1 00:00:15,006 --> 00:00:16,894 Whatcha doing? 2 00:00:16,962 --> 00:00:19,726 I'm attempting to view my work as a fleeting peripheral image 3 00:00:19,794 --> 00:00:22,559 so as to engage the superior colliculus of my brain. 4 00:00:25,795 --> 00:00:27,160 Interesting. 5 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,030 I usually just have coffee. 6 00:00:29,867 --> 00:00:31,137 You've been up all night? 7 00:00:31,204 --> 00:00:32,141 Is it morning? 8 00:00:32,209 --> 00:00:33,146 Yes. 9 00:00:33,214 --> 00:00:34,714 Then I've been up all night. 10 00:00:37,151 --> 00:00:38,658 And you're stuck? 11 00:00:38,725 --> 00:00:40,393 Why else would a person try to engage 12 00:00:40,461 --> 00:00:42,534 their superior colliculus? 13 00:00:42,601 --> 00:00:46,576 Oh, sorry, sweetie, I can't help you till I've had my coffee. 14 00:00:53,824 --> 00:00:56,961 Penny, I told you if you don't put him in his crate at night 15 00:00:57,029 --> 00:00:58,998 he just runs around the apartment. 16 00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:03,639 What is he doing now? 17 00:01:03,707 --> 00:01:05,977 LEONARD: Hmm, he's either isolating the terms 18 00:01:06,045 --> 00:01:09,883 of his formula and examining them individually, 19 00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:11,352 or... 20 00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:13,654 looking for the alligator that swallowed his hand 21 00:01:13,722 --> 00:01:15,756 after Peter Pan cut it off. 22 00:01:15,824 --> 00:01:18,459 Captain Hook's hand was eaten by a crocodile, 23 00:01:18,527 --> 00:01:20,161 not an alligator. 24 00:01:20,229 --> 00:01:24,700 If you're going to mock me, at least get your facts straight. 25 00:01:24,767 --> 00:01:27,903 Aye, aye, Captain. 26 00:01:27,971 --> 00:01:30,005 I can't see it! 27 00:01:30,073 --> 00:01:31,507 It just won't coalesce. 28 00:01:31,574 --> 00:01:33,242 Maybe you need a fresh start. 29 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,378 You're right. 30 00:01:43,155 --> 00:01:45,291 (tires squealing and car horns honking) 31 00:01:46,627 --> 00:01:49,229 It's a great idea, Leonard. Thank you. 32 00:01:50,966 --> 00:01:54,503 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 33 00:01:54,571 --> 00:01:57,807 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 34 00:01:57,875 --> 00:01:59,476 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 35 00:01:59,544 --> 00:02:02,180 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 36 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,683 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 37 00:02:04,751 --> 00:02:07,385 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 38 00:02:07,453 --> 00:02:09,288 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 39 00:02:09,356 --> 00:02:10,990 ♪ Bang! ♪ 40 00:02:10,991 --> 00:02:13,060 Transcript by Addic7ed.com 41 00:02:15,917 --> 00:02:17,730 Electrons move through graphene... 42 00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:20,355 act as if they have no mass... 43 00:02:22,425 --> 00:02:23,959 How long has he been stuck? 44 00:02:24,027 --> 00:02:26,228 Intellectually about 30 hours. 45 00:02:26,296 --> 00:02:28,131 Emotionally about 29 years. 46 00:02:28,198 --> 00:02:31,735 Unit cell contains two carbon atoms... 47 00:02:31,802 --> 00:02:35,038 Interior angle of a hexagon is 120 degrees. 48 00:02:37,976 --> 00:02:40,411 Have you tried rebooting him? 49 00:02:40,479 --> 00:02:42,680 (chuckles) 50 00:02:42,748 --> 00:02:43,781 (laughing) 51 00:02:43,849 --> 00:02:47,117 No, I think it's a firmware problem. 52 00:02:47,185 --> 00:02:50,154 Hey, it's Disco Night at the Moonlight Roller Rink 53 00:02:50,221 --> 00:02:51,455 in Glendale tonight. 54 00:02:51,523 --> 00:02:53,758 Who's up for getting down? 55 00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:55,393 That's perfect. 56 00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:58,028 Bernadette's been hocking me to take her roller skating. 57 00:02:58,096 --> 00:02:59,463 I think Penny likes to skate. 58 00:02:59,530 --> 00:03:00,864 The four of us could double. 59 00:03:00,932 --> 00:03:02,399 What could be better? We're in. 60 00:03:02,467 --> 00:03:05,869 Great. It's not like I brought it up because I wanted to go. 61 00:03:08,673 --> 00:03:10,507 You can come with us. 62 00:03:10,575 --> 00:03:12,109 No, it's okay. I don't have to go. 63 00:03:12,177 --> 00:03:13,811 I'm happy just to guide you and your ladies 64 00:03:13,878 --> 00:03:15,512 to suitable entertainment choices. 65 00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:18,182 I'm a walking brown Yelp.com. 66 00:03:19,785 --> 00:03:23,120 Structure, constant structure. One atom... 67 00:03:23,188 --> 00:03:25,489 Boy, he's really gone, isn't he? 68 00:03:25,557 --> 00:03:28,893 Yeah, this morning he used a stick of butter as deodorant. 69 00:03:28,961 --> 00:03:32,296 I thought I smelled popcorn. 70 00:03:35,401 --> 00:03:36,701 Pattern is the same as fermions... 71 00:03:36,769 --> 00:03:37,802 Travels on the pathways... 72 00:03:37,870 --> 00:03:39,170 Hexagonal... It's always hexagonal... 73 00:03:39,238 --> 00:03:42,173 I haven't seen him this stuck since he tried to figure out 74 00:03:42,241 --> 00:03:43,508 the third Matrix movie. 75 00:03:43,576 --> 00:03:45,210 (gasps) 76 00:03:46,111 --> 00:03:48,479 Hey, those are my lima beans! 77 00:03:48,547 --> 00:03:51,984 Not lima beans, carbon atoms. 78 00:03:52,052 --> 00:03:53,719 But if I don't eat my lima beans, 79 00:03:53,787 --> 00:03:55,387 I can't have my cookie. 80 00:03:55,455 --> 00:03:56,922 Here, you want my peas? 81 00:03:56,990 --> 00:03:58,123 The peas- perfect. 82 00:03:58,191 --> 00:03:59,592 They can be electrons. 83 00:03:59,659 --> 00:04:00,860 Want my corn? 84 00:04:00,927 --> 00:04:03,095 Don't be ridiculous. 85 00:04:04,163 --> 00:04:05,864 What would I do with corn? 86 00:04:05,932 --> 00:04:09,768 So roller skating - should we all grab a bite to eat first? 87 00:04:09,836 --> 00:04:11,269 Good. P.F. Chang's? 88 00:04:11,337 --> 00:04:12,637 My mom has coupons. 89 00:04:12,705 --> 00:04:13,839 Great. 90 00:04:13,907 --> 00:04:15,907 Your mom's not coming, right? 91 00:04:15,975 --> 00:04:19,510 Not this time, I promise. 92 00:04:19,578 --> 00:04:21,613 Okay, just to be clear, roller skating was my idea, 93 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,382 and I'm very unhappy that you turned it into a double date, 94 00:04:24,450 --> 00:04:26,551 and I hope you both fall on your asses 95 00:04:26,619 --> 00:04:27,919 and break your coccyxes. 96 00:04:30,255 --> 00:04:33,591 The plural of coccyx is coccyges. 97 00:04:33,658 --> 00:04:36,360 Screw you. Give me back my lima beans. 98 00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:39,996 Oh, my God. 99 00:04:40,064 --> 00:04:41,631 Have you ever been so embarrassed? 100 00:04:41,699 --> 00:04:42,866 Not recently. 101 00:04:42,934 --> 00:04:44,501 I don't know which was lamer: 102 00:04:44,569 --> 00:04:46,770 their roller-skating or their disco dancing. 103 00:04:46,838 --> 00:04:48,605 For me, the worst part 104 00:04:48,673 --> 00:04:51,975 was when people saw us leave with them. 105 00:04:52,043 --> 00:04:56,080 You had some nice moves out there, Howard. 106 00:04:56,147 --> 00:04:57,248 Thanks. You, too. Yeah. 107 00:04:57,315 --> 00:04:59,450 Did you notice all the people looking at us? 108 00:05:00,719 --> 00:05:03,621 Not really. I was in my boogie zone. 109 00:05:05,891 --> 00:05:07,959 When Howard tried to do the splits... 110 00:05:08,026 --> 00:05:09,093 Shh. 111 00:05:09,161 --> 00:05:10,561 Sorry. I'm moving a little slow. 112 00:05:10,629 --> 00:05:12,429 I think I bruised my coccyx. 113 00:05:12,497 --> 00:05:13,830 Oh, poor baby. 114 00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:15,766 Don't tell Koothrappali. 115 00:05:15,833 --> 00:05:17,267 After you. 116 00:05:17,334 --> 00:05:18,634 Oh, what a gentleman. 117 00:05:18,702 --> 00:05:20,102 Hey, Sheldon. 118 00:05:20,170 --> 00:05:22,137 (screams) LEONARD: Oh, my God! 119 00:05:22,205 --> 00:05:23,372 Are you... 120 00:05:24,374 --> 00:05:25,741 SHELDON: Good Lord! 121 00:05:25,809 --> 00:05:26,808 You're ruining everything! 122 00:05:26,876 --> 00:05:28,009 Oh, damn. 123 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:29,143 Are you okay? 124 00:05:29,211 --> 00:05:30,478 Do I look okay? 125 00:05:30,546 --> 00:05:32,513 Don't bark at me. I fell, too. 126 00:05:32,581 --> 00:05:34,381 Oh, you've been falling all night. You're used to it. 127 00:05:36,385 --> 00:05:38,185 Sheldon, what the hell are you doing? 128 00:05:38,253 --> 00:05:40,054 The same thing I've been doing for three days. 129 00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:41,556 Trying to figure out why electrons 130 00:05:41,623 --> 00:05:43,324 behave as if they have no mass 131 00:05:43,392 --> 00:05:45,092 when traveling through a graphene sheet. 132 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,294 With marbles? 133 00:05:46,361 --> 00:05:47,629 Well, I needed something bigger 134 00:05:47,696 --> 00:05:49,764 than peas, now, didn't I? 135 00:05:49,832 --> 00:05:53,368 Sheldon, when was the last time you got any sleep? 136 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:54,603 I don't know- two, three days. 137 00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:55,837 Not important. 138 00:05:55,905 --> 00:05:58,207 I don't need sleep. I need answers. 139 00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,842 I need to determine where 140 00:05:59,909 --> 00:06:02,745 in this swamp of unbalanced formulas 141 00:06:02,812 --> 00:06:06,348 squatteth the toad of truth. 142 00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:07,850 Toad of truth? 143 00:06:07,917 --> 00:06:09,685 Is that a physics thing? 144 00:06:09,753 --> 00:06:12,388 No, that's a crazy thing. 145 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,223 Okay, Sheldon. 146 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,759 What happens to our neuroreceptors 147 00:06:16,826 --> 00:06:19,361 when we don't get enough REM sleep? 148 00:06:20,897 --> 00:06:24,366 They lose their sensitivity to serotonin and norepinephrine. 149 00:06:24,434 --> 00:06:25,568 Which leads to...? 150 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,537 Impaired cognitive function. 151 00:06:28,604 --> 00:06:32,840 Right, so march in there, brush your teeth and go to bed. 152 00:06:32,908 --> 00:06:36,444 But I don't want to go to bed. 153 00:06:37,613 --> 00:06:39,814 I'm going to count to three. One... 154 00:06:39,881 --> 00:06:41,582 Oh, all right. 155 00:06:45,119 --> 00:06:47,988 That was amazing how you handled him. 156 00:06:48,055 --> 00:06:50,156 I know how to deal with stubborn children. 157 00:06:50,224 --> 00:06:53,726 My mother used to run an illegal day care center in our basement. 158 00:06:59,766 --> 00:07:02,168 (evil laughter) 159 00:07:06,606 --> 00:07:10,042 Leonard, you're... you're giggling in your sleep. 160 00:07:10,109 --> 00:07:11,343 It's not me. 161 00:07:11,410 --> 00:07:13,045 It's my new ringtone. 162 00:07:13,113 --> 00:07:15,681 The Joker from Batman. 163 00:07:15,749 --> 00:07:18,050 Well, it creeps me out. 164 00:07:18,118 --> 00:07:21,488 Me, too, but I paid three bucks for it. 165 00:07:21,555 --> 00:07:23,023 Just answer the phone. 166 00:07:23,090 --> 00:07:25,059 (sighs) 167 00:07:27,796 --> 00:07:29,564 Hello. 168 00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:32,934 Yeah, I'm Leonard Hofstadter. 169 00:07:34,436 --> 00:07:36,003 Yeah, yeah, he's my roommate. 170 00:07:37,339 --> 00:07:39,573 Oh, God, is he okay? 171 00:07:41,343 --> 00:07:43,044 Yeah, all-all right. I'll be right there. 172 00:07:43,112 --> 00:07:44,712 What happened? 173 00:07:44,780 --> 00:07:48,249 Sheldon's escaped and is terrorizing the village. 174 00:07:50,119 --> 00:07:51,952 Okay. Have fun. 175 00:07:55,457 --> 00:07:57,224 Hi. I'm Dr. Hofstadter. 176 00:07:57,292 --> 00:07:59,258 Where is he? Ball pit. 177 00:08:02,162 --> 00:08:04,363 Thanks for not calling the cops. 178 00:08:04,431 --> 00:08:05,964 Oh, hey, it's no big deal. 179 00:08:06,032 --> 00:08:08,200 My sister's got a kid who's special. 180 00:08:09,269 --> 00:08:12,771 Yeah, well, he's extra special. 181 00:08:14,474 --> 00:08:15,607 Hey, Shelly. 182 00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:18,144 What you doing? 183 00:08:18,211 --> 00:08:19,645 Size ratio was all wrong. 184 00:08:19,713 --> 00:08:20,980 Couldn't visualize it. 185 00:08:21,048 --> 00:08:23,115 Needed bigger carbon atoms. 186 00:08:24,151 --> 00:08:26,152 Sure, sure. 187 00:08:27,355 --> 00:08:29,422 How did you get into this place? 188 00:08:29,490 --> 00:08:32,025 Back door has a five-pin tumbler system, 189 00:08:32,093 --> 00:08:33,960 single-circuit alarm. Child's play. 190 00:08:35,429 --> 00:08:38,265 You can start sorting protons and neutrons 191 00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:40,334 while I build carbon atoms. 192 00:08:40,402 --> 00:08:41,702 No, I don't think so. 193 00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:43,304 We need to go home now. 194 00:08:43,372 --> 00:08:45,540 But I'm still working. 195 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,242 If you don't come out of there, 196 00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:49,177 I'm going to have to drag you out. 197 00:08:50,347 --> 00:08:53,014 You can try, but you'll never catch me. 198 00:08:56,586 --> 00:08:59,187 For God's sakes. 199 00:09:04,226 --> 00:09:05,859 Sheldon, come here! 200 00:09:05,927 --> 00:09:08,228 Bazinga. 201 00:09:10,531 --> 00:09:15,036 Bazinga. 202 00:09:16,071 --> 00:09:20,042 Bazinga. 203 00:09:27,052 --> 00:09:28,352 OF GAIN DET(whispering): AND FABRLeonard and Penny. 204 00:09:28,420 --> 00:09:29,653 Leonard and Penny. (screams) 205 00:09:29,721 --> 00:09:31,555 What? What, what, what? 206 00:09:36,261 --> 00:09:38,195 Leonard and Penny. 207 00:09:38,263 --> 00:09:40,197 What? 208 00:09:40,265 --> 00:09:41,999 I have good news. LEONARD: And you had 209 00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:43,568 to barge in here and wake us up 210 00:09:43,636 --> 00:09:44,703 in the middle of the night? 211 00:09:44,770 --> 00:09:46,371 Your cell phone was off. 212 00:09:46,439 --> 00:09:48,841 Because we didn't want to be disturbed. 213 00:09:48,908 --> 00:09:51,844 Well, that didn't work out, did it? 214 00:09:51,912 --> 00:09:54,881 Sheldon, what do you want? 215 00:09:54,949 --> 00:09:57,651 I came to tell you I've got the answer. 216 00:09:57,718 --> 00:09:59,419 Really? 217 00:09:59,487 --> 00:10:01,854 You figured out the graphene problem? 218 00:10:01,922 --> 00:10:03,990 No, no, I'm still hopelessly stuck on that, 219 00:10:04,057 --> 00:10:07,192 but I figured out how to figure it out. 220 00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:08,861 Okay, you know what, Leonard, I know I said 221 00:10:08,928 --> 00:10:10,429 I could handle your roommate, but I was wrong. 222 00:10:10,497 --> 00:10:11,763 We're going to have to break up. 223 00:10:12,799 --> 00:10:14,900 What are you talking about? 224 00:10:14,967 --> 00:10:16,868 (clears throat) Oh. (sighs) 225 00:10:18,904 --> 00:10:20,071 Einstein. 226 00:10:20,139 --> 00:10:23,107 Yeah, I'm going to need a little more. 227 00:10:23,175 --> 00:10:25,544 Albert Einstein. 228 00:10:27,914 --> 00:10:30,182 Keep going. 229 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,552 When Albert Einstein came up with special relativity, 230 00:10:32,619 --> 00:10:34,754 he was working at the patent office. 231 00:10:34,822 --> 00:10:37,357 So, you're going to go work at the patent office? 232 00:10:37,425 --> 00:10:38,925 Don't be absurd. 233 00:10:38,993 --> 00:10:40,393 That's in Washington. 234 00:10:40,461 --> 00:10:42,762 You know I could never live in a city whose streets 235 00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:44,730 are laid out in a wheel-and-spoke pattern. 236 00:10:44,798 --> 00:10:46,632 No. I'm going to find 237 00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,300 a similarly menial job 238 00:10:48,368 --> 00:10:51,402 where my basal ganglia are occupied with a routine task, 239 00:10:51,470 --> 00:10:53,003 freeing my prefrontal cortex 240 00:10:53,071 --> 00:10:55,406 to work quietly in the background on my problem. 241 00:10:56,775 --> 00:10:57,908 Sounds like a great plan. 242 00:10:57,976 --> 00:10:59,042 Of course it is. 243 00:10:59,110 --> 00:11:00,377 Even talking to you is 244 00:11:00,445 --> 00:11:01,979 sufficiently menial that I can feel 245 00:11:02,047 --> 00:11:03,614 the proverbial juices starting to flow. 246 00:11:03,682 --> 00:11:06,384 Okay, well, thanks for sharing with us. 247 00:11:06,452 --> 00:11:08,220 Good night. You're welcome. 248 00:11:08,287 --> 00:11:09,922 And good night to you, too. 249 00:11:09,990 --> 00:11:11,390 (sighs) 250 00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:14,227 Oh, by the way, I was watching you sleep for a moment, 251 00:11:14,294 --> 00:11:15,628 and I noticed that your snoring 252 00:11:15,696 --> 00:11:17,764 seems to be worse when you're on your back. 253 00:11:17,832 --> 00:11:19,733 Leonard doesn't snore. 254 00:11:19,801 --> 00:11:22,435 No, I wasn't talking to Leonard. 255 00:11:24,405 --> 00:11:26,873 Told you. 256 00:11:28,242 --> 00:11:31,911 So, Mr. Cooper, you're looking for a job. 257 00:11:31,979 --> 00:11:34,213 A menial job. 258 00:11:34,281 --> 00:11:36,115 Like yours. 259 00:11:38,184 --> 00:11:40,452 Why, thank you for noticing. 260 00:11:41,654 --> 00:11:44,456 I'm "Menial Employee of the Month." 261 00:11:45,658 --> 00:11:47,993 Do you have a particular field in mind? 262 00:11:48,061 --> 00:11:49,294 I do. 263 00:11:49,362 --> 00:11:51,096 For thousands of years, 264 00:11:51,164 --> 00:11:52,965 the lowest classes of the human race 265 00:11:53,032 --> 00:11:55,534 have spent their lives laboring to erect monuments 266 00:11:55,602 --> 00:11:57,436 under the lash of their betters, 267 00:11:57,504 --> 00:11:58,637 until finally, 268 00:11:58,705 --> 00:12:00,038 they dropped down 269 00:12:00,106 --> 00:12:03,676 and became one with the dust through which they trudged. 270 00:12:03,744 --> 00:12:06,145 Do you have anything like that? 271 00:12:07,648 --> 00:12:09,449 No. 272 00:12:09,517 --> 00:12:11,585 Shouldn't you check your database? 273 00:12:13,888 --> 00:12:15,522 No. 274 00:12:18,293 --> 00:12:20,961 You didn't really type? 275 00:12:21,029 --> 00:12:24,297 I didn't really have to. 276 00:12:24,365 --> 00:12:26,332 So, how about construction? 277 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,268 Oh, that would be good! 278 00:12:28,335 --> 00:12:31,671 Sawing, hammering, eating out of a lunch pail 279 00:12:31,738 --> 00:12:33,939 as my working-class fellows and I 280 00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:36,041 sit perched precariously on a girder 281 00:12:36,109 --> 00:12:38,143 high above the metropolis. 282 00:12:38,211 --> 00:12:41,580 No, no. This is putting up sheetrock 283 00:12:41,648 --> 00:12:44,650 at a housing project in Rosemead. 284 00:12:44,718 --> 00:12:46,152 I could do that. 285 00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:47,587 Good. One question. 286 00:12:47,655 --> 00:12:50,156 Yes? What's sheetrock? 287 00:12:50,224 --> 00:12:52,059 Moving on. 288 00:12:53,228 --> 00:12:54,328 How about 289 00:12:54,396 --> 00:12:56,164 doing deliveries for a florist? 290 00:12:56,232 --> 00:12:57,832 That seems acceptable. 291 00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:00,735 Do you have your own car? I don't drive. 292 00:13:00,803 --> 00:13:02,937 Of course you don't. 293 00:13:04,173 --> 00:13:07,142 Mr. Cooper, let me just ask you a question. 294 00:13:07,210 --> 00:13:08,843 What was your last job? 295 00:13:08,911 --> 00:13:11,379 Senior theoretical particle physicist at CalTech, 296 00:13:11,447 --> 00:13:15,082 focusing on M theory, or, in layman's terms, string theory. 297 00:13:15,150 --> 00:13:17,152 I see. 298 00:13:17,219 --> 00:13:19,153 Just give me a second. 299 00:13:23,025 --> 00:13:25,359 Security! 300 00:13:30,765 --> 00:13:34,100 Okay, I'll get those drinks started for you. 301 00:13:34,168 --> 00:13:36,169 Behind you. 302 00:13:37,204 --> 00:13:39,405 Sheldon, what the hell are you doing? 303 00:13:39,473 --> 00:13:41,541 I'm trying to get these tables cleared. 304 00:13:41,609 --> 00:13:42,408 We're slammed. 305 00:13:43,444 --> 00:13:44,978 No, wait, wait, no, wait. 306 00:13:45,045 --> 00:13:46,813 Wh-What are you doing here? 307 00:13:46,881 --> 00:13:48,648 A reasonable question. 308 00:13:48,716 --> 00:13:51,117 I asked myself, what is the most mind-numbing, 309 00:13:51,185 --> 00:13:53,019 pedestrian job conceivable, 310 00:13:53,087 --> 00:13:55,055 and three answers came to mind: 311 00:13:55,123 --> 00:13:57,824 uh, toll booth attendant, Apple Store genius... 312 00:13:59,628 --> 00:14:01,562 ...and what Penny does. 313 00:14:01,630 --> 00:14:02,730 Now... 314 00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:04,766 since I don't like 315 00:14:04,834 --> 00:14:06,234 touching other people's coins, 316 00:14:06,302 --> 00:14:07,936 and I refuse to contribute 317 00:14:08,003 --> 00:14:10,605 to the devaluation of the word "genius," 318 00:14:10,673 --> 00:14:12,508 here I am. 319 00:14:12,575 --> 00:14:15,744 You just, you just walked in and they hired you, 320 00:14:15,812 --> 00:14:16,779 just like that? 321 00:14:16,846 --> 00:14:18,380 Oh, heavens, no. 322 00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:20,882 Since I don't need to be paid, I didn't need to be hired. 323 00:14:20,950 --> 00:14:22,651 I simply came in, picked up a tray, 324 00:14:22,719 --> 00:14:25,486 and started "working for the man." 325 00:14:25,554 --> 00:14:25,620 Let me get that plate out of your way. 326 00:14:27,689 --> 00:14:28,622 Sheldon, 327 00:14:28,690 --> 00:14:29,857 this is ridiculous. 328 00:14:29,924 --> 00:14:30,924 Is it? 329 00:14:30,992 --> 00:14:32,559 Just a moment ago, I had a minor epiphany 330 00:14:32,627 --> 00:14:34,794 regarding the polymer degradation phenomenon 331 00:14:34,862 --> 00:14:37,430 while scraping congealed nachos off a plate. 332 00:14:37,498 --> 00:14:39,966 Bernadette, table 10 wants their check. 333 00:14:40,034 --> 00:14:40,967 Thanks, Sheldon. 334 00:14:41,035 --> 00:14:41,968 Sheldon, 335 00:14:42,036 --> 00:14:43,169 wait, this isn't even what I do. 336 00:14:43,237 --> 00:14:45,105 I'm a waitress, not a busboy. 337 00:14:45,173 --> 00:14:47,708 You're right. That is more menial. 338 00:14:47,776 --> 00:14:51,512 Hello, I'm Sheldon. I'll be your server today. 339 00:14:52,614 --> 00:14:54,182 I don't recommend the salmon. 340 00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:56,552 I saw it in the kitchen. 341 00:14:59,089 --> 00:15:02,758 All right, one bacon cheeseburger, 342 00:15:02,826 --> 00:15:06,661 breaking two Jewish dietary restrictions simultaneously- 343 00:15:06,729 --> 00:15:08,697 kudos. 344 00:15:08,764 --> 00:15:10,798 Beer-battered fish and chips. 345 00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,800 Now, here's your tartar sauce. 346 00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,368 I also brought you salsa. 347 00:15:14,436 --> 00:15:16,136 It's a little unconventional, but I think you'll like it. 348 00:15:16,204 --> 00:15:17,838 It's zingy. 349 00:15:18,906 --> 00:15:21,741 And for you, Factory Burrito Grande- 350 00:15:21,809 --> 00:15:23,576 no cheese, no sour cream, 351 00:15:23,644 --> 00:15:26,680 no ugly consequences from your lactose intolerance. 352 00:15:27,615 --> 00:15:29,616 Bon appétit. 353 00:15:29,684 --> 00:15:31,719 Hang on. 354 00:15:31,787 --> 00:15:32,754 Black beans, not pinto beans? 355 00:15:32,821 --> 00:15:33,755 Yes. 356 00:15:33,822 --> 00:15:35,056 Double guacamole? Of course. 357 00:15:35,124 --> 00:15:36,224 No cilantro? Nope. 358 00:15:36,292 --> 00:15:37,826 Lettuce shredded, not chopped? Yep. 359 00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,060 You understand why I'm doing this to you? 360 00:15:39,128 --> 00:15:40,929 I do. That'll be all. 361 00:15:42,931 --> 00:15:45,066 That was fun. 362 00:15:45,133 --> 00:15:47,167 (laughter) 363 00:15:47,235 --> 00:15:49,170 How long can he keep this up? 364 00:15:49,237 --> 00:15:50,938 I heard about this professor at MIT 365 00:15:51,006 --> 00:15:52,339 who melted down, bought a van, 366 00:15:52,407 --> 00:15:55,008 and spent the rest of his life as a mobile dog groomer. 367 00:15:55,076 --> 00:15:56,843 He never went back to the university? 368 00:15:56,911 --> 00:16:00,046 Only to shampoo Professor Shamburg's shih tzu. 369 00:16:01,081 --> 00:16:04,250 Sheesh. 370 00:16:04,318 --> 00:16:04,384 I bet if we all chipped in, we could buy Sheldon a van. 371 00:16:08,589 --> 00:16:10,190 But he's afraid of dogs. 372 00:16:10,258 --> 00:16:12,893 Yeah, that's the only thing wrong with that plan. 373 00:16:14,329 --> 00:16:17,898 Hey, guys, sorry you had to wait, but we are swamped. 374 00:16:17,966 --> 00:16:19,267 What's this? 375 00:16:19,335 --> 00:16:21,035 Sheldon took our order. 376 00:16:21,103 --> 00:16:23,537 Sheldon doesn't work here. 377 00:16:23,605 --> 00:16:25,806 Well, honey, not to complain, 378 00:16:25,874 --> 00:16:28,710 but we were starting to think you didn't either. 379 00:16:28,777 --> 00:16:30,078 (crashing) 380 00:16:31,114 --> 00:16:33,749 Is that really necessary? 381 00:16:34,985 --> 00:16:38,120 Good Lord. 382 00:16:38,188 --> 00:16:40,422 The interference pattern in the fracture. 383 00:16:40,489 --> 00:16:41,890 The motion of the wave 384 00:16:41,957 --> 00:16:43,624 through the molecular structure. 385 00:16:43,692 --> 00:16:45,827 I've been looking at it all wrong. 386 00:16:45,894 --> 00:16:48,295 I can't consider the electrons as particles. 387 00:16:48,363 --> 00:16:50,664 They move through the graphene as a wave. 388 00:16:51,733 --> 00:16:54,567 It's a wave! 389 00:16:56,603 --> 00:16:59,305 The moment to applaud would be now. 390 00:17:00,306 --> 00:17:03,008 Troglodytes. 391 00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:05,110 Sheldon... where are you going? 392 00:17:05,178 --> 00:17:07,079 Aren't you going to clean this up? 393 00:17:07,146 --> 00:17:09,148 I'm sorry. I don't work here. 394 00:17:11,751 --> 00:17:15,454 ♪ ♪ 395 00:17:21,694 --> 00:17:24,696 Happy now? I'm on a cloud. 396 00:17:24,763 --> 00:17:26,965 Swing me. 397 00:17:27,032 --> 00:17:44,349 ♪ ♪ 398 00:17:49,261 --> 00:17:52,130 Sheldon, come here. 399 00:17:52,198 --> 00:17:54,198 Bazinga. 400 00:18:01,507 --> 00:18:04,108 Bazinga. 401 00:18:05,977 --> 00:18:07,711 Bazinga. 402 00:18:08,914 --> 00:18:10,715 Bazinga. 403 00:18:13,351 --> 00:18:15,352 Bazinga! 404 00:18:15,419 --> 00:18:17,354 Transcript by Addic7ed.com