This programme contains some strong language
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Oh!
Oh, hello. Hi.
Hello, everybody. Hi. Nice to see you.
Hello. Hi.
Hello. Good evening, everybody. Welcome to the show.
Lovely to see you all. All in a good mood.
Lots of... There's lots of great TV on, isn't there?
You know, we've just said goodbye to The Traitors,
and now The Apprentice is back.
And I don't know if you're watching this series,
but this time they sent the candidates to Hong Kong.
Oh, what must that be like, going to China,
knowing that any week you could be fired?
LAUGHTER
Who knows? We've got a great line-up for you tonight.
Singing for us later, look over there - it's Jessie Ware!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yes!
She'll be performing her new single, I Could Get Used To This.
But first on my sofa tonight,
for 25 years, this Liverpool comic has made us laugh,
and continues to play to sold-out arenas around the world.
Now his life story has inspired a Hollywood movie,
Is This Thing On?
It's our good friend, Mr John Bishop!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
There he is.
Hello, sir, have you been OK?
This actress has stolen the show in cult classics like Mean Girls,
The Notebook and About Time,
and starred in the Oscar-winning drama Spotlight.
Now she's fighting for survival
in Sam Raimi's grisly comedy Send Help.
It is Rachel McAdams!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yay!
Hello.
Very nice. Lovely to see you.
John, Rachel, Rachel...
And we've got two stars
from the gripping new heist thriller Crime 101.
He's the Aussie megastar of Marvel's Thor,
Rush, and the hit Extraction films,
and she is the Oscar-winning star of Monster's Ball,
Die Another Day and the X-Men films.
Please welcome Chris Hemsworth and Halle Berry!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hey.
Hello. Nice to see you. Welcome to the show.
Hello. Welcome back. Great to see you.
Have a seat. Yay!
Oh, very good. They've greeted each other.
You're all thinking, "We picked a good week."
Welcome, all. Lovely to see you.
So welcome back to Chris and John.
Now, Halle, you were on the show, but not on the sofa.
No. Only over Zoom. Yes. In the bad old days. Not the same thing.
In the bad old days, yes. And it's a first-time welcome to Rachel
in any form. Hello.
Hi. Thank you. It's great to be here. And this is a nice thing.
Chris, you are particularly fond of one of Rachel's films.
My favourite film...
This is a big moment for me. ..is, uh, Wedding Crashers.
Really? I have seen that film countless times.
I'd say more than a hundred.
Really? It's whether it's the... It's the, uh...
LAUGHTER
Sorry, I just need a bit...
If I'm lonely on a press tour, like last night,
I'll switch it on.
If I'm hungover on a Sunday, it's a feel-good movie.
Christmas Eve, the kids, it's family, friends. It's...
I know most of the dialogue in every scene
and inside out. I love it. It's a brilliant film.
Oh, my God, I have to jump in on this
because I told her backstage I wanted to tell this to her.
I share your love of Rachel McAdams. Good. Don't we all? Yes.
But wait.
The Notebook is my...
When I met my new guy, Van,
the first time we got together,
I said, "We have to watch The Notebook.
"Because if I don't have a love like this,
"and if you don't make me feel like her,
"this is not happening." Wow!
And I was like, "And if I'm not saying, 'It ain't over,'
"and if I'm not jumping around you, then this is not going to work."
That is a high fictional bar.
It's my go-to when I want to cry and when I want to feel good,
and when I want to feel like I believe in love.
Like, that's my movie. Oh, my gosh. I would say the same thing too.
I love you in that movie... Thank you! ..so much.
And I've been waiting to tell you that and now I get to tell her!
Yeah! Well, my Rachel McAdams story...
LAUGHTER
I love Mean Girls. Yeah.
Whenever I want to be a bitch, I watch it.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Very good.
And weirdly, Halle Berry,
I'm sure you're going to bond with John because you have... Yes!
You have Liverpudlian roots. Your family are from Liverpool?
Yes. I just told him that backstage. He's like, "I thought that
"was not the conversation we were going to be having."
I know. Can you believe that?
I know! We could in some way be related.
I said to her, it's good because
at least somebody on the couch can understand me tonight.
So who was it? It was your mom? My mom's side of the family.
So, did she sound like John Bishop? No.
LAUGHTER
She left her family, left a little too early.
But that is the origin of my roots.
OK. Have you been to Liverpool? No.
It's not really working, this.
When she said that to me, said, "My mum's from Liverpool,"
I thought, "Oh, my God, we'll find a connection!"
I said, "What part of Liverpool? She went, "Don't know."
That's where we're from. Yeah, but that's a lovely thing.
I'm very proud of that. Yeah. And we're proud to have you. Yes.
Hey, listen, we've got lots to talk about tonight,
but let's start with Chris Hemsworth and Halle Berry,
who bring us Crime 101.
It is in cinemas from the 13th of February.
And to get us in the mood, check this out.
Take a deep breath in.
HE INHALES
And exhale.
HE EXHALES
What do you see?
What do you feel?
Feel this moment.
They wouldn't die for an insurance company.
Get in. There's water in the trunk.
He had jewels, cash and high-value items.
He knows exactly what they're transporting when.
There's no DNA. He's in and out in seconds.
Your guy's untraceable.
I came here to make you a business proposition.
You've worked at the same company for 11 years,
You're a VP when you should be a partner.
Those high-value items your company insures?
I make them disappear.
Start by handing me your phone.
So you're a thief?
Life's too short to drive boring cars, right?
# If you see her with me, she's taken. #
Oh!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
So this is one of those great movies with an ensemble cast
and multiple kind of stories that all come together.
So tell us who you both play and how your stories connect.
Would you like to go first? No, you go.
I play, uh, a high-value jewellery thief.
He's meticulous about how he plans these heists.
He has a very strict code of conduct and how he operates.
And, um, there's a sort of moral ambiguity in the world he exists in,
and he's on, obviously, the wrong side of the law on one hand,
but he's still a good human at heart.
And Mark Ruffalo is in the film as well,
and the three of our stories are basically on a collision course
into a pretty dramatic, climactic finale.
But it's a throwback to the '70s, '80s, '90s heist films
I think we all love, with a contemporary feel.
Yeah. There's complex characters, there's a deep level of emotion,
but it's entertaining and sleek and sexy
and visually pretty stunning. It is absolutely... It's gorgeous.
You are the thief, Mark Ruffalo the detective. So, Halle, who are you?
Yeah, I am a high-value insurance agent
working, you know, with these insurance companies
that appraise high-value assets and, you know, very wealthy people.
And she has worked her whole life...
What Chris, what our characters share in common is
we both grew up with meagre means,
and we both have worked really hard to get where we are.
And my character, of course, as many women, as we age up,
our businesses often age us out
and tell us we're too old and we're no longer value.
And my character decides that she's not going to accept that.
She meets Davis, Chris's character, and she's facing a moral dilemma.
What will she do? Will she stay on the right side of right,
or go to the right side of wrong?
LAUGHTER
And it is interesting because it's the thing
that links all those three characters. All of us.
It's sort of like Sliding Doors. We all intersect with each other
at certain times throughout the movie,
and we find out that we have a lot more in common
than you would think that we would have. Yeah.
And it's interesting, you know,
you've made so many movies over the years,
and I heard you in an interview saying that actually
this is one of your happiest working experiences.
Oh, this was amazing. And you know, when you've done it 30 years,
when you say, "This has been one of my all-time bests,"
that's really saying something.
These guys - Chris, Mark, Bart, Barry, all of them.
I mean, my feet did not hit the ground.
And I say that because you've heard people talk about stories
of all the horror things that have gone wrong in our industry.
Not the case here.
Like, I have never felt more seen, respected, cared for, stood up for,
protected than I did on this movie with all these men.
It was... I hope... We're going to do Crime 103.
LAUGHTER
Chris and I are going to do Crime 103. Yeah.
And look, I knew you probably enjoyed making this movie, Chris,
because you like driving, and there's a lot of driving.
A lot of driving. Yeah. Yeah. And you do it.
I do, yeah. I was very lucky in this film.
I mean, I shot Rush maybe 15 years ago,
Formula 1 film where I did a lot of training then.
I grew up in Australia,
lived in the outback and farms and a lot of paddock bombs,
sort of rusted old cars that we'd demolition derby into each other
and, you know, mostly illegal sort of activity.
Um, but you kind of get comfortable behind the wheel.
And in this film, I just did like a kid in a candy store.
It's like, "I'm going to go top speed, weave in and out of traffic,
"handbrake turn, do this,
"and no-one's going to pull me over and give me a speeding ticket."
But it has this sort of grit and authenticity to it,
and you can't... You can try and do that on green screen,
and it doesn't have the same feel, you know?
Halle, were you jealous? Because... So jealous.
I got to do none of that.
I love stunts, I love to get in there,
and I got to do none of that.
Did you get to do some insurance research? Yeah.
High-risk, high-value insurance. Right. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. PowerPoint presentations.
But actually, but you do love action and stunts and things.
When did you...? Because it's one thing loving...
How do you discover you love it? What was the movie
where you kind of went, "Oh, I'm really good at this"?
Well, I was a gymnast as a kid, so...
And I know you were an ice skater, so that's another thing. Yes.
I had dreams of being like the black Nadia Comaneci,
you know, like that was my dream. So when I did Catwoman,
that was the first time I did all of my own stunts
and I tried to make my Catwoman really like a... Rrr, like a cat.
And so I was into all the... I learned capoeira for that movie,
and I really got into doing all of those stunts myself.
And so that's when my love of...
And I realised that also when a performer
can do all of their own stunts, that frees up the director
to put the camera anywhere and shoot from any angle,
because you don't have to sort of accommodate a double.
You know, you can sort of give them a lot more to work with.
And that's when I realised I would try to lean into
doing all of my own stunts.
But you have to know what you're doing.
I did Doctor Who, um, and...
LAUGHTER
I thought I'd bring it back to the UK, you know what I mean?
APPLAUSE
But I did Doctor Who.
So Doctor Who is like a scientific series over here
where there's a time machine that flies through space.
And the first day, they said, "Your character is going through space
"and it crashes, so you've got to fall on the floor.
They said, "Do you want a mat?" I said, "No, don't worry about it."
So I said... And it just said fall on the floor.
And they said, "Do you want a stunt double?"
I said, "Don't worry about it."
So I literally just threw myself on the floor, bang.
And they went, "OK, let's do it again." I went, "What?"
"You've got to do that about 15 times."
I went, "Fuck off, get him in."
LAUGHTER
And it's interesting, you mentioned Catwoman there,
and Catwoman was one of those films that, you know,
it's no secret, at the time its reception was a little rocky,
but since then it's taken on a life of its own, hasn't it?
It really has. It's been amazing to see that the younger generation,
like, they get the joke!
And it does have a life of...
It's the film that I think out of all my movies,
believe it or not, people walk up to me and they're like, "Rrr!"
LAUGHTER
And I'm like, "OK, Catwoman."
Or, you know, they say, "You're Catwoman!"
So people really... Yeah.
Do you purr back? I do, and I just...
Yeah. Rrr! Oh!
That'd be awesome, to say that's your experience with Halle Berry.
"She purred at me."
HALLE MEOWS
You've had it now.
Rachel, in terms of like, stunts and things,
you do have an adventurous side because what did you...?
You did cycling in Australia or something, didn't you?
Yeah, I did. I thought, "This sounds like a great idea.
"I'll cycle around..." Do you know Magnetic Island? Oh, yeah, yeah.
I know Magnetic Island, yeah. You do... You do? Yeah.
I've been there as well, yeah. Yeah, cos you're a bike guy.
Yeah, I'm a...
Um, yeah. I was, you know, I was travelling.
The first time I backpacked by myself,
I wanted to go to Australia. Little Canadian girl.
I thought, "I'll just go as far as I possibly can."
My parents were like, "Sure, OK."
So I went to Australia. How old were you?
I was 19. Wow. See, that's...
That's big. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Thank you! No, it is.
That's a big thing to go backpacking by yourself to Australia.
Yeah. Big, dumb.
But it was great. It was great.
But, yes, I wound up with, you know,
a random guy from London, uh...
Biking! Biking.
Yeah, that's what we call it in England.
LAUGHTER
Strictly biking.
He had his bike, I had my bike, we stayed to our bikes.
Yes. Um, yes. And... And I was dead weight.
He was so fit, and, um...
And he was trying to be really patient,
but I was hallucinating by the end.
I was praying to God.
There was no civilisation.
There was no people, there were no restaurants...
Chris lives there. Beaches...
Well, not on Magnetic Island.
There's a couple of people there.
The Australian Tourism Board are loving this show.
"Nothing. Nothing!"
There's one guy on a bike.
Looking for Rachel.
Listen, talking about travelling around Australia,
you did this - such a lovely film, Chris.
The film where you're motorcycling round Australia with your dad.
Yeah. Tell us about that journey.
Yeah. So, this was initially part of the Limitless series,
and then it became its own thing,
and so we separated it, and it was an individual episode.
But my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years ago,
and the director came to me and said,
"Look, I know it's a very sensitive subject,"
and, "We have this idea where there's this thing
"called reminiscence therapy, where we basically..."
The hippocampus, the part of the brain
that Alzheimer's dementia is attacking,
you stimulate via old memories
and reignite neural pathways and so on, potentially.
And it's somewhat experimental, but they're getting, you know,
there's a lot of positive results. Yeah.
And so we had this idea about going back to the family home
we lived in and doing a road trip up to Northern Territory.
We lived in an Aboriginal community
four and a half hours outside of Katherine in Arnhem Land,
where he was a bull-catcher.
This is 30-something years ago.
So we were going to do this motorbike road trip
and I was very apprehensive about it.
I didn't want to sort of exploit anything he was going through
for the sake of sort of drama
and entertainment and so on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But he's a man of deep integrity and humility,
and I said to him, "Look, do you have any interest?"
And he said, "Oh, yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun,
"and look, maybe, you know,
"me sharing my story might help someone else."
And so we embarked on this road trip.
And we started in Melbourne, where we lived.
And a friend of ours bought the house we lived in 30-something,
40... Well, when I was born, in Melbourne,
lived in the house when I was probably six till 18.
So 20-something years ago he bought the house.
And he had a series of photographs
that he had taken of the house when he bought it,
and so the art department said to him, "Can we have those photos?"
And they redressed the entire house... This is amazing.
..according to those photographs.
And then we went to the house and walked in,
and it was like stepping back in time. Oh, my gosh.
I mean, it was just... Yeah, it gives you chills, doesn't it? Yeah.
It was remarkable.
And I... It was this overwhelming nostalgia,
this ginormous reminder of the passage of time.
Emotional because of the memories we had there,
and now the memories we weren't going to have,
or the memories that were potentially disappearing.
And my dad walked in and he's like, I said...
I'm trying to, you know,
there's cameras on us and, "What do you think?"
And he goes, "Oh, it's great. It's great."
I said, "How do you feel?"
He goes, "I don't know about all the theatrics, mate, you know?
"All the cameras and stuff."
I said, "Yeah, we're doing a documentary," and he goes...
Anyway, and he kept saying, "Where's your mum?
"She'd love this." And I said, "Well, she's not in the episode."
Then he goes, "Oh, OK."
And then a minute later he's like,
"Where's your mum? What's she doing?"
And I said, "Well, Dad, she's not... She's here but she's not...
"It's just us." And he kept asking and it was so beautiful,
he wanted to share it with her, and then eventually they were like,
"Just bring her up."
And so she came into the house.
For her, it really hit home, because it was a real reminder of
the sort of memories we'd had and what we're missing.
And then you saw him relax, you know,
that was his sort of anchor in... Yeah. ..as things
are sort of being taken away and disappearing.
And it was quite beautiful and profound and heartbreaking.
And I've had people say to me who've seen the episode
who are suffering with dementia or Alzheimer's say,
"I wish my kids could see this or my family members,"
because people dance around the issue.
No-one comes and says, "What are you afraid of?
"How are you feeling?"
Because they... It's too hard to confront,
so they suffer in silence.
And so I was asking questions to my father and, yes, on camera,
but the questions I probably wouldn't have
been brave enough to ask and those things,
and how is he feeling? And it was...
I asked him in the doc, I said, you know,
"What are you afraid of?"
And he said, "I just don't want to be a burden, you know?"
And it said so much to me about him,
and not that I could have any more respect for my father,
but the fact that his main concern
was not being a burden to those around him,
more so than "I'm losing my memories and my time is expiring..." Yeah.
..was beautiful. But the episode became about connection
and about love and family and what's important,
which is this shared moment. And also, there's that lovely thing
of sharing memories. Yeah, it's about sharing memories...
And in the midst of all of that,
there's a very sweet but funny moment where
you and your mum and dad are in that original house
and you are watching... presumably this is the first film
you ever made. Yeah.
Yeah, it should have been the first and last film I ever made.
LAUGHTER
It was...
We created this ridiculous sort of parody
of Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter.
Well, we've got that clip. I know... LAUGHTER
This is the clip of the family watching,
so please enjoy Chris Hemsworth's first-ever film performance
in "Crocidile Hunter".
Can we see it? Yeah, you can pop it on.
The Crocodile Hunter!
# Doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo... #
Ooh! You almost spelt "crocodile" correct.
How are you going, folks?
We've got a real bloody river in store for you today.
Oh, this is... This is gold.
We're going to be chasing the Siberian Tiger Australian Fox.
It's gonna be bloody unreal.
Let's go have a look and see.
LAUGHTER
Now, I've got myself a little something...
That was my hat! Your riding hat.
WHISPERS: Come here. Have a look, see.
That's what I'm talking about. Deadly as!
He's digging a hole.
Remember, when he's not looking...
Over here, over here, over here.
I've got him.
The dog wasn't hurt in the making of this film.
You get him in the full nelson like so
and you've got to get him...
Look at the dog!
CHRIS LAUGHS
Next week we'll be chasing the Australian grasshopper.
Can't wait. See yous then.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Thank you. Well, that was your first film. For sure.
Everyone can enjoy your latest film.
Chris Hemsworth and Halle Berry in Crime 101
from the 13th of February.
Very good. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Those shorts. Tight pair of shorts.
Oh, my gosh. Tight pair of shorts.
There's something very Australian about that.
Yeah. Yeah, they were a tight pair of shorts, that's for sure.
Next up, Rachel McAdams
brings us a brilliant movie from Evil Dead director Sam Raimi.
It's called Send Help.
It opens in cinemas on the 5th of February.
So, Rachel, you play Linda Liddle. She's fantastic.
Tell us about Linda Liddle. Who is she?
What's she up to?
Well, Linda is a real worker bee.
She's been at her company for seven years,
and she can do everybody's job with her eyes closed,
and she's in line for a big promotion.
She's very excited. She's going to use the money to get
a bigger apartment and go travelling.
And then she gets passed over for the douchebag...
..friend of the boss who's been there for six months...
Ohh. ..and it really grinds her gears.
It would.
And she's just about had enough, you know?
Yeah. Yeah.
I'd rather say eats her ass whole. LAUGHTER
Yes. OK. Grind her gears is...
It's not pissed off enough. It's not enough.
Sorry, once again, eats her asshole? Eats her ass whole.
OK. It does. It really eats her ass whole.
Like that? Yes, like that. Good job. Thank you.
I'll work on it.
But tell us more, because then a big thing happens.
We're allowed to know the big thing, aren't we?
Oh, the rest. The rest? Well, the send help bit. Right.
Um...
So... You remember what happens, right?
I don't know how long ago you filmed this, Rachel.
It was, like, six months ago.
Um... After you lost your arsehole.
Yes. Yes, so she gets invited to prove herself once again
on the company trip to Bangkok.
Her new boss invites her to solve a problem there
and they get on the plane and...
..the plane goes down.
That's a spoiler, though.
No, it's all over the ads. No, it's really not.
It's called Send Help. Right.
SHE MOUTHS
I think the audience will be disappointed
if they don't know that. They'll be like...
"Why does she need help? I don't under..."
The boiler's broke!
Yes, yes. Yeah. And then she winds up
washing up on a Thailand beach and...
And she thrives. And she thrives.
Yeah, she does very well because she's a fan of Survivor.
She's a big fan of Survivor and she spends a lot of her time,
her spare time... She's auditioned for Survivor countless times.
Never been chosen.
Wow.
I know. Now's her moment. It's more asshole eating. Yes.
LAUGHTER
I must say, I've never heard this expression before.
I've coined... I've made this up.
Oh! Everybody in my life has heard this.
Halle, Halle, she's got Scouse DNA.
You know what I mean?
I can find it. I can find the swearing.
I can get to it. Eat your arse whole! I can't wait.
There's some people out there going, "Yeah, great."
It's going to take off. Let's do it. It's going to take off.
Listen, our clip is you and your boss,
played by Dylan O'Brien, and it's you coming to terms
with your new situation on the island.
You can't put that kind of weight on that yet.
You don't tell me what to do. How about that?
HE GROANS
You know what? You think you're so smart?
Well, guess who you're talking to.
CEO of a Next-Gen 500 company, baby.
SHE LAUGHS
That's right.
A company your father built, God rest his soul.
THEY LAUGH
Oh, wow. Oh, wow. You know what?
You're so done.
Huh? Yeah. You're so fired. Oh, am I?
Yeah. Oh, no.
Where are you going? Wherever the...I want to go!
I'm making my own camp.
Oh. Not so hard.
Just need some leaves and some...
..sticks.
LINDA LAUGHS
I've seen you do it enough.
Well, I wish you luck.
And I'll tell you where to send my last cheque.
Second coconut tree on the left.
Obviously, you weren't stranded on a desert island in real life,
but, as Rachel McAdams, you did face a lot of hardship.
I feel there was a lot of fluid in this film for you. Mm-hm.
Yeah, I mean, there's obviously water, sea, all of that. Yeah.
But there's more. There's...
Yes. Yeah. A lot of blood. A lot of blood.
Yeah, which I knew. I knew that when I read it.
I mean, I knew there was some blood. I didn't know quite how much...
The Sam Raimi level of blood. ..there would be.
The Sam Raimi level of blood.
There's really no... Yeah. There you are. There it is.
Oh! That is Sam Raimi.
Like, he's very hands-on with the blood.
Oh, he insists it has to be him. No-one else could do it.
And he'll sit there for, like, an hour before we actually shoot it
and practise.
Not actually throwing blood,
but, like, he's getting ready... Oh, right. ..to do it.
The wrist action. Yes. This is a clip.
Just clip that up. Clip that up and put it on the internet.
Everyone'll watch this show. "He's just getting ready."
LAUGHTER
I'm just walking into all of it tonight. Oh, my God.
Yes, but he... No, he's a real team player.
We all saw it. We all saw it.
I mean, this is... Cos when you put that picture up,
this shows what acting really is.
Can we see that picture again?
Look, there's all these people around you.
There's a false head of a boar - do you know what I mean? -
being held by a runner somewhere.
He's throwing stuff at you
and, you know, you've trained for this.
I did.
I did, I chose this life.
It's not easy. And here's the thing, Rachel, huge acting career,
but as Halle mentioned earlier, originally sports,
that was your thing.
I was Sporty Spice, yes. Yeah. Yeah, I loved sports.
What did you do? Ice skating, you were very good at.
I was OK, I was OK. I... Yeah. Is this figure skating?
Yes. Oh, there you are.
There I am with my little medal around my neck. Yeah.
See, that's how good you are. You won a medal.
You won a medal! I recently threw away all my medals,
all my badges. No! All my...
Literally three days ago, I... Why? By mistake?
No. What?
I'm trying to Marie Kondo my life.
You know, I'm like, my mom was like,
"Well, what if your children...?"
I was like, "What are they going to do with my skating tests, you know?"
No? But the Rachel McAdams Museum!
What will they put in the Rachel McAdams Museum?
I know!
This is therapy. The exhibits will be empty.
This should have all her skating medals!
LAUGHTER
I'll go dig them out. You've got a photograph there from 1954.
You're my new best friend.
But... And did you just put them in the garbage?
Yes, and it did pain me, but I thanked them and...
Let them go. ..let them go. Wow. OK.
Yeah. I've been studying Buddhism. Yeah.
In terms of winning things, Halle Berry, wow.
No, this is amazing. Oh, no. This is amazing.
OK, I'm going to do this. So I think I knew that you'd been a, you know,
a teenage pageant kind of beauty queen,
but I had no idea the amount you won.
I mean, they were serious prizes. It was insane.
I know, I got good stuff. You really did.
I was in it for the loot. Yeah, because how old were you?
You were 16, 17 when you were doing...? I was 17, yes.
So it was Miss Teenage...? Yeah, it was Miss Teen.
I didn't really aspire to be a beauty pageant queen.
It was my boyfriend at the time
who really wanted a girlfriend who was a beauty queen.
So he took my high school picture and entered it into
the Miss Teen Ohio competition.
And I remember one day I just got a letter in the mail and it says,
"You are a finalist in the Miss Teen Ohio."
And I was like, "What?" And I had no idea how it happened
and then he told me the story.
So I showed up at that contest,
I put on my prom dress and I showed up,
and I really, literally could care less.
I was just there because he wanted me to do this,
and I ended up winning the damn thing.
And I was like, "Oh, my God." But what I didn't know is
when you win one, then you have to be...
I was now Miss Teen Ohio. I had to go to Miss Teen America.
Like, I didn't know I had to keep going.
Yeah. And I went to Miss Teen America and I won there.
Did you? Then I had to go to Miss Ohio. Then I won there.
Then I had to go to Miss USA. Like, it kept going and going and going
until I finally lost.
But along the way, tell us some of the stuff you won.
Oh, my God, I won a car.
RACHEL GASPS
Yeah, a Chrysler LeBaron. At the time, that was...
Convertible, was it? Convertible? Yes, convertible.
White, convertible. It was amazing. Wow. A fur coat.
Like, $10,000. That was like, $10,000?!
I had $10,000, like, tax-free money? Wow.
Jewellery, diamonds, clothes, a wardrobe.
Yeah. So, what happened to the pimp - sorry, the boyfriend -
that put you in?
You know what? He went to jail three times.
The third one, that was a breaker.
"No, I can't now." He went to jail. Three times.
We broke up and he ended up in prison three times.
Rachel, just getting back to Send Help,
you have form playing the antihero,
because Regina George in John's favourite film, Mean Girls...
CHEERING
I mean... Yes, sister.
Is it true that you didn't understand how much
people would hate Regina George?
Yeah. Yes, I did... Well, yes.
I didn't know. I didn't... I didn't know.
I didn't know how it would hit.
I didn't know, like, you know...
Yes, how hated she would be for how long.
But what was, like...?
So the first time you saw a screening with an audience,
was that when it dawned on you? Yes, yes.
Everyone except for my best friend, who was beside me.
So when I got hit by the bus,
everyone cheered and she went, "No!"
LAUGHTER
And I was, like, yanking her down. I was like, "I'm right here.
"I'm alive. We're good."
And she was crying...
But she was the only one who was upset about me getting
hit by a bus. She saw a very different film.
Yes. Well, everyone's going to love Rachel McAdams in Send Help.
You can see it in cinemas from next Thursday.
That's when that's out. Yeah.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Now...
John Bishop, I love this.
John Bishop is in a Hollywood movie.
Well, his story is - Is This Thing On?
It's out today.
It's directed by Bradley Cooper,
stars Will Arnett and Laura Dern,
and they've been on the show talking about it.
So I suppose the main thing is, how the hell did this happen, John?
And what does it feel like?
I'm massive in Hollywood.
No, it's really, really weird, really strange,
because I met Will Arnett eight years ago
on a barge in Amsterdam, which is the start of all good stories.
But I met him... I met him through a mutual friend,
Christopher Hughes, who's, you know,
who's a film producer.
And he said, "Tell Will your story of how you got into comedy."
So I told him and Will went, "That's a great story.
"I'd love to try and write it as a script
"with my writing partner, Mark Chappell."
So I said, "Great, you start writing it,
"but I, you know, I want to chip in.
"I want to be part of the writing process."
So they would write a script and send it to me,
and then I'd send some notes
and I'd write some bits and send it back,
and then they'd send me the new version with none of my bits in.
And I thought, "They haven't got the email."
I'd send it back
and then they'd still come back without my bit.
And I went, "Are my bits shit, boys?"
And he... And the truth was, it was too close to me, you know,
the story of how I got into comedy,
the reality of it was too close.
So I had to step away and allow them to write it,
and I'm so glad I did.
There was a big portion of trust involved in that,
but the end result is brilliant.
And obviously you spoke to, you know,
the writers and everything and told them the story.
But Melanie, she spoke to, was it...
Laura. ..Laura Dern, who plays her in the movie? Yeah.
So Laura Dern got cast and then through a mutual friend,
Laura reached out and said to Melanie, "Can I meet you?"
So Melanie went and sat with Laura
and just downloaded her side of the story and what went on.
So Laura's character,
honest to God, reflects Melanie so, so much.
And there's one particular scene where, which was true,
we got a note, you know you sometimes get from kids
where they go, "There's head lice in the school.
"Can you check each other?"
And we weren't living together, so she had to come to my house,
and we had to check each other for head lice, which is such an...
So romantic. ..intimate thing. I know, yeah.
And it's such an intimate thing to do, though,
when you're not living together.
Do you know what I mean? And so she told Laura that,
and then Bradley put it straight into the film. Oh, wow.
Wow. And that's the clip we've got.
This is Laura and Will with nits.
I think I might have lice.
Hmm. And... Are you seeing it jump off me?
Why are you...? Let's get you in the chair.
I think that's what we got to do.
Yeah, one's just crawling in between your teeth.
Mum's pregnant. You are so pregnant. What?
You hooked up with a bug. All right, guys, enough.
Guys! But, Dad, that's how you said you get lice.
Oh, is that how you said it? No, it was a joke,
because the video said we're looking for baby eggs. All right?
It was a joke. Did you hook up with a bug?
No. Well, you've got lice, so... Yeah, you did.
You hooked up with a bug! You promised not to tell them.
You hooked up with a bug! All right, you know what?
You guys need to rehearse. Let's go. OK. Let's go.
Get busy. I already know it. Keep the volume down, too.
Turn the volume up? Keep the volume up? OK.
No, not up. Keep the volume down. Dad, do you know where
the loudspeaker is? I'm serious about the volume.
So you're really not seeing anything?
There's no little bites? I don't think so.
To be honest, just looking at it now,
it's making me itch. I know. I think I must have it. Would you check me?
Sure.
Oh! Well done, man.
APPLAUSE
And...
..it is, I think, for a British audience watching this,
it'll seem quite far away from your life
because it's set in America now,
Will Arnett is playing you, but those big scenes in it are real.
Like, Melanie... Yeah. ..she did accidentally see you doing stand-up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the big...
So for people who don't know,
I fell into stand-up because we split up,
me and my wife, and I was a month away from being 34.
And the only reason
I went into stand-up is I was, one Monday night...
I used to have the kids every weekend,
so Monday I used to be on a downer,
and I was walking past a comedy club
in Manchester called The Frog And Bucket,
which I'm sure you're very familiar with...
Oh, I know it well.
LAUGHTER
Been there many times.
And I was... I'd been to two comedy clubs in my whole life.
I had no interest in stand-up comedy at all.
And anyway, I thought, "I'll go in,"
because comedy is great and anyone who's ever on their own,
just go to a comedy club. You sit in a room full of strangers,
but everyone laughs at the same time.
So I thought, "I'll go in there and it will cheer me up."
And I used to do this joke,
which is not the best joke in the world,
and I've said this story before,
but it's the only story that's the truth is,
I used to do this joke
to let all the ladies in the room know I was a single man.
I used to say, "I'm really sad at the moment,
"ladies and gentlemen, because me and my wife are not together."
AUDIENCE: Ahh. It's not that sad, honestly.
We're not divorced or anything.
I've just killed her.
LAUGHTER
But I knew I was going to miss her, so I've kept her head in the fridge.
Terrible joke. Terrible.
Oh, no. And I got announced onstage this Thursday
and I said this joke onstage, and as I said it,
I looked to the left and the head
that was meant to be in the fridge was in the audience.
No! So this is a true story.
So she was in the audience and what had happened,
we'd been apart almost two years at this point.
And when you're apart, you live parallel lives
so you don't really know what's going on in each other's lives.
You deal with the logistics of children.
She had a new job.
The people she was working with were going out for a birthday do.
Someone said, "Let's go to a comedy club."
She didn't know I did stand-up comedy.
The people she was with didn't even know my name.
So when I get announced on,
they don't understand why she goes, "What the fuck?"
And then I go onstage in front of a room full of strangers
and tell them I've killed her and kept her head in the fridge.
Oh, no. So that twist is in the film
where they get back together, and what happened with us is that...
I remember, we were literally going through
the final stages of the divorce.
I remember seeing Mel and thinking,
"God, that's going to cost me another ten grand."
And then she came over
and we started talking and it was lovely.
We discovered each other again. She said, "That was a surprise."
I said, "Look, I'm really sorry about the whole head thing."
She said, "No," she said, "The surprise was you were funny.
"You made me laugh."
LAUGHTER
Why weren't you doing that earlier? I know.
She said, "You made me laugh."
She said, "You reminded me of the man that I first met." Ohh.
She said, "Whatever happened to you?"
I said, "I married you!"
So she said, "Well, do you think we could do something?"
So we ended up... Like in the film,
they end up dating each other secretly
and then we ended up going to Relate
and then we ended up getting back together.
So now we've been married for 33 years.
Wow. Amazing.
You can see why they wanted to make it into a film.
It's a lovely story and a lovely film. Yeah.
Listen, we must very quickly mention stand-up
is still very much a part of your life.
Your new comedy tour,
Let's Go Round Again,
tickets go on sale today... Oh, wow.
..but you won't be seeing it until 2027.
I know. Well, to be honest with you, I didn't want to launch it,
but I'm doing all of this press and I'm thinking if I don't...
I can't come back in two months, can I?
So we were planning to do it anyway.
Stand-up is what I do. That's my job.
You know, if you're an actor, it's what you do. Yeah.
So I just booked it in.
I haven't written a joke yet, but I've booked it in.
It looks very good. Very good. Oh, it looks so funny.
LAUGHTER
Well, that's the tour.
Just a reminder - Is This Thing On, that is in cinemas now.
Very good.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Right, it's time for music.
This Mercury and Brit Award-nominated
singer-songwriter is back with a new pop anthem.
Here performing her brand-new single,
I Could Get Used To This, it is Jessie Ware!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah
# Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
# This is what I know
# Step into my secret garden
# It's not impossible to bloom and grow
# Because everyone deserves their flowers
# I'll only do it if I want it
# Got you hot under the collar
# Red light burning up my aura
# Pleasures just around the corner
# I, I could get used to this
# Tonight, I'll satisfy my every motive
# I, I could get used to this
# Cos you're the one I wanna be alone with
# I'll let you know when it feels right
# Let me show you what feels nice
# Let's stay here for infinity
# Pablo silhouette, Venus energy
# I, I could get used to this
# Yeah, I could get used to this
# Don't you think it's about that time
# To take a moment and seek delight?
# Baby, tell me what's on your mind, what you need
# Don't have to whisper our fantasies
# Baby, ask and you shall receive
# You just have to ask nicely, please
# I'll only do it if I want it
# Got you hot under the collar
# Red light burning up my aura
# Pleasure's just around the corner
# I, I could get used to this
# Tonight, I'll satisfy my every motive
# I, I could get used to this
# Cos you're the one I wanna be alone with
# I'll let you know when it feels right
# Let me show you what feels nice
# Let's stay here for infinity
# Pablo silhouette, Venus energy
# Ahhh
# I could get used to this
# Yeah, I could get used to this
# I could get used to
# Ohh
# Yeah, I could get used to
# I, I, I
# I could get used to this
# Yeah, I could get used to
# Ohh
# I'll only do it if I wanna
# Heaven's just around the corner
# I got you hot under the collar
# And I'm burning, burning, burning tonight
# I, I could get used to this
# Tonight, I'll satisfy my every motive
# I, I could get used to this
# Cos you're the one I wanna be alone with
# I'll let you know when it feels right
# Let me show you what feels nice
# Let's stay here for infinity
# Pablo silhouette, Venus energy
# I, I could get used to this
# Yeah, I could get used to this
# I could get used to
# Come on, baby
# Yeah, I could get used to this
# I, I, I
# I could get used to this
# I could get used to
# Ooooh. #
Whoa! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Jessie Ware, everybody!
Beautiful.
Her backing vocalists, her dancers.
Come on over, Jessie, do.
She wafts, wafts across the studio.
Don't run, don't run!
Oh, my God, look at me. I can't run.
Hi. Lovely to see you. How are you?
Jessie, this is John. Hi, nice to meet you.
Rachel, Halle, Chris. Hi, nice to meet you.
That is Jessie Ware right there. You look lovely.
Hi, Halle. Ooh, mind the glasses, glasses. Sorry!
Oh, God, there's a lot of... Oh, Jesus. Oh, my God. Hi.
Uh! Oh, my God, I'm sorry. Sorry.
Oh, Jesus. I'm sorry! I'll need a new carpet. You're good.
You're wearing a kitten.
LAUGHTER
It's like a blanket, watching telly. Oh, lovely.
That is... You look lovely. Does that look good?
Let's be honest. Yeah. How far does it go?
Why have I still got the microphone? I don't need the microphone.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Oh, that's lovely.
Christmas. Christmas.
"Give me my dress back."
Jessie Ware, thank you very much for your big dress
and for that lovely performance.
Now, that song - this is exciting - it's off your next album... Yeah.
..Superbloom. Yes. Hence the flower.
Which you just announced this very day. Yes. Well done.
Thank you, thank you.
CHEERING
It will be out on April the 10th.
There is the beauteous...
There is the beauteous thing, Superbloom. Yeah.
It's all part of one thing.
Now, a new album. Yeah.
There's some special cameos on here, I know.
Yes. Tell us who.
Well, just one, because, I don't know,
the only feature on the record is Colman Domingo, being...
Hello. He's fabulous.
Hello. Yeah. Who is fabulous.
He's being, like, the voice of God in the introduction to a song.
And how did you bag Colman Domingo?
OK, so I have this thing, and this is how we're friends. Yeah.
That's a bit inappropriate, sorry. No, it's fine.
This is how WE'RE friends. You have my approval.
Now...
LAUGHTER
This is how I make friends, so watch out, guys.
I have a podcast that I do with my mum, Lennie... Yeah.
..who, actually, tonight is just being
a very supportive mum somewhere. She's somewhere.
Where's Lennie? Hi, Mum.
Oh, there she is. Hello. Hi, Lennie.
Yeah, I've met your mum before. Yeah.
So we do this podcast, Table Manners,
and Colman came on and we made friends and I...
Yeah, I make friends, like John came on.
You've been on with John, right? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great.
You sit there, you have dinner.
You talk to Jessie and her mum. It's brilliant.
So, Lennie and Jessie, you cook,
but do you get to choose what you eat, John?
Or is it just whatever they make? Yeah, well, I'm vegetarian,
which was a challenge, let's be honest.
I think you got, like, you got some delicious nuts, didn't you?
Yeah, yeah. No, you got more than that.
No, we cater for everyone.
And Colman was on it and he was amazing,
and we became friends.
And he's just a gorgeous human being.
Also, I love your mum on it,
because she's so unimpressed by the celebrities that you have on.
She says, like, she goes, "Not another actor, darling.
"Not another actor." And they all love her.
Obviously, she'll say things like...
You're all welcome, don't worry.
We'll be going on that show. Season 19.
Season 19, guys, don't worry about it.
And do you get a lot of kind of recognition from it?
Like do people kind of recognise you as Jessie Ware...?
Yeah, it's funny, this one, Graham.
This happened, I was at my friend Dev Hynes' gig,
Blood Orange. I was there, it was a very muso crowd.
We were at Ally Pally. I'm there to support my mate,
head nodding, you know, I think, "These are my people."
And this girl comes up to me
and she goes, "Excuse me, do you do that podcast?"
And I was like, "Yeah." She went, "Are you Lennie Ware?"
And I went, "Oh, for God's...
"No, I'm critically acclaimed, five albums in, lady!"
No, I kind of love it.
No, I'm not 7...
I'm not saying your age. Sorry, Mum. No, I'm not my mother.
She looks amazing.
She's fabulous. But no, it's brilliant.
It's humbling. Yeah.
Well, listen, thank you very much for that performance
and we can't wait to hear the rest of the album. Thank you.
Jessie Ware, everybody!
Thank you, cheers. Thank you.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
That is it for tonight.
No time for the red chair as we're running late,
so please say thank you to the rest of my guests.
John Bishop!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Rachel McAdams!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Halle Berry! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
And Chris Hemsworth!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Join me next week with Brits Critics' Choice winner Jacob Alon,
superstar director Ryan Coogler,
Oscar nominee Amanda Seyfried,
and the stars of Wuthering Heights, Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie.
I'll see you then. Goodnight, everybody. Bye-bye!