1
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,045
PREVIOUSLY ON
"CALIFORNICATION"...

2
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,814
NO KISS?
I'M DONE WITH THAT.

3
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,149
YOU,
ON THE OTHER HAND,

4
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,784
HAVE BEEN A VERY NAUGHTY
LITTLE SMURF.

5
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,252
BI-CURIOUS, ARE WE?

6
00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:20,621
HE STARTED IT
SPANKING HIS ASSISTANT.

7
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:22,156
IT WAS VERY SWEET,
ACTUALLY.

8
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:23,657
I WANT TO LEARN FROM YOU.

9
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,726
I WANT TO BE AN AGENT.
I SEE.

10
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:28,229
FIRST, YOU SYSTEMATICALLY
DESTROY MY MARRIAGE...

11
00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:29,830
I KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING,
CHARLIE.

12
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,433
...AND NOW YOU WANT ME
TO HELP WITH YOUR CAREER.

13
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,768
I DON'T THINK YOU HEARD ME.
I WROTE SOMETHING.

14
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:36,804
HANK WROTE A NEW BOOK?
CAN I READ IT?

15
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,239
I DON'T THINK
THAT'S APPROPRIATE.

16
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:39,840
Dani: IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN HELP YOU WITH?

17
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,842
I WROTE THIS NOVEL,
AND I WAS JUST WONDERING

18
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,112
IF CHARLIE
WOULD READ IT.
WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

19
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:46,314
A 16-YEAR-OLD GIRL
FUCKS A MUCH, MUCH OLDER MAN

20
00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:47,415
AND FINDS HERSELF

21
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,150
BOTH SPIRITUALLY
AND SEXUALLY AWAKENED.

22
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:51,152
OHH!

23
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,353
DAD, ARE YOU OKAY?

24
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,522
NO...

25
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,390
BUT I'M WORKING ON IT.

26
00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:57,558
THIS BOOK IS GONNA BE HUGE.

27
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,860
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
ARE YOU HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS?

28
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,296
ARE YOU QUESTIONING
THINGS?
I QUESTION EVERYTHING.

29
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:03,731
IT'S VERY HEALTHY.
IT IS VERY HEALTHY.

30
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,200
I JUST THINK YOU CAN'T RUN OFF
AND MARRY A GUY

31
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:09,203
AFTER MAKING SWEET LOVE
TO YOURS TRULY.

32
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:12,072
WE HAD WOMEN THAT LOVED
US FOR WHO WE WERE,
AND WE FUCKED IT UP.

33
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:17,845
AIN'T LIFE
FUCKIN' GRAND?

34
00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:32,793
YOWSA.

35
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:33,794
HEY.

36
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,596
YOU LOOK GREAT, MOM.

37
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,331
OH, THANK YOU,
SWEETIE.

38
00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:39,400
I GUESS YOU'RE GOING WITH
A MORE LIBERAL INTERPRETATION

39
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,269
OF THE WHOLE "WHITE WEDDING"
CONCEPT, ARE YOU?

40
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,603
DO YOU THINK
I COULD GO BRALESS --

41
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,272
OOH. SORRY.

42
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:45,773
DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD
A GENTLEMAN IN OUR PRESENCE.

43
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,376
WELL, ONLY IF YOU GO WITH
A MORE LIBERAL INTERPRETATION

44
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:49,910
OF THE WHOLE
"GENTLEMAN" CONCEPT.

45
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,078
OUCH.

46
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,914
YOU KNOW, AS EXCITING AS IT IS
TO BE BEHIND THE SCENES

47
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,217
IN THE GIRLS' LOCKER ROOM
RIGHT BEFORE THE BIG GAME,

48
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,785
I THINK I'M GOING
TO TAKE MY LEAVE.

49
00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,487
[ CAR ALARM ACTIVATES ]
OH, SHIT.

50
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,322
I THINK
MY DAD'S COMING.
WHAT?!

51
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,524
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
PLAYING RACQUETBALL.

52
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,259
YES, BY ALL MEANS,
GET THAT THING OFF.

53
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:07,728
THE GROOM SHOULD NOT
SEE YOU IN THE DRESS

54
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,430
JUST BEFORE THE WEDDING --
THAT'S BAD LUCK.

55
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,665
WHAT'S WORSE LUCK
IS GETTING MARRIED ITSELF.

56
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:12,533
SHUT UP.

57
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,502
IT'S LIKE
TWO OUT OF THREE OF THOSE

58
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:15,669
END IN DIVORCE.

59
00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:17,805
SOMETIMES MORE --
THREE OUT OF TWO.

60
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:20,241
BILL.
HANK.

61
00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:23,744
YOU LOOK LOVELY.
THANK YOU.

62
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,279
A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE
COMING FROM YOU.

63
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,748
YOU KNOW WHAT?
OATMEAL.

64
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:28,816
THANK YOU, DADDY.

65
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,818
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THE DRESS
KAREN HAD ON JUST NOW.

66
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,354
SHE HAD THE -- I MEAN,
IT WAS LIKE, HERE -- MM.

67
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,688
CUT IT OUT.
AND THEN THE BACK...

68
00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,290
RRRAH!

69
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:37,691
HEY.
YOU'RE HOME EARLY.

70
00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:40,828
WELL, I PLAYED HARRY GREENBERG.
I BAGELED HIM.

71
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:41,829
AH, IRONICALLY.

72
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:42,863
YOU KNOW WHAT?

73
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,266
ONE DAY, YOU AND ME,
BILL TILDEN. MANO A MANO.

74
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,401
WE'RE GONNA PLAY
THE REAL TENNIS.

75
00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:49,337
NOT THAT SISSY KIND.
WE'RE GOING '70s STYLE.

76
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,205
WE'RE PLAYING WOODEN RACKETS,
KNEE SOCKS.

77
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,406
PLUM SMUGGLERS.
WE DO IT.

78
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,874
BUT NOT TODAY
BECAUSE I GOTTA GO.

79
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:54,875
DAD.

80
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,544
YES.
YOU CAN'T.
REMEMBER?

81
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:57,545
N-- WHAT?

82
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:58,946
I HAVE TO
TALK TO YOU...

83
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,214
AND MOM.

84
00:03:00,248 --> 00:03:01,715
REALLY?
WHAT ABOUT, SWEETIE?

85
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,485
FAMILY STUFF.

86
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,555
WELL, WE'RE A FAMILY.
OR WE WILL BE VERY SOON, RIGHT?

87
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:10,424
SO I SHOULD SAY WHAT I FEEL?
NO MATTER WHAT?

88
00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:11,692
ABSOLUTELY.
YES.

89
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:12,593
ALWAYS.

90
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,895
I WANT TO LIVE WITH DAD.

91
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,533
I'LL STILL VISIT AND STUFF.

92
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:20,468
I JUST...

93
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:23,304
I WANT TO LIVE
MOST OF THE TIME WITH DAD.

94
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,440
IT'S THE FIRST
I'VE HEARD OF THIS.

95
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:27,975
KAREN. KAREN.

96
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,410
KAREN!

97
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:30,143
KAREN!

98
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:33,013
HEY, BECCA,
HAVE YOU, UM...

99
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,682
HAVE YOU
THOUGHT THIS THROUGH?

100
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,450
I MEAN, HAVE YOU --
BECCA.

101
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:37,618
SHIT. BECCA!

102
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,620
BECCA.

103
00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:40,788
BILL.

104
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:41,922
BILL.

105
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,825
THEN THERE WERE TWO.
YEAH.

106
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:47,728
I'M GONNA NEED SOME HELP
GETTING OUT OF THIS DRESS.

107
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:50,498
OOH.
AND THEN THERE WAS ONE.

108
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:43,984
THANK YOU.
SURE.

109
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:47,921
UNCLE RUNKLE.

110
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,724
SORRY I'M LATE.
I JUST, UH...

111
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:51,825
YOU JUST WHAT?

112
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,894
NAH. THAT'S ALL I GOT.

113
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,564
I DO HAVE SOME NEWS,
THOUGH.

114
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,566
AH! DELIGHT ME.

115
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,901
BECCA'S MOVING
BACK IN WITH ME.

116
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:01,969
MMM!

117
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,837
NO SHIT.
YEAH.

118
00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,873
POOR KAREN.
SHE MUST BE --
DEVASTATED.

119
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,441
THAT'S BRUTAL.

120
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:09,443
MM, IT IS.
THE GOOD NEWS IS, THOUGH,

121
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,645
THAT AS OF TODAY YOU AND
YOUR EXTENSIVE PORN COLLECTION

122
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,013
ARE MOVING IN
TO THE FOUR SEASONS.

123
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,815
FANTASTIC.
I BOOKED YOU A ROOM

124
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,351
IN THE "HUSBANDS
WHO'VE BEEN KICKED TO THE CURB

125
00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,453
BY THEIR DIMINUTIVE
LESBIAN WIVES" WING.

126
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,889
THAT'S RIGHT NEXT TO
THE "YOUNG ACTRESSES
FRESH INTO TOWN" WING.

127
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:22,690
AM I CORRECT?

128
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,692
I DON'T KNOW
THE LAYOUT OF THE HOTEL.

129
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,860
[ LAUGHS ]
WELL, UH, THAT IS NEWS.

130
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:29,463
BOY, UM, I'LL MISS
THE CAMARADERIE,

131
00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:31,064
BUT THAT STAIN
IN YOUR BEDROOM

132
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,000
WAS REALLY STARTING
TO UNNERVE ME.

133
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,703
YOU INSPIRED THAT STAIN,
YOU CUNNING LINGUIST, YOU.

134
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,438
IT'S A TALENT.
JOB WELL DONE.

135
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,539
BBRROOP!
BBRROOP!

136
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:39,873
[ BOTH LAUGH ]

137
00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:42,042
WHAT WERE YOU DOING
IN MY BEDROOM, YOU PERV?

138
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,010
SNOOPING, OF COURSE.

139
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,945
LOOKING FOR SOME
FUCKING WORDS I CAN SELL.

140
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:46,880
GOOD LUCK
WITH THAT SHIT.
BY THE WAY,

141
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,482
HOW COME
YOU NEVER TOLD ME

142
00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:50,818
BILL'S LITTLE LOLITA
OF A DAUGHTER WAS A WRITER?

143
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,686
'CAUSE I DON'T
USE THAT TERM LOOSELY.

144
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,088
WRITER. EVERYBODY SAYS
THEY'RE A WRITER IN THIS TOWN.

145
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:57,391
I'LL GIVE HER
"BUDDING WORDSMITH," MAYBE.

146
00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:58,492
"BUDDING," HUH?

147
00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,428
SHE'S FUCKIN' BLOOMED,
PAL.

148
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:03,597
DANI'S DRIPPING WET
OVER THIS MANUSCRIPT OF HERS.

149
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:05,833
IN FACT, SHE INSISTS
THAT I PUMP IT,

150
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,535
LAUNCH HER AGENTING CAREER,

151
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:08,769
OR SHE'S GONNA HIT ME

152
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,071
WITH THE MOTHER OF ALL
SEXUAL-HARASSMENT SUITS.

153
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:13,407
OH, CHARLIE, I'M SORRY.

154
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,676
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET ME
A FRONT-ROW SEAT TO THE TRIAL?

155
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,845
I'D LIKE TO BE BEHIND YOU
IN ALL THE COURTROOM SKETCHES.

156
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:18,912
YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.

157
00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:20,448
WHAT THE FUCK
DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

158
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,082
YOU FUCK AROUND
WITH YOUR ASSISTANT,

159
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,551
YOU'RE GONNA GET SCREWED.

160
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,719
THERE'S ONLY A FEW THINGS
THAT COULD HAPPEN,

161
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:26,987
ALL OF THEM BAD.

162
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,022
YOU'RE GONNA GET THREATENED,
YOU'RE GONNA GET SUED.

163
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,924
YOU CAN GO FOR THE TRIFECTA
AND GET DIVORCED.

164
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,460
AND YET,
DO I GET ANY CREDIT

165
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:33,994
FOR ALL THE ASSISTANTS
I DIDN'T FUCK?

166
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,729
NO, THAT'S
AN INJUSTICE.
IT IS.

167
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,566
I GET NO CREDIT FOR
ALL THE DICKS I DO NOT SUCK.

168
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,469
CHECK, PLEASE.

169
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:42,736
THEN AGAIN,
I DON'T KNOW.

170
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:45,138
IF -- IF MIA TURNS OUT
TO REALLY BE TALENTED,

171
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:47,641
THEN I COULD PUMP THIS
TILL I'M BLUE IN THE FACE.

172
00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:49,477
NO HARM NO FOUL.
AM I RIGHT THERE?

173
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:52,580
SHE -- SHE MIGHT HAVE SOME
TALENT, FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN,

174
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:53,881
THE LITTLE I HAVE SEEN.

175
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,115
WHAT IS THIS THING ABOUT?

176
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:58,819
THIS COVERAGE MAKES IT SOUND
REALLY FUCKIN' HOT, YOU KNOW?

177
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:01,855
THERE'S THIS YOUNG WOMAN
WHO'S BANGIN' THIS OLDER GUY,

178
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:04,492
AND AT ONE POINT, YOU KNOW,
SHE -- SHE HAULS OFF

179
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,627
AND JUST PUNCHES HIM
RIGHT IN THE FACE.

180
00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:09,129
THAT'S -- THAT'S PRETTY BALLSY
RIGHT THERE, RIGHT?

181
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,999
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE HAPPENS,
BUT THAT'S ONE SCENE.

182
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,000
MOTHERFUCKER.

183
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,034
WHAT?

184
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,773
"FUCKING & PUNCHING."

185
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,710
HMM.

186
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,914
THIS IS BEYOND BALLSY.

187
00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:30,484
WHERE ARE YOU --
[ CHAIR FALLS ]

188
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:32,820
OKAY, THEN.

189
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,855
[ TIRES SQUEAL ]

190
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:19,900
WHAT THE FUCK?

191
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:23,270
OH. I GUESS
YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME KNOCKING.

192
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,404
NO.
NO.

193
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:27,007
WELL, THAT'S WHY I LET
MYSELF IN -- BECAUSE I FIGURED

194
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,109
YOU'D PROBABLY BE OUT HERE
IN THIS GENERAL VICINITY,

195
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,177
UNABLE
TO HEAR ME KNOCKING.

196
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,946
OUT BY THE POOL, KICKIN' IT,
YOU KNOW, AFTER SCHOOL?

197
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:35,182
RIGHT. WELL, SCHOOL
DOESN'T GET OUT TILL 3:00.

198
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:38,118
YOU NEED TO GET ON TOP OF THAT
KIND OF SHIT, HANK.

199
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,653
WOW. IS THAT,
LIKE, UNIVERSAL?

200
00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,589
'CAUSE I WAS OVER
AT MIA'S SCHOOL THAT DAY,

201
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:42,723
AND IT WAS
VERY PROGRESSIVE,

202
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:45,158
LIKE MAYBE THEY DIDN'T ADHERE
TO THAT KIND OF STRICT --

203
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,126
THERE'S NO ONE HERE.

204
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,762
I'M ALL ON MY OWN
IN MY BIG, EMPTY HOUSE,

205
00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:50,964
JUST LIKE I WILL BE WHEN YOU
TAKE MY DAUGHTER AWAY FROM ME.

206
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:52,966
COME ON, HONEY.
I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.

207
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,134
OH, REALLY?

208
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,603
YOU DIDN'T
PUT HER UP TO IT?

209
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,170
NO! OF COURSE NOT.
WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

210
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,839
WELL, I DON'T KNOW --
TO EMBARRASS ME.

211
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,741
TO SCORE SOME BIG
FUCKING VICTORY OVER BILL.

212
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,910
NO, I WOULDN'T
DO THAT.
YOUR USUAL SHIT.

213
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,012
NO. NO, NO, NO.
I WOULDN'T DO THAT.

214
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,180
WHAT, SO SHE JUST
CAME UP WITH IT ALL BY HERSELF,

215
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,315
OUT OF THE BLUE?

216
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,884
THE SYSTEM THAT'S BEEN WORKING
FOR US SINCE WE SPLIT UP,

217
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,052
THAT'S NOT WORKING
ANYMORE?

218
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,588
"I WANT TO LIVE WITH DAD.
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH MOM."

219
00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:15,689
SHE'S A TEENAGER.

220
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:17,991
I THINK THE WORD YOU'RE
LOOKING FOR IS "MERCURIAL."

221
00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:19,927
NO, I'M NOT LOOKING --
UGH!

222
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,029
AND I WOULD NEVER
FUCK WITH HER HEAD LIKE THAT.

223
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,196
YOURS, YES.

224
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,666
I CAN BE A DICK LIKE THAT
SOMETIMES.

225
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,701
BUT HERS, NEVER.
NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.

226
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:29,737
WELL, OKAY.

227
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,338
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"OKAY"?

228
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,040
I MEAN,
"OKAY, I BELIEVE YOU."

229
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,842
BUT IT'S NOT GONNA MAKE
ANY DIFFERENCE.

230
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,610
IT DOESN'T MAKE IT
ANY EASIER FOR ME.

231
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,612
I KNOW, BUT IF YOU THINK ABOUT
IT IN PRACTICAL TERMS,

232
00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:40,881
IT JUST MEANS, LIKE, A COUPLE
EXTRA NIGHTS A WEEK, RIGHT?

233
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,650
I MEAN, IT'S NOT A BIG --

234
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:44,885
NO. DON'T, OKAY?
DON'T DO THAT.

235
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,987
I DON'T NEED YOUR
FUCKING SYMPATHY, HANK, OKAY?

236
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:47,921
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE,

237
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:49,890
'CAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO SEE YOU RIGHT NOW!

238
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:58,298
WHERE'S ILSA,
SHE-WOLF OF THE SS?

239
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,033
EXCUSE ME?

240
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,068
DANI.
WHERE'S DANI?

241
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,402
SHE'S -- SHE'S
IN A MEETING

242
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,071
WITH, UH, MR. RUNKLE.

243
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,272
AND YOU ARE?
GOING IN THERE.

244
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,240
I'M SORRY, SIR.
HEY,
LOOK AT THE TIME --

245
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,342
THE BIG HAND SAYS "FUCK"
AND THE LITTLE HAND SAYS "OFF."

246
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,044
GOOD THING IT DOESN'T
HAVE A SECOND HAND, HUH?

247
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:14,014
ALL RIGHT, I NEED
TO TALK TO YOU, AND YOU,

248
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,916
AND YOU NEED TO GET OUT,
AND YOU...

249
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:19,319
YOU, I DON'T NEED TO TALK TO,
BUT I KNOW YOU.

250
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,054
HELLO, VICTORIA.

251
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,089
WELL, SO FORMAL.

252
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:25,425
"TRICKY VICKY" HE USED TO
CALL ME BACK IN THE DAY.

253
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,294
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN,
HANK MOODY?

254
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,897
HAVEN'T YOU OWED ME A BOOK SINCE
THE GOOD GUY WAS IN OFFICE?

255
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,899
YEAH, IT'S BEEN SEVEN YEARS,
THANKS FOR ASKING.

256
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:34,234
IT'S COMING ALONG SWIMMINGLY.
SPELL-CHECKING AS WE SPEAK.

257
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,803
I NEED TO HAVE A CHAT
WITH YOU.

258
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,204
I'M IN
THE MIDDLE OF A MEETING.

259
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,972
I CAN SEE THAT.
IT WON'T TAKE LONG.

260
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:40,407
Charlie:
HANK, UH, DO YOU THINK

261
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,042
YOU TWO COULD DO THIS
A LITTLE BIT LATER?

262
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:42,943
LIKE AFTER THE MEETING

263
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,812
THAT VICTORIA FLEW IN
FROM NEW YORK FOR?

264
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,446
NO. WE SHOULD
STRAIGHTEN IT OUT NOW.

265
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,181
WE HAVE A BUNCH MORE
SET UP FOR LATER.

266
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,750
WE DON'T WANT THEM
TO STACK UP.

267
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:52,185
THANK YOU, DANI.
I CAN HANDLE THIS.

268
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:53,453
WELL, HANDLE IT, THEN.

269
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,056
LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE GOT
A LIVE ONE THERE, RUNKLE.

270
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,057
[ CHUCKLES UNEASILY ]

271
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:57,925
HANK, HAVE A SEAT.

272
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,327
WE CAN TALK
ABOUT "CHINESE DEMOCRACY"

273
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,863
AS SOON AS I'M DONE TALKING
WITH THE PUBLISHING SENSATION.

274
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:05,298
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE AWARE,
BUT THIS YOUNG WOMAN'S WRITTEN

275
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,967
WHAT COULD BE
THE BOOK OF THE YEAR.

276
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:07,835
IS THAT RIGHT?

277
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:10,137
HAVE I EVER BEEN WRONG
ABOUT THIS SHIT?

278
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,104
IT'S FANTASTIC.

279
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:13,306
IT'S LIKE YOUR EARLY STUFF.
NOT SO JUVENILE.

280
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:16,043
NOT SO MANY
LAME BONER JOKES.

281
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,311
WELL, COINCIDENTALLY,
I HAVE A LAME BONER RIGHT NOW.

282
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,913
I HAVE A LAME BONER
FOR JUSTICE.

283
00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:22,115
AND IF YOU WON'T GIVE ME
A PRIVATE SIDEBAR RIGHT NOW,

284
00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:23,784
MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING
YOU'D LIKE TO SAY

285
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:24,885
TO THESE GOOD PEOPLE?

286
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:28,155
I DON'T KNOW. WHAT MIGHT
THEY BE INTERESTED IN HEARING?

287
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:31,391
COME ON, MIA.
JUST -- JUST OUT WITH IT.

288
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:34,427
UH...

289
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:37,865
OH...WAIT.

290
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,332
I KNOW WHAT I COULD SAY.

291
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,301
THANK YOU, HANK.

292
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:44,805
THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME NOTES
AND HELPING ME WITH THIS.

293
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,506
IT'S BEEN
A DREAM COME TRUE, REALLY,

294
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,441
TO HAVE YOUR FAVORITE WRITER
IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD

295
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,310
HELP YOU
ON YOUR VERY FIRST...

296
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:52,245
...NOVEL.

297
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,314
HANK, YOU'RE SO SWEET.

298
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,483
THAT'S IT? THAT'S THE WAY
YOU WANT TO PLAY IT?

299
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:59,286
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO,
BLOW YOU, HANK?

300
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:01,454
I MEAN,
THAT WOULD BE UNTOWARD.

301
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:04,157
OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT
THE POTTY MOUTH ON THIS ONE.

302
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:06,026
I LOVE IT.

303
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,061
SHE'D BE GREAT
WITH THE PRESS, RIGHT?

304
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,897
LIKE ELIZABETH WURTZEL...
WITH TALENT.

305
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,431
OKAY, HANK.
LET'S GO, HUH?

306
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,534
WHAT THE FUCK
IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

307
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,837
WHAT DO YOU HAVE, EPILEPSY,
ASPERGER'S, TOURETTE'S?

308
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,471
GOOD TO SEE YOU, HANK.
GOOD LUCK WITH THE SPELL-CHECK.

309
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,874
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU,
CHARLIE.

310
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:21,875
LATER. LATER.

311
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:23,844
I WILL TALK TO YOU
LATER.

312
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,921
YOU CAN'T PACK HER LUNCH
FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS.

313
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:37,157
I KNOW. I'M JUST PACKING IT
FOR TOMORROW BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,

314
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,927
I FIGURED IF I GET ALL
THE SANDWICHES IN FOR TOMORROW,

315
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,029
THEN, IF HE FORGETS,
IT'S OKAY 'CAUSE, LIKE,

316
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,131
SHE HAS SANDWICHES
FOR EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK.

317
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,833
STOP STRESSING.
COME HERE. COME HERE.

318
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:46,834
COME HERE.

319
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,536
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
OKAY.

320
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,574
OH, IS MIA BACK
FROM HER MEETING YET?

321
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,476
WHAT MEETING?
SHE MET WITH CHARLIE.

322
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:58,946
SHE'S TRYING TO GET
ONE OF HER STORIES PUBLISHED.

323
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,547
ISN'T THAT GREAT?
OH, WOW, YEAH.

324
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:01,748
YEAH, I HAVEN'T READ IT,

325
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,818
BUT MY FATHER'S INTUITION SAYS
IT'S PROBABLY PRETTY SPECIAL.

326
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:07,387
YES. YEAH.
I'M SURE IT IS.

327
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:10,824
HAVE YOU, UM,
SIGNED THE PAPERS YET?

328
00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,459
OH, GOD. NO, HONEY.
SORRY. I FORGOT.

329
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,161
I'VE BEEN
A LITTLE PREOCCUPIED.

330
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,063
I KNOW. I KNOW.
LET'S GO. NO, WE GOT TO GO.

331
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,031
COME ON.
COME ON.
BUT, BILL...

332
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:19,599
WE'RE GONNA
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

333
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,268
NAH, THIS IS
IMPORTANT STUFF.

334
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,938
LOOK, WE HAVE OUR PRENUP,
WE HAVE OUR WILLS.

335
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:27,941
DON'T YOU CARE
ABOUT BECCA'S TRUST FUND?

336
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:28,942
YEAH...

337
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:29,943
NO.

338
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,212
BILL, I DON'T.
I DON'T CARE.

339
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:35,315
ALL I CARE ABOUT
IS BECCA LEAVING ME.

340
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,384
US.

341
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,619
SHE'S NOT LEAVING US.

342
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,221
YOU KNOW, SHE'S MOVING OUT.

343
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,356
SHE DOESN'T
WANT TO LIVE HERE ANYMORE.

344
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:46,626
[ SIGHS ] I CAN'T TELL
WHAT'S WORSE --

345
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,562
WHETHER SHE DOESN'T KNOW
SHE'S RIPPING MY HEART OUT,

346
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:53,033
OR WHETHER SHE DOES KNOW, BUT,
YOU KNOW, SHE JUST DOESN'T CARE.

347
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,601
HONEY, HONEY,
IT'S A PHASE.

348
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,970
SHE SEES MIA
ACTING SO INDEPENDENTLY,

349
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:59,339
SHE PROBABLY WANTS TO SEE
WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE,

350
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:02,375
SO SHE'S DOING THE ONLY THING
SHE CAN TO ASSERT HERSELF.

351
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,011
WHAT? LIKE GETTING AWAY
FROM ME?

352
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,213
LIKE I'M THE WICKED WITCH
OF THE WEST OR SOMETHING?

353
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:08,215
NO, IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT,
TRUST ME.

354
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,217
AS SOON AS
HER FATHER LETS HER DOWN,

355
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:13,220
SHE'LL BE BEGGING YOU TO
BRING HER BACK HOME, I PROMISE.

356
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:15,022
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HANK,
HERE.

357
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:16,924
HOW LONG
CAN THAT POSSIBLY TAKE?

358
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:19,259
HE'LL PROBABLY DISAPPOINT HER
ON THE CAR RIDE HOME

359
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,460
AND HAVE TO TURN AROUND.

360
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:23,330
DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH, 'CAUSE
I'M TRYING TO WALLOW HERE, OKAY?

361
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,932
[ INHALES,
EXHALES DEEPLY ]

362
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:34,407
THANK YOU
EVER SO KINDLY.

363
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:35,642
SO YOU HAD YOUR FUN

364
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,911
AND THEN YOU TOLD THEM
THE TRUTH, RIGHT?

365
00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:39,146
TOLD THEM WHAT, HANK?

366
00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:42,215
YOU KNOW, I THINK I'D APPRECIATE
YOUR PARTICULAR BRAND OF HUMOR

367
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:45,052
A LOT MORE IF YOU WEREN'T
FUCKING AROUND WITH MY LIFE.

368
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,354
AND YOU HAVEN'T FUCKED AROUND
IN MINE AT ALL?

369
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,622
I MEAN, I KNOW, I KNOW --
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

370
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,558
HOW COULD YOU
POSSIBLY HAVE KNOWN?

371
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,360
THE SIMPLE FACT REMAINS,
YOU FUCKED ME

372
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,362
AND YOU DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME.

373
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,064
THAT DOESN'T SIT WELL
WITH THE LADIES.

374
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,231
SO THIS IS YOUR REVENGE?

375
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,433
YOU'RE SOME KIND OF
FEMINIST CAPED CRUSADER?

376
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:03,270
YEAH, WELL, WE ALL PAY FOR
OUR SINS SOONER OR LATER, HANK.

377
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,404
THANK YOU.

378
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,139
HOW'D YOU GET AHOLD OF IT?

379
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:09,042
WELL, IT WAS JUST SITTING THERE
ALL UNAPPRECIATED AND SHIT,

380
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,011
AND I ASKED KAREN
IF I COULD READ IT.

381
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,345
AND SHE SAID "NO."

382
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:13,446
EXACTLY.

383
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,483
SHE WAS AFRAID THAT I WOULD
GET CORRUPTED IN SOME WAY.

384
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,385
I'M SURE.
OH, MAN.

385
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,088
I WONDER WHAT'D SHE THINK
IF SHE KNEW I THAT HAD
YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH.

386
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,189
BUT I DIGRESS.

387
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,324
ANYWAY,
I TOOK IT TO KINKO'S

388
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,493
AND SETTLED IN
FOR WHAT WAS TRULY A GREAT READ.

389
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:28,528
IT'S SO GOOD, HANK.

390
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,531
A REALLY GREAT FIRST DRAFT.

391
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,633
YOU'RE GONNA GET CAUGHT,
YOU KNOW.

392
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:36,103
PEOPLE ARE GONNA RECOGNIZE
MY WRITING.

393
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,171
NO, SEE,
I COVERED MY TRACKS.

394
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:41,108
I ADDED LITTLE BITS OF ME
WHEN I RE-TYPED IT.

395
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:44,477
IT'S NOT REALLY SO MUCH
AN OUTRIGH THEFT AS A MASH-UP.

396
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:47,647
AN HOMAGE, IF YOU WILL.
FROM ME TO YOU.

397
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:51,384
YOU ARE A VERY YOUNG...

398
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:53,553
SOCIOPATH-IN-TRAINING.

399
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:54,621
OH, COME ON.

400
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,624
THAT'S LIKE SATAN CALLING
ONE OF HIS JUNIOR MINIONS

401
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:58,558
"A BIG MEANIE."

402
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,593
YES, BUT I NEVER SET OUT
TO HURT YOU, MIA.

403
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,729
WHAT ELSE
IS OUT THERE FOR ME, HUH?!

404
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:05,498
COLLEGE, GOING TO EUROPE,
WORKING AT AN AGENCY,

405
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,567
A NETWORK, A STUDIO?

406
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,104
BLECH! BORING!
THIS HAS BEEN FUN.

407
00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:13,373
I NEVER INTENDED
TO BE FAMOUS,

408
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:16,043
BUT I DO LIKE
BEING THE CENTER OF ATTENTION.

409
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:18,378
IT FEELS
JUST LIKE I THOUGHT IT WOULD --

410
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:21,214
TOTALLY FUCKING GREAT.

411
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,517
BUT IT'S GONNA GO AWAY.

412
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:25,552
HMM.

413
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:29,522
WELL, WE JUST GOT OFFERS

414
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:32,059
FROM VICTORIA NEWSOME
AND LITTLE BROWN,

415
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,193
BUT I THINK RANDOM HOUSE

416
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,028
IS GONNA BLOW THEM
OUT OF THE WATER.

417
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,029
RANDOM HOUSE?

418
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,730
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
THEY WERE --

419
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:40,367
DID I MISS THESE CALLS?
I DIDN'T SEE MESSAGES.

420
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,403
NO, I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS
WORTH BOTHERING YOU ABOUT.

421
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:44,704
SOME KAHLúA
WITH YOUR COFFEE?

422
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,706
WE SEEM TO BE ALL OUT
OF CHAMPAGNE.

423
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,675
I THINK THE TV PEOPLE
DRANK IT ALL

424
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:51,211
WHEN THEY SOLD "SLUT WARS"
INTO SYNDICATION.

425
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,046
NO.
NO, THANK YOU

426
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,248
DON'T MIND IF I DO.

427
00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:57,584
IT'S BEEN A GREAT RIDE,
CHARLIE RUNKLE.

428
00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:00,253
WE PROVED SEX
AND THE WORKPLACE CAN MIX.

429
00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:02,455
WE SUBVERTED
SOME DOMINANT PARADIGMS.

430
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:04,224
AND FROM
A FEMINIST STANDPOINT,

431
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,393
WE'RE ABOUT TO LAUNCH
A MAJOR FEMALE WRITER.

432
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,128
SHE WAS GREAT,
WASN'T SHE?

433
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:10,330
I MEAN, SHE WAS POISED,
SHE WAS FUNNY...

434
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,365
SHE HAD THEM
EATING OUT OF HER HAND

435
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,667
AND LOOKING UP HER SKIRT
AT THE SAME TIME.

436
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,669
YEAH,
THAT IS QUITE A FEAT.

437
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,139
THE GIRL'S GONNA SELL
FIVE MILLION COPIES

438
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:21,108
BASED ON
THE JACKET PHOTO ALONE.

439
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:24,277
AND DID YOU SEE HOW COMPLETELY
UNFAZED SHE WAS BY HANK?

440
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,446
I MEAN, NO OFFENSE,
HE'S A COOL GUY,

441
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,581
BUT IT WAS KIND OF
PATHETIC, RIGHT?

442
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:30,683
YEAH, UH, DANI,

443
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,153
I ACTUALLY HAVE A LITTLE BIT
OF A HEADACHE, YOU KNOW?

444
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,522
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA LIE DOWN
HERE FOR A WHILE.

445
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:36,523
OKAY.

446
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,192
YOU REST,
I'LL TAKE THE CALLS.

447
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,418
SO, HERE'S THE LAST
OF YOUR T-SHIRTS.

448
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,854
THANKS.

449
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:10,757
YOU KNOW, YOU CAN ALWAYS
BRING YOUR STUFF HOME,

450
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:13,526
UM, FOR ME TO WASH
ON THE WEEKENDS OR WHENEVER.

451
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,094
I KNOW.

452
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:18,131
'CAUSE YOUR DAD,
UM, YOU KNOW,

453
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:20,467
HE'LL PROBABLY
JUST BUY YOU NEW CLOTHES

454
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,135
WHEN THE OLD ONES
GET DIRTY.

455
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:23,670
THAT WOULD BE
HIS SOLUTION --

456
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:24,704
MOM, I KNOW.

457
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:30,210
YOU KNOW.

458
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,145
YEAH.

459
00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:33,313
HEY!

460
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:34,481
WOW!

461
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:37,584
SHIT, YOU'RE NOT
TAKING EVERYTHING, ARE YOU?

462
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,552
NO.
JUST THE ESSENTIALS.

463
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,924
I'M GONNA LET YOU GUYS --
GIVE HER A HAND, YEAH?

464
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,293
MOM?

465
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,560
YEAH?

466
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:48,661
YOU AND ME...

467
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:52,265
I WAS THINKING NEXT SATURDAY
WE COULD GO TO THE GETTY.

468
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:54,767
JUST US.

469
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,537
THAT'D BE GREAT.
I'D LOVE THAT, SWEETIE.

470
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:02,842
[ SIGHS ]
AND SO IT BEGINS.

471
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:05,245
THE NON-CUSTODIAL
PARENT TIME, HMM?

472
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,614
OH, HEY,
NOT THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON.

473
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,616
I MIGHT WANT
TO BORROW THAT ONE.

474
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,284
IT'S WAY TOO SMALL
FOR YOU.

475
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,220
UH, YEAH.
THAT'S WHY I LIKE IT.

476
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:14,487
WHATEVER.

477
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:17,590
HEY,
I WAS JUST TEASING.

478
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,792
THAT'S WHAT SISTERS DO,
YOU KNOW?

479
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,362
THEY BORROW CLOTHES,
TALK ABOUT BOYS,

480
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,597
CONSPIRE AGAINST
THE PARENTAL UNITS...

481
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,632
[ CHUCKLES ]

482
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:30,337
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT GONNA BE
ANY FUN HERE WITHOUT YOU.

483
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:31,671
WAS IT FUN BEFORE?

484
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:32,805
HMM, TRUE.

485
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,542
BUT, HEY, YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE
THAT PROBLEM ANYMORE

486
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:36,709
LIVING WITH YOUR DAD.

487
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,645
SURE.
IT'LL BE A HOOT.

488
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:42,215
LIKE TAKING KAFKA
TO THE THIRD STREET PROMENADE.

489
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:44,617
[ CHUCKLES ] YOU'RE NOT
EVEN EXCITED A LITTLE BIT?

490
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:45,952
I SUPPOSE.

491
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,421
WELL, SHIT,
I WOULD BE STOKED.

492
00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:51,224
'CAUSE YOUR DAD, I MEAN,
HE'S A RIOT.

493
00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:52,692
HE'S TOTALLY AWESOME.

494
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:55,562
I'M NOT GOING TO LIVE WITH
MY DAD BECAUSE IT'S FUN.

495
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,697
I'M GOING
BECAUSE I HAVE TO.

496
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,966
I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU'VE NOTICED,

497
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:02,435
BUT YOUR DAD
IS ABOUT TO MARRY MY MOM.

498
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:03,703
YEAH, SO?

499
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,372
SO IT'S REALLY HAPPENING.

500
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,807
HE CAN'T PRETEND ANYMORE
THAT IT'S NOT.

501
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,809
AND WHATEVER
MIRACULOUS THING

502
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:12,812
HE THOUGHT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN
WITH THE WRITING...

503
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:15,415
YOU KNOW, THAT THING HE WROTE
BACK HOME IN NEW YORK

504
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:17,750
THAT WAS GOING TO BE
THE REDEMPTION OF US ALL?

505
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:20,587
WELL, OBVIOUSLY,
THAT'S NOT HAPPENING, EITHER.

506
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,555
YEAH, I GUESS NOT.

507
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,491
SO IT'S OFFICIAL.

508
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,693
ROCK BOTTOM.

509
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,561
THE DEATH OF HOPE.

510
00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:30,897
CAN'T LEAVE HIM ALONE NOW.

511
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,999
THE MAN'S GOT NOTHING.

512
00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:36,403
WELL, THAT'S NOT
ENTIRELY TRUE.

513
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:39,272
HE'S GOT YOU.

514
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:43,776
WE SHOULD ALL BE SO LUCKY.

515
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,867
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

516
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,902
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

517
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:19,612
LOVED YOUR NEW NOVEL.

518
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:27,487
I KNEW
FROM THE FIRST PAGE.

519
00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:31,624
STRANGE, TOO.
IT WAS LIKE 1987.

520
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,460
I WENT TO THIS PARTY
WITH BRET EASTON ELLIS.

521
00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:35,094
I ASKED HIM WHO
THE GOOD YOUNG WRITERS WERE.

522
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,330
HE SHOWED ME
THAT SHORT STORY OF YOURS.

523
00:21:37,364 --> 00:21:39,332
I HAD THE SAME FEELING
WHEN I READ IT.

524
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:42,335
LIKE THIS PERSON AND I
ARE CONNECTED SOMEHOW.

525
00:21:42,369 --> 00:21:44,937
LIKE WE WERE GONNA DO
SOMETHING SPECIAL TOGETHER.

526
00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:48,541
WELL, I'M JUST OVERJOYED THAT
YOU SAW ME IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

527
00:21:48,575 --> 00:21:49,976
YOU'RE ALL OVER IT, PAL.

528
00:21:50,009 --> 00:21:51,844
BUT, LISTEN,
I GOT TO ASK,

529
00:21:51,878 --> 00:21:54,714
YOU KNOW, SINCE YOU ALWAYS
TEND TO WRITE

530
00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:56,383
EXACTLY WHAT YOU KNOW...

531
00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:01,854
WHAT'S THE FUCKIN' DEAL?

532
00:22:09,729 --> 00:22:13,099
YOU HAVE DONE SOME
FUCKED-UP SHIT IN YOUR TIME,

533
00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:15,768
BUT I DIDN'T THINK
YOU'D DO THAT.

534
00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:17,504
NOT KNOWINGLY.

535
00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:20,440
WHAT, SHE TRICKED YOU INTO IT?
I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE.

536
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,975
SHE WAS AT A BOOK STORE,
AND SHE WAS READING MY BOOK.

537
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:25,845
YOU KNOW, THAT'S ALWAYS A GREAT
CONVERSATION STARTER FOR ME,

538
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:28,681
AND SHE WAS CUTE AND FLIRTY,
I WAS HALF IN THE BAG, ANYWAY.

539
00:22:28,715 --> 00:22:30,583
I WAS JUST RIGHT
FOR THAT MOMENT.

540
00:22:30,617 --> 00:22:33,019
THE SELF-LOATHING
WAS STRONG IN ME THAT NIGHT.

541
00:22:33,052 --> 00:22:35,121
I DIDN'T KNOW
SHE WAS BILL'S DAUGHTER,

542
00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:37,023
AND I THOUGHT
SHE WAS IN COLLEGE.

543
00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:39,592
YOU KNOW, MAYBE OLDER.

544
00:22:39,626 --> 00:22:41,060
I WAS WRONG.

545
00:22:41,093 --> 00:22:43,463
JESUS CHRIST.

546
00:22:43,496 --> 00:22:46,065
HOW'D WE GET OURSELVES
INTO THIS ONE?

547
00:22:46,098 --> 00:22:48,000
THANK YOU
FOR SAYING "WE."

548
00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:51,504
LOOK, I'LL DO WHATEVER
YOU WANT ME TO DO, YOU KNOW?

549
00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:54,907
I'LL TAKE IT OFF THE COUNTER,
YOU -- YOU SAY THE WORD.

550
00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:56,776
ARE THERE OFFERS?

551
00:22:56,809 --> 00:22:57,777
MANY.

552
00:22:57,810 --> 00:22:58,978
WELL,
THEN I'M FUCKED.

553
00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:00,079
IF I SAY ANYTHING,

554
00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:02,081
IF I DO ANYTHING
ABOUT THIS SHIT,

555
00:23:02,114 --> 00:23:04,517
THERE'S NO TELLING
WHAT SHE'S GONNA DO.

556
00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:06,453
THERE'S NO STOPPING HER
FROM TELLING KAREN

557
00:23:06,486 --> 00:23:08,020
OR BILL OR BECCA.

558
00:23:08,054 --> 00:23:10,590
FUCK.
THE POLICE.

559
00:23:10,623 --> 00:23:12,559
FUCK THE POLICE.

560
00:23:12,592 --> 00:23:14,594
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

561
00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:16,696
EXPECTING SOMEONE?

562
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:18,698
[ DOOR OPENS ]

563
00:23:22,469 --> 00:23:23,636
WAIT.

564
00:23:23,670 --> 00:23:26,439
LET ME GET THAT.

565
00:23:29,642 --> 00:23:31,210
GOOD EVENING, LADIES.
Karen: HEY.

566
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,513
I SHOULD GET GOING.
CALL ME LATER?

567
00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:35,181
I WILL.
FOUR SEASONS.

568
00:23:36,182 --> 00:23:37,617
GOOD NIGHT.
NIGHT.

569
00:23:39,185 --> 00:23:41,521
[ SMOOCHES ]
HMM.

570
00:23:42,655 --> 00:23:44,557
I'M GONNA GO
PUT MY STUFF DOWN.

571
00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:45,592
SURE.

572
00:23:49,696 --> 00:23:51,230
I'M SORRY.

573
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:53,666
ABOUT WHAT?

574
00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:55,568
YOU WON.

575
00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:59,739
NOT IF YOU'RE THIS UPSET.
I DIDN'T WIN A GODDAMN THING.

576
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:02,475
I HATE
SEEING YOU THIS SAD.

577
00:24:02,509 --> 00:24:04,577
EVER.

578
00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:06,979
EXCEPT MAYBE
AFTER SEX WITH BILL.

579
00:24:07,013 --> 00:24:09,015
HMM?
THAT'S A SMILE.

580
00:24:09,048 --> 00:24:11,884
A SMALL SMILE,
BUT A SMILE NONETHELESS.

581
00:24:11,918 --> 00:24:12,952
I'LL TAKE IT.

582
00:24:12,985 --> 00:24:15,755
DON'T WORRY, MOM.
I'LL BE FINE.

583
00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:16,556
I KNOW.

584
00:24:16,589 --> 00:24:18,825
AND IT'S NOT YOU
I'M WORRIED ABOUT.

585
00:24:18,858 --> 00:24:20,627
Becca: I KNOW.

586
00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:22,695
BUT FIRST OF ALL,
THIS IS NOT GOODBYE.

587
00:24:22,729 --> 00:24:25,665
JUST THINK OF IT
AS ME ON THE ROAD WITH THE BAND,

588
00:24:25,698 --> 00:24:27,667
PLAYING
A FEW OUT-OF-TOWN GIGS.

589
00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:30,169
PLUS, YOU GET
A BREAK FROM MY NOISY GUITAR.

590
00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:33,773
YEAH, BUT I LOVE
YOUR NOISY GUITAR.

591
00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:35,875
I WOULD SAY, YOU KNOW,
"TAKE CARE OF HER,"

592
00:24:35,908 --> 00:24:38,645
BUT I THINK SHE'S PROBABLY
GONNA TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOU.

593
00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:40,179
I DON'T DISAGREE.

594
00:24:40,212 --> 00:24:43,015
CALL ME
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, OKAY?

595
00:24:43,049 --> 00:24:45,618
[ Voice breaking ]
ANYTHING AT ALL.

596
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:49,088
I LOVE YOU, HONEY.

597
00:24:49,121 --> 00:24:50,790
I LOVE YOU, TOO.

598
00:24:53,125 --> 00:24:54,761
[ DOOR CLOSES ]

599
00:24:54,794 --> 00:24:57,630
SHE'S HIGHLY EMOTIONAL,
THAT ONE.

600
00:24:57,664 --> 00:25:00,166
ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE.

601
00:25:01,701 --> 00:25:04,103
Man on television: IN EXCHANGE,
THEY'VE GIVEN THEIR WORD

602
00:25:04,136 --> 00:25:07,774
THEY WILL ONLY FIGHT AL-QAEDA.

603
00:25:07,807 --> 00:25:10,877
TAKE A PICTURE.
IT'LL LAST LONGER.

604
00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:12,011
[ GROWLS ]

605
00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:13,179
[ SMOOCHES ]

606
00:25:13,212 --> 00:25:14,614
[ CHUCKLES ]

607
00:25:14,647 --> 00:25:16,616
ARE YOU OKAY?

608
00:25:16,649 --> 00:25:17,817
YOU SEEM DEPRESSED.

609
00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:20,219
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
LIKE MORE THAN USUAL?

610
00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:21,287
YES.

611
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,723
I SENSE THESE THINGS.

612
00:25:23,756 --> 00:25:26,292
OH, YEAH?

613
00:25:26,325 --> 00:25:28,060
I'M PEACHY.

614
00:25:30,863 --> 00:25:32,865
TRUST ME.

615
00:25:35,735 --> 00:25:37,737
[ SNORING ]

616
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:44,577
[ SIGHS ]

617
00:26:00,326 --> 00:26:03,295
HEY, BILL.

618
00:26:03,329 --> 00:26:05,598
HEY, HONEY.
BILL?

619
00:26:05,632 --> 00:26:08,034
[ SNORES, GRUNTS SOFTLY ]

620
00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:29,015
[ LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS ]

621
00:27:30,817 --> 00:27:33,986
-- Captions by VITAC --
www.vitac.com

622
00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:36,455
CLOSED CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY
SHOWTIME NETWORKS

623
00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:39,191
AND BLIND DECKER PRODUCTIONS