1
00:00:03,984 --> 00:00:05,885
Leonard, are you in the shower?
2
00:00:05,886 --> 00:00:09,022
I can't hear you!
I'm in the shower!
3
00:00:09,023 --> 00:00:11,157
I asked if you
were in the shower,
4
00:00:11,158 --> 00:00:13,126
but that's moot now!
5
00:00:13,127 --> 00:00:14,294
What?
6
00:00:14,295 --> 00:00:19,132
Moot! Rendered unimportant
by recent events!
7
00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:21,684
I can't hear you!
I'm in the shower!
8
00:00:21,685 --> 00:00:23,503
I have to skip
the chitchat.
9
00:00:23,504 --> 00:00:24,771
Emergency.
10
00:00:24,772 --> 00:00:26,639
What kind of
emergency?
11
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,275
Mathematical--
32-ounce banana smoothie,
12
00:00:29,276 --> 00:00:31,344
16-ounce bladder.
13
00:00:31,345 --> 00:00:33,913
You might not
want to do that.
14
00:00:33,914 --> 00:00:35,648
I assure you I do.
15
00:00:35,649 --> 00:00:38,251
Sheldon, I'm not alone in here.
16
00:00:38,252 --> 00:00:40,203
What?!
17
00:00:41,088 --> 00:00:43,056
Hello, Sheldon.
18
00:00:43,057 --> 00:00:44,524
What are you doing in there?
19
00:00:44,525 --> 00:00:45,792
She can't be in here!
20
00:00:45,793 --> 00:00:48,461
We were in here first;
you can't be in here.
21
00:00:48,462 --> 00:00:50,129
According to
the roommate agreement,
22
00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:51,598
paragraph nine, subsection B,
23
00:00:51,599 --> 00:00:53,333
"The right
to bathroom privacy
24
00:00:53,334 --> 00:00:55,635
is suspended in the event
of force majeure."
25
00:00:55,636 --> 00:00:57,303
And believe me,
I am experiencing
26
00:00:57,304 --> 00:01:00,240
a very majeure force.
27
00:01:00,241 --> 00:01:02,742
Come on, you can't
wait two minutes?
28
00:01:02,743 --> 00:01:05,678
Oh, Leonard,
let the man pee.
29
00:01:10,417 --> 00:01:13,119
Penny? Penny?
30
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,787
Penny?
31
00:01:14,788 --> 00:01:16,188
What?
32
00:01:16,189 --> 00:01:18,391
Move. Move. Move!
33
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:23,580
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
34
00:01:23,581 --> 00:01:26,899
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
35
00:01:26,900 --> 00:01:28,418
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
36
00:01:28,419 --> 00:01:31,271
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
37
00:01:31,272 --> 00:01:33,773
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
38
00:01:33,774 --> 00:01:35,892
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
39
00:01:35,893 --> 00:01:37,877
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
40
00:01:37,878 --> 00:01:39,135
♪ Bang! ♪
41
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,460
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x21 ♪
The Agreement Dissection
Original Air Date on April 28, 2011
42
00:01:42,462 --> 00:01:44,262
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
43
00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:52,888
Dr. Leonard Hofstadter,
44
00:01:52,919 --> 00:01:54,386
you are officially charged
45
00:01:54,387 --> 00:01:56,739
with two violations
of the roommate agreement.
46
00:01:56,740 --> 00:01:58,257
Do you waive
47
00:01:58,258 --> 00:02:00,009
reading of the charges?
48
00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:01,143
Yeah, fine.
49
00:02:01,144 --> 00:02:02,478
Hang on. No.
50
00:02:02,479 --> 00:02:04,997
My client does not waive
reading of the charges.
51
00:02:04,998 --> 00:02:06,265
Oh.
52
00:02:06,266 --> 00:02:09,268
Cool. I've got
a lawyer.
53
00:02:10,003 --> 00:02:12,521
And I've seen her naked.
54
00:02:14,307 --> 00:02:15,874
Proceed.
55
00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:17,476
Very well.
56
00:02:18,678 --> 00:02:19,979
"Count the first:
57
00:02:19,980 --> 00:02:22,481
"On or about
the 28th day of April,
58
00:02:22,482 --> 00:02:25,284
"the accused did knowingly
and with malice aforethought
59
00:02:25,285 --> 00:02:27,252
"deny access
to the shared bathroom
60
00:02:27,253 --> 00:02:31,040
"in a time of emergency, to wit,
my back teeth were floating.
61
00:02:32,692 --> 00:02:35,294
"Count the second:
the accused exceeded
62
00:02:35,295 --> 00:02:37,596
"the agreed upon occupancy
of the shower,
63
00:02:37,597 --> 00:02:40,265
"to wit, one,
unless we are under attack
64
00:02:40,266 --> 00:02:42,134
by water-soluble aliens."
65
00:02:43,937 --> 00:02:46,305
Can I see
the roommate agreement?
66
00:02:46,306 --> 00:02:48,841
Um, it's fairly technical.
67
00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:51,727
I think I can handle it.
68
00:02:52,646 --> 00:02:55,481
Top of her class,
Cambridge University.
69
00:02:55,482 --> 00:02:57,883
Licensed to practice law
in three countries
70
00:02:57,884 --> 00:02:59,652
and your face.
71
00:03:04,357 --> 00:03:07,359
All right,
based on a cursory reading,
72
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,045
it doesn't look like you have
much of a case, Sheldon.
73
00:03:10,046 --> 00:03:12,965
Do so, do so.
74
00:03:12,966 --> 00:03:14,750
Oh, I'm afraid not.
75
00:03:14,751 --> 00:03:17,636
Section seven here, on
the right to enter the bathroom
76
00:03:17,637 --> 00:03:20,005
in emergency situations,
is not specific
77
00:03:20,006 --> 00:03:22,207
as to what constitutes
an emergency.
78
00:03:22,208 --> 00:03:23,475
Oh, that's ridiculous!
79
00:03:23,476 --> 00:03:25,778
A bathroom emergency
is self-explanatory.
80
00:03:25,779 --> 00:03:28,847
Is it? If Leonard forgot
to trim his nose hair,
81
00:03:28,848 --> 00:03:31,250
could he barge in
while you were showering?
82
00:03:31,251 --> 00:03:33,736
Irrelevant. Leonard
doesn't trim his nose hair.
83
00:03:33,737 --> 00:03:37,356
He thinks because he's short
nobody can see up there.
84
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,295
My point is, Sheldon,
the legal principle is,
85
00:03:43,296 --> 00:03:46,498
ambiguity in a contract benefits
the party that did not draft it,
86
00:03:46,499 --> 00:03:47,750
in this case, Leonard.
87
00:03:47,751 --> 00:03:50,119
So much for count one.
But...
88
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,404
There's no buts, Sheldon;
that's how the law works.
89
00:03:52,405 --> 00:03:54,123
Schooled!
90
00:03:58,678 --> 00:04:00,462
As for the shower capacity
issue,
91
00:04:00,463 --> 00:04:02,314
I cite addendum J.
92
00:04:02,315 --> 00:04:04,817
"When Sheldon showers second,
any and all measures
93
00:04:04,818 --> 00:04:07,803
shall be taken to ensure an
adequate supply of hot water."
94
00:04:07,804 --> 00:04:10,923
I believe this supercedes
the occupancy issue.
95
00:04:10,924 --> 00:04:13,992
Superceded!
96
00:04:17,530 --> 00:04:19,598
This isn't over.
97
00:04:22,302 --> 00:04:24,820
No offense, but
shower sex with you
98
00:04:24,821 --> 00:04:27,339
is now the second best thing
that's happened today.
99
00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:33,412
Mmm, Greek food
on pizza night?
100
00:04:33,413 --> 00:04:36,048
This is the most delightfully
cruel thing we've done to Sheldon
101
00:04:36,049 --> 00:04:38,183
since we left that fake message
from Stephen Hawking
102
00:04:38,184 --> 00:04:39,852
on his voice mail.
103
00:04:39,853 --> 00:04:41,953
Seriously?
104
00:04:41,954 --> 00:04:45,424
I wish to discuss your theories
of black holes.
105
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:51,764
Meet me at the Randy's Donut
by the airport at 2:00 a.m.
106
00:04:55,068 --> 00:04:57,069
What is that you're eating?
107
00:04:57,070 --> 00:04:58,804
Tonight is pizza night.
108
00:04:58,805 --> 00:05:02,074
I'd like to refer that
to my attorney.
109
00:05:03,143 --> 00:05:05,043
According to what I see here,
110
00:05:05,044 --> 00:05:07,145
Thursday nights
are Franconi's pizza night.
111
00:05:07,146 --> 00:05:09,681
Yes, and when Franconi's
went out of business,
112
00:05:09,682 --> 00:05:11,750
we switched to Graziano's.
113
00:05:11,751 --> 00:05:13,035
That's interesting.
114
00:05:13,036 --> 00:05:16,822
Can you just switch
restaurants like that, Priya?
115
00:05:18,258 --> 00:05:20,125
A good question, Howard.
116
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,494
Turns out you can't.
117
00:05:22,495 --> 00:05:23,829
According to
the document
118
00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:25,697
you drew up, Sheldon,
the selection
119
00:05:25,698 --> 00:05:28,133
of a new takeout restaurant
requires public hearings
120
00:05:28,134 --> 00:05:30,219
and a 60-day comment period.
121
00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:32,271
Were those criteria met?
122
00:05:38,711 --> 00:05:40,913
No.
123
00:05:41,614 --> 00:05:43,749
Opa! Opa!
Opa!
124
00:05:45,251 --> 00:05:47,286
This is Greek food?
125
00:05:47,287 --> 00:05:49,354
Leonard, you hate Greek food.
126
00:05:49,355 --> 00:05:51,924
Not as much as you.
127
00:05:56,196 --> 00:05:59,765
Fine. I'm nothing
if not adaptable.
128
00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:04,002
I got you the
lamb kabob.
129
00:06:04,003 --> 00:06:06,037
Thank you.
130
00:06:26,326 --> 00:06:27,960
If you think about it,
131
00:06:27,961 --> 00:06:30,696
Greek food isn't that far
from Italian food.
132
00:06:30,697 --> 00:06:33,232
They share a spice palette.
133
00:06:38,605 --> 00:06:42,090
And what a civilization
is the Greeks'!
134
00:06:47,347 --> 00:06:51,083
They gave us science, democracy,
135
00:06:51,084 --> 00:06:54,970
and little cubes of charred meat
that taste like sweat.
136
00:06:58,191 --> 00:07:00,492
Penny? Penny?
137
00:07:00,493 --> 00:07:02,027
Penny?
138
00:07:02,929 --> 00:07:04,146
Hey. What's up?
139
00:07:04,147 --> 00:07:08,066
The mean Indian lady tried
to make me eat lamb.
140
00:07:10,269 --> 00:07:11,771
Congratulations.
141
00:07:11,796 --> 00:07:13,336
Pizza night will now
be at your apartment.
142
00:07:13,339 --> 00:07:15,107
Order one.
143
00:07:15,108 --> 00:07:16,433
Oh, I'm sorry, honey,
144
00:07:16,458 --> 00:07:18,210
I'm meeting Amy and
Bernadette for dinner.
145
00:07:18,211 --> 00:07:20,212
But you're welcome
to tag along.
146
00:07:20,213 --> 00:07:21,480
A girls' night?
147
00:07:21,481 --> 00:07:23,548
Oh, I don't know
if I'm up for an evening
148
00:07:23,549 --> 00:07:26,852
talking about rainbows,
unicorns and menstrual cramps.
149
00:07:26,853 --> 00:07:29,171
Okay, suit yourself.
150
00:07:29,172 --> 00:07:31,757
We'll probably be
trashing Priya a little.
151
00:07:31,758 --> 00:07:34,426
Shotgun.
152
00:07:35,561 --> 00:07:37,396
Okay, I'd like
to propose a toast
153
00:07:37,397 --> 00:07:39,181
to a wonderful
girls' night out.
154
00:07:39,999 --> 00:07:43,635
Fair warning--
we can get ca-razy.
155
00:07:43,636 --> 00:07:47,706
Yeah. Last week we smoked cigars
and pretended to be dragons.
156
00:07:48,574 --> 00:07:50,342
Really, Amy?
157
00:07:50,343 --> 00:07:51,760
Tobacco and alcohol?
158
00:07:51,761 --> 00:07:54,947
Need I remind you not a lot of
scientific discoveries were made
159
00:07:54,948 --> 00:07:57,516
by people having a good time?
160
00:07:59,585 --> 00:08:01,153
Why did you bring him?
161
00:08:01,154 --> 00:08:02,854
He's harshing my buzz.
162
00:08:02,855 --> 00:08:05,023
I felt sorry for him.
163
00:08:05,024 --> 00:08:07,058
Priya's giving him a hard time.
164
00:08:07,059 --> 00:08:10,562
Ooh, the Priya bashing's
starting early. Yay!
165
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:15,167
Okay, what's up
with those pantsuits?
166
00:08:15,168 --> 00:08:17,002
I need some context.
167
00:08:17,003 --> 00:08:18,303
Pantsuits suck.
168
00:08:18,304 --> 00:08:19,738
And that opens her up
169
00:08:19,739 --> 00:08:21,757
to justifiable ridicule
for wearing them.
170
00:08:21,758 --> 00:08:23,208
Good one, Bernadette.
171
00:08:24,110 --> 00:08:27,312
See? Ca-razy.
172
00:08:35,313 --> 00:08:37,582
Whee...!
173
00:08:41,653 --> 00:08:43,721
You smell like baby powder.
174
00:08:43,722 --> 00:08:45,322
It's talc.
175
00:08:45,323 --> 00:08:48,393
But as that's a primary
ingredient of baby powder,
176
00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:50,862
I understand your confusion.
177
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:54,432
Oh, I'm not
confused at all.
178
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:57,635
You're like a sexy toddler.
179
00:08:58,504 --> 00:09:01,472
I don't know
how to process that.
180
00:09:02,474 --> 00:09:03,841
I do.
181
00:09:04,843 --> 00:09:07,945
♪ Amy and Sheldon
sitting in a tree ♪
182
00:09:07,946 --> 00:09:11,849
♪ K-I-S-S-S-S-I-N-G. ♪
183
00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:14,952
That's too many S's
for "kissing."
184
00:09:14,953 --> 00:09:18,256
Not if they're doing it
for a long time.
185
00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:23,194
Sheldon... have you
ever kissed a girl?
186
00:09:23,195 --> 00:09:26,914
Other than my mother,
my sister and my Mee-Maw, no.
187
00:09:26,915 --> 00:09:28,666
But in the interest
of full disclosure,
188
00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:30,501
I was once on a bus
189
00:09:30,502 --> 00:09:32,603
and had to give
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
190
00:09:32,604 --> 00:09:36,207
to an elderly nun who passed out
from heat exhaustion.
191
00:09:37,142 --> 00:09:39,227
Every year I get
a Christmas card from her,
192
00:09:39,228 --> 00:09:42,780
signed with far
too many X's and O's.
193
00:09:42,781 --> 00:09:44,649
That doesn't count.
194
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,818
Aren't you even
a little curious?
195
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:50,688
Yeah, you're a scientist--
where is the curiosity?
196
00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:53,257
I'm available
for experimentation.
197
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,563
Thank you.
198
00:09:58,564 --> 00:09:59,764
Not necessary.
199
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,066
We know everything
there is to know about kissing.
200
00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:05,920
It requires 34 facial muscles
and 112 postural muscles.
201
00:10:05,921 --> 00:10:07,105
Oh, blah, blah, blah.
202
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,173
Give me some sugar, bestie.
203
00:10:12,344 --> 00:10:14,679
I'm certainly glad
no one said they were curious
204
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,799
about Aztec human sacrifice.
205
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,685
Hey, I know--
let's take Sheldon dancing.
206
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:22,887
Ooh, I totally want
to see Sheldon dance.
207
00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:26,107
I bet he looks like
a spider on a hot plate.
208
00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:29,360
No, thank you,
but for the record,
209
00:10:29,361 --> 00:10:30,595
I'm an excellent dancer.
210
00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:33,297
Proficient in the rumba,
waltz and cha-cha.
211
00:10:33,298 --> 00:10:34,365
Really?
212
00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:36,067
I don't see why
that's surprising.
213
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:37,785
I excel at so many things.
214
00:10:37,786 --> 00:10:40,304
You've had my sourdough bread.
215
00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:42,774
Did you take dance lessons?
216
00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:44,142
Against my will.
217
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,244
In the South,
preadolescent children
218
00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:48,713
are forced through
a process called cotillion,
219
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:51,082
which indoctrinates them
with all the social graces
220
00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:55,920
and dance skills needed to
function in 18th century Vienna.
221
00:10:55,921 --> 00:11:00,024
Oh, we are so
taking you dancing.
222
00:11:00,025 --> 00:11:02,393
No, you most certainly are not.
223
00:11:02,394 --> 00:11:05,062
Well, what does your cotillion
training say is expected
224
00:11:05,063 --> 00:11:07,265
of a gentleman when three ladies
ask him
225
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:09,300
to escort them
to a dance soiree?
226
00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:14,639
I saved a nun's life.
227
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,874
Why am I being punished?
228
00:11:23,832 --> 00:11:25,783
Take us someplace we can waltz.
229
00:11:25,784 --> 00:11:27,018
Where you can what?
230
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,754
Waltz. It's a social dance
from Austria
231
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:32,790
choreographed
to a three-four time signature.
232
00:11:46,171 --> 00:11:49,040
Oh, waltz.
233
00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:54,178
Here we go.
234
00:11:56,448 --> 00:12:00,318
♪ I kissed a girl
and I liked it ♪
235
00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:02,537
♪ I hope my boyfriend
don't mind... ♪
236
00:12:02,538 --> 00:12:04,405
What happened to you?
237
00:12:24,042 --> 00:12:26,644
Shake it baby,
shake it!
238
00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:29,513
Muy caliente, Sheldon!
239
00:12:29,514 --> 00:12:31,582
Care to dance?
240
00:12:31,583 --> 00:12:34,402
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm engaged.
241
00:12:34,403 --> 00:12:36,420
How about you?
242
00:12:36,421 --> 00:12:39,690
Oh, what the hell.
243
00:12:39,691 --> 00:12:41,609
Ooh!
244
00:12:58,260 --> 00:13:00,577
How come if we're
the smart people,
245
00:13:00,578 --> 00:13:02,914
we don't do this
every night?
246
00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:05,516
What's 16 times 14?
247
00:13:05,517 --> 00:13:09,053
My burps taste
like cranberry juice.
248
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:13,524
And there's your answer.
249
00:13:13,525 --> 00:13:16,427
Would you like to come in
for a nightcap?
250
00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:18,262
If you're referring
to the beverage,
251
00:13:18,263 --> 00:13:19,797
you know I don't drink.
252
00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:21,299
If you're referring
to the hat you don
253
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:25,603
while wearing a nightshirt and
holding a candle, I have one.
254
00:13:26,638 --> 00:13:27,972
I have Yoo-hoo.
255
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:30,474
It's hard to say no to Yoo-hoo.
256
00:13:31,576 --> 00:13:33,744
The name literally beckons.
257
00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:39,016
Make yourself comfortable.
258
00:13:39,017 --> 00:13:40,251
Thank you.
259
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,654
Is someone smoking?
260
00:13:43,655 --> 00:13:45,589
Oh, that's just Ricky.
261
00:13:50,696 --> 00:13:52,697
You own a smoking monkey?
262
00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:54,649
Don't be silly.
He's one of the animals
263
00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,801
in my department's
nicotine addiction study.
264
00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:00,304
What's he doing here?
265
00:14:00,305 --> 00:14:01,605
I'm giving him emphysema.
266
00:14:01,606 --> 00:14:04,775
The least I can do is let him
hang out and watch cable.
267
00:14:05,610 --> 00:14:08,045
Remarkable.
268
00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:11,082
Aren't you worried
about secondhand smoke?
269
00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:13,484
A little.
The real danger is him biting
270
00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:15,286
my face off while I'm sleeping.
271
00:14:18,623 --> 00:14:21,676
Is he deliberately
blowing smoke at me?
272
00:14:21,677 --> 00:14:24,762
Yeah. He's kind of an ass.
273
00:14:28,183 --> 00:14:29,667
Thank you.
274
00:14:30,719 --> 00:14:32,470
May I share
something with you
275
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:33,938
that's troubling me?
276
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:35,356
Of course.
277
00:14:35,357 --> 00:14:37,441
What's rattling around that
big bulbous head of yours?
278
00:14:37,442 --> 00:14:40,277
Priya has essentially nullified
279
00:14:40,278 --> 00:14:42,179
my roommate agreement
with Leonard,
280
00:14:42,180 --> 00:14:45,950
making life in the apartment
very uncomfortable for me.
281
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:49,320
And you want me
to kill her? Done.
282
00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:51,188
No, of course not.
283
00:14:51,189 --> 00:14:52,189
I trained Ricky how to smoke.
284
00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:53,657
I can train him
to shoot a poison dart.
285
00:14:53,658 --> 00:14:56,994
No jury would convict us
'cause people love monkeys.
286
00:14:58,363 --> 00:14:59,830
I understand
287
00:14:59,831 --> 00:15:02,066
the alcohol has stirred up
whatever it is
288
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,135
that makes girls go wild...
289
00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:08,105
but I really need to talk
to smart Amy now.
290
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:11,175
Excuse me.
291
00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:13,811
Have you considered
that your intelligence
292
00:15:13,812 --> 00:15:18,065
might be the very thing
causing your dilemma?
293
00:15:22,887 --> 00:15:24,055
No.
294
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:25,356
What do you think Ricky
over here would do
295
00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:27,992
if an interloper
encroached on his territory?
296
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:32,830
Well, when challenged, monkeys
generally assert their dominance
297
00:15:32,831 --> 00:15:38,235
through chasing, assault
and a stylized penile display.
298
00:15:38,236 --> 00:15:40,671
That's a little outside
my comfort zone.
299
00:15:40,672 --> 00:15:42,173
You're being too literal.
300
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:45,509
My point is, he would not meekly
surrender to the rules,
301
00:15:45,510 --> 00:15:47,244
and neither should you.
302
00:15:47,245 --> 00:15:50,181
Are you suggesting I play dirty?
303
00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:52,516
Yes, dirty.
304
00:15:52,517 --> 00:15:56,954
Dirty... dirty... dirty.
305
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,226
Which brings me to our
next order of business.
306
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:08,833
Fascinating.
307
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:11,068
I hope you don't take
what I'm about to do
308
00:16:11,069 --> 00:16:13,104
as a comment
on what we just did.
309
00:16:27,352 --> 00:16:30,688
Who's to say you shouldn't be
dissecting our brains?
310
00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:34,809
You really are an ass.
311
00:16:37,929 --> 00:16:39,763
Morning, Sheldon.
312
00:16:39,764 --> 00:16:41,482
Oh, good, you're up.
313
00:16:41,483 --> 00:16:43,634
I've written a new
and improved
314
00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:46,320
roommate agreement
that benefits me greatly.
315
00:16:46,321 --> 00:16:48,355
I'd like you to sign it.
316
00:16:49,157 --> 00:16:51,242
Why would I want
to do that?
317
00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:53,010
Excellent question.
318
00:16:53,011 --> 00:16:55,946
Do you remember
what happened to the alien,
319
00:16:55,947 --> 00:16:58,699
played by talented character
actor Frank Gorshin,
320
00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:02,820
in the Star Trek episode "Let
That Be Your Last Battlefield"?
321
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:06,757
Uh, Captain Kirk activated
the self-destruct sequence
322
00:17:06,758 --> 00:17:08,993
and threatened to blow up
the Enterprise
323
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:11,228
and kill them both
unless he gave in?
324
00:17:11,229 --> 00:17:12,496
Affirmative.
325
00:17:12,497 --> 00:17:16,534
Computer, this is
Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
326
00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:20,037
Activate self-destruct sequence.
327
00:17:20,038 --> 00:17:22,640
Code 1-1-A-2-B.
328
00:17:22,641 --> 00:17:25,309
Self-destruct sequence
activated.
329
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:31,348
What are you
gonna do, Sheldon,
330
00:17:31,349 --> 00:17:32,750
blow up the apartment?
331
00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:37,187
That was my first thought,
but all my cool stuff is here.
332
00:17:37,188 --> 00:17:39,757
So what happens
when it counts down?
333
00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:41,992
Unless Leonard signs
the new agreement
334
00:17:41,993 --> 00:17:44,044
in the next 41 seconds,
335
00:17:44,045 --> 00:17:47,998
this computer will send an
e-mail to your parents in India
336
00:17:47,999 --> 00:17:50,234
saying that you're in
a secret relationship
337
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,586
with the
whiter-than-Marshmallow-Fluff
338
00:17:52,587 --> 00:17:54,271
Leonard Hofstadter.
339
00:17:54,272 --> 00:17:57,107
Oh, my God.
340
00:17:57,108 --> 00:17:58,208
What's the big deal?
341
00:17:58,209 --> 00:17:59,760
Trust me, it's a big deal.
342
00:17:59,761 --> 00:18:01,878
They're gonna find out
about me eventually, right?
343
00:18:01,879 --> 00:18:03,380
Yeah, of course,
just not today.
344
00:18:03,381 --> 00:18:04,949
20 seconds.
345
00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:06,116
Are you ashamed of me?
346
00:18:06,117 --> 00:18:07,318
Of course not.
347
00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:08,953
Then why can't we
tell your parents?
348
00:18:08,954 --> 00:18:10,287
Please, don't push this.
349
00:18:10,288 --> 00:18:12,523
He does that all the time,
doesn't he? 15.
350
00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:14,592
Okay, fine, Sheldon, you win.
Turn it off.
351
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,659
No, he's bluffing.
352
00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:17,995
I never bluff. Ten.
It's blackmail!
353
00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:19,063
Nine.
We give up.
354
00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:21,081
Eight.
This is ridiculous.
355
00:18:21,082 --> 00:18:22,866
It's a laptop
with a full charge.
356
00:18:22,867 --> 00:18:24,401
Honestly,
what do you see in him?
357
00:18:24,402 --> 00:18:26,337
Give him what he wants
or we're done.
358
00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:27,304
Three.
Really?
359
00:18:27,305 --> 00:18:28,872
Two.
Okay, I'll sign it!
360
00:18:28,873 --> 00:18:33,544
Self-destruct sequence aborted.
361
00:18:36,982 --> 00:18:38,716
You may have gone
to Cambridge,
362
00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:41,769
but I'm an honorary graduate
of Starfleet Academy.
363
00:18:58,623 --> 00:19:00,791
Good morning, Amy.
364
00:19:03,161 --> 00:19:06,897
It most assuredly is not.
365
00:19:06,898 --> 00:19:10,334
Are you experiencing
dehydration, headache,
366
00:19:10,335 --> 00:19:13,504
nausea and shame?
367
00:19:13,505 --> 00:19:15,372
Yes.
368
00:19:15,373 --> 00:19:17,641
I also found a Korean man's
business card
369
00:19:17,642 --> 00:19:20,044
tucked into my cleavage.
370
00:19:20,045 --> 00:19:22,346
What happened last night?
371
00:19:22,347 --> 00:19:24,248
Ah, memory impairment;
372
00:19:24,249 --> 00:19:28,853
the free prize at the bottom
of every vodka bottle.
373
00:19:28,854 --> 00:19:29,987
Sheldon?
374
00:19:29,988 --> 00:19:31,122
All right.
375
00:19:31,123 --> 00:19:34,725
Last night you gave me
some excellent advice
376
00:19:34,726 --> 00:19:36,093
regarding my problem here
at home,
377
00:19:36,094 --> 00:19:40,531
you kissed me and then vomited
on and off for 40 minutes,
378
00:19:40,532 --> 00:19:44,335
following which you passed out
on your bathroom floor.
379
00:19:44,336 --> 00:19:47,438
I then folded a towel under
your head as a pillow,
380
00:19:47,439 --> 00:19:49,373
set your oven clock
to the correct time
381
00:19:49,374 --> 00:19:51,842
because it was
driving me crazy...
382
00:19:52,711 --> 00:19:54,345
...and I left.
383
00:19:54,346 --> 00:19:57,515
Okay.
384
00:19:57,516 --> 00:20:01,118
Don't really know
where we go from here.
385
00:20:01,953 --> 00:20:03,788
I suggest
we treat our relationship
386
00:20:03,789 --> 00:20:05,956
as if it were
a crashed computer
387
00:20:05,957 --> 00:20:09,560
and restore it to the last point
we both agree it worked.
388
00:20:09,561 --> 00:20:11,929
Terrific. Thank you.
389
00:20:13,498 --> 00:20:15,232
They were out of menthols!
390
00:20:15,233 --> 00:20:17,034
Get off my back!
391
00:20:20,238 --> 00:20:23,374
Not easy living with a
temperamental little primate.
392
00:20:23,375 --> 00:20:25,810
Come on, Priya,
just admit I embarrass you!
393
00:20:25,811 --> 00:20:27,111
You're preaching
to the choir, sister.
394
00:20:27,112 --> 00:20:31,112
== sync, corrected by elderman ==