 430 00:17:34,180 --> 00:17:36,970 -Ugh. 431 00:17:36,970 --> 00:17:40,940 -(BABY VOICE) Does Fweddie not like his mushy-rooms? 432 00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:47,190 Does little Fweddie not want to eat his special mushy-rooms? 433 00:17:47,190 --> 00:17:48,130 The little-- 434 00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:52,360 [GRUNTING] 435 00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:53,750 -Come on! 436 00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:55,090 What was that for? 437 00:17:55,090 --> 00:17:56,900 -I'm being paid to protect that boy, 438 00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:59,740 and nobody's going to lay a hand on him while I'm here. 439 00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:06,920 -Alright, Mr. Smoke, Freddy, Mrs. Benson-- 440 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,200 since you're so worried that the Shadow Hammer is coming here 441 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,050 to get ya I'm going to take care of this for you guys right now. 442 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,910 I just need my screwdriver, eh! 443 00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:19,630 Watch this. 444 00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:25,910 I'm going to pop this guy, right off. 445 00:18:25,910 --> 00:18:27,570 Ha ha! 446 00:18:27,570 --> 00:18:28,270 Ah! 447 00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:28,970 One moment. 448 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,830 -No real man drinks lemonade. 449 00:18:33,830 --> 00:18:35,130 -I like lemonade. 450 00:18:35,130 --> 00:18:35,830 -Mhmm. 451 00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:41,180 -8-H. Observe. 452 00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:46,980 Ah ha! 453 00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:48,880 Ah! 454 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:52,730 Now, if the Shadow Hammer comes by here, which is won't, he'll 455 00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:55,840 be looking for apartment 8-D, which is now down there. 456 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:58,270 So you're safe. 457 00:18:58,270 --> 00:18:59,170 -That's brilliant. 458 00:18:59,170 --> 00:19:00,300 -Thanks. 459 00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:01,240 Toodle-e-doo! 460 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,200 -Hey! 461 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,840 -Our suitcases are still-- 462 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:04,570 -(SHOUTING) Choo choo! 463 00:19:04,570 --> 00:19:05,990 Last stop! 464 00:19:05,990 --> 00:19:08,370 -[INAUDIBLE] 465 00:19:08,370 --> 00:19:11,480 -Yo, Gunsmoke, out you go. 466 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,850 -But I'm in the middle of Full House. 467 00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:16,770 GIRL (ON TELEVISION): You got it, dude. 468 00:19:16,770 --> 00:19:17,460 -That is hilarious. 469 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,580 -What difference does it make if you're 470 00:19:22,580 --> 00:19:25,050 wearing lipstick in here? 471 00:19:25,050 --> 00:19:28,090 -Welcome to the insanity that is my mother. 472 00:19:28,090 --> 00:19:28,790 -Hey, Sam. 473 00:19:28,790 --> 00:19:29,960 Remember when you were seven and I 474 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,260 told you that Fluffles ran away? 475 00:19:31,260 --> 00:19:31,960 -Yeah. 476 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:32,660 -I sold him. 477 00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:35,030 -Oh my God. 478 00:19:35,030 --> 00:19:36,260 -You sold my bunny? 479 00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:37,020 -To foreigners! 480 00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:38,480 [GASP] 481 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,290 -Yeah, well you want to know why that rich doctor 482 00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:41,060 stopped calling you? 483 00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:41,830 -Steven? 484 00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:43,450 -I told him you got hit by a bus. 485 00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,270 [GASP] 486 00:19:45,270 --> 00:19:46,550 -OK. 487 00:19:46,550 --> 00:19:49,120 We've all done things that we're not proud of, like selling 488 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:52,050 a child's pet or ruining the chances of a mother finding 489 00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:54,770 true love, but if we just try to look 490 00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:56,600 at the positive side of this it's not that bad. 491 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:57,770 -You know she's never even said one 492 00:19:57,770 --> 00:19:58,930 nice thing to me about iCarly? 493 00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:00,640 -Come on, I'm sure that's not true. 494 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:01,460 -What's our iCarly? 495 00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,690 -I'm out of here. 496 00:20:06,690 --> 00:20:08,540 This isn't working. 497 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:09,930 Open up! 498 00:20:09,930 --> 00:20:11,840 -You can't leave the therapy box until you 499 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,440 and your mother make nice. 500 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:18,240 [GROANS] They're never going to make nice. 501 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,270 They're both horrible in their own ways. 502 00:20:21,270 --> 00:20:22,840 No offense, you know that you're my best friend 503 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,810 and that I love you, but let's face it, you're a nightmare. 504 00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:25,510 -Thank you! 505 00:20:25,510 --> 00:20:26,880 -Well, you're no better! 506 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,050 You're suppose to be the adult here 507 00:20:28,050 --> 00:20:34,240 and you're acting-- [MAKING NOISES] 508 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,130 -Hey, what's wrong? 509 00:20:35,130 --> 00:20:37,750 -You got girl cramps? 510 00:20:37,750 --> 00:20:40,890 -No, I'm freaking out! 511 00:20:40,890 --> 00:20:41,590 -SAM: Why? 512 00:20:41,590 --> 00:20:43,260 --[MAKING NOISES] (PANICKING) Do you remember what 513 00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:45,040 happened in that tiny space simulator? 514 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,420 I can't handle being trapped in small spaces like this. 515 00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:51,910 [MAKING NOISES] 516 00:20:51,910 --> 00:20:53,060 -She's having a freak attack! 517 00:20:53,060 --> 00:20:53,760 What do we do? 518 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,490 -I don't know! 519 00:20:55,490 --> 00:20:56,620 CARLY: (PANICKING) What do you do? 520 00:20:56,620 --> 00:21:00,800 Make up so we can get out of this nut box! 521 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,790 [MAKING NOISES] Just admit that you're both a mess, 522 00:21:03,790 --> 00:21:05,390 but-- but that you love each other 523 00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,520 and you want it to be better! 524 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:08,520 -Why should I admit that? 525 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:12,020 [MAKING NOISES] 526 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,380 -Hey, Carly. 527 00:21:16,380 --> 00:21:17,620 Carly, Carly, Carly. 528 00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:18,320 Relax. 529 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,290 Relax, Carly. 530 00:21:19,290 --> 00:21:20,530 Hey, hey, hey. 531 00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:21,230 Watch me. 532 00:21:21,230 --> 00:21:21,930 Watch me. 533 00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:22,810 Watch me. 534 00:21:22,810 --> 00:21:25,980 Hey, watch me, OK? 535 00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:27,810 I love you, mother. 536 00:21:30,150 --> 00:21:30,840 [MAKING NOISES] 537 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:31,540 -Well, what? 538 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,090 You think I don't love you? 539 00:21:33,090 --> 00:21:34,350 -You never say it. 540 00:21:34,350 --> 00:21:36,590 -Well, it's not easy to say "I love you" 541 00:21:36,590 --> 00:21:39,080 to a daughter who thinks I'm-- you know, scummy. 542 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:44,440 [MAKING NOISES] 543 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:48,900 -I don't think you're scummy-- all the time. 544 00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:50,230 -Really? 545 00:21:50,230 --> 00:21:50,930 -Yeah, really. 546 00:21:50,930 --> 00:21:56,210 [MAKING NOISES] 547 00:21:56,210 --> 00:22:00,050 -You know, I guess I could've had a worse kid. 548 00:22:00,050 --> 00:22:02,190 -You mean that? 549 00:22:02,190 --> 00:22:04,280 -I do, and I'm sorry I always haven't been as understanding 550 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:08,320 as I could've been, you know, like when 551 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,920 you get arrested and stuff. 552 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,720 -Well, I could probably try a little harder 553 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:14,420 not to get arrested. 554 00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:20,920 -I don't like fighting with you. 555 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:24,420 -Why don't we get you a new bunny? 556 00:22:24,420 --> 00:22:27,730 -Why don't I call that Doctor, you know, tell him your 557 00:22:27,730 --> 00:22:28,430 not really dead? 558 00:22:32,450 --> 00:22:33,580 -Can I come home? 559 00:22:33,580 --> 00:22:35,000 -Oh, hug me, you little turd. 560 00:22:39,770 --> 00:22:43,260 [MAKING NOISES] 561 00:22:43,260 --> 00:22:50,140 -8-D. 8-D. 8-D. No. 562 00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:54,040 8-D. No. 563 00:22:54,040 --> 00:23:04,330 8-D. 8-D. 8-D. 8-D. 8-D. 564 00:23:04,330 --> 00:23:07,980 [THEME MUSIC]