I'll never know how we ever...
welcome home, stranger. How was seattle?
It was good.
It's always a little weird going back,but it was good.
Uh,your brother says hello.
Mm. How's derek?
- He's,uh... - Derek?
If you and sam have time for breakfast, I can scramble up a few more eggs.
Um... Sam's not here.
Good not here,like you're making him wait to see you
because it's extra hot to delay homecoming sex,
or bad not here,like things are not good?
I gave him a choice before I left.
I said,we either have a baby or we end things.
Wow. Uh,and?
And,uh,he thought it was best to stay at his place until he makes his decision.
Yay for love.
Right?
Why aren't you ready to go? We're already late.
These wedding invitations were supposed to go out a week ago.
Why didn't you send 'em?
I'll start on 'em today,okay?
No,not okay.We're falling behind.
If you had sent them,I could've told my mother
it was too late to invite aunt zelda,
but now she apologized to my mother for saying that her brisket was too tough,
and now we have to invite her.
Fine.She can sit next to buster hodges.
Uncle on big daddy's side.
Mama wants to add him.
Where would one find a buster hodges?
Oneonta,alabama.
I'm sure his address is in my old book.
Here.
Wow. Did that come with your,uh,trapper keeper in eighth grade?
Coming from the man who still has a magic wand collection.
Wh-oh,sweet mother.Who's this guy?
- It's no one. - Whoa. No one that you kept...
- Come on. - In your... 20-year-old address book?
It's billy.
Ex-husband billy?
Why'd you keep that?
The man cheated on me.I hate him for it.
End of story.I just-I don't...
Get why you keep a picture of somebody you hate.
You seriously want to discuss this?
You made me throw out pictures of every girl I ever looked at,
and I did it because I assumed,if I didn't,
it would make you feel like I still had feelings for them.
- Okay. - Fine.
- hey. - hi.
You're-you're back.
Yes,last night,late.
- I'm- I would've called,but - No,no,no,no.
- I missed you. - I- hey.
Yeah. I missed you,too.
How was,uh,how was your trip?
It was good.Yeah,it was good.
- Look,sam,the - I w-sorry.
You go.
What you asked me before you left...
I know that you expect an answer,and...
I just don't have one yet.
You need to decide.
And in the meantime?
You have a singles table when you're 25 and still want to set your friends up.
- I'm just saying,if bubba's coming alone - His name's buster.
Whatever.If he's coming alone,and aunt zelda is coming alone-
Are we allowed to bring a date to your wedding?
- no. - Sure.
Yet another advantage to being married-
Not having to fly solo at your friend's wedding.
Mm. Amen.
Amelia,if there's somebody that you'd really like to bring,it's fine.
Sheldon,are you bringing anyone?
You mean,do I have someone special that I really want to bring,
someone I'm happily dating,perhaps a fellow therapist/ book reviewer?
Unfortunately,no,I don't.
Well,you like southern accents,don't you,sheldon?
I'm sure charlotte has some friends that you could date.
Yes,and some of them even have all their teeth.
- I swear,cooper - Hey.
Good morning.
Hey,you're back.How was your trip?
Hey. It was good.
You know,I managed to safely deliver the baby of an old friend,
and,yeah,ended on a high note.
Excuse me,I'm looking for Dr.Violet turner.
Uh,I'm Dr. Turner,but our receptionist signs for all the packages.
I don't need a signature.
You've just been served.
Have a great day.
"liability for breach of confidentiality.
" "recently published book "violates
continued duty of confidentiality in regard to plaintiff.
" That's crazy.Who would sue you for that?
The woman who attacked me.
I'm being sued by katie.
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Private.Practice Season 04 Episode 19
Katie.The plaintiff is katie.
"after 18 months of psychiatric care,plaintiff now emotionally stable"-
She attacked violet and they let her go?
After only 18 months,they let her go,and now she does this?
"book is inhibiting the progress of plaintiff's continued mental recovery.
" Okay,this has gotta be some kind of joke.
It doesn't sound very funny to me.
No,it's not funny.
"seeks immediate cessation of publication,
marketing,and sales of aforementioned book.
" She's demanding you take your book off the shelves?
Ugh. I'm sorry.I-I have to deal with a patient.
Uh,vi,if you need anything from me,okay?
It's just been so long,I thought katie was gone from my life forever.
Well,they can't seriously think you have a responsibility
in her recovery after almost two years.
Of course not.She's your attacker.
You owe her nothing.It's not that simple.
Doctors have certain obligations to their patients
even after they finish caring for them.
No,those rights disappeared when she walked into our living room and
- pete. - No,she's a criminal!
She should've been put away for the rest of her life.
I agree.No court is gonna side with her on this.
This is ridiculous.I'm gonna get our lawyer on the phone.
- Pete. Hang on. - Back off,sheldon.
Even though violet changed katie's name in the book,
- she does still talk about katie's personal trauma - what are you saying?
That anyone who's seen the local news or read a paper or uses google
is gonna know that katie's the one that violet's been talking about.
Are you siding with katie?
Of course not,but we have to consider for a moment
that the doctor-patient confidentiality might have been violated.
Violet is not necessarily innocent here.
I did nothing wrong.
And shame on you for saying otherwise.
Val.
Hey.We didn't have an appointment today,did we?
Uh,it's not a baby thing.
Dr. Bennett was doing his routine checkup,
and he noticed my glands were swollen,so he did a biopsy.
He said it's probably nothing,but just in case,
I've made it very clear who gary can and cannot marry the second time around.
There's a list.
Hey,guys.I,uh,I have val's results.
You want to step into my office?
That can't be good.
Uh,val has burkitt's lymphoma.
That's cancer of the lymphatic system.
How... How bad is it?
Well,given that there was no evidence of it on her last visit,
it means it is aggressive,so we should get you into the hospital right away
and do some more testing.
This can't be happening.
Honey,what do you always tell me?
Don't borrow trouble.
We can fight this.
So what,surgery?
Well,with this type of cancer,surgery and radiation are not viable options.
Chemo has proven effective,but cannot be administered while you're pregnant.
- Okay,so I-in a few months - no,we don't have that kind of time.
We should deliver the baby right away.
I'm only at 25 weeks.
I know,but the baby is viable.
Dr. Bennett,you don't agree?
Well,if you deliver your son now,uh,he's likely to have serious health problems-
Neurological,muscular,his sight could be impaired-
And that's assuming that he survives.
He could die?
Yes,but so could you.Val...
I know that this is a horrible choice to have to make,but-
There is no choice.
We can try again.
But right now,we've gotta worry about you.
no. y - Not this time.
After all the miscarriages and leaving work and bed rest...
We did everything we were supposed to do-
We can't start over now.
Maybe we should take some time and think about this.
no. I'm carrying this baby to term.
I choose him... Even if it kills me.
Sam,we always save the mother first.
Val is making the wrong choice here,and her cancer is spreading fast.
Maybe,but every day makes a huge difference to this baby.
Right now his lungs haven't matured.
His visual and auditory systems are still developing.
But if we wait just two weeks,the chances of him surviving increase 80%.
In two weeks,val will be much worse.
She's becoming hypermetabolic,and the cancer is already overtaking her system.
Guys,hang on.If this woman were hemorrhaging
and a split-second decision needed to be made,
it would be a no-brainer,but in this case,she's conscious.
I mean,she's aware.It's her body.
- Thank you. - It's her life.
If she wants to give it up for her baby,that is her choice.
Without intravenous or intrathecal chemo administered immediately,val will die.
Okay.So let me understand.
You're saying that even though this woman has explicitly stated the fact
that she wants to have a child,no matter what the cost-
- sam - You're suggesting that we disregard that.
It is not the same.
Well,from my perspective in this situation,there's nothing left to be said.
So I talked to the lawyer.
He thinks katie might have a case.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna find every reference to katie in the book,
and I'm gonna figure out if I violated any privilege.
Look,I don't want you to worry about this.
- We're gonna fight - I can handle this,pete.
Just give a minute to figure out what the hell... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.I just never expected this to happen.
How could you?
I mean,I-i didn't do anything wrong.
I didn't do anything to hurt katie.And yet...
I think I should go talk to her.
No. Absolutely not. She's dangerous.
Maybe we could come to some kind of understanding.
Oh,for god sake,violet.
That's why we have a restraining order against her in the first place.
Pete,she's not gonna be the same katie.
I mean,no,if they're letting her out,
that means she's done a lot of work and she's ready to reintegrate.
I'm sure she has a therapist and a drug regimen and...
- Violet - She'll be closer to the katie I knew when I worked with her.
Yeah,and look how well that turned out.
She knows me.
Pete,no.And whatever else has happened,
that doctor-patient dynamic is still in place,
and that means maybe I could get through to her.
Let the lawyers handle it.
No,that's just gonna alienate her even more.
Violet,remember when you told me to sit down with my mother
and make amends before she died?
I was not there yet,but I trusted you.
Please trust me.
No matter what you say to her,it's not gonna change things.
It's just gonna make things worse.
I'm telling you,leave it alone.
♪♪
How are you feeling?
Better than gary.
He's usually the calm one.
I need him to be the calm one.
Give him some time.
I'm not good at that.
Think about what I do - Trading commodities.
It's a frantic business.
It never stops.
I never stopped.
Until gary made you?
The baby made me.
And gary,I guess... Well,he made it possible.
He doesn't want to lose you.
On our first date,he told me that he was really okay being with a woman
who had a career,but that no kids would be a deal breaker.
I promised him.
I can relate.
Sometimes,wanting a baby,it's,uh...
Well,it's like nothing else matters.
But you have to think about what you two have been through
and that you could die.
Yeah... I guess I could.
Val,what's going on here?
I want to give gary a baby.
And you've tried,but I - Is gary pressuring you?
No,no. It's not that.It's just...
- I did something once,and,uh... - What?
Five and a half years ago,gary and I had settled into being married.
I passed my series 3,
and I was finally getting a shot to trade with the big boys.
I was stressed and I wasn't eating,so...
I wasn't worried when I missed a couple of periods,but...
You can't become one of the guys and then walk around with a baby inside you.
You had an abortion.
- Did you tell gary? - I couldn't.
Well,you've gotta tell him now.I mean,that was years ago.
He won't understand.
Maybe not at first,but you'll help him to understand.
Not a lie like this.
I'm not saying it's gonna be easy,all right?
But what if you don't tell,if you continue to hide this?
What do you think that'll do to your relationship?
Val? Val,talk to me.
I need help in here!
Look at me.
Give me your hands.Breathe.
Breathe.Good.
Okay,okay,breathe.
hey.
Um... Are you still in love with billy?
What?
Your ex-husband,do you still have feelings for him or...
He broke my heart,cooper.
Right.But you kept his picture until,you know,this morning.
- Why? - You really can't let this go?
Honestly,no.You're dragging your feet on the wedding,
the invitations still haven't gone out,
and every time I bring it up,you look at me like I'm the crazy one.
And now there's this photo.
Look...
I found it a few weeks ago when we started the invitations.
I don't know why I kept it.
I just did.
So does he still mean something to you?
Is that what you think?
All I know is,we're about to start this life together,and this feels weird.
So what,y-y-you want to break up with me?
Maybe call off our wedding?
Of course not.
I just want to understand this.
It's history.It's done.
I don't understand.What - I mean,look at her.
It's called s.v.c.Syndrome.
It's a blockage of the vessels that drain the neck and head.
It's causing pressure and lack of oxygen to those areas.
You could stop breathing.
Is this because of the cancer?
It is.This is why we need to start treatment immediately.
After the baby's born.
Please,baby.
I can't lose you.
I need to come home and hear about your crazy day
with the mouth breathers at your office.
I need to replant our garden every year and surprise you.
You need to be a dad.
Not alone.
I don't want to do it alone.
- Do something. - Val...
Dr.Montgomery,don't do this.
You two have a deal,right,the truth no matter what?
i...
I had an abortion.
When?
I had just started trading,and I couldn't.
But I could've.
Why would you do that?
I would've stayed home.I would've done everything.
I'm so sorry.
Please.You have to forgive me.
I don't-I don't know if I can.
Am I completely crazy for doing this?
You really want me to answer that?
You're a little bit crazy,but I know you,
and I know you're not gonna be able to let this go,
- and you think you can help her,so... - That's why you're my best friend.Okay.
Okay,I'm gonna be sitting right here watching you,
so if you feel threatened at all,you give me the sign,and I'm there.
- bye. - bye.
Katie.
Oh,my god.
W- What- What are you doing here?
- You can't - we need to talk.We need to talk.
No,no,no.My restraining order-I could get in trouble.
Don't worry.I came to see you.
That's not how they'll see it.You have to go,now.
Please. I just need - Give me a minute.
Despite what you may think,I always tried to be a good doctor to you.
I always worked with the goal of getting you well.
I even kept you out of jail so that you could get the treatment that you needed.
Yes,and I will always be grateful for that.
Then why are you doing this?
Why are you... Attacking me again?
I'm not attacking you.
I'm standing up for myself.
I spent 18 months in an institution,working on my recovery,
dealing with my past and all the mistakes I made,and it was hard.
But I did it because I wanted a future for myself.
And then when I got out,I - I did all the right things.
I got a therapist,I got this job.
I- I even met a guy- Justin... A really great guy.
He had no idea who I was or what I had done.
He just cared about me - This me.
And then... Justin's sister... She read your book.
She read your book and... She put it together.
And she told him,and he was...
He was gone so fast.
Do you understand what... What your book is doing to me?
It's-it's taking away my clean start.
i - I changed the name.I tried to protect your identity.
People read the newspaper,they watch the news,they remember what I did.
It's not hard to put together those stories with the book.
The book is the story of my life,of all the things that happened to me.
And that night,what... What you did to me,that is part of it.
How can I write about my life if I don't write about that night?
But that's me anymore.You know that.
I do know that.
So then that book is our past,right?
Yours and mine.
I need to be looking forward.
As long as that book is out there,I can't heal.
Charlotte kept a picture of her ex-husband who cheated on her,
- and I confronted her about it - Ooh,that's unlike you.
She won't tell me why she kept it,and I'm worried.
She's lied to me before about this guy.
Am I crazy to make a thing outta this?
Uh,sit down.
Has she had any contact with her ex-husband since the divorce?
As far as I know,they have not talked since the day she walked out on him,
but,you know,they moved here together,and...
I looked him up. He's still here.
He's a mechanic in north hollywood.
Well,she might still care about him.
You think she still has feelings for this guy?
Yes,yes,but not necessarily the way you think.
Okay,I don't understand.
Charlotte might be holding on to that picture not
because she still cares about her ex,
but because she still cares about why he cheated on her.
She loved this guy,and he deceived her.
And no matter how much people tell her it wasn't her fault,somewhere deep down,
charlotte probably wonders,if on some level it was her fault,
if she did something to push the guy away or...
So how does she get past it?
Well,either she confronts him and tries to understand-
- That's never gonna happen. - Or she lives with it.
People live with all kinds of frustrations,cooper.
You know,believe me.
Uh,if this is a violet/marla thing-
Violet plays it down,acts like it's nothing.
But it's not nothing,cooper.It's something to me.
And to spitefully suggest that a woman like marla can be swapped out
for a friend of charlotte's- I mean,no offense-When I'm in love...
You're in love with marla?
Maybe,but the point is,i'll never know.
This whole "living with frustration" thing,maybe it's not such a good idea.
Excuse me.
Do you know where I could find,uh,billy douglas?
Right over there.Tall guy.Uh,name tag says "billy.
" Hey,uh,billy douglas?
What can I do for you?
Uh,I'm cooper freedman,and this may sound strange,
but I'm engaged to charlotte king.
And I need to talk to you.
Why did you push her?
- I didn't push her. - Yes,addison,you did.
She was a wreck.
The secret was eating away at her.
She was willing to risk her life to make it right with gary.
- I thought he'd at least listen. - Well,he did listen.
Yeah,right before he walked out the door.
- Val lied to him. - Val made a choice.
A unilateral choice.
She didn't discuss it with her husband.
She didn't even tell him what she was doing.
She just-she just did it and expected him to say it was okay.
But when-when you're in love with someone,addison,
when you're in a real relationship,you don't do that.
Our relationship is real.Sam,I love you.
Then why did you give me an ultimatum?
- We discussed it. - We did not discuss.
You said,either we have a baby or we end it.
That's not a discussion.
I can't date marla if violet hates her.
Why not?
It'll create work stress and personal stress,and people will be,well,unhappy.
Violet will be unhappy,just like you are now.
- Yeah,well - yeah,well,what?
How much do you like this woman?
Well,given the short amount of time I've spent with her,it's a lot.
And how much do you think violet cares about marla's review of her book?
Honestly? A lot.
How much should she care?
Not much.
Well,then tell violet.
The problem is not gonna fix itself,sheldon.
If it's bothering you this much...
Ha.Spying on the boy next door?
No. I-no.I was,uh-
Spying on the boy next door.
I get it... If you and sam were in the sixth grade.
Why don't you just go talk to him?
And say what,sorry I forced you to choose between having a baby
you may not want to have or losing me,but,you know,tick tock,sam?
Well,are you really sorry,addie?
I love sam.
I want things to work out.
Well,as much as you want a baby?
I don't want to have to choose.
So that's why you're making him do it.
my soul
and the sail needs the wind
'cause I get so lost
He's finally asleep.
Whew. Violet,again?
Why are you doing this to yourself?
Well,I may have to accept some culpability in all this.
I don't know,maybe I-I should pull the books from the shelf.
Look,the book helped you heal.
And who knows how many other people it will help?
Maybe not everybody,but taking it off the shelf is not the answer.
According to katie,it didn't help her heal.
I'm sorry.i - I know you didn't want me to go see her.
You're doing it again,exactly what you did
during katie's trial - Look where that got us.
Well,I had to try something.
So irresponsible of you to put yourself in jeopardy like that.
Do you remember that I found you bleeding on the floor?
You have me to think about.You have lucas to think about.
Katie was fine.She was better than fine.
She has her life together. She was-she was doing well.
How can you still have sympathy for her?
Because she's my patient.
Because she will always be my patient.
And turning my back on her now makes me a hypocrite.
She is not your patient!
She stopped being your patient when she cut out our son and left you to die.
You can't fix her.
No matter how hard you try,you cannot fix everyone,violet.
The sooner you accept that,the better off we'll all be.
- You busy? - Yeah.
Oh,that's too bad,because there's someone here that wants to speak with you.
Hey,charlie.
hey.
You been here all night?
I don't know what to say to her,but... .
I couldn't leave her either.
You know,val told me that you wouldn't forgive her,and I thought...
I don't know.People come to us all the time,wanting to have a baby
because they think it'll fix what's wrong in their marriage
or fill the void in their lives,but...
With you guys,the love is there.
I mean,it's always been there,right?
Val made a mistake.
She works with a bunch of jerks.
And every day she comes home,and I cook dinner,
and she tells me what they've done,and I give her perspective.
Usually I say...
"it's not cancer"
or "at least you're not married to them.
" And she laughs. And she relaxes.
It's hard to explain,but when val and I are together...
We just fit.
And I used to think that meant...
That we could overcome anything.
Now... I don't know.
Gary,val is willing to give up her life to make things right with you.
What are you willing to do?
You should know that even though it was hard for me to stop seeing marla,
I did it because of my friendship with you.
And I realize now that if we were really friends,
you never would've asked me to stop seeing her in the first place.
You would've set aside your grievance- Even though I understand it-
When weighed against my personal happiness,would seem petty.
I'm the one that got hurt here,not you.
And I think it's high time that you recognize it.
- You finished? - yes.
Okay.Well,here's how I see it-
If you were a really good friend,
you wouldn't make this an issue right now.
Out of all the women in the world,you wouldn't have chosen the one-
The only one,I might add - Who essentially assassinated me in print.
You would've said,"marla thompkins,dead to me," and that would've been it,
because that's what good friends do.
Then I guess the only thing we can agree on is that we shouldn't be friends.
Your boyfriend's brave.
He's my fianc?
And,yeah,he is.
But believe me when I say,I did not ask him to do this.
- I know... We kinda just left things - You cheated on me,billy,
six months into something that was supposed to be forever.
Shame on me for not realizing that "working late"
meant working on some girl called trixie.
Tiffany. Her name was tiffany.
I don't give a damn what her name was.
She wasn't your wife.
I know this isn't gonna make you feel any better,
but I didn't sleep with her because I didn't love you.
You're right.
That doesn't make me feel better.
Look...
When we first moved out here,
I didn't have a very good sense of who I was.
But now I do.
- Good for you. - I'm gay,charlotte.
Get out.
You're mad that I'm gay?
I'm mad that you're a liar and a cheat.
Turn around,walk your ass outta my office,and don't you ever come back.
- You should not have brought him here! - Before you say anything,I was trying to help you.
- I don't need that kind of help. - Yeah,you do.
He hurt you,charlotte,and you never knew why,and that created anxiety.
You felt it.I felt it.
And now you know.
You know it was nothing you did to push him away.
There's nothing wrong with you.
This is good,charlotte.This is closure.
I wish it were that easy,cooper.
We're doing the c-section?
yes.
So you convinced val?
I didn't.
What did you say to talk him into it?
I told him that unless he wanted to risk losing her,he had to say something.
What if he said no?
He wasn't going to.
He loves her.
Did you take her?
I do not want her anywhere near that woman.
- It's violet's decision. - You put her in danger!
We both know that she was gonna go no matter what,okay? We both know that.
At least I was with her.
We're on - We're on the same side here.
Okay? The last thing violet needs right now is the two of us fighting.
The truth is,i'm angrier at her than you.
She does what she wants when she wants.
hey,That's what makes her violet.
hey.
What happened with cancer mom and her preemie?
Uh,addison did the c-section.Mom's okay.
- And baby? - Uh,we'll see.
You know,no matter what is happening with you and addison,
it doesn't have to be awkward between you and me.
Oh,yeah,well,uh,I - I just got a lot on my mind.
More than just addison?
- Amelia,please. - Sorry.
Forget I asked.
She gave the ultimatum,you know,not me.
I know that.
The fact that we are whatever we are right now is on her.
Until you answer.
She didn't have to do it like this.
Maybe not,but she knows what she wants. I mean,do you?
Not yet.
Do you think maybe that's your answer?
Mr. Douglas.
You've always had a temper.
Yeah,well...
It wasn't my idea to come see ya.
But your guy cooper... Can be very persistent.
I know that.
Why didn't you just tell me you were gay?
I was confused.
I thought that...
I wondered if the problem was you.
That's what tiffany was about,
trying to see if I felt different with another woman.
I didn't.
You realize,that doesn't make it okay.
The fact that you never told me...
Yeah.I didn't mean to hurt you.
I - I know that sounds stupid,but it was nothing you did.
You... Are an amazing woman.
Was I kidding myself to think you'd feel relieved?
It's just,uh...
Back then...
You were the right choice... The perfect guy.
My parents loved you,my friends loved you... I loved you.
And now knowing...
That I fell in love with a man who could never love me back...
Not the way I needed-
I never thought of myself as a woman who makes bad choices.
Is that what this is about?
You feel like an idiot?
You couldn't have known.
Hell,I didn't know.
But this time... Don't you think you got it right?
I'm risking everything coming here.
oh!Katie,what are you...
I know you didn't write the book to hurt me.
You needed to heal,too,and - katie,you shouldn't be here.
Oh,but it's okay for you to come to my work?
What I did to you...
It was wrong,and I know I can never make it right.
It's with me all the time.
It's-it's like...
It's like this wound that never heals,no matter how hard I try.
I relive it in my sleep.
I agonize over it when I'm away.
- I forgive you. - That's just it.
I can never forgive myself.
Well,it-it'll... It'll just take some time.
I've caused you so much pain.
All my problems...
It was wrong for me to take them out on you.
I'm sorry.
I'm-i'm really so sorry.
hey.
I let my own insecurities get in the way of your happiness,and that was wrong.
I mean,it's my problem,and I-I shouldn't have taken it out on you,
so I'm... Sorry.
And if you like marla,you should go for it,with my blessing.
How many chances do we get at love,right?
there you are on the crowded street
so far ahead of me
how I want it just to be
you got some time?
Uh,I'm supposed to go to a peds meeting at the hospital.
Yeah,I rescheduled that.
I really want to get these invitations out.
Closer in,each step
what is going on? You came home late. You left early.
I just needed some time to think.
Are you not mad at me anymore?
Depends.
Are you prepared to lick?
Sure thing,charlie.
you call me that again,you will be hobbling down that aisle.
ow!
'cause you stole
my heart
away
violet.
Katie dropped the lawsuit.
Our lawyer just called.He doesn't know why.She just dropped it.
I knew I could get through to her.
But I'm still so,so worried about her,pete.
I wish there was more I could do.She needs help.
- She - there's more.
Katie dropped the lawsuit,
but not before her lawyer filed a complaint with the medical board.
They've launched an investigation into whether or not to suspend your license.
then for just one split moment in time
hey.
but I drifted off in mind
to my...
look,I realize that I'm asking you for everything,sam.
But I feel like if I don't ask for what I want,then what's the point?
I want you and I want a baby.
I want you and a baby.I just... I do.
I know.
and?
I have that.
I have you and maya and olivia-
Well,then you can understand why I would want that,too.
Th-there's no way that...
You can't compromise?
Look,we can't just take a little bit more time and-and figure this out as we go?
No,my mother killed herself,sam.
no,she spent her entire life never being who she really was,
never saying out loud,"this is who I am,and this is what I want,
and then when she finally did get the courage up to go for it,it was too late.
She waited too long.
Sam... I... Have already waited too long.
You know,first it was "wait until you meet the right guy,"
and then I met derek,and then I told myself,"addison,be smart.
Wait until you finish med school,"
then "wait until you finish your residency,"
and then "wait until you finish your fellowship," and my marriage exploded,
and then I had an affair,and then it was,"oh,no,not now.
You can't have mark's baby.That would be unseemly.
" And I waited and waited and waited until I only had one egg left.
I mean,it's not that I didn't want kids.
It's because I took having kids for granted,
because a 13-year-old girl can do it,
because a 75-year-old man can do it.
You know who can't do it?
An overeducated,talented,strong,powerful woman in her 40s.
How ridiculous is that?
How mad am I at my body?
I waited too long.
Okay?And now it's time.
I have a clock inside of me,sam.It's not just ticking.
The alarm is going off.
It's screaming.
It's time.I can't wait.Not anymore.
i'm sorry.I...
I know that was a lot,but,uh,you understand? Do you get it?
yeah.
Okay.
Are we breaking up?
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