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Great line-up tonight.
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We've got Ant and Dec,
we've got Ricky and Cate, plus,
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Elvis has entered the building.
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Let's start the show!
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Let's start the show!
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.
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Hello, good evening,
you're all so welcome to the show!
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We are going to have
such a great evening.
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Drink, laughter, chat.
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It could almost be
described as a work event.
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Yes, there have been accusations
this week of yet another illegal
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party in the Downing Street garden.
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There's Boris, laughing
at the people who have
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to follow the rules.
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There were claims that the gathering
could actually have broken the law.
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If only there'd been
a policeman nearby.
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On Wednesday, Boris faced a grilling
at Prime Minister's Question Time
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where Keir Starmer urged
him to resign.
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Difficult to believe,
but that man could soon be walking
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up to the doors of Number ten...
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and congratulating Rishi Sunak
on becoming Prime Minister.
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But in the end, the big question
for us all remains -
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did Boris Johnson mislead Parliament
and the British public?
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I just don't know!
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So, let's meet tonight's guests!
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Later we'll have music
and chat from rock'n'roll
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legend Elvis Costello,
ladies and gentlemen.
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CHEERING.
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But first, he's the
multi-award-winning creator
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of The Office, Extras
and the record-breaking
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hit show After Life -
It's Ricky Gervais, everybody!
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CHEERING.
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They're the nation's favourite kings
of Saturday night television,
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it's the two and only
Ant and Dec!
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CHEERING.
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And she's the double
Oscar-winning star of Elizabeth,
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Lord Of The Rings and The Aviator -
it's Cate Blanchett, everybody!
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CHEERING.
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It's good, it's good.
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Well done.
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Good clapping, Ant
and Dec, thank you.
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Thank you!
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I could really hear it.
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I wa like, wow, that is some solid
clapping over there, well done.
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Welcome, all.
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Cate Blanchett, it's been
a while since you've
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been in the studio.
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Yes, since I've been anywhere!
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And Ricky, is it true you are
pleased that the sofa is gone?
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Yeah.
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I never liked it.
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It was always awkward,
it wasn't comfortable.
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I mean, I like this.
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I don't like people much.
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No offence.
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And I like these because I've got
a bad back, so this is perfect.
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Ideal.
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Because we are doing
the socially distanced,
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but of course, you will notice,
Ant and Dec, no.
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Are you in a permanent bubble?
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Not a permanent one.
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We are.
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An occasional one.
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We bubble up together when we do TV
shows and stuff weekly testing.
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We just bubble up together.
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It sounds so wrong!
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But it feels so right, Graham!
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You know that's prison talk.
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LAUGHTER.
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Pass the soap!
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And the Ant'n'Dec thing.
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So it's always been
like that, but apparently
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at Buckingham Palace,
not like that?
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No, it wasn't like that.
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They know which way it goes
at Buckingham Palace.
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No, we were very lucky enough to be
awarded OBEs a few years ago,
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and you get called to the Palace
to get them, so we're there,
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and we get our little briefing
on the little anteroom.
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Anteroom, yeah.
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Anteroom.
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And the Dec-eroom.
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Wasn't one, was there?
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And then they say you will be
called, and we do this
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alphabetically, so Mr Donnelly,
you'll be called.
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I said, "What, sorry?"
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So for the first time ever, I got
to go first and received the OBE,
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so I've had my OBE slightly longer
than Ant's had his.
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I like how he said,
"And when you get offered the OBE,
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you've got to go to the Palace
to collect it."
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Like you'd go, "Yeah, drop it off."
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But I went to the Palace to have
lunch with the Queen.
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I was playing Queen Elizabeth.
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I'm Australian, but I've
played her twice.
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And I went to have lunch.
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I went in a cab, because I thought
that's just what you do,
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and that was a bit weird.
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And then I sat down, and there
were 12 of us at the table.
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There was the head of
the Fire Department,
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I think there was a scientist,
and there was me, and I was sat next
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to him, and he spent the whole lunch
asking me how to connect the wires
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in his DVD player.
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What?
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It's like he thought,
I'm an actor, I would know how
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to connect the wires.
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Do you think I'm a technician?
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I couldn't quite work
out why I was there.
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I didn't get an OBE, though.
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Know what I've got?
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I've got nothing.
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Nothing.
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Not a sausage.
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I was invited once, early days,
and I said I couldn't make it.
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Maybe that's it.
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What were you doing?
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Yeah, what were you doing
if you couldn't make it?
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I didn't want to go, did I?
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Royal people.
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Yeah, whatever.
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It was early days,
The Office had just been out,
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and they sent me a thing saying,
we'd like you to attend
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a party with the Queen,
and the thing to tick,
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I will attend, I will not attend.
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And I thought that was so harsh.
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So I put we will not attend.
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But then I called the number
and said, I didn't just
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want to send that in,
do not attend, so I'm just
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saying I can't make it,
and it was some butler or something,
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he went, "Oh, you're the first
person that ever bothered calling."
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So maybe I got some good points.
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Not an OBE or an MBE.
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I think they went I don't
want to mess with that,
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I want to go straight
for a knighthood.
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They don't want to waste your time.
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Exactly.
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DEC: Playing the long game.
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They know you don't like leaving
the house, so when you do,
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you want the top gong.
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It's got to be worth it.
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Now, here's the thing.
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Cate Blanchett, when you're doing
the press for Nightmare Alley,
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you had a bit of a nightmare.
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What was the thing?
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Was it the premiere
in New York, and everyone
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was there but you weren't?
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Yes!
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Yeah, I couldn't travel,
because no one wants anyone
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from England to travel anywhere.
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And all the cast were there in
New York, and I couldn't get there.
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And they said,
"You're going to be...
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"We're going to put you up
on the screen for a little bit,
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and you can say hi, and then that
would be great."
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And then what happened was,
you know how big cinema screens are.
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The cast were like this,
and all of a sudden they cut to me
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and it was like whoosh!
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And I had to look at myself.
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It was so...
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We've got the moment
when you realise what is going on.
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So this is the cast, there they are.
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Look at how small they are, and then
they introduce Cate Blanchett.
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LAUGHTER.
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APPLAUSE.
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How long were you there?
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Way too long!
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You look horrified.
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I was there for like an hour.
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No!
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And so I really quickly realised
that I had to sit like this,
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because I was going to
be too distracting.
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And all it made me do
was want to go to the bathroom.
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Who thought that was a good idea?
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Just have a telly at the end.
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Let's have her face 40 feet tall.
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That'll work.
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It was horrible.
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Let's start tonight
with Cate Blanchett's latest movie.
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This is called Nightmare Alley.
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It's in cinemas from the 21st
of and this is the latest
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It's in cinemas from the 21st
of January and this is the latest
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from the brilliant mind of director
Guillermo del Toro.
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So, tell us all about it.
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Who do you play, what's it about,
all of those sorts of things?
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I play a psychiatrist,
a very attractive psychiatrist,
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to Bradley Cooper's conman,
who has moved through the circus
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into polite society and is trying
to make an enormous amount of money
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by fooling people
through mind power.
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And then I face him at his own game
and get him to try and face
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the truth of who he is.
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And basically, as a therapist,
which I didn't realise,
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I did a bit of Freudian therapy,
and the couch was there,
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and I never got on it,
it was a bit too confronting.
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But as a therapist, you spend most
of your time looking up the nostrils
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or at the eyelashes of your patient,
so it was quite interesting looking
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up Bradley's nostril for five weeks.
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Very attractive nostrils.
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Let's watch a clip.
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This is Bradley Cooper's
character meeting you in your
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psychiatrist's office.
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PIANO MUSIC PLAYS.
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Mr Carlisle, come in.
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Slow day?
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Have you not heard?
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We are at war.
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I'm aware.
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How did you know it was me?
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What brings you here?
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You left me your card, didn't you?
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So...
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Here we are.
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Oh, not me.
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I never drink.
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Microphones.
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That's right.
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00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,400
Wire recorder.
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00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:18,440
You recording this?
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No.
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My office is wired to record
all analysis sessions.
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You've got the smoother line, but
you run a racket, the same as me.
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Is that what this is?
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APPLAUSE.
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Ooh!
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It's a great kind of late '30s,
early '40s potboiler,
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00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,120
but when you saw that,
I mean, the look of this thing
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is just so beautiful.
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Amazing.
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I mean, the production
design was incredible.
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It was like the whole set
was like a Rorschach test, you know,
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it was so incredible.
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And every single detail,
Guillermo's across.
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We had the lighter
from the Maltese Falcon,
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and we had the crystal
from some other movie.
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He collects movie memorabilia.
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There.
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Is that the lighter there?
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It took about 97 takes to get it
to work, but it was worth it.
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And it's not just you and Bradley.
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It's got a great cast
including your Carol
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co-star Rooney Mara.
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Yes, yes.
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But it was complicated for Rooney,
because she fell pregnant.
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Do you still use that
expression, you fall pregnant?
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You fall over, you go, oh!
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You walk up and you go,
oh, I'm having a baby!
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LAUGHTER.
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Anyway, yeah, she fell
pregnant, so it was...
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Do you fall or get?
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At my age, you have a fall.
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That's when you know you're old.
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He had a fall.
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You have a fall.
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So she fell pregnant,
that in the middle of the film?
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Because there was a big break?
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Well, the pandemic.
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Have any of you masked people
out there, this thing
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00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,160
called the pandemic?
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LAUGHTER.
256
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,680
Yeah, I mean, my stuff
was so hermetically sealed
257
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,880
in the office, but then
there was a break.
258
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:05,440
Everything stopped, and then
everything kind of started again.
259
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,560
Because, Ricky, in the latest series
of After Life, you chose to kind
260
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:09,760
of ignore the pandemic.
261
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,040
Yeah, I mean...
262
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,760
It was like a year building up
to it, and then I made the decision
263
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,400
that hopefully it will be over,
and in ten years' time,
264
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,560
I don't want people watching
it going, "Oh, yeah,
265
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:22,120
remember the pandemic?"
266
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,760
So there's no one in masks.
267
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,200
It's mentioned that it sort
of happened, but I didn't
268
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,240
want to feature it.
269
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:33,560
I didn't want it to
hang around forever.
270
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,600
It's such a complicated thing,
you know, making...
271
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,240
There's before and there's after,
and so the things I've done
272
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,120
subsequently, you feel like we can't
not mention the thing, but then,
273
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:45,680
you don't want to dwell on it.
274
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:48,640
In terms of dealing
with the pandemic, and and debt,
275
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,240
In terms of dealing
with the pandemic, Ant and Dec, you,
276
00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,920
I feel, have had to deal with it
more than most.
277
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,600
You must have been so surprised
and saddened to be in
278
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,840
Wales for a second year.
279
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:03,880
LAUGHTER.
280
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:04,920
Not saddened.
281
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,160
Surprised, not saddened.
282
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,640
But similar to Ricky,
as well, is that, you know,
283
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,760
you don't want the shows to feel too
Covid heavy, because people are
284
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:13,440
having to deal with it every day.
285
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:14,840
Yeah.
286
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,120
You know, television and movies
and stuff is escapism,
287
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,760
and you want people to enjoy it
and forget about their
288
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,720
troubles for a little bit.
289
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:26,080
So we tried to do that as much
as we possibly could with shows
290
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,960
like I'm A Celebrity we were back
in Wales, but, you know,
291
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,720
there was just no getting around it.
292
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,360
Sometimes when the storms blow
and rip up your production tents,
293
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,480
and you've got to evacuate the site,
and then you can't, you know,
294
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,920
you can't put everybody back
together because they've all got
295
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:41,600
to go and isolate and
form Covid bubbles.
296
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:45,480
And you're right, all the other
things still carry on through Covid.
297
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:48,640
I had a year worrying about closing
down the set for Covid.
298
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,040
We didn't lose one minute
to Covid, but it rained.
299
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:52,920
So there's always...
300
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:53,960
But you're in England!
301
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,400
Why are you surprised by that?
302
00:12:55,400 --> 00:13:03,120
I like to control everything!
303
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,560
When the production
shut down, though,
304
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,000
were you able to leave Wales?
305
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,280
No, we had to stay.
306
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:09,920
It was quite strict protocols
for us, because we couldn't even
307
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:11,640
have our family come to visit us.
308
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:15,000
We were just in these little fishing
cottages next door to each other,
309
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,880
so we'd pop to each other's,
share a bit of a dinner,
310
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,040
and then just hang around
until the storm passed
311
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,320
and we could get back on with it.
312
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,440
I think we've got a picture
of the two of you enjoying Wales.
313
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:27,480
LAUGHTER.
314
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,920
APPLAUSE.
315
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,320
That was one of the days
that the show wasn't
316
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:35,520
on so we decided to go for a lovely
walk on the beach.
317
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:36,560
Brisk walk.
318
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,600
A brisk walk.
319
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:38,880
CATE: The height of summer.
320
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:42,200
And so next year, are
you going to do it again,
321
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,320
are you going to demand it has to be
in Australia or we're
322
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:46,560
not going to do it?
323
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:47,640
No.
324
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,760
If it has to be Wales,
then we will do it in Wales,
325
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,760
but we want to go back to Australia.
326
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,160
Australia is I'm A Celebrity's
spiritual home, and, you know,
327
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,800
that's where the show has been
for 20 years, and we
328
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,000
want to go back.
329
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,160
And the weather's great
and we love it there.
330
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,080
Because basically every celebrity
in Australia is saying,
331
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:05,880
I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!
332
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,800
If we can possibly
get into the country,
333
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,640
we would love to do it.
334
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,320
Because, Cate, you do
sound quite adventurous.
335
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:12,400
What was the...
336
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,280
Was it a swimming thing
or a boating thing you took your
337
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:19,680
kids on in Australia?
338
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:24,200
Oh, no, I had this moment
where we went to this water hole
339
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,840
that was called Rose's Hole.
340
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,520
Said the actress to the bishop!
341
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,360
Where was this place, you say?
342
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,200
I must visit it.
343
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,520
Anyway, Rose's Hole...
344
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,440
I love Australia!
345
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,600
And we were swimming
for two hours and I
346
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,480
suddenly thought, the kids were in
there and I thought, I should
347
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,880
probably ask, are there
any crocodiles here?
348
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,720
And they went, no, no crocodiles.
349
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:54,120
So, we swam for two hours
and we were sunning ourselves
350
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:58,960
on the rocks afterwards and we said,
why is it called Rose's Hole?
351
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,200
And they said, oh,
because once Rose,
352
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,320
who is now 80 years old, found
herself sunning here and there was
353
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:08,360
an alligator beside her.
354
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:11,440
I went, so where did
the alligator come from?
355
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:14,040
Oh, they are in the water!
356
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:15,960
And so they thought
I was concerned about
357
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,840
crocodiles, but I would be fine
with my three children swimming with
358
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,000
alligators.
359
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,640
I went, no.
360
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,800
No, actually, no.
361
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,320
Yeah.
362
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,760
That is the way it is.
363
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,440
Because you have never
been to Australia?
364
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,040
It's too far.
365
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,440
This was a chore for me.
366
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,080
This is the first time I have
worn underpants in a
367
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:37,120
year!
368
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,320
Australia is a long way.
369
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,280
Spiders, snakes, alligators.
370
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,400
Crocodiles.
371
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,600
Jellyfish.
372
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:43,640
Sharks.
373
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:44,680
Sharks.
374
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,400
Because it is properly
dangerous, isn't it?
375
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,720
I mean, you suffered.
376
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:49,480
You.
377
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,960
You know.
378
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,960
They're not your own legs, are they?
379
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,160
These are.
380
00:15:56,160 --> 00:16:00,400
Bitten by a wombat.
381
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,040
I got a very nasty spider
bite on a Bush Tucker
382
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,680
Trial.
383
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,120
Is that your nickname for it?
384
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:11,160
LAUGHTER.
385
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,280
It wasn't nasty, it
was a tiny little...
386
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,200
We were not even sure what it was.
387
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,400
It was on my hand.
388
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,080
It was during Martina
Navratilova's Bush Tucker Trial.
389
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,480
And we were down there...
390
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,080
That is such a weird sentence.
391
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,720
Did it involve Rose's Hole?
392
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,920
Did it have anything
to do with your life?
393
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,840
We were watching Martina
Navratilova doing a Bush
394
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:32,880
Tucker Trial.
395
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:34,960
Eating testicles or something.
396
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,120
And offering words of
encouragement, you know, you are
397
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,080
doing great, Martina.
398
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,440
Get it down ya!
399
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:41,520
Get it down ya!
400
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:44,120
LAUGHTER.
401
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,880
We went back up to the production
office afterwards and I
402
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,960
felt my hand swelling up a bit.
403
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,120
A mouse spider.
404
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,120
It could have been.
405
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,960
So, anyway, I went home
that day and then...
406
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,920
And then he went in the next day.
407
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:02,760
I went in that day, and it kept
getting worse and I woke up the next
408
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,680
morning and it turned
into two blood blisters
409
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,320
on the side of my hand
and
410
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,720
I saw them and I was
like, oh my god!
411
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,600
And I am a bit queasy anyway
at the best of times.
412
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:14,240
So, we got back into
the production office and I was
413
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,400
like, I need to see the medic,
I need to see the medic.
414
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,520
So, they sent the medic
up to the office.
415
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,440
We have desks which are
opposite each other,
416
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:25,280
like this and so the medic comes
in and he says, can I sit in your
417
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:28,880
chair, I am going to lean over,
I have got to give him an injection?
418
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,760
So, I said, no problem
and I got up and I just
419
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:32,960
left the office, shut
the
420
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,400
door and I thought I would
give them some privacy.
421
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:38,480
And then I thought, it has been
a while and I opened the
422
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,360
door, he was on his back,
with his legs in the air,
423
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,080
with an oxygen mask on his face.
424
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,480
And the medic was fanning him.
425
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,520
I had passed out!
426
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:46,560
Because of the needle.
427
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:47,600
The needle!
428
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,640
Oh, really?
429
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:49,680
Not the spider bite!
430
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,360
It was the needle that got him!
431
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,000
Did you know it was
a spider at the time or
432
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,200
did he tell you that?
433
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,880
Did you see a spider bite you?
434
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:57,920
No.
435
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,320
He told me, he said,
that is a spider bite.
436
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,760
A mouse spider, did you say?
437
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:02,840
A mouse spider.
438
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:03,840
They get necrotic.
439
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,320
They come inside when it rains.
440
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:07,640
There are so many things.
441
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,480
They are evil, they are evil!
442
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,600
So many things in Australia that can
just kill you by looking at
443
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:13,640
you, you know.
444
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,800
All these little tiny things
and the Australians as
445
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:16,840
well...
446
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:17,880
Can kill you.
447
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:18,920
By looking at you.
448
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,600
They can kill you.
449
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,000
Yeah, they don't hide
in your toilet or come up
450
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,120
your sink?
451
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,280
The Australians make it great
sport, they take great
452
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,680
pleasure in scaring British people
about the dangerousness of their
453
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:34,560
animals.
454
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,760
And still you want to go back there?
455
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,440
It is I'm A Celebrity's
spiritual home.
456
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,480
OK, fair enough!
457
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,400
And also it is four
weeks in Australia
458
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,440
in November, December.
459
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:44,640
It is lovely.
460
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,720
So Cate's Nightmare Alley
is in cinemas soon,
461
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,800
meanwhile Ant and Dec
462
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,240
bring us a new Saturday night TV
treat, Limitless Win.
463
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,040
It is a new game show.
464
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,920
It is currently running Saturday
nights on ITV at 8:30 and it
465
00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:02,040
is available on ITV Hub.
466
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,440
So come on guys, this
is your first new format
467
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:05,760
in, what, ten years?
468
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:06,800
Ten years.
469
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:07,840
Ten years, yeah.
470
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,760
So, is that exciting
or is it frightening?
471
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:10,800
What is it?
472
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,480
It is a bit of both, yeah.
473
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,640
It is quite exciting,
but then you do realise
474
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,280
that you are putting something
new out there to be criticised
475
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,440
and there are so many more ways that
people
476
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,880
are criticising things nowadays
that there was ten years ago.
477
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,520
But, yeah, one of them
has been on and it has
478
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:25,560
gone really well.
479
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:26,760
And we love filming it.
480
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,400
So, obviously it is a quiz,
you ask questions, people win
481
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,840
prizes, but what makes
this different?
482
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,400
What is the unique selling point?
483
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,040
It's unique selling point
is there is no limit to what
484
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,320
you can win.
485
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,160
It is the world's first
limitless jackpot.
486
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,120
Can I go on it?
487
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:41,520
Absolutely!
488
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,440
I really want a new bathroom.
489
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,080
And I need about £15,000.
490
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,880
Perfect, yeah.
491
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,280
You can do that.
492
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,160
But then in the gallery you have
somebody from the insurance company,
493
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,800
because you have got to insure
against these potential huge wins
494
00:19:56,800 --> 00:20:01,200
and they never want us to lead
the contestants in any way, so,
495
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:06,640
as we do, we just play along and get
excited, and if we think that the
496
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:11,040
contestant hasn't understood it,
we will just say, read the question
497
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:15,280
again, but that is as
much as we can say.
498
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,680
There is someone there
with a briefcase who is sweating.
499
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:23,200
LAUGHTER.
500
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,000
That is the real show!
501
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,080
That show right there.
502
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,520
Like that.
503
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,920
Every other quiz show
in the world has a top
504
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,720
prize, you can win £1 million,
you can win £100,000, whatever.
505
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,120
This one, as long as
you can stay in the
506
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,040
game, and keep going,
you can keep climbing
507
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,480
the limitless ladder.
508
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,400
And the answer to
every question is a
509
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:45,440
number.
510
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:48,080
So, for example, Ricky,
how tall is an Oscar statuette, you
511
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:53,640
probably know this, in centimetres?
512
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:54,840
Now.
513
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,800
18 and a half inches?
514
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,720
What happens with this
is, the number you
515
00:20:58,720 --> 00:20:59,880
give is also...
516
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:02,880
You can't win the money now.
517
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,480
I take quizzes this seriously.
518
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,360
If you get this right,
we will buy Cate a new kitchen.
519
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:09,800
What is in it for me?
520
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,240
Why do I care about that?
521
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:16,440
She is not a charity,
why am I doing this for her?
522
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:19,080
So, the answer you give
is also the number of steps
523
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:20,280
you take up the ladder.
524
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,680
Now, if you give us
an exact answer, you bank
525
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,560
the money, if you are under
the exact answer, you lose lives,
526
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,720
if you are over the exact answer,
even by
527
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,880
one, you are bust
and it is game over.
528
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,280
Are you saying that
there is a point to it?
529
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,200
If you are exact, you win the money.
530
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,880
If you are below, you lose lives.
531
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,280
If you are over...
532
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,000
You lose lives?
533
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,560
It is a high-risk game.
534
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,440
Do I get something
for being close, then?
535
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:45,640
You stay in the game.
536
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,600
And you can keep
going up the ladder.
537
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,480
So, if I just go low
and I get it wrong, I
538
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:51,640
am still in the game?
539
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,040
But, when you run out
of lives, you are out.
540
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:55,880
33 centimetres.
541
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,880
Can you have your family members?
542
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:03,360
Please get it right, Daddy!
543
00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:05,040
We are making it sound
very complicated.
544
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,440
33 centimetres.
545
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,080
Right.
546
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:09,520
That is not an exact answer.
547
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,160
Right.
548
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:12,360
So, you are losing lives.
549
00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:13,400
Right, OK.
550
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,840
OK, what is the exact answer?
551
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,200
You don't say that yet.
552
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:21,080
You are losing one life, it is 34.
553
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,120
Oh!
554
00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:24,000
So close!
555
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,040
So, that would mean...
556
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,680
I nearly said 34, but then
you said if you go
557
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:28,720
over, you are out.
558
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:29,760
Exactly.
559
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,880
I mean, come on, work away!
560
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,200
Let's watch a bit.
561
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:37,000
We have got an exclusive clip,
I think this is from episode three.
562
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,960
This is Limitless Win.
563
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,760
Your time has started.
564
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:51,840
Camel toe!
565
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,960
Have you got a picture in your head?
566
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,120
Is it two?
567
00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:56,800
Has everybody got
a mental image now?
568
00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:01,680
I know I have!
569
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,840
Can you talk us through
what you're thinking of?
570
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,960
Really, no!
571
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,000
Not really.
572
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,520
Two, two.
573
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:09,800
Two each.
574
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:10,960
Four legs.
575
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:12,720
Makes eight.
576
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:13,760
I would say eight.
577
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,800
We don't find out!
578
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,520
We don't want to spoil it.
579
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,200
I think it is more than eight.
580
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,120
I bet you camels have some odd toes.
581
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,280
Well, the thing is,
they are mammals and actually,
582
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,320
they would have five
digits on each thing
583
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,000
that would be fused,
so do you
584
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,800
count...
585
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,000
It would be like that.
586
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,680
Sorry, I take this very seriously.
587
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,760
You're the insurance guy!
588
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,960
Yeah.
589
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,400
I think they got it right.
590
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:39,840
I think they got it right.
591
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:40,880
So, it is eight?
592
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:42,080
Two, four, six, eight, yeah.
593
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:43,120
Eight.
594
00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:46,240
Just after we asked that question,
the whole audience were just kind of
595
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,120
like doing this.
596
00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:52,240
You say you can't help them.
597
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:53,720
No, not at all.
598
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,880
Also, we don't know
the questions or any of
599
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:57,320
the answers before they come up.
600
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,000
We have purposely
said, don't tell us
601
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,040
the questions,...
602
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,520
You definitely don't
want to know the answers.
603
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:04,560
We won't.
604
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:08,400
We kind of want to live it with them
and we want to go on the
605
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:09,840
journey with each
set of contestants.
606
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:10,880
You have changed.
607
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,960
We were talking in the office,
and remembering Wonky Donkey.
608
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:15,000
Oh, yes!
609
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,040
And Wonky Donkey...
610
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,400
Wonky Donkey!
611
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,800
You were so horrible
to the people who called in!
612
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,120
Particularly Dec.
613
00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:22,560
I would say you were particularly...
614
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:23,920
I have mellowed slightly.
615
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,320
This is a little clip
of Wonky Donkey back in
616
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:27,760
the day.
617
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,600
Ten seconds, what have we got here?
618
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:30,680
Scottishgator.
619
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:34,280
It doesn't rhyme for goodness' sake!
620
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:35,480
A Scottishgator!
621
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:36,520
What?
622
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,560
An Scottishgator?
623
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,880
Doesn't rhyme!
624
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:43,600
Doesn't rhyme!
625
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,040
I think we have established
it is not a Scottishgator.
626
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,360
APPLAUSE.
627
00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:52,440
I want you to host
Limitless Win like that.
628
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,840
Just shouting at people,
you're stupid!
629
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,640
We would be cancelled within a week.
630
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,560
What was the answer?
631
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:01,600
What?
632
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:02,760
What was the answer?
633
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:05,600
Jock Croc.
634
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,520
Because it is a crocodile in a kilt.
635
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:08,560
Good, good.
636
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,920
We used to do that every Saturday
morning and the only one rule to
637
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:13,600
that game was, it had to rhyme.
638
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,240
And these kids used to ring
up every week and go,
639
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,400
Scottish crocodile and I would
go, it doesn't rhyme!
640
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,320
There is one rule, it has to rhyme!
641
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,000
It used to really wind me up.
642
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,440
A lot of that was genuine.
643
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:24,640
Right.
644
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:28,000
I am still waiting for you to bump
into somebody you shouted at on
645
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,040
telly in the street.
646
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,080
Bop on the nose.
647
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,280
But you did a children's book.
648
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,360
Look, you have done some amazing
things, but Flananimals...
649
00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:38,720
Flananimals, yeah.
650
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:39,760
Years ago, yeah.
651
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:44,240
I did a children's book,
just made stuff up.
652
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:45,240
That works, though.
653
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:46,960
That is exactly how
fiction works, just
654
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,800
made it up.
655
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:52,320
There was an amazing animal,
that gets really, it is so
656
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,920
cute and cuddly, but if you tell it
it is cute, it eats your head.
657
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,280
Yeah, there is a lot
of that going on.
658
00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,960
Is that the basis of your comedy?
659
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,120
Well, no, it is about
the sort of futility
660
00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:07,000
of nature, it is all sort
of quite sad and horrible.
661
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,880
Like, there is one that is
just an eye, but it is
662
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:10,920
blind.
663
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:16,800
LAUGHTER.
664
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:20,560
That's nature!
665
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,200
Did any of them have,
like a number of toes fused
666
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:24,760
together?
667
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,640
There is one that is born
without legs and it swallows its
668
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:31,000
hands to walk on, but then when it
finds food, it cannot eat because
669
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,040
its mouth is full.
670
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:33,080
LAUGHTER.
671
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:37,320
APPLAUSE.
672
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,200
Now, you hosted the Golden Globes.
673
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,600
Is it five times you have
hosted the Golden Globes?
674
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,040
Five times over ten years, yeah.
675
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:44,080
OK.
676
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,240
I don't know if you guys
know, you probably
677
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,720
don't know, the Golden Globes have
just sort of vanished.
678
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:50,680
They didn't happen this
year, for loads of
679
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:51,680
reasons.
680
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:52,720
Because of you?
681
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,800
I am getting the blame
for it, I am, yeah.
682
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,880
It changed, because the first time
I did it, like ten years ago,
683
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,280
the sort of press, particularly
the industry press in America
684
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,440
was like, why is he saying these
awful things
685
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,360
to the most beautiful people?
686
00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:07,800
And then by the last
time, right, they
687
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,280
were going, good, give it to them,
we are sick of celebrities!
688
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,440
So it was quite
zeitgeisty, it hit a mark
689
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,840
last time, but I am
really glad I did it,
690
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:17,800
but I think that is enough.
691
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,440
Were you in the audience for any
of Ricky's Golden Globes?
692
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,400
Several times.
693
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:23,840
It was a little bit...
694
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,240
I think it cuts to
you in one of them.
695
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,640
I think when you talk
about Jeffrey Epstein and then,
696
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:33,440
why it does cut to me?
697
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:41,400
Woo!
698
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:46,000
But it is a little bit like,
the experience of being in the
699
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,840
room with you at the Golden Globes
is a little bit like the tail end of
700
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:50,880
the family Christmas.
701
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:51,880
Yes.
702
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:52,960
The drunk uncle.
703
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,200
The drunk uncle.
704
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,480
Do we show him where
the bathroom is?
705
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,160
Or do we just let him...
706
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:02,280
I can feel that and I can see
the tension and then when
707
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,400
I do a joke about them, they think,
oh, that was all right.
708
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:06,840
Leonardo DiCaprio
was sort of laughing,
709
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,480
thinking, phew, he could have said
a lot worse, you know.
710
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,640
That is the lovely thing
for us watching, as
711
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,320
well as, the jokes
are obviously funny,
712
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:14,760
but then it is seeing
the
713
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,680
faces in there and how they take it.
714
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,560
Did you always say every joke or did
you ever stop yourself?
715
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,000
No, I went there, you know.
716
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,480
It was my adrenaline rush.
717
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,080
I am not a brave person.
718
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,760
So, that is my only
extreme sport that I do.
719
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:34,640
Saying things in front of them.
720
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,280
I just wondered if there
was a gag where you thought,
721
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,200
oh no, that has gone a bit far.
722
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,240
Oh, yeah.
723
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:41,280
Most of them!
724
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,680
You know, you think the things
I say are terrible,
725
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,120
think of the things I think!
726
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:46,160
LAUGHTER.
727
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:49,280
APPLAUSE.
728
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,880
Ricky Gervais brings us the third
and final series of his
729
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:52,920
acclaimed sitcom After Life.
730
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,720
It is streaming
on Netflix right now.
731
00:28:55,720 --> 00:29:00,440
And this has been
a phenomenal success.
732
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:01,480
Yeah.
733
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,400
Hundreds of millions
of people have seen it.
734
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,560
Yeah, overwhelming, I never dreamt
it would become this
735
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:08,840
big.
736
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,520
The nicest thing is the emotional
response to it, you know.
737
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:15,120
Like, people come up
to me in the street,
738
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,000
just saying, I lost my husband,
the week before or my
739
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:21,720
brother and you suddenly realise
that everyone is grieving and things
740
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:26,360
like this sort of give them a chance
to start a conversation.
741
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:27,720
I was worried about it.
742
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:30,360
I thought, hold on, how
are people going to laugh at
743
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:33,960
a show about a guy who wants to kill
himself because his wife dies of
744
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,920
cancer?
745
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,080
And they can, because real
life is like that.
746
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,520
It goes on all the time.
747
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,600
I think we second-guess the audience
a little bit too much, as a
748
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,000
broadcaster, oh, can they take that?
749
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,040
They can, yeah.
750
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,400
And even, like, the swearing,
somebody said, there is a
751
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,480
lot of swear words in this, yeah,
but that is how people talk!
752
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,080
That is how people talk, you know.
753
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,960
I sometimes have to explain
to Americans that the C word isn't
754
00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:58,920
quite the same here.
755
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,320
It is a term of endearment!
756
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:05,040
Absolutely!
757
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:06,040
They can't get that.
758
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:07,240
Tell yourself that, Cate, yeah!
759
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,400
In America, it is a misogynistic,
horrible insult and
760
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:10,400
here...
761
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,520
I was in Edinburgh, a few years ago
and I was walking along,
762
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,600
and there were two policemen
and they came along and one of them
763
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,560
went, oh, Ricky Gervais,
you're a funny BLEEP!
764
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:21,480
Oh, thank you very much!
765
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,440
LAUGHTER.
766
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,760
I'll take that!
767
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:27,800
Yeah.
768
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,000
So, this is season three.
769
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,920
Have things happened
between the end of season
770
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,760
two and the start of season three,
where do we find you?
771
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:37,680
It is sort of that
nebulous time jump.
772
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:39,840
It has moved on, but,
you know, you can
773
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:41,040
watch it all as one.
774
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,440
Yeah, it is sort of a few
months have passed,
775
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:47,040
yeah.
776
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,160
He is going through the seven stages
of grief and, I suppose, it
777
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,080
asks the big question,
if you lose everything,
778
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:58,360
is life still worth living?
779
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,280
Listen, let's watch
a clip from After Life.
780
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:03,240
This is Tony finding
some joy in life.
781
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,680
HE LAUGHS.
782
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:07,720
Oh my God!
783
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:12,320
Prat!
784
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:13,760
Maybe life is still worth living!
785
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:15,200
Oh my god!
786
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:16,280
That's not funny, actually.
787
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:17,320
Wow, I disagree.
788
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:23,880
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.
789
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:27,760
Because this is Netflix,
it gets translated.
790
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,880
How many languages
is it translated into?
791
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:31,880
160 languages.
792
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:33,120
Wow.
793
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,600
I didn't know there were
that many languages.
794
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:36,680
But it does, yeah.
795
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:40,640
I suppose all different
dialects, you know.
796
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:41,680
Do they dub you?
797
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:43,240
They do, but I watch...
798
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,880
I mostly watch foreign dramas now
and I never watch the
799
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:46,880
dubbed version.
800
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:48,120
They're unwatchable.
801
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:52,200
I always watch it with,
you know, subtitles.
802
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,600
A very good question though,
for the next series of
803
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,720
Limitless Win, our quiz show, how
many countries is it shown in, how
804
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:01,040
many languages?
805
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:04,520
I can tell you that exactly, though.
806
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:05,960
You don't want to go above.
807
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:07,400
I might be ending on 59.
808
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:08,640
Ricky Gervais said 160.
809
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:14,400
We'll have that.
810
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:15,840
Do you know how many questions?
811
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:17,040
Yeah, I got a few.
812
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:18,240
There you go, right, yeah.
813
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,400
Amazing.
814
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,080
Does the bad language
translate or do
815
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:24,640
some countries just go, oh, golly?
816
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,640
I don't know, but some
people send it
817
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:33,840
to me and it really makes me laugh,
with me, in an accent, saying it,
818
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,000
like my voice, but someone
speaking French or Italian.
819
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,480
That is funny.
820
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,120
The really weird thing is, so,
they get actors to dub
821
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:45,080
you all over the world,
but they actually sound like you!
822
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:46,760
Is it the same person in every...
823
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,480
No, no.
824
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,360
They find people, that not only
speak that language, but that sound
825
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,120
like the actor they are dubbing.
826
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:55,360
So, it is really weird.
827
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,520
I think it sounds like me
speaking French and
828
00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,840
Spanish and Italian.
829
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:02,480
You know, if they dub you,
say, in The Office and
830
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,000
they dubbed you in Extras,
does the same person...
831
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:06,040
Yes, that's right.
832
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:10,000
I suppose they are sort
of doing an impression.
833
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,640
So, you can't die, otherwise that
actor will be out of
834
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,480
work?
835
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:15,520
Yeah.
836
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:17,480
I have never thought of that.
837
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,680
Again, that shouldn't be my worry.
838
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,320
Have you met the French Cate
Blanchett or the German Cate
839
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:27,480
Blanchett?
840
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:30,320
Yeah, there is a German Cate
Blanchett, I think, but I have
841
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:31,960
not met her.
842
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:36,160
That would be weird.
843
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:37,200
Wouldn't it?
844
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,560
It'd be weird if she went,
I hope she makes a good film next!
845
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:41,600
For once!
846
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,520
Something that someone will see!
847
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:45,680
I hope she's got more
dialogue in this one!
848
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:48,960
I hardly said anything
in the last one!
849
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:50,360
Talking about international
careers, ladies and
850
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,760
gentlemen, let's not forget,
Ant and Dec, huge international pop
851
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:59,120
stars as PJ and Duncan.
852
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,640
Oh, yeah!
853
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:02,680
Yes.
854
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:03,720
LAUGHTER.
855
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:04,760
APPLAUSE.
856
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,720
That is bubbling up.
857
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:08,880
It's horrible.
858
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:13,440
You look like you're farting!
859
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,400
I do.
860
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,680
Peter Stringfellow.
861
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,600
I did not remember that
photo being taken.
862
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:21,600
Just let one out.
863
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:23,360
Maybe you were preoccupied.
864
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:24,400
Yeah, I was preoccupied.
865
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:30,800
I farted!
866
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,200
Yeah, we had a very small
pop career, for about
867
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:34,240
three or four years.
868
00:34:34,240 --> 00:34:37,360
It went far, I think
there was a story where I
869
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,760
think the big thing had
gone but you still had
870
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,240
contractual obligations
and you were in Indonesia.
871
00:34:42,240 --> 00:34:44,800
Yeah, we had to go to
Jakarta, because we had
872
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:50,720
a few contractual gigs we had
to play and, I call them gigs,
873
00:34:50,720 --> 00:34:56,400
but you would just turn up
at the Hard Rock
874
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,960
Cafe and you would kind of mime
along to a couple of songs and the
875
00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:01,000
fans would be there.
876
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,200
You will take the money.
877
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,080
Take the money and get out of there.
878
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,960
But we landed, we landed
in this place in Jakarta.
879
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:09,880
We were not that
bothered any more, we
880
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,720
knew that we didn't want to do it
any more, we thought...
881
00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:17,880
23 and already jaded!
882
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,040
We wanted to concentrate
on telly, we loved doing
883
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:23,880
TV, so when we got back to Britain,
that was what we were going to do.
884
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:27,480
So, we thought we would just turn
up, do our thing, be polite, get out
885
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:30,560
of there and we turned up
and the guy from the record company
886
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,920
says, no, you have to do a press
conference, the press are there and
887
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:37,760
we want you to meet them and talk
to them and then of course, you can
888
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:38,800
sing a cappella and...
889
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:39,800
Well, what?
890
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,480
Sing a cappella they said,
the Backstreet Boys were here last
891
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,360
week and they sang a cappella
for the
892
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:45,400
press.
893
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:46,440
Yes, because they can!
894
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:47,560
LAUGHTER.
895
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:48,760
We can't sing a cappella!
896
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:49,960
We are not doing it!
897
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:51,640
We don't want to and we can't!
898
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,280
So, we said no, we're not
going to sing a cappella,
899
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:56,920
we will go and we'll chat
and will answer any questions.
900
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,880
And we will mime to the track.
901
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:04,960
It was also Let's
Get Ready To Rumble.
902
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:06,280
They wanted you to do...
903
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:10,000
Yeah, you can't!
904
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,920
Yeah, Let's Get Ready
To Rumble, so we
905
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:15,040
said no and then on the walk down
there, they were going, please,
906
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,240
please do it for them.
907
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:17,240
I was like, no!
908
00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:20,360
They are just the press, there
was maybe about ten people there or
909
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:21,400
something.
910
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,280
They don't want to hear it,
we don't want to do it.
911
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:25,320
So, we sit down.
912
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:26,520
We are answering the questions.
913
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:27,960
It is all going pretty well.
914
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:31,080
It was kind of wrapping itself up,
nobody asks us to sing a
915
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:32,080
cappella.
916
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,720
We were just about to leave,
the guy from the record
917
00:36:34,720 --> 00:36:37,320
company says, how about
you sing a cappella?
918
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,840
What?
919
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,480
And then all the press go,
yeah, that would be good,
920
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:44,520
yeah, let's do that!
921
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,160
We are like, no, no,
we will come back, we will
922
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:48,200
do the show later.
923
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,320
And they were like no,
a cappella, a cappella!
924
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:51,760
And they went on and on.
925
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:54,880
So, we said no, we're not gonna
do it, we get up and
926
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,000
we leave.
927
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,680
The press started to boo us.
928
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:00,800
That was in the press conference.
929
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:01,880
What did you do?
930
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:02,880
Did you do it?
931
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:03,920
Did you sing?
932
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,080
I almost started on the
guy from the record
933
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:07,120
company.
934
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,280
Do you want to hear them do it now?
935
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:16,400
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.
936
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:20,720
Do you want me to move?
937
00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:22,000
We could easily do it.
938
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,440
# Let's get ready to rumble.
939
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:24,840
# Let's get ready to rumble.
940
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:25,880
# Get ready!
941
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:26,920
# Get steady!
942
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:27,960
# And rumble!
943
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:29,960
# Everybody rumble!
944
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,320
See?
945
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:35,280
That was good!
946
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:40,000
It was like Little Mix
were in the room.
947
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,440
Right, it is time for music.
948
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,320
This man has topped the charts
for almost 45 years and is
949
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:49,720
today releasing his 32nd album.
950
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:53,440
Here performing Paint
The Red Rose Blue,
951
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,360
accompanied by Steve Nieve
from the Imposters, please
952
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:56,400
welcome Elvis Costello!
953
00:37:56,400 --> 00:38:03,320
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.
954
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:17,200
# He was the youngest
of five and the only son
955
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:25,160
# He called his wife by a nickname
as his father had done
956
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:33,320
# Not the root, not the branch,
not the flower or stem
957
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:41,400
# He had the wildest of dreams
but he rarely remembered them
958
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:45,800
# Turn the red rose
959
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,800
# Paint the red rose blue
960
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:53,320
# What was he to
961
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,280
# But turn the red rose
962
00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:00,000
# Turn the red rose
963
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,960
# Paint the red rose blue
964
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,800
# What was he to
965
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:15,200
# But turn the red rose
966
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:26,560
# He haunted the shadows
967
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:27,760
# And waited until
968
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:28,960
# They had secrets to sell him
969
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,720
# And some practical skill
970
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:39,880
# Theatrical blood
is convenient to spill
971
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:48,520
# He turned on the light switch
and watched her undress
972
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,480
# Oh, you'd never guess
973
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:59,640
# What came next, unless
974
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:09,160
# He said "All of these hours that
I've skulked in the shade
975
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:17,400
# The sun never struck
me or made me afraid
976
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:25,400
# Now she and I share
unspeakable pain
977
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:33,400
# I have to believe
in something, in anything"
978
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:38,160
# Turn the red rose
979
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:42,240
# Paint the red rose blue
980
00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:48,400
# There's nothing left to do
but paint the red rose
981
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:52,120
# Paint the red rose
982
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:58,800
# Turn the red rose blue
983
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,560
# There's nothing left to do
984
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:09,520
# But paint the red rose blue #
985
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:23,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.
986
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:26,920
Elvis Costello, ladies
and gentlemen, and Steve Nieve!
987
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,320
Thank you very much, gentlemen.
988
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,840
Come on over, Mr Costello.
989
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:33,280
Thank you so much for that.
990
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:36,000
Have a seat, sir, do.
991
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,040
Brilliant.
992
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:38,080
Thank you.
993
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:41,640
Thank you so much for that.
994
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,480
That was gorgeous.
995
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:46,880
And it's on the new album which is
out today, The Boy Named If.
996
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:48,560
And these are songs
about a childhood.
997
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,760
Is it your childhood, or a...?
998
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,880
If you listen to those songs,
and you think how sad and dark
999
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:57,720
they are, don't I...?
1000
00:41:57,720 --> 00:42:03,400
Everybody's childhood,
the record has different scenes
1001
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:04,600
and characters over the record.
1002
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,520
I didn't write it
like a concept record.
1003
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:10,720
I leave that sort of thing to Ricky.
1004
00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:17,240
But it is the idea of each song
is like a scene when you're
1005
00:42:17,240 --> 00:42:19,360
in your early teens,
you're all about wonder still.
1006
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:27,160
Childhood.
1007
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,560
You can stand on your head,
you can imagine fantastic
1008
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,960
inventions, you can sing,
dance, skip, and all those things
1009
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,360
that the minute certain types
of impulses raise their head
1010
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:37,240
within you, then you become totally,
you know, consumed with teenage lust
1011
00:42:37,240 --> 00:42:39,880
and the study of algebra and other
useless objects that you'll
1012
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:43,840
never use in real life.
1013
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:51,440
So I wanted to catch what that felt
like and then catch what it feels
1014
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,280
like a little bit later,
and I'm looking back at a sinful
1015
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,680
scandal like, you know,
the sort of thing you've been
1016
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:57,720
in your life.
1017
00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:00,760
I feel very judged!
1018
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:01,920
Now, Dec, you've met before?
1019
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:02,960
We both have met.
1020
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:06,680
You came on our Saturday
morning show years ago.
1021
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,080
Yeah, we go way back to show
business school together.
1022
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:10,120
We do.
1023
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,240
And I was thrown out of class
because they couldn't have two Dec.
1024
00:43:13,240 --> 00:43:16,360
Because I'm a Declan as well, we're
the two Declans in show business.
1025
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:17,840
Name a third!
1026
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:18,880
Yeah.
1027
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:22,960
There isn't, is there?
1028
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,000
That it!
1029
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,040
I know.
1030
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:26,960
I thought, he's stolen
my act when I...
1031
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:28,160
I thought, what's going on?
1032
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,560
I had to change my name
to Elvis, you know?
1033
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,000
To get out of his shadow!
1034
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:33,440
There's no other Elvis, is there?
1035
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:34,480
LAUGHTER.
1036
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:39,080
And you and Ricky,
you've worked together.
1037
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:42,400
Yes, he did me a lovely favour.
1038
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:45,520
He just did me a favour out
of the kindness of his heart.
1039
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:48,640
He recorded a song for me for one
of my films, early days,
1040
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:56,080
The Invention Of Lying.
1041
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:58,920
He did a version of Cat Stevens'
Sitting, and it's just beautiful.
1042
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:00,360
That was great, by the way.
1043
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:01,400
I love his voice.
1044
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:02,440
I love his voice.
1045
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:03,640
Thank you so much, Ricky.
1046
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:05,080
It's got even better with age.
1047
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,440
And Ricky persuaded me to do this
song, and I have to be honest,
1048
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:11,080
I knew Matthew And Son and,
you know, I don't know
1049
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:12,120
the other songs by...
1050
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:13,160
Morning Has Broken.
1051
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:14,360
I didn't know this song.
1052
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:17,480
He introduced me to this lovely
song, so I had to learn it.
1053
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,400
You turned it round in about a day.
1054
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:21,800
You went into a studio
with some of your mates,
1055
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:24,680
and you sent it to me and said,
is this all right?
1056
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:25,720
I went, yeah!
1057
00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:26,760
That's all right, yeah!
1058
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:27,760
Well, you know.
1059
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:29,200
And Cate Blanchett, you have met?
1060
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:30,400
Can I tell this story?
1061
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:31,440
Have I got time?
1062
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:32,480
I'm not in charge!
1063
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:33,520
But you usually are!
1064
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:36,480
You are very worried about time.
1065
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:38,960
You are very worried about time!
1066
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:40,600
Please can I be in charge?
1067
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:42,520
We were in showbiz school
together, we decided
1068
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:45,200
to take over Graham's show.
1069
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:47,840
The first and only time
that my wife Diana Krall ever
1070
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:55,800
accompanied me on stage...
1071
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:59,800
We were not yet married,
and I was playing at a benefit show
1072
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:02,440
with her, and I decided that
I would really impress her
1073
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,520
by singing this Elton John song,
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word.
1074
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:07,680
It's always a good way
to start a relationship.
1075
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,520
A song I'd never sung.
1076
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:10,720
So she's playing it beautifully.
1077
00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:14,200
She looks so elegant.
1078
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:15,640
I'm totally in love with her.
1079
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:18,760
I'm trying to pluck up the courage
to ask her to marry me,
1080
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:21,520
and I go for the last line...
1081
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:23,200
# Sorry seems to be the hardest...
1082
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:26,160
And what I forget at this crucial
moment of hitting the high note
1083
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:36,560
Because if you're going
to propose, you want to be
1084
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:38,440
wearing brand-new shoes.
1085
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,360
# Sorry seems to be
the hardest word.
1086
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:44,200
And the next thing, I am on my arse,
and the shoes go from under me.
1087
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,080
And I said, did
the audience see that?
1088
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:47,280
They might have noticed it.
1089
00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:50,640
I scrambled to my feet, and I sort
of try to cover my embarrassment,
1090
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,280
staggered to the wings,
where the first two people I saw
1091
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,880
were Cate and Sting.
1092
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:58,040
Now, Sting and I go
back a little bit.
1093
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,440
We have a little history
of rivalry over the years,
1094
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:02,600
and in front of Cate,
he said, "I thought
1095
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:04,040
it was part of the act."
1096
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:10,280
I said, "Of course it is,
I do it every night!"
1097
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:13,520
And very quickly, you're going back
on tour with the Imposters.
1098
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:14,560
Yep.
1099
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:15,600
Is that this June?
1100
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:16,800
I certainly hope so, yeah!
1101
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:21,520
Fingers crossed!
1102
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,440
And all the UK dates are in June.
1103
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:27,600
Listen, good luck with the tour,
and thank you for that
1104
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:28,640
beautiful performance.
1105
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:29,840
Good luck with the album.
1106
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:30,880
Elvis Costello, everybody!
1107
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:34,920
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.
1108
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:38,040
Right, that is nearly it,
but we just have time for a visit
1109
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:39,240
to the Big Red Chair.
1110
00:46:39,240 --> 00:46:40,280
Hooray!
1111
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:41,320
All right.
1112
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:42,360
Who's there?
1113
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:43,400
Hello.
1114
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:44,920
What's your name?
1115
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:45,960
Augustine.
1116
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:47,000
Augustine, lovely.
1117
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,200
Where are you from, Augustine?
1118
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,360
I'm originally French,
but I grew up in London.
1119
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:51,400
OK.
1120
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:52,840
And what you do here, Augustine?
1121
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:53,880
I'm an advertising creative.
1122
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:54,920
Ooh.
1123
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:59,000
Like things we might have heard of?
1124
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,160
Stuff like Bombay Sapphire
and lots of period ads.
1125
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:03,280
I don't know if you've
seen any of those.
1126
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:04,480
I've seen ads for periods.
1127
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:05,960
I really want one now!
1128
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:07,760
No, they're really selling them.
1129
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:08,800
Good work, Augustine.
1130
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:16,080
Off you go with your story.
1131
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:21,080
So when I was ten, the police came
to my house to arrest my parents...
1132
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:23,440
I love it!
1133
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,200
You can walk!
1134
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:26,880
I like how it starts with so.
1135
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:28,000
So...
1136
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,040
I love that.
1137
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:30,120
That's great.
1138
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:37,640
OK.
1139
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:40,040
Because I'd written a quiz called
"the horny hamster quiz"
1140
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:42,920
and I posted it on my Bebo and also
obviously e-mailed it
1141
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,800
a link to all my mates,
who were also ten years old.
1142
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:48,880
But the problem was the police just
could not believe that an actual
1143
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,040
child had written this quiz,
because it had questions
1144
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:53,200
like, would you lock
a hamster, yes, no, maybe?
1145
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:56,080
If you had to lock a rodent,
would it be a hamster,
1146
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:57,120
a mouse, a gerbil?
1147
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:58,800
Obviously the correct
answer was a hamster.
1148
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:00,960
What do you call a hamster
having an orgasm?
1149
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:02,000
Hamstergasm.
1150
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,880
Honestly I was ten, so my wordplay
was not up to scratch.
1151
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:12,400
And so I was summoned to the living
room, where I saw my mum and two
1152
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:15,040
policemen holding four transcripts
of the quiz, and my very distressed
1153
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:16,720
and also very French
mother were screaming,
1154
00:48:16,720 --> 00:48:24,680
how does she know what an orgasm is!
1155
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,800
And so luckily I quickly confessed
to my crime and neither
1156
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:31,720
of my parents went to jail
for hamster-related
1157
00:48:31,720 --> 00:48:32,760
grooming felonies.
1158
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:33,800
You can walk, Augustine!
1159
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:34,840
Well done you.
1160
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:37,000
Right, that is all we've
got time for tonight.
1161
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,880
If you'd like to have a go
in the Red Chair yourself,
1162
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:42,520
and tell your story,
you can contact us via our website
1163
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:44,680
at this very address.
Please say a huge thank
1164
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:47,080
you to all of my guests tonight,
Elvis Costello, everybody!
1165
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:48,120
CHEERING.
1166
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:49,160
Ricky Gervais!
1167
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:50,200
CHEERING.
1168
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:51,240
Ant and Dec!
1169
00:48:51,240 --> 00:48:52,280
CHEERING.
1170
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:53,320
And Cate Blanchett.
1171
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:56,040
CHEERING.
1172
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:58,120
Join me next week with
singer Emeli Sande,
1173
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:01,280
Kiwi comic Rose Matafeo,
star of the new West Side
1174
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:05,480
Story Rachel Zegler,
Line Of Duty's Vicky McClure
1175
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:06,920
and the great Sir Kenneth Branagh.
1176
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:07,960
I'll see you then.
1177
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:09,000
Good night everybody, bye-bye!
1178
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:15,600
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.