1
00:00:02,292 --> 00:00:03,555
You'll never believe
what happened to me
2
00:00:03,556 --> 00:00:04,478
at work today.
Hmm?
3
00:00:04,479 --> 00:00:07,480
This old guy was choking on
his food, and I saved his life.
4
00:00:07,482 --> 00:00:08,931
You're kidding.
Did you Heimlich him?
5
00:00:08,933 --> 00:00:11,367
No. I said, "Oh, my God,
I think that old guy's choking,"
6
00:00:11,369 --> 00:00:13,369
and then one of the busboys
Heimlich'ed him.
7
00:00:15,873 --> 00:00:17,440
You're a hero.
8
00:00:17,442 --> 00:00:21,294
Yeah, that was
the point of the story.
9
00:00:21,296 --> 00:00:22,996
Oh, yeah, speaking of work,
do you know
10
00:00:22,998 --> 00:00:24,397
if you have
Thursday night off?
11
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:25,948
Um, I think so. Why?
12
00:00:25,950 --> 00:00:27,950
What do you mean, why?
It's Valentine's Day.
13
00:00:27,952 --> 00:00:29,219
Oh, right.
14
00:00:29,221 --> 00:00:30,503
Yeah, we can do something.
15
00:00:30,505 --> 00:00:33,172
You could be
a little more into it.
16
00:00:33,174 --> 00:00:34,974
No, I'm into it, I'm into it.
17
00:00:34,976 --> 00:00:36,559
Just, there's so much pressure
to make the night special,
18
00:00:36,561 --> 00:00:38,261
and it never works out.
19
00:00:38,263 --> 00:00:40,463
Okay, well, this time
it's going to be different.
20
00:00:40,465 --> 00:00:42,615
Because I am
like a romance ninja.
21
00:00:44,468 --> 00:00:46,236
You don't see it coming,
and then bam!
22
00:00:46,238 --> 00:00:49,439
Romance, watch out, hearts,
kisses, love, ooh-ya!
23
00:00:50,407 --> 00:00:51,974
You know,
sometimes I think I've made you
24
00:00:51,976 --> 00:00:53,643
so much cooler
than you used to be,
25
00:00:53,645 --> 00:00:55,245
and then you go and do that.
26
00:00:57,648 --> 00:00:58,998
So, in conclusion,
27
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,751
I believe the painful
sensation felt
28
00:01:01,753 --> 00:01:04,153
after passing a meal
of spicy chilies
29
00:01:04,155 --> 00:01:08,324
is proof that the rectum does
possess the sense of taste.
30
00:01:13,881 --> 00:01:15,882
I concur, but you
changed the subject.
31
00:01:15,884 --> 00:01:19,052
What are we doing
for Valentine's Day?
32
00:01:19,054 --> 00:01:21,437
Oh, you caught that,
did you?
33
00:01:22,940 --> 00:01:26,392
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
34
00:01:26,394 --> 00:01:29,862
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
35
00:01:29,864 --> 00:01:31,514
♪ The Earth began to cool
36
00:01:31,516 --> 00:01:34,400
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
37
00:01:34,402 --> 00:01:36,602
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
38
00:01:36,604 --> 00:01:39,455
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
39
00:01:39,457 --> 00:01:41,291
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
40
00:01:41,293 --> 00:01:43,092
♪ Bang! ♪
41
00:01:43,117 --> 00:01:47,117
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x16 ♪
The Tangible Affection Proof
Original Air Date on February 14, 2013
42
00:01:47,142 --> 00:01:52,142
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
43
00:01:53,192 --> 00:01:54,909
Okay.
44
00:01:55,261 --> 00:01:56,295
Okay.
45
00:01:58,131 --> 00:01:59,381
Okay.
46
00:02:00,383 --> 00:02:01,600
Okay.
47
00:02:02,285 --> 00:02:04,219
Okay!
48
00:02:07,340 --> 00:02:08,490
Okay.
49
00:02:11,637 --> 00:02:12,969
Everything okay?
50
00:02:16,691 --> 00:02:18,392
Bernie's a little cranky
51
00:02:18,394 --> 00:02:20,510
since she's been working,
like, 17 hours a day.
52
00:02:20,512 --> 00:02:23,029
And I've got a lot on my plate,
too, because I've been
53
00:02:23,031 --> 00:02:25,115
busting my tail
playing Assassin's Creed.
54
00:02:25,117 --> 00:02:26,733
Hey, Stuart,
55
00:02:26,735 --> 00:02:28,402
you got anything going on
for Valentine's Day?
56
00:02:28,404 --> 00:02:29,686
Not really.
57
00:02:29,688 --> 00:02:32,188
Other than hiding all
the sharp objects around here
58
00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:34,875
and white-knuckling it
till morning.
59
00:02:34,877 --> 00:02:36,042
What do you got going on?
60
00:02:36,044 --> 00:02:38,361
Oh, well, I was going
to spend the night
61
00:02:38,363 --> 00:02:40,163
with my special little lady,
but, uh,
62
00:02:40,165 --> 00:02:43,867
she got worms, and then I
had to take her to the vet.
63
00:02:47,138 --> 00:02:48,588
There must be something
we can do.
64
00:02:48,590 --> 00:02:51,591
Well, uh, how about you keep
the store open late,
65
00:02:51,593 --> 00:02:53,593
and we throw a party
for all the people
66
00:02:53,595 --> 00:02:54,594
who don't have dates?
67
00:02:54,596 --> 00:02:57,013
That actually sounds
kind of nice.
68
00:02:57,015 --> 00:02:58,899
Yeah, the theme will be
that the greatest love
69
00:02:58,901 --> 00:03:03,103
a man can have
is the love he has with himself.
70
00:03:04,622 --> 00:03:06,189
That's good.
71
00:03:06,191 --> 00:03:10,994
Or maybe something a little less
"hand in the pants."
72
00:03:13,197 --> 00:03:14,531
Oh, Alex, excellent.
73
00:03:14,533 --> 00:03:16,917
I have a research problem
74
00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:18,785
that I believe
you can help with.
75
00:03:18,787 --> 00:03:20,504
Oh, Dr. Cooper, thank you.
76
00:03:20,506 --> 00:03:22,289
I've been waiting
for an opportunity
77
00:03:22,291 --> 00:03:24,174
to contribute
to your scientific work.
78
00:03:24,176 --> 00:03:27,677
Oh, no, no.
That's not going to happen, no.
79
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,966
What I need you to do
is find a Valentine's gift
80
00:03:32,968 --> 00:03:35,352
for my girlfriend.
81
00:03:35,354 --> 00:03:37,354
You realize I passed up
an opportunity
82
00:03:37,356 --> 00:03:40,273
to work at Fermilab
to take this job with you.
83
00:03:40,275 --> 00:03:43,977
Well, I guess those chaps
will have to have
84
00:03:43,979 --> 00:03:46,229
someone else buy
their girlfriends presents.
85
00:03:46,231 --> 00:03:47,447
Now, here is...
86
00:03:47,449 --> 00:03:50,150
Let's see.
87
00:03:50,152 --> 00:03:51,651
This is...
88
00:03:55,223 --> 00:03:57,357
This is about $2,000.
89
00:03:57,359 --> 00:03:58,959
Um, I think
90
00:03:58,961 --> 00:04:02,879
she likes monkeys
and the color gray.
91
00:04:09,003 --> 00:04:11,338
Contribute to my work.
92
00:04:13,090 --> 00:04:17,460
Ah, kids say
the darnedest things.
93
00:04:19,564 --> 00:04:20,847
Hey, you coming
to lunch?
94
00:04:20,849 --> 00:04:21,932
Yeah, one second.
95
00:04:21,934 --> 00:04:23,266
Come here. I want
to show you something.
96
00:04:23,268 --> 00:04:24,300
What you looking at?
97
00:04:24,302 --> 00:04:26,353
Well, I was trying
to come up with something
98
00:04:26,355 --> 00:04:28,638
really romantic
to give Bernadette
99
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:29,990
for Valentine's Day
since she's been
100
00:04:29,992 --> 00:04:32,492
such a pain in the ass.
101
00:04:35,145 --> 00:04:37,697
You can't find a
card that says that?
102
00:04:37,699 --> 00:04:39,165
Check it out.
103
00:04:39,167 --> 00:04:40,834
I used the
atomic force microscope
104
00:04:40,836 --> 00:04:44,421
in the material science lab
and wrote our initials
105
00:04:44,423 --> 00:04:47,541
in a heart 1/1,000
the size of a grain of sand.
106
00:04:48,509 --> 00:04:50,677
Oh, that's cool.
107
00:04:50,679 --> 00:04:55,348
A micro-valentine
for a microbiologist.
108
00:04:55,350 --> 00:04:58,101
From her micro-husband.
109
00:05:01,672 --> 00:05:02,689
That is amazing.
110
00:05:02,691 --> 00:05:04,558
How long did this take you?
111
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,810
Mmm, about 12 hours.
112
00:05:06,812 --> 00:05:08,278
I pulled an all-nighter.
113
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:09,345
Oh, wow.
114
00:05:09,347 --> 00:05:11,197
Yeah, I know,
it really took a bite
115
00:05:11,199 --> 00:05:13,483
out of my video game time.
116
00:05:13,485 --> 00:05:15,318
What are you
and Penny doing?
117
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,654
Oh, I'm going to take her to
a nice restaurant for dinner.
118
00:05:17,656 --> 00:05:21,024
Oh, that's not bad,
but as far as romance goes,
119
00:05:21,026 --> 00:05:23,543
I think my gift hits it
right out of...
120
00:05:27,381 --> 00:05:29,215
Want to come to
dinner with us?
121
00:05:29,217 --> 00:05:30,884
Yes, please.
122
00:05:32,970 --> 00:05:34,370
Okay.
123
00:05:34,372 --> 00:05:36,256
Amy will be
here shortly,
124
00:05:36,258 --> 00:05:39,676
expecting the perfect
Valentine's gift, so...
125
00:05:39,678 --> 00:05:41,011
you're up kid.
126
00:05:41,013 --> 00:05:43,096
Dazzle me. Go.
127
00:05:43,098 --> 00:05:45,682
Okay, I think I have
some really great choices.
128
00:05:45,684 --> 00:05:47,651
I went on Amy's
Facebook page
129
00:05:47,653 --> 00:05:49,352
and read up on her interests.
130
00:05:49,354 --> 00:05:52,022
Now, see, I never would have
thought to do that.
131
00:05:53,057 --> 00:05:54,491
Clearly, I made a good choice
132
00:05:54,493 --> 00:05:55,725
farming this out to you.
133
00:05:55,727 --> 00:05:58,411
But I am telling you,
Amy hit the boyfriend jackpot.
134
00:05:58,413 --> 00:06:01,197
Anyway, my socks are on.
135
00:06:01,199 --> 00:06:02,749
Let's knock them off.
136
00:06:07,588 --> 00:06:09,873
Well, um, I know she loves
playing the harp,
137
00:06:09,875 --> 00:06:14,928
so I found this
beautiful music box
138
00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:16,846
that plays one
of her favorite songs.
139
00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:21,952
Now, Amy already
has a real harp.
140
00:06:23,020 --> 00:06:25,755
And it can play any song.
141
00:06:25,757 --> 00:06:28,358
What are you trying
to pull here?
142
00:06:29,126 --> 00:06:30,644
No, I just thought
it would be...
143
00:06:30,646 --> 00:06:32,562
Next.
144
00:06:33,397 --> 00:06:34,731
Okay.
145
00:06:34,733 --> 00:06:37,067
Um, I know she's a fan
of The Canterbury Tales,
146
00:06:37,069 --> 00:06:40,320
Mmm.
so I found...
147
00:06:40,322 --> 00:06:41,905
this cool map
148
00:06:41,907 --> 00:06:43,907
that illustrates the character's
journey through England.
149
00:06:43,909 --> 00:06:46,275
I thought we could put it
in a really nice frame.
150
00:06:46,277 --> 00:06:50,630
But she's got Google Maps
on her phone.
151
00:06:54,368 --> 00:06:56,452
I don't know
how to respond to that.
152
00:06:57,838 --> 00:06:59,923
Well, I hope it's
with a third good option,
153
00:06:59,925 --> 00:07:02,592
because these first two... blah.
154
00:07:04,395 --> 00:07:06,312
Okay.
155
00:07:06,314 --> 00:07:09,232
Well, uh, luckily,
I saved the best for last.
156
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:11,351
Since Amy's a neuroscientist,
157
00:07:11,353 --> 00:07:13,186
I did some research
and found out
158
00:07:13,188 --> 00:07:14,804
that Santiago Ramón y Cajal,
159
00:07:14,806 --> 00:07:16,806
the father
of modern neuroscience,
160
00:07:16,808 --> 00:07:19,359
did lots of hand drawings
of brain cells.
161
00:07:19,361 --> 00:07:22,145
And I managed
to find
162
00:07:22,147 --> 00:07:25,582
this signed print.
163
00:07:25,584 --> 00:07:27,834
Wow.
164
00:07:27,836 --> 00:07:29,619
Oh, this is truly remarkable.
165
00:07:29,621 --> 00:07:31,538
Thank you.
166
00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:33,006
I think I'll keep it for myself.
167
00:07:36,844 --> 00:07:38,327
What about your girlfriend?
168
00:07:38,329 --> 00:07:40,130
It's too late.
I call dibs.
169
00:07:44,351 --> 00:07:46,970
This place is
really beautiful.
170
00:07:46,972 --> 00:07:49,222
Wah... romance ninja.
171
00:07:52,309 --> 00:07:53,359
Hey.
172
00:07:53,361 --> 00:07:55,061
Sorry we're late.
173
00:07:55,063 --> 00:07:56,446
No problem.
We just sat down.
174
00:07:56,448 --> 00:07:58,181
Mmm, would you like some wine?
175
00:07:58,183 --> 00:07:59,365
Yeah, fill her up.
176
00:08:01,685 --> 00:08:03,686
I'll tell you when to stop.
177
00:08:05,890 --> 00:08:07,290
Is everything okay?
178
00:08:07,292 --> 00:08:09,025
Terrific.
Couldn't be better.
179
00:08:09,027 --> 00:08:10,660
Oh, bite me.
180
00:08:12,496 --> 00:08:14,214
Look, we can still
have a nice night.
181
00:08:14,216 --> 00:08:15,498
Just tell me where it is.
182
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:16,666
Maybe if you did what you said
183
00:08:16,668 --> 00:08:18,218
you were going to do,
I'd tell you.
184
00:08:19,003 --> 00:08:20,369
Uh, where what is?
185
00:08:20,371 --> 00:08:22,839
She hid my Xbox
like I'm a child.
186
00:08:24,058 --> 00:08:26,226
Yeah, and my mom got me
that for my birthday,
187
00:08:26,228 --> 00:08:28,711
so if you don't give
it back, I'm telling.
188
00:08:29,930 --> 00:08:31,547
I've been working
late every night.
189
00:08:31,549 --> 00:08:33,099
All I asked was that he
190
00:08:33,101 --> 00:08:34,851
clean the apartment
and do one load of laundry.
191
00:08:34,853 --> 00:08:36,069
But did he do it? No.
192
00:08:36,071 --> 00:08:37,887
He just kept on
playing that stupid game.
193
00:08:37,889 --> 00:08:39,522
You like pushing
buttons so much,
194
00:08:39,524 --> 00:08:41,991
try pushing them
on the washing machine.
195
00:08:43,727 --> 00:08:45,328
I said I'm sorry.
196
00:08:45,330 --> 00:08:48,414
Sorry doesn't clean
my underpants, buddy.
197
00:08:49,450 --> 00:08:52,669
I told you, turn
them inside out.
198
00:08:52,671 --> 00:08:55,905
And I told you to bite me.
199
00:08:55,907 --> 00:08:59,575
Trying to have
a magical night here, guys.
200
00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:04,580
Oh, son of a bitch.
201
00:09:04,582 --> 00:09:05,965
What?
202
00:09:05,967 --> 00:09:07,383
Nothing. Nothing.
203
00:09:07,385 --> 00:09:08,551
No, tell me.
204
00:09:08,553 --> 00:09:10,920
It's just this guy
I used to date.
205
00:09:11,755 --> 00:09:12,922
Oh.
206
00:09:12,924 --> 00:09:14,941
Until he cheated on me
with my friend Gretchen,
207
00:09:14,943 --> 00:09:16,442
who's here with him now.
208
00:09:16,444 --> 00:09:17,694
You're kidding.
209
00:09:17,696 --> 00:09:20,747
And it looks like she lost
a lot of weight, damn it.
210
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:24,284
I know it's not ideal,
211
00:09:24,286 --> 00:09:25,785
but don't let them
ruin our night.
212
00:09:25,787 --> 00:09:27,036
No, you're totally right.
213
00:09:27,038 --> 00:09:29,539
She could be skinny
'cause she's dying.
214
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,608
That's the spirit.
215
00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:33,877
You know what, screw them.
216
00:09:33,879 --> 00:09:35,611
Our night is going to be
way more special than theirs.
217
00:09:35,613 --> 00:09:37,280
Yeah.
218
00:09:38,582 --> 00:09:39,749
Uh-oh.
219
00:09:40,718 --> 00:09:42,418
What?
220
00:09:43,287 --> 00:09:46,589
Oh, you got to be kidding me.
221
00:09:46,591 --> 00:09:47,557
Oh, my God, yes.
222
00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:48,842
Of course
I'll marry you.
223
00:09:51,262 --> 00:09:52,543
Two can play this game.
224
00:09:52,545 --> 00:09:53,456
Penny...
Get up.
225
00:09:53,457 --> 00:09:55,007
All right.
226
00:10:05,401 --> 00:10:06,935
It's nice that
all the people
227
00:10:06,937 --> 00:10:08,437
who are lonely
on Valentine's Day
228
00:10:08,439 --> 00:10:10,439
can come here tonight
and be together.
229
00:10:10,441 --> 00:10:13,108
Yeah, I'm really
looking forward to it.
230
00:10:13,110 --> 00:10:15,861
In fact, there's no place
I would rather be than here.
231
00:10:15,863 --> 00:10:17,645
Except on a date with anybody.
232
00:10:17,647 --> 00:10:19,364
Literally anybody.
233
00:10:20,816 --> 00:10:23,201
You know, you and I have
so much fun hanging out.
234
00:10:23,203 --> 00:10:24,336
If you were a girl,
235
00:10:24,338 --> 00:10:26,371
all our problems
would be solved.
236
00:10:29,776 --> 00:10:31,143
What?
237
00:10:31,145 --> 00:10:32,594
Oh, yeah, think about it.
238
00:10:32,596 --> 00:10:33,995
We'd hang out,
239
00:10:33,997 --> 00:10:36,048
we'd read comic books,
we'd see movies.
240
00:10:36,050 --> 00:10:38,666
It'd be like the best
relationship ever.
241
00:10:38,668 --> 00:10:41,219
That does sound nice.
242
00:10:41,221 --> 00:10:43,838
Then I'd take you home,
slip off your little black dress
243
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,175
and just pile-drive you
into oblivion.
244
00:10:49,529 --> 00:10:51,329
What?
245
00:10:52,482 --> 00:10:54,232
Oh, I can't believe
246
00:10:54,234 --> 00:10:57,202
he's going to marry the girl
he cheated on me with.
247
00:10:57,204 --> 00:10:58,236
Isn't it kind of nice?
248
00:10:58,238 --> 00:10:59,854
I mean, he was with
the wrong person,
249
00:10:59,856 --> 00:11:01,239
and now he found
the right person.
250
00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:02,991
What, so I'm the wrong person?
251
00:11:02,993 --> 00:11:05,210
Maybe you want to be
with Gretchen, too.
252
00:11:06,629 --> 00:11:08,663
They do look happy.
253
00:11:08,665 --> 00:11:09,864
Yeah, maybe tonight.
254
00:11:09,866 --> 00:11:11,216
But a year from
now, he'll be
255
00:11:11,218 --> 00:11:13,835
crawling under the sink
looking for his Xbox.
256
00:11:14,703 --> 00:11:16,538
Well, he will.
257
00:11:17,706 --> 00:11:19,975
You know what? Why don't we
just forget about them
258
00:11:19,977 --> 00:11:21,543
and enjoy our Valentine's Day?
259
00:11:21,545 --> 00:11:23,261
Yes, absolutely.
260
00:11:29,236 --> 00:11:30,602
Now they're doing that phony
261
00:11:30,604 --> 00:11:32,854
link-arm-drink thingy.
262
00:11:32,856 --> 00:11:35,907
I totally taught him that.
263
00:11:36,743 --> 00:11:38,493
I thought we were
letting it go.
264
00:11:38,495 --> 00:11:40,779
We were; it's just...
it's not fair, okay?
265
00:11:40,781 --> 00:11:41,997
They're bad people.
266
00:11:41,999 --> 00:11:43,365
It's not supposed to end
happy for them;
267
00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:44,750
it's supposed to end
happy for me.
268
00:11:44,752 --> 00:11:46,535
Um...
269
00:11:46,537 --> 00:11:47,953
it did end happy for you.
270
00:11:47,955 --> 00:11:48,920
You're here with me.
271
00:11:48,922 --> 00:11:51,506
Yeah, yeah, I know.
272
00:11:51,508 --> 00:11:54,042
Okay, this is getting a little
hard to not take personally.
273
00:11:54,044 --> 00:11:55,594
Oh, come on, don't
make this about you.
274
00:11:55,596 --> 00:11:57,179
Oh, I'm not.
It's about you.
275
00:11:57,181 --> 00:11:58,263
Yeah, well, whatever, okay?
276
00:11:58,265 --> 00:11:59,798
I told you,
Valentine's Day sucks.
277
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,767
This one does,
and you're the reason why.
278
00:12:01,769 --> 00:12:03,185
What?
279
00:12:03,187 --> 00:12:05,470
You know, compared to them,
280
00:12:05,472 --> 00:12:06,805
I'm feeling
pretty good about us.
281
00:12:06,807 --> 00:12:08,390
Me, too.
282
00:12:08,392 --> 00:12:11,143
How about we blow off
dessert, go home early...
283
00:12:11,145 --> 00:12:12,227
I'll do that laundry.
284
00:12:12,229 --> 00:12:13,595
Thank you.
285
00:12:13,597 --> 00:12:14,563
I love you.
286
00:12:14,565 --> 00:12:16,598
Love you, too.
287
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,700
So where'd you hide it?
288
00:12:18,702 --> 00:12:20,619
Where you'd never look.
289
00:12:20,621 --> 00:12:23,872
Damn it, it's in the
washing machine.
290
00:12:30,779 --> 00:12:31,779
Hello.
291
00:12:31,781 --> 00:12:33,465
Hello.
292
00:12:33,467 --> 00:12:35,050
Happy Valentine's Day.
293
00:12:35,052 --> 00:12:37,586
Okay.
294
00:12:39,555 --> 00:12:40,955
Shall we go to dinner?
295
00:12:40,957 --> 00:12:42,624
Hang on.
296
00:12:42,626 --> 00:12:44,926
As you know, I had planned
a traditional evening
297
00:12:44,928 --> 00:12:46,428
of romance and gifts.
298
00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:47,646
Yes,
299
00:12:47,648 --> 00:12:48,796
and as you know,
300
00:12:48,798 --> 00:12:51,433
I planned to pretend
to enjoy it.
301
00:12:52,568 --> 00:12:55,153
I've been working on
this facial expression all day.
302
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,991
And I appreciate your effort,
303
00:12:59,993 --> 00:13:01,476
but upon contemplation,
304
00:13:01,478 --> 00:13:03,445
I decided I was being selfish.
305
00:13:03,447 --> 00:13:05,747
So, I canceled
our dinner reservations
306
00:13:05,749 --> 00:13:07,599
and came up
with an even better way
307
00:13:07,601 --> 00:13:09,167
to celebrate Valentine's Day.
308
00:13:09,169 --> 00:13:11,002
What is that?
309
00:13:11,004 --> 00:13:12,287
By doing none of it--
310
00:13:12,289 --> 00:13:13,455
no dinner,
311
00:13:13,457 --> 00:13:15,173
no romance, no gifts.
312
00:13:15,175 --> 00:13:17,792
We stay here,
order a pizza
313
00:13:17,794 --> 00:13:19,678
and watch one
of your beloved
314
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,880
Star War Trek things.
315
00:13:23,049 --> 00:13:24,216
Really?
316
00:13:24,218 --> 00:13:25,567
Well, that's what
317
00:13:25,569 --> 00:13:26,701
you'd love, isn't it?
318
00:13:26,703 --> 00:13:28,336
More than anything.
319
00:13:28,338 --> 00:13:30,405
Well, then...
320
00:13:30,407 --> 00:13:32,340
that's what we're going to do.
321
00:13:34,227 --> 00:13:35,360
Well...
322
00:13:35,362 --> 00:13:37,312
I don't know what to say.
323
00:13:37,314 --> 00:13:39,847
This is the most thoughtful gift
324
00:13:39,849 --> 00:13:42,016
that anyone's ever given me.
325
00:13:42,018 --> 00:13:43,818
And that's including
an amazing gift
326
00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:45,737
that I gave myself
earlier today.
327
00:13:47,907 --> 00:13:50,325
I'm your girlfriend.
That's my job.
328
00:13:50,327 --> 00:13:53,962
And I know gift-giving
puts a lot of pressure on you,
329
00:13:53,964 --> 00:13:57,198
so whatever you got me,
you can return.
330
00:13:58,801 --> 00:14:00,418
No.
331
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:03,221
No, after everything you
didn't do for me tonight,
332
00:14:03,223 --> 00:14:04,973
I want you to have it.
333
00:14:05,892 --> 00:14:06,825
What's this?
334
00:14:06,827 --> 00:14:08,543
Read it.
335
00:14:08,545 --> 00:14:09,844
"Sheldon Cooper,
336
00:14:09,846 --> 00:14:12,314
Caltech University
employee information"?
337
00:14:12,316 --> 00:14:13,515
At the bottom.
338
00:14:13,517 --> 00:14:17,435
"In case of emergency,
please contact...
339
00:14:17,437 --> 00:14:19,654
Amy Farrah Fowler."
340
00:14:21,774 --> 00:14:23,942
And there's my phone number.
341
00:14:26,913 --> 00:14:31,116
This is the most beautiful gift
you could've ever given me.
342
00:14:31,118 --> 00:14:32,617
Well, I thought,
343
00:14:32,619 --> 00:14:36,671
if I have a stroke
or a kidney stone,
344
00:14:36,673 --> 00:14:38,906
who would I want
to share that with?
345
00:14:42,428 --> 00:14:44,963
And you picked me.
346
00:14:44,965 --> 00:14:46,815
It's like you said--
347
00:14:46,817 --> 00:14:48,550
you're my girlfriend.
348
00:14:48,552 --> 00:14:49,884
Oh, Sheldon.
349
00:14:49,886 --> 00:14:51,686
Yeah...
350
00:14:54,607 --> 00:14:56,491
Okay.
351
00:14:56,493 --> 00:14:59,394
Stop ruining Valentine's Day
and order my pizza.
352
00:15:04,533 --> 00:15:05,600
Night.
353
00:15:05,602 --> 00:15:06,885
Yep.
354
00:15:15,328 --> 00:15:16,944
You know what?
355
00:15:16,946 --> 00:15:18,296
That was pretty
crappy of you.
356
00:15:18,298 --> 00:15:21,633
I mean, all I wanted to do
was give you a great night,
357
00:15:21,635 --> 00:15:24,169
and it's like you-you went out
of your way to destroy it.
358
00:15:24,171 --> 00:15:25,420
Yeah, I know.
359
00:15:25,422 --> 00:15:26,755
I'm a total bitch.
360
00:15:26,757 --> 00:15:28,573
I'm not saying that.
Well, I am.
361
00:15:28,575 --> 00:15:30,592
Fine, you win.
You're a bitch.
362
00:15:32,595 --> 00:15:35,146
Why couldn't we
just have a nice time?
363
00:15:35,148 --> 00:15:37,599
I don't know.
364
00:15:37,601 --> 00:15:40,352
Maybe 'cause things are going
so well between us lately
365
00:15:40,354 --> 00:15:42,303
and I've been really happy.
366
00:15:48,110 --> 00:15:51,830
Okay, you're gonna have to make
a lot more sense than that.
367
00:15:51,832 --> 00:15:55,650
Obviously, I have
some commitment issues.
368
00:15:55,652 --> 00:15:58,203
Glaringly obvious.
Go on.
369
00:15:58,205 --> 00:15:59,987
As long as things keep going
great between us,
370
00:15:59,989 --> 00:16:01,423
you'll keep asking me
to marry you,
371
00:16:01,425 --> 00:16:02,957
and eventually I'm gonna
end up saying yes,
372
00:16:02,959 --> 00:16:04,592
and then we're gonna be
married forever,
373
00:16:04,594 --> 00:16:07,429
and the whole thing
just freaks me out.
374
00:16:09,349 --> 00:16:11,466
Okay.
375
00:16:11,468 --> 00:16:13,718
I know I propose a lot.
376
00:16:17,523 --> 00:16:19,724
So how about this?
377
00:16:21,310 --> 00:16:24,896
I promise I will never ask you
to marry me again.
378
00:16:24,898 --> 00:16:26,815
What... what do you mean?
379
00:16:26,817 --> 00:16:28,366
Are you breaking up with me?
380
00:16:28,368 --> 00:16:29,401
No.
381
00:16:29,403 --> 00:16:30,568
No, no, no, no.
382
00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:33,121
But if someday you decide
you want to get married,
383
00:16:33,123 --> 00:16:34,873
you have to propose to me.
384
00:16:35,674 --> 00:16:37,525
Really?
Yes.
385
00:16:37,527 --> 00:16:39,377
It's all on you.
386
00:16:39,379 --> 00:16:41,529
But I got to tell you,
when the time comes,
387
00:16:41,531 --> 00:16:42,714
I want the whole nine yards.
388
00:16:42,716 --> 00:16:44,416
I want you down
on one knee, flowers.
389
00:16:44,418 --> 00:16:46,501
I want to be swept off my feet.
390
00:16:48,771 --> 00:16:50,071
Yeah, you got it.
391
00:16:50,073 --> 00:16:51,256
And I'm cool with surprises.
392
00:16:51,258 --> 00:16:54,325
But nothing on a Jumbotron.
393
00:16:54,327 --> 00:16:57,062
I don't want to cry
on a big screen like that.
394
00:16:59,265 --> 00:17:00,482
Okay.
395
00:17:02,852 --> 00:17:04,319
You know what?
396
00:17:04,321 --> 00:17:06,220
This might be the wine talking,
397
00:17:06,222 --> 00:17:09,574
but I have a very important
question to ask you.
398
00:17:10,443 --> 00:17:11,926
You do?
399
00:17:12,762 --> 00:17:14,629
Leonard Hofstadter...
400
00:17:15,464 --> 00:17:16,664
Yes?
401
00:17:18,267 --> 00:17:20,902
...will you be my valentine?
402
00:17:22,838 --> 00:17:24,622
Sorry. Maybe next year.
403
00:17:27,793 --> 00:17:28,927
I'm just kidding!
404
00:17:28,929 --> 00:17:31,463
Romance ninja.
Let's have sex! Wah!
405
00:17:36,136 --> 00:17:37,602
Thank you, guys,
for doing this.
406
00:17:37,604 --> 00:17:39,270
We're glad you
could make it.
407
00:17:39,272 --> 00:17:42,273
Usually I spend Valentine's Day
sad and alone.
408
00:17:42,275 --> 00:17:44,759
This year, I'm just sad.
409
00:17:47,095 --> 00:17:49,430
What is it about this holiday
that makes people so unhappy?
410
00:17:49,432 --> 00:17:50,398
I know.
411
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,117
I hate myself
most of the time,
412
00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:55,737
but tonight's the night
I know everyone else does, too.
413
00:17:55,739 --> 00:17:57,956
I think you're cool.
414
00:17:58,791 --> 00:18:00,992
Great.
415
00:18:03,045 --> 00:18:04,546
I got to tell you,
416
00:18:04,548 --> 00:18:07,281
we've got to stop beating
ourselves up like this.
417
00:18:08,801 --> 00:18:10,702
Excuse me, everybody.
418
00:18:10,704 --> 00:18:12,270
Can I have your attention,
please?
419
00:18:17,393 --> 00:18:19,594
We're all here tonight
because...
420
00:18:19,596 --> 00:18:22,180
we have no one to be with.
421
00:18:22,182 --> 00:18:26,985
But... that doesn't
make us mutants.
422
00:18:26,987 --> 00:18:29,988
The only mutants here
are in these comic books.
423
00:18:31,857 --> 00:18:35,076
We've got to stop defining
our self-worth
424
00:18:35,078 --> 00:18:37,662
by whether or not
we're in a relationship.
425
00:18:38,664 --> 00:18:40,949
You know what I see
when I look around?
426
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:44,035
I see a room
full of great people.
427
00:18:46,105 --> 00:18:48,339
So let's give ourselves a break.
428
00:18:48,341 --> 00:18:50,592
We are a community,
429
00:18:50,594 --> 00:18:51,759
and as long
as we have
430
00:18:51,761 --> 00:18:53,344
each other,
431
00:18:53,346 --> 00:18:55,496
we're never truly alone.
432
00:19:02,721 --> 00:19:04,005
That was cool.
433
00:19:04,007 --> 00:19:05,857
What you said.
434
00:19:05,859 --> 00:19:08,109
You really think so?
435
00:19:08,111 --> 00:19:09,727
Yeah, I do.
436
00:19:09,729 --> 00:19:10,895
Thank you.
437
00:19:13,415 --> 00:19:15,033
Uh...
438
00:19:15,035 --> 00:19:16,350
Would you like to, uh...
439
00:19:16,352 --> 00:19:19,404
get a cup...
a cup of coffee or...?
440
00:19:19,406 --> 00:19:21,239
Okay.
441
00:19:26,712 --> 00:19:28,746
Later, losers!
442
00:19:45,138 --> 00:19:47,389
Hello?
443
00:19:47,391 --> 00:19:49,208
Another medical emergency?
444
00:19:49,210 --> 00:19:52,044
What's wrong with him now?
445
00:19:52,046 --> 00:19:55,948
I seriously doubt he was bitten
by a Chinese bird spider.
446
00:19:57,567 --> 00:20:00,185
How exactly does a bump
feel Asian?
447
00:20:01,821 --> 00:20:04,072
Just put him on the phone.
448
00:20:04,074 --> 00:20:06,358
Sheldon, I am not driving
over there again.
449
00:20:07,193 --> 00:20:08,744
Because I drove
over there yesterday
450
00:20:08,746 --> 00:20:10,712
for a brain tumor
that turned out to be
451
00:20:10,714 --> 00:20:12,998
an ice cream headache.
452
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:17,085
Yes, I still want to be
your emergency contact.
453
00:20:18,555 --> 00:20:21,807
Yes, you can eat
your ice cream too fast
454
00:20:21,809 --> 00:20:24,009
and also have a brain tumor.
455
00:20:26,879 --> 00:20:29,047
I'm on my way.
456
00:20:30,817 --> 00:20:32,518
Brain tumor
would explain a lot.
457
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:37,520
== sync, corrected by elderman ==