1 00:00:00,408 --> 00:00:02,193 Oh, look, Saturn 3 is on. 2 00:00:02,313 --> 00:00:05,056 I don't want to watch Saturn 3. Deep Space Nine is better. 3 00:00:05,860 --> 00:00:08,511 How is Deep Space Nine better than Saturn 3? 4 00:00:09,721 --> 00:00:12,223 Simple subtraction will tell you it's six better. 5 00:00:14,511 --> 00:00:16,251 Compromise. Watch Babylon 5. 6 00:00:18,095 --> 00:00:20,190 In what sense is that a compromise? 7 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:23,609 Well, five is partway between three... Never mind. 8 00:00:25,105 --> 00:00:27,530 I'll tell you what. How about we go rock-paper-scissors? 9 00:00:28,131 --> 00:00:29,247 I don't think so. 10 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,489 Anecdotal evidence suggests that in the game of rock-paper-scissors, 11 00:00:32,609 --> 00:00:36,148 players familiar with each other will tie 75 to 80% of the time 12 00:00:36,268 --> 00:00:38,291 due to the limited number of outcomes. 13 00:00:38,562 --> 00:00:41,680 I suggest rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock. 14 00:00:43,871 --> 00:00:45,676 - What? - It's very simple. 15 00:00:46,687 --> 00:00:48,919 Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. 16 00:00:49,039 --> 00:00:51,414 Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. 17 00:00:51,811 --> 00:00:54,472 Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. 18 00:00:54,592 --> 00:00:56,820 Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. 19 00:00:56,940 --> 00:00:58,377 Spock vaporizes rock. 20 00:00:58,721 --> 00:01:01,421 And as it always has, rock crushes scissors. 21 00:01:04,514 --> 00:01:06,061 Okay, I think I got it. 22 00:01:08,574 --> 00:01:10,626 Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock! 23 00:01:18,820 --> 00:01:19,873 Hello, boys. 24 00:01:21,226 --> 00:01:22,516 Ahoy, matey. 25 00:01:24,028 --> 00:01:25,716 Noticed the eye patch, did you? 26 00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:29,423 It's all part of a technique I've been studying for picking up women. 27 00:01:29,543 --> 00:01:31,219 You employ a visual display 28 00:01:32,138 --> 00:01:35,210 designed to make yourself distinctive and memorable. 29 00:01:36,088 --> 00:01:39,129 Oh, yes, like the male peacock with brilliant plumage 30 00:01:39,249 --> 00:01:41,951 or the rutting baboon with engorged hindquarters. 31 00:01:43,252 --> 00:01:46,002 Or in this case, the bar mitzvah boy with pinkeye. 32 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,156 Mock me if you will, but it works. 33 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,327 You show up at a club in something distinctive, 34 00:01:51,447 --> 00:01:53,544 scope out your target and toss out some negs. 35 00:01:53,664 --> 00:01:56,096 - What are negs? - A neg is a negative compliment 36 00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,079 that throws a pretty woman off her game, 37 00:01:58,289 --> 00:02:01,471 like "Normally, I'm not turned on by big teeth, 38 00:02:01,591 --> 00:02:03,127 but on you, they work." 39 00:02:04,797 --> 00:02:07,505 I got a whole list of 'em. Who wants to be my wingman? 40 00:02:07,949 --> 00:02:11,286 You're not gonna need a wingman. You're gonna need a paramedic. 41 00:02:12,356 --> 00:02:14,258 Your scooter's blocking my car. 42 00:02:15,172 --> 00:02:16,805 Did you get pinkeye again? 43 00:02:19,458 --> 00:02:21,478 Step one: she notices the eye patch. 44 00:02:23,013 --> 00:02:24,064 May I say, Penny, 45 00:02:24,184 --> 00:02:26,369 not a lot of women could look as hot as you do 46 00:02:26,489 --> 00:02:27,979 with such greasy hair? 47 00:02:36,147 --> 00:02:37,639 Just move your stupid scooter 48 00:02:37,759 --> 00:02:40,331 before I pick it up and throw it in the dumpster. 49 00:03:04,105 --> 00:03:05,563 Subtitles: sub-way.fr 50 00:03:11,476 --> 00:03:14,715 I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch The Clone Wars TV series 51 00:03:14,835 --> 00:03:17,023 until I've seen The Clone Wars movie. 52 00:03:18,789 --> 00:03:22,385 I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended. 53 00:03:24,213 --> 00:03:25,707 I want to watch it now. 54 00:03:26,049 --> 00:03:28,800 Then I believe we've arrived at another quintessential 55 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:31,292 rock-paper-scissors- lizard-Spock moment. 56 00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:38,670 Watch whatever you want. 57 00:03:39,824 --> 00:03:41,464 I saw what you did there. 58 00:03:42,572 --> 00:03:43,685 What'd I do? 59 00:03:51,539 --> 00:03:52,656 What's wrong? 60 00:03:54,608 --> 00:03:56,915 - Okay, we'll be right there. - What happened? 61 00:03:57,035 --> 00:03:59,492 Howard's at the Mars Rover lab. He says he's in trouble. 62 00:03:59,652 --> 00:04:00,683 Defcon 5. 63 00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:01,945 Defcon 5? 64 00:04:02,203 --> 00:04:04,104 Well, there's no need to rush. 65 00:04:05,362 --> 00:04:07,694 - What? - Defcon 5 means "no danger." 66 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,265 Defcon 1 is a crisis. 67 00:04:09,808 --> 00:04:11,755 How can 5 not be worse than 1? 68 00:04:12,323 --> 00:04:13,757 Star Trek V worse than I. 69 00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:19,022 First of all, that's a comparison of quality, not intensity. 70 00:04:19,142 --> 00:04:21,956 Secondly, Star Trek I is orders-of-magnitude worse 71 00:04:22,076 --> 00:04:23,419 than Star Trek V. 72 00:04:23,885 --> 00:04:26,112 Are you joking? Star Trek V is the standard 73 00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:28,232 against which all badness is measured. 74 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:29,272 No, no. 75 00:04:30,195 --> 00:04:33,094 Star Trek V has specific failures in writing and direction, 76 00:04:33,214 --> 00:04:35,096 while Star Trek I fails across the board: 77 00:04:35,216 --> 00:04:37,832 art direction, costuming, music, sound editing. 78 00:04:38,808 --> 00:04:41,139 Can we just forget I said Defcon and go? 79 00:04:42,971 --> 00:04:44,077 Star Trek V. 80 00:04:47,063 --> 00:04:48,516 Will you at least stipulate 81 00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:51,742 that Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home is inarguably the best? 82 00:04:52,207 --> 00:04:55,090 I have three words for you: Wrath of Khan. 83 00:04:56,326 --> 00:04:58,301 - Thank God, you're here. - What's the emergency? 84 00:04:58,636 --> 00:05:00,870 I got the Mars Rover stuck in a ditch. 85 00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:02,870 Where? 86 00:05:02,990 --> 00:05:05,305 On a dusty highway just outside Bakersfield. 87 00:05:05,425 --> 00:05:07,232 Where do you think? On Mars! 88 00:05:08,388 --> 00:05:09,521 Is everything okay? 89 00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:11,749 Yeah, baby, I'll be right in. 90 00:05:14,018 --> 00:05:16,194 You brought a girl to the Mars Rover control room? 91 00:05:16,497 --> 00:05:18,962 Yeah, I picked her up in the bar. She's a doctor. 92 00:05:19,082 --> 00:05:20,410 One free barium enema, 93 00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:22,742 and my mother won't care she's not Jewish. 94 00:05:24,486 --> 00:05:26,871 Wait a minute. So the eye patch and the insults worked? 95 00:05:27,043 --> 00:05:30,500 No, there were three other guys with eye patches. It was a fiasco. 96 00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:36,047 What did work was, "How'd you like to visit a secret government facility?" 97 00:05:36,276 --> 00:05:38,205 So what exactly do you want us to do? 98 00:05:38,376 --> 00:05:40,385 You and Raj help me get the Rover out of the ditch 99 00:05:40,505 --> 00:05:42,793 and you get Stephanie out before somebody notices her. 100 00:05:42,913 --> 00:05:44,844 - She doesn't exactly have clearance. - Really? 101 00:05:44,964 --> 00:05:46,974 They don't let strange women from honky-tonks 102 00:05:47,094 --> 00:05:50,520 come in and play with $200 million government projects on distant planets? 103 00:05:50,974 --> 00:05:53,368 Yes, I was bad. Maybe she'll spank me. 104 00:05:53,488 --> 00:05:54,733 Can we please move on? 105 00:05:56,828 --> 00:06:00,155 It's getting late, so do I get to drive this thing or what? 106 00:06:00,891 --> 00:06:03,133 No. I'm sorry, but something's come up. 107 00:06:03,253 --> 00:06:04,821 Kind of a Mars Rover... 108 00:06:05,444 --> 00:06:08,149 Mars Rover can Howard come over... 109 00:06:11,207 --> 00:06:12,208 situation. 110 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,922 So my friend Leonard is gonna take you home. 111 00:06:17,849 --> 00:06:19,591 Okay. Let's go, friend Leonard. 112 00:06:20,905 --> 00:06:23,817 - I'll call ya. - So are you a scientist like Howard? 113 00:06:24,174 --> 00:06:26,229 No one's a scientist like Howard. 114 00:06:28,102 --> 00:06:29,961 My mother is so gonna love her. 115 00:06:30,386 --> 00:06:34,107 How nice. Maybe they can carpool when they visit you in federal prison. 116 00:06:41,138 --> 00:06:43,488 I'm sorry. I totally interrupted you. 117 00:06:43,608 --> 00:06:44,866 What were you saying? 118 00:06:45,063 --> 00:06:47,047 Just said Howard's a terrific guy. 119 00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:50,968 He's got a great sense of humor. 120 00:06:51,871 --> 00:06:53,357 He loves his mother... 121 00:06:53,571 --> 00:06:54,581 a lot. 122 00:06:54,701 --> 00:06:56,294 People say "too much." 123 00:06:57,303 --> 00:06:59,214 I really like that you're such a loyal friend. 124 00:06:59,530 --> 00:07:01,034 Yeah, I am loyal. 125 00:07:01,985 --> 00:07:03,760 If you look at the big picture. 126 00:07:08,838 --> 00:07:11,851 Out of curiosity, did he ever have a shot with you? 127 00:07:12,193 --> 00:07:14,911 Are you insane? The guy was wearing an eye patch. 128 00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:17,191 Then why did you...? 129 00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:19,844 He said that I could drive a car... on Mars. 130 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,400 Got it. 131 00:07:24,507 --> 00:07:26,153 So, can I see you again? 132 00:07:26,962 --> 00:07:28,724 You're not gonna see me now. 133 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:32,920 Cool. 134 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,255 Anything? 135 00:07:41,218 --> 00:07:43,570 Actually, I was just checking my e-mail. 136 00:07:44,502 --> 00:07:47,192 But, no, the Rover is not responding. 137 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:51,122 I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement 138 00:07:51,242 --> 00:07:54,784 and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion. 139 00:07:55,438 --> 00:07:57,829 Hang on. There's got to be other options. 140 00:07:58,046 --> 00:07:59,790 You could try calling Triple-A. 141 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:04,154 But based on NASA's latest timetable, they won't get there for 35 years. 142 00:08:05,447 --> 00:08:07,230 Plus I understand you have to be standing 143 00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:09,928 next to the vehicle with your card when they arrive. 144 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,012 Oh, snap. 145 00:08:12,861 --> 00:08:13,861 Snap what? 146 00:08:15,492 --> 00:08:17,834 - I guess we have to turn to Plan B. - What's Plan B? 147 00:08:17,994 --> 00:08:19,794 Erase hard drives, scrap surveillance tapes, 148 00:08:19,984 --> 00:08:22,510 wipe our fingerprints off every surface and run. 149 00:08:22,863 --> 00:08:24,420 Why wasn't that Plan A? 150 00:08:27,454 --> 00:08:30,373 A NASA spokesman states that due to the loss of data, 151 00:08:30,493 --> 00:08:33,315 they will most likely be unable to determine the cause 152 00:08:33,435 --> 00:08:35,389 of the Mars Rover's malfunction. 153 00:08:38,555 --> 00:08:40,209 Thank God for Plan B. 154 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,786 Didn't you say you worked on the Mars Rover? 155 00:08:44,906 --> 00:08:46,286 No, you're mistaken. 156 00:08:47,565 --> 00:08:48,756 When we first met, 157 00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:51,660 you said that if I went out with you, I could drive a car on Mars. 158 00:08:54,354 --> 00:08:56,663 I don't know what you're talking about. 159 00:09:00,537 --> 00:09:02,735 Will you all excuse me? Leonard is subtly signaling 160 00:09:02,855 --> 00:09:05,257 that he'd like to talk to me in private. 161 00:09:06,985 --> 00:09:09,126 No. I remember specifically. 162 00:09:09,246 --> 00:09:11,297 You started by asking if I was from Mars 163 00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:13,604 because my ass was out of this world. 164 00:09:16,831 --> 00:09:18,895 That does sound like me, but no. 165 00:09:20,359 --> 00:09:21,823 Is there some problem? 166 00:09:22,716 --> 00:09:25,527 Listen, I have to kinda sneak out for a while. 167 00:09:26,220 --> 00:09:28,283 - All right, good-bye. - No, wait! 168 00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:31,873 If anyone asks you where I went, you don't know. 169 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,807 - Where are you going? - I can't tell you that. 170 00:09:35,827 --> 00:09:37,106 Who would ask me? 171 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,351 I can't tell you that, either. 172 00:09:41,544 --> 00:09:44,421 You brought me in here to inform me you can't tell me where you're going 173 00:09:44,735 --> 00:09:46,959 and you can't tell me who might ask? 174 00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:51,413 Yeah, I really didn't think this through. 175 00:09:53,656 --> 00:09:55,467 - Leonard, a moment. - What? 176 00:09:55,773 --> 00:09:58,145 If someone, and of course, we don't know who this would be, 177 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,645 does ask where you've gone, what should I say? 178 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,023 I don't know. Just tell 'em I went to the office. 179 00:10:03,183 --> 00:10:04,983 - Are you going to the office? - No. 180 00:10:05,248 --> 00:10:06,943 Then how can I say it convincingly? 181 00:10:07,425 --> 00:10:09,321 Just say, "Leonard went to the office." 182 00:10:09,655 --> 00:10:12,727 All right. Leonard went to the office. 183 00:10:18,246 --> 00:10:20,456 What is...? No, not like that! 184 00:10:20,618 --> 00:10:23,326 - Just, "Leonard went to the office." - It would've worked out a lot better 185 00:10:23,446 --> 00:10:25,670 if you'd just told me you were going to the office. 186 00:10:26,211 --> 00:10:27,782 I'm going to the office. 187 00:10:28,116 --> 00:10:29,799 See? Why don't I believe you? 188 00:10:35,398 --> 00:10:36,892 I'm going out for a while. 189 00:10:47,806 --> 00:10:50,403 Doesn't anyone want to know where he's going? 190 00:10:52,406 --> 00:10:53,740 Okay, where is he going? 191 00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:56,128 Leonard is going to the office. 192 00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:12,725 - So how was work today? - Busy. 193 00:11:13,111 --> 00:11:14,844 I removed an appendix, a gall bladder 194 00:11:15,004 --> 00:11:17,111 and about a foot and a half of bowel. 195 00:11:18,633 --> 00:11:20,984 I'm hoping that was three different guys. 196 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:23,860 No, just the one. 197 00:11:25,656 --> 00:11:26,854 He didn't make it. 198 00:11:28,810 --> 00:11:30,151 So, how was your day? 199 00:11:31,288 --> 00:11:34,259 You know, I'm a physicist, so... I thought about stuff. 200 00:11:36,336 --> 00:11:37,200 That's it? 201 00:11:38,042 --> 00:11:39,806 I wrote some of it down. 202 00:11:41,448 --> 00:11:43,153 - Are you done eating? - Yeah. 203 00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:44,580 Good. 204 00:11:48,162 --> 00:11:51,289 If I knew you were waiting, I would've swallowed that lasagna whole. 205 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:57,412 You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett. Leave a message. 206 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,511 It's me again, Howard. 207 00:12:00,631 --> 00:12:01,872 If you're free Friday, 208 00:12:01,992 --> 00:12:04,410 maybe we could have a little something to eat at my place. 209 00:12:04,530 --> 00:12:06,447 My mom cooks a hell of a brisket. 210 00:12:08,393 --> 00:12:09,469 Let me know. 211 00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:10,968 It's Howard. 212 00:12:13,295 --> 00:12:15,488 I've had her brisket. Melts in your mouth. 213 00:12:20,302 --> 00:12:23,165 Maybe we should think about going to the bedroom. 214 00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:24,539 Good idea. 215 00:12:24,699 --> 00:12:27,742 There's a bed in there, and I'm very, very, very pro-bed. 216 00:12:30,925 --> 00:12:33,890 You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett. Leave a message. 217 00:12:35,059 --> 00:12:36,544 Hey, it's me again. 218 00:12:37,676 --> 00:12:39,060 Just want to let you know 219 00:12:39,180 --> 00:12:41,973 the head count for dinner Friday has gone up. 220 00:12:42,414 --> 00:12:46,100 My Aunt Betty and Uncle Elliot are coming in from Palm Springs. 221 00:12:46,888 --> 00:12:48,132 If anybody should ask, 222 00:12:48,252 --> 00:12:50,508 you're half-Jewish on your mother's side. 223 00:12:51,743 --> 00:12:52,883 Okay, call me. 224 00:12:53,591 --> 00:12:54,784 It's Howard. 225 00:12:56,836 --> 00:12:59,282 Don't you think we should tell him you're not interested? 226 00:13:00,224 --> 00:13:03,127 Do you want me to stop and call him back right now? 227 00:13:03,247 --> 00:13:04,494 Dear God, no! 228 00:13:13,062 --> 00:13:15,630 You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett. Leave a message. 229 00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:18,288 Hey, it's me again. 230 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:24,540 My cousins from Fort Lauderdale are flying in to meet you 231 00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:26,776 so that means we're gonna have to move the dinner 232 00:13:26,896 --> 00:13:28,212 to a restaurant. 233 00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:31,552 Tell her we're going to the Olive Garden! 234 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,539 I have a coupon from the paper. 235 00:13:36,622 --> 00:13:39,810 We're not going to the Olive Garden, Ma! 236 00:13:41,214 --> 00:13:44,219 Mr. Bigshot with his Red Lobster. 237 00:13:46,357 --> 00:13:48,693 I'll call you back when we firm up the details. 238 00:13:50,408 --> 00:13:51,464 It's Howard. 239 00:13:59,095 --> 00:14:00,640 - New shirts? - Yeah, a couple. 240 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,100 - Nice. - Thank you. 241 00:14:02,465 --> 00:14:03,826 So, who's the girl? 242 00:14:06,024 --> 00:14:06,850 I'm sorry? 243 00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:09,811 Well, last time you bought a new shirt was when we were dating. 244 00:14:09,972 --> 00:14:12,207 So what we did was in fact dating? 245 00:14:14,681 --> 00:14:16,651 Well, yeah, we did have a date. 246 00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,153 Exactly. Thank you. 247 00:14:19,885 --> 00:14:22,532 Do me a favor, tell Koothrappali that next time you see him. 248 00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:25,660 So, who is she? 249 00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,137 - She's a doctor. - Nice. 250 00:14:29,431 --> 00:14:31,878 A doctor doctor, or a you kind of doctor? 251 00:14:33,036 --> 00:14:34,002 Doctor doctor. 252 00:14:34,162 --> 00:14:35,469 Surgical resident. 253 00:14:35,893 --> 00:14:37,052 Smart, pretty. 254 00:14:39,761 --> 00:14:41,368 Let me ask you something. 255 00:14:42,671 --> 00:14:44,930 If your friend thinks he's dating someone, 256 00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:47,638 but he's not because, in fact, you're dating her, 257 00:14:47,758 --> 00:14:49,517 does that make you a bad person? 258 00:14:49,999 --> 00:14:51,728 - That depends. - On what? 259 00:14:52,173 --> 00:14:53,716 Is that friend Wolowitz? 260 00:14:56,601 --> 00:14:57,901 Screw him. You're fine. 261 00:15:00,863 --> 00:15:01,988 Are you sure? 262 00:15:02,281 --> 00:15:04,282 Well, have you slept with her yet? 263 00:15:06,128 --> 00:15:07,430 You dog! 264 00:15:09,563 --> 00:15:10,789 Good for you. 265 00:15:11,406 --> 00:15:13,340 - Does that change things? - No. 266 00:15:14,995 --> 00:15:16,795 - So why'd you ask? - I'm nosy. 267 00:15:17,391 --> 00:15:18,391 See ya. 268 00:15:24,016 --> 00:15:26,229 Howard, get the door! 269 00:15:28,017 --> 00:15:30,616 Really? Is that what you do when someone knocks?! 270 00:15:30,736 --> 00:15:32,667 Thank you. I had no idea! 271 00:15:35,719 --> 00:15:38,983 Hey, buddy. What brings you to my little slice of hell? 272 00:15:40,019 --> 00:15:41,237 Who is it?! 273 00:15:41,826 --> 00:15:43,071 It's Leonard! 274 00:15:43,232 --> 00:15:45,765 You're gonna have to play outside! 275 00:15:45,885 --> 00:15:48,270 I'm not dressed to receive! 276 00:15:49,627 --> 00:15:51,373 No one cares, Ma! 277 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:52,977 So, what's up? 278 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,751 Listen, I need to talk to you about something. 279 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:00,714 Momentito. 280 00:16:01,757 --> 00:16:02,757 Yello. 281 00:16:04,127 --> 00:16:06,428 Thanks for calling me back. I was worried... 282 00:16:18,997 --> 00:16:20,615 No, I understand. 283 00:16:20,735 --> 00:16:22,651 Sure, we can be friends. Absolutely. 284 00:16:22,812 --> 00:16:24,114 Thanks for calling. 285 00:16:24,856 --> 00:16:26,491 You have a nice day, too. 286 00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:29,743 You are dead to me. 287 00:16:36,114 --> 00:16:37,994 Who gets the extra dumpling? 288 00:16:43,205 --> 00:16:45,258 Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock. 289 00:16:48,755 --> 00:16:51,449 Okay, one of us is going to have to stop putting up Spock. 290 00:16:51,957 --> 00:16:53,183 How do we decide that? 291 00:16:59,256 --> 00:17:00,941 - Hey, guys. - Hello. 292 00:17:02,478 --> 00:17:03,360 Hi, Howard. 293 00:17:09,517 --> 00:17:11,874 Howard is employing a schoolyard paradigm 294 00:17:11,994 --> 00:17:14,931 in which you are, for all intents and purposes, deceased. 295 00:17:16,533 --> 00:17:19,169 He intends to act on this by not speaking to you, 296 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,522 feigning an inability to hear you when you speak 297 00:17:21,642 --> 00:17:24,431 and otherwise refusing to acknowledge your existence. 298 00:17:25,304 --> 00:17:27,717 That's just ridiculous. Why are you cooperating with him? 299 00:17:28,145 --> 00:17:30,220 I don't make the rules, Leonard. 300 00:17:32,074 --> 00:17:34,391 Howard, come on. I didn't plan on this. 301 00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:35,952 These things just happen. 302 00:17:36,072 --> 00:17:38,409 Usually not to me, but they do happen. 303 00:17:40,166 --> 00:17:42,359 Did someone just feel a cold breeze? 304 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,902 I believe this is an extension of the death metaphor. 305 00:17:46,910 --> 00:17:49,464 The cold breeze is the so-called ectoplasmic issue 306 00:17:49,584 --> 00:17:51,408 of a disembodied soul passing by. 307 00:17:53,009 --> 00:17:55,202 Screw it. I'm just gonna eat the dumpling. 308 00:18:01,661 --> 00:18:03,544 - Come on in. - Is this a bad time? 309 00:18:03,710 --> 00:18:05,839 Yes, but I don't see a better one on the horizon. 310 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,830 If it isn't Mrs. Dead to Me. 311 00:18:13,773 --> 00:18:15,925 I'm sorry, you violated the terms of your metaphor 312 00:18:16,045 --> 00:18:18,139 by acknowledging her existence. I'm out. 313 00:18:20,137 --> 00:18:21,843 He just won't listen to me. 314 00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:24,758 Okay, I guess it'll just be the three of us then. 315 00:18:25,589 --> 00:18:27,233 Lisa's gonna be disappointed. 316 00:18:27,968 --> 00:18:28,968 Lisa? 317 00:18:29,999 --> 00:18:32,498 My roommate. She just went through a really bad breakup, 318 00:18:32,618 --> 00:18:35,327 I thought she might like to meet somebody fun like you. 319 00:18:36,708 --> 00:18:38,685 Leonard, Stephanie, you're alive! 320 00:18:38,805 --> 00:18:40,002 It's a miracle! 321 00:18:43,077 --> 00:18:45,450 So, anyway, Lisa, I just wanted to tell you again 322 00:18:45,570 --> 00:18:47,412 how much I enjoyed the other night, 323 00:18:47,532 --> 00:18:49,757 and again, I'm sorry for how it ended. 324 00:18:52,169 --> 00:18:54,433 But again, if you could let me know about Friday. 325 00:18:54,553 --> 00:18:55,974 My mother needs a head count 326 00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:58,208 so she can know how big a brisket to get. 327 00:18:59,414 --> 00:19:00,809 Howard, look at this. 328 00:19:00,970 --> 00:19:02,074 Anyway, call me. 329 00:19:02,379 --> 00:19:03,435 It's Howard. 330 00:19:05,619 --> 00:19:08,360 It's unclear how the Mars Rover got into the crevice, 331 00:19:08,776 --> 00:19:10,272 but one thing's certain: 332 00:19:10,392 --> 00:19:11,905 the data which it has sent back 333 00:19:12,243 --> 00:19:14,219 contain the first clear indications 334 00:19:14,339 --> 00:19:16,568 that there may have been life on Mars. 335 00:19:18,651 --> 00:19:20,205 It's a scientific discovery 336 00:19:20,366 --> 00:19:23,065 that has staggering implications for all mankind. 337 00:19:23,511 --> 00:19:26,699 Unfortunately, we'll never know who's responsible. 338 00:19:32,256 --> 00:19:33,758 Son of a bitch.