1
00:00:01,883 --> 00:00:06,203
Why hast thou forsaken me, O
deity whose existence I doubt?
2
00:00:07,538 --> 00:00:10,540
Here. Breathe
into this bag.
3
00:00:11,826 --> 00:00:13,026
What's going on?
4
00:00:13,027 --> 00:00:15,696
They stole everything, Leonard!
5
00:00:15,697 --> 00:00:17,130
Everything.
6
00:00:17,131 --> 00:00:18,882
Are you the roommate?
7
00:00:18,883 --> 00:00:20,967
Yeah, Leonard Hofstadter.
What happened?
8
00:00:20,968 --> 00:00:23,203
Your friend here called 911
to report a robbery.
9
00:00:23,204 --> 00:00:25,138
Oh, my God,
what did they get?
10
00:00:25,139 --> 00:00:26,423
What didn't they get?
11
00:00:26,424 --> 00:00:28,375
They got my enchanted weapons,
12
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:30,344
my vicious gladiator armor,
13
00:00:30,345 --> 00:00:32,679
my wand of untainted power,
14
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:35,649
and all my gold!
15
00:00:35,650 --> 00:00:37,451
You called the police
16
00:00:37,452 --> 00:00:40,220
because someone hacked your
World of Warcraft account?
17
00:00:40,221 --> 00:00:42,656
What choice did I have?
18
00:00:42,657 --> 00:00:45,859
The mighty Sheldor,
level 85 blood elf,
19
00:00:45,860 --> 00:00:47,661
hero of the Eastern kingdoms,
20
00:00:47,662 --> 00:00:51,865
has been picked clean, like
a carcass in the desert sun.
21
00:00:53,134 --> 00:00:54,735
Plus, the FBI hung up on me.
22
00:00:56,471 --> 00:00:58,672
Into the bag.
23
00:00:59,340 --> 00:01:02,676
They took my battle ostrich!
24
00:01:02,677 --> 00:01:05,011
- Oh, no, not Glenn!
- Yes!
25
00:01:05,012 --> 00:01:06,346
Glenn!
26
00:01:06,347 --> 00:01:08,548
The only bird I ever loved.
27
00:01:10,051 --> 00:01:11,852
Good luck, fellas.
28
00:01:11,853 --> 00:01:13,553
Oh. Well, thank you, officer.
29
00:01:13,554 --> 00:01:14,821
Wait a minute!
30
00:01:14,822 --> 00:01:16,323
You're not going to do anything?
31
00:01:16,324 --> 00:01:17,491
Mr. Cooper,
there's nothing...
32
00:01:17,492 --> 00:01:18,992
Dr. Cooper.
33
00:01:19,861 --> 00:01:21,561
Seriously?
34
00:01:22,663 --> 00:01:25,432
Not the kind with
access to drugs.
35
00:01:26,367 --> 00:01:28,402
Fine. Dr. Cooper.
36
00:01:28,403 --> 00:01:29,836
I'm sorry for your loss,
37
00:01:29,837 --> 00:01:31,371
but the Pasadena
Police Department
38
00:01:31,372 --> 00:01:33,607
doesn't have
jurisdiction in...
39
00:01:33,608 --> 00:01:35,509
Pandora.
40
00:01:35,510 --> 00:01:38,178
That's from Avatar!
41
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,515
World of Warcraft
takes place in Azeroth.
42
00:01:41,516 --> 00:01:44,384
Goodness gracious, how are you
allowed to carry a gun?
43
00:01:45,486 --> 00:01:49,523
Can you at least refer me
to a rogue ex-cop?
44
00:01:49,524 --> 00:01:50,857
What?
45
00:01:50,858 --> 00:01:53,660
Wh-- you know, one who was
drummed off the force
46
00:01:53,661 --> 00:01:55,495
because he refused
to play by the rules,
47
00:01:55,496 --> 00:01:57,197
and now he hires himself out
48
00:01:57,198 --> 00:02:00,400
to impose his own brand
of rough justice?
49
00:02:01,269 --> 00:02:03,136
No.
50
00:02:04,522 --> 00:02:06,189
Thank you, officer.
51
00:02:07,074 --> 00:02:09,709
It's all gone. All gone.
52
00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:11,578
I'm really
sorry, Sheldon.
53
00:02:11,579 --> 00:02:13,246
What kind of world
do we live in,
54
00:02:13,247 --> 00:02:17,184
where a man would take
another man's battle ostrich?
55
00:02:17,185 --> 00:02:19,085
I don't know.
56
00:02:19,887 --> 00:02:21,455
This act of aggression
must be met
57
00:02:21,456 --> 00:02:23,824
with swift and cruel ferocity.
58
00:02:23,825 --> 00:02:28,462
It is time to cry havoc,
and let slip the dogs of war.
59
00:02:28,463 --> 00:02:30,630
I'm on it.
60
00:02:33,868 --> 00:02:36,736
Hi, Mrs. Wolowitz.
Is, is Howard there?
61
00:02:38,039 --> 00:02:39,906
Okay, thanks.
62
00:02:39,907 --> 00:02:41,408
That particular dog of war
63
00:02:41,409 --> 00:02:43,510
will have to call you back
after his bath.
64
00:02:46,948 --> 00:02:49,249
See if Raj is done with Pilates.
65
00:02:50,451 --> 00:02:54,070
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
66
00:02:54,071 --> 00:02:57,407
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
67
00:02:57,408 --> 00:02:59,042
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
68
00:02:59,043 --> 00:03:01,595
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
69
00:03:01,596 --> 00:03:04,247
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
70
00:03:04,248 --> 00:03:06,933
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
71
00:03:06,934 --> 00:03:08,835
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
72
00:03:08,836 --> 00:03:09,714
♪ Bang! ♪
73
00:03:09,739 --> 00:03:12,439
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x19 ♪
The Zarnecki Incursion
Original Air Date on March 31, 2011
74
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,977
-- sync, corrected by elderman --
75
00:03:15,511 --> 00:03:17,512
Three thousand hours.
76
00:03:17,513 --> 00:03:20,648
Three thousand hours
clicking on that mouse,
77
00:03:20,649 --> 00:03:22,617
collecting weapons and gold.
78
00:03:22,618 --> 00:03:27,489
It's almost as if it was
a huge waste of time.
79
00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:29,124
Whoever did this
knew what they were doing.
80
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,159
He got in and out
of your account in under
81
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,661
15 minutes, transferred
all your stuff,
82
00:03:33,662 --> 00:03:34,896
and didn't leave
a digital fingerprint.
83
00:03:34,897 --> 00:03:36,131
Oh!
84
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,700
There isn't enough
chamomile tea in the world
85
00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:41,603
to quell the rage in my heart.
86
00:03:42,738 --> 00:03:44,305
Hold on. I'm talking to an orc
87
00:03:44,306 --> 00:03:45,874
under the bridge
in Thunder Bluff
88
00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:48,710
who says if we pay him, he'll
help us track down your things.
89
00:03:48,711 --> 00:03:50,211
Can we trust him?
90
00:03:50,212 --> 00:03:52,514
I should say so;
he appears to be a member
91
00:03:52,515 --> 00:03:55,050
of the Nigerian royal family.
92
00:03:56,852 --> 00:03:59,921
Whoa! Somebody's auctioning off
a jeweled ostrich bridle!
93
00:03:59,922 --> 00:04:01,556
No. Glenn's was leather.
94
00:04:02,425 --> 00:04:04,592
He was a simple ostrich.
95
00:04:04,593 --> 00:04:07,595
Is! Is, I haven't given up hope.
96
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,365
Hey.
97
00:04:10,366 --> 00:04:12,600
Hey, Penny. We're kind of in
the middle of a crisis, here.
98
00:04:12,601 --> 00:04:14,969
Oh, I know. Bernadette told me.
99
00:04:14,970 --> 00:04:18,306
Sorry, Sheldon. I know
that game meant a lot to you.
100
00:04:18,307 --> 00:04:20,375
What-- "that game"?
101
00:04:21,477 --> 00:04:25,313
Excuse me, Penny, but
Doodle Jump is a game.
102
00:04:25,314 --> 00:04:27,982
Angry Birds is a game.
103
00:04:27,983 --> 00:04:29,451
World of Warcraft is a
104
00:04:29,452 --> 00:04:33,621
massively multi-player
online role-playing...
105
00:04:33,622 --> 00:04:35,557
all right,
technically it's a game.
106
00:04:36,892 --> 00:04:40,595
Bad news, the Nigerian prince
may be a fraud.
107
00:04:40,596 --> 00:04:42,830
Okay, well, anyways,
I brought you
108
00:04:42,831 --> 00:04:44,382
a day-old cheesecake
to cheer you up!
109
00:04:44,383 --> 00:04:46,968
Stale pastry
is hollow succor
110
00:04:46,969 --> 00:04:49,437
to a man who is
bereft of ostrich.
111
00:04:50,306 --> 00:04:51,739
Just say "thank you."
112
00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:54,309
I thought I just did.
113
00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:58,146
All right. See you later.
114
00:04:58,147 --> 00:04:59,247
Oh! Hello.
115
00:04:59,248 --> 00:05:01,483
Oh, hi! I was just
dropping off a cheesecake
116
00:05:01,484 --> 00:05:04,652
to Sheldon. He was robbed
of a bunch of imaginary crap
117
00:05:04,653 --> 00:05:07,255
that's useful in
a make-believe place.
118
00:05:08,124 --> 00:05:09,591
I don't know what that means.
119
00:05:09,592 --> 00:05:12,427
Yeah, well,
sadly, I do.
120
00:05:14,663 --> 00:05:16,631
Did you know last weekend
Priya took Leonard
121
00:05:16,632 --> 00:05:18,032
rollerblading
at the beach?
122
00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:19,801
Can you believe that?
123
00:05:19,802 --> 00:05:22,754
I feel like I'm supposed
to say "that bitch,"
124
00:05:22,755 --> 00:05:25,306
but I don't have
enough information.
125
00:05:25,307 --> 00:05:27,675
I am the one who
spent two years
126
00:05:27,676 --> 00:05:28,877
trying to get him to even
127
00:05:28,878 --> 00:05:30,512
go to the beach
in the first place.
128
00:05:30,513 --> 00:05:32,564
And he was so phobic about
stepping on medical waste,
129
00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:34,482
I had to carry him
to the water.
130
00:05:34,483 --> 00:05:37,185
I took Howard to the beach once.
131
00:05:37,186 --> 00:05:40,255
He almost burst into flames
like a vampire.
132
00:05:41,323 --> 00:05:44,409
So what's the thanks
I get for turning Leonard
133
00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:46,110
into quality boyfriend material?
134
00:05:46,111 --> 00:05:48,296
I have to tiptoe around
his new girlfriend.
135
00:05:48,297 --> 00:05:50,949
I think you're on.
Oh.
136
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:54,202
That bitch!
137
00:05:54,203 --> 00:05:56,971
Want some coffee liqueur
on your ice cream?
138
00:05:56,972 --> 00:05:59,874
Ah, here's the alcohol
and drug peer pressure
139
00:05:59,875 --> 00:06:01,376
Mother warned me about.
140
00:06:02,478 --> 00:06:05,213
I was starting to think
it was never going to happen.
141
00:06:05,214 --> 00:06:07,949
Yes, please.
142
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,651
You guys should've seen Leonard
when I first met him.
143
00:06:09,652 --> 00:06:10,652
There was no eye contact.
144
00:06:10,653 --> 00:06:12,053
He was either looking
up at the ceiling,
145
00:06:12,054 --> 00:06:13,721
or down at his shoes.
146
00:06:13,722 --> 00:06:15,657
I'm drunk.
147
00:06:17,426 --> 00:06:19,444
You know, for the
first couple of months,
148
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:21,262
whenever I would
take off my bra,
149
00:06:21,263 --> 00:06:26,100
he would giggle and say,
"Oh, boy, my breast friends!"
150
00:06:26,101 --> 00:06:28,336
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
151
00:06:28,337 --> 00:06:30,305
I'm never speaking
to Priya again.
152
00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:31,372
No, don't do that.
153
00:06:31,373 --> 00:06:32,924
No reason to be mean to her.
154
00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:36,344
This may be the
alcohol talking...
155
00:06:36,345 --> 00:06:37,579
but I believe there is.
156
00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:39,747
Are you familiar
with the recent study
157
00:06:39,748 --> 00:06:42,183
of Tanzanian chimpanzees
by Nishida and Hosaka
158
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:44,419
out of Kyoto University?
159
00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:47,655
No, but I can name
all the Kardashians.
160
00:06:47,656 --> 00:06:50,558
Primates, such as ourselves,
have a natural instinct
161
00:06:50,559 --> 00:06:53,161
to ostracize ill-mannered
members of the troop.
162
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,495
Bernadette's urge to
163
00:06:54,496 --> 00:06:57,332
shun, scowl or
fling her waste at Priya
164
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,567
is hard-wired into her DNA.
165
00:06:59,568 --> 00:07:03,471
I don't have an urge
to fling my waste.
166
00:07:03,472 --> 00:07:05,807
Believe me, it's there,
we all have it.
167
00:07:05,808 --> 00:07:08,977
Hit me with some more booze,
and I'll show you.
168
00:07:11,163 --> 00:07:13,414
All right, here we are--
this is the tavern
169
00:07:13,415 --> 00:07:17,085
where all the black-market
weapon trades go down.
170
00:07:17,086 --> 00:07:19,887
I don't think my character
should be in a place like this.
171
00:07:19,888 --> 00:07:22,090
Everyone's undressing
her with their eyes.
172
00:07:22,091 --> 00:07:24,259
Maybe if you stop
dropping your sword
173
00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:26,494
and bending over to pick it up.
174
00:07:27,913 --> 00:07:29,547
Okay, what exactly
are we looking for?
175
00:07:29,548 --> 00:07:31,633
Redheaded troll,
goes by the name of Glumly.
176
00:07:31,634 --> 00:07:32,667
According to the
message boards,
177
00:07:32,668 --> 00:07:34,202
if you want to
move stolen goods
178
00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:36,337
and it's after school
hours, he's your guy.
179
00:07:36,338 --> 00:07:37,605
Leonard,
is this going
180
00:07:37,606 --> 00:07:39,407
to take much longer?
I thought we were
181
00:07:39,408 --> 00:07:40,808
going to spend
some time together.
182
00:07:40,809 --> 00:07:42,243
Uh, we are.
In the meantime,
183
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:45,046
you're welcome to whip up
a quick character and join us.
184
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:46,614
Seriously?
185
00:07:46,615 --> 00:07:49,217
Well, you have to put
in a credit card number,
186
00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:51,185
but it's fun.
187
00:07:51,186 --> 00:07:52,954
Maybe I should just go home.
188
00:07:52,955 --> 00:07:54,455
Our troll just walked
in! I got him!
189
00:07:54,456 --> 00:07:56,291
We got him.
We're almost done.
190
00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:57,292
So, how do
191
00:07:57,293 --> 00:07:58,576
you guys want
to play this?
192
00:07:58,577 --> 00:08:00,128
Be ruthless.
You tell him
193
00:08:00,129 --> 00:08:02,430
if he doesn't start talking,
we'll register a complaint
194
00:08:02,431 --> 00:08:05,333
with his Internet
service provider.
195
00:08:05,334 --> 00:08:08,803
Sheldon, what if he gets his
Internet from his cable company?
196
00:08:08,804 --> 00:08:13,741
He could lose his HBO and all their
delightful original programming.
197
00:08:13,742 --> 00:08:17,078
I don't care!
I'm losin' it, man!
198
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:18,546
Why don't we play this smart?
199
00:08:18,547 --> 00:08:20,848
Try a little
"good goblin, bad goblin."
200
00:08:20,849 --> 00:08:22,917
Oh, dear Lord.
201
00:08:22,918 --> 00:08:25,186
Nah, I think we have
to be more subtle.
202
00:08:25,187 --> 00:08:28,156
Okay, I see where
this is going.
203
00:08:28,157 --> 00:08:30,725
Fine, I'll have
sex with him.
204
00:08:32,628 --> 00:08:35,830
That's not where it was going.
205
00:08:35,831 --> 00:08:38,154
Good, because
I would hate that.
206
00:08:41,033 --> 00:08:42,594
Leonard, you're busy--
let's talk tomorrow.
207
00:08:42,595 --> 00:08:43,795
Oh, wait.
208
00:08:44,039 --> 00:08:46,624
- Hang on. Are you upset?
- No, no, I think
209
00:08:46,625 --> 00:08:49,143
it's sexy to date a boy
trapped in a man's body.
210
00:08:49,144 --> 00:08:50,144
Oh.
211
00:08:50,145 --> 00:08:51,145
Good, good.
212
00:08:51,146 --> 00:08:53,848
I'll tell you
what happens.
213
00:08:55,017 --> 00:08:57,752
And people think I
don't get sarcasm.
214
00:09:00,889 --> 00:09:03,891
Well, well, well.
215
00:09:05,194 --> 00:09:06,444
Look who it is.
216
00:09:06,445 --> 00:09:07,528
Okay, be nice.
217
00:09:07,529 --> 00:09:08,730
Hello.
218
00:09:08,731 --> 00:09:10,648
Hi. We're just
heading out for a drink.
219
00:09:10,649 --> 00:09:13,668
Because I do that now.
220
00:09:14,603 --> 00:09:15,703
Count your blessings
221
00:09:15,704 --> 00:09:17,872
you're not a Tanzanian chimp.
222
00:09:19,007 --> 00:09:20,041
What?
223
00:09:20,042 --> 00:09:20,992
Don't listen to her--
224
00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:22,910
she's had a lot
of ice cream.
225
00:09:23,612 --> 00:09:24,846
Do you want to join us?
226
00:09:24,847 --> 00:09:27,515
Oh, thank you,
but I have work to do.
227
00:09:29,618 --> 00:09:32,086
Four women walk
down the stairs--
228
00:09:32,087 --> 00:09:34,672
how many reach the lobby?
229
00:09:40,765 --> 00:09:43,400
Did your sister say anything
when you got home last night?
230
00:09:43,401 --> 00:09:45,752
Oh, no, don't put me
in the middle of this.
231
00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,420
I'm not going to
be your go-between.
232
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:48,588
Come on, help me out.
233
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:49,989
Am I in trouble?
234
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,941
There's no
reason to worry.
235
00:09:51,942 --> 00:09:53,093
That's a relief.
236
00:09:53,094 --> 00:09:54,294
I'm sure
many women
237
00:09:54,295 --> 00:09:56,229
in happy relationships
spend their nights
238
00:09:56,230 --> 00:09:58,631
Skyping with their
ex-boyfriend Sanjay.
239
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:04,204
Good news, gentlemen--
I found our hacker.
240
00:10:04,205 --> 00:10:05,538
- What?
- Really?
241
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:07,406
Yeah. No one can hide from me,
242
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,092
not Waldo, not Carmen San Diego,
243
00:10:09,093 --> 00:10:11,311
not even topless
Natalie Portman.
244
00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:14,147
I've never said
these words before,
245
00:10:14,148 --> 00:10:16,549
but good job, Howard!
246
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:22,055
Thanks. Our culprit
is one Mr. Todd Zarnecki, 2711
247
00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:23,256
Ocean View Road,
248
00:10:23,257 --> 00:10:24,824
Carlsbad, California.
249
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:27,827
The name and the address
drip with evil.
250
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,162
What else do we know about him?
251
00:10:29,163 --> 00:10:30,980
Why, quite a
bit, actually.
252
00:10:30,981 --> 00:10:34,200
I'll bet he's some loser
who lives with his parents.
253
00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:41,374
Yes, he does live
with his parents.
254
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:45,678
Here's a Google Earth
shot of their house.
255
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,647
Excellent!
It's in a cul-de-sac.
256
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:48,815
We can box him in.
257
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:51,718
Hold on, you're thinking
of going there?
258
00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:54,053
Carlsbad is only
a couple of hours away.
259
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:55,171
Fine.
260
00:10:55,172 --> 00:10:57,123
You walk up to the house,
knock on the door
261
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:59,125
and demand your stuff back.
What if he says no?
262
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:01,361
I don't know if you've been
following the news, Leonard,
263
00:11:01,362 --> 00:11:03,163
but there have been
some terrific advancements
264
00:11:03,164 --> 00:11:04,764
in the field of torture.
265
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,234
No one's getting tortured.
266
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:10,470
Fine, we'll abide by
the Geneva Convention.
267
00:11:10,471 --> 00:11:11,905
But ask yourself this:
268
00:11:11,906 --> 00:11:13,940
in the course
of our lives,
269
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:16,276
how much lunch money
has been taken from us?
270
00:11:16,277 --> 00:11:18,027
How many kites?
271
00:11:18,028 --> 00:11:20,780
How many Scooby-Doo
Trapper Keepers?
272
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,916
I totally had one of those.
273
00:11:22,917 --> 00:11:24,317
Of course you did.
274
00:11:24,318 --> 00:11:26,853
It was a fun and practical way
of organizing your school work.
275
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:29,205
But the bullies
took it from us.
276
00:11:29,206 --> 00:11:30,190
Well, no more.
277
00:11:30,191 --> 00:11:32,358
Tonight, we take back
our dignity,
278
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,460
our birthright and our pride.
279
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:35,628
What do you say?
280
00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:37,130
Who's with me?
281
00:11:41,235 --> 00:11:45,004
I have a hip-hop aerobics class
at 5:00; could we go after?
282
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,973
Sure.
283
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:48,841
Also, tonight's the Sabbath
284
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,410
and my mother and I
have a tradition of
285
00:11:50,411 --> 00:11:52,612
lighting the candles and
watching Wheel of Fortune, so...
286
00:11:52,613 --> 00:11:53,646
If we could leave
287
00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:54,948
at 8:00, we'd still be able to
288
00:11:54,949 --> 00:11:56,549
regain our birthright
at 10:00, 10:30 latest.
289
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,651
Fine.
290
00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:00,954
Leonard?
291
00:12:00,955 --> 00:12:03,623
Oh, geez, I-I don't know
if I can ditch Priya
292
00:12:03,624 --> 00:12:04,958
two nights in a row.
293
00:12:04,959 --> 00:12:06,125
Oh, come on, man.
294
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,795
Bros before...
295
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,399
...my sister.
296
00:12:14,368 --> 00:12:15,902
Aw, screw it.
297
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,036
I'm in.
Me, too.
298
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,905
And me.
299
00:12:19,723 --> 00:12:21,925
One moment.
300
00:12:25,379 --> 00:12:27,647
I'm hell-bent on catching
a cyber criminal,
301
00:12:27,648 --> 00:12:29,899
not the common cold.
302
00:12:33,084 --> 00:12:34,884
I'm sorry, I thought
this delay was
303
00:12:34,885 --> 00:12:37,487
so you could watch Wheel of
Fortune with your mother.
304
00:12:37,488 --> 00:12:38,722
I am.
305
00:12:38,723 --> 00:12:40,357
She's just bleaching
her mustache.
306
00:12:41,225 --> 00:12:42,559
Check it out.
307
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,728
Hey, Ma!
"Before and After!"
308
00:12:44,729 --> 00:12:48,164
Four words, 17 letters,
two N's, one V!
309
00:12:48,165 --> 00:12:50,600
"Fanny pack of wolves!"
310
00:12:53,004 --> 00:12:54,070
That's incredible.
311
00:12:54,071 --> 00:12:55,739
Yeah, she's kind of
a Wheel savant.
312
00:12:57,074 --> 00:12:59,676
Uh-oh, that's Priya.
313
00:13:00,811 --> 00:13:04,347
Sitar music for her ringtone
is not cool, dude.
314
00:13:04,348 --> 00:13:06,016
Hit the...
315
00:13:07,018 --> 00:13:09,886
Hey, sweetie.
316
00:13:09,887 --> 00:13:11,154
Yeah, I'm sorry.
317
00:13:11,155 --> 00:13:13,056
I'm gonna be working late.
318
00:13:14,325 --> 00:13:16,359
Yeah, I-I miss you, too.
319
00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:19,362
Okay, sure, I'll call you
when I get home.
320
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:20,864
Okay, bye-bye.
321
00:13:20,865 --> 00:13:22,132
Very nice.
322
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:23,933
You lie to my sister.
323
00:13:25,269 --> 00:13:27,537
That's the nicest thing
he does to your sister.
324
00:13:34,879 --> 00:13:36,379
Oh, guess who.
325
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:37,914
Cover for me.
326
00:13:39,850 --> 00:13:41,251
Hello, Priya. What's up?
327
00:13:41,252 --> 00:13:43,620
How would I know
if Leonard's at work or not?
328
00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:46,156
Don't be suspicious.
329
00:13:46,157 --> 00:13:47,924
Look, if you want your
relationship with Leonard
330
00:13:47,925 --> 00:13:49,592
to continue,
you're going to have to believe
331
00:13:49,593 --> 00:13:51,361
whatever wild-eyed,
cockamamie excuse
332
00:13:51,362 --> 00:13:53,596
the white devil
has the nerve to offer you.
333
00:13:55,399 --> 00:13:58,335
Okay? Yeah, bye-bye.
334
00:13:59,303 --> 00:14:01,171
You owe me.
335
00:14:01,972 --> 00:14:03,907
New puzzle, Ma!
336
00:14:03,908 --> 00:14:05,208
"Same name"!
337
00:14:05,209 --> 00:14:06,910
One N, two D's, three O's!
338
00:14:06,911 --> 00:14:09,612
Whoopi and Rube Goldberg!
339
00:14:09,613 --> 00:14:10,947
That's uncanny.
340
00:14:10,948 --> 00:14:12,782
I know.
It's her superpower.
341
00:14:12,783 --> 00:14:14,851
Well, that and jiggling
her arm fat.
342
00:14:17,621 --> 00:14:20,256
I can't believe we're going
all the way to San Diego
343
00:14:20,257 --> 00:14:22,025
to confront this guy.
344
00:14:22,026 --> 00:14:24,661
Yeah, we're kind of
bad-asses, aren't we?
345
00:14:24,662 --> 00:14:26,029
Totally.
346
00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:27,897
Hey, how about
we stay the night
347
00:14:27,898 --> 00:14:30,367
and hit Legoland
in the morning?
348
00:14:30,368 --> 00:14:31,968
Sea World is better.
349
00:14:31,969 --> 00:14:36,005
It has Shamu, who is
literally tons of fun.
350
00:14:36,006 --> 00:14:39,275
But for the moment, let's stay
focused on Todd Zarnecki.
351
00:14:39,276 --> 00:14:41,945
Yeah, we're coming for you,
Todd Zarnecki.
352
00:14:41,946 --> 00:14:45,448
And for the record, Legoland
is more interactive.
353
00:14:46,117 --> 00:14:47,517
I almost feel sorry
354
00:14:47,518 --> 00:14:51,121
for the poor fool, sitting in
his split-level suburban ranch,
355
00:14:51,122 --> 00:14:52,455
unaware that
356
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:56,159
a vengeful horde is barreling
down the San Diego Freeway
357
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,395
at 71 miles an hour.
358
00:14:58,396 --> 00:14:59,862
Ease up there, lead foot.
359
00:14:59,863 --> 00:15:01,331
You trying to get us killed?
360
00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:05,568
I took the liberty
of burning us
361
00:15:05,569 --> 00:15:07,670
a mix of heroic
questing music.
362
00:15:09,173 --> 00:15:12,942
This says "Beyonce
Bootylicious Dance Mix."
363
00:15:12,943 --> 00:15:14,611
It's a
re-writable CD.
364
00:15:14,612 --> 00:15:16,546
Just put it in.
365
00:15:16,547 --> 00:15:18,264
Beyonce? Really?
366
00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:20,116
She's curvy and she owns it.
367
00:15:20,117 --> 00:15:21,651
I like that.
368
00:15:29,443 --> 00:15:32,061
Oh, yeah, I'm feeling it.
369
00:15:32,062 --> 00:15:34,897
We are winged fury!
370
00:15:34,898 --> 00:15:36,299
Which is still no excuse
371
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:38,201
for going over
the posted speed limit.
372
00:15:41,439 --> 00:15:43,473
♪ ♪
373
00:15:43,474 --> 00:15:46,009
Next time we go to
kick someone's ass,
374
00:15:46,010 --> 00:15:47,610
we take the train.
375
00:15:47,611 --> 00:15:51,047
I always prefer the train.
376
00:15:52,266 --> 00:15:54,267
Sheldon, let's go.
377
00:15:55,252 --> 00:15:56,853
Coming.
378
00:15:59,957 --> 00:16:01,791
Why did you bring that?
379
00:16:01,792 --> 00:16:04,811
No weapon strikes more fear
into a man's heart
380
00:16:04,812 --> 00:16:06,830
than a Klingon bat'leth.
381
00:16:06,831 --> 00:16:09,983
Okay, let's get
clear on something.
382
00:16:09,984 --> 00:16:12,068
We're just going to tell
this guy to transfer all of
383
00:16:12,069 --> 00:16:14,871
your stuff back into your
account and then be on our way.
384
00:16:14,872 --> 00:16:17,407
No one's bat'lething anybody.
385
00:16:18,342 --> 00:16:21,277
So my blade shall not
taste blood tonight?
386
00:16:21,278 --> 00:16:23,813
No.
387
00:16:23,814 --> 00:16:27,417
Well, now I just feel silly
holding it.
388
00:16:27,418 --> 00:16:29,085
Come on.
389
00:16:29,086 --> 00:16:31,921
Can I at least
kick down the door?
390
00:16:31,922 --> 00:16:34,390
You're welcome to try, but
the other day, it took you
391
00:16:34,391 --> 00:16:37,327
15 minutes to get
into a FedEx box.
392
00:16:40,698 --> 00:16:41,865
Who is it?
393
00:16:41,866 --> 00:16:43,666
Your doom!
394
00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:44,968
Don't say "your doom."
395
00:16:44,969 --> 00:16:47,370
Who opens the door
for their doom?
396
00:16:47,371 --> 00:16:48,738
Good point.
397
00:16:48,739 --> 00:16:50,740
Basket of puppies.
398
00:16:53,344 --> 00:16:54,477
What?
399
00:16:54,478 --> 00:16:56,145
Uh...
400
00:16:57,081 --> 00:16:59,015
Sheldon?
401
00:17:00,818 --> 00:17:03,186
Are you Todd Zarnecki?
402
00:17:03,187 --> 00:17:04,821
Yeah. Who are you?
403
00:17:04,822 --> 00:17:07,023
I am Sheldor of Azeroth.
404
00:17:07,024 --> 00:17:08,658
I want my things back.
405
00:17:08,659 --> 00:17:09,792
I don't think so.
406
00:17:09,793 --> 00:17:10,994
Let me see that.
407
00:17:10,995 --> 00:17:12,295
Careful.
That's a collectible.
408
00:17:12,296 --> 00:17:13,379
I know.
409
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:16,966
I've always wanted one.
410
00:17:24,058 --> 00:17:27,176
Well, he's even more cunning
than we thought.
411
00:17:31,482 --> 00:17:33,449
You know, the joke's on him.
412
00:17:33,450 --> 00:17:35,785
Without the certificate of
authenticity,
413
00:17:35,786 --> 00:17:38,421
that bat'leth is worthless.
414
00:17:38,422 --> 00:17:41,691
Yeah, he walked
right into our trap.
415
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,663
Legoland seems like
a hollow dream now.
416
00:17:47,831 --> 00:17:50,216
Uh-oh.
417
00:17:50,217 --> 00:17:51,918
What's the matter?
Something's wrong.
418
00:17:51,919 --> 00:17:53,570
I'm not getting any gas.
419
00:17:59,894 --> 00:18:03,046
Anybody know anything about
internal combustion engines?
420
00:18:03,047 --> 00:18:04,013
Of course.
421
00:18:04,014 --> 00:18:05,515
19th-century technology.
Very basic.
422
00:18:05,516 --> 00:18:07,884
Does anybody know how to fix
an internal combustion engine?
423
00:18:07,885 --> 00:18:10,320
No. No.
Not a clue.
424
00:18:10,321 --> 00:18:13,456
Well, we'd better call somebody
to come pick us up.
425
00:18:13,457 --> 00:18:16,326
It'd be swell
if they had a train.
426
00:18:21,732 --> 00:18:23,533
Thank you, Penny.
427
00:18:23,534 --> 00:18:25,902
No problem.
428
00:18:25,903 --> 00:18:27,437
So, Leonard,
429
00:18:27,438 --> 00:18:29,505
I think it's interesting
you didn't call your girlfriend
430
00:18:29,506 --> 00:18:30,707
to come get you.
431
00:18:30,708 --> 00:18:33,176
Uh, I kind of
told her I was working.
432
00:18:33,177 --> 00:18:35,011
So you lied to her.
433
00:18:35,012 --> 00:18:36,879
Also interesting.
434
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,631
Yeah, she doesn't really
understand
435
00:18:38,632 --> 00:18:41,584
the whole Warcraft
adventure-role-playing thing.
436
00:18:41,585 --> 00:18:45,254
Well, doesn't matter if she gets
it, as long as she's pretty.
437
00:18:46,423 --> 00:18:48,925
This one's funny,
Leonard.
438
00:18:48,926 --> 00:18:51,361
How come you couldn't
make it work with her?
439
00:18:52,529 --> 00:18:55,131
So did you at least get
Sheldon's fake stuff back?
440
00:18:55,132 --> 00:18:58,434
No. We failed
in our noble quest.
441
00:18:58,435 --> 00:18:59,485
How come?
442
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:03,039
Todd Zarnecki was mean.
443
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,574
All right. Hang on.
444
00:19:04,575 --> 00:19:06,009
What are you doing?
445
00:19:06,010 --> 00:19:09,045
I'm gonna show you how we
finish a quest in Nebraska.
446
00:19:10,781 --> 00:19:13,750
Oh. Beyonce.
447
00:19:20,758 --> 00:19:22,558
This ain't no Beyonce.
448
00:19:26,497 --> 00:19:28,564
Now what?
449
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,367
Give my friend his stuff back.
450
00:19:31,368 --> 00:19:33,236
I don't know
what you're talking about.
451
00:19:33,237 --> 00:19:34,704
Well, then, good news.
452
00:19:34,705 --> 00:19:36,739
Today's the day a girl's
finally going to touch you
453
00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:38,140
in your little special place.
454
00:19:41,412 --> 00:19:43,913
Now give him his stuff back.
455
00:19:43,914 --> 00:19:45,448
Okay.
456
00:19:45,449 --> 00:19:46,916
We did it!
457
00:19:48,652 --> 00:19:51,337
I said, "we."
458
00:19:58,344 --> 00:20:00,512
Oh, hold the door.
459
00:20:00,513 --> 00:20:02,180
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
460
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:03,892
Going to see Leonard?
461
00:20:03,893 --> 00:20:05,861
Yes.
462
00:20:05,862 --> 00:20:07,212
How have you been?
463
00:20:07,213 --> 00:20:08,597
Fine. You?
464
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,799
Very well, thank you.
465
00:20:38,094 --> 00:20:42,197
-- sync, corrected by elderman --
466
00:20:50,173 --> 00:20:52,107
All right, well,
great seeing you.
467
00:20:52,108 --> 00:20:54,309
Yeah. You, too.
468
00:20:55,762 --> 00:20:57,780
Amy's right.
469
00:20:57,781 --> 00:21:01,150
I do want
to fling my poop at her.