1
00:00:02,775 --> 00:00:04,042
Whatcha doin' there?
2
00:00:04,048 --> 00:00:05,983
Working on a new plan
to catch the roadrunner?
3
00:00:05,984 --> 00:00:11,421
The humorous implication being
that I am Wile E. Coyote?
4
00:00:11,422 --> 00:00:14,074
Yes.
5
00:00:14,075 --> 00:00:16,660
And this is a schematic
for a bird-trapping device
6
00:00:16,661 --> 00:00:20,614
that will ultimately backfire
and cause me physical injury?
7
00:00:20,615 --> 00:00:22,899
Yes.
8
00:00:24,869 --> 00:00:26,336
(quick chuckle)
9
00:00:27,755 --> 00:00:29,039
What I'm doing here
10
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,925
is trying to determine
when I'm going to die.
11
00:00:31,926 --> 00:00:35,462
A lot of people are working
on that research.
12
00:00:35,463 --> 00:00:38,215
So what is all this?
13
00:00:38,216 --> 00:00:41,101
My family history
factoring in longevity,
14
00:00:41,102 --> 00:00:43,520
propensity for disease,
et cetera.
15
00:00:43,521 --> 00:00:44,588
Interesting.
16
00:00:44,589 --> 00:00:46,773
Cause of death for
Uncle Carl was KBB.
17
00:00:46,774 --> 00:00:47,808
What's "KBB"?
18
00:00:47,809 --> 00:00:51,145
"Killed by badger."
19
00:00:51,146 --> 00:00:52,880
How's that?
20
00:00:52,881 --> 00:00:54,948
It was Thanksgiving.
21
00:00:54,949 --> 00:00:56,950
Uncle Carl said, "I think
22
00:00:56,951 --> 00:00:59,586
"there's a badger living
in our chimney.
23
00:00:59,587 --> 00:01:01,488
Hand me that flashlight."
24
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:03,941
Those were the last words
25
00:01:03,942 --> 00:01:05,742
he ever spoke to us.
26
00:01:05,743 --> 00:01:07,127
I don't think you need
27
00:01:07,128 --> 00:01:10,130
to worry about death by badgers
being hereditary.
28
00:01:10,131 --> 00:01:11,598
Not true.
29
00:01:11,599 --> 00:01:14,301
The fight or flight instinct
is coded genetically.
30
00:01:14,302 --> 00:01:18,322
Instead of fleeing, he chose
to fight barehanded
31
00:01:18,323 --> 00:01:20,974
against a brawny member
of the weasel family.
32
00:01:20,975 --> 00:01:24,228
Who's to say that I don't share
that flawed DNA?
33
00:01:24,229 --> 00:01:26,796
You can always get a badger
and find out.
34
00:01:27,649 --> 00:01:29,650
(quick chuckle)
35
00:01:30,652 --> 00:01:32,402
But seriously,
36
00:01:32,403 --> 00:01:35,072
even if I disregard
the Uncle Carl factor,
37
00:01:35,073 --> 00:01:37,524
at best I have 60 years left.
38
00:01:37,525 --> 00:01:40,127
That long, huh?
39
00:01:40,128 --> 00:01:41,778
60 only takes me to here.
40
00:01:41,779 --> 00:01:43,980
I need to get to here.
41
00:01:43,981 --> 00:01:45,832
What's there?
42
00:01:45,833 --> 00:01:48,619
The earliest estimate
of the singularity,
43
00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:50,837
when man will be able
to transfer his consciousness
44
00:01:50,838 --> 00:01:53,557
into machines
and achieve immortality.
45
00:01:53,558 --> 00:01:56,977
So, you're upset
about missing out
46
00:01:56,978 --> 00:01:59,696
on becoming some sort of
freakish self-aware robot?
47
00:01:59,697 --> 00:02:02,716
By this much.
48
00:02:03,851 --> 00:02:04,885
Tough break.
49
00:02:04,886 --> 00:02:06,002
You want eggs?
50
00:02:06,003 --> 00:02:07,771
You don't get it, Leonard.
51
00:02:07,772 --> 00:02:10,357
I'm going to miss so much--
52
00:02:10,358 --> 00:02:15,896
the unified field theory,
cold fusion, the dogapus.
53
00:02:15,897 --> 00:02:17,514
What's a dogapus?
54
00:02:17,515 --> 00:02:20,701
The hybrid dog and octopus.
55
00:02:20,702 --> 00:02:22,669
Man's underwater best friend.
56
00:02:24,789 --> 00:02:26,240
Is somebody
working on that?
57
00:02:26,241 --> 00:02:27,524
I was going to.
58
00:02:27,525 --> 00:02:31,194
I planned on giving it to myself
on my 300th birthday.
59
00:02:31,195 --> 00:02:33,247
Wait a minute.
You hate dogs.
60
00:02:33,248 --> 00:02:36,583
A dogapus can play fetch
with eight balls.
61
00:02:36,584 --> 00:02:38,268
No one can hate that.
62
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:43,340
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
63
00:02:43,341 --> 00:02:46,810
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
64
00:02:46,811 --> 00:02:48,528
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
65
00:02:48,529 --> 00:02:51,131
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
66
00:02:51,132 --> 00:02:53,767
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
67
00:02:53,768 --> 00:02:56,153
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
68
00:02:56,154 --> 00:02:58,054
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
69
00:02:58,055 --> 00:02:58,607
♪ Bang! ♪
70
00:02:58,617 --> 00:03:02,217
The Big Bang Theory 4x0
The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification
Original Air Date on September 30, 2010
71
00:03:02,227 --> 00:03:05,727
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
72
00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:09,098
What do we owe you?
73
00:03:09,112 --> 00:03:11,197
It came to $28.17.
74
00:03:11,198 --> 00:03:12,331
Let's say six bucks apiece.
75
00:03:12,332 --> 00:03:14,083
Here you go.
76
00:03:14,084 --> 00:03:16,736
Thank you.
77
00:03:18,955 --> 00:03:21,457
What?
78
00:03:21,458 --> 00:03:22,758
Never mind. I got it.
79
00:03:22,759 --> 00:03:24,293
Oh, you wanted me to pay.
80
00:03:24,294 --> 00:03:26,545
It's no big deal.
No, no, no, no.
You're right.
81
00:03:26,546 --> 00:03:28,964
We're not going out anymore;
I should pay for myself.
82
00:03:28,965 --> 00:03:31,267
(both snickering)
83
00:03:31,268 --> 00:03:32,935
What?
84
00:03:32,936 --> 00:03:35,254
He said, "If he had
woman parts,
85
00:03:35,255 --> 00:03:38,841
he'd eat for free
the rest of his life""
86
00:03:38,842 --> 00:03:42,027
Yeah, but you wouldn't be able
to talk to yourself.
87
00:03:44,281 --> 00:03:46,665
I'm a little low on cash.
88
00:03:46,666 --> 00:03:48,751
How much you got?
Nothing.
89
00:03:48,752 --> 00:03:50,286
How can you walk
around with no money?
90
00:03:50,287 --> 00:03:51,937
I'm cute. I get by.
91
00:03:51,938 --> 00:03:53,706
It's okay,
you can owe me.
92
00:03:53,707 --> 00:03:54,940
Thank you.
Sheldon, six bucks.
93
00:03:54,941 --> 00:03:58,711
No, thank you.
I'm not eating pizza tonight.
94
00:03:58,712 --> 00:03:59,795
But it's Thursday.
95
00:03:59,796 --> 00:04:01,446
Thursday's pizza night.
96
00:04:01,447 --> 00:04:02,531
Not for me.
97
00:04:02,532 --> 00:04:05,617
Thursday is now Cruciferous
Vegetable Night.
98
00:04:05,618 --> 00:04:08,971
Tonight's selection:
Brussels sprouts.
99
00:04:08,972 --> 00:04:10,089
Really?
100
00:04:10,090 --> 00:04:12,808
You're changing the
Sheldonian calendar?
101
00:04:12,809 --> 00:04:15,928
It's a small price to pay.
For what?
102
00:04:15,929 --> 00:04:18,464
No, no, don't ask.
Sorry, sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry.
103
00:04:18,465 --> 00:04:20,766
In order to live long enough
to fuse my consciousness
104
00:04:20,767 --> 00:04:23,402
with cybernetics,
I need to change my diet.
105
00:04:23,403 --> 00:04:25,654
Wait. Cybernetics is
robot stuff, right?
106
00:04:25,655 --> 00:04:26,638
Correct.
107
00:04:26,639 --> 00:04:28,073
So you want to turn yourself
108
00:04:28,074 --> 00:04:29,141
into some sort of robot?
109
00:04:29,142 --> 00:04:31,343
Essentially, yes.
110
00:04:31,344 --> 00:04:32,611
Okay, here's my question.
111
00:04:32,612 --> 00:04:34,029
Didn't you already do that?
112
00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:35,331
No.
113
00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:39,001
Flattering, but sadly, no.
114
00:04:39,002 --> 00:04:42,487
I'm also planning
to begin an exercise regimen
115
00:04:42,488 --> 00:04:44,924
designed to strengthen
my cardiovascular system.
116
00:04:44,925 --> 00:04:47,176
AKA jogging.
117
00:04:47,177 --> 00:04:48,761
Wait. Honey,
have you ever run before?
118
00:04:48,762 --> 00:04:50,029
Certainly.
119
00:04:50,030 --> 00:04:54,250
I've run from bullies, dogs,
angry chickens...
120
00:04:55,185 --> 00:04:57,887
and one particularly
persistent P.E. teacher
121
00:04:57,888 --> 00:05:01,173
determined to bend me over
and give me a scoliosis test.
122
00:05:04,861 --> 00:05:06,278
You're right.
Penny jogs.
123
00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:07,830
Maybe you guys
can run together.
124
00:05:07,831 --> 00:05:10,199
That's an excellent idea.
125
00:05:12,719 --> 00:05:13,953
Yeah, if we chat,
126
00:05:13,954 --> 00:05:16,188
it will create the illusion
of time going faster.
127
00:05:16,189 --> 00:05:18,190
No, it won't.
128
00:05:19,242 --> 00:05:21,377
Um, how does he know I jog?
129
00:05:21,378 --> 00:05:25,697
Oh, he watches you from his car
with high-powered binoculars.
130
00:05:25,698 --> 00:05:27,550
Oh, my God, that is so creepy!
131
00:05:27,551 --> 00:05:29,218
I know!
132
00:05:32,589 --> 00:05:34,924
And he says he's
not gonna stop.
133
00:05:37,811 --> 00:05:41,564
Then see a shrink
and figure out how
to talk to women.
134
00:05:43,650 --> 00:05:44,716
(knocking)
135
00:05:44,717 --> 00:05:45,734
(Sheldon groans)
136
00:05:45,735 --> 00:05:47,436
(knocking continues)
137
00:05:47,437 --> 00:05:49,221
(groans)
138
00:05:49,222 --> 00:05:50,906
(knocking)
139
00:05:50,907 --> 00:05:52,608
(loud groan)
140
00:05:52,609 --> 00:05:54,693
What the hell?
141
00:05:57,747 --> 00:05:59,031
What's the matter?
142
00:05:59,032 --> 00:06:02,067
I have pain radiating
from my navel
143
00:06:02,068 --> 00:06:03,886
to my lower right abdomen.
144
00:06:03,887 --> 00:06:05,955
I'm nauseated
and feverish.
145
00:06:05,956 --> 00:06:08,874
I believe I may have cholera.
146
00:06:08,875 --> 00:06:11,176
There's no cholera
in Pasadena.
147
00:06:11,177 --> 00:06:12,228
Just like last summer,
148
00:06:12,229 --> 00:06:14,296
when there
was no malaria
in Pasadena.
149
00:06:14,297 --> 00:06:15,681
Well, if it's not cholera,
150
00:06:15,682 --> 00:06:18,583
then based on a quick
Internet search,
151
00:06:18,584 --> 00:06:21,420
the other explanations in
decreasing order of likelihood
152
00:06:21,421 --> 00:06:25,307
are Hirschsprung's Disease,
botulism, a 30-foot tapeworm
153
00:06:25,308 --> 00:06:29,228
or accidental ingestion
of chrysanthemum blossoms.
154
00:06:29,229 --> 00:06:33,032
When would you have accidentally
eaten chrysanthemum blossoms?
155
00:06:33,033 --> 00:06:34,617
It's part of an
unlikely scenario
156
00:06:34,618 --> 00:06:37,269
that involves sleepwalking
and a 24-hour flower mart
157
00:06:37,270 --> 00:06:39,488
with a less-than-
vigilant proprietor.
158
00:06:39,489 --> 00:06:41,940
Oh, Lord, my belly!
159
00:06:41,941 --> 00:06:43,792
Ever had your
appendix out?
160
00:06:43,793 --> 00:06:45,044
I haven't.
161
00:06:45,045 --> 00:06:47,496
I've been meaning to,
but who has the time?
162
00:06:47,497 --> 00:06:50,065
Let's get you
to the hospital.
163
00:06:50,066 --> 00:06:54,286
So this is how it ends...
164
00:06:54,287 --> 00:06:56,422
with cruel irony.
165
00:06:56,423 --> 00:06:58,707
Just as I make the commitment
to preserving my body,
166
00:06:58,708 --> 00:07:02,261
I am betrayed by my appendix,
a vestigial organ.
167
00:07:02,262 --> 00:07:03,629
Do you know
168
00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:05,731
the original purpose
of the appendix, Leonard?
169
00:07:05,732 --> 00:07:06,832
No.
170
00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:09,018
I do. And yet I'm doomed
171
00:07:09,019 --> 00:07:10,686
while you live on.
172
00:07:12,638 --> 00:07:14,857
Funny how things
work out, isn't it?
173
00:07:14,858 --> 00:07:18,560
Oh, Lord, I think
it's about to burst!
174
00:07:18,561 --> 00:07:21,547
(loud fart)
175
00:07:21,548 --> 00:07:23,648
On the other hand,
176
00:07:23,649 --> 00:07:26,368
it might have been
the Brussels sprouts.
177
00:07:27,754 --> 00:07:29,922
Good night.
178
00:07:29,923 --> 00:07:31,173
Good night.
(door closes)
179
00:07:31,174 --> 00:07:32,824
Appendicitis.
180
00:07:32,825 --> 00:07:35,511
What a nervous Nelly.
181
00:07:38,798 --> 00:07:40,132
Penny! Penny!
182
00:07:40,133 --> 00:07:41,884
Penny!
183
00:07:41,885 --> 00:07:44,803
Coming, coming.
184
00:07:44,804 --> 00:07:46,722
Hey, nice knees.
185
00:07:46,723 --> 00:07:47,806
Thank you.
186
00:07:47,807 --> 00:07:48,840
They're my mother's.
187
00:07:48,841 --> 00:07:51,360
Oh.
And the Flash
shirt is what?
188
00:07:51,361 --> 00:07:53,362
Because, what,
you're gonna run really fast?
189
00:07:53,363 --> 00:07:56,115
No, the Flash shirt is
because it's Friday,
190
00:07:56,116 --> 00:07:58,567
but it's nice when
things work out.
191
00:07:58,568 --> 00:08:00,652
Where's your
heart rate monitor?
I don't have one.
192
00:08:00,653 --> 00:08:02,454
What about your pedometer?
Don't have one.
193
00:08:02,455 --> 00:08:04,990
Do you have telematics
in your shoes connected
to an iPod?
194
00:08:04,991 --> 00:08:06,909
Uh, no.
What do you do,
195
00:08:06,910 --> 00:08:10,329
you just go out there
and gambol about
like a bunny?
196
00:08:10,330 --> 00:08:14,967
No. I just run till I'm hungry,
then I stop for a bear claw.
197
00:08:18,388 --> 00:08:19,704
Why are you doing that?
198
00:08:19,705 --> 00:08:22,341
It's good to stretch your
muscles before you run.
199
00:08:22,342 --> 00:08:23,592
All right.
All right,
200
00:08:23,593 --> 00:08:24,810
let's start with a toe touch.
201
00:08:24,811 --> 00:08:27,229
(exhales)
202
00:08:32,268 --> 00:08:34,853
Okay, you do it.
203
00:08:34,854 --> 00:08:36,822
I am doing it.
204
00:08:37,890 --> 00:08:39,525
Oh. Wow. Good job.
205
00:08:39,526 --> 00:08:40,743
Okay, um,
206
00:08:40,744 --> 00:08:42,444
can you do this?
207
00:08:44,164 --> 00:08:46,231
We'll never know.
208
00:08:46,232 --> 00:08:48,534
Okay, let's just warm up
on the run.
209
00:08:48,535 --> 00:08:50,119
Okay.
Okay, let's go.
210
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,204
I've been reading up
on biomechanics.
211
00:08:52,205 --> 00:08:54,022
I think you'll be
surprised at my...
212
00:08:54,023 --> 00:08:56,392
(both yell
and tumbling down stairs)
213
00:08:56,393 --> 00:08:58,560
PENNY:
Oh, my God,
are you okay?
214
00:08:58,561 --> 00:08:59,695
SHELDON:
I think so.
215
00:08:59,696 --> 00:09:02,030
Oh, let me
help you up.
Thank you.
216
00:09:02,031 --> 00:09:04,366
(loud fart)
217
00:09:04,367 --> 00:09:06,802
Oh, Sheldon!
218
00:09:06,803 --> 00:09:08,804
If it makes you
feel any better,
219
00:09:08,805 --> 00:09:12,307
Thursday is no longer
Cruciferous Vegetable Night.
220
00:09:13,526 --> 00:09:15,944
Here's my chicken curry.
221
00:09:15,945 --> 00:09:17,362
Howard, your
shrimp biryani.
222
00:09:17,363 --> 00:09:19,448
Thank you, sir.
Palak paneer,
that's Penny.
223
00:09:19,449 --> 00:09:22,201
Thanks.
And for Rajesh
Koothrappali,
224
00:09:22,202 --> 00:09:24,369
from whose homeland
these tasty dishes originate,
225
00:09:24,370 --> 00:09:26,771
one large order of
chicken McNuggets.
226
00:09:29,793 --> 00:09:32,127
Hey, what's my share?
Uh... 12 bucks.
227
00:09:32,128 --> 00:09:34,663
Okay, can I get you after Friday
when I get paid?
Sure.
228
00:09:34,664 --> 00:09:36,415
What am I up to now?
229
00:09:36,416 --> 00:09:38,750
Well, okay, with
the Indian food, the pizza,
230
00:09:38,751 --> 00:09:40,785
the Thai food, the tank of gas,
231
00:09:40,786 --> 00:09:42,454
the frozen yogurt
232
00:09:42,455 --> 00:09:44,756
and your rent, uh...
233
00:09:44,757 --> 00:09:47,626
a little over $1,400.
234
00:09:48,761 --> 00:09:50,512
(both snickering)
235
00:09:50,513 --> 00:09:51,847
What now?
236
00:09:51,848 --> 00:09:53,816
He's just expressing
his admiration that
237
00:09:53,817 --> 00:09:57,636
you don't even have to
put out to get free stuff.
238
00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,525
It's not free-- I'm
gonna pay him back.
239
00:10:03,526 --> 00:10:04,760
(snickering)
240
00:10:04,761 --> 00:10:07,696
Shut up!
241
00:10:07,697 --> 00:10:10,098
Sheldon, are you gonna join us?
242
00:10:10,099 --> 00:10:11,667
Coming!
243
00:10:26,049 --> 00:10:28,267
Greetings, friends.
244
00:10:28,268 --> 00:10:31,303
Greetings, whatever
the hell you are.
245
00:10:31,304 --> 00:10:34,740
I am a mobile
virtual presence device.
246
00:10:34,741 --> 00:10:36,325
Recent events
247
00:10:36,326 --> 00:10:39,761
have demonstrated to me
that my body is too fragile
248
00:10:39,762 --> 00:10:42,264
to endure the vicissitudes
of the world.
249
00:10:42,265 --> 00:10:44,733
Until such time as I am able
250
00:10:44,734 --> 00:10:46,168
to transfer my consciousness,
251
00:10:46,169 --> 00:10:49,004
I shall remain
in a secure location
252
00:10:49,005 --> 00:10:52,357
and interact with the world
in this manner.
253
00:10:53,159 --> 00:10:54,543
Really? That's
your question--
254
00:10:54,544 --> 00:10:57,079
when did he
put a ramp in?
255
00:11:03,353 --> 00:11:05,370
You're in my spot.
256
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:20,996
This may seem a little odd
at first,
257
00:11:20,997 --> 00:11:23,649
but over time,
you'll grow accustomed
258
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:26,902
to dealing with me
in this configuration.
259
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:29,838
Yeah, to be honest, I
don't see much difference.
260
00:11:29,839 --> 00:11:31,039
Thank you.
261
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,258
That's what I was going for.
262
00:11:34,544 --> 00:11:37,963
Now, Leonard, tomorrow,
when we go to work,
263
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,915
you'll need to allow
some extra time
264
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:41,733
to get me down the stairs.
265
00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:46,355
For your convenience,
I disassemble into four pieces.
266
00:11:46,356 --> 00:11:47,439
This is ridiculous.
267
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,607
I'm coming to talk to you.
268
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,909
(stammers)
You don't know where I am.
269
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:54,947
My physical body
is safely ensconced
270
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,649
in a secure,
undisclosed location.
271
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,251
You're in your bedroom.
272
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,836
No, I'm not.
273
00:12:00,837 --> 00:12:04,172
I can hear your voice
coming from your bedroom.
274
00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,509
(softly):
No, you can't.
275
00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:10,846
Wait.
276
00:12:10,847 --> 00:12:12,214
Come back.
277
00:12:12,215 --> 00:12:13,498
Halt.
278
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:16,885
Authorized personnel only!
279
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:19,371
So, either one
of you weirdos
280
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:22,374
want to buy my underwear?
Only 1,400 bucks.
281
00:12:26,696 --> 00:12:28,864
Sheldon,
this is ridiculous.
282
00:12:28,865 --> 00:12:30,432
I'm behind you.
283
00:12:30,433 --> 00:12:33,652
Please look at me when
you're talking to me.
284
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,153
I am looking at you.
285
00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:36,438
No, you're not.
286
00:12:36,439 --> 00:12:38,907
Pay no attention to
that man in the bed.
287
00:12:38,908 --> 00:12:40,208
You cannot exist
288
00:12:40,209 --> 00:12:41,960
as a virtual presence.
289
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:43,829
Not here
and certainly not at work.
290
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,697
Oh, good God.
291
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,265
At my age,
do you know
292
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,118
how I'm statistically
most likely to die?
293
00:12:50,119 --> 00:12:52,404
At the hands of your roommate?
294
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,972
An accident.
295
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:56,441
That's how I'm going
to make it look.
296
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:59,077
Until I can transfer
my intellect
297
00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:00,379
to a more durable container,
298
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:03,148
my body will remain
safely ensconced in my bed.
299
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,200
Fine, but don't expect my help.
300
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,769
You have to help--
it's in the roommate agreement.
301
00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:09,287
No, it's not.
302
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:13,592
Section 74.C.
303
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:16,111
The various obligations
and duties of the parties
304
00:13:16,112 --> 00:13:19,748
in the event one of
them becomes a robot.
305
00:13:20,616 --> 00:13:23,435
I'll be damned.
306
00:13:33,796 --> 00:13:35,597
This is delightful.
307
00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:37,599
Uh-huh.
308
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,885
It's much easier to enjoy
309
00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:41,887
the picturesque route
we travel to work
310
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:45,107
when you remove the specter
of fiery vehicular death.
311
00:13:45,108 --> 00:13:46,391
Refresh my memory.
312
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:48,944
Why didn't I just put you
in the trunk?
313
00:13:48,945 --> 00:13:51,947
Because I called shotgun.
Remember?
314
00:13:51,948 --> 00:13:54,616
Right.
315
00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:00,956
You seem tense.
316
00:14:00,957 --> 00:14:03,658
Perhaps this will relax you.
317
00:14:03,659 --> 00:14:06,378
(peaceful recorder music
playing)
318
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,803
I don't want to listen
to music, Sheldon.
319
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:18,423
Very well.
320
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:22,310
I don't understand
why you're not enjoying this.
321
00:14:22,311 --> 00:14:26,848
Together, in this car,
with my enhanced capabilities,
322
00:14:26,849 --> 00:14:29,351
we're like Knight Rider.
323
00:14:29,352 --> 00:14:33,188
Except in Knight Rider, the car
isn't a yammering sphincter.
324
00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:36,141
You mock the sphincter,
325
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:38,910
but the sphincter
is a class of muscle
326
00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:41,363
without which human beings
couldn't survive.
327
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,701
There are over 50
different sphincters
328
00:14:46,702 --> 00:14:48,370
in the human body.
329
00:14:48,371 --> 00:14:50,756
How many can you name?
330
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:54,659
I was wrong-- this is exactly
like Knight Rider.
331
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,796
Perhaps you'd be interested
in a different game.
332
00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:59,264
No.
333
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:00,849
This is a photograph of the 1911
334
00:15:00,850 --> 00:15:04,269
Solvay Conference on the theory
of radiation and quanta.
335
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:08,774
Using Photoshop, I've
introduced a few anachronisms.
336
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:11,143
See if you can spot all 24.
337
00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:12,644
I'll give you the first one.
338
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:16,948
Madame Curie should not
be wearing a digital watch.
339
00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:18,316
And go.
340
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:20,735
(Jeopardy! theme playing
over recorder)
341
00:15:20,736 --> 00:15:22,353
That's it. Bye-bye.
342
00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:24,823
(music stops)
343
00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:27,325
Bazinga.
Whoa!
344
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:29,411
(tires screeching, horn honking)
345
00:15:29,412 --> 00:15:31,713
I have an override switch.
346
00:15:31,714 --> 00:15:33,331
I almost died!
347
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:35,834
And I'm safe and sound in bed.
348
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,003
Who's crazy now?
349
00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:40,705
I'm still going
to go with you.
350
00:15:46,562 --> 00:15:48,713
Hello, Professor Hoskins.
351
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:51,433
Nice to see you, Mindy.
352
00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:54,236
And konnichiwa, Dr. Nakamora.
353
00:15:54,237 --> 00:15:57,889
Sorry the Swedes
disproved your theory.
354
00:16:04,914 --> 00:16:06,915
Leonard, my door.
355
00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:08,150
What about it?
356
00:16:08,151 --> 00:16:10,969
Be a lamb and open it for me.
357
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,921
Why? What's the problem?
358
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,746
You think you have me stymied,
don't you?
359
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:25,217
No, I think a doorknob
has you stymied.
360
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,771
Oh, look, it's Leonard
and R2-D-Bag.
361
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:33,275
That's my joke.
I told it last night.
362
00:16:33,276 --> 00:16:35,560
You can't just use it.
363
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:38,947
Raj, be a lamb
and open the door for me.
364
00:16:38,948 --> 00:16:41,533
Oh, sure.
365
00:16:43,786 --> 00:16:45,320
He's a lamb.
366
00:16:45,321 --> 00:16:47,122
You're not.
367
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,743
I'm a lamb.
368
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:55,847
Isn't this nice?
369
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:59,084
The pleasures of fellowship
and camaraderie
370
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:03,255
without having to tolerate
your germy breath on my skin.
371
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,340
I say we just take him
to Tatooine
372
00:17:05,341 --> 00:17:07,309
and sell him to some Jawas.
373
00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:08,977
That's two, dude.
374
00:17:08,978 --> 00:17:10,729
Write your own jokes.
375
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,848
Oh, great.
376
00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:15,633
(clears throat)
377
00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:17,519
Hi, I'm Penny,
I'll be your waitress.
378
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,154
Why are you introducing
yourself?
379
00:17:19,155 --> 00:17:20,322
I'd rather people not know
380
00:17:20,323 --> 00:17:22,857
I have any prior connection
to you whatsoever.
381
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,027
Can you tell me
the specials this evening?
382
00:17:26,028 --> 00:17:27,529
Sheldon, I'm not waiting on you.
383
00:17:27,530 --> 00:17:28,513
Obviously.
384
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,732
I don't even have
water yet.
385
00:17:30,733 --> 00:17:32,284
Because you're not here.
386
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:35,754
That's discrimination
against the otherwise located.
387
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:38,673
I'm going to have
to go over your head.
388
00:17:40,843 --> 00:17:44,496
Manager... manager.
389
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:48,216
Oh, Lord,
look who it is.
390
00:17:49,051 --> 00:17:51,386
Is that Steve Wozniak?
391
00:17:51,387 --> 00:17:52,270
I think it is.
392
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:55,040
The Great and Powerful Woz.
393
00:17:55,858 --> 00:17:56,891
Penny,
Steve Wozniak was
394
00:17:56,892 --> 00:17:57,859
one of the cofounders
395
00:17:57,860 --> 00:17:59,060
of Apple Computer.
396
00:17:59,061 --> 00:18:00,478
He and Steve Jobs started it...
Yeah,
397
00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:02,647
I know who he is.
I watch Dancing with the Stars.
398
00:18:03,699 --> 00:18:05,700
I must speak to him.
399
00:18:05,701 --> 00:18:07,118
Of course you must.
400
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,823
You know, there's an
Olive Garden down the street.
401
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:14,376
You guys should try it sometime.
402
00:18:14,377 --> 00:18:17,362
Excuse me,
Mr. Wozniak?
403
00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:18,530
Oh, hey.
404
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,432
Nice virtual presence device.
405
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,416
Thank you.
406
00:18:21,417 --> 00:18:23,969
I just want to say
I'm a big fan.
407
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:27,906
You're my 15th favorite
technological visionary.
408
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,557
Only 15th?
409
00:18:29,558 --> 00:18:33,161
It's still six spots
above Steve Jobs.
410
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,513
I care neither for turtlenecks
411
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:37,382
nor showmanship.
412
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:40,752
Yeah, I never got
that turtleneck thing.
413
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:44,689
One of my proudest possessions
is a vintage 1977 Apple Two.
414
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:49,210
Despite the file system
limitations of Apple DOS 3.3,
415
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,513
it was a pretty nifty
little achievement.
416
00:18:51,514 --> 00:18:53,798
Thanks, we were shooting
for "nifty."
417
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:55,650
You know, if you had it here,
418
00:18:55,651 --> 00:18:57,252
I'd autograph it for you.
419
00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,488
Don't move
for 15 to 30 minutes,
420
00:19:00,489 --> 00:19:03,191
depending on how
the buses are running.
421
00:19:04,994 --> 00:19:07,462
Nerds.
422
00:19:08,264 --> 00:19:10,548
(panting)
423
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,867
I'm coming, Woz, I'm coming.
424
00:19:12,868 --> 00:19:13,835
(gasps)
Ow!
425
00:19:13,836 --> 00:19:15,186
(clattering)
Oh!
426
00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:18,189
(shattering)
427
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:20,392
Aw.
428
00:19:34,501 --> 00:19:39,471
Penny... Penny... Penny.
429
00:19:41,357 --> 00:19:43,475
What up, Shel-Bot?
430
00:19:43,476 --> 00:19:45,344
I can't get out of bed.
431
00:19:45,345 --> 00:19:46,729
I hurt my ankle.
432
00:19:46,730 --> 00:19:48,313
What do you want me to do?
433
00:19:48,314 --> 00:19:50,649
Sing me "Soft Kitty."
434
00:19:50,650 --> 00:19:53,352
Really, you want me
to sing "Soft Kitty"
435
00:19:53,353 --> 00:19:54,987
to a computer monitor?
436
00:19:54,988 --> 00:19:57,823
Would you rather come over
and sing it to me in person?
437
00:19:57,824 --> 00:20:01,110
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪
438
00:20:01,111 --> 00:20:02,995
♪ Little ball of fur... ♪
439
00:20:02,996 --> 00:20:05,614
Closer to the microphone.
440
00:20:05,615 --> 00:20:08,917
♪ Happy kitty,
sleepy... ♪
441
00:20:08,918 --> 00:20:11,186
No.
442
00:20:11,187 --> 00:20:14,456
You have to start over.
443
00:20:14,457 --> 00:20:17,793
♪ Soft kitty,
warm kitty ♪
444
00:20:17,794 --> 00:20:20,929
♪ Little ball of fur ♪
445
00:20:20,930 --> 00:20:23,732
♪ Happy kitty,
sleepy kitty ♪
446
00:20:23,733 --> 00:20:25,084
♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪
447
00:20:25,085 --> 00:20:28,819
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --