1 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,247 - I LOVE YOU, KAREN... AND I'M GONNA SPEND 2 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,782 THE REST OF MY LIFE ANNOYING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. 3 00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:17,351 - [giggles] - WILL YOU MARRY ME, KAREN? 4 00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:19,053 - YOU GUYS ARE OFFICIALLY BACK TOGETHER? 5 00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,621 - FOR NOW. UNTIL WE FUCK IT UP. 6 00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:21,555 - COULD BE ANY SECOND NOW. 7 00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:23,724 - YOU GONNA SHIT CAN 15 YEARS EXPERIENCE 8 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:26,394 'CAUSE A GUY MESSES UP ONE TIME? 9 00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:27,461 [moaning] 10 00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:28,529 AAH! 11 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,098 - YOU GOT FIRED? 12 00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,332 - CHARLIE RUNKLE. - DAISY. 13 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,766 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET A FRIGGING MEETING 14 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:33,967 WITH RONNY PRAEGER. 15 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:37,105 HE'S LIKE THE SPIELBERG OF PORN. - I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO. 16 00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,472 - THAT IS SO AWESOME! 17 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,241 AND DON'T WORRY. I WILL BLOW YOU. 18 00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:42,076 - NO, WE'RE GONNA KEEP THIS STRICTLY BUSINESS. 19 00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:44,212 I'M KING OF FUCK MOUNTAIN! 20 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:45,613 - IT'S NOT A MEMOIR. 21 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:46,780 - IT'S A WRITTEN ACCOUNT 22 00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:48,249 OF MY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. 23 00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:50,318 - WRITTEN BY ME AS A FUCKING NOVEL. 24 00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:52,353 - LEW ASHBY. - HANK MOODY. 25 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,487 I GOT THIS BOOK DEAL. 26 00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:56,324 WANNA WRITE ABOUT WHY EVERYTHING I TOUCH TURNS TO GOLD. 27 00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:57,725 - AAH! - [chuckling] 28 00:00:57,758 --> 00:01:01,295 - OH, NO! YOU DIDN'T! 29 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:04,565 LEW! 30 00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,100 WHERE YOU HEADED? 31 00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:07,135 - I'M TAKING FUCKING AND PUNCHING 32 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,536 ALL OVER THIS FAIR COUNTRY OF OURS. 33 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:13,274 - MOTHERS, LOCK UP YOUR SONS. - AND HUSBANDS. 34 00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:15,309 - WE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE. - NO. 35 00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:17,111 - I JUMPED IN THE CAR WITH YOU THAT NIGHT, 36 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:19,647 AND WE JUST TRIED TO PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF. 37 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,382 - I CAN'T STAY. 38 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,252 - IT'S OKAY, DAD. IT WAS NICE WHILE IT LASTED. 39 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:27,421 - I WANNA GET A DIVORCE. I'M GONNA BE WITH DAISY. 40 00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:29,690 - YOU FUCKED MY MAN. - AAH! 41 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,792 [glass shatters, screaming] 42 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:34,862 - MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE A BREAK. - I JUST LEFT MY WIFE FOR YOU! 43 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,430 - YOU SAID I COULD HAVE EVERYTHING. 44 00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:38,432 BUT DON'T WORRY YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEAD ABOUT IT. 45 00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,134 WE'LL LET MY LAWYER FIGURE IT OUT. 46 00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:42,803 HE'S REALLY GOOD. LATER, RUNKLE. 47 00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:43,804 [door clicks] 48 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,673 - THAT'S HIM. - HIM WHO? 49 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,875 - WHAT DO YOU WANT? - I'M HERE TO SEE BECCA MOODY. 50 00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:50,144 - I GOT A JOB. IT'S IN NEW YORK. 51 00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:53,281 I THINK YOU SHOULD COME. I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THIS. 52 00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,583 I FEEL KIND OF BAD SPLITTING THEM UP RIGHT NOW. 53 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,419 - WELL, THEN DON'T. YOU GO, I STAY. 54 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,254 AT THE END OF THE DAY, IT'S ALL ABOUT HER. 55 00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:01,889 - I WISH YOU HADN'T JUST SAID ALL THAT. 56 00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,491 - WHY? 57 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,626 - 'CAUSE IT JUST MAKES ME LOVE YOU EVEN MORE. 58 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:19,473 [woman moaning, panting] 59 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:22,610 - [snoring] 60 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:23,877 - HANK? 61 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,446 - MM. 62 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,448 - HANK. 63 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,450 - [stammers] - HANK. 64 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,486 - YEP. PRESENT. 65 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,822 - DID YOU JUST... - NO. 66 00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,290 - YOU DID! - NOT ME. 67 00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:38,226 I DID NOT. - HANK... 68 00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:40,661 - [groans] 69 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,230 WELL, MAYBE FOR A SECOND. 70 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,598 - JESUS CHRIST! - NO, DON'T BE CROSS. 71 00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,800 - YOU FELL ASLEEP. - I DOZED. 72 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,536 BARELY. - INSIDE OF ME. 73 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:49,670 - MAYBE. FOR A SECOND. 74 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,606 NOW, IT DOES NOT REFLECT POORLY ON YOU. 75 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,743 OR YOUR VAGINA. IT'S A LOVELY VAGINA. 76 00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:58,679 IT'S WARM AND COZY... INVITING, 77 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,814 CAPACIOUS, YET ACCOMMODATING. 78 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,317 IT'S CHEEKY BUT NOT IMPUDENT, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 79 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:05,419 IT'S A LOVELY PLACE TO CURL UP INSIDE. 80 00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:07,555 - AND GO TO SLEEP. 81 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:08,989 GREAT. GOD, WHERE'S MY FUCKING CLOTHES? 82 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,558 - N-NOT SO FAST. 83 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:11,725 LOOK, I MAY BE TIRED, 84 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:14,262 BUT I'M ALSO INCREDIBLY HARD RIGHT NOW. 85 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:16,397 [grunts] YOU FEEL THAT? 86 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,632 [hoarsely] I JUST FLEXED MY COCK MUSCLE. 87 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:19,967 THAT'S PRETTY COOL, HUH? 88 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,936 FLEXING IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. 89 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,973 WHERE'S THE HARM IN A FEW WINKS? 90 00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:29,410 YOU KNOW, SINGLE DADNESS IS NOT AS EASY AS IT LOOKS. 91 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,745 I GOTTA BE UP WAY EARLY TO MAKE THE MORNING MEAL 92 00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,647 AND GET THE KID TO SCHOOL. 93 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:36,317 THEN I GOTTA COME HOME AND WRESTLE WITH THE BLANK PAGE. 94 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:37,785 YOU KNOW, AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, 95 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,453 IT'S TIME TO GET BACK IN THAT FUCKING PICKUP LINE 96 00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:40,654 ALL OVER AGAIN. 97 00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:43,657 - EVER HEAR OF CARPOOLING? - AND THEN I GOTTA--I GOTTA-- 98 00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:46,560 I GOTTA MAKE SOME KIND OF VAGUELY HEALTHY EVENING MEAL. 99 00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:49,330 I GOTTA MONITOR HER COMPUTER AND TEXTING ACTIVITY. 100 00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:50,698 IT'S FUCKING EXHAUSTING. 101 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:53,867 I MEAN, I BARELY EVEN HAVE TIME TO GET LOADED ANYMORE. 102 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,370 [door thuds closed] 103 00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,540 - EXCUSE ME. 104 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,844 - WAS THAT... - NO, YOU'RE WRONG. 105 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,346 - BUT... - YOU'RE WRONG. 106 00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,614 MOVE ON. 107 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:11,352 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALL ABOUT KEEPING YOURSELF PURE FOR MOM. 108 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:14,288 - SHE'S A FRIEND, YOU KNOW. WE WERE DOING FRIEND-LIKE STUFF. 109 00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:16,290 PRACTICALLY NAPPING. 110 00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:19,327 - HEY...GOOD FOR YOU. 111 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,761 I'M NOT JUDGING. 112 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:24,698 MOM'S CERTAINLY NOT KEEPING HERSELF PURE FOR YOU. 113 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:28,436 - WHAT? - NOTHING. MOVE ON. 114 00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,804 - WHAT ARE YOU GUYS EVEN DOING HERE ANYWAY? 115 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:32,373 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE MOVIES. 116 00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:34,842 - WE WALKED OUT. - IT WAS SO FUCKING LAME, HANK. 117 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,744 - HANK? 118 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:40,314 REALLY? UH-UH, IT'S MR. MOODY TO YOU, LITTLE MISSY. 119 00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:42,750 - MR. MOODY. 120 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:47,488 [crunching] 121 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:54,362 - WAIT A SECOND. YOU GUYS ARE STONED! 122 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,162 - DAD...PLEASE. 123 00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:56,830 - TELL ME WHERE YOU GOT THE WEED. 124 00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:59,333 I WILL KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER. TELL ME. 125 00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:03,103 - IN YOUR TYPEWRITER. - I KNEW IT! 126 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,538 DAMN IT. 127 00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:05,973 - [snickers] - ALL RIGHT. 128 00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:07,941 SHIT. GIMME WHAT YOU GOT. 129 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,810 FORK IT OVER. EVERYTHING. 130 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,012 I'M GONNA WEIGH THAT. 131 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:17,851 - NO, NO. H-HOLD ON, LADIES. 132 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,119 I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU. 133 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,822 NOW, LOOK, HEY, I AM VERY WELL AWARE 134 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,424 THAT I DON'T ALWAYS SET THE BEST EXAMPLE, 135 00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,092 BUT YOU GUYS ARE ENTIRELY TOO YOUNG 136 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,494 TO BE MESSING AROUND WITH THIS STUFF. 137 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,429 YOU KNOW, IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT POT. 138 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:31,532 IT'S VERY MUCH A GATEWAY DRUG. 139 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,401 AND IT CAN BE A GATEWAY TO SOME PRETTY COOL THINGS. 140 00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:35,035 BUT IT CAN ALSO LEAD TO POVERTY, DESPAIR, 141 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,704 STUNTED ADOLESCENCE, MAN-BREASTS. 142 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,806 [both snickering] 143 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,841 YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY? 144 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:44,044 [both giggling] 145 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:46,714 - OH, GO ON, GET OUTTA HERE. BOTH OF YOU. 146 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,649 TO BE CONTINUED, YOUNG LADY. 147 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,884 [laughter continues] 148 00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,086 OH... 149 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,563 [hissing] 150 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,736 [elevator bell dings] 151 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,905 WHAT UP, CHOCOLATE SWEETNESS? 152 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,507 - WHO ARE YOU HERE TO SEE? 153 00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,709 - RUNKLE. - WHOSE UNCLE? 154 00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:24,478 - RUNKLE. CHARLIE RUNKLE. 155 00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:26,514 - OH, THE CUTE LITTLE BALD GUY. 156 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,148 - JUST SO'S YOU KNOW, 157 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,817 NOT A POSE THAT INSPIRES CONFIDENCE 158 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,251 IN YOUR ONE AND ONLY CLIENT. 159 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,187 - IT'S THIS GODDAMN ECONOMY, HANK. 160 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,724 - YOU CAN'T BLAME EVERYTHING ON THE ECONOMY, DOUCHE BAG. 161 00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:38,091 - NO? CAN I BLAME IT FOR THE FACT 162 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,661 THAT NO ONE WANTS TO PUBLISH YOUR BOOK? 163 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,696 - NONSENSE. PEOPLE LOVE ME. 164 00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:44,798 - NO ONE, HANK. NOT A SOUL. 165 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:47,501 - WHAT THE FUCK, RUNKLE? - I DON'T KNOW. 166 00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:49,002 I BEEN COLLECTING PASSES ALL MORNING. 167 00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:51,605 IT'S TOO LONG. IT'S TOO SELF-INDULGENT. 168 00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,741 IT'S TOO HATEFUL, TOO MISOGYNISTIC. 169 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,976 IT'S TOO SOFT. IT'S TOO MEAN-SPIRITED. 170 00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,645 - LIKE THOSE ARE BAD THINGS? 171 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,046 I-I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GONNA SAY THIS OUT LOUD, 172 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:00,514 BUT WHAT ABOUT THE STUDIOS? 173 00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:02,049 - NOPE. THEY'RE NOT BITING EITHER. 174 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,551 - YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT HOLLYWOOD DOESN'T WANT 175 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,185 SOMETHING ELSE FROM THE UNREPENTANT ASSHOLE, 176 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,721 THAT BROUGHT YOU CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE ONE... 177 00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:08,889 - HANK. - AND DOS? 178 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,291 - HANK, I TOLD YOU TO PLAY NICE, DIDN'T I? 179 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,561 I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCK THE DIRECTOR'S WIFE. 180 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:16,263 I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE A BURNING BAG OF YOUR OWN FECES 181 00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,865 ON THE PRODUCER'S DOORSTEP. 182 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,567 - [laughs] THAT STILL CRACKS ME UP. 183 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,869 THAT'S A BIG FUCKING BUMMER, CHARLIE. 184 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,304 I COULD REALLY USE AN INFLUX OF "CASHISH" RIGHT ABOUT NOW. 185 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,707 THE MONEY FOR THE ASHBY BOOK ONLY WENT SO FAR. 186 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,742 - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. GET IN LINE, ASSHOLE. 187 00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,644 I WAS KINDA LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEW HANK MOODY BOOK TOO, 188 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:31,612 YOU KNOW? 189 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,781 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HE WANTS TO RESCHEDULE? 190 00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,148 TELL HIM I'LL GNAW OFF HIS THIMBLE DICK 191 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,284 AND FEED IT TO MY CATS! 192 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,287 AH, RUNKLE, QUIT BEATING YOUR MEAT. 193 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,590 - NEVER GETS OLD, SUE. 194 00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,925 HANK MOODY, MY BOSS, SUE COLLINI. 195 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,894 - OH. PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU 196 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,629 AT THE HARRY GREENBERG AGENCY, HANK. 197 00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:51,298 - THE PLEASURE IS ALL MINE. OBVIOUSLY. 198 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,634 - AH, YOUR MAN RUNKLE... 199 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,103 NOW WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT A COCK OF THE WALK, HUH... 200 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,871 - REALLY? - [laughs] 201 00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,608 I MEAN, THIS GUY'S A STUD. AND HIS HEAD--OH, UHH! 202 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,610 IT JUST MAKES YOU WANNA GIVE IT A BIG LICK 203 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,344 AND SEE WHAT COMES OUT OF IT. 204 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,046 - PLEASE DON'T. - OH, WELL, OF COURSE NOT. 205 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:10,117 IT WOULD BE INAPPROPRIATE. 206 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,819 MEET ME FOR A DRINK LATER. 207 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:16,156 - UH, ACTUALLY, I'M SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING WITH HANK HERE. 208 00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,992 - NO. I DON'T THINK WE HAVE ANY PLANS. 209 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,628 - YEAH, I THINK WE DO. 210 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:24,798 - NO, I'M... PRETTY SURE WE DON'T. 211 00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:27,200 - EXCELLENT. I'M ALL YOURS, SUE. 212 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,938 - RIGHT. BETTER LAY DOWN THOSE CARBS, RUNKLE. 213 00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:33,173 WE'RE GOIN' DEEP. 214 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:36,343 COLLINI...OUT. 215 00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,912 - WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS? 216 00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,716 [school bell rings] 217 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,986 - HEY. IT'S RIP VAN WINKLE. - OH, HEY! 218 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,921 YOU KNOW, I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT. 219 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:51,124 YOU KNOW, I TOOK A NAP. I'M FRESH AS A FUCKING DAISY. 220 00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,293 - BECCA'S DAD, RIGHT? - YIKES. 221 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,796 IT DEPENDS ON WHAT SHE'S DONE TO RAISE YOUR IRE. 222 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,998 - BECCA? OH, NO, BECCA'S ADORABLE. 223 00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,800 IT'S HER FATHER I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH. 224 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,935 - OH, WELL, TAKE A NUMBER AND GET IN LINE. 225 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:04,638 I'LL TELL HIM YOU'RE WAITING. IF I SEE HIM, OF COURSE. 226 00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:07,107 - FELICIA KOONS. CHELSEA'S MOM? 227 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,176 - OH, BOY. 228 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,911 HOWDY. HANK MOODY. 229 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,913 - YEAH. SO I GUESS I WAS WONDERING 230 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,048 WHY MY DAUGHTER CAME HOME STONED LAST NIGHT. 231 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,684 - ARE YOU SURE SHE WAS STONED? 232 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,852 - I KNOW A STONED TEENAGER WHEN I SEE ONE. 233 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,187 I'M A COLLEGE PROFESSOR. 234 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,023 - SHIT. I GUESS THE JIG IS UP. 235 00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,392 - YOU KNOW, FAR BE IT FOR ME TO PASS JUDGMENT 236 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,895 ON YOUR...RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES, 237 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,296 BUT MAYBE YOU SHOULD MAKE YOUR DOPE 238 00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,331 A LITTLE LESS ACCESSIBLE? 239 00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,667 I MEAN, WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT? 240 00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,302 DO YOU HAVE GUNS IN THE HOUSE TOO? 241 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,337 - YES, I DO, BUT I KEEP 'EM IN THE FREEZER. 242 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:40,340 RIGHT NEXT TO THE HEROIN. 243 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:41,909 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. 244 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,376 I FUCKED UP. I-I WON'T DO IT AGAIN. 245 00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:44,377 I GET IT. 246 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:47,014 THAT'S JUST FOR MY GLAUCOMA ANYWAY, YOU KNOW? 247 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,015 - [chuckles] - FATHER. 248 00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:49,783 - HEY, SPEAK OF THE SHE-DEVILS. 249 00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:52,219 CAN I GO OVER TO CHELSEA'S? - WELL... 250 00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,187 THAT WOULD DEPEND ON CHELSEA 251 00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:56,790 AND HER LOVELY, FAR-TOO-YOUNG TO BE A MOTHER HERE. 252 00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:57,925 - MOM? - HMM? 253 00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,093 - [stammers] SURE. WHY NOT? 254 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:02,095 PICK HER UP LATER. ACTUALLY, STAY FOR DINNER. 255 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,831 WE'RE HAVING SOME PEOPLE OVER. 256 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,733 - NO. NO, NO, NO. I DON'T PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS. 257 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:06,967 IT WOULDN'T TURN OUT WELL FOR ANYBODY. 258 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,435 - IT'S TRUE, HE DOESN'T. - I DON'T. 259 00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:11,839 - LOOK, IF WE'RE GOING TO BE BAILING THESE TWO OUT OF JAIL 260 00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,006 EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, 261 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,776 WE MAY AS WELL GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER A LITTLE BETTER. 262 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,111 SO BE THERE. KEEP THE WEED AT HOME. 263 00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:20,981 - SURE THING, TEACH. 264 00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:28,255 - AND THAT BRINGS US TO THE ISSUE OF THE HOUSE. 265 00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:31,391 - I JUST WANT MY FAIR SHARE. - MM-HMM. 266 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,994 - IT'S BEEN SITTING ON THE MARKET FOR MONTHS NOW, CHARLIE. 267 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,929 IT'S NOT SELLING. 268 00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:37,297 - WELL, MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T TOO BUSY 269 00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,832 BRINGING EVERY UNEMPLOYED ACTOR IN L.A. 270 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,801 WITH A COUGAR FETISH BACK TO MY HOUSE, 271 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,435 YOU COULD FOCUS ON GETTING IT SOLD. 272 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:45,873 - FIRST...IT'S OUR HOUSE. 273 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,208 AND SECOND, IF YOU WEREN'T TOO BUSY 274 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,811 TRYING TO SHOVE YOUR ANGRY INCH INTO EVERY DAMAGE CASE 275 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,312 THAT CROSSES YOUR PATH, 276 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:54,782 WE WOULDN'T EVEN BE IN THIS MESS TO BEGIN WITH. 277 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,784 CAN I GET A FUCKING AMEN? 278 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,518 UNCE, UNCE! 279 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,822 - LOOK, ALL I'M SAYING IS I CAN'T AFFORD 280 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,924 TO KEEP PAYING RENT AND MORTGAGE AT THE SAME TIME. 281 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,959 - HE'S HIDING MONEY SOMEWHERE. I KNOW IT! 282 00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:10,063 - THERE'S NOTHING TO HIDE! SHE SNORTED IT ALL. 283 00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:11,498 - YOU'RE WORKING AS AN AGENT AGAIN! 284 00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:13,867 - I'M WORKING ON COMMISSION! 285 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:16,904 - REALLY? THAT'S PATHETIC, CHARLIE. 286 00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,471 - AGREED. IT'S THE ONLY WAY 287 00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,340 I COULD GET BACK IN THE BUSINESS, OKAY? 288 00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:21,942 IT'S NOT LIKE THE TOP FIVE 289 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,911 ARE ROLLING OUT THE RED CARPET FOR ME. 290 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,914 - HMM. I WONDER WHY. OH, THAT'S RIGHT. 291 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:29,349 THEY'RE PROBABLY AFRAID YOU'D JERK OFF ALL OVER IT. 292 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:32,185 - [laughing] 293 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:34,387 YOU KNOW WHAT? HAVE IT YOUR WAY, OKAY? 294 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,323 I'LL JUST--I'LL MOVE BACK IN. 295 00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,425 - HELLS NO! - WHAT, YOU SAID SO YOURSELF. 296 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:41,128 IT'S OUR HOUSE. MY NAME'S ON THE MORTGAGE TOO. 297 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:42,329 YOU KNOW? 298 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,798 - THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT. TELL HIM, MARV! 299 00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:47,034 - WHAT CAN I SAY? 300 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,803 IT'S PERFECTLY WITHIN HIS RIGHTS. 301 00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:52,072 - OH! YES! FINALLY! 302 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,306 I WIN! EHH! 303 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,459 [honking] 304 00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,363 [honk honk] 305 00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,200 - ASSHOLE. - HEY. 306 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,301 I KNOW YOU'RE SAVING THE PLANET AND ALL, 307 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,136 BUT IT DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE AN ASSHOLE. 308 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,905 - FUCK YOU! - FUCK ME? 309 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,840 - YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. FUCK YOU! 310 00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:28,976 - LIVE STRONG, ASSHOLE. - AAH! 311 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,010 [tires squealing] 312 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,363 - HELLOO. 313 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,965 - OH! HANK MOODY. 314 00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,100 - HELLO. 315 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:57,204 I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO RICHARD BATES, THE WRITER. 316 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,505 - RICHARD BATES. WOW. 317 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,540 - HE'S GOING TO BE TEACHING HERE THIS YEAR. 318 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,609 IT'S A HUGE COUP FOR US. - BIG FAN. 319 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:05,078 I JUST FEEL A SLIGHT MAN CRUSH COMING ON. 320 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:06,947 - WELL, THANK YOU, AREN'T YOU KIND? 321 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,016 THIS IS MY T.A. - JILL ROBINSON. 322 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,083 NICE TO MEET YA. 323 00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:11,218 - JILL, THE PLEASURE IS ALL YOURS. 324 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:12,953 OR MINE. 325 00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,421 OKAY, OURS. 326 00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:17,357 - HANK IS QUITE THE ACCOMPLISHED NOVELIST 327 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,126 IN HIS OWN RIGHT. 328 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,128 THAT'S RIGHT. I GOOGLED YOU. 329 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:22,529 - MM. I FEEL PLEASANTLY VIOLATED. 330 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,998 - SO YOU WERE JUST GONNA... 331 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,566 SHOW ME TO THE LITTLE GIRL'S ROOM. 332 00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,535 - OH, SURE THING. FOLLOW ME. 333 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,470 - TINKLE, TINKLE. - RIGHT THIS WAY. 334 00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:33,306 - DRINK WITH ME. I INSIST. 335 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,208 - OH, NO, THANK YOU. - NO, NO, PLEASE. 336 00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:37,477 - NO, I'M FINE. - OH... 337 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,112 CRACK THE SKY WAS A BIG DEAL FOR ME. 338 00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:41,915 I FELT LIKE I WAS CLIMBING KILIMANJARO WITH YOU. 339 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,450 GAVE ME A HUGE WRITING BONER. COME ON. 340 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,485 PLEASE? 341 00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:46,987 PRETTY PLEASE? 342 00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:54,227 TO THE BLANK PAGE. 343 00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:59,232 - MM. 344 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,101 [grunts] 345 00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:09,709 OH! 346 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,212 - WOW. THAT WAS SOMETHING. 347 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,147 - IT SURE WAS. 348 00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:15,415 HAVEN'T TOUCHED THE STUFF 349 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,717 SINCE SLICK WILLY WAS IN THE WHITE HOUSE. 350 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,586 - FUCK ME. - YES. 351 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,221 NOW POUR ME ANOTHER. - OH, NO, NO. 352 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,155 THE BAR JUST CLOSED. 353 00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:24,257 ONE WAS AN HONOR, BUT I'M CUTTING YOU OFF. 354 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,692 - GIVE ME THE FUCKING BOTTLE, BUSH LEAGUE, 355 00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,194 BEFORE THEY COME BACK. 356 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,395 - MM-MM. - GIVE-- 357 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,197 - NO. NO. - GIVE ME THE BOTTLE. 358 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,965 - MM-MM. NO. UH-UH. - COME HERE! 359 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:34,734 - [hoarsely] MY BALLS. OH, SHIT. 360 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,670 - THANK YOU. - DON'T SAY ANYTHING. 361 00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:42,009 - [gasps] OH! OH, MY GOODNESS. 362 00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:44,044 - WHOSE PIECE OF SHIT PORSCHE IS THAT? 363 00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:46,346 - STACY, WHAT HAPPENED? - OH, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT. 364 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,416 SOME FUCKING ASSHOLE-- - WELL, YOU KNOW... 365 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,717 IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF A CLASSIC. 366 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,253 I JUST KIND OF-- - STACY, THIS IS BECCA'S FATHER. 367 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,555 HANK MOODY, THE WRITER. 368 00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:58,458 - STACY, I DO BELIEVE I CAN SEE THE OUTLINE OF YOUR COCK. 369 00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:00,093 IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF 370 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,329 A NICE, BIG FIRE HELMET DOWN THERE. 371 00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,497 I'M MORE OF AN ANTEATER MYSELF. 372 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,733 ENHANCES SENSITIVITY. 373 00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:09,102 SHALL WE DINE? 374 00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:17,744 - TIMES ARE TOUGH, RUNKLE. 375 00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:22,249 I NEED YOU TO SIGN MOTHERFUCKERS AND PUT THEM TO WORK. 376 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,751 THAT'S WHAT I WANT. THAT'S WHAT YOU PROMISED ME. 377 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,786 - ABSOLUTELY. YOU'RE RIGHT, SUE. 378 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:27,854 YOU CAN COUNT ON ME. 379 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,123 I STEPPED AWAY FROM THE GAME FOR A LITTLE WHILE, 380 00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:31,591 BUT I AM BACK NOW. 381 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,693 I'M JUST A LITTLE RUSTY. - RUSTY. 382 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:34,627 YOU MEAN LIKE A TROMBONE? 383 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,629 HEY, ANYBODY EVER GIVE YOU ONE OF THOSE? 384 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:40,100 - I...DON'T BELIEVE SO. - TRUST ME. 385 00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:44,604 YOU'D REMEMBER. ANALINGUS...WITH A TUG JOB. 386 00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:47,107 OUGHT TO TRY IT. 387 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:48,541 WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE POSITION? 388 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:51,578 - SSSEXUALLY? - YEAH. 389 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,613 - I DON'T SEE HOW THAT'S AT ALL RELEVANT-- 390 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:56,383 - YEAH. I LIKE A... STAND UP 69. 391 00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:57,650 YOU EVER TRY IT? 392 00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,153 - THAT SOUNDS...CHALLENGING. 393 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,254 - EXACTLY! 394 00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:04,057 WHICH IS WHY YOU END UP COMING LIKE A BABY GORILLA. 395 00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:05,458 [laughs] 396 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:08,795 SO WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON INTEROFFICE ROMANCE, HUH? 397 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,798 - [laughs] I APPRECIATE THE INTEREST, SUE. 398 00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:12,865 REALLY, I DO. 399 00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:16,069 BUT I AM RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A NASTY DIVORCE. 400 00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:19,506 I'M WHAT THEY CALL EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE. 401 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,241 - EMOTIONS? 402 00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:22,809 WHO NEEDS EMOTIONS? 403 00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:24,644 I'M THINKING ABOUT YOUR TUBE STEAK. 404 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,646 IS THAT UNAVAILABLE TOO? 405 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:27,847 - AH! 406 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:28,948 - OH HO HO! 407 00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:31,384 OH, YOU CAN PLAY HARD TO GET ALL YOU LIKE, RUNKLE. 408 00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:33,520 WHATEVER MAKES YOU WET. 409 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,656 BUT SUE COLLINI ALWAYS GETS THE WEENIE. 410 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,826 ALWAYS. 411 00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,628 BOTTOMS UP, COWBOY. 412 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,230 - RIGHT OF WAY OR NOT, 413 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,165 YOU WERE DEFINITELY HOGGING THE ROAD. 414 00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,533 - YOU FLICKED YOUR CIGARETTE AT ME. 415 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,800 - WELL SURE. BUT YOU GAVE ME THE FINGER. 416 00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,202 THAT GOT MY IRISH UP. 417 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:50,803 THAT WAS DOWNRIGHT ANTISOCIAL OF YOU. 418 00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:53,240 - YES. BUT YOU WERE HONKING YOUR HORN REPEATEDLY. 419 00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,641 - WHICH BRINGS US BACK FULL CIRCLE 420 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,143 TO THE FACT THAT YOU WERE HOGGING THE ROAD. 421 00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:58,278 I'M JUST SAYIN'... - I HAD THE RIGHT OF WAY. 422 00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,879 - WHO SAYS? - STATE OF CALIFORNIA. 423 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,548 - I DON'T AGREE. - HE DOESN'T AGREE. 424 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,482 - I DON'T AGREE. 425 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,117 - CAN WE JUST CHANGE THE SUBJECT, PLEASE? 426 00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,885 - I-I'M FINE WITH THAT. 427 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,454 I MEAN, I'VE ALREADY MOVED ON. 428 00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,456 AND I WON'T HOLD ANY GRUDGES. I'M COOL. 429 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,892 HATE THE GAME...NOT THE PLAYAH. - I'LL DRINK TO THAT. 430 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,128 - UNBELIEVABLE. 431 00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:18,231 - UH...CAN WE BE EXCUSED? 432 00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:19,766 - PLEASE. I INSIST. 433 00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:22,402 - HEY, LADIES, NO MARY JANE. 434 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,603 I'M SERIOUS. TRY ME. 435 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:27,174 I'M LIKE A DRUG-SNIFFING DOG WITH A HARD-ON FOR JUSTICE. 436 00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,775 YEAH. HEY... - FATHER. 437 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:32,545 - NOW GET OUTTA HERE. - JESUS. 438 00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:34,547 - OKAY, I'M JUST GONNA THROW THIS OUT TO THE TABLE. 439 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,816 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS THINKING, GAY, BI-CURIOUS, HUH? 440 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,552 WHAT? 441 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,288 - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 442 00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,156 - WHAT? I'M THE ASSHOLE 443 00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:44,824 JUST BECAUSE I SAY WHAT'S ON EVERYBODY'S MIND? 444 00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:47,760 - IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME. - ACTUALLY, ME NEITHER. 445 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,230 - I CAN'T REALLY SAY I SEE IT MYSELF. 446 00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:51,398 - OH. 447 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:52,432 - LITTLE GIRLS... 448 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,934 IN PRETTY BOXES. 449 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,569 [someone clicking tongue] 450 00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:59,439 - WELL, I'M NOT AFRAID TO PUT IT OUT THERE, YOU KNOW? 451 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,674 AND IF MY DAUGHTER DECIDES SHE'S A GAY, 452 00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:03,910 I CANNOT THINK OF A NICER GAL 453 00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:06,679 THAT SHE CAN, YOU KNOW, INDULGE HER SAPPHIC TENDENCIES WITH. 454 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,681 - THAT'S VAGUELY SWEET, I THINK. 455 00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,783 - YES. VAGUELY NAUSEATING. 456 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,919 - WHERE IS THE BOOM-BOOM ROOM? 457 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:16,556 - IT'S JUST DOWN THE HALL, RICHARD, TO YOUR LEFT. 458 00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,591 - [clears throat] 459 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:19,959 - GOOD SQUASH. 460 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,894 - TEN YEARS SOBRIETY, DOWN THE DRAIN. 461 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:23,663 NICE JOB. 462 00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:26,199 HOW IS HE GONNA GET UP IN FRONT OF A CLASS? 463 00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:28,635 - WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. - NO, WHAT DO THEY SAY, HANK? 464 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,338 - YOU REALLY HAVE TO WANT TO QUIT. 465 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:32,705 YOU GOTTA... - OH... 466 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:33,940 - HIT ROCK BOTTOM. 467 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:37,277 - CAN I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU, DEAR? 468 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:39,446 - SURE, DARLING. 469 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:45,685 - SO WHAT'S YOUR STORY, MORNING GLORY? 470 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:49,322 - [chuckles] 471 00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:51,291 I'M...33. 472 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:52,559 - PERFECT. 473 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,561 - I'M GETTING MY PhD ON... 474 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:56,663 - PERFECT. - ENGLISH LIT. 475 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:57,930 I LOVE TO READ. - OH! 476 00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:00,800 - THAT'S MY DRUG OF CHOICE, THE WRITTEN WORD. 477 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:04,337 AND, UH...I JUST ENDED A FIVE-YEAR RELATIONSHIP 478 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,273 THAT YIELDED ME A BIG, FAT NOTHING-- 479 00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:07,640 NOT TO MAKE IT SOUND LIKE 480 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:10,777 A COLD, HARD BUSINESS DEAL, BUT... 481 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:12,445 WHATEVER. [clears throat] 482 00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:14,681 AND MY 20s WENT BY LIKE A WARM SUMMER DAY, 483 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:18,285 AND NOW MY UTERUS IS DETERIORATING WITH EVERY BREATH. 484 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:19,552 SO, YEAH, I-I SEE IT ALL. 485 00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:23,423 YOU'RE HANDSOME AND YOU'RE FUNNY AND...REALLY, 486 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,392 UNLESS YOU'RE A SERIOUS PROSPECT, 487 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,560 DO NOT SO MUCH AS SMILE AT ME. 488 00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:29,729 REALLY, TRULY. DON'T TRY TO CHARM ME. 489 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,931 IT WOULD JUST BE A HEINOUS CRIME 490 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,567 AGAINST THE OTHER SEX, GIVEN THIS FULL DISCLOSURE. 491 00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,436 [indistinct voices growing louder] 492 00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:39,572 - AND...I'M HARD. - [laughs] 493 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:42,709 NO, PLEASE, SERIOUSLY. YOU'RE REALLY DANGEROUS. 494 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,544 PLEASE STAY AWAY. 495 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,280 - UH... 496 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:50,317 LET'S TRY AGAIN, SHALL WE? 497 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,051 - THAT'S MIGHTY WHITE OF YOU, STACE. 498 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,321 - STACY. - STACY. 499 00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,289 KOONS, RIGHT? 500 00:20:56,323 --> 00:20:57,957 - UH, THAT'S RIGHT. 501 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:00,960 - MM. YOU'RE THE DEAN 502 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:03,296 OF THIS FINE INSTITUTE OF FANCY BOOK LEARNING? 503 00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:05,332 - CORRECT. 504 00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,434 - WHICH WOULD MAKE YOU... DEAN KOONS? 505 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,336 - I'VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE. 506 00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:12,439 - WHO WANTS TO SEE ME TUCK AND DO THE PEE-PEE DANCE? 507 00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:13,906 - OH! - OH, MY GOD. 508 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,675 RICHARD! 509 00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:17,677 - COME ON. I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE. 510 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:18,978 - AND THEN... - WHERE ARE THE GIRLS? 511 00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:21,314 - JUST LIKE THAT... [snaps] 512 00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:25,752 HE UNVEILED HIS BEAUTIFUL MAN-PUSSY. 513 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:29,522 HIS GLORIOUS...MANGINA. 514 00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:32,091 MM...MM... 515 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:35,362 MEET MY PEACH, BABY. 516 00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:36,963 BLOW ON MY DICE. 517 00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:39,966 I WANNA SWING THAT SWING. 518 00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:42,335 DON'T YOU TREAT ME NICE. 519 00:21:42,369 --> 00:21:45,104 - RICHARD, LET ME-- - I'M WILD FOR YOU. 520 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,739 - LET ME CALL YOU A CAB. RICHARD, LET ME-- 521 00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:50,410 - SWEET BABY, I'M A CHILD FOR YOU. 522 00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:51,544 - RICHARD, YOU KNOW WHAT, 523 00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:52,712 WHY DON'T YOU STAY IN THE GUEST ROOM? 524 00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:54,080 - STACY. - YEAH. 525 00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:57,116 - HAVE YOU EVER SPENT TIME WITH AN 11-YEAR-OLD BOY 526 00:21:57,149 --> 00:22:00,453 AND WANTED MORE FROM HIM THAN HE WAS WILLING TO GIVE? 527 00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:02,722 HAVE YOU EVER BREATHED IN THE SCENT 528 00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:05,091 OF A WOMAN'S SWEATY, UNWASHED SEX 529 00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:07,394 AND JUST... [inhales] MM... 530 00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:11,398 WANTED TO BOTTLE AND SELL IT AT MARKET? 531 00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:14,100 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SO DRUNK ON COCK 532 00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:16,436 YOU HOWLED AT THE MOON 533 00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:18,671 AND BEGGED FOR A FEW INCHES MORE? 534 00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:20,673 - LADIES? 535 00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:22,141 DEAN KOONS? 536 00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:24,544 - ALL THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE WILL BE ANSWERED 537 00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:27,980 [snaps] IN MY NEW NOVEL. 538 00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:29,849 HA! - LET'S GET YOU DRESSED. 539 00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:33,453 - FIRST... I WANNA GO FOR A SWIM! 540 00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:35,822 ARRGH! - OH! 541 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:37,590 - WHOO! 542 00:22:37,624 --> 00:22:38,691 [thud] [laughter] 543 00:22:38,725 --> 00:22:40,593 - LOVE THAT GUY. 544 00:22:40,627 --> 00:22:43,129 - BIG FAN. 545 00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:45,665 - [whispers] BIG DICK. - WOW! 546 00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:49,902 - [laughing] 547 00:22:54,607 --> 00:22:57,444 - WHAT DO YOU WANT, CHARLIE? I'M WATCHING MY STORIES. 548 00:22:57,477 --> 00:23:00,447 - MARCY ELLEN RUNKLE. 549 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:01,414 I LOVE YOU. 550 00:23:01,448 --> 00:23:04,584 - OH. GO HOME, YOU MISERABLE SACK OF SHIT. 551 00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:06,486 SLEEP IT OFF! 552 00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:08,521 - BUT THIS IS MY HOME! 553 00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:12,725 THIS! AND YOU KNOW WHY? 554 00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:15,462 BECAUSE MARCY LIVES HERE. 555 00:23:15,495 --> 00:23:17,964 SHE'S MY HOME. 556 00:23:17,997 --> 00:23:21,133 - MY TRUE WEST. - NORTH. 557 00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:23,002 - WHAT? - TRUE NORTH. 558 00:23:23,035 --> 00:23:25,137 THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY. - WHO? 559 00:23:25,171 --> 00:23:26,739 OH. 560 00:23:26,773 --> 00:23:28,441 WHAT? 561 00:23:28,475 --> 00:23:29,942 HEY... 562 00:23:29,976 --> 00:23:32,612 MARCE... [clears throat] 563 00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:34,814 LET'S GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT, HMM? 564 00:23:34,847 --> 00:23:36,716 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 565 00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:40,720 - NO? - OKAY, FAIR ENOUGH. 566 00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,789 CAN I USE THE BATHROOM? 567 00:23:42,822 --> 00:23:45,858 [chuckles] I HAVE TO GO NUMERO DOS, 568 00:23:45,892 --> 00:23:47,126 AND I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GONNA MAKE IT 569 00:23:47,159 --> 00:23:49,462 BACK TO WESTWOOD IN TIME. 570 00:23:49,496 --> 00:23:52,799 - MAKE IT QUICK, ASSHOLE. 571 00:23:52,832 --> 00:23:55,134 - YOU SURE BECCA'S OKAY TO SPEND THE NIGHT? 572 00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:56,636 - YEAH. LET HER SLEEP. 573 00:23:56,669 --> 00:23:58,137 I'LL DROP HER OFF IN THE MORNING. 574 00:23:58,170 --> 00:24:01,608 - BUT YOU'LL, UH, YOU'LL KEEP AN EYE ON THEM? 575 00:24:01,641 --> 00:24:02,742 - OH, RIGHT. 576 00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:04,644 FOR SIGNS OF LESBIANISM. YEAH. WILL DO. 577 00:24:04,677 --> 00:24:06,813 I'LL BE VIGILANT. 578 00:24:06,846 --> 00:24:08,648 - SORRY ABOUT THE DRAMA TONIGHT. 579 00:24:08,681 --> 00:24:10,783 YOU MUST THINK I'M A WORLD-CLASS A-HOLE. 580 00:24:10,817 --> 00:24:13,786 - HMM...DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE WORLD-CLASS. 581 00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:16,055 - YEAH, WELL, THANK YOU. WHAT ABOUT BATES? 582 00:24:16,088 --> 00:24:18,124 IS HE GONNA BE ABLE TO DO HIS THING? 583 00:24:18,157 --> 00:24:21,060 - FROM REHAB? I DOUBT IT. 584 00:24:21,093 --> 00:24:24,897 YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW OF ANY OTHER BAD-BOY NOVELISTS 585 00:24:24,931 --> 00:24:27,867 LOOKING FOR A TEACHING GIG, WOULD YOU? 586 00:24:27,900 --> 00:24:29,802 - I DON'T KNOW. 587 00:24:29,836 --> 00:24:31,871 I WILL, UH, BRING IT UP AT THE NEXT UNION MEETING. 588 00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:33,072 GOOD NIGHT. 589 00:24:33,105 --> 00:24:34,707 - NIGHT. 590 00:24:34,741 --> 00:24:36,509 [car alarm beeps] 591 00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:41,247 - WHERE YA HEADED? 592 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,249 - JUST HOME TO THE CATS. 593 00:24:43,282 --> 00:24:45,852 - SOUNDS HOT. 594 00:24:47,754 --> 00:24:48,921 - HOW 'BOUT A LIBATION? 595 00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:52,291 - OH! LIKE THAT COULD POSSIBLY END WELL. 596 00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:54,594 - OH, LOOK AT YOU WITH THE FORESIGHT AND ALL. 597 00:24:54,627 --> 00:24:56,929 WELL PLAYED, LADY. - THANKS. 598 00:24:56,963 --> 00:24:58,831 GOOD NIGHT, MR. MOODY. 599 00:24:58,865 --> 00:25:00,667 'TWAS A PLEASURE MEETING YOU. 600 00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:04,136 - GOOD NIGHT, PSYCHO. TAKE GOOD CARE OF THAT UTERUS. 601 00:25:18,885 --> 00:25:20,319 [loud knocking] - OH, MY GOD, CHARLIE. 602 00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:23,623 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? - IT'S MY I-B-S! 603 00:25:23,656 --> 00:25:27,259 YOU KNOW HOW IT KICKS IN IN TIMES OF EXTREME DURESS. 604 00:25:27,293 --> 00:25:30,229 WELL, THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES! 605 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,134 [hiss] AAH! 606 00:25:35,167 --> 00:25:41,040 [continues screaming] 607 00:25:41,073 --> 00:25:44,010 - ALL RIGHT. IT'S ALL RIGHT. 608 00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:47,714 - [sobbing] - MISERABLE SLOB. 609 00:25:47,747 --> 00:25:51,283 GUEST ROOM. GO. 610 00:25:57,323 --> 00:25:59,191 - WHAT UP, LADY FAIR? 611 00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:01,160 - HANK, IT'S LATE. 612 00:26:01,193 --> 00:26:03,730 - AND YET YOU DON'T SOUND EVEN REMOTELY SLEEPY. 613 00:26:03,763 --> 00:26:07,066 BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL? - SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 614 00:26:07,099 --> 00:26:09,969 - I GET IT. BIG DATE, HUH? 615 00:26:10,002 --> 00:26:11,771 - I'M NOT SURE HOW BIG IT WAS. 616 00:26:11,804 --> 00:26:14,907 - GROSS. 617 00:26:14,941 --> 00:26:17,176 - BAD BREATH. H-O-B. 618 00:26:17,209 --> 00:26:20,780 - H-O-B? - HAIR ON BACK. 619 00:26:20,813 --> 00:26:23,983 - OH. WELL, NOW I'M STARTING TO FEEL BETTER. 620 00:26:24,016 --> 00:26:26,986 - WHAT ABOUT YOU? - WHAT ABOUT ME? 621 00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:29,288 - OUR MONKEY IN THE MIDDLE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT 622 00:26:29,321 --> 00:26:32,258 CROSSING PATHS WITH A FRIEND OF YOURS. 623 00:26:32,291 --> 00:26:34,794 - OH, SHE'S A LITTLE MEDDLER, THAT ONE. 624 00:26:34,827 --> 00:26:36,996 - THAT SHE IS. 625 00:26:37,029 --> 00:26:40,266 - WELL, NOT TO WORRY. BAD BREATH. 626 00:26:40,299 --> 00:26:43,102 H-O-B. - [laughs] 627 00:26:43,135 --> 00:26:45,171 - MM. I MISS YOU. 628 00:26:45,204 --> 00:26:48,140 - I MISS YOU TOO. 629 00:26:48,174 --> 00:26:51,878 - IT AIN'T THE SAME WITHOUT YOU, YOU KNOW. 630 00:26:51,911 --> 00:26:55,381 - THAT'S NICE TO HEAR. 631 00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:57,984 I THINK IT'S GOOD, THOUGH. 632 00:26:58,017 --> 00:27:01,654 - WHAT'S GOOD? - WE'RE...LIVING OUR LIVES. 633 00:27:01,688 --> 00:27:05,658 WE'RE BEING ALL NORMAL AND RESPONSIBLE AND... 634 00:27:05,692 --> 00:27:08,294 LIKE REAL, LIVE GROWNUPS. 635 00:27:08,327 --> 00:27:12,765 - WELL, YEAH, I DO FEEL VAGUELY FUNCTIONAL THESE DAYS. 636 00:27:12,799 --> 00:27:15,935 YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU MIGHT EVEN BE PROUD OF ME. 637 00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:18,170 - I'M ALWAYS PROUD OF YOU. 638 00:27:18,204 --> 00:27:21,007 EVEN WHEN I'M NOT. 639 00:27:25,111 --> 00:27:28,047 - THAT'S NICE TO HEAR. 640 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,817 BUT... - BUT WHAT? 641 00:27:32,852 --> 00:27:35,054 - WHAT IF, IN THE PROCESS OF BEING... 642 00:27:35,087 --> 00:27:39,291 WELL, RESPONSIBLE AND GROWN-UP LIKE, WE... 643 00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:42,228 JUST KINDA GET OVER EACH OTHER? 644 00:27:46,432 --> 00:27:48,234 - WHAT IF... 645 00:27:48,267 --> 00:27:51,370 YOU TELL ME ABOUT OUR DAUGHTER. 646 00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:56,709 - WELL...THINGS ARE CHANGING, KAREN, 647 00:27:56,743 --> 00:27:59,178 JUST LIKE YOU SAID THEY WOULD. 648 00:27:59,211 --> 00:28:01,080 I MEAN, FAST, YOU KNOW, BUT I'M... 649 00:28:01,113 --> 00:28:03,149 I'M HOLDING ON AS HARD AS I CAN, 650 00:28:03,182 --> 00:28:05,852 AND I AM NOT GONNA LET GO. 651 00:28:05,885 --> 00:28:09,255 I MEAN, I... I WON'T FORGET YOU.