1
00:00:03,123 --> 00:00:06,158
I recently read
that during World War Two,
2
00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:08,544
Joseph Stalin had
a research program
3
00:00:08,546 --> 00:00:10,162
to create
supersoldiers
4
00:00:10,164 --> 00:00:13,732
by having women
impregnated by gorillas.
5
00:00:14,651 --> 00:00:17,169
What a sick use
of science.
6
00:00:17,171 --> 00:00:19,421
Hey, as long as
the baby's healthy.
7
00:00:20,974 --> 00:00:23,142
I wonder if Stalin considered
any other animals.
8
00:00:23,144 --> 00:00:25,177
Hippos are
the deadliest creature.
9
00:00:25,179 --> 00:00:28,263
A half-human, half-hippo soldier
would be pretty badass.
10
00:00:29,482 --> 00:00:31,433
Yes, but when they're
hungry-hungry,
11
00:00:31,435 --> 00:00:33,352
you can stop them
with marbles.
12
00:00:34,688 --> 00:00:35,771
Yeah, the correct animal
13
00:00:35,773 --> 00:00:38,407
for interspecies supersolider
is koala.
14
00:00:38,409 --> 00:00:42,911
You would wind up with an army
so cute it couldn't be attacked.
15
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,832
But half-man, half-owl
could fly...
16
00:00:46,834 --> 00:00:50,419
The answer is cuddly soldiers
with big flat noses. Moving on.
17
00:00:51,538 --> 00:00:53,088
So, Penny, when's
the new job start?
18
00:00:53,090 --> 00:00:54,289
Next Monday.
19
00:00:54,291 --> 00:00:55,758
Did you get a chance
to look over
20
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:56,709
the materials I gave you?
21
00:00:56,711 --> 00:00:57,876
Uh, not yet,
but I will.
22
00:00:57,878 --> 00:01:00,095
Great. When?
23
00:01:00,097 --> 00:01:02,214
I said I'll get to it.
24
00:01:05,852 --> 00:01:09,004
I'm sensing awkwardness,
am I right?
25
00:01:09,006 --> 00:01:10,973
Yes.
26
00:01:10,975 --> 00:01:13,142
Swish.
27
00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:16,061
I don't want to be pushy,
28
00:01:16,063 --> 00:01:18,814
but you've never done
pharmaceutical sales before.
29
00:01:18,816 --> 00:01:21,233
It seems like you could use
this time to get a head start.
30
00:01:21,235 --> 00:01:22,735
Well, the first few
weeks will be all training.
31
00:01:22,737 --> 00:01:25,404
They'll tell me everything
I need to know.
32
00:01:25,406 --> 00:01:26,955
But imagine how impressed
they'd be if you showed up
33
00:01:26,957 --> 00:01:28,374
already familiar
with the material.
34
00:01:28,376 --> 00:01:30,909
Okay, so what, you want me
to be like a teacher's pet?
35
00:01:30,911 --> 00:01:33,045
Couldn't hurt.
36
00:01:33,047 --> 00:01:33,912
Mm, I don't know.
37
00:01:33,914 --> 00:01:35,664
Who here has ever been hurt
38
00:01:35,666 --> 00:01:37,416
because they were
the teacher's pet?
39
00:01:41,554 --> 00:01:43,922
It was like the rest of
the class wanted Ms. McDonald
40
00:01:43,924 --> 00:01:45,674
to forget the quiz.
41
00:01:45,676 --> 00:01:49,311
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
42
00:01:49,313 --> 00:01:52,648
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
43
00:01:52,650 --> 00:01:54,266
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
44
00:01:54,268 --> 00:01:56,819
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
45
00:01:56,821 --> 00:01:59,488
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
46
00:01:59,490 --> 00:02:02,157
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
47
00:02:02,159 --> 00:02:04,076
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
48
00:02:04,078 --> 00:02:04,578
♪ Bang! ♪
49
00:02:04,579 --> 00:02:08,579
♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x02 ♪
The Junior Professor Solution
Original Air Date on September 22, 2014
50
00:02:08,669 --> 00:02:14,669
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
51
00:02:16,383 --> 00:02:17,350
Mrs. Davis.
52
00:02:17,352 --> 00:02:19,452
Guess who?
53
00:02:19,454 --> 00:02:20,720
Dr. Cooper.
54
00:02:20,722 --> 00:02:22,888
That's right, good job.
55
00:02:23,740 --> 00:02:25,391
Hello.
56
00:02:25,393 --> 00:02:27,560
Uh, you wanted
to see me?
57
00:02:27,562 --> 00:02:29,178
Yes. Uh, welcome back.
58
00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:30,613
Thank you.
59
00:02:30,615 --> 00:02:33,232
I assume you'd like
to reopen our dialogue
60
00:02:33,234 --> 00:02:36,068
about the university forcing me
to continue with string theory?
61
00:02:36,070 --> 00:02:37,720
You mean the dialogue that went,
62
00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:41,207
"Please?" "No." "Please?" "No."
"Please?" "No."
63
00:02:42,109 --> 00:02:44,210
That's the one.
64
00:02:45,512 --> 00:02:48,831
I believe you went last,
so, uh, please?
65
00:02:48,833 --> 00:02:52,585
Dr. Cooper, while you were away,
we came up with a solution
66
00:02:52,587 --> 00:02:55,004
that would allow you to change
your field of study.
67
00:02:55,006 --> 00:02:56,756
Wow.
68
00:02:56,758 --> 00:02:59,892
Pouting and running away
actually worked.
69
00:03:00,794 --> 00:03:02,728
Yeah, I must say,
that may not be a lesson
70
00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:04,096
you want to reinforce with me.
71
00:03:05,732 --> 00:03:07,767
So, um, what is the solution?
72
00:03:07,769 --> 00:03:09,435
Currently, you're being paid
under a grant
73
00:03:09,437 --> 00:03:11,404
to specifically research
string theory.
74
00:03:11,406 --> 00:03:13,356
If we promote you
to junior professor,
75
00:03:13,358 --> 00:03:15,074
you'll be able to choose
76
00:03:15,076 --> 00:03:16,959
whatever field of research
you'd like.
77
00:03:18,311 --> 00:03:22,181
But if I'm a professor,
then I'll have to teach a class.
78
00:03:22,183 --> 00:03:23,649
That is correct.
79
00:03:24,951 --> 00:03:29,622
So your solution is to
promote me and pay me more money
80
00:03:29,624 --> 00:03:31,507
so that I can impart
my knowledge
81
00:03:31,509 --> 00:03:33,542
to the next generation
of scientists?
82
00:03:33,544 --> 00:03:34,910
Yes.
83
00:03:36,196 --> 00:03:38,297
You people are sick.
84
00:03:41,768 --> 00:03:43,352
Hey.
85
00:03:43,354 --> 00:03:44,720
Ready to go to lunch?
86
00:03:44,722 --> 00:03:46,055
Just give me a minute.
87
00:03:46,057 --> 00:03:47,440
I'm stimulating the pleasure
cells of this starfish.
88
00:03:47,442 --> 00:03:48,641
I just need to turn it off.
89
00:03:48,643 --> 00:03:50,609
What happens
if you don't?
90
00:03:50,611 --> 00:03:51,961
Then I have to sit through lunch
91
00:03:51,963 --> 00:03:54,647
knowing this starfish is
having a better day than I am.
92
00:03:55,732 --> 00:03:58,117
Is Bernadette meeting us
at the restaurant?
93
00:03:58,119 --> 00:04:01,053
Uh, no. Actually,
I didn't invite her.
94
00:04:01,055 --> 00:04:02,154
How come?
95
00:04:02,156 --> 00:04:04,323
Well, ever since she helped me
get this job,
96
00:04:04,325 --> 00:04:05,791
she won't stop bugging me.
97
00:04:05,793 --> 00:04:08,461
Well, I think she just wants you
to do well,
98
00:04:08,463 --> 00:04:09,745
and she's worried that you won't
99
00:04:09,747 --> 00:04:14,083
'cause you were just
a stunningly poor waitress.
100
00:04:14,085 --> 00:04:15,384
That is not true.
101
00:04:15,386 --> 00:04:17,103
I'm still waiting
on my mini corndogs
102
00:04:17,105 --> 00:04:19,221
from two years ago.
103
00:04:19,223 --> 00:04:22,775
I told you,
they'll be right out.
104
00:04:23,543 --> 00:04:26,228
Okay, so no
Bernadette.
105
00:04:26,230 --> 00:04:28,814
Well, you saw her the
other night. Am I wrong?
106
00:04:28,816 --> 00:04:30,015
No, I just...
107
00:04:30,017 --> 00:04:32,902
I feel kind of uncomfortable
talking about her like this.
108
00:04:32,904 --> 00:04:35,905
Usually when someone's being
talked about behind their back,
109
00:04:35,907 --> 00:04:38,691
it's me and it's right
in front of my face.
110
00:04:38,693 --> 00:04:41,827
I-I'm sorry. I just need
a little break from her.
111
00:04:41,829 --> 00:04:43,863
I understand.
112
00:04:43,865 --> 00:04:47,867
You know, there is
some research that indicates
113
00:04:47,869 --> 00:04:51,036
that sharing negative attitudes
about a third party
114
00:04:51,038 --> 00:04:54,173
can be a powerful bonding force
between two friends.
115
00:04:55,592 --> 00:04:57,042
So, what are
you saying?
116
00:04:57,044 --> 00:04:59,762
I'm saying,
in the spirit of science,
117
00:04:59,764 --> 00:05:02,181
what is
that little skank's problem?
118
00:05:05,685 --> 00:05:07,803
So, I've been trying
to come up
119
00:05:07,805 --> 00:05:09,722
with a cute couple's nickname
for me and Emily.
120
00:05:09,724 --> 00:05:11,390
What do you
like better--
121
00:05:11,392 --> 00:05:14,693
Emippali...
122
00:05:14,695 --> 00:05:17,229
or Koothrapemily?
123
00:05:17,231 --> 00:05:20,933
Why is it your last name
and her first name?
124
00:05:20,935 --> 00:05:22,902
Oh, well,
her last name is Sweeney,
125
00:05:22,904 --> 00:05:27,239
and something just didn't seem
right about Koothrapeeney.
126
00:05:29,075 --> 00:05:31,827
Hey, how'd it go
with human resources?
127
00:05:31,829 --> 00:05:33,245
Awful.
128
00:05:33,247 --> 00:05:35,581
Yeah, they're allowing me
to move on from string theory,
129
00:05:35,583 --> 00:05:37,500
but they made me
a junior professor
130
00:05:37,502 --> 00:05:39,802
and are requiring me
to teach a class.
131
00:05:39,804 --> 00:05:42,588
I don't understand. Why is it
bad that you have to teach?
132
00:05:42,590 --> 00:05:45,057
What a stupid question.
133
00:05:45,892 --> 00:05:49,428
The kids are
gonna love him.
134
00:05:49,430 --> 00:05:51,397
I can't believe
I have to waste my time
135
00:05:51,399 --> 00:05:53,566
babysitting a bunch
of grad students
136
00:05:53,568 --> 00:05:57,570
who probably think dark matter
is what's in their diapers.
137
00:05:57,572 --> 00:05:59,104
This might not be that bad.
138
00:05:59,106 --> 00:06:01,273
Uh, you like telling people
they're wrong.
139
00:06:01,275 --> 00:06:02,608
Wrong!
140
00:06:04,027 --> 00:06:07,112
Just because I enjoyed that one
doesn't mean I always do.
141
00:06:07,864 --> 00:06:09,665
You enjoy giving
people grades.
142
00:06:09,667 --> 00:06:13,786
A valid point,
but unoriginal-- B-minus.
143
00:06:13,788 --> 00:06:15,955
And you love the sound
of your own voice.
144
00:06:15,957 --> 00:06:17,706
Yeah, well, of course I do.
145
00:06:17,708 --> 00:06:18,841
Listen to it.
146
00:06:18,843 --> 00:06:22,127
It's like an earful
of melted caramel.
147
00:06:22,129 --> 00:06:24,346
Look, most importantly,
148
00:06:24,348 --> 00:06:27,216
this will let you move on
and study dark matter.
149
00:06:28,335 --> 00:06:31,136
It is true that many of
my heroes have taken students
150
00:06:31,138 --> 00:06:32,438
under their wings:
151
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:35,774
Feynman, Einstein, Professor X.
152
00:06:35,776 --> 00:06:38,227
Humorously,
153
00:06:38,229 --> 00:06:39,728
in the case of Professor X,
154
00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:42,147
some of his students
actually had wings.
155
00:06:42,149 --> 00:06:44,400
That's rich.
156
00:06:45,635 --> 00:06:47,553
I'll use that one
to lighten the mood
157
00:06:47,555 --> 00:06:50,656
after my entire class
fails the midterm.
158
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:57,379
Measuring starfish
serotonin levels in response
159
00:06:57,381 --> 00:07:01,500
to one point two molar
stimulation of pleasure cells.
160
00:07:03,270 --> 00:07:06,205
You like that, don't you?
161
00:07:06,207 --> 00:07:07,973
That's right, say my name.
162
00:07:11,696 --> 00:07:13,762
Hey.
163
00:07:13,764 --> 00:07:15,514
Hey, what's going on?
Not much.
164
00:07:15,516 --> 00:07:16,932
You want to get a drink later?
165
00:07:16,934 --> 00:07:18,150
Just the two of us?
166
00:07:18,152 --> 00:07:19,152
No Penny?
167
00:07:19,153 --> 00:07:20,235
Not tonight.
168
00:07:20,237 --> 00:07:21,437
I'm a little frustrated
with her.
169
00:07:21,439 --> 00:07:23,322
Because you got her the job
and you think
170
00:07:23,324 --> 00:07:25,190
she should be working harder
to prepare for it?
171
00:07:25,192 --> 00:07:28,861
So it's not just me.
You see it, too!
172
00:07:30,363 --> 00:07:33,365
I do, I see it.
173
00:07:33,367 --> 00:07:34,984
It's driving me crazy.
174
00:07:34,986 --> 00:07:36,835
Just this afternoon,
I saw on Instagram
175
00:07:36,837 --> 00:07:39,254
that instead of studying,
she went out to lunch
176
00:07:39,256 --> 00:07:41,006
and got a manicure.
177
00:07:41,908 --> 00:07:44,543
That's outrageous!
178
00:07:44,545 --> 00:07:45,711
I know!
179
00:07:45,713 --> 00:07:47,046
If she doesn't do well,
180
00:07:47,048 --> 00:07:49,665
Th-this could reflect poorly
on you.
181
00:07:49,667 --> 00:07:53,068
Exactly. Does she not realize it
or does she not care?
182
00:07:53,070 --> 00:07:54,286
I don't know.
183
00:07:54,288 --> 00:07:56,689
The important thing is
I am here for you
184
00:07:56,691 --> 00:08:00,893
so we can mutually disparage
this unpleasing third party.
185
00:08:06,116 --> 00:08:08,751
Hey. We just wanted to see
186
00:08:08,753 --> 00:08:10,486
how your class was going.
Where is everybody?
187
00:08:10,488 --> 00:08:13,038
There is no class.
188
00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:16,291
Did you send everyone to
the principal's office already?
189
00:08:17,827 --> 00:08:19,578
No one signed up.
190
00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:21,296
Well, that's not your fault.
191
00:08:21,298 --> 00:08:24,633
I called the department
secretary to see what happened.
192
00:08:24,635 --> 00:08:28,637
Apparently, I have a reputation
for being obnoxious.
193
00:08:29,472 --> 00:08:32,024
What?
194
00:08:32,976 --> 00:08:35,044
Hey, Sheldon, I'm sorry.
195
00:08:35,046 --> 00:08:37,062
No, it's fine.
196
00:08:37,064 --> 00:08:41,400
Now I can devote all my time
to dark matter.
197
00:08:41,402 --> 00:08:44,403
Aw, you brought cookies
for everyone?
198
00:08:44,405 --> 00:08:45,771
Oh, yes. Fig Newtons.
199
00:08:45,773 --> 00:08:48,524
which scientist both helped
200
00:08:48,526 --> 00:08:51,944
to develop calculus and had
a famous cookie named after him?
201
00:08:51,946 --> 00:08:53,412
And then after
someone said "Newton,"
202
00:08:53,414 --> 00:08:55,781
I was going to tell them
they're wrong.
203
00:08:57,267 --> 00:09:00,452
The cookies are named
after a town in Massachusetts.
204
00:09:00,454 --> 00:09:03,255
And then I'd throw
the cookies away.
205
00:09:04,874 --> 00:09:06,875
Hey, what if I took your class?
206
00:09:07,711 --> 00:09:09,795
Why would you do that?
207
00:09:09,797 --> 00:09:11,797
Yeah, why would you do that?
What's wrong with you?
208
00:09:12,348 --> 00:09:14,683
I'm thinking about
getting my doctorate,
209
00:09:14,685 --> 00:09:16,351
and he wants to teach-- why not?
210
00:09:16,353 --> 00:09:18,020
Oh, Howard.
211
00:09:18,022 --> 00:09:20,139
I appreciate
the gesture,
212
00:09:20,141 --> 00:09:22,808
but this is
a graduate-level physics class.
213
00:09:24,110 --> 00:09:25,811
I don't think you'd understand
214
00:09:25,813 --> 00:09:28,864
a single thing
I was talking about.
215
00:09:29,816 --> 00:09:32,701
Ask why not again;
I've got an answer.
216
00:09:32,703 --> 00:09:36,455
Sheldon, I'm more than smart
enough to take your class.
217
00:09:38,541 --> 00:09:40,576
No.
218
00:09:42,078 --> 00:09:43,295
Yes.
219
00:09:44,798 --> 00:09:46,882
How would you determine
the ground state
220
00:09:46,884 --> 00:09:50,002
of a quantum system
with no exact solution?
221
00:09:50,004 --> 00:09:52,471
I would guess a wave-function
and then vary its parameters
222
00:09:52,473 --> 00:09:54,306
until I found
the lowest energy solution.
223
00:09:54,308 --> 00:09:56,475
Hmm.
224
00:09:57,477 --> 00:10:00,062
Do you know how to integrate
X squared times E
225
00:10:00,064 --> 00:10:02,264
to the minus X,
without looking it up?
226
00:10:03,516 --> 00:10:04,566
I'd use Feynman's trick--
227
00:10:04,568 --> 00:10:06,001
differentiate
under the integral sign.
228
00:10:06,003 --> 00:10:08,353
Okay.
229
00:10:09,189 --> 00:10:10,689
Um...
230
00:10:10,691 --> 00:10:13,075
What is the correct
interpretation
231
00:10:13,077 --> 00:10:14,576
of quantum mechanics?
232
00:10:14,578 --> 00:10:16,578
Since every interpretation gives
exactly the same answer
233
00:10:16,580 --> 00:10:18,530
to every measurement,
they are all equally correct.
234
00:10:18,532 --> 00:10:20,866
However, I know you believe in
the Many Worlds Interpretation,
235
00:10:20,868 --> 00:10:23,502
so I'll say that. Now do you
think I'm smart enough?
236
00:10:26,673 --> 00:10:28,423
No.
237
00:10:29,876 --> 00:10:31,627
Oh, come on.
You might've gone to school
238
00:10:31,629 --> 00:10:33,679
for a couple more years than me,
but guess what--
239
00:10:33,681 --> 00:10:35,714
engineers are just
as smart as physicists.
240
00:10:35,716 --> 00:10:38,217
You take that back!
241
00:10:41,137 --> 00:10:43,856
No.
242
00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:53,533
So, after drinks
with Bernadette,
243
00:10:53,535 --> 00:10:56,536
I get home, and Penny calls
to complain about her.
244
00:10:56,538 --> 00:10:58,171
And then while
I'm talking to Penny,
245
00:10:58,173 --> 00:10:59,589
I get a text from Bernadette.
246
00:10:59,591 --> 00:11:02,542
Wh... I'm trying to prepare
my lesson plan for Howard.
247
00:11:02,544 --> 00:11:05,595
Why are you
telling me this?
248
00:11:05,597 --> 00:11:09,716
Because it's taken 15 years, but
high school is finally awesome!
249
00:11:11,636 --> 00:11:13,387
I love them both,
250
00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:17,274
but I'm in the center now,
and I love that even more.
251
00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:20,060
Amy, please. I am trying
to figure out a way
252
00:11:20,062 --> 00:11:24,064
to intellectually emasculate
a dear friend of mine.
253
00:11:24,066 --> 00:11:26,366
But I'm just...
Not now.
254
00:11:26,368 --> 00:11:28,034
You better watch
that attitude, buddy.
255
00:11:28,036 --> 00:11:31,204
You're dating the
popular girl now.
256
00:11:34,242 --> 00:11:36,042
Hmm. You're up late.
257
00:11:36,044 --> 00:11:38,745
Oh, I'm working on
my lesson plan for Wolowitz.
258
00:11:38,747 --> 00:11:40,630
He is going to be so lost.
259
00:11:41,749 --> 00:11:43,667
Look at this section over here.
260
00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:47,003
Even I don't really
understand it.
261
00:11:47,005 --> 00:11:49,973
Sheldon, why are you doing this?
262
00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:51,725
I'm a teacher, Leonard.
263
00:11:51,727 --> 00:11:53,059
It's my job.
264
00:11:53,061 --> 00:11:54,928
No, I-I mean,
265
00:11:54,930 --> 00:11:56,763
why are you going
to so much trouble
266
00:11:56,765 --> 00:11:58,565
to prove that you're smarter
than Wolowitz?
267
00:11:58,567 --> 00:12:01,685
Oh, it's no trouble;
it's actually a pleasure.
268
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,654
You want to know what I think?
269
00:12:04,656 --> 00:12:07,741
I think the idea that someone
could be as smart as you,
270
00:12:07,743 --> 00:12:10,327
or even smarter,
scares the pants off you,
271
00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:11,995
and you can't deal with it.
272
00:12:13,831 --> 00:12:15,665
Interesting point.
273
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:17,534
Wh... You're
suggesting
274
00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:20,203
that I have emotional issues
below my consciousness
275
00:12:20,205 --> 00:12:21,855
which drive my behavior,
276
00:12:21,857 --> 00:12:24,841
thus causing me to lash out
at anything or anyone
277
00:12:24,843 --> 00:12:27,410
that threatens
my intellectual superiority.
278
00:12:27,412 --> 00:12:30,046
Might be something
to think about.
279
00:12:30,932 --> 00:12:32,299
Leonard?
280
00:12:32,301 --> 00:12:33,884
Yeah.
281
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,552
Howard's allergic to peanuts.
282
00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:37,637
How can I use that against him?
283
00:12:41,609 --> 00:12:42,943
Hey.
284
00:12:42,945 --> 00:12:46,897
Okay, now that everyone's here,
we can begin.
285
00:12:48,649 --> 00:12:51,468
Before we do,
I just talked to Leonard.
286
00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:52,736
And if you're gonna
287
00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:55,322
spend all your time
trying to belittle me
288
00:12:55,324 --> 00:12:58,208
by making this class
unnecessarily hard,
289
00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:00,160
then I'm out.
290
00:13:00,162 --> 00:13:01,578
But if you're interested
in making
291
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:04,331
a sincere effort
to be a good teacher,
292
00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:07,133
then I'm willing
to give this a shot.
293
00:13:09,670 --> 00:13:12,222
I suppose that's a fair request.
294
00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:15,675
There's no reason we both can't
benefit from this experience.
295
00:13:15,677 --> 00:13:17,244
Okay.
296
00:13:17,246 --> 00:13:19,312
Okay.
297
00:13:19,314 --> 00:13:21,014
Well, then, uh,
first things first.
298
00:13:21,016 --> 00:13:24,768
Um, are you familiar with
the Brachistochrone problem?
299
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:26,236
I am.
Good.
300
00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:28,822
And how it relates
to the calculus of variations?
301
00:13:28,824 --> 00:13:30,190
It's an inverted cycloid.
302
00:13:30,192 --> 00:13:31,358
Wonderful.
303
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,660
Now, what about
Euler-Lagrange theorems?
304
00:13:33,662 --> 00:13:34,995
That's where I'm a little fuzzy.
305
00:13:34,997 --> 00:13:37,030
Ha! I knew it! All right.
306
00:13:38,499 --> 00:13:41,535
We have a lot of information
to cover before your first test.
307
00:13:41,537 --> 00:13:44,371
Which, by the way,
is in eight minutes.
308
00:13:44,373 --> 00:13:47,007
The good news is I'm
grading on a curve,
309
00:13:47,009 --> 00:13:49,709
so you're pretty much
guaranteed a C.
310
00:13:49,711 --> 00:13:51,511
♪ All I do is win, win, win ♪
311
00:13:51,513 --> 00:13:53,430
♪ No matter what ♪
What are you doing?
312
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:55,799
♪ Everybody hands go up, up... ♪
313
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:57,717
♪ And they stay there! ♪
314
00:13:57,719 --> 00:13:59,352
What are you doing?
315
00:13:59,354 --> 00:14:00,720
If you're gonna be
a crappy teacher,
316
00:14:00,722 --> 00:14:02,472
then I'm gonna be
a crappy student.
317
00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:04,190
♪ Ludacris going in
on the verse ♪
318
00:14:04,192 --> 00:14:06,359
♪ 'Cause I never been defeated
and I won't stop now... ♪
319
00:14:06,361 --> 00:14:09,229
Will you stop it!
320
00:14:09,231 --> 00:14:10,564
This is a classroom.
321
00:14:10,566 --> 00:14:12,032
This is not American Bandstand.
322
00:14:12,034 --> 00:14:12,983
Okay.
323
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,067
Now, where was I?
324
00:14:14,069 --> 00:14:15,018
Let's see.
325
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,036
Oh, yes. Over here.
326
00:14:16,038 --> 00:14:17,237
You...
327
00:14:18,706 --> 00:14:20,156
What are you doing now?
328
00:14:20,158 --> 00:14:21,975
Making a straw.
329
00:14:21,977 --> 00:14:23,026
Why?
330
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:26,379
So I can shoot you
with a spitball.
331
00:14:27,665 --> 00:14:30,417
You're not going to do that,
and I'll tell you why.
332
00:14:30,419 --> 00:14:32,586
This is an institution
of higher learning,
333
00:14:32,588 --> 00:14:34,254
I am your professor,
334
00:14:34,256 --> 00:14:36,222
and you're going to treat me
with the prop...
335
00:14:41,562 --> 00:14:44,848
You shot your spit in my mouth!
336
00:14:45,683 --> 00:14:47,434
Is that gonna be on the test?
337
00:14:47,436 --> 00:14:49,686
Because I don't think
I can do that again.
338
00:14:52,406 --> 00:14:54,357
Hey, girlfriend.
339
00:14:54,359 --> 00:14:57,611
Can I get a what what?
340
00:14:57,613 --> 00:14:59,579
What?
341
00:15:00,414 --> 00:15:01,748
Close enough.
342
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:04,417
Um, I was just calling to see
what you were up tonight.
343
00:15:04,419 --> 00:15:06,536
Thought maybe we could hit up
Color Me Mine,
344
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:09,873
maybe sneak in
some Pinot Greej. Whatevs.
345
00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:11,791
Uh, thanks, but I think
I'm gonna stay in
346
00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:13,627
and go over the stuff
Bernadette gave me.
347
00:15:13,629 --> 00:15:15,578
Oh. Oh, I hear you.
348
00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:18,164
Try and get that nag
off your back, right?
349
00:15:19,367 --> 00:15:20,734
I mean, you're not a bicycle;
350
00:15:20,736 --> 00:15:23,219
why's she riding you like that?
351
00:15:23,221 --> 00:15:25,338
No, I think she was
just trying to help.
352
00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:28,108
Plus, I really want to do well
at this job. So...
353
00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:29,743
Okay, good luck.
And call me later,
354
00:15:29,745 --> 00:15:32,612
you know, if you decide
she's a bitch or something.
355
00:15:37,735 --> 00:15:39,819
Hey, girlfriend.
356
00:15:39,821 --> 00:15:41,271
Hey, Amy.
357
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,656
Tonight. You, me, Color Me Mine.
358
00:15:42,658 --> 00:15:46,826
Maybe we sneak in some Pinot--
make it Color Me Wine.
359
00:15:46,828 --> 00:15:49,129
That sounds fun,
but I promised Penny
360
00:15:49,131 --> 00:15:50,497
I'd come by and help her study.
361
00:15:50,499 --> 00:15:53,299
Oh. Well, good luck
getting her to do that.
362
00:15:53,301 --> 00:15:55,969
She's probably off
getting another manicure.
363
00:15:55,971 --> 00:15:57,637
You remember when she did that?
364
00:15:57,639 --> 00:15:59,956
You remember?
365
00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:02,175
I was probably being
too hard on her.
366
00:16:02,177 --> 00:16:03,476
We talked, we're good.
367
00:16:03,478 --> 00:16:05,095
Oh. Great.
368
00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:06,613
I'm happy for you guys.
369
00:16:06,615 --> 00:16:08,398
You know, when the two of you
aren't getting along,
370
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,484
it puts me in a really
weird position.
371
00:16:11,486 --> 00:16:13,670
Well, don't worry--
everything's back to normal.
372
00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:16,773
You mean, like, where she's nice
to your face? Okay got it. Bye.
373
00:16:20,745 --> 00:16:22,846
Hey, boyfriend.
374
00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:24,364
Can't talk. Spitball.
375
00:16:24,366 --> 00:16:26,166
Probably gonna die.
376
00:16:33,007 --> 00:16:34,340
Well?
377
00:16:34,342 --> 00:16:36,209
Sheldon, I-I promise.
378
00:16:36,211 --> 00:16:39,512
Your uvula does not have an STD.
379
00:16:41,265 --> 00:16:43,349
Are you sure?
380
00:16:43,351 --> 00:16:47,387
It just doesn't feel as
innocent as it used to.
381
00:16:49,190 --> 00:16:51,608
You reported me
to human resources?
382
00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:55,562
You violated the sanctity
of my mouth.
383
00:16:55,564 --> 00:16:58,865
Well, I dropped your class,
so I hope you're happy.
384
00:16:58,867 --> 00:17:01,534
I told you you weren't
smart enough to take it.
385
00:17:01,536 --> 00:17:02,485
I'm smart enough, Sheldon.
386
00:17:02,487 --> 00:17:03,570
Asking me a bunch of questions
387
00:17:03,572 --> 00:17:04,788
about a topic
I'm not familiar with
388
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:05,739
doesn't prove anything.
389
00:17:05,741 --> 00:17:06,906
I could do the same to you.
390
00:17:06,908 --> 00:17:08,374
Yeah... Try me.
391
00:17:08,376 --> 00:17:10,960
Okay.
392
00:17:10,962 --> 00:17:14,581
You enjoy making fun
of engineering so much;
393
00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:17,667
how do you quantify
the strength of materials?
394
00:17:17,669 --> 00:17:19,285
Young's modulus.
395
00:17:19,287 --> 00:17:20,854
Is that right?
396
00:17:20,856 --> 00:17:23,123
Yeah.
397
00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:28,061
Okay, how do you prevent
eddy currents in a transformer?
398
00:17:28,063 --> 00:17:30,313
Laminate the core material.
399
00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:31,397
Come on, give
him a hard one.
400
00:17:31,399 --> 00:17:33,266
That was a hard one.
401
00:17:34,435 --> 00:17:36,102
All right.
402
00:17:36,104 --> 00:17:39,689
How does the flow rate in a pipe
depend on its diameter?
403
00:17:40,941 --> 00:17:43,910
You don't know, do you?
404
00:17:45,997 --> 00:17:47,413
What's the matter, smart guy?
405
00:17:47,415 --> 00:17:49,749
Don't know Poiseuille's law?
406
00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:58,792
Thank goodness I got it!
407
00:18:01,245 --> 00:18:03,930
Now I can quit
checking my stool.
408
00:18:07,802 --> 00:18:10,553
Okay, what are the
potential side effects
409
00:18:10,555 --> 00:18:12,655
for our erectile
dysfunction drug?
410
00:18:12,657 --> 00:18:15,141
Headaches, dizziness and nausea.
411
00:18:15,143 --> 00:18:16,276
Yes.
412
00:18:16,278 --> 00:18:17,610
Those are also the side effects
413
00:18:17,612 --> 00:18:19,779
of having a 75-year-old man
with an erection
414
00:18:19,781 --> 00:18:21,481
climb on top of you.
415
00:18:21,483 --> 00:18:23,483
Want to stop here?
416
00:18:23,485 --> 00:18:24,818
Uh, no.
I can keep going.
417
00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:26,019
Nah, you got this.
418
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,487
Let's go for a drink.
I'll call Amy.
419
00:18:27,489 --> 00:18:30,523
Okay, good. She seemed like she
really wanted to go out tonight.
420
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:41,417
Hey, girl.
421
00:18:49,868 --> 00:18:53,904
Okay, next question,
for the Butterfinger:
422
00:18:53,906 --> 00:18:56,590
how long is a galactic yea
423
00:18:56,592 --> 00:18:57,908
250 million years!
424
00:18:57,910 --> 00:18:58,492
Yes!
425
00:19:01,414 --> 00:19:05,749
Okay, this one is
for a Cadbury Creme Egg.
426
00:19:05,751 --> 00:19:07,585
It's not even Easter time.
427
00:19:07,587 --> 00:19:09,753
This is crazy!
428
00:19:10,922 --> 00:19:15,226
Which Archimedean solid
has 20 regular triangular faces,
429
00:19:15,228 --> 00:19:17,828
30 square faces,
12 pentagonal faces,
430
00:19:17,830 --> 00:19:21,549
60 vertices and 120 edges?
431
00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:23,934
The Rhombicosidodecahedron!
432
00:19:23,936 --> 00:19:24,518
Yes!
433
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,939
We are so smart!
434
00:19:28,941 --> 00:19:30,658
Why didn't girls like us
in high school?
435
00:19:30,660 --> 00:19:32,787
Because we were awkward and
weird and couldn't play sports!
436
00:19:32,811 --> 00:19:33,942
Right again!
437
00:19:35,377 --> 00:19:41,377
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man