1
00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:04,755
This was a good idea.

2
00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:06,716
It's been a long time
since we've had girls' night.

3
00:00:06,883 --> 00:00:08,593
Yeah. It's so nice to
have a relaxing evening

4
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,052
at home doing nothing.

5
00:00:10,303 --> 00:00:12,388
Yeah, really breaks up
the other 30 days

6
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,682
I've spent on bed rest
doing nothing.

7
00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:18,352
Well, tonight we're gonna
make you forget all that.

8
00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:20,396
You're gonna make me forget
I've been stuck in bed

9
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,940
while a baby uses my bladder
as a kickball?

10
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:24,567
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

11
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,903
Hey, you had unprotected sex
with Howard.

12
00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:28,821
You deserve to be miserable.

13
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:32,867
Hey, I need some fashion advice.

14
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,076
Really? From me?

15
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,161
- I would love to...
- Actually, Leonard told me

16
00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:36,871
Penny was over here?

17
00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:38,956
Hey, what's going on?
You got a date?

18
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,292
I do have a date, with science.

19
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,753
Oh, what's science wearing?

20
00:00:45,338 --> 00:00:49,258
The Griffith Observatory is
looking for an astrophysicist to consult

21
00:00:49,342 --> 00:00:50,635
and I have an interview tomorrow.

22
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,345
Oh, I love the observatory.

23
00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:54,764
They tell you your weight
on all the different planets.

24
00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:57,391
Yeah. It's always
bikini season on Venus.

25
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,228
I think you'd be great at that.

26
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:01,729
Don't you agree, Bernadette?

27
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:04,023
Huh? I'm listening. I'm listening.

28
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:06,108
I'm not watching The Crown.

29
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:08,736
I just want to make
a good first impression,

30
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,821
and thought maybe you could
help me pick out an outfit.

31
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:12,657
Of course. Let's see what you got.

32
00:01:12,782 --> 00:01:14,200
Yeah, you just need
to pick something

33
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,701
that you feel confident in.

34
00:01:15,785 --> 00:01:18,204
I'm sorry.
I left my magic clothes at home.

35
00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:21,040
I'm sure these two options will be...

36
00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:26,212
So you have other clothes at home?

37
00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:28,798
It doesn't matter.
They're talking to a bunch of people.

38
00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,049
I probably won't get it anyway.

39
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:31,175
Well, don't say that.

40
00:01:31,384 --> 00:01:33,344
Yeah, you have to believe in yourself.

41
00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:34,845
You know,
before I came to America,

42
00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:36,347
I was filled with confidence.

43
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:37,473
What happened to me?

44
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,934
Hey, is that Raj there
at girls' night?

45
00:01:40,059 --> 00:01:41,727
Oh, hey. Hey, Howard.

46
00:01:41,811 --> 00:01:43,813
Just remember,
if you fall asleep first,

47
00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,898
they're gonna freeze your bra.

48
00:01:47,483 --> 00:01:49,485
(THEME SONG PLAYING)

49
00:02:14,093 --> 00:02:16,095
You and Amy having fun
planning your wedding?

50
00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:20,725
We're employing a mathematical approach
called decision theory,

51
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,435
so, heck, yeah.

52
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,354
"Heck, yeah"?

53
00:02:25,438 --> 00:02:28,607
Looks like someone needs to put a dollar
in the almost-swear jar.

54
00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:32,445
We've assigned all wedding
decisions randomly,

55
00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:34,238
and each of us makes half of them.

56
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,532
From venue to officiant

57
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:40,619
to numbering system for the tables,
Roman or Dewey Decimal.

58
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,414
Why not hexadecimal?

59
00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:48,461
'Cause this is our wedding, not a joke.

60
00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:50,421
Hey, guys.

61
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,797
- Hello.
- Hey.

62
00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:52,923
Oh, good. Raj is here

63
00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:55,426
to tell us today's specials.

64
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,512
Very funny.
I have my interview this afternoon.

65
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:01,307
Aw, if it doesn't work out, you're ready
to go on your Mormon mission.

66
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,353
I don't understand what's going on here.

67
00:03:05,478 --> 00:03:08,314
Uh... What's going on here is
I'm up for a job at the planetarium,

68
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,066
and Howard is making fun of me.

69
00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:13,444
Oh, it's great.
You're both doing what you love.

70
00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,363
Well, I'm excited for you.

71
00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:17,531
Oh. Thanks, yeah.
I'd be in charge of developing

72
00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:19,784
and narrating all
the planetarium shows.

73
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,328
And I really want this, so it wouldn't
kill you to be more supportive.

74
00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:25,706
But if it did, you could bury me
at the funeral home you direct.

75
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:30,753
Wait. The premise is that
he is dressed differently?

76
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,505
Yeah.

77
00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:36,092
(CHUCKLING) That's true.
He is not dressed the same.

78
00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:40,971
(PHONE RINGING)

79
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:43,224
- Hey, Dad.
- Hello, Rajesh.

80
00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:44,433
How was the interview?

81
00:03:44,517 --> 00:03:45,851
Not so great.

82
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,436
They asked me
what my biggest weakness was,

83
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,523
and 45 minutes later,
they thanked me for coming.

84
00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:55,111
Son, don't take this the wrong way,
but what's your problem?

85
00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:59,115
I would tell you, but apparently
it takes 45 minutes.

86
00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:00,991
You know what?

87
00:04:01,117 --> 00:04:03,411
I bet it's those friends
you surround yourself with.

88
00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:05,996
Like that Howard,
always making fun of you.

89
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,416
Howard doesn't mean anything by it.

90
00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:09,875
I think it's cultural.

91
00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,877
His people come
from a very sarcastic village

92
00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:13,838
called Brooklyn.

93
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,674
Don't make excuses.

94
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,801
What kind of friend acts that way?

95
00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:21,720
- Well, I guess...
- It was a rhetorical question.

96
00:04:21,804 --> 00:04:23,681
A bad friend!

97
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,559
Come on, Dad!
That's just our relationship, okay?

98
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,602
He makes Indian jokes,
and I laugh,

99
00:04:28,686 --> 00:04:32,148
but, you know, with angry eyes,
so he knows it's not okay.

100
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,650
L, too, was in a relationship

101
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:37,736
with someone who made me
feel bad about myself.

102
00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:40,030
If you're talking about Mom,
I don't want to hear it.

103
00:04:40,156 --> 00:04:42,825
I'm just saying,
if you replace Howard

104
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:45,578
with a nice 22-year-old
grad student,

105
00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:48,456
your self-confidence will soar.

106
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,170
All right, Amy, you're up.

107
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,963
Next decision.

108
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:57,965
Come on, first dance!

109
00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,592
Come on, first dance!

110
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,220
- Oh!
- Invitations!

111
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,472
That's a good one.

112
00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:05,806
Just a suggestion,

113
00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:08,601
hologram projected out of R2-D2.

114
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:13,063
Thanks for your input,
but this is my decision,

115
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:15,107
and I'm gonna go with...

116
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:18,486
Old English calligraphy
on Egyptian papyrus.

117
00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:20,529
(GASPS) What a fun mashup.

118
00:05:20,613 --> 00:05:23,741
It's like the chicken
and waffles of orthography.

119
00:05:25,034 --> 00:05:26,410
Your turn.

120
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:34,502
Ring bearer! Boy, I'm so glad
that R2-D2 is still available.

121
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,088
You know, this is really fun.

122
00:05:38,214 --> 00:05:39,924
I can't believe that people say
that planning a wedding

123
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,842
is one of the most
stressful things in life.

124
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:44,637
I know. Not a day goes by
that I don't marvel

125
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,931
how much better we are
than other people.

126
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,644
I'm so sorry the interview
didn't go well.

127
00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:53,395
Yeah, you would've been perfect for it.

128
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:54,939
I just get so nervous,

129
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,441
and then I start apologizing
for being nervous, and...

130
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,360
You guys don't want
to hear about this. I'm sorry.

131
00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:00,778
Stop apologizing!

132
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,739
Oh, my God! You sound just like
the woman at the interview!

133
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,575
Have you ever thought about talking

134
00:06:06,659 --> 00:06:08,494
to some kind of therapist
about all this?

135
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,079
(SIGHS) Maybe.

136
00:06:10,246 --> 00:06:12,289
Hey, Leonard, do you think
your mom would be available?

137
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:16,210
Yeah, you don't want to do that.

138
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,880
Talking to my mom to get more confidence

139
00:06:19,964 --> 00:06:23,384
is like talking to a lion
to get more alive.

140
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:25,886
Well, my dad thinks

141
00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:28,305
it's because Howard's always
making fun of me.

142
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,015
That makes sense.

143
00:06:30,099 --> 00:06:31,850
What do you mean,
that makes sense?

144
00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:34,061
Howard does make fun of him a lot.

145
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,980
(SCOFFS)
That's not all Howard's fault.

146
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,774
I mean, if Raj doesn't want
to be made fun of, then I...

147
00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:42,611
I don't know a nice way
to finish this sentence.

148
00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:45,072
So you're on his side?

149
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,907
I'm just saying,
that's what friends do.

150
00:06:46,991 --> 00:06:48,284
You know, they bust on each other.

151
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:49,535
It doesn't mean anything.

152
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,287
Well, I'm not surprised
you think so.

153
00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:52,454
Why is that?

154
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:54,456
You can be kind of mean to me.

155
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:56,625
Well, that's because you're...

156
00:06:58,377 --> 00:07:01,338
Wow. I don't know how
to finish that sentence, either.

157
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:02,673
You know what?

158
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,259
I think we're both done
being disrespected.

159
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,055
I got a few rounds left in me.

160
00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:12,474
Attaboy, champ.

161
00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:18,063
Okay, let's see what
we've got so far.

162
00:07:18,314 --> 00:07:22,026
I arrive in a
Little House on the Prairie-style

163
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,986
horse-drawn buggy.

164
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:28,365
Where you are met with
an honor guard of stormtroopers.

165
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:32,161
Do you think that might be jarring,

166
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:35,581
going from wholesome pioneers
to space Nazis?

167
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:38,584
I see what you're saying.

168
00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:40,794
You're thinking
that you should arrive

169
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:44,089
in a replica
of Luke Skywalker's landspeeder.

170
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,926
It's not what I'm thinking.

171
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:51,096
And to save you
the trouble for the future,

172
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:53,390
it will never be what I'm thinking.

173
00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:57,561
Well, if the ushers are
so important to you,

174
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:58,937
what if I propose a trade?

175
00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:03,567
You may pick that, and I will decide,
say, first dance.

176
00:08:04,026 --> 00:08:08,072
Great. Then the ushers
will be my cousins

177
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,783
dressed in frontier frock coats.

178
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:15,204
And the first dance will be
that we won't have one.

179
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:21,835
All right. Then our second dance
will be the first dance.

180
00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:25,214
Unless we have no dance at all. Ha-ha.

181
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,344
Well, if we're changing things,

182
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:33,764
then instead of throwing confetti,

183
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,391
we'll release butterflies.

184
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:38,268
Airborne worms?
Have you lost your mind?

185
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,604
Well, if you're going to do that,

186
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:43,023
then I am changing the officiant

187
00:08:43,107 --> 00:08:44,942
to that husky Spider-Man

188
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,902
that hangs out at the Chinese Theater.

189
00:08:48,112 --> 00:08:51,365
Fine. Wedding toasts in Latin.

190
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:55,244
Great. Vows in Klingon.

191
00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:59,039
Then I'm changing the
flower girl to a dog.

192
00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:03,001
And guess what he'll be
scattering instead of petals!

193
00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:06,839
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

194
00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:08,841
Want to grab some lunch?

195
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:11,719
You know what?
I don't think so.

196
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:13,887
Well, let me guess.
You're not eating

197
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:17,558
because the mean girls circled
your chubby bits in marker?

198
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:20,978
No. That. That right there.
That's the reason.

199
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,271
You're always making fun of me.

200
00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:24,940
(CHUCKLES) Those are just jokes.

201
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,443
It's my way of saying
that we're friends,

202
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:30,571
and it wouldn't hurt
you to drop a few.

203
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:34,742
See? No wonder
I don't have any confidence.

204
00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:36,952
Come on. You can't blame that on me.

205
00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:40,664
Why not? 15 years of constant ridicule.

206
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:43,500
I think our relationship
has become toxic.

207
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,253
What are you saying?

208
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:49,882
I think you and I need to spend
some time away from each other.

209
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:55,554
Look, I can see you're upset, but...

210
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:59,349
I'm gonna need some ground rules.

211
00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:02,436
While we're apart,
can I see other needy Indian men?

212
00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:04,313
Get out!

213
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:14,490
What do you think will make
the wedding worse for Amy,

214
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:18,494
a cake made with salt
instead of sugar

215
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:24,708
or a cake iced
with congealed gravy?

216
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,336
Well, that is a trick question.

217
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:29,797
The answer is, you as the groom.

218
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,802
Neither of them
will be the actual cake.

219
00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,720
I'm just using it
as a bargaining chip

220
00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:40,015
to get Amy to agree to the whole
wedding party getting rings

221
00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:44,520
and us getting one ring
to rule them all.

222
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:49,900
I forget, which mental hospital
are you guys registered at?

223
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,986
- Hello.
- Hello.

224
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,867
Really? You're not gonna sit here?

225
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:01,662
I'll sit there as soon as you leave.

226
00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:04,957
You're still on this?
I said sorry.

227
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,544
Well, "sorry" doesn't make up
for years of emotional abuse.

228
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,213
Well, what's it gonna take?

229
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,465
You want half my sandwich?

230
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:17,719
What is going on?

231
00:11:17,803 --> 00:11:21,473
Raj is trying to blame me
for his pathetic life.

232
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,141
His life isn't pathetic.

233
00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:25,352
He's got that whole table
to himself.

234
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,190
Well, one of us should go sit with Raj
so he's not alone.

235
00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:32,818
But I'm not done telling you
about my wedding revenge plans.

236
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,194
You're right. Go on.

237
00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:35,612
Okay, well, first, I'm going to try

238
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:38,156
to get Amy to trade with me
for hors d'oeuvres...

239
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,453
Oh, good, you're here.

240
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:46,081
I've decided on our centerpieces.

241
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:49,334
I just hope your family
isn't allergic to asbestos.

242
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,920
Sheldon, please stop.

243
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,339
If we keep doing this,
we're gonna end up with a wedding

244
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,758
that neither one of us will enjoy.

245
00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,386
Are you saying
you don't want to get married?

246
00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:01,305
No, of course I do.

247
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:04,558
But that seems to be
the one thing we can agree on.

248
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,978
Maybe we should just
get married at City Hall

249
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,188
and forget about everything else.

250
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,275
City Hall. Hmm.

251
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:16,862
I do like metal detectors

252
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:20,282
and the sound of permits being denied.

253
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,659
Right.

254
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,703
And if we're not enjoying
planning this wedding,

255
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,288
then what's the point?

256
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:29,166
Well, historically, a wedding
was to let other potential suitors know

257
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,709
that we're unavailable.

258
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:32,836
But I think matching T-shirts that say

259
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,213
"Hands off the merchandise"
accomplish the same thing.

260
00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:41,053
So let's pick a day
and just go do it.

261
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,265
How about tomorrow?

262
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:47,768
Really?

263
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,227
That soon?

264
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,520
Why wait?

265
00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:52,689
I mean, it's not that I think
we're living in sin,

266
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,275
but I do like the idea
that our next act of intimacy

267
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:57,402
will be a legal requirement.

268
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:02,616
Tomorrow, we'll go downtown
and get married.

269
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:06,078
Or we could go to
Beverly Hills City Hall

270
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:08,622
if you want a destination wedding.

271
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,795
Hey. You look good today.

272
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,005
What happened? What's wrong?

273
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,217
Just tell me. I can take it.

274
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:23,011
Nothing. I felt bad
about being mean to you,

275
00:13:23,095 --> 00:13:24,513
so I'm being nice.

276
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,598
Oh, okay. Sorry. I wasn't ready for it.

277
00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:27,766
Try again?

278
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,101
You look handsome.

279
00:13:29,393 --> 00:13:31,353
Nope, still freaking me out.

280
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:34,147
- Hello, friends!
- Hey.

281
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:35,649
Hey, what's going on with your hair?

282
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:38,402
Nothing. I just decided
to stop straightening it.

283
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:41,530
Wait, so you were making your hair
look like that on purpose?

284
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:46,284
When I first moved to America,
I wanted to fit in.

285
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:47,703
And Howard's hair was straight,

286
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:48,954
and he was the coolest person I knew.

287
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:51,373
Then you never saw any other people?

288
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,334
You know what, I don't want
to talk about Howard.

289
00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:56,920
I came here to celebrate!

290
00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:59,297
Yeah. I went back
to the planetarium and told them

291
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:02,175
they were making a huge mistake,
that I'd be perfect for the job.

292
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:04,302
I was charming, I was confident.

293
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:05,595
And they gave it to me.

294
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,514
- That's amazing!
- Yeah, plus,

295
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:08,598
it turns out the guy they hired

296
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:11,101
got busted
at a sketchy massage parlor.

297
00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:14,396
So, happy ending for you!

298
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,398
Oh, and for him.

299
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,401
Yeah, I was on my way
to tell Howard,

300
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,111
and then I remembered
I wasn't speaking to him,

301
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,529
so I came over here.

302
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,740
Don't you think it's time
you two made up?

303
00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:25,824
No.

304
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,118
No, actually.
I don't need his negative energy

305
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,661
in my life right now.

306
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:31,580
Standing up to him was hard,

307
00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:34,249
but it made me realize
that I can do anything.

308
00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:37,544
And, yeah, it's a little sad,
but, you know,

309
00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:40,047
- life is all about...
- (CORK POPS OPEN)

310
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,259
Sorry.
I thought you were wrapping things up.

311
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,098
- Hey, Howard.
- Hey.

312
00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:51,475
Where is everybody?

313
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,435
I could ask you
the same question.

314
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,065
Wow, this conversation got mean fast.

315
00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:01,485
Sorry. I'm just in a bad mood.

316
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:02,986
Yeah? What's going on?

317
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,530
I had a falling out with Raj.

318
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,199
He said I make fun of him too much

319
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:09,201
and that it's wrecked his confidence.

320
00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:11,787
Please.
Confidence is like red blood cells.

321
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:14,498
Nice if you got some,
but you don't need 'em.

322
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,043
Yeah. I mean, your life's a mess.

323
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,796
I don't see you blaming
other people for it.

324
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:24,424
That's right. I grew up in a
loving, supportive household.

325
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,427
This is all on me.

326
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,682
Maybe I'll just hang out here
for a while.

327
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,893
Great. And you can make fun of me
all you want.

328
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:36,186
No, that's okay.

329
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:37,979
No, no, no. Go on. I can take it.

330
00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:40,607
My feelings,
like my extremities,

331
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,567
are basically numb.

332
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,197
Here's your license.

333
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,406
Now, if you wait over there,

334
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:50,158
we'll call you
when the officiant's ready.

335
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,576
Do we need a blood test?

336
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:53,078
No.

337
00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:55,872
Well, then how will you know
whether or not we have syphilis?

338
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:02,003
I'm gonna go out on a limb
and say you don't have that.

339
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:07,425
Okay, Sheldon, you officially
exceeded the number of times

340
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:10,470
I hoped to hear the word
"syphilis" on my wedding day.

341
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:13,682
I can't believe we're doing this.

342
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,976
I know. I'm getting married.

343
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,270
The new Star Wars movie's coming out.

344
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:21,982
We are really
finishing this year strong.

345
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,110
Okay, but of the two of those...

346
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:27,571
You know, I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm not gonna ask.

347
00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,744
Are you sad we're not
having a big party?

348
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,123
I'm really not.

349
00:16:38,874 --> 00:16:41,293
I'm here with you. It's perfect.

350
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:46,882
Cooper-Fowler?

351
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,216
You're up.

352
00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:49,426
(SIGHS)

353
00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:51,386
Can you believe it?

354
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:55,515
We're about to walk in that door,
Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler,

355
00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:57,934
and walk out
as a married couple,

356
00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,729
Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler.

357
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,275
Wait.

358
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,904
I want to have a first dance with you.

359
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,364
Right here?

360
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,699
At our wedding.

361
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,035
But this is our wedding.

362
00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:16,328
No.

363
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:19,539
I want a real wedding.

364
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:24,211
Sheldon, it was just making us fight.

365
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:26,630
I know. But, Amy,

366
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:29,341
I never thought
I'd want to marry anyone.

367
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:33,637
So the fact that I found you
is astonishing.

368
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:36,723
It's like finding dark matter,

369
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,475
except they're looking
for dark matter.

370
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,435
I wasn't even looking for you.

371
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,939
So you're even better
than dark matter.

372
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,023
(CHUCKLES)

373
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:46,191
Sheldon.

374
00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:49,778
Plus, plus, you interact with light,
so I can see you.

375
00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:50,862
(AMY GASPS)

376
00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:53,490
And, also, you don't account
for the missing mass

377
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,742
- in the universe. And...
- Okay, I think

378
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:58,453
you're getting caught up on the
ways I'm not like dark matter.

379
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,205
Right. Sorry.

380
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:03,959
But when you make
a discovery like this,

381
00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:06,419
you don't just take it down
to City Hall,

382
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:08,004
you tell the whole world.

383
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:11,508
And, so I'll say it in Latin or Klingon

384
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:12,759
or smoke signals,

385
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:15,011
if that's not cultural appropriation.

386
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:17,347
- It is.
- Okay, so not smoke signals.

387
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:21,309
But I want to do this right.

388
00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:25,689
Me too.

389
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,775
Let's go plan a wedding.

390
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:39,286
You know, we did get dressed up

391
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,746
and come all the way
to City Hall.

392
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:43,707
What are you thinking?

393
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:47,961
I have always wanted a permit
to dispose of hazardous waste.

394
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,923
Let's do it.

395
00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:02,225
Do we know if there's life in
the methane plumes of Enceladus

396
00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:05,395
or under the icy surface
of Europa?

397
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:09,065
Come back on Tuesday
for my next show to find out.

398
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,360
Spoiler alert, we don't.

399
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:16,114
I'm Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali,

400
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:18,408
and thank you for taking
a walk with me

401
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:20,076
through the stars.

402
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,536
(APPLAUSE)

403
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:25,373
Wow. I never knew science
could be so interesting.

404
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:27,334
Hey, I talk to you
about science all the time.

405
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,627
Oh, you sure do, sweetie.

406
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,048
Should we go congratulate him?

407
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:36,343
I'll do better than that.
I'll give him constructive criticism.

408
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:40,013
Here's some constructive criticism,
don't.

409
00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,769
- I'll catch up with you guys.
- Yeah.

410
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,188
Raj, you were terrific!

411
00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:50,774
Thank you. I was so nervous,
my armpits are like a swamp.

412
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,735
Oh. Your hug just got
downgraded to a high five.

413
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:56,821
(PENNY LAUGHING)
Your palms are sweaty, too.

414
00:19:57,072 --> 00:19:59,449
Hey. What are you doing
all the way in the back?

415
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,076
Hiding out.

416
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,286
I wasn't sure if I was welcome.

417
00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,747
This is ridiculous.
You guys are best friends.

418
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,248
Of course he wants you here.

419
00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:10,710
You sure? He seems to be doing
pretty well without me.

420
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,879
Look, he was just stressed out.

421
00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:14,756
His life is not better
without you.

422
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,299
Come on. Come say hi.

423
00:20:17,592 --> 00:20:19,094
Okay.

424
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:23,807
Dr. Koothrappali, I just wanted
to tell you that was amazing.

425
00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:26,351
- Counterpoint...
- To the car.

426
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:29,062
Can I ask you a question?

427
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,398
Of course, you can. That went well.

428
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:33,066
Ask me another.

429
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,319
I think I'm just gonna go.

430
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,907
If there is life beneath
the surface of these planets,

431
00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:42,659
how would we even detect it?

432
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:45,078
That's a complicated question.

433
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:46,830
Let me start with a simpler one.

434
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,498
Can I buy you a coffee?

435
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:51,709
Also, a complicated question. (GIGGLES)

436
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:54,170
Because I want to say yes,
but if I drink coffee this late,

437
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,380
then I'll be up all night.

438
00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,132
Decaf, genius.

439
00:20:58,216 --> 00:20:59,592
I would love to.

440
00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:08,017
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)