1
00:00:01,323 --> 00:00:03,091
Yeah, I miss you, too, sweetie.
2
00:00:03,158 --> 00:00:06,069
Listen, I got to go,
but I'll see you tonight?
3
00:00:06,104 --> 00:00:06,891
Okay.
4
00:00:06,959 --> 00:00:09,404
Bye-bye.
5
00:00:09,472 --> 00:00:11,481
No, you hang up first.
6
00:00:12,484 --> 00:00:14,486
Hello?
7
00:00:15,623 --> 00:00:17,561
Dude, I'm glad you finally got a girlfriend,
8
00:00:17,628 --> 00:00:20,263
but do you have to do all
that lovey-dovey stuff
9
00:00:20,331 --> 00:00:22,231
in front of those of us who don't?
10
00:00:22,299 --> 00:00:23,670
Actually, he might have to.
11
00:00:23,737 --> 00:00:26,473
There's an economic concept
known as a positional good
12
00:00:26,541 --> 00:00:29,210
in which an object is only
valued by the possessor
13
00:00:29,277 --> 00:00:30,910
because it's not possessed by others.
14
00:00:30,978 --> 00:00:32,414
The term was coined in 1976
15
00:00:32,482 --> 00:00:34,647
by economist Fred Hirsch
16
00:00:34,715 --> 00:00:36,049
to replace the more colloquial,
17
00:00:36,116 --> 00:00:38,750
but less precise "neener-neener."
18
00:00:38,818 --> 00:00:39,919
That's not true.
19
00:00:39,987 --> 00:00:41,288
My happiness is not dependent
20
00:00:41,356 --> 00:00:43,756
on my best friend being miserable and alone.
21
00:00:43,824 --> 00:00:44,824
Thank you.
22
00:00:44,892 --> 00:00:46,759
Although, I'd be lying if I said
23
00:00:46,827 --> 00:00:47,760
it wasn't a little bit of a perk.
24
00:00:47,828 --> 00:00:49,095
Who's miserable and alone?
25
00:00:49,162 --> 00:00:49,862
Me.
26
00:00:49,930 --> 00:00:51,029
Oh.
27
00:00:51,097 --> 00:00:52,264
I used to be like that.
28
00:00:52,331 --> 00:00:53,432
Then I got a girlfriend.
29
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:58,305
In pre-1976 terms, neener-neener.
30
00:00:58,373 --> 00:00:59,873
Hey, what are you and Bernadette doing
31
00:00:59,941 --> 00:01:01,008
for your first Valentine's Day?
32
00:01:01,075 --> 00:01:02,776
Yeah, I am pulling out all the stops.
33
00:01:02,844 --> 00:01:06,982
There's a $39.95 lover's
special at P.F. Chang's.
34
00:01:07,950 --> 00:01:09,117
Egg rolls, dumplings,
35
00:01:09,185 --> 00:01:11,486
bottomless wok,
and you get your picture taken
36
00:01:11,554 --> 00:01:14,289
on the big marble horse out front.
37
00:01:14,357 --> 00:01:17,992
Given that Saint Valentine was
a third century Roman priest
38
00:01:18,060 --> 00:01:19,695
who was stoned and beheaded,
39
00:01:19,763 --> 00:01:22,197
wouldn't a more appropriate
celebration of the evening
40
00:01:22,265 --> 00:01:25,835
be taking one's steady gal
to witness a brutal murder?
41
00:01:25,903 --> 00:01:29,505
I understand your point, but given a choice,
42
00:01:29,573 --> 00:01:31,607
Jews always go with Chinese food.
43
00:01:33,743 --> 00:01:34,877
Well, if anyone's interested,
44
00:01:34,944 --> 00:01:36,344
I'll be spending this Valentine's Day
45
00:01:36,412 --> 00:01:38,380
the same way I spend every Valentine's Day.
46
00:01:38,447 --> 00:01:40,214
Buying a rotisserie chicken
from the supermarket,
47
00:01:40,282 --> 00:01:42,049
taking it home, standing over the sink
48
00:01:42,117 --> 00:01:43,884
and eating it out of the package
49
00:01:43,952 --> 00:01:45,886
with my bare hands like an animal.
50
00:01:45,954 --> 00:01:49,856
Okay, so to sum up: one giant marble horse,
51
00:01:49,924 --> 00:01:51,825
one asinine comment,
52
00:01:51,893 --> 00:01:52,894
one lonely
53
00:01:52,961 --> 00:01:54,295
man and his chicken.
54
00:01:54,363 --> 00:01:55,630
And let's see. Who's left?
55
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,699
Oh, that's right. My plans.
56
00:02:01,738 --> 00:02:03,506
Isn't anyone going to ask?
57
00:02:03,574 --> 00:02:05,308
Fine, tell us you're going
to have sex with Penny.
58
00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:07,010
That's not what I was going to tell you.
59
00:02:07,078 --> 00:02:08,345
It's okay.
60
00:02:08,412 --> 00:02:10,314
I don't mind hearing about
your sex life.
61
00:02:10,382 --> 00:02:11,749
It's his that bugs me.
62
00:02:13,651 --> 00:02:16,453
Guess who the university
is sending to Switzerland
63
00:02:16,521 --> 00:02:18,955
to attend a conference and
see the CERN supercollider
64
00:02:19,023 --> 00:02:20,757
on February 14?
65
00:02:20,824 --> 00:02:22,859
Professor Norton, although, God knows why.
66
00:02:22,926 --> 00:02:24,427
He hasn't published anything of note
67
00:02:24,494 --> 00:02:26,362
since he won that Nobel Prize.
68
00:02:26,430 --> 00:02:28,030
Actually, Professor Norton can't make it.
69
00:02:28,098 --> 00:02:29,531
He threw his back out rock climbing.
70
00:02:29,599 --> 00:02:32,401
I heard he threw his back out
climbing on his new girlfriend.
71
00:02:32,469 --> 00:02:34,136
The big-boobed weather girl on Channel 2?
72
00:02:34,204 --> 00:02:34,871
That's the one.
73
00:02:34,939 --> 00:02:36,273
In any case,
74
00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:38,475
they're asking me to fill in for him.
75
00:02:38,543 --> 00:02:41,378
In Switzerland or with the bi
g-boobed weather girl?
76
00:02:41,446 --> 00:02:43,214
Switzerland.
77
00:02:43,282 --> 00:02:45,216
And I get to bring a guest!
78
00:02:45,284 --> 00:02:47,085
Oh, man! No way, dude!
79
00:02:47,153 --> 00:02:48,253
This is incredible!
80
00:02:48,321 --> 00:02:49,754
I'm so happy,
81
00:02:49,822 --> 00:02:52,458
I'm not even going to question
their judgment in picking you.
82
00:02:52,526 --> 00:02:55,228
I'm just going to run
home and start packing.
83
00:02:57,131 --> 00:03:00,134
Why wouldn't you take Penny?
84
00:03:00,201 --> 00:03:03,805
I am taking Penny.
85
00:03:03,872 --> 00:03:05,573
Oh.
86
00:03:05,641 --> 00:03:07,809
Well, then I anticipate an awkward situation
87
00:03:07,877 --> 00:03:09,277
when you get home.
88
00:03:10,746 --> 00:03:14,282
âTª Our whole universe was in a hot,
dense state âTª
89
00:03:14,350 --> 00:03:17,586
âTª Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! âTª
90
00:03:17,654 --> 00:03:19,655
âTª The Earth began to cool âTª
91
00:03:19,723 --> 00:03:22,692
âTª The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools âTª
92
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,194
âTª We built the Wall âTª âTª We built the
pyramids âTª
93
00:03:24,261 --> 00:03:27,096
âTª Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery âTª
94
00:03:27,164 --> 00:03:29,065
âTª That all started with a big bang âTª
95
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:30,767
âTª Bang! âTª
96
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,360
(knocking)
97
00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:41,728
Sheldon, you got a minute?
98
00:03:41,796 --> 00:03:43,431
Of course, my good friend.
99
00:03:43,498 --> 00:03:44,632
Come in.
100
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:47,068
Help me out.
101
00:03:47,136 --> 00:03:50,372
Which ski hat says après
supercollider?
102
00:03:52,709 --> 00:03:55,344
Sheldon, I'm not taking you to Switzerland.
103
00:03:55,412 --> 00:03:56,846
Well, of course you are.
104
00:03:56,914 --> 00:03:58,214
Who else would you take?
105
00:03:58,282 --> 00:03:59,348
Penny.
106
00:03:59,416 --> 00:04:00,516
What?
107
00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:01,817
That's absurd.
108
00:04:01,885 --> 00:04:04,887
Penny has no interest in
subatomic particle research.
109
00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:07,689
Yes, but it'll be Valentine's Day.
110
00:04:07,757 --> 00:04:09,891
We can go sightseeing and skiing
111
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,260
and make love in front of a roaring fire
112
00:04:12,327 --> 00:04:14,895
in the shadow of the snowcapped Alps.
113
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:19,733
But Penny has no interest in
subatomic particle research.
114
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,002
I'm sorry, Sheldon.
115
00:04:22,070 --> 00:04:23,037
Sorry?
116
00:04:23,105 --> 00:04:24,238
I've been dreaming
117
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:26,107
about going to the Large Hadron Collider
118
00:04:26,175 --> 00:04:27,743
since I was nine years old.
119
00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:30,112
Yeah, well, I've been dreaming
about spending Valentine's Day
120
00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:32,782
with a girl since I was six.
121
00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:35,018
Shame on you!
122
00:04:35,086 --> 00:04:38,589
That's no dream for a scientist!
123
00:04:39,958 --> 00:04:41,759
Okay, what's the big surprise?
124
00:04:41,826 --> 00:04:43,427
Just a minute.
125
00:04:43,494 --> 00:04:46,363
This tray contains clues
126
00:04:46,431 --> 00:04:50,000
as to what you and I are going
to be doing on Valentine's Day.
127
00:04:50,068 --> 00:04:52,302
Oh. Wow. Okay.
128
00:04:52,370 --> 00:04:53,637
Let's see.
129
00:04:53,704 --> 00:04:55,839
We've got, uh, milk chocolate,
130
00:04:55,940 --> 00:04:59,275
Swiss cheese, fondue.
131
00:04:59,343 --> 00:05:02,279
My lactose-intolerant boyfriend
is going to eat all this.
132
00:05:02,347 --> 00:05:04,381
Then I'm going to climb on his back
133
00:05:04,449 --> 00:05:06,449
and rocket to the moon?
134
00:05:10,154 --> 00:05:11,955
No.
135
00:05:13,124 --> 00:05:15,592
But it does involve air travel.
136
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,594
Okay, um...
137
00:05:18,662 --> 00:05:22,465
let me slice this Swiss cheese
138
00:05:22,533 --> 00:05:24,867
with my Swiss army knife,
139
00:05:24,935 --> 00:05:27,269
and then you can wash it down with a cup
140
00:05:27,337 --> 00:05:31,439
of Swiss Miss instant cocoa.
141
00:05:31,507 --> 00:05:34,576
Okay, I'm starting to
think Swiss is key here.
142
00:05:34,643 --> 00:05:36,744
Uh-huh.
143
00:05:36,812 --> 00:05:39,481
We're going to Disneyland
and ride the Matterhorn?
144
00:05:42,185 --> 00:05:44,119
How does that involve air travel?
145
00:05:44,187 --> 00:05:49,090
We're going to Disney World and
ride the Matterhorn?
146
00:05:49,158 --> 00:05:50,658
No.
147
00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:52,294
Okay, sweetie, this started out fun,
148
00:05:52,362 --> 00:05:53,796
but I'm over it.
149
00:05:53,863 --> 00:05:56,666
We're going to Switzerland
150
00:05:56,734 --> 00:05:59,002
to see the CERN supercollider!
151
00:06:00,938 --> 00:06:03,339
And ski. We'll also go skiing.
152
00:06:03,407 --> 00:06:05,942
We're going skiing in Switzerland?!
153
00:06:06,009 --> 00:06:08,011
Well, you'll ski, I'll fall, but, yeah,
154
00:06:08,078 --> 00:06:11,046
we will be in Switzerland
for Valentine's Day.
155
00:06:11,114 --> 00:06:12,982
Oh, my God, Leonard!
156
00:06:13,050 --> 00:06:14,784
That's incredible!
157
00:06:14,851 --> 00:06:16,285
SHELDON: Not so fast.
158
00:06:16,353 --> 00:06:17,653
You might want to hold off
159
00:06:17,721 --> 00:06:19,655
on lighting your rabeliechtli, Penny.
160
00:06:19,723 --> 00:06:21,224
Rabe-what-ly?
161
00:06:21,292 --> 00:06:22,558
Rabeliechtli.
162
00:06:22,626 --> 00:06:23,893
It means turnip light
163
00:06:23,961 --> 00:06:25,561
and refers to a traditional lantern
164
00:06:25,629 --> 00:06:26,963
hand-carved from a root vegetable
165
00:06:27,030 --> 00:06:28,965
and used to celebrate
certain Swiss festivals.
166
00:06:29,033 --> 00:06:30,533
Which you will not be celebrating
167
00:06:30,601 --> 00:06:33,503
because A: these festivals
occur in the fall;
168
00:06:33,571 --> 00:06:34,971
and B:
169
00:06:35,039 --> 00:06:37,641
you will not be going to Switzerland.
170
00:06:37,708 --> 00:06:39,276
Sheldon, we've been through this.
171
00:06:39,343 --> 00:06:40,810
I'm taking Penny.
172
00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:41,978
Afraid not.
173
00:06:42,046 --> 00:06:43,146
Do you recognize this?
174
00:06:43,214 --> 00:06:45,148
Not the roommate agreement.
175
00:06:45,216 --> 00:06:47,049
Indeed, the roommate agreement.
176
00:06:47,117 --> 00:06:49,852
I call your attention
to the Friendship Rider
177
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,687
in Appendix C: Future Commitments.
178
00:06:51,755 --> 00:06:54,689
"Number 37: in the event
one friend is ever invited
179
00:06:54,757 --> 00:06:56,758
"to visit the Large Hadron Collider,
180
00:06:56,825 --> 00:06:58,426
"now under construction in Switzerland,
181
00:06:58,494 --> 00:07:00,896
he shall invite the other
friend to accompany him."
182
00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:02,497
Oh, for God's sakes.
183
00:07:02,565 --> 00:07:05,234
You actually put that in an agreement?
184
00:07:05,302 --> 00:07:07,103
Yeah. We also put in what happens
185
00:07:07,170 --> 00:07:09,005
if one of us wins a MacArthur Grant,
186
00:07:09,072 --> 00:07:10,740
or if one of us gets superpowers,
187
00:07:10,808 --> 00:07:13,343
or if one of us is bitten by a zombie.
188
00:07:13,411 --> 00:07:16,546
He can't kill me, even if I turn.
189
00:07:16,614 --> 00:07:20,351
Is there anything in there about
if one of you gets a girlfriend?
190
00:07:20,418 --> 00:07:22,853
No, that seemed a little farfetched.
191
00:07:25,523 --> 00:07:28,591
Sheldon, do you really
expect to enforce this?
192
00:07:28,659 --> 00:07:29,792
I've lived up
193
00:07:29,860 --> 00:07:31,460
to all my commitments under the agreement.
194
00:07:31,528 --> 00:07:33,862
At least once a day I ask how you are,
195
00:07:33,930 --> 00:07:35,330
even though I simply don't care.
196
00:07:35,398 --> 00:07:36,698
I no longer
197
00:07:36,766 --> 00:07:39,801
stage spontaneous biohazard
drills after 10:00 p.m.
198
00:07:39,868 --> 00:07:43,404
And I abandoned my goal to
master Tuvan throat singing.
199
00:07:43,472 --> 00:07:45,673
Okay, I know I shouldn't ask,
but what is...? No.
200
00:07:45,741 --> 00:07:47,742
(low, two-toned vocalizing)
201
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:57,686
I'd be much further along if
I'd been allowed to practice.
202
00:07:57,753 --> 00:07:59,221
Look, Sheldon,
203
00:07:59,289 --> 00:08:00,622
I know it's in the agreement,
204
00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:03,959
and if you turn into a zombie,
I promise I will not kill you.
205
00:08:04,027 --> 00:08:06,095
In fact, I'll even let you eat my brains.
206
00:08:06,163 --> 00:08:08,197
But I am taking Penny to Switzerland.
207
00:08:08,265 --> 00:08:09,699
Is that your final decision?
208
00:08:09,767 --> 00:08:10,700
It is.
209
00:08:10,768 --> 00:08:13,670
Very well.
210
00:08:14,706 --> 00:08:16,708
It's not over, is it?
211
00:08:16,809 --> 00:08:18,810
What do you think?
212
00:08:18,878 --> 00:08:21,612
(low, two-toned vocalizing)
213
00:08:31,824 --> 00:08:34,859
Got a bit of traffic this morning, huh?
214
00:08:37,795 --> 00:08:40,096
Think it's gonna rain?
215
00:08:41,732 --> 00:08:43,466
Instead of underpants,
216
00:08:43,534 --> 00:08:45,835
I covered my crotch with
potato salad this morning.
217
00:08:45,902 --> 00:08:47,136
Thoughts?
218
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,972
Okay, I know what'll cheer you up.
219
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,108
Let's play one of your driving games.
220
00:08:53,175 --> 00:08:55,743
All right.
221
00:08:55,811 --> 00:08:57,445
This game is called Traitors.
222
00:08:59,415 --> 00:09:01,315
I will name three historical figures,
223
00:09:01,383 --> 00:09:02,650
you put them in order
224
00:09:02,718 --> 00:09:04,452
of the heinousness of their betrayal.
225
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:09,190
Benedict Arnold, Judas, Dr.
Leonard Hofstadter.
226
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:12,693
You really think I belong with
Benedict Arnold and Judas?
227
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:13,861
You're right.
228
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,663
Judas had the decency to hang himself
229
00:09:15,731 --> 00:09:16,831
after what he did.
230
00:09:16,899 --> 00:09:18,033
Come on, Sheldon.
231
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,001
Can't you at least try to understand
232
00:09:20,069 --> 00:09:21,803
how much this means to me?
233
00:09:23,005 --> 00:09:25,440
Round two: Leonard Hofstadter,
234
00:09:25,507 --> 00:09:28,543
Darth Vader, Rupert Murdoch.
235
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:29,844
Rupert Murdoch?
236
00:09:29,912 --> 00:09:33,047
He owns Fox, and they
cancelled Firefly.
237
00:09:34,583 --> 00:09:38,753
Hint: he and Darth Vader are tied for #2.
238
00:09:42,424 --> 00:09:44,558
I'm sorry I couldn't
hang with you last night.
239
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,027
I had a date with Bernadette.
240
00:09:46,094 --> 00:09:47,228
I know.
241
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,163
I saw the Tweet.
242
00:09:49,231 --> 00:09:50,731
So, what did you end up doing?
243
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:51,899
Not much.
244
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,367
Nuked a burrito. Oh.
245
00:09:53,435 --> 00:09:55,870
Prayed to the Hindu god Urvashi
that your bowels would loosen
246
00:09:55,937 --> 00:09:58,005
and your penis would
droop like a willow tree.
247
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,540
You seen Sheldon?
248
00:10:00,608 --> 00:10:02,709
No. Is he still mad about the supercollider?
249
00:10:02,777 --> 00:10:04,710
Yeah. He thinks I betrayed him.
250
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:05,878
I mean, come on.
251
00:10:05,946 --> 00:10:07,880
What would you guys do if you were me?
252
00:10:07,948 --> 00:10:10,316
I'd take Sheldon to Switzerland.
253
00:10:10,383 --> 00:10:11,484
Seriously?
254
00:10:11,551 --> 00:10:12,651
Absolutely.
255
00:10:12,719 --> 00:10:13,885
And I'd leave him there.
256
00:10:21,259 --> 00:10:24,229
What the hell is that?
257
00:10:24,296 --> 00:10:26,264
Uh, let's see.
258
00:10:26,332 --> 00:10:29,040
Yup, 30 pieces of silverware.
259
00:10:51,768 --> 00:10:53,103
Morning, old chum.
260
00:10:53,271 --> 00:10:54,604
What's going on?
261
00:10:54,672 --> 00:10:56,440
I've made you breakfast.
262
00:10:56,508 --> 00:10:58,442
Juice, coffee,
263
00:10:58,510 --> 00:11:00,444
and pancakes in the shape of some
264
00:11:00,512 --> 00:11:02,347
of your favorite fictional characters.
265
00:11:02,414 --> 00:11:04,382
See, here's Frodo.
266
00:11:04,450 --> 00:11:06,551
You made Frodo pancakes?
267
00:11:06,619 --> 00:11:09,621
Yeah, I used coconut shavings
to do the hair on his feet.
268
00:11:09,689 --> 00:11:13,058
If you need to void your
bladder before eating,
269
00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:15,493
I can keep them warm with this beret
270
00:11:15,561 --> 00:11:16,594
that I thoroughly laundered
271
00:11:16,662 --> 00:11:18,404
and pressed into service as a pancake cozy.
272
00:11:20,191 --> 00:11:22,131
Why are you doing this?
273
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:25,191
It's by way of an apology
for my recent behavior.
274
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,676
I've had some time
275
00:11:26,711 --> 00:11:29,076
to reflect and I've come to realize
276
00:11:29,111 --> 00:11:31,263
that friendship is not an aggregation
277
00:11:31,298 --> 00:11:32,565
of written agreements.
278
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,324
It's a result of two people
279
00:11:34,359 --> 00:11:36,509
respecting and caring for each other.
280
00:11:36,544 --> 00:11:37,919
Butterscotch scone?
281
00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:40,554
Thanks.
282
00:11:42,573 --> 00:11:43,697
It's good.
283
00:11:43,732 --> 00:11:46,362
What you're tasting is
respect and affection.
284
00:11:47,262 --> 00:11:49,517
And about a pound of Crisco.
285
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,569
After you've finished breakfast,
286
00:11:52,604 --> 00:11:54,118
I thought we could spend the day
287
00:11:54,153 --> 00:11:56,192
watching the final season
of Babylon 5
288
00:11:56,227 --> 00:11:57,599
with director commentary.
289
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,288
You hate Babylon 5.
290
00:11:59,323 --> 00:12:01,608
I do. It fails as drama/science fiction,
291
00:12:01,643 --> 00:12:02,945
and it's hopelessly derivative.
292
00:12:03,479 --> 00:12:05,726
But you like it, and you're my friend.
293
00:12:06,415 --> 00:12:08,850
Okay, great.
294
00:12:10,653 --> 00:12:13,118
Still not taking you to Switzerland.
295
00:12:13,153 --> 00:12:14,031
Drat.
296
00:12:18,150 --> 00:12:20,033
No Frodo for you.
297
00:12:24,803 --> 00:12:26,916
Hello.
298
00:12:26,917 --> 00:12:28,743
***
299
00:12:29,769 --> 00:12:31,899
I believe you know why I'm here.
300
00:12:31,934 --> 00:12:34,470
Well, I always figured it was to study us,
301
00:12:34,505 --> 00:12:35,597
discover our weaknesses,
302
00:12:35,632 --> 00:12:37,603
and report back to your alien overlords.
303
00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:41,143
****
304
00:12:41,855 --> 00:12:43,102
Extraordinary intelligence
305
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:45,071
might well appear extraterrestrial to you,
306
00:12:45,106 --> 00:12:47,747
but let me be more specific.
307
00:12:47,782 --> 00:12:50,691
I believe you know why I'm
here in the laundry room.
308
00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:53,514
Better acoustics for your throat singing?
309
00:12:54,928 --> 00:13:00,800
(low, two-toned vocalizing)
310
00:13:01,506 --> 00:13:03,160
It's actually not bad.
311
00:13:04,109 --> 00:13:07,299
But my true purpose in being here
312
00:13:07,334 --> 00:13:11,380
will be revealed in this brief
PowerPoint presentation.
313
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:13,427
Lights.
314
00:13:22,124 --> 00:13:24,935
Why Sheldon Cooper, PhD,
should go to Switzerland
315
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,621
to see the CERN supercollider:
316
00:13:26,656 --> 00:13:29,154
a PowerPoint presentation
by Sheldon Cooper, PhD.
317
00:13:29,189 --> 00:13:31,899
Oh, for God's sake.
318
00:13:32,876 --> 00:13:35,545
Here we have a highly gifted researcher
319
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:37,134
in the field of particle physics
320
00:13:37,169 --> 00:13:38,967
whose work has brought him to the precipice
321
00:13:39,002 --> 00:13:41,678
of forever changing mankind's
understanding of the universe.
322
00:13:41,713 --> 00:13:43,471
AKA me.
323
00:13:44,387 --> 00:13:46,571
And here we have a waitress
324
00:13:46,606 --> 00:13:48,091
brushing her teeth with her finger.
325
00:13:49,355 --> 00:13:51,429
AKA you.
326
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,161
I'm sorry.
327
00:13:53,196 --> 00:13:54,637
Is this supposed to be buttering me up?
328
00:13:54,638 --> 00:13:57,268
****
329
00:13:57,303 --> 00:14:00,454
This is the Large Hadron Collider
330
00:14:00,489 --> 00:14:01,904
at CERN in Switzerland,
331
00:14:01,939 --> 00:14:04,686
the product of decades of
planning and construction.
332
00:14:04,721 --> 00:14:06,908
It is a mecca for physicists the world over.
333
00:14:06,943 --> 00:14:10,391
This is Bath and Body Works
334
00:14:10,426 --> 00:14:12,044
on Colorado Boulevard.
335
00:14:12,079 --> 00:14:14,509
They sell scented soaps and lotions,
336
00:14:14,544 --> 00:14:15,951
some of which contain glitter.
337
00:14:15,986 --> 00:14:19,264
Now, let's see if we can
match the individual
338
00:14:19,299 --> 00:14:21,448
to the appropriate destination.
339
00:14:21,483 --> 00:14:22,982
O- kay.
340
00:14:23,017 --> 00:14:24,074
Show's over.
341
00:14:24,109 --> 00:14:25,171
No, it's not.
342
00:14:25,206 --> 00:14:26,794
I've got five more slides.
343
00:14:26,829 --> 00:14:29,121
Sheldon, this is Leonard's decision.
344
00:14:29,156 --> 00:14:31,662
He invited me to Switzerland,
and I intend to go.
345
00:14:35,189 --> 00:14:36,679
Very well.
346
00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:39,552
Enjoy yourself.
347
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,819
You're going to be in the
presence of something
348
00:14:41,854 --> 00:14:43,833
that I've dreamed of seeing for decades.
349
00:14:44,953 --> 00:14:46,379
I just hope you'll be able to appreciate
350
00:14:46,414 --> 00:14:50,037
the magnitude of where you
are and what it represents.
351
00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:54,408
I'll talk to Leonard.
352
00:14:55,596 --> 00:14:57,176
You will?
353
00:14:57,211 --> 00:14:58,405
Yes.
354
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,040
If it means that much to you, you should go.
355
00:15:01,075 --> 00:15:04,344
Oh, Penny, thank you!
356
00:15:05,508 --> 00:15:07,931
You're welcome.
357
00:15:07,966 --> 00:15:09,376
Since I rarely hug,
358
00:15:09,411 --> 00:15:11,977
I'm relying on your expertise
regarding duration.
359
00:15:13,155 --> 00:15:14,371
I think we're there.
360
00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:17,743
Bye-bye.
361
00:15:21,886 --> 00:15:22,906
You know what?
362
00:15:22,941 --> 00:15:24,574
Even though I don't have a girlfriend,
363
00:15:24,609 --> 00:15:26,575
I can still have a good
time on Valentine's Day.
364
00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:28,444
Trust me, you can't. I've tried.
365
00:15:29,335 --> 00:15:31,793
No, no, no, I'm going to have a "me" day.
366
00:15:31,828 --> 00:15:34,679
First I'm going to go to one
of those spas in Koreatown,
367
00:15:34,714 --> 00:15:36,441
take a steam and get a massage.
368
00:15:36,476 --> 00:15:40,310
Then I'm going to stop at a pet
store and get licked by puppies.
369
00:15:43,047 --> 00:15:44,746
Sheldon, I need to talk to you.
370
00:15:44,781 --> 00:15:46,193
All right, my friend.
371
00:15:46,228 --> 00:15:48,306
Would you like some cholermus?
372
00:15:48,341 --> 00:15:50,101
Some what? Cholermus.
373
00:15:50,136 --> 00:15:51,965
It's a traditional Swiss breakfast dish.
374
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,224
I'm preparing my gastrointestinal system
375
00:15:54,259 --> 00:15:56,122
for the exotic cuisine of Switzerland.
376
00:15:57,185 --> 00:15:59,784
You're not going to Switzerland!
377
00:15:59,819 --> 00:16:01,268
Oh, but I am.
378
00:16:01,303 --> 00:16:02,960
Didn't Penny tell you the good news?
379
00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:04,621
She told me that you went behind my back
380
00:16:04,656 --> 00:16:06,664
to guilt her into letting
you go instead of her.
381
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,871
Yes, that good news.
382
00:16:09,649 --> 00:16:11,887
Well, forget it.
I was the one who was invited.
383
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,369
I get to decide who goes with me,
384
00:16:13,404 --> 00:16:15,267
and it's Penny, not you!
385
00:16:15,302 --> 00:16:16,760
Howard, could you lower the lights?
386
00:16:16,761 --> 00:16:19,020
I have a short PowerPoint presentation.
387
00:16:19,055 --> 00:16:21,566
I don't need to see your presentation.
388
00:16:21,601 --> 00:16:22,836
This discussion is over!
389
00:16:22,871 --> 00:16:25,510
That's a somewhat ambiguous response.
390
00:16:25,545 --> 00:16:26,395
Am I going or not?
391
00:16:27,460 --> 00:16:28,912
Sheldon, at this point,
392
00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:31,795
I would go by myself
before I would take you.
393
00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:32,815
Really?
394
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:33,874
Yeah, really.
395
00:16:33,875 --> 00:16:37,376
****
396
00:16:37,411 --> 00:16:38,711
From this moment forward,
397
00:16:38,746 --> 00:16:42,246
we can be roommates,
but we will no longer be friends.
398
00:16:42,281 --> 00:16:44,151
I'm sorry you feel that way.
399
00:16:44,186 --> 00:16:45,773
I don't think you're fully aware
400
00:16:45,808 --> 00:16:48,457
of the ramifications here, Leonard. (sighs)
401
00:16:48,492 --> 00:16:50,369
Why don't you enlighten me?
402
00:16:50,404 --> 00:16:53,368
With the friendship clause of
our roommate agreement nullified
403
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,622
you are no longer entitled to accompany me
404
00:16:55,657 --> 00:16:58,085
to go swimming at Bill Gates'
house should I be invited.
405
00:17:03,294 --> 00:17:05,571
Ooh, that's gotta sting.
406
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,510
Just think, this time tomorrow
407
00:17:10,545 --> 00:17:12,153
we'll be in Geneva, Switzerland
408
00:17:12,188 --> 00:17:14,096
for our first Valentine's Day.
409
00:17:14,131 --> 00:17:15,187
I know!
410
00:17:15,222 --> 00:17:16,622
I went shopping today
411
00:17:16,657 --> 00:17:18,987
and bought special undies for the occasion.
412
00:17:19,256 --> 00:17:21,402
Thermal? 'Cause it's gonna be cold.
413
00:17:21,437 --> 00:17:24,213
Think it through, Leonard.
414
00:17:25,206 --> 00:17:27,113
Oh! Oh!
415
00:17:27,148 --> 00:17:27,998
(both laugh)
416
00:17:29,151 --> 00:17:30,001
(sneezes)
417
00:17:30,036 --> 00:17:31,229
Gesundheit.
418
00:17:32,004 --> 00:17:33,100
Or as they say in Switzerland,
419
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,820
gesundheit.
420
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,255
You getting a cold?
421
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:40,401
No, no, it's probably just allergies.
422
00:17:42,612 --> 00:17:43,748
Do you want an allergy pill?
423
00:17:43,783 --> 00:17:44,668
'Cause I have 'em all.
424
00:17:44,703 --> 00:17:46,194
Prescription, nonprescription,
425
00:17:46,229 --> 00:17:47,919
foreign, domestic, experimental.
426
00:17:49,161 --> 00:17:50,536
Do any of them work?
427
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:52,818
******
428
00:17:54,045 --> 00:17:56,380
(blowing)
429
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:02,272
(Penny vomiting)
430
00:18:03,474 --> 00:18:04,826
Penny?
431
00:18:05,231 --> 00:18:07,494
(toilet flushing)
432
00:18:07,529 --> 00:18:08,341
You okay?
433
00:18:08,376 --> 00:18:10,675
Did that sound okay to you?
434
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:14,132
Do not come in here!
435
00:18:14,684 --> 00:18:16,657
What's going on?
436
00:18:16,692 --> 00:18:17,829
I'm having a tea party.
437
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,450
What do you think's going on?
438
00:18:19,485 --> 00:18:21,873
(hocking loogie)
439
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,737
I think I might have the flu.
440
00:18:24,772 --> 00:18:27,389
(vomiting)
441
00:18:27,424 --> 00:18:29,481
Or the plague.
442
00:18:31,071 --> 00:18:33,705
Well, our plane leaves at 9:00 a.m.
443
00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:35,266
Do you think you'll feel better by then?
444
00:18:35,301 --> 00:18:38,117
(vomiting)
445
00:18:38,152 --> 00:18:38,948
Yep.
446
00:18:38,983 --> 00:18:40,626
'Cause I'm gonna be dead.
447
00:18:44,429 --> 00:18:45,695
Hey, Sheldon?
448
00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:48,184
Listen, Penny is pretty sick
449
00:18:48,219 --> 00:18:50,507
and she's not going to be
able to go to Switzerland.
450
00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:54,206
So if you're still interested,
you're welcome to come.
451
00:18:54,241 --> 00:18:58,770
(vomiting, coughing)
452
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,908
(toilet flushing)
453
00:19:01,943 --> 00:19:03,827
Great.
454
00:19:03,862 --> 00:19:05,658
I'll start packing.
455
00:19:06,326 --> 00:19:08,607
In a minute.
456
00:19:12,427 --> 00:19:15,500
Oh, look, it's the cholermus.
457
00:19:15,535 --> 00:19:18,138
(vomiting)
458
00:19:27,370 --> 00:19:29,222
Here's your soup.
459
00:19:29,257 --> 00:19:30,485
Chicken? Yes.
460
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,498
With the little stars? Yes.
461
00:19:32,533 --> 00:19:34,333
Heated to 180 degrees?
462
00:19:35,127 --> 00:19:38,552
*******
463
00:19:38,587 --> 00:19:40,701
You don't have to be mean.
464
00:19:40,736 --> 00:19:42,102
I'm sick.
465
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:43,689
Yeah, well, I'm sick, too.
466
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,019
Not my problem.
467
00:19:47,512 --> 00:19:49,804
I just don't understand
how this happened to me.
468
00:19:49,839 --> 00:19:51,859
I'm scrupulous about my hygiene.
469
00:19:51,894 --> 00:19:53,876
I regularly disinfect my hands,
470
00:19:53,911 --> 00:19:57,504
and I avoid contact with other
people on general principle.
471
00:19:58,517 --> 00:20:00,596
I don't know what to tell you, Sheldon.
472
00:20:03,115 --> 00:20:04,916
Oh, Penny, thank you!
473
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:09,195
(in slow motion): You're welcome.
474
00:20:13,927 --> 00:20:16,638
It's you!
475
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:18,149
I touched you!
476
00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:21,392
Happy Valentine's Day.
477
00:20:30,914 --> 00:20:34,072
Oh, my goodness, look at this room!
478
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:36,112
(gasps) Champagne!
479
00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:37,825
Roses! Oh!
480
00:20:37,860 --> 00:20:40,574
And little chocolates!
481
00:20:40,609 --> 00:20:44,122
This is going to be the
best Valentine's Day ever.
482
00:20:45,042 --> 00:20:48,140
Yeah, I forgot about all this.
483
00:20:48,512 --> 00:20:50,801
But I never will.
484
00:20:50,802 --> 00:20:58,802
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