1
00:00:00,380 --> 00:00:02,610
Okay, Raj.
2
00:00:02,630 --> 00:00:05,640
Hand me the #6 Torx screwdriver.
3
00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:08,730
Stop.
4
00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:10,570
We can't do this. It's not right.
5
00:00:10,580 --> 00:00:12,550
Sheldon, you have two choices.
6
00:00:12,590 --> 00:00:14,440
ther you let him put a
bigger hard drive in the TiVo,
7
00:00:14,450 --> 00:00:16,510
or you delete stuff
before we go out of town.
8
00:00:16,540 --> 00:00:20,080
But once you open the box,
you've voided the warranty.
9
00:00:20,090 --> 00:00:24,070
The warranty is a sacred covenant we've
entered into with the manufacturer.
10
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:27,040
He offers to stand by his
equipment, and we in return
11
00:00:27,050 --> 00:00:29,660
agree not to violate the
integrity of the internal hardware.
12
00:00:29,690 --> 00:00:34,820
This little orange sticker is all
that stands between us and anarchy.
13
00:00:36,130 --> 00:00:38,000
Okay, then we won't
touch the hard drive.
14
00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,170
We'll just erase the
first season of Battlestar.
15
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,930
There. We're outlaws.
16
00:00:46,450 --> 00:00:48,010
Here you go, Leonard. Is
this going to be big enough?
17
00:00:48,020 --> 00:00:49,840
It's perfect.
18
00:00:52,430 --> 00:00:56,190
For taking daffodils to your unicorn.
19
00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:59,070
It's just for my
notebooks. Thanks, Penny.
20
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,840
I love San Francisco. I
wish I was going with you.
21
00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:05,390
I understand your envy.
Thiss a can't-miss symposium.
22
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:09,290
There are going to be discussions on
bioorganic cellular computer devices,
23
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,910
the advancements in
multi-threaded task completion,
24
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:15,470
plus a roundtable on the
nonequilibrium Green's function approach
25
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,280
to the photoionization process in atoms.
26
00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:22,550
When I go, I usually just get
hammered and ride the cable cars.
27
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:24,840
This conference is kind of a big thing.
28
00:01:24,870 --> 00:01:27,640
The keynote address is being
delivered by George Smoot.
29
00:01:27,660 --> 00:01:29,940
Oh, my God, the George Smoot?
30
00:01:29,950 --> 00:01:32,550
- You've heard of him?
- Of course I haven't.
31
00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:38,790
George Smoot is a Nobel Prize-winning
physicist, one of the great minds of our time.
32
00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:43,380
His work in black body form and anisotropy
of the cosmic microwave background radiation
33
00:01:43,390 --> 00:01:46,870
cemented our understanding
of the origin of the universe.
34
00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:50,530
It's kind of a funny
name, though-- "Smoot."
35
00:01:53,710 --> 00:01:56,510
It's like talking to a chimp.
36
00:01:57,070 --> 00:02:00,070
Okay, now that I've been completely
insulted, have a good flight.
37
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:00,950
Yeah, I wish.
38
00:02:00,980 --> 00:02:03,370
We're not flying.
We're taking the train.
39
00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:04,710
Oh, cool.
40
00:02:04,730 --> 00:02:10,010
Yeah, cool. Seven times as long as
flying, and costs almost twice as much.
41
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,200
Well, then why are you doing it?
42
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,800
Well, we had a vote. Three
of us voted for airplane.
43
00:02:14,810 --> 00:02:18,520
Sheldon voted for train.
So we're taking the trn.
44
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:20,810
Don't say it like that, Leonard.
45
00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:23,890
Say it like: We're taking the train!
46
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:33,040
-=http://sfile.ydy.com=-
proudly presents
47
00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:41,570
-=http://sfile.ydy.com=-
sync:ßÇÈâÈâ
48
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:46,320
The Big Bang
Theory Season02 Episode17
49
00:02:50,110 --> 00:02:52,840
Hey, we're all going over to the Apple store
to make fun of the guys at the Genius Bar.
50
00:02:52,870 --> 00:02:54,590
You want to come?
51
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:58,240
Oh, I always enjoy that,
but I'm a little busy.
52
00:02:58,270 --> 00:02:58,960
What are you doing?
53
00:02:58,990 --> 00:03:01,860
I'm simplifying the task
of packing for our trip.
54
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:05,820
See, by attaching RFID tags to my
clothing, it will able my laptop
55
00:03:05,830 --> 00:03:08,480
to read and identify
the items with this wand.
56
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:12,150
I will then cross-reference them against
destination, anticipated activity spectrum,
57
00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:14,990
weather conditions,
duration of trip, et cetera.
58
00:03:18,540 --> 00:03:21,270
Well, that does sound much simpler.
59
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,690
How long is this going to take?
60
00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:26,490
Assuming I can keep up this
pace, three hours, 11 minutes,
61
00:03:26,530 --> 00:03:30,390
and plus however long tak to conclude
this fairly pointless conversation.
62
00:03:32,940 --> 00:03:36,360
Teasing the guys at the Apple
store seems a little redundant now.
63
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:39,410
- I don't follow.
- I wouldn't expect you to. I'll see you later.
64
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:48,310
Socks:one pair, cotton, argyle, blue.
65
00:03:52,450 --> 00:03:57,400
Socks: one pair, cotton, argyle, blue.
66
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,530
What on earth are you doing?
67
00:04:04,540 --> 00:04:07,510
Whatever it is, I'm guessing
we're doing it wrong.
68
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:11,220
Gentlemen, this is the Coast Starlight,
69
00:04:11,260 --> 00:04:16,120
one of the great American trains operating
on one of the classic American routes.
70
00:04:16,150 --> 00:04:21,740
On this side, you'll see panoramic ocean vistas
inaccessible to any other form of transportation,
71
00:04:21,780 --> 00:04:26,230
while on your side, you'll be
treated to 350 miles of CostCos,
72
00:04:26,270 --> 00:04:29,770
Jiffy Lubes, and cinderblock
homes with above-ground pools.
73
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,330
Come on, Raj.
74
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,250
What's wrong with Jiffy Lubes?
75
00:04:35,970 --> 00:04:37,890
No.
76
00:04:38,590 --> 00:04:40,880
- Why not?
- That's over the wheelbase.
77
00:04:40,890 --> 00:04:44,150
Are you completely unfamiliar
with the suspension characteristics
78
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,970
of a pre-1980 Pullman-built
Superliner Deluxe passenger coach?
79
00:04:48,350 --> 00:04:50,500
Sheldon, we've been on
this train 90 seconds,
80
00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:53,060
and you've already
said a thousand words.
81
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:55,980
Just tell us where to sit and shut up.
82
00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,490
Here.
83
00:04:59,510 --> 00:05:05,580
I'm hoping once you reap the endorphic rewards of the
steady clickety-clack of steel wheels on polished rails,
84
00:05:05,590 --> 00:05:07,820
your sour disposition will abate.
85
00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:08,950
Yeah, maybe.
86
00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:12,200
Meanwhil back in the 21st century,
people are raising their tray tables
87
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:16,860
and putting their seat-backs in an upright
position 'cause it's time to land in San Francisco.
88
00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:19,110
It's not so bad, really.
89
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,890
At least these trains
have modern plumbing.
90
00:05:20,930 --> 00:05:24,590
In India, you squat over a hole in the
train and expose your naked buttocks
91
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,230
to the chilly air of Rajasthan.
92
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:32,390
He is referring, of course, to third class on
Indian Railways' magnificent Ranakpur Express
93
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:36,930
and its 1,200-kilometer journey from
Maharashtra to the Bikaner Junction.
94
00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:40,280
Oh, look, now he's boring
on an international scale.
95
00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:43,880
Holy crap! Look!
96
00:05:45,790 --> 00:05:47,290
Is that who I think it is?
97
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,590
It can't be. What would Summer
Glau be doing riding the train?
98
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:54,620
Maybe John Connor's aboard and she's
protecting him from an evil Terminator.
99
00:05:55,350 --> 00:05:58,320
Unlikely. That's a
television show, Leonard.
100
00:05:58,630 --> 00:06:00,280
Thank you.
101
00:06:00,290 --> 00:06:02,650
Of course, if SkyNet actually
did exist in the future,
102
00:06:02,690 --> 00:06:07,120
a perfect way to infiltrate and destroy
mankind would be to send Terminators back posing
103
00:06:07,130 --> 00:06:10,640
as actors who have played Terminators
in popular films and television series,
104
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,270
lulling us into a false
sense of security, i.e.,
105
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,680
"That's Summer Glau "from
The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
106
00:06:15,690 --> 00:06:19,780
No, Summer, don't kill
me!" I'm pro-robot! Ahh!"
107
00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:24,350
At least he's off the train crap.
108
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,800
Whee!
109
00:06:29,010 --> 00:06:30,810
Sheldon, I owe you an apology.
110
00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:32,690
Taking the train was
a stroke of brilliance!
111
00:06:32,710 --> 00:06:34,880
I've actually got a
shot at a Terminator.
112
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,890
Oh, please.When it comes to Terminators,
113
00:06:36,900 --> 00:06:40,300
you've got a better shot of
scoring with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
114
00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:43,280
You're overlooking something.
115
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:47,740
I have 11 hours with
her in a confined space.
116
00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:52,550
Unless she's willing to jump off a moving
train, tuck and roll down the side of a hill,
117
00:06:52,590 --> 00:06:58,930
she will eventually succumb to the
acquired taste that is ward Wolowitz.
118
00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:03,950
My money's on tuck and roll.
119
00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:05,940
I'm confused.
120
00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:10,130
I thought you were involved in some sort of
socially intimate pairing with Leslie Winkle.
121
00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:14,590
- Sheldon, let me explain to you how this works.
- All right.
122
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,010
- That's Summer Glau.
- Yes.
123
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,870
That's it.
124
00:07:20,550 --> 00:07:23,170
Hang on a sec. Why do you
get first crack at her?
125
00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:26,890
Um, well, let's see, couple
reasons. One, I saw her first.
126
00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:28,860
No, you didn't. I did.
127
00:07:28,870 --> 00:07:31,780
Fair enough. But... then,
let me move on to #2.
128
00:07:31,790 --> 00:07:35,420
Unlike you, I can actually
talk to women when I'm sober.
129
00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:39,900
You fail to take into account that
even mute, I am foreign and exotic,
130
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,510
while you, on the other
hand, are frail and pasty.
131
00:07:44,870 --> 00:07:50,070
Well, you know the old saying,
Pasty and frail never fail.
132
00:07:52,810 --> 00:07:54,850
Excuse me, but what about me?
133
00:07:54,890 --> 00:07:56,490
Why don't I get a shot?
134
00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:59,610
Fine, go ahead. Take a shot.
135
00:08:01,260 --> 00:08:04,080
You know, I've already got a gorgeous
blonde back home at I can't score with.
136
00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:06,510
I think I'll let you two take this one.
137
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,680
Sheldon, is there a place
on this train to get alcohol?
138
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:10,220
Interesting that you ask.
139
00:08:10,270 --> 00:08:13,910
The Coast Starlight recently added
the refurbished Pacific Parlour Car.
140
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:17,380
Built in 1956 and originally
known as the Santa Fe Lounge Car,
141
00:08:17,390 --> 00:08:19,510
- the lower level is a theater and
the upper level - Yeah-yeah, which way?
142
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:23,050
is a bar that offers wine tastings
if you're going as far as Portland.
143
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,180
So aren't you going to go talk to her?
144
00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:28,890
I will, I'm just working
on my opening line.
145
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,050
She's probably heard every
possible line, Howard.
146
00:08:31,070 --> 00:08:32,510
Why don't you just try "hello"?
147
00:08:32,550 --> 00:08:35,160
No, no, no, that
always creeps girls out.
148
00:08:35,770 --> 00:08:40,610
I need to come up with something that's
funny, smart and delicately suggests
149
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:44,780
that my sexual endowment is
disproportionate to my physical stature.
150
00:08:45,430 --> 00:08:48,000
You're going to need more than 11 hours.
151
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,160
Oh, no.
152
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,300
What's the matter?
153
00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:53,000
I forgot my flash drive.
154
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,650
- So?
- So we have to go back.
155
00:08:55,660 --> 00:09:01,700
Okay, Sheldon, I'm going to say "why" and your
answer cannot be because I forgot my flash drive.
156
00:09:02,310 --> 00:09:03,450
You don't understand.
157
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:08,200
My flash drive has my paper on astrophysical
probes of M-theory effects in the early universe
158
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,890
that I was going to give to
George Smoot at the conference.
159
00:09:10,930 --> 00:09:14,150
Why do you have to give
your paper to George Smoot?
160
00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:17,150
It's brilliant. He needs to read it.
161
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,000
So you'll send him an
e-mail when we get back.
162
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,400
Then I won't get to see his
face light up as he reads it.
163
00:09:23,410 --> 00:09:24,400
Right. Of course.
164
00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:26,550
Oh, this is an unmitigated disaster.
165
00:09:26,580 --> 00:09:29,240
Well, there's nothing you
can do about it, so relax.
166
00:09:29,270 --> 00:09:34,480
Sit back, enjoy the clickety-clack of
the steel wheels on the polished rails.
167
00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:43,560
You forgot your flash drive
168
00:09:43,570 --> 00:09:45,790
You forgot your flash drive
169
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:49,040
Only ten hours, 55 minutes to go.
170
00:09:58,110 --> 00:10:00,710
It's hot in here. Must be Summer.
171
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:15,970
So... where you gals headed?
172
00:10:16,670 --> 00:10:18,850
Okay, I've found the perfect solution.
173
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,260
We get off the train at
the next stop in Oxnard.
174
00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:24,610
We then take the 1:13
train back to Union Station.
175
00:10:24,660 --> 00:10:29,420
We take a cab back to the apartment, get my
flash drive, and then race to San Luis Obispo,
176
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,920
where, assuming the lights are with us
and minimal traffic, we'll meet the train.
177
00:10:32,930 --> 00:10:34,210
I've got a better idea.
178
00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:36,600
Are you going to be sarcastic?
179
00:10:36,610 --> 00:10:39,570
Boy, you take all the
fun out of it for me.
180
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,790
Look, Penny's home. Why don't we just
call her, have her go in the apartment,
181
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,940
get your flash drive
and e-mail you the paper?
182
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:48,210
- But the flash drive is in a locked drawer in my desk.
- So?
183
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:50,400
- The key is hidden in my room.
- So?
184
00:10:50,410 --> 00:10:52,330
- Penny would have to go into my room.
- So?
185
00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:55,230
People don't go in my room!
186
00:10:55,510 --> 00:11:00,780
I see. Well, it seems once again, you're
caught between a rock and a crazy place.
187
00:11:02,710 --> 00:11:05,640
Oh, I te when that happens.
188
00:11:06,530 --> 00:11:08,430
It's hot in here. It must be Summer.
189
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:09,850
It's hot in here. Must be Summer.
190
00:11:09,860 --> 00:11:11,910
It's hot in here. Must be Summer.
191
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,100
It's hot in here. Must be Summer.
192
00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:19,500
- That's cute.
- Really? I just made it up.
193
00:11:20,270 --> 00:11:22,780
Have you seen Slumdog Millionaire?
194
00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:25,020
Oh, yeah, I loved it.
195
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,500
It's loosely based on my life.
196
00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:34,710
Yeah, we're putting the play on for one night
in this little 99-seat theater. Can you come?
197
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,060
Oh, great.
198
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:39,080
Do you know 98 other people
that might want to come?
199
00:11:39,570 --> 00:11:40,820
Oh, hang on.
200
00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:42,670
- Hello?
- Listen carefully.
201
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:46,460
I'm about to give you a set of instructions,
which you must follow to the letter.
202
00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:48,000
Just a sec.
203
00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:50,610
The theater is above a bowling
alley, so it's a little noisy,
204
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:54,420
but it might be the only chance
I'll ever get to play Anne Frank.
205
00:11:55,450 --> 00:11:56,970
And the director is brilliant.
206
00:11:57,020 --> 00:12:00,420
He uses the bowling sounds
as, like, Nazi artillery.
207
00:12:00,730 --> 00:12:03,290
Okay, great, I'll see you then. Hello?
208
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:05,880
Okay, step four.
209
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:09,740
Do you see that small
plastic case on my dresser?
210
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:11,880
Your dresser? Who is this?
211
00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:12,950
It's Sheldon.
212
00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:15,990
Oh, hey, Sheldon! How is San Francisco?
213
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,760
I'm not in San Francisco. I'm on a
train. Were you even listening to me?
214
00:12:19,770 --> 00:12:22,140
Uh, no, I was talking to
my friend, but what's up?
215
00:12:22,170 --> 00:12:24,050
What's up? I'll tell you what's up.
216
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:28,080
I'm in a crisis situation, and I need you
to marshal your powers of concentration,
217
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,960
- limited as they may be...
- Give me the phone.
218
00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:34,100
Hi, Penny. It's Leonard.
219
00:12:34,110 --> 00:12:37,280
Hey, Leonard. What's
going on with Dr. Wkadood?
220
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,120
He's calling to ask you a favor.
221
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:44,980
You might be confused because he didn't use the
words, Penny, "Sheldon," "please" or "favor."
222
00:12:44,990 --> 00:12:47,910
Okay. Enough chitchat.
223
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:51,410
Okay, step one. Locate your
emergency key to our apartment.
224
00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:56,800
Step two: enter our
apartment. Step three:...
225
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,680
Enter my broom.
226
00:12:59,710 --> 00:13:02,800
- Oh, hang on, Sheldon, getting another call.
- No!
227
00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:07,400
Leonard, let me tell you something.
Personal robots cannot get here soon enough.
228
00:13:10,010 --> 00:13:13,970
And that bright little star
peeking her head out early today...
229
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,130
that's Venus.
230
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,240
That is so cool.
231
00:13:18,270 --> 00:13:20,030
You really know a lot about space.
232
00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:25,790
Come on. When you were on TV in
Firefly, you were actually in space.
233
00:13:26,650 --> 00:13:29,350
You're not one of those guys
who really believe that, are you?
234
00:13:29,390 --> 00:13:32,710
You mean one of the hopeless geeks? No.
235
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,440
Those are crazy people.
236
00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:41,080
Howard, be a dear and get
me another one of these.
237
00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:48,830
Now, him, he's one of those geeks.
238
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,820
All right, now, before you
enter my bedroom unescorted,
239
00:13:52,870 --> 00:13:58,930
I need you to understand that this onetime grant
of access does not create a permanent easement.
240
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,550
Easement.
241
00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:06,330
It's a legal right
of access. Good grief.
242
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,670
What? No, don't put me on hold.
243
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,520
Do you believe him?
244
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:18,850
Normally around women, he has the
personality of a boiled potato.
245
00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:23,110
Put one beer in him, and
he's M. Night Charmalarmalon.
246
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,350
Is that what he's drinking?
It's not even real beer.
247
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:32,400
- What? - Look at it.
Non-alcoholic beer.
248
00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:36,240
- What's going on?
- I don't know.
249
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:39,420
Some sort of placebo effect, I guess.
250
00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:43,790
Placebo, you say. Interesting.
251
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,690
Yes, I'm still here. Where
am I going? I'm on a train.
252
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:52,440
Now, what you'll be looking for is a small
wooden box located between a Hoberman's sphere
253
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,870
and a sample of quartz
flecked with pyrite.
254
00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:57,650
Hoberman's Sphere.
255
00:14:57,690 --> 00:15:00,770
It's collapsible icosidodecahedron.
256
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:05,480
No, the thing with the time
on it is my alarm clock.
257
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:11,390
Actually, in India, the names
of constellations are different.
258
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:15,900
Where you have the Big Dipper,
we have the Big Curry Pot.
259
00:15:16,890 --> 00:15:18,680
You're making that up.
260
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,540
You got me.
261
00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:23,070
Now what are you going to do with me?
262
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:28,350
- Raj.
- Yes?
263
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,260
- Look.
- What am I looking at?
264
00:15:30,270 --> 00:15:31,790
You tell me.
265
00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:34,430
Non-alcoholic beer.
266
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,980
I'm the small package
good things come in.
267
00:15:48,950 --> 00:15:51,620
Okay, I got a box, but
there's no key in here.
268
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:52,640
Just letters.
269
00:15:52,670 --> 00:15:54,470
That's the wrg box. Put it back.
270
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,240
Oh, Sheldon, are these
letters from your grandmother?
271
00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:58,920
Don't read those letters!
272
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:02,190
Oh, look, she calls you
"Moon Pie." That is so cute.
273
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,800
Put down the letters!
274
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,020
Hey, Penny. It's Leonard.
275
00:16:09,030 --> 00:16:10,680
Hey, Leonard. How's the train ride?
276
00:16:10,690 --> 00:16:13,150
Delightful.
277
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:14,590
Listen, I don't know what
you're doing right now,
278
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,020
but there are little bubbles forming
on the corners of Sheldon's mouth.
279
00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:20,830
Okay, yeah, I kind of crossed
a line. Put him back on.
280
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,650
Thank you.
281
00:16:23,570 --> 00:16:26,150
- I'm back.
- What up, Moon Pie?
282
00:16:27,030 --> 00:16:30,250
Nobody calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw!
283
00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:34,460
Hey, Penny. Leonard again.
284
00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:39,660
So anyway, in the dream, you and I
were ice skating, just the two of us.
285
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:44,050
And then, I picked you up by your
ankles and twirled you round and round
286
00:16:44,060 --> 00:16:46,940
until your legs tore off.
287
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,180
I tried to stick them back
on, but before I could,
288
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:56,640
you turned into a giant
loaf of pumpernickel bread.
289
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:59,850
What do you think that means?
290
00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:02,690
I really don't know.
291
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,830
I'll give you a little
clue. My favorite sandwich?
292
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,530
Salami on pumpernickel.
293
00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:11,540
Is that so?
294
00:17:11,550 --> 00:17:15,160
And did you know the word "pumpernickel" comes
from the German words "pumper" and "nickel,"
295
00:17:15,190 --> 00:17:17,840
which loosely translates
to "fart goblin"?
296
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,660
No. I didn't.
297
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,380
Okay, I found the box. Now what?
298
00:17:27,390 --> 00:17:33,200
You're holding a Japanese puzzle box,
which takes ten precise moves to open.
299
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,480
First, locate the panel
with the diamond pattern
300
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:40,480
and slide the center portion
one millimeter to the left.
301
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:45,910
Then, on the opposite end of the box,
slide the entire panel down two millimeters.
302
00:17:45,950 --> 00:17:48,250
- You'll hear a slight click.
- Hang on.
303
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:51,670
Sheldon, do you have any
emotional attachment to this box?
304
00:17:51,710 --> 00:17:55,320
No, it's a velty I ordered off the
Internet. Did you hear the click?
305
00:17:55,330 --> 00:17:57,920
Not yet.
306
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:02,680
There it is.
307
00:18:05,610 --> 00:18:07,210
Okay, here's another one.
308
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:13,170
If you married the famous rock guitarist
Johnny Winter, you'd be Summer Winter.
309
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,820
Yep.
310
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:22,120
Okay, I'm going to just go for
broke here and say I like you.
311
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:24,480
Yeah?
312
00:18:24,940 --> 00:18:29,140
So here's my question: do you
realistically see any conversational path
313
00:18:29,180 --> 00:18:31,290
that would take me from where
we are right now to a place
314
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,990
where I could ask you
out and you'd say yes?
315
00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:37,290
No.
316
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,250
Fair enough. I'll leave you in peace.
317
00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:43,270
Thank you.
318
00:18:45,340 --> 00:18:48,330
But before I go,
319
00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:53,110
would you mind if I just take one picture
of us together for my Facebook page?
320
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:54,740
Sure.
321
00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:07,750
Okay. Great. Now, can I take one
where it looks like we're making out?
322
00:19:09,410 --> 00:19:15,610
Okay, now you're going to insert
the flash drive into the USB port...
323
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:24,320
She calls me Moon Pie because I'm
nummy-nummy and she could just eat me up.
324
00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:30,300
Now, please put the flash
drive in the USB port.
325
00:19:32,180 --> 00:19:35,500
The one that looks like
a little duck's mouth.
326
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:38,550
Hey, how'd it go?
327
00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:41,450
Terminator broke my phone.
328
00:19:46,570 --> 00:19:48,560
Excuse me.
329
00:19:49,820 --> 00:19:51,230
Okay, I'll be honest with you.
330
00:19:51,260 --> 00:19:54,700
I've just spent the last two hours
imagining various scenarios in my head,
331
00:19:54,730 --> 00:19:57,100
trying to come up with some
clever line to say to you.
332
00:19:57,140 --> 00:20:00,970
But then I finally realized you're
a human being; I'm a human being.
333
00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:03,210
- I could just say to you...
- Next stop: Santa Barbara.
334
00:20:03,220 --> 00:20:05,410
I'm sorry. This is me.
335
00:20:07,610 --> 00:20:09,990
Hi, my name's Leonard.
336
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,870
So, I'm thinking, you won the
Nobel Prize what, three years ago?
337
00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:19,580
So you must deal with a whole lot
of "What has Smoot done lately?"
338
00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:24,060
My thought is we continue
my research as aeam--
339
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:26,300
you know, Cooper-Smoot,
alphabetical--
340
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:30,940
and when we win the Nobel
Prize, you'll be back on top.
341
00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:34,730
With all due respect, Dr.
Cooper, are you on crack?
342
00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:40,500
Fine! Smoot-Cooper.
343
00:20:40,510 --> 00:20:43,200
Wow, what a diva.