1
00:00:01,718 --> 00:00:05,021
Buona sera, Luigi's Pizza.
2
00:00:05,022 --> 00:00:06,556
Buona sera.
3
00:00:06,557 --> 00:00:09,442
It means good evening
in Italian.
4
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,112
May I say, having to explain
that to you calls into question
5
00:00:12,190 --> 00:00:15,325
the authenticity
of your ristorante?
6
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,617
Okay, I'm out of here.
7
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,268
Un momento.
8
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:20,736
Oh, for heaven's sake.
9
00:00:20,737 --> 00:00:22,772
Now you're being
deliberately stupid.
10
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:25,208
Where are you going?
11
00:00:25,209 --> 00:00:26,709
I'm having dinner
with Priya at Raj's.
12
00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:28,711
I think Howard's going to be
there. You want to join us?
13
00:00:28,712 --> 00:00:30,246
But tonight's Thursday.
14
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,048
On Thursdays, everybody
comes over here
15
00:00:32,049 --> 00:00:33,482
and has pizza.
16
00:00:33,483 --> 00:00:34,951
Or a reasonable facsimile
17
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,153
prepared by someone claiming
to be Luigi,
18
00:00:37,154 --> 00:00:39,889
but who sounds suspiciously
like Jackie Chan.
19
00:00:39,890 --> 00:00:43,092
Can't we make a one-time
exception for tonight?
20
00:00:43,093 --> 00:00:44,493
We could.
21
00:00:44,494 --> 00:00:46,812
We could also
stop using the letter "M,"
22
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:50,866
but I think that idea is
isguided and oronic.
23
00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,468
Just come with me to Raj's.
24
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,854
Well, I don't want
to go to a party.
25
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,906
It's not a party.
It's the same group of people
26
00:00:56,907 --> 00:00:58,524
who hang out here
hanging out over there.
27
00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:02,111
I'm sorry, but five people
eating and chatting is a party.
28
00:01:02,112 --> 00:01:04,847
How come it's not a party
when we do it here?
29
00:01:04,848 --> 00:01:06,549
Because we don't
throw parties.
30
00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:08,551
I don't know
what to tell you, Sheldon.
31
00:01:08,552 --> 00:01:10,369
I'm going to see Priya.
Everyone's over there.
32
00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:11,487
You coming or not?
33
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,673
Well, no, sir,
and do you know why?
34
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,691
In a word: tradition.
35
00:01:15,692 --> 00:01:19,395
Every Thursday night
for the last eight years,
36
00:01:19,396 --> 00:01:22,048
you and I and our friends
have gathered here
37
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:26,035
in this very spot to break bread
covered with cheese and sauce,
38
00:01:26,036 --> 00:01:28,170
discuss the issues
of the day,
39
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,439
and yes, share a laugh or two.
40
00:01:31,541 --> 00:01:34,343
But I guess our rich heritage
means nothing to you.
41
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:35,544
I guess you're right.
42
00:01:35,545 --> 00:01:36,845
- See you later.
- Wait!
43
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:38,648
Leonard! Wait!
44
00:01:38,649 --> 00:01:40,549
What am I going
to do for dinner?
45
00:01:40,550 --> 00:01:42,652
Come with me to Raj's
and eat there.
46
00:01:42,653 --> 00:01:43,953
I can't do that.
47
00:01:43,954 --> 00:01:47,156
What if he serves haggis
and blood pudding?
48
00:01:47,157 --> 00:01:50,993
I really doubt
that's what he'll serve.
49
00:01:50,994 --> 00:01:52,561
But what if he does?
50
00:01:52,562 --> 00:01:53,862
I'll be obliged to dine
51
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:56,365
on liver and lungs stuffed
in a sheep's stomach.
52
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:59,135
And frankly, blood pudding is
essentially the same thing.
53
00:01:59,136 --> 00:02:01,337
I don't know why
he's serving both.
54
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:02,672
What do you want to do?
55
00:02:02,673 --> 00:02:05,274
You want to come with me, or
do you want to sit here alone?
56
00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:07,209
No, I'll go
to your haggis party.
57
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,928
But I'm telling you.
58
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:13,316
This is adness. This is utter
and complete adness.
59
00:02:13,317 --> 00:02:16,936
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
60
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:20,272
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
61
00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:21,907
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
62
00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:24,443
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
63
00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:27,129
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
64
00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:29,765
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
65
00:02:29,766 --> 00:02:31,701
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
66
00:02:31,702 --> 00:02:32,681
♪ Bang! ♪
67
00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:35,394
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x17 ♪
The Toast Derivation
Original Air Date on February 24, 2011
68
00:02:35,419 --> 00:02:37,519
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
69
00:02:37,594 --> 00:02:39,444
- Oh, dear!
- What?
70
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:40,834
Raj's television.
71
00:02:40,835 --> 00:02:42,202
I just realized
72
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:44,804
we're about to spend an evening
watching a plasma screen
73
00:02:44,805 --> 00:02:48,041
with a cluster of dead pixels
in the upper left-hand corner.
74
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:49,592
So don't watch TV.
75
00:02:49,593 --> 00:02:50,844
Read a book.
76
00:02:50,845 --> 00:02:52,479
And be a social pariah?
77
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,414
Oh, you know
that's not my style.
78
00:02:54,415 --> 00:02:56,883
Ugh!
79
00:02:58,753 --> 00:03:02,322
The audible sigh is a show
of exasperation, right?
80
00:03:02,323 --> 00:03:03,523
Right.
81
00:03:03,524 --> 00:03:06,393
Is it about me
or the dead pixels?
82
00:03:07,695 --> 00:03:09,229
Hey, you're
just in time.
83
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,530
We made Tex-Mex.
84
00:03:10,531 --> 00:03:11,731
Oh, sounds great.
85
00:03:11,732 --> 00:03:13,733
Oh, Indians
making Tex-Mex.
86
00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:16,102
Might as well have had
the Chinese pizza.
87
00:03:17,705 --> 00:03:18,938
Hey, you.
88
00:03:18,939 --> 00:03:21,174
Hi.
89
00:03:21,175 --> 00:03:23,610
That's got to be fun
for you, huh?
90
00:03:25,012 --> 00:03:27,414
Watching Hofstadter
suck the saliva
91
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,882
out of your sister's mouth?
92
00:03:30,117 --> 00:03:32,585
Excuse me. Before this evening
goes any further,
93
00:03:32,586 --> 00:03:35,755
we need to decide
where everyone is going to sit.
94
00:03:35,756 --> 00:03:37,790
There is no assigned seats,
Sheldon.
95
00:03:37,791 --> 00:03:39,626
Just sit anywhere.
Make yourself comfortable.
96
00:03:39,627 --> 00:03:41,060
Oh, what fun.
97
00:03:41,061 --> 00:03:44,097
We're like hippies at a love-in.
98
00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:46,399
Just sit here.
99
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,968
Right on, man. Right on.
100
00:03:50,571 --> 00:03:52,472
Oh, look.
101
00:03:52,473 --> 00:03:57,210
it's Harry Potter and 98%
of The Sorcerer's Stone.
102
00:03:57,211 --> 00:04:00,413
Okay, we've
got fajitas
103
00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:02,999
with all the fixins,
so you make your own.
104
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,250
Wonderful.
105
00:04:04,251 --> 00:04:06,052
Dinner, some
assembly required.
106
00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:09,672
Do you want a margarita,
Sheldon?
107
00:04:09,673 --> 00:04:10,757
A margarita?!
108
00:04:10,758 --> 00:04:13,393
Where are we?!
What is happening?!
109
00:04:14,562 --> 00:04:17,096
Oh. Hey, Sheldon.
110
00:04:17,097 --> 00:04:18,131
What can I get you?
111
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:20,366
Water. Neat.
112
00:04:20,367 --> 00:04:22,552
With a little umbrella.
113
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,337
Where are all your friends?
114
00:04:24,338 --> 00:04:27,724
Sadly, Penny, this evening,
I am the Dark Knight,
115
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,893
roaming these
mean streets alone.
116
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,212
A windbreaker for my cape,
117
00:04:32,213 --> 00:04:36,282
and a stern expression
for my cowl.
118
00:04:37,084 --> 00:04:39,319
Okay.
119
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,721
Excuse me?
120
00:04:41,722 --> 00:04:44,390
Isn't this the point
where the world-weary barkeep
121
00:04:44,391 --> 00:04:46,493
absentmindedly
wipes down the bar
122
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:49,229
and coaxes the woes
out of the troubled patron?
123
00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:52,916
Well, I was getting your
stupid umbrella, but all right.
124
00:04:55,769 --> 00:04:58,037
What's troubling you, buddy?
125
00:04:59,974 --> 00:05:03,309
I don't think your heart's
in it, but since you asked...
126
00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:06,613
Apparently, because
Leonard is dating Raj's sister,
127
00:05:06,614 --> 00:05:08,932
we're all forced
to hang out at his apartment.
128
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:11,518
Oh, the horror.
129
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:12,769
Indeed.
130
00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:15,121
Yeah, at one point,
Raj put on reggae music,
131
00:05:15,122 --> 00:05:17,156
and his sister
took off her shoes.
132
00:05:17,157 --> 00:05:19,792
It was like the last days
of Caligula.
133
00:05:24,331 --> 00:05:26,533
Oh, I have to get this.
134
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,334
Umbrella?
135
00:05:29,169 --> 00:05:30,870
Ugh!
136
00:05:30,871 --> 00:05:33,740
Wonder
what she's exasperated about.
137
00:05:33,741 --> 00:05:35,074
Hello?
138
00:05:35,075 --> 00:05:37,010
Sheldon, are you all right?
139
00:05:37,011 --> 00:05:38,678
When last we spoke,
you were going to
140
00:05:38,679 --> 00:05:41,214
take a taxi home from Raj's,
but according to Facebook,
141
00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:43,149
you just checked in
at the Cheesecake Factory.
142
00:05:43,150 --> 00:05:44,784
Yes, I was in a taxi,
143
00:05:44,785 --> 00:05:46,919
but the driver
didn't look at all
144
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,521
like the photograph
on his license,
145
00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:51,157
so I leapt out and ran for it.
146
00:05:51,158 --> 00:05:52,559
Wise.
147
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,444
There you go.
148
00:05:54,445 --> 00:05:56,863
Just like recovering alcoholics
drink in the Caribbean.
149
00:05:56,864 --> 00:05:58,781
Hi, bestie.
150
00:05:58,782 --> 00:06:00,366
Oh. Hi, Amy.
151
00:06:00,367 --> 00:06:01,668
How you been?
152
00:06:01,669 --> 00:06:03,269
Fine.
153
00:06:03,270 --> 00:06:06,139
From this angle,
I can see up your nose.
154
00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:08,841
Yeah, it's a great time
to be alive, isn't it?
155
00:06:08,842 --> 00:06:10,543
Don't worry.
My problems can wait
156
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:13,012
while you two hens
finish your clucking.
157
00:06:13,847 --> 00:06:15,715
Look, Sheldon, Leonard
is dating Priya.
158
00:06:15,716 --> 00:06:17,250
She is staying with Raj.
159
00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:20,119
That means you're all probably
gonna be hanging out there more.
160
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:23,122
Penny, I'm sorry
you got dragged into this.
161
00:06:23,123 --> 00:06:24,324
I know you're devastated
162
00:06:24,325 --> 00:06:26,659
that your ex-boyfriend
has found an exciting new lover
163
00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:28,761
with flawless,
caramel-colored skin.
164
00:06:28,762 --> 00:06:31,998
Okay, I'm not upset
about Leonard and Priya.
165
00:06:31,999 --> 00:06:34,734
Your flaring nostrils
indicate otherwise.
166
00:06:35,869 --> 00:06:37,470
Cluck-cluck-cluck.
167
00:06:38,872 --> 00:06:40,139
Sheldon, look at me.
168
00:06:40,140 --> 00:06:41,474
I think it's time
169
00:06:41,475 --> 00:06:42,675
to face the fact
170
00:06:42,676 --> 00:06:44,978
that Leonard is the nucleus
of your social group.
171
00:06:44,979 --> 00:06:46,479
Where he goes, the group goes.
172
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,014
Leonard the nucleus?
173
00:06:48,015 --> 00:06:49,815
That makes no sense.
174
00:06:49,816 --> 00:06:51,150
I'm the whimsical elf
175
00:06:51,151 --> 00:06:53,319
that everyone looks to
for a good time.
176
00:06:54,989 --> 00:06:56,389
I'm not saying
that you're not fun.
177
00:06:56,390 --> 00:06:59,392
You're the most fun person
I know.
178
00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:03,296
A lot of people think
I'm fun to be around.
179
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,231
Don't be needy, bestie.
180
00:07:05,232 --> 00:07:07,900
That's probably part
of what chased Leonard away.
181
00:07:09,370 --> 00:07:11,437
What I am saying, Sheldon,
182
00:07:11,438 --> 00:07:13,106
is that your group
is Leonard-centric.
183
00:07:13,107 --> 00:07:15,708
If it were a town,
it would be Leonardville.
184
00:07:15,709 --> 00:07:18,645
If it were an Islamic nation,
Leonardstan.
185
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:21,047
If it were the birthplace
of motion pictures,
186
00:07:21,048 --> 00:07:23,249
we'd all be singing
"Hooray for Leonardwood."
187
00:07:23,250 --> 00:07:24,884
Ooh, I got one.
188
00:07:24,885 --> 00:07:26,419
If you guys were a band,
189
00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:29,088
you'd be called Leonard
and the Leonards.
190
00:07:30,257 --> 00:07:32,825
So needy.
191
00:07:35,129 --> 00:07:37,280
What you doing?
192
00:07:37,281 --> 00:07:40,083
I'm setting out snacks.
193
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,535
You do realize everyone's eating
at Raj's again tonight.
194
00:07:42,536 --> 00:07:47,273
I didn't say the snacks were
for you now, did I, Nosy Rosie?
195
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,912
You're having people over?
196
00:07:52,913 --> 00:07:55,248
Yes. Must be killing you
wondering who.
197
00:07:55,249 --> 00:07:56,716
Fine, I'll tell you.
198
00:07:58,118 --> 00:07:59,485
Stuart from the
comic bookstore,
199
00:07:59,486 --> 00:08:00,987
Barry Kripke from
the university,
200
00:08:00,988 --> 00:08:03,189
Penny's ex-boyfriend Zack
201
00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:05,324
and TV's LeVar Burton.
202
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,494
Really?
203
00:08:08,495 --> 00:08:10,263
LeVar Burton's coming here?
204
00:08:10,264 --> 00:08:12,799
Possibly. I Tweeted him.
205
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:16,736
Okay, well, tell him
I loved him on Star Trek.
206
00:08:16,737 --> 00:08:20,173
Please, Leonard, stop trying
to horn in on my new friends.
207
00:08:20,174 --> 00:08:22,709
Of course. Good night.
208
00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:25,128
Leonard.
Yeah?
209
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:27,613
We had a good run, you and I.
210
00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:32,251
Okay.
211
00:08:33,053 --> 00:08:35,121
But change is a part of life.
212
00:08:35,122 --> 00:08:37,023
It certainly is.
213
00:08:37,024 --> 00:08:38,991
Okay.
214
00:08:39,927 --> 00:08:41,694
I have guests coming.
215
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:45,064
I'm afraid I'm going to have
to ask you to leave now.
216
00:08:45,933 --> 00:08:47,900
I am leaving.
217
00:08:47,901 --> 00:08:50,403
Don't make this harder
than it is, Leonard.
218
00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:52,271
Good-bye, Sheldon.
219
00:08:52,272 --> 00:08:54,073
And good-bye to you, sir.
220
00:09:00,347 --> 00:09:01,881
He'll be back.
221
00:09:01,882 --> 00:09:03,466
Of course I'll be back.
222
00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:05,651
I live here!
223
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,495
Well, it would appear
224
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:24,797
LeVar Burton
won't be joining us.
225
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:27,066
Let's get started.
226
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,435
I thought we'd begin
by going around the room,
227
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:30,703
introducing ourselves
228
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,139
and saying a little bit
about why we're here.
229
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,840
Okay.
I'm Sheldon.
230
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,075
Uh, for regular readers
231
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,577
of The New England Journal
of High Energy Physics,
232
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,045
I need no introduction.
233
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:41,447
If you're not familiar
234
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,731
with that publication,
235
00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:45,384
there's a free copy
in your goody bag.
236
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,271
Stuart?
237
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,391
Um... Hi.
238
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:53,659
I'm Stuart.
239
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,461
I run a comic bookstore,
240
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:59,431
which for financial reasons,
I'm currently living in.
241
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,200
And I guess
242
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:04,670
what I'm hoping for most out
of tonight is a hot shower.
243
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,539
It's very
nice, Stuart.
244
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,290
Zack?
245
00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:10,409
I'm Zack, and I'm, uh...
246
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,712
Uh...
247
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:17,016
Could you come back to me?
248
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,634
Of course.
249
00:10:18,635 --> 00:10:20,619
Barry?
250
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,787
I'm Barry Kwipke, and I'm here
251
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,356
because you told me
there was going to be a whaffle.
252
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,993
When is the whaffle?
253
00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:29,461
Patience, patience, Barry.
254
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,646
The whaffle...
255
00:10:30,647 --> 00:10:33,899
The raffle is the grand finale
256
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:37,603
to an evening-long festival
of fun and folly.
257
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,705
- One more question...
- Yes, you must be present to win.
258
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,542
Okay, I'm ready.
259
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,411
I'm Zach, and I'm, uh...
260
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,880
Oh, crap, why is this so hard?
261
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,252
Oh, hey.
262
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,888
Hi.
Yo, P-dog.
263
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,006
What's up?
264
00:10:57,007 --> 00:10:58,290
We're here to kidnap you
265
00:10:58,291 --> 00:10:59,859
for a girls' night out.
266
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:03,512
the term "kidnap"
is being used playfully.
267
00:11:03,513 --> 00:11:05,731
I kind of figured that.
268
00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:08,467
Good. Now put this pillowcase
over your head.
269
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:10,569
No.
270
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,404
She used to be much more fun,
271
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:15,507
until Leonard punched her
in the heart.
272
00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:18,344
We just thought you
might want to go out
273
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,479
and have a good time,
maybe go dancing.
274
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,015
Oh. Gee, thanks, but I'm
not really in the mood.
275
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,084
You do understand
that it will distract you
276
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,886
from obsessing
over the rich variety
277
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,287
of sweet loving
that your ex-boyfriend
278
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:31,357
is currently receiving
from the fiery jewel of Mumbai.
279
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,826
Okay, look,
280
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,294
if I agree to go out
with you guys,
281
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,996
will you promise
to stop pestering me
282
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:38,030
about Leonard and Priya?
283
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,732
Yes.
Sure.
284
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,333
All right. I'll go change.
Come on in.
285
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,886
If you'd have let me
bring the chloroform,
286
00:11:43,887 --> 00:11:46,505
we wouldn't have had to put up
with all this jibber-jabber.
287
00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:51,610
Anyway, after we
get done snowboarding,
288
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,729
I go back to the lodge
and get in the Jacuzzi.
289
00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:56,849
There's no one around, so
naturally, I'm free-balling it.
290
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,850
Next thing I know,
291
00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,852
this beautiful chick shows up,
292
00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:03,122
drunk out of her skull,
wants to get in with me.
293
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,323
Question.
294
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:07,693
Was it a Jacuzzi or a hot tub?
295
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:10,896
Really? That's
your question?
296
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:11,864
What's the difference?
297
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:14,133
"Jacuzzi" is a commercial brand.
298
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,001
"Hot tub" is the generic term.
299
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,202
I.E., all Jacuzzis
300
00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:18,304
are hot tubs,
301
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:20,806
but not all
hot tubs are Jacuzzis.
302
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:23,742
Is that like
all thumbs are fingers,
303
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,844
but not all fingers are thumbs?
304
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:28,814
Surprisingly, yes.
305
00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:31,150
Nice.
306
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:34,153
Now, what exactly are toes?
307
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:38,223
Can you please get back
to the drunk girl?
308
00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:40,826
I'd like something to think
about in the shower.
309
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:42,061
Oh, yeah.
310
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,330
Right. Anyway, she takes off
all of her clothes,
311
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:46,732
climbs into the hot tub,
and the first thing I notice...
312
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:49,068
The water level rose.
313
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:51,637
No.
314
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:52,788
Of course it did.
315
00:12:52,789 --> 00:12:54,039
It's said that Archimedes,
316
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,424
the ancient Greek mathematician,
317
00:12:55,425 --> 00:12:57,576
discovered the principle
of displacement
318
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,445
while taking a bath.
319
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:01,513
Terrific.
Go ahead, Zack.
320
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,083
Naked drunk girl,
free-balling, continue.
321
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,385
Forgive me,
but I think you'll find
322
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,919
my story is
more interesting.
323
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,489
Does yours
have wet breasts in it?
324
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,291
Better.
325
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,926
It has a gold crown.
326
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,160
You see, the king
327
00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:16,928
wondered how much gold was in it
328
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:19,398
and charged Archimedes with
coming up with the solution.
329
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,600
Because the crown was
irregularly shaped,
330
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,818
there was no way
to mathematically
331
00:13:22,819 --> 00:13:23,869
determine its volume.
332
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:26,989
But, while bathing,
Archimedes realized
333
00:13:26,990 --> 00:13:28,357
he could immerse the crown
334
00:13:28,358 --> 00:13:32,077
and measure the amount
the water rose.
335
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:37,116
So, long story short,
I nailed her.
336
00:13:41,838 --> 00:13:44,289
When he finished,
he shouted "Eureka!"
337
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,291
No, I always shout, "Holy moly!"
338
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,496
Don't know why.
Just do.
339
00:13:52,482 --> 00:13:53,816
All right, that concludes
340
00:13:53,817 --> 00:13:56,134
the "getting to know you"
portion of the evening.
341
00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:59,021
Who's ready to play some
vintage video games?
342
00:13:59,022 --> 00:14:00,806
And tonight's selections include
343
00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:04,326
ColecoVision's "Smurf Rescue
in Gargamel's Castle,"
344
00:14:04,327 --> 00:14:06,495
Atari's "Cookie Monster Munch,"
345
00:14:06,496 --> 00:14:09,314
and for you
text adventure aficionados,
346
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:11,717
"Zork."
347
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:15,621
Pick me, pick me. I'm fun.
348
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:20,542
That all sucks
the big hairy meatball.
349
00:14:20,543 --> 00:14:21,593
How about I go get
350
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,262
the karaoke machine
out of my car,
351
00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:26,098
get plastered and blow
the roof off this place?
352
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,433
Great, I'll make a beer run.
353
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,068
And I'll take a shower.
354
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,335
We'll meet back here in 15.
355
00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:32,004
Check.
356
00:14:36,192 --> 00:14:38,477
I'm unhappy.
357
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:41,280
This is delicious.
358
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:42,531
Where'd you learn
to make chili?
359
00:14:42,532 --> 00:14:44,716
When I was at
university in England,
360
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,218
my flatmate was
from Texas.
361
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,855
I hope she wasn't anything
like my flatmate from Texas.
362
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:52,357
Sheldon is a bit
quirky, isn't he?
363
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,426
Oh, please.
That crazy bastard's looking
364
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:57,563
at quirky
in the rearview mirror.
365
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,733
Did you know that,
per our roommate agreement,
366
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,303
I have to wash my feet
before I get in the shower?
367
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:05,337
And not in the sink.
368
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,840
We each have special buckets.
369
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:09,875
Raj, did you ever
tell your sister
370
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:12,144
about the time Sheldon
got punched by Bill Gates?
371
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,313
- Oh, God, you're kidding.
- Nope.
372
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,048
Gates gave a speech
at the university.
373
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,683
Sheldon went up to him
afterwards and said,
374
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,384
"Maybe if you weren't
so distracted
375
00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:20,853
by sick children in Africa,
376
00:15:20,854 --> 00:15:23,789
you could have put a little more
thought into Windows Vista."
377
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,560
Bam. Right in the nose.
378
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:31,997
Made me proud to own a PC.
379
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:34,066
I'd like to propose a toast
380
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,668
to a rare and wonderful
Sheldon-free evening.
381
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:40,105
Hear, hear.
Cheers.
382
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,940
You realize that's the first
time we've ever done that
383
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,759
without having
to listen to Sheldon tell us
384
00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,544
why it's called a toast?
385
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,746
Why is it
called a toast?
386
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,014
Oh, the ancient Romans
387
00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:51,116
put spiced toast
in their punch bowls.
388
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,255
Sheldon tells it better.
389
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:57,990
He kind of does.
390
00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,224
Yeah.
391
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,896
Aw, hell, I miss him.
392
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,800
So, where do you guys
want to go dancing?
393
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,569
We were hoping
you'd know a place.
394
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,938
Yes, perhaps somewhere
packed tightly
395
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,239
with young, beautiful bodies
396
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,908
sweating and writhing
against each other
397
00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:17,509
in a glorious orgy
of the flesh.
398
00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:20,579
Oh, yeah, I know that place.
399
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:23,515
What do you think?
400
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,150
That should display enough
of your bosom
401
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:28,220
to attract a new mate,
or a hungry infant.
402
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:31,490
Okay, let's go
through this one more time.
403
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,225
Just because
Leonard has a new girlfriend
404
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,777
does not mean I need to go out
and hook up with some guy.
405
00:16:35,778 --> 00:16:37,462
But you could
if you wanted to, right?
406
00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:39,097
Well, yeah, I guess.
407
00:16:39,098 --> 00:16:41,166
Pick out the hottest guy
in the room,
408
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,602
take him home,
do unspeakable things to him,
409
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,737
then kick him to the curb
with a smile on his face
410
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:48,440
and teeth marks on his heinie?
411
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:51,293
More or less.
412
00:16:51,294 --> 00:16:54,446
What's that like?
413
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,048
I don't know.
414
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:57,416
It's fun while
you're doing it.
415
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,585
And then after,
it's mostly embarrassment,
416
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,987
self-loathing
and regret.
417
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:06,358
I would take that deal
all day long.
418
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,794
Yeah, well, it's not
gonna happen tonight.
419
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,229
You know, for the
first time in my life,
420
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,064
I am not
in a relationship,
421
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,498
and I'm totally
okay with it.
422
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,934
You know, if being on
your own is new to you,
423
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:18,537
I'd be happy to share some
tension-relieving techniques
424
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:22,407
for ladies I've perfected
over the years.
425
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:25,344
For example, do you have
an electric toothbrush?
426
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:28,313
Um, no.
427
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:30,949
You should get one.
428
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,985
What's that?
429
00:17:32,986 --> 00:17:35,487
It appears
to be something preserved
430
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,539
between two pieces of acrylic.
431
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:39,524
Oh, it's a snowflake
from the North Pole.
432
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,026
Leonard gave it
to me last year.
433
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:43,695
Oh, God, that is so romantic.
434
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:45,797
Yeah, it was.
435
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,200
Leonard's really one of a kind.
436
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,135
Saying that
while holding a snowflake
437
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:52,204
is a bit heavy-handed,
don't you think?
438
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,556
Let me see that.
439
00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:58,560
Oh, screw it.
440
00:17:58,561 --> 00:18:00,078
I can deal with
a little self-loathing.
441
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,514
Let's go find me
a heinie to bite.
442
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,149
Outstanding.
443
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,485
And if we fail,
we can always stop at CVS
444
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:09,621
and pick you out
a nice toothbrush.
445
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:12,941
I call mine "Gerard."
446
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:18,030
That's kind of creepy.
447
00:18:19,115 --> 00:18:22,701
♪ Don't go breaking
my heart ♪
448
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,569
♪ I couldn't
if I tried ♪
449
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:29,758
♪ Oh, honey,
if I get restless ♪
450
00:18:29,759 --> 00:18:32,711
♪ Baby, you're
not that kind ♪
451
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:38,216
♪ Don't go
breaking my heart ♪
452
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:41,086
Anybody do "Walking
on Sunshine" yet?
453
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:44,423
No.
454
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,124
Dibs.
455
00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:51,330
I'm sorry, Sheldon
bought a loom
456
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,532
and learned
how to weave?
457
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:54,966
He actually
got pretty good.
458
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,469
He made us
all matching serapes.
459
00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,605
I still wear mine
when there's a nip in the air.
460
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,641
Now, was this before
461
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,743
or after he adopted
the 25 cats?
462
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,645
Long before the cats.
463
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,146
I think it was
around the time he tried
464
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,283
to declare our apartment
a sovereign nation.
465
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,652
I still have some
of the currency.
466
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,388
All my friends.
467
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:17,556
All my friends.
468
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:21,193
All my friends.
469
00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:23,795
I think it's like Beetlejuice.
470
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:26,431
We said his name too many times.
471
00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:30,602
Come on in.
Thank you.
472
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:33,004
Hey. I thought you were
with your new buddies.
473
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,406
I had to leave.
474
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,708
They were having fun wrong.
475
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:39,144
Come here, Sheldon.
Sit here with me.
476
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,328
Thank you.
477
00:19:40,329 --> 00:19:43,415
Would you like some
homemade chili?
478
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,283
Are there beans in it?
479
00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:47,319
Yes.
480
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,487
Then it's not chili.
481
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,188
Real chili has no beans in it,
482
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,057
but you're
from a foreign land,
483
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,793
so your ignorance
is forgiven.
484
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:57,829
Sheldon, do you want some
or not?
485
00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,382
Yes, please.
486
00:20:00,383 --> 00:20:04,302
Your girlfriend's a
little short-tempered.
487
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,772
I'd like
to propose a toast
488
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:09,141
to friends,
no matter how quirky.
489
00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:11,676
Cheers.
490
00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:15,647
Priya, do you know
why this is called a toast?
491
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,315
Actually, I do.
492
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,484
I believe the Romans
used to put spiced toast
493
00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:21,520
in their punch bowls.
494
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:24,823
She's also a bit
of a know-it-all.
495
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,960
Mmm. This is good.
496
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:30,829
Whatever it is.
497
00:20:38,027 --> 00:20:40,562
♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪
498
00:20:40,563 --> 00:20:42,263
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
499
00:20:42,264 --> 00:20:44,499
♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪
500
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,867
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
501
00:20:45,868 --> 00:20:47,035
Hello? I...
502
00:20:47,036 --> 00:20:48,603
♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪
503
00:20:48,604 --> 00:20:50,939
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
504
00:20:50,940 --> 00:20:53,241
Oh, I don't think so.
505
00:20:55,117 --> 00:20:57,118
I am so done with Twitter.
506
00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:00,554
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==