1
00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:05,381
Thanks for letting me put
Halley in your room.

2
00:00:05,548 --> 00:00:06,549
Oh, no problem.

3
00:00:06,716 --> 00:00:09,010
And Penny, she kinda threw up
on your stuffed bear.

4
00:00:09,594 --> 00:00:10,761
Oh, that's okay.

5
00:00:10,845 --> 00:00:12,680
Hey, (STUTTERS)
that's an Ewok and it's mine.

6
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:14,140
Yeah, which is why it's okay.

7
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:18,686
See, he gets Ewoks in his bed.

8
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,105
You've got Chewbacca, that's enough.

9
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:25,484
I used to have the stuffed raccoon
from Guardians of the Galaxy

10
00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:27,486
but Cinnamon licked it raw.

11
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,701
There's a time and place
for your randy dog stories

12
00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:36,329
and it's never and nowhere.

13
00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:41,459
Yeah, no more stories about sex,
so Amy, that brings us to you.

14
00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:44,086
Well, at work we've been doing

15
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:45,922
some interesting research
with neuroprosthetics.

16
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:48,299
Neat. I've been re-watching The O.C.,

17
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,426
so we're all leading productive lives.

18
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:53,971
We've been working
on a computer interface

19
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:56,807
that can use brain wave patterns
to control robotic limbs,

20
00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:59,769
but we're having a little trouble
localizing the signal from the EEG cap.

21
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:02,730
Oh, well, have you thought about adding
a phased array of sensors

22
00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:03,940
for better localization?

23
00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:06,442
Actually, that never occurred to me.

24
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:09,612
It never occurred to me
I would miss the Ewok conversation.

25
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:14,659
Good, 'cause I just bought
another one on Amazon.

26
00:01:16,661 --> 00:01:19,080
You know, I could use
an engineer on this project.

27
00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:21,791
Well, now, this works out great.
Howard's an engineer.

28
00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:24,001
- (HOWARD CHUCKLES)
- I'm sure he knows someone qualified.

29
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,004
She's talking about me, Sheldon.

30
00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:28,214
I'm perfectly qualified.

31
00:01:28,631 --> 00:01:30,675
Yeah, Howie's the world's best engineer.

32
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,426
It says so right on his coffee mug.

33
00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:36,055
- Aw, you got him a mug?
- I did.

34
00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:39,558
But it's not a competition.

35
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,603
Yeah, I lost that battle years ago.

36
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:45,982
So, Howard, are you interested?

37
00:01:46,399 --> 00:01:49,443
Are you kidding? If I could control
robot arms with my brain

38
00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:51,362
I'd be able to do so many things.

39
00:01:51,696 --> 00:01:54,782
Really? Because you've been controlling
human arms with your brain for years

40
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,033
and not much has come of it.

41
00:01:57,994 --> 00:02:00,621
(THEME SONG PLAYING)

42
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,730
Hey, what you reading?

43
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,023
A parenting book.

44
00:02:27,565 --> 00:02:28,858
Oh, my God. (STUTTERS) Are we...

45
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,276
What? No.

46
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,779
You think this is how I would tell you?

47
00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:37,533
Well, (STAMMERS) you're sitting there
with a book.

48
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:38,826
It felt like anything was possible.

49
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:39,994
I don't know.

50
00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,333
Bernadette left it here.

51
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:46,834
Oh, yeah? Anything interesting?

52
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,337
Well, I just saw a picture
of a baby's head crowning,

53
00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:51,630
so I hope you enjoyed sex,
because we're done with that.

54
00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,134
Hello.

55
00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:56,218
- Hey, Sheldon, what's up?
- Hi.

56
00:02:56,677 --> 00:03:00,139
Remember how disappointed you were
when Amy started driving me to work?

57
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:02,141
Sure the...

58
00:03:03,476 --> 00:03:06,645
Sometimes people smile
a big smile of disappointment.

59
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,647
Yeah, well, good news,

60
00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:11,067
Amy had to go in early
to show Howard around her lab,

61
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,610
so you get to drive me.

62
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:17,323
Aw, his smile of disappointment
has turned into a frown of joy.

63
00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:20,659
It's fine.
I've been driving him for years,

64
00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:21,827
what's one more day?

65
00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:23,788
Oh, and I got
a new car game we can play.

66
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,039
It's called, "What siren am I?"

67
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:26,207
Kill me.

68
00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:31,295
Amy, your lab is amazing.

69
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:33,547
A C-arm fluoroscope.

70
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:36,217
A cranial ultrasound.

71
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,510
(GASPS)

72
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:39,011
And look at that coffee maker.

73
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:44,100
I know. On our expense report,
I listed it as

74
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,644
"Eduardo," my Colombian lab assistant.

75
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:51,065
- (TSKS) So, this is it?
- Yes.

76
00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:53,150
We're using it to map brainwave patterns

77
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,027
and then converting them
into electrical impulses

78
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,696
that can be used to control anything
from wheelchairs to robots.

79
00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,323
Based on that ring on your finger,

80
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,492
I'd say you're pretty good
at controlling robots. (CHUCKLES)

81
00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:04,370
Careful, that's my fiancé
you're talking about

82
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,539
and I can program him to hurt you.

83
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,336
(IMITATES SIREN SOUNDS)

84
00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:21,470
I don't know, (STUTTERS) French police?

85
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:25,724
Oh, so close. Belgian ambulance.

86
00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:28,978
All right. You ready for your next one?

87
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:31,021
And just a warning,
this one's a little annoying.

88
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:32,356
(IMITATES SIREN SOUNDS)

89
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,526
All right, all right. Let's take
a little break. I'm getting a headache.

90
00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:36,861
Oh.

91
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,612
Right in the middle of our fun game.

92
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:41,824
Yeah, weird.

93
00:04:43,159 --> 00:04:46,704
So, Howard and Amy working together,
that's interesting, huh?

94
00:04:47,163 --> 00:04:48,914
Eh, it's all right, I suppose.

95
00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:50,791
When usually when Amy complains

96
00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:52,626
about her co-workers
I just tune her out,

97
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:55,212
but now I'll be able to join in
and pound away.

98
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,757
You're not jealous of Howard, are you?

99
00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:00,843
You... Of course not.

100
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,511
The only engineer I'm jealous of

101
00:05:02,595 --> 00:05:04,263
is the one who blows the train whistle.

102
00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:06,765
Ooh, that just gave me an idea
for a new game,

103
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,267
"What whistle am I?"

104
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:09,393
Train.

105
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:14,064
For your information,
it was going to be tea kettle,

106
00:05:14,899 --> 00:05:17,109
but the tea kettle was on a train,
so I'll give it to you.

107
00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:23,199
If we add phase detection
to your EEG sensors,

108
00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,950
I'll have to rewrite most of the code.

109
00:05:25,284 --> 00:05:26,285
Can you do that?

110
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,037
These hands were made
to do three things.

111
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:30,789
Close-up magic, writing code
and the dirty shadow puppet show

112
00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:32,249
that got me kicked out of Hebrew school.

113
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,003
Hello.

114
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,631
Hi. What a nice surprise.

115
00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:41,133
Well, I just came by to see
how you two were getting along.

116
00:05:41,217 --> 00:05:43,010
(CHUCKLES)
Well, everything's going really great.

117
00:05:43,469 --> 00:05:45,012
Aw, that's nice to hear.

118
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,766
I was hoping
you two would enjoy working together.

119
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:51,852
(STUTTERS) What's with the blinking?

120
00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:54,522
It's Morse code.

121
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,691
So we can talk about...

122
00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:02,196
Without hurting... Feelings.

123
00:06:05,241 --> 00:06:06,742
Uh, Sheldon, I don't know Morse code.

124
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,870
I do. And if you have something to say,
you can say it to my face.

125
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,705
Oh.

126
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:12,831
All right.

127
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,093
I'm a little rusty,
could you say that again?

128
00:06:27,263 --> 00:06:28,264
(EXHALES)

129
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,439
She's going to be home at "8:00-ish"?

130
00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:40,067
(STAMMERS) What is that? 8:01, 8:02?

131
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,569
And what kind of scientist uses "ish"?

132
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,823
I'll give it a go.
My ride home with you was hellish.

133
00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,328
Sheldon, honey, if you wanna join us
for dinner you're more than welcome.

134
00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:54,206
Oh, thank you. I don't think
I'd be very good company tonight.

135
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:56,083
Hmm, well, then out you go.

136
00:06:58,502 --> 00:06:59,628
Okay, what is going on?

137
00:07:00,004 --> 00:07:01,589
Well, ever since
Amy started working with Howard

138
00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:02,923
she hasn't been home.

139
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,633
Didn't that just start this morning?

140
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,553
And has she been home?

141
00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:10,639
You know, that would frustrate me.

142
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:13,559
Does it frustrate you?

143
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,852
It does.

144
00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:15,978
I get that.

145
00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:19,523
You know, it's okay to feel frustrated
when things aren't going your way.

146
00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:21,900
(SIGHS) I suppose.

147
00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:23,360
Ah, maybe it's not that big a deal.

148
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:25,988
No, no, no, your feelings are valid.

149
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:27,615
Now, why don't you go wash up

150
00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:29,575
and we'll call you when dinner's ready.

151
00:07:35,247 --> 00:07:36,248
Okay.

152
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:39,293
(DOOR CLOSES)

153
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,003
What did you do? Are you a witch?

154
00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:44,131
Well, I've been reading
Bernadette's parenting book.

155
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:46,133
It's like the answer key
to the Sheldon test.

156
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:49,553
That's amazing.

157
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,889
I know. But, you know,
it's only birth to five.

158
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,349
What do we do when he turns six?

159
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,102
Take him to the zoo and leave him there.

160
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,024
Hey, Bernadette.

161
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,068
Oh, hey, Raj. Howard's not here.

162
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:07,404
I know. He's been at the lab every night
this week with his work wife.

163
00:08:08,781 --> 00:08:11,200
That's weird, I thought his work wife
was standing in my kitchen.

164
00:08:13,077 --> 00:08:15,954
Don't be snippy, I came to see
how you were doing.

165
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:17,706
Like, uh, do you need
help with anything?

166
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:19,500
Thank you.

167
00:08:19,792 --> 00:08:21,335
There are a few things around the house

168
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,587
that I've been waiting for Howard
to get to. The smoke alarms need...

169
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,255
No, I meant emotionally.

170
00:08:27,091 --> 00:08:28,384
How are you feeling?

171
00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:30,177
Like you're not really here to help me.

172
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:33,931
Wow, still snippy.

173
00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:36,934
Everything's fine.

174
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,894
Howard's really excited about his work,

175
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,230
he's been in a great mood.
I'm really proud of him.

176
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:44,316
And I can fit into the pants
I wore in high school.

177
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,151
Come on,
we don't need to lie to each other.

178
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,114
You're right. I have a teething baby,

179
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,199
I'm pregnant, I have a proposal
due tomorrow,

180
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,785
I don't have time to hear about
how much you're missing my husband.

181
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,414
Well, I think I know why
he's been working so late.

182
00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,420
- Hi.
- Welcome home.

183
00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:06,630
- How was work?
- (CHUCKLES) Great.

184
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:08,882
- Howard had an idea for...
- That's enough about work.

185
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,179
You just got here. You need to sit down
and let me pamper you.

186
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:15,681
Oh. (CHUCKLES)

187
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,141
Well, that sounds nice.

188
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,810
I got you a little something
to help you relax.

189
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:23,105
Sheldon, that is the sweetest...

190
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:27,317
Wha... What is this?

191
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:29,695
The notes from our
quantum cognition project.

192
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,365
I thought we could spend the evening
grinding away on it.

193
00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:37,828
(SIGHS) I just got home. I'm tired.

194
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,288
Of Howard. I know.

195
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:44,543
So how about you and me
make some beautiful science together?

196
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,298
Sheldon, I want
to work on this with you,

197
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:50,382
just not tonight.

198
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:52,885
What if we get up early
and do it in the morning?

199
00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:54,887
I promise I'll be way more into it.

200
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,890
You know what?

201
00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,516
There was a time
that you would have been happy

202
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,727
to stay up and collaborate
all night with me

203
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,771
and then wake up in the morning
and do it some more.

204
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,608
(SIGHS) Fine, but can we make it quick?

205
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:11,278
No. If you're just going to make me
do all the work, then go to bed.

206
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,698
But don't be surprised if you walk
out here and catch me doing it myself.

207
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,041
Ugh.

208
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,210
Sheldon's texting me
to drive him to Bernadette's.

209
00:10:26,502 --> 00:10:27,503
What are you gonna say?

210
00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:30,088
Well, they did just introduce
the middle finger emoji.

211
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:31,799
If it's not for this,
I don't know what it's for.

212
00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:35,469
No, no, no. He'll just think that means,
"Be there in a minute."

213
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:39,723
But... maybe there's something
in the book that will help.

214
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,058
Worth a shot.

215
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,393
Okay, let's see, let's see.

216
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,437
"Biting other children?"

217
00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:47,898
Sometimes, but problem for another day.

218
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:50,692
Okay, wait, wait, here we go.

219
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:52,444
"Let him have ownership of his choices.

220
00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:55,239
"Allow him to choose from options
that are acceptable to you."

221
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,324
All right. I'll give it a try.

222
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,702
I can drive you in two hours, or

223
00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:02,162
you can take an Uber.

224
00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:04,873
Good. See, now he feels like
he has a choice.

225
00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:06,875
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

226
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,502
He's gonna take an Uber.

227
00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:11,755
It worked.

228
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,133
Unless he bites the driver, yeah.

229
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:20,430
And now they're working on a Saturday.

230
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:21,765
Can you believe them?

231
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,392
I mean, is this how
you envisioned your weekend?

232
00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:25,143
No, it is not.

233
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,188
This whole thing is maddening.

234
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,983
I'm really busy.

235
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,442
I don't have time
to listen to you complain.

236
00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:35,028
Hey, you're complaining too.

237
00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:36,697
"Sheldon, why are you here?"

238
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,574
"Sheldon, the applesauce
is for the baby."

239
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:41,910
What do you want?

240
00:11:42,286 --> 00:11:45,122
I just wish I could make
Howard feel as angry as I'm feeling.

241
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:51,378
Well, maybe you could do something
he likes and make him jealous.

242
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,965
- Like what?
- Have you ever read Tom Sawyer?

243
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,301
- No.
- Chores. He likes chores.

244
00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:02,389
Ooh, what kind of chores?

245
00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:06,184
Well, you could change the batteries
in the smoke detectors.

246
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,186
That would drive him crazy.

247
00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,148
That's great.

248
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:13,692
Oh, he'll be so mad
smoke will be coming out of his ears

249
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,819
and then the smoke detectors
will detect it.

250
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,407
Wait a minute, hold on.
Why'd you ask me about Tom Sawyer?

251
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:23,160
I'm just interested in you.

252
00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:25,829
Wha... You are sweeter
than your applesauce.

253
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:31,668
Okay, I'm going to extend the wait time

254
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,045
and have it poll the A to D converter

255
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:34,630
at the top of the loop
instead of the bottom.

256
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,214
Ah, that's impressive.

257
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:38,467
You think that's impressive,
take apart that brain model.

258
00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:42,888
(GASPS)

259
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:45,265
Oh, my God, three of clubs,
that was my card.

260
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,642
How did you...

261
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,352
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

262
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,228
I used make it appear in my pants,

263
00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:52,439
but HR said I had to stop doing that.

264
00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,985
So, how much longer till we can test it?

265
00:12:57,444 --> 00:13:01,031
It needs to compile,
so it's gonna be a few minutes. (SIGHS)

266
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,950
Sounds like we've
earned ourselves a break.

267
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,369
Wanna hear some Neil Sedaka?

268
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,288
You know,
that's your greatest magic trick

269
00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:09,790
'cause you just read my mind.

270
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,249
(BOTH LAUGH)

271
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:15,212
(NEIL SEDAKA'S "CALENDAR GIRL" PLAYING)

272
00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:18,548
(BOTH SINGING)

273
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,812
Well, well, well.

274
00:13:33,397 --> 00:13:34,481
- Hi.
- Hey.

275
00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:37,776
You say you're busy as bees,
yet here you are, dancing.

276
00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:40,320
Although, I suppose bees do dance,

277
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,948
but their dance lets other bees know
where the pollen is,

278
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:47,285
and yours does not. So my logic,
despite that slight detour, does track.

279
00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:52,124
We're just waiting
for my code to compile.

280
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:53,250
What are you doing here?

281
00:13:53,417 --> 00:13:55,544
I stopped by to see if you wanted
to go to the movies with me.

282
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:57,379
Oh, (STUTTERS) I'd love to,

283
00:13:57,629 --> 00:14:00,590
but we're just about to test
the interface. It could take a while.

284
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:03,719
Okay, buddy, this is not my place,

285
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,346
but Bernadette's been feeling
a little abandoned

286
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,015
with all the hours
you've been putting in.

287
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,142
You just asked him to go to the movies.

288
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:12,936
Yeah, but our weird relationship
was grandfathered into their marriage,

289
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,062
and yours was not.

290
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:21,069
Okay, I put new batteries
in the smoke detectors.

291
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:22,612
Did you do the laundry?

292
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:26,033
Hmm, I sure did.
Ooh, he's gonna be steamed,

293
00:14:27,159 --> 00:14:28,535
just like his dress shirts.

294
00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:32,914
At least he can still clean the oven,
so that's something.

295
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,875
Oh, that's what he thinks.
Where's your steel wool?

296
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:36,334
Right here.

297
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:39,337
We make quite the team.

298
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,590
Sure do.

299
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:44,551
Guys, you won't believe this.

300
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:47,220
I stopped by the university
to check in on Howard and Amy

301
00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:48,555
and they were having fun.

302
00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:49,765
Well, don't worry.

303
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,683
He won't be having any fun
when he gets home.

304
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,226
I did all his favorite chores.

305
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,647
What are you talking about?
Howard hates doing chores.

306
00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,733
Yeah, then why would
Bernadette tell me that...

307
00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:01,485
(GASPS) Bernadette.

308
00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:07,407
Did you play on my well-established
gullibility to clean your house?

309
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,618
Sure did.

310
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:13,121
Well, I would storm out of here,

311
00:15:13,205 --> 00:15:15,248
but I already have
the gloves and the steel wool

312
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:16,833
and I really do love
cleaning an oven. Move.

313
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,546
She made me do all her chores

314
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,173
and it wasn't even her idea.

315
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:24,925
She stole it from Tom Sawyer.

316
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,594
You know what? This is crazy.

317
00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:30,138
Howard and Amy are working together,
get over it.

318
00:15:30,222 --> 00:15:31,264
Leonard, what are you doing?

319
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,642
"Knowing when to say when."
This is not a big deal.

320
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,185
It is a big deal.

321
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,313
Howard's getting Amy used to
laughing and listening to music.

322
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:39,856
What if she expects
that madness at home?

323
00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,400
You know, that is a good point.

324
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,820
I'm really proud of the way you're
able to talk express your feelings.

325
00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,613
Thank you. I'm just so angry.

326
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:49,241
You know, everyone gets angry.

327
00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:51,076
Even mommies and daddies.

328
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:57,082
You can't think this is the right time
to validate his behavior.

329
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,292
Okay, what about
"presenting a united front"?

330
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,795
What about you coddling him,
and he's never gonna learn?

331
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,130
Look.

332
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,465
You sound frustrated,

333
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,260
and I'm really proud of the way
you're able to state your opinion.

334
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,597
Thank you. Wait, no, no!

335
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,851
Don't use that book on me!

336
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,686
Wait, what book?

337
00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:21,064
(SIGHS) Penny's been using one of
Bernadette's parenting books on you.

338
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:22,732
What? So has he.

339
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:25,527
What makes you think
you can treat me like a child?

340
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,117
Your shampoo comes in a Big Bird bottle.

341
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,787
That's because the adult shampoo
burns my man eyes.

342
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,668
Hey, what are you working on?

343
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:43,170
Oh, my God. You're still here?

344
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:49,467
Of course I'm here.
I know what you're going through.

345
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:52,304
Really? You have a needy
Indian man in your house?

346
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:56,391
I did, but then he came over here.

347
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,687
So is this how it's gonna be
if we have kids,

348
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,022
you're just gonna
throw me under the bus?

349
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:04,274
Well, if you spoil them
the way you do Sheldon, then yeah.

350
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,109
Uh, my way was working, okay.

351
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,944
I think you're just upset because
there are some things

352
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,070
I'm better than you at.

353
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,198
Well, you can't end a sentence
with a preposition,

354
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:12,282
so clearly not grammar.

355
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,911
If you're so smart,
was that a smart thing to say?

356
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:18,580
That depends. Before I said it,
was sex tonight still on the table?

357
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,040
- No.
- Then it's fine.

358
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,337
You know, once we get this operational,

359
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,380
we could probably figure out
how to make it wireless.

360
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,216
That'd be amazing.

361
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,467
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

362
00:17:30,926 --> 00:17:32,761
Oh, it's Sheldon.

363
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,222
Oh, he's upset with Leonard and Penny.

364
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:36,848
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

365
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,350
And Bernadette.

366
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:40,977
And Mark Twain.

367
00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:47,651
Yeah, Bernadette texted earlier.
Raj is really getting on her nerves.

368
00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:49,986
I guess we have been working late a lot.

369
00:17:50,362 --> 00:17:51,488
(EXHALES)

370
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:52,989
Should we call it a night and go home?

371
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,159
Or we could brew a pot of coffee
and power through.

372
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,495
I don't know, it's getting kinda late.

373
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,373
Hey, where's my watch?

374
00:18:01,665 --> 00:18:03,541
Why don't you ask your skeleton?

375
00:18:06,962 --> 00:18:08,421
(AMY GASPS)

376
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:11,841
Oh, my God, how is that even possible?

377
00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:20,809
This is great,
the two of us hanging out.

378
00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:22,143
Why didn't we think of this earlier?

379
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:25,063
Agreed. I don't need Amy
to watch a movie,

380
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,148
I can not hold your hand just as easily.

381
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:28,233
(CHUCKLES)

382
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:35,282
In the book this is based on,

383
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:37,117
that man's the killer.

384
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,461
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)