1
00:00:00,408 --> 00:00:02,193
Oh, look,
Saturn 3 is on.
2
00:00:02,313 --> 00:00:05,056
I don't want to watch Saturn 3.
Deep Space Nine is better.
3
00:00:05,860 --> 00:00:08,511
How is Deep Space Nine
better than Saturn 3?
4
00:00:09,721 --> 00:00:12,223
Simple subtraction
will tell you it's six better.
5
00:00:14,511 --> 00:00:16,251
Compromise. Watch Babylon 5.
6
00:00:18,095 --> 00:00:20,190
In what sense is that a compromise?
7
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:23,609
Well, five is partway
between three... Never mind.
8
00:00:25,105 --> 00:00:27,530
I'll tell you what.
How about we go rock-paper-scissors?
9
00:00:28,131 --> 00:00:29,247
I don't think so.
10
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,489
Anecdotal evidence suggests
that in the game of rock-paper-scissors,
11
00:00:32,609 --> 00:00:36,148
players familiar with each other
will tie 75 to 80% of the time
12
00:00:36,268 --> 00:00:38,291
due to the limited number
of outcomes.
13
00:00:38,562 --> 00:00:41,680
I suggest
rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock.
14
00:00:43,871 --> 00:00:45,676
- What?
- It's very simple.
15
00:00:46,687 --> 00:00:48,919
Scissors cuts paper.
Paper covers rock.
16
00:00:49,039 --> 00:00:51,414
Rock crushes lizard.
Lizard poisons Spock.
17
00:00:51,811 --> 00:00:54,472
Spock smashes scissors.
Scissors decapitates lizard.
18
00:00:54,592 --> 00:00:56,820
Lizard eats paper.
Paper disproves Spock.
19
00:00:56,940 --> 00:00:58,377
Spock vaporizes rock.
20
00:00:58,721 --> 00:01:01,421
And as it always has,
rock crushes scissors.
21
00:01:04,514 --> 00:01:06,061
Okay, I think I got it.
22
00:01:08,574 --> 00:01:10,626
Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock!
23
00:01:18,820 --> 00:01:19,873
Hello, boys.
24
00:01:21,226 --> 00:01:22,516
Ahoy, matey.
25
00:01:24,028 --> 00:01:25,716
Noticed the eye patch, did you?
26
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:29,423
It's all part of a technique
I've been studying for picking up women.
27
00:01:29,543 --> 00:01:31,219
You employ a visual display
28
00:01:32,138 --> 00:01:35,210
designed to make yourself
distinctive and memorable.
29
00:01:36,088 --> 00:01:39,129
Oh, yes, like the male peacock
with brilliant plumage
30
00:01:39,249 --> 00:01:41,951
or the rutting baboon
with engorged hindquarters.
31
00:01:43,252 --> 00:01:46,002
Or in this case,
the bar mitzvah boy with pinkeye.
32
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,156
Mock me if you will,
but it works.
33
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,327
You show up at a club
in something distinctive,
34
00:01:51,447 --> 00:01:53,544
scope out your target
and toss out some negs.
35
00:01:53,664 --> 00:01:56,096
- What are negs?
- A neg is a negative compliment
36
00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,079
that throws a pretty woman
off her game,
37
00:01:58,289 --> 00:02:01,471
like "Normally,
I'm not turned on by big teeth,
38
00:02:01,591 --> 00:02:03,127
but on you, they work."
39
00:02:04,797 --> 00:02:07,505
I got a whole list of 'em.
Who wants to be my wingman?
40
00:02:07,949 --> 00:02:11,286
You're not gonna need a wingman.
You're gonna need a paramedic.
41
00:02:12,356 --> 00:02:14,258
Your scooter's blocking my car.
42
00:02:15,172 --> 00:02:16,805
Did you get pinkeye again?
43
00:02:19,458 --> 00:02:21,478
Step one:
she notices the eye patch.
44
00:02:23,013 --> 00:02:24,064
May I say, Penny,
45
00:02:24,184 --> 00:02:26,369
not a lot of women
could look as hot as you do
46
00:02:26,489 --> 00:02:27,979
with such greasy hair?
47
00:02:36,147 --> 00:02:37,639
Just move your stupid scooter
48
00:02:37,759 --> 00:02:40,331
before I pick it up
and throw it in the dumpster.
49
00:03:04,105 --> 00:03:05,563
Subtitles: sub-way.fr
50
00:03:11,476 --> 00:03:14,715
I'm sorry, but I'm not going
to watch The Clone Wars TV series
51
00:03:14,835 --> 00:03:17,023
until I've seen
The Clone Wars movie.
52
00:03:18,789 --> 00:03:22,385
I prefer to let George Lucas
disappoint me in the order he intended.
53
00:03:24,213 --> 00:03:25,707
I want to watch it now.
54
00:03:26,049 --> 00:03:28,800
Then I believe we've arrived
at another quintessential
55
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:31,292
rock-paper-scissors-
lizard-Spock moment.
56
00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:38,670
Watch whatever you want.
57
00:03:39,824 --> 00:03:41,464
I saw what you did there.
58
00:03:42,572 --> 00:03:43,685
What'd I do?
59
00:03:51,539 --> 00:03:52,656
What's wrong?
60
00:03:54,608 --> 00:03:56,915
- Okay, we'll be right there.
- What happened?
61
00:03:57,035 --> 00:03:59,492
Howard's at the Mars Rover lab.
He says he's in trouble.
62
00:03:59,652 --> 00:04:00,683
Defcon 5.
63
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:01,945
Defcon 5?
64
00:04:02,203 --> 00:04:04,104
Well, there's no need to rush.
65
00:04:05,362 --> 00:04:07,694
- What?
- Defcon 5 means "no danger."
66
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,265
Defcon 1 is a crisis.
67
00:04:09,808 --> 00:04:11,755
How can 5
not be worse than 1?
68
00:04:12,323 --> 00:04:13,757
Star Trek V worse than I.
69
00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:19,022
First of all, that's a comparison
of quality, not intensity.
70
00:04:19,142 --> 00:04:21,956
Secondly, Star Trek I
is orders-of-magnitude worse
71
00:04:22,076 --> 00:04:23,419
than Star Trek V.
72
00:04:23,885 --> 00:04:26,112
Are you joking?
Star Trek V is the standard
73
00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:28,232
against which all badness
is measured.
74
00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:29,272
No, no.
75
00:04:30,195 --> 00:04:33,094
Star Trek V has specific failures
in writing and direction,
76
00:04:33,214 --> 00:04:35,096
while Star Trek I
fails across the board:
77
00:04:35,216 --> 00:04:37,832
art direction, costuming,
music, sound editing.
78
00:04:38,808 --> 00:04:41,139
Can we just forget I said Defcon
and go?
79
00:04:42,971 --> 00:04:44,077
Star Trek V.
80
00:04:47,063 --> 00:04:48,516
Will you at least stipulate
81
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:51,742
that Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
is inarguably the best?
82
00:04:52,207 --> 00:04:55,090
I have three words for you:
Wrath of Khan.
83
00:04:56,326 --> 00:04:58,301
- Thank God, you're here.
- What's the emergency?
84
00:04:58,636 --> 00:05:00,870
I got the Mars Rover
stuck in a ditch.
85
00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:02,870
Where?
86
00:05:02,990 --> 00:05:05,305
On a dusty highway
just outside Bakersfield.
87
00:05:05,425 --> 00:05:07,232
Where do you think?
On Mars!
88
00:05:08,388 --> 00:05:09,521
Is everything okay?
89
00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:11,749
Yeah, baby, I'll be right in.
90
00:05:14,018 --> 00:05:16,194
You brought a girl
to the Mars Rover control room?
91
00:05:16,497 --> 00:05:18,962
Yeah, I picked her up in the bar.
She's a doctor.
92
00:05:19,082 --> 00:05:20,410
One free barium enema,
93
00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:22,742
and my mother won't care
she's not Jewish.
94
00:05:24,486 --> 00:05:26,871
Wait a minute.
So the eye patch and the insults worked?
95
00:05:27,043 --> 00:05:30,500
No, there were three other guys
with eye patches. It was a fiasco.
96
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:36,047
What did work was, "How'd you like
to visit a secret government facility?"
97
00:05:36,276 --> 00:05:38,205
So what exactly
do you want us to do?
98
00:05:38,376 --> 00:05:40,385
You and Raj help me
get the Rover out of the ditch
99
00:05:40,505 --> 00:05:42,793
and you get Stephanie out
before somebody notices her.
100
00:05:42,913 --> 00:05:44,844
- She doesn't exactly have clearance.
- Really?
101
00:05:44,964 --> 00:05:46,974
They don't let strange
women from honky-tonks
102
00:05:47,094 --> 00:05:50,520
come in and play with $200 million
government projects on distant planets?
103
00:05:50,974 --> 00:05:53,368
Yes, I was bad.
Maybe she'll spank me.
104
00:05:53,488 --> 00:05:54,733
Can we please move on?
105
00:05:56,828 --> 00:06:00,155
It's getting late,
so do I get to drive this thing or what?
106
00:06:00,891 --> 00:06:03,133
No. I'm sorry,
but something's come up.
107
00:06:03,253 --> 00:06:04,821
Kind of a Mars Rover...
108
00:06:05,444 --> 00:06:08,149
Mars Rover
can Howard come over...
109
00:06:11,207 --> 00:06:12,208
situation.
110
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,922
So my friend Leonard
is gonna take you home.
111
00:06:17,849 --> 00:06:19,591
Okay. Let's go, friend Leonard.
112
00:06:20,905 --> 00:06:23,817
- I'll call ya.
- So are you a scientist like Howard?
113
00:06:24,174 --> 00:06:26,229
No one's a scientist like Howard.
114
00:06:28,102 --> 00:06:29,961
My mother is so gonna love her.
115
00:06:30,386 --> 00:06:34,107
How nice. Maybe they can carpool
when they visit you in federal prison.
116
00:06:41,138 --> 00:06:43,488
I'm sorry.
I totally interrupted you.
117
00:06:43,608 --> 00:06:44,866
What were you saying?
118
00:06:45,063 --> 00:06:47,047
Just said Howard's a terrific guy.
119
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:50,968
He's got a great sense of humor.
120
00:06:51,871 --> 00:06:53,357
He loves his mother...
121
00:06:53,571 --> 00:06:54,581
a lot.
122
00:06:54,701 --> 00:06:56,294
People say "too much."
123
00:06:57,303 --> 00:06:59,214
I really like
that you're such a loyal friend.
124
00:06:59,530 --> 00:07:01,034
Yeah, I am loyal.
125
00:07:01,985 --> 00:07:03,760
If you look at the big picture.
126
00:07:08,838 --> 00:07:11,851
Out of curiosity,
did he ever have a shot with you?
127
00:07:12,193 --> 00:07:14,911
Are you insane?
The guy was wearing an eye patch.
128
00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:17,191
Then why did you...?
129
00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:19,844
He said that I could drive a car...
on Mars.
130
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,400
Got it.
131
00:07:24,507 --> 00:07:26,153
So, can I see you again?
132
00:07:26,962 --> 00:07:28,724
You're not gonna see me now.
133
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:32,920
Cool.
134
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,255
Anything?
135
00:07:41,218 --> 00:07:43,570
Actually, I was just
checking my e-mail.
136
00:07:44,502 --> 00:07:47,192
But, no,
the Rover is not responding.
137
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:51,122
I believe the appropriate metaphor here
involves a river of excrement
138
00:07:51,242 --> 00:07:54,784
and a Native American water vessel
without any means of propulsion.
139
00:07:55,438 --> 00:07:57,829
Hang on.
There's got to be other options.
140
00:07:58,046 --> 00:07:59,790
You could try calling Triple-A.
141
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:04,154
But based on NASA's latest timetable,
they won't get there for 35 years.
142
00:08:05,447 --> 00:08:07,230
Plus I understand
you have to be standing
143
00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:09,928
next to the vehicle
with your card when they arrive.
144
00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,012
Oh, snap.
145
00:08:12,861 --> 00:08:13,861
Snap what?
146
00:08:15,492 --> 00:08:17,834
- I guess we have to turn to Plan B.
- What's Plan B?
147
00:08:17,994 --> 00:08:19,794
Erase hard drives,
scrap surveillance tapes,
148
00:08:19,984 --> 00:08:22,510
wipe our fingerprints
off every surface and run.
149
00:08:22,863 --> 00:08:24,420
Why wasn't that Plan A?
150
00:08:27,454 --> 00:08:30,373
A NASA spokesman states
that due to the loss of data,
151
00:08:30,493 --> 00:08:33,315
they will most likely be unable
to determine the cause
152
00:08:33,435 --> 00:08:35,389
of the Mars Rover's malfunction.
153
00:08:38,555 --> 00:08:40,209
Thank God for Plan B.
154
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,786
Didn't you say
you worked on the Mars Rover?
155
00:08:44,906 --> 00:08:46,286
No, you're mistaken.
156
00:08:47,565 --> 00:08:48,756
When we first met,
157
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:51,660
you said that if I went out with you,
I could drive a car on Mars.
158
00:08:54,354 --> 00:08:56,663
I don't know
what you're talking about.
159
00:09:00,537 --> 00:09:02,735
Will you all excuse me?
Leonard is subtly signaling
160
00:09:02,855 --> 00:09:05,257
that he'd like
to talk to me in private.
161
00:09:06,985 --> 00:09:09,126
No. I remember specifically.
162
00:09:09,246 --> 00:09:11,297
You started by asking
if I was from Mars
163
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:13,604
because my ass
was out of this world.
164
00:09:16,831 --> 00:09:18,895
That does sound like me,
but no.
165
00:09:20,359 --> 00:09:21,823
Is there some problem?
166
00:09:22,716 --> 00:09:25,527
Listen, I have to kinda
sneak out for a while.
167
00:09:26,220 --> 00:09:28,283
- All right, good-bye.
- No, wait!
168
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:31,873
If anyone asks you where I went,
you don't know.
169
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,807
- Where are you going?
- I can't tell you that.
170
00:09:35,827 --> 00:09:37,106
Who would ask me?
171
00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,351
I can't tell you that, either.
172
00:09:41,544 --> 00:09:44,421
You brought me in here to inform me
you can't tell me where you're going
173
00:09:44,735 --> 00:09:46,959
and you can't tell me
who might ask?
174
00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:51,413
Yeah, I really didn't
think this through.
175
00:09:53,656 --> 00:09:55,467
- Leonard, a moment.
- What?
176
00:09:55,773 --> 00:09:58,145
If someone, and of course,
we don't know who this would be,
177
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,645
does ask where you've gone,
what should I say?
178
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,023
I don't know.
Just tell 'em I went to the office.
179
00:10:03,183 --> 00:10:04,983
- Are you going to the office?
- No.
180
00:10:05,248 --> 00:10:06,943
Then how can I say it convincingly?
181
00:10:07,425 --> 00:10:09,321
Just say,
"Leonard went to the office."
182
00:10:09,655 --> 00:10:12,727
All right.
Leonard went to the office.
183
00:10:18,246 --> 00:10:20,456
What is...? No, not like that!
184
00:10:20,618 --> 00:10:23,326
- Just, "Leonard went to the office."
- It would've worked out a lot better
185
00:10:23,446 --> 00:10:25,670
if you'd just told me
you were going to the office.
186
00:10:26,211 --> 00:10:27,782
I'm going to the office.
187
00:10:28,116 --> 00:10:29,799
See? Why don't I believe you?
188
00:10:35,398 --> 00:10:36,892
I'm going out for a while.
189
00:10:47,806 --> 00:10:50,403
Doesn't anyone want to know
where he's going?
190
00:10:52,406 --> 00:10:53,740
Okay, where is he going?
191
00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:56,128
Leonard is going to the office.
192
00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:12,725
- So how was work today?
- Busy.
193
00:11:13,111 --> 00:11:14,844
I removed an appendix,
a gall bladder
194
00:11:15,004 --> 00:11:17,111
and about a foot
and a half of bowel.
195
00:11:18,633 --> 00:11:20,984
I'm hoping that was
three different guys.
196
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:23,860
No, just the one.
197
00:11:25,656 --> 00:11:26,854
He didn't make it.
198
00:11:28,810 --> 00:11:30,151
So, how was your day?
199
00:11:31,288 --> 00:11:34,259
You know, I'm a physicist, so...
I thought about stuff.
200
00:11:36,336 --> 00:11:37,200
That's it?
201
00:11:38,042 --> 00:11:39,806
I wrote some of it down.
202
00:11:41,448 --> 00:11:43,153
- Are you done eating?
- Yeah.
203
00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:44,580
Good.
204
00:11:48,162 --> 00:11:51,289
If I knew you were waiting,
I would've swallowed that lasagna whole.
205
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:57,412
You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.
Leave a message.
206
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,511
It's me again, Howard.
207
00:12:00,631 --> 00:12:01,872
If you're free Friday,
208
00:12:01,992 --> 00:12:04,410
maybe we could have
a little something to eat at my place.
209
00:12:04,530 --> 00:12:06,447
My mom cooks a hell of a brisket.
210
00:12:08,393 --> 00:12:09,469
Let me know.
211
00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:10,968
It's Howard.
212
00:12:13,295 --> 00:12:15,488
I've had her brisket.
Melts in your mouth.
213
00:12:20,302 --> 00:12:23,165
Maybe we should think
about going to the bedroom.
214
00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:24,539
Good idea.
215
00:12:24,699 --> 00:12:27,742
There's a bed in there,
and I'm very, very, very pro-bed.
216
00:12:30,925 --> 00:12:33,890
You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.
Leave a message.
217
00:12:35,059 --> 00:12:36,544
Hey, it's me again.
218
00:12:37,676 --> 00:12:39,060
Just want to let you know
219
00:12:39,180 --> 00:12:41,973
the head count for dinner Friday
has gone up.
220
00:12:42,414 --> 00:12:46,100
My Aunt Betty and Uncle Elliot
are coming in from Palm Springs.
221
00:12:46,888 --> 00:12:48,132
If anybody should ask,
222
00:12:48,252 --> 00:12:50,508
you're half-Jewish
on your mother's side.
223
00:12:51,743 --> 00:12:52,883
Okay, call me.
224
00:12:53,591 --> 00:12:54,784
It's Howard.
225
00:12:56,836 --> 00:12:59,282
Don't you think we should tell him
you're not interested?
226
00:13:00,224 --> 00:13:03,127
Do you want me to stop
and call him back right now?
227
00:13:03,247 --> 00:13:04,494
Dear God, no!
228
00:13:13,062 --> 00:13:15,630
You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.
Leave a message.
229
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:18,288
Hey, it's me again.
230
00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:24,540
My cousins from Fort Lauderdale
are flying in to meet you
231
00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:26,776
so that means we're gonna
have to move the dinner
232
00:13:26,896 --> 00:13:28,212
to a restaurant.
233
00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:31,552
Tell her we're going
to the Olive Garden!
234
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,539
I have a coupon from the paper.
235
00:13:36,622 --> 00:13:39,810
We're not going
to the Olive Garden, Ma!
236
00:13:41,214 --> 00:13:44,219
Mr. Bigshot with his Red Lobster.
237
00:13:46,357 --> 00:13:48,693
I'll call you back
when we firm up the details.
238
00:13:50,408 --> 00:13:51,464
It's Howard.
239
00:13:59,095 --> 00:14:00,640
- New shirts?
- Yeah, a couple.
240
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,100
- Nice.
- Thank you.
241
00:14:02,465 --> 00:14:03,826
So, who's the girl?
242
00:14:06,024 --> 00:14:06,850
I'm sorry?
243
00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:09,811
Well, last time you bought a new shirt
was when we were dating.
244
00:14:09,972 --> 00:14:12,207
So what we did
was in fact dating?
245
00:14:14,681 --> 00:14:16,651
Well, yeah, we did have a date.
246
00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,153
Exactly. Thank you.
247
00:14:19,885 --> 00:14:22,532
Do me a favor, tell Koothrappali that
next time you see him.
248
00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:25,660
So, who is she?
249
00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,137
- She's a doctor.
- Nice.
250
00:14:29,431 --> 00:14:31,878
A doctor doctor,
or a you kind of doctor?
251
00:14:33,036 --> 00:14:34,002
Doctor doctor.
252
00:14:34,162 --> 00:14:35,469
Surgical resident.
253
00:14:35,893 --> 00:14:37,052
Smart, pretty.
254
00:14:39,761 --> 00:14:41,368
Let me ask you something.
255
00:14:42,671 --> 00:14:44,930
If your friend thinks
he's dating someone,
256
00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:47,638
but he's not because, in fact,
you're dating her,
257
00:14:47,758 --> 00:14:49,517
does that make you a bad person?
258
00:14:49,999 --> 00:14:51,728
- That depends.
- On what?
259
00:14:52,173 --> 00:14:53,716
Is that friend Wolowitz?
260
00:14:56,601 --> 00:14:57,901
Screw him. You're fine.
261
00:15:00,863 --> 00:15:01,988
Are you sure?
262
00:15:02,281 --> 00:15:04,282
Well, have you slept
with her yet?
263
00:15:06,128 --> 00:15:07,430
You dog!
264
00:15:09,563 --> 00:15:10,789
Good for you.
265
00:15:11,406 --> 00:15:13,340
- Does that change things?
- No.
266
00:15:14,995 --> 00:15:16,795
- So why'd you ask?
- I'm nosy.
267
00:15:17,391 --> 00:15:18,391
See ya.
268
00:15:24,016 --> 00:15:26,229
Howard, get the door!
269
00:15:28,017 --> 00:15:30,616
Really? Is that what you do
when someone knocks?!
270
00:15:30,736 --> 00:15:32,667
Thank you. I had no idea!
271
00:15:35,719 --> 00:15:38,983
Hey, buddy. What brings you
to my little slice of hell?
272
00:15:40,019 --> 00:15:41,237
Who is it?!
273
00:15:41,826 --> 00:15:43,071
It's Leonard!
274
00:15:43,232 --> 00:15:45,765
You're gonna have to play outside!
275
00:15:45,885 --> 00:15:48,270
I'm not dressed to receive!
276
00:15:49,627 --> 00:15:51,373
No one cares, Ma!
277
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:52,977
So, what's up?
278
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,751
Listen, I need to talk to you
about something.
279
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:00,714
Momentito.
280
00:16:01,757 --> 00:16:02,757
Yello.
281
00:16:04,127 --> 00:16:06,428
Thanks for calling me back.
I was worried...
282
00:16:18,997 --> 00:16:20,615
No, I understand.
283
00:16:20,735 --> 00:16:22,651
Sure, we can be friends.
Absolutely.
284
00:16:22,812 --> 00:16:24,114
Thanks for calling.
285
00:16:24,856 --> 00:16:26,491
You have a nice day, too.
286
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:29,743
You are dead to me.
287
00:16:36,114 --> 00:16:37,994
Who gets the extra dumpling?
288
00:16:43,205 --> 00:16:45,258
Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock.
289
00:16:48,755 --> 00:16:51,449
Okay, one of us is going to have
to stop putting up Spock.
290
00:16:51,957 --> 00:16:53,183
How do we decide that?
291
00:16:59,256 --> 00:17:00,941
- Hey, guys.
- Hello.
292
00:17:02,478 --> 00:17:03,360
Hi, Howard.
293
00:17:09,517 --> 00:17:11,874
Howard is employing
a schoolyard paradigm
294
00:17:11,994 --> 00:17:14,931
in which you are,
for all intents and purposes, deceased.
295
00:17:16,533 --> 00:17:19,169
He intends to act on this
by not speaking to you,
296
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,522
feigning an inability to hear you
when you speak
297
00:17:21,642 --> 00:17:24,431
and otherwise refusing
to acknowledge your existence.
298
00:17:25,304 --> 00:17:27,717
That's just ridiculous.
Why are you cooperating with him?
299
00:17:28,145 --> 00:17:30,220
I don't make the rules, Leonard.
300
00:17:32,074 --> 00:17:34,391
Howard, come on.
I didn't plan on this.
301
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:35,952
These things just happen.
302
00:17:36,072 --> 00:17:38,409
Usually not to me,
but they do happen.
303
00:17:40,166 --> 00:17:42,359
Did someone just feel
a cold breeze?
304
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,902
I believe this is an extension
of the death metaphor.
305
00:17:46,910 --> 00:17:49,464
The cold breeze is the so-called
ectoplasmic issue
306
00:17:49,584 --> 00:17:51,408
of a disembodied soul passing by.
307
00:17:53,009 --> 00:17:55,202
Screw it.
I'm just gonna eat the dumpling.
308
00:18:01,661 --> 00:18:03,544
- Come on in.
- Is this a bad time?
309
00:18:03,710 --> 00:18:05,839
Yes, but I don't see
a better one on the horizon.
310
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,830
If it isn't Mrs. Dead to Me.
311
00:18:13,773 --> 00:18:15,925
I'm sorry, you violated
the terms of your metaphor
312
00:18:16,045 --> 00:18:18,139
by acknowledging her existence.
I'm out.
313
00:18:20,137 --> 00:18:21,843
He just won't listen to me.
314
00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:24,758
Okay, I guess it'll just be
the three of us then.
315
00:18:25,589 --> 00:18:27,233
Lisa's gonna be disappointed.
316
00:18:27,968 --> 00:18:28,968
Lisa?
317
00:18:29,999 --> 00:18:32,498
My roommate. She just went through
a really bad breakup,
318
00:18:32,618 --> 00:18:35,327
I thought she might like
to meet somebody fun like you.
319
00:18:36,708 --> 00:18:38,685
Leonard, Stephanie,
you're alive!
320
00:18:38,805 --> 00:18:40,002
It's a miracle!
321
00:18:43,077 --> 00:18:45,450
So, anyway, Lisa,
I just wanted to tell you again
322
00:18:45,570 --> 00:18:47,412
how much I enjoyed the other night,
323
00:18:47,532 --> 00:18:49,757
and again,
I'm sorry for how it ended.
324
00:18:52,169 --> 00:18:54,433
But again, if you could
let me know about Friday.
325
00:18:54,553 --> 00:18:55,974
My mother needs a head count
326
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:58,208
so she can know
how big a brisket to get.
327
00:18:59,414 --> 00:19:00,809
Howard, look at this.
328
00:19:00,970 --> 00:19:02,074
Anyway, call me.
329
00:19:02,379 --> 00:19:03,435
It's Howard.
330
00:19:05,619 --> 00:19:08,360
It's unclear how the Mars Rover
got into the crevice,
331
00:19:08,776 --> 00:19:10,272
but one thing's certain:
332
00:19:10,392 --> 00:19:11,905
the data which it has sent back
333
00:19:12,243 --> 00:19:14,219
contain the first clear indications
334
00:19:14,339 --> 00:19:16,568
that there may have been
life on Mars.
335
00:19:18,651 --> 00:19:20,205
It's a scientific discovery
336
00:19:20,366 --> 00:19:23,065
that has staggering implications
for all mankind.
337
00:19:23,511 --> 00:19:26,699
Unfortunately, we'll never know
who's responsible.
338
00:19:32,256 --> 00:19:33,758
Son of a bitch.