1
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:08,730
* I don't ever want to feel *
2
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,830
* Like I did that day *
3
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:14,700
* Take me to the place I love *
4
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,160
* Take me all the way *
5
00:00:17,230 --> 00:00:20,560
* I don't ever want to feel *
6
00:00:20,630 --> 00:00:22,100
* Like I did that day *
7
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:24,100
* Take me to the place I lo... *
8
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,200
Fellas, please.
9
00:00:29,260 --> 00:00:30,460
Penny, come on.
10
00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:33,200
We were just finding our sound.
11
00:00:33,260 --> 00:00:34,830
You found it.
12
00:00:34,930 --> 00:00:38,260
It's the sound of a cat
being run over by a lawn mower.
13
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:41,630
I'm really very busy.
14
00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:43,000
Is there any way
that we can put this off
15
00:00:43,060 --> 00:00:45,060
until I have
more time to prepare?
16
00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:46,300
Of course.
17
00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,900
But, uh, you understand
my trepidation.
18
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:49,800
What's that about?
19
00:00:49,860 --> 00:00:51,200
Not a clue.
20
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:53,400
Can't we just postpone it
till the spring?
21
00:00:53,460 --> 00:00:54,960
Maybe next summer?
22
00:00:55,030 --> 00:00:57,030
This should be fairly
easy to deduce.
23
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,230
He's holding the phone
to his left ear.
24
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:02,130
Ears do not cross hemispheres,
so he's using the analytical
25
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,200
rather than the emotional side
of the brain, suggesting that
26
00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:05,860
he has no personal
relationship with the caller.
27
00:01:05,930 --> 00:01:08,130
No, I didn't realize
28
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,860
it had been so long.
29
00:01:10,930 --> 00:01:12,700
Sure, I guess
there's no other choice
30
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:14,230
but to just go ahead and do it.
31
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,330
He's referring to an
activity he has done before.
32
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,430
It's unpleasant and
needs to be repeated.
33
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:19,730
This suggests
some sort of
34
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:24,000
invasive medical test,
like perhaps a colonoscopy.
35
00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:25,630
Aren't there any
other options?
36
00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:27,000
There's not a lot of room.
37
00:01:27,060 --> 00:01:28,260
It's gonna be uncomfortable.
38
00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:29,430
Yes, yes.
39
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:32,600
I'm definitely going
with colonoscopy.
40
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:34,660
Okay, bye.
41
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:40,460
My mother's coming to visit.
42
00:01:42,260 --> 00:01:45,430
How about that,
you were right.
43
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:49,030
* Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state *
44
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,330
* Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! *
45
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:53,930
* The Earth began to cool *
46
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,700
* The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools *
47
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,200
* We built the Wall *
* We built the pyramids *
48
00:01:59,260 --> 00:02:01,900
* Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery *
49
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,800
* That all started
with a big bang *
50
00:02:03,860 --> 00:02:05,500
* Bang! *
51
00:02:14,330 --> 00:02:16,800
It's out of order.
52
00:02:16,860 --> 00:02:18,230
Yes, I can read the sign.
53
00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:20,260
I'm just pondering
the implications.
54
00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:26,300
I think it implies that
the elevator doesn't work.
55
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:29,300
Again, I can read the sign.
56
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,630
But the sign and the tape are
coated with a layer of dust,
57
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:35,260
which indicates that the
elevator has been nonfunctional
58
00:02:35,330 --> 00:02:36,800
for a significant
amount of time.
59
00:02:36,860 --> 00:02:39,630
Which suggests either
a remarkable passivity
60
00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:40,830
among the, I assume,
61
00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:43,200
24 to 36 residents
of this building,
62
00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:44,800
based on the number of mailboxes
63
00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:47,460
and given typical
urban population density
64
00:02:47,530 --> 00:02:50,860
or a shared delusion
of functionality.
65
00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:54,700
You must be Leonard's mother.
66
00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:59,100
Oh, I don't know
if I must be, but yes.
67
00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:00,500
Uh, I'm Penny.
I'm his neighbor.
68
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,200
Oh, Dr. Beverly Hofstadter.
69
00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:03,900
Oh, nice to
meet you.
70
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,630
Oh, you're a hand shaker.
71
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:08,060
Interesting.
72
00:03:09,130 --> 00:03:10,400
Uh, why don't you
come with me.
73
00:03:10,460 --> 00:03:12,160
I'll walk you to the apartment.
Oh, all right.
74
00:03:12,230 --> 00:03:15,330
Would you like to exchange
pleasantries on the way?
75
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,660
Yeah, sure, I guess.
76
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,160
All right, you start.
77
00:03:18,230 --> 00:03:20,000
Okay.
78
00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:21,330
You know,
I've always been curious.
79
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,960
What was Leonard like
when he was little?
80
00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:24,260
Oh, I think
you mean young.
81
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,630
He's always
been little.
82
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:27,630
Right, okay.
83
00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:29,060
What was he like
when he was young?
84
00:03:29,130 --> 00:03:31,060
You'll have to be
more specific.
85
00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:34,260
Um, okay, like,
five or six.
86
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:40,760
Five.
87
00:03:40,830 --> 00:03:43,030
Oh, well, at that age,
he was well enmeshed
88
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:45,000
in what Freud would call
the phallic stage
89
00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:46,800
of psychosexual development.
90
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,960
An outmoded theory, of
course, but the boy did spend
91
00:03:49,030 --> 00:03:52,000
most of his waking hours with
a tight grasp on his penis.
92
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,000
Yeah, Leonard mentioned
you were a psychiatrist.
93
00:03:56,060 --> 00:03:57,360
Well, that is
one of my degrees.
94
00:03:57,430 --> 00:03:59,400
My primary field
is neuroscience.
95
00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:02,430
Well, I'm an actress.
96
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,760
Why?
97
00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:11,330
What do you mean why?
98
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,900
Well, there are studies that
suggest that many who go into
99
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,760
the performing arts suffer from
an external locus of identity.
100
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:24,730
Yeah, I don't know
what that means.
101
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,530
Well, it means
you value yourself
102
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,330
only as others value you,
103
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:32,200
which is often the result of
unmet childhood emotional needs.
104
00:04:32,260 --> 00:04:35,760
Oh, well, I had a
wonderful childhood.
105
00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:37,830
Tell me about it.
106
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,160
I know my dad
wanted a boy.
107
00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:47,400
I just, I tried
being good at sports,
108
00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:48,900
but I hated
getting dirty!
109
00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:52,960
And then, I'm assuming,
you entered adolescence.
110
00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:57,500
He called me Slugger until
I got my first training bra.
111
00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:01,530
And then he just stopped
playing catch with me.
112
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,900
I wasn't Slugger anymore.
113
00:05:06,630 --> 00:05:08,000
Your mother's here!
114
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,700
If you want to have intercoue
with that girl,
115
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,630
find out what kind of cologne
her fathore.
116
00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:24,330
Good to see you, Mother.
117
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,530
Here's your
tea, Mother.
118
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:28,860
Oolong?
Yes.
119
00:05:28,930 --> 00:05:30,300
Loose, not bagged?
Yes.
120
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,700
Steeped three minutes?
Yes.
121
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,130
Two-percent milk?
Yes.
122
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,560
Warmed separately?
Yes.
123
00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:35,860
One teaspoon sugar?
Yes.
124
00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:36,860
Raw sugar?
Yes.
125
00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:40,800
It's cold.
126
00:05:44,330 --> 00:05:46,730
G|G|
I'll start again.
127
00:05:46,730 --> 00:05:49,900
I s
128
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,530
My theory is that
his lack of focus
129
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,830
stems from an over-
developed sex drive.
130
00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:00,000
Oh, I don't know
where he would've gotten that.
131
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:03,100
Aside from a pro forma
consummation of our marriage,
132
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,730
his father and I
only had intercourse
133
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,500
for the purposes
of reproduction.
134
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:11,300
That seems a fairly efficient
arrangement.
135
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,700
Yes, we think so.
136
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,130
We've both done papers on it.
137
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,700
Mine from the neuroscientific
point of view
138
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,830
and his from an anthropological.
139
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:22,030
Mine, of course,
was the onlyne worth reading.
140
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:23,530
Of course.
141
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,860
I would very much like to read
about your sex life.
142
00:06:26,930 --> 00:06:29,530
Well, it's all online
or you can order it
143
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,630
from the Princeton
University Press.
144
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:34,700
Here's your
tea, Mother.
145
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,400
So, what are you guys
talking about?
146
00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:40,030
The frequency with which
your parents had intercourse.
147
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,960
Swell.
148
00:06:43,030 --> 00:06:44,460
If you're lucky,
maybe she'll show you
149
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:45,930
the PowerPoint presentation.
150
00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:48,730
I'm sorry,
it's on my other laptop.
151
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,430
Aw...
152
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:53,060
So, Mother...
153
00:06:53,130 --> 00:06:54,560
what's new?
154
00:06:54,630 --> 00:06:56,130
You'll have to be more specific.
155
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,430
All right.
156
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,060
Uh, what's new with you?
157
00:07:00,130 --> 00:07:01,600
Oh, well, I've been having
158
00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:04,760
some fascinating
menopausal symptoms recently.
159
00:07:04,830 --> 00:07:07,300
Maybe something less personal.
160
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,430
Oh.
161
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:10,600
Your Uncle Floyd died.
162
00:07:10,660 --> 00:07:12,200
Oh, my God.
163
00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:13,230
What happened?
164
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:16,700
His heart stopped beating.
165
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:17,960
I have to urinate.
166
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:26,860
What a remarkable woman.
167
00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:30,930
Yeah, I-I thought you guys
might hit it off.
168
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,030
I envy you your childhood.
169
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:35,460
I hate to tell you,
but the only warm memories
170
00:07:35,530 --> 00:07:39,430
I have of my childhood
are of my Uncle Floyd.
171
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,030
You're clearly misremembering.
172
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:42,130
Your mother is brilliant,
173
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,230
analytical,
insightful.
174
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:44,760
And I'm betting
she never hit you
175
00:07:44,830 --> 00:07:45,930
with a Bible because
176
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,100
you wouldn't eat
your Brussels sprouts.
177
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:51,360
Sheldon, you don't give
your mother enough credit.
178
00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:53,230
She's warm, she's loving,
179
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:55,100
she doesn't glue electrodes
to your head
180
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:59,000
to measure your brain waves
while potty training.
181
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:00,530
You were lucky.
182
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,360
When I was a kid,
if I wanted an EEG,
183
00:08:02,430 --> 00:08:04,900
I had to attach
my own electrodes.
184
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,630
So, Dr. Hofstadter,
185
00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:11,060
Leonard rarely talks about
186
00:08:11,130 --> 00:08:13,960
his incredibly successful
brother and sister.
187
00:08:14,030 --> 00:08:15,630
Please, don't go
there, Howard.
188
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,200
I understand that,
189
00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:19,830
unlike Leonard,
they're at the top
190
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,600
of their respective fields.
191
00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:25,700
Boy, you suck.
192
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,360
Well, Leonard's younger brother,
Michael,
193
00:08:27,430 --> 00:08:29,530
is a tenured law professor
at Harvard,
194
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:30,800
and his sister just
successfully grew
195
00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:34,860
a human pancreas
in an adolescent gibbon.
196
00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:38,300
So, she's close
to curing diabetes?
197
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,560
Why else would you grow
a pancreas in a teenaged gibbon?
198
00:08:41,630 --> 00:08:44,530
Wow, you must be very proud.
199
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:45,530
Why?
200
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,060
They're not my accomplishments.
201
00:08:48,130 --> 00:08:50,300
I have to urinate.
202
00:08:53,430 --> 00:08:55,630
Why are you doing this?
203
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:56,800
You know the rules.
204
00:08:56,860 --> 00:08:59,530
You brought your mom to work...
you must suffer.
205
00:09:01,030 --> 00:09:02,300
Leonard, I had no idea
206
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,800
your siblings were so much more
successful than you.
207
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,430
Yeah, you're like the Jar Jar
Binks of the Hofstadter family.
208
00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:12,860
Oh, meesa think
209
00:09:12,930 --> 00:09:15,260
yousa lookin' so so sad.
210
00:09:17,130 --> 00:09:19,260
You know, rather than mock me,
my friends might realize
211
00:09:19,330 --> 00:09:22,160
that this is difficult
and try to help me through it.
212
00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:24,700
Nope, I think mocking you
is more fun.
213
00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:28,730
Next time, don't yousa
bring mama to work.
214
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,760
Okee-day?
215
00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:33,260
That was fast.
216
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:34,930
Oh, the middle stall
was occupied.
217
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,460
I'll have to try again later.
218
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:38,800
That's totally understandable.
219
00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:40,830
In bladder voiding,
as in real estate,
220
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:43,630
it's location,
location, location.
221
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:46,030
So, where were we?
222
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:47,860
Howard lives with his mother
and Raj can't speak to women
223
00:09:47,930 --> 00:09:49,200
unless he's drunk.
224
00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:50,860
Go.
225
00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:53,330
That's fascinating.
226
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,260
Selective mutism is quite rare.
227
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,760
On the other hand,
an adult Jewish male
228
00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:00,260
living with his mother
is so common
229
00:10:00,330 --> 00:10:03,360
it borders on
sociological clich?.
230
00:10:05,060 --> 00:10:07,160
It's just temporary;
I pay rent.
231
00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:09,800
He lives in the same room
where his bassinet was.
232
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,500
You know, both
selective mutism
233
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:13,960
and an inability
to separate from one's mother
234
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,260
can stem from
a pathological fear of women.
235
00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:17,830
It might
explain why
236
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:20,530
the two of you have created
an ersatz homosexual marriage
237
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,360
to satisfy your need
for intimacy.
238
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,460
Say what?
239
00:10:33,660 --> 00:10:36,400
That's basically
what I just said.
240
00:10:36,460 --> 00:10:37,860
You brought your husband
to work.
241
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,330
You know the rules.
242
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:45,030
Meesa thinking yousa
looking pretty sad now
too, betcha, betcha.
243
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,060
Leonard, it's 1:00.
244
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:49,300
Weren't you going to show me
your laboratory at 1:00?
245
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,660
There's no hurry, Mother.
246
00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:52,400
Tell them more about their
secret love for each other.
247
00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:54,200
But it's 1:00.
248
00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:56,560
You were going to show me
your laboratory at 1:00.
249
00:10:56,630 --> 00:10:57,660
Her reasoning is
unassailable.
250
00:10:57,730 --> 00:10:59,700
It is 1:00.
251
00:11:01,630 --> 00:11:03,330
Fine. Let's go.
252
00:11:05,030 --> 00:11:07,100
I think you'll find my
work pretty interesting.
253
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,260
I'm attempting to replicate
the dark matter signal
254
00:11:09,330 --> 00:11:12,030
found in sodium iodide
crystals by the Italians.
255
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,860
So, no original research?
256
00:11:13,930 --> 00:11:15,400
No.
257
00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:17,760
Well, what's the point
of my seeing it?
258
00:11:17,830 --> 00:11:20,630
I could just read the paper
the Italians wrote.
259
00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:23,960
Just for the record,
260
00:11:24,030 --> 00:11:27,100
we're not in an ersatz
homosexual relationship.
261
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:28,830
Well, then why didn't
you say that to her?
262
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:30,500
Why is it always my
responsibility?
263
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,500
It's not always
your responsibility.
264
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:34,360
I swear, this is the
same thing you did
265
00:11:34,430 --> 00:11:36,600
at the comic book store
last week.
266
00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:42,160
I can't believe you're
bringing that up.
267
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:45,060
I didn't bring it up.
You did.
268
00:11:45,130 --> 00:11:47,330
We'll talk about
this later.
269
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:50,100
You always say that,
but we never do.
270
00:12:04,130 --> 00:12:05,660
Hey.
271
00:12:05,730 --> 00:12:06,800
You got alcohol?
272
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,130
Your mom still here?
Yep.
273
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,800
Come on in.
274
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,760
Wait, wait, she's not gonna come
here looking for you, is she?
275
00:12:13,830 --> 00:12:16,930
Relax. She took Sheldon to the
hospital to get a brain scan.
276
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,930
Oh, my God. What happened?
277
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,760
Nothing. Mother likes
looking at brains
278
00:12:20,830 --> 00:12:22,700
and Sheldon likes getting
his brain scanned.
279
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,200
Geez, what a fun couple.
280
00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:28,960
She's only been here
a day and a half
281
00:12:29,030 --> 00:12:30,800
and I'm seriously
considering alcoholism
282
00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:33,260
as a new career path.
283
00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:35,060
Hey, I talked to her
for five minutes yesterday
284
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,330
and I've been
half bombed ever since.
285
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,300
You can't let her
get into your head.
286
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,900
My head, what about yours?
287
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,060
It's too late for me.
288
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:46,500
My head is her summer house.
289
00:12:47,530 --> 00:12:49,260
She was right, you know.
290
00:12:49,330 --> 00:12:52,330
The locus of my identity
is totally exterior to me.
291
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,830
Oh, yeah, there
she is. Hi, Mom.
292
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:59,260
I mean, do you know where
I was all morning?
293
00:12:59,330 --> 00:13:01,030
Auditioning
with 50 other blondes
294
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:03,630
for some stupid
antidepressant commercial.
295
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,230
And for what?
296
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:08,400
So I'll finally get
my daddy's approval?
297
00:13:08,460 --> 00:13:09,660
Did you get the part?
298
00:13:09,730 --> 00:13:13,230
No, they said I was too perky.
299
00:13:16,530 --> 00:13:18,900
You want to talk about not
getting love from a parent.
300
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,760
You know what I used to
do when I was little
301
00:13:20,830 --> 00:13:23,330
to have some sensation
of human contact?
302
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,860
Yeah, you grabbed your
penis and wouldn't let go.
303
00:13:30,730 --> 00:13:33,060
Your mother told me.
304
00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:34,330
Of course she did.
305
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,000
Anyway, that's not
what I was gonna say.
306
00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:37,700
When I was ten years old,
307
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:40,560
I built a hugging machine.
308
00:13:40,630 --> 00:13:42,730
A hugging machine?
309
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,300
Yeah. I got a
dressmaker's mannequin,
310
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,100
I stuffed it with
an electric blanket
311
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,060
so it would be warm, and built
two radio-controlled arms
312
00:13:49,130 --> 00:13:52,200
that would hug me
and pat my back.
313
00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:54,230
Oh, that is so sad.
314
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,330
You know what the
saddest part was?
What?
315
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,230
My father used to borrow it.
316
00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:05,460
Your scan data will be very
helpful to my research.
317
00:14:05,530 --> 00:14:07,260
You have a remarkable brain.
318
00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:10,030
I know.
319
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,960
Although I've always hated
320
00:14:12,030 --> 00:14:15,400
how my right frontal lobe
looks in pictures.
321
00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:17,300
Common complaint among men.
322
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,530
Nothing's ever big enough.
323
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,300
Except when they get a tumor.
324
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,400
Then you never hear
the end of it.
325
00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:27,560
I'd love to see a scan
of your brain sometime.
326
00:14:27,630 --> 00:14:28,900
Oh, I'll send you a link,
327
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,060
but its physiology
is fairly unimpressive.
328
00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:33,060
Oh, I can't believe that.
329
00:14:33,130 --> 00:14:35,500
Your unwillingness to accept
empirical evidence
330
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,460
suggests an attempt
at flattery.
331
00:14:38,530 --> 00:14:41,130
My apologies.
332
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,960
I've been living
with your son too long.
333
00:14:43,030 --> 00:14:45,160
Gotten into some bad habits.
334
00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:46,960
Understandable.
335
00:14:47,030 --> 00:14:50,400
Can I make you a cup of tea?
I doubt it,
336
00:14:50,460 --> 00:14:53,400
but if anyone has a chance,
it's probably you.
337
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,300
I feel very comfortable
around you.
338
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,760
I feel very comfortable
around you, too.
339
00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:04,160
It's surprising
340
00:15:04,230 --> 00:15:07,100
because I generally
don't feel comfortable around,
341
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,500
well, anyone.
342
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,430
Nor I.
343
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:14,630
What are the odds
that two individuals
344
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:17,330
as unique as ourselves
would be connected
345
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:21,030
by someone as comparatively
workaday as your son?
346
00:15:22,060 --> 00:15:23,830
Is that a rhetorical point
347
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:26,960
or would you like to do
the math?
348
00:15:27,030 --> 00:15:29,500
I'd like to do the math.
349
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:34,060
I'd like that, too.
350
00:15:50,930 --> 00:15:52,430
Okay, now this time,
Uh-huh.
351
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,730
you're gonna lick
the salt...
352
00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:57,100
off my neck...
353
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,460
...do the shot...
354
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,400
...and then bite the lime.
355
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:13,830
I'm sorry, I didn't hear
anything after "lick."
356
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:18,060
Neck, shot, lime.
357
00:16:26,230 --> 00:16:27,760
Okay, shot, lime.
358
00:16:27,830 --> 00:16:29,360
Right.
359
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,000
Ah!
360
00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:37,130
Where's the lime?
361
00:16:41,530 --> 00:16:43,700
Oh, okay, we're sharing.
362
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:03,300
So, what do you think?
363
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,100
I'm very tempted.
364
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,000
I'm just not sure
it's appropriate
365
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:11,030
with my son's roommate.
366
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:13,130
Normally, I'd feel
the same way.
367
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,030
But based on everything
I've observed about us,
368
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:19,860
I can't help but speculate
we'd be very good together.
369
00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:22,430
True. I've had
a similar observation.
370
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,560
It's certainly something
371
00:17:24,630 --> 00:17:27,500
I could never do
with my husband.
372
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:31,160
I was hesitant the
first time I tried it,
373
00:17:31,230 --> 00:17:34,060
but I experienced
an unanticipated
374
00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:37,630
and remarkable release
of endorphins.
375
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,830
It's quite satisfying.
376
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:43,530
I see what you're doing.
377
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:44,860
You're appealing
378
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:48,230
to the neuroscientific
researcher in me.
379
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:52,230
You see right through
me, don't you?
380
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:54,800
Only when you're in
a CAT scanner.
381
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:07,130
This is actually
gonna happen.
382
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,460
Honey, shush, shush,
shush, shush, shush.
383
00:18:09,530 --> 00:18:12,830
You shush, I'm happy.
I want to talk about it.
384
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:14,560
You know what my mother
would say about this?
385
00:18:14,630 --> 00:18:16,830
She would say because you were
not loved by your father
386
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:18,330
and I was not loved
by my mother,
387
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,730
that having sex is our way
of making up for the intimacy
388
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,000
we didn't get as children.
389
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:26,000
Why would you bring
that up right now?
390
00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:27,630
I don't know.
391
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:28,730
Foreplay?
392
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,330
So you're saying
393
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,760
you're not having
sex with me,
394
00:18:33,830 --> 00:18:35,600
you're having sex
with your mother?
395
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,900
I'm gonna go with "no."
396
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,500
That is the sickest
thing I've ever heard.
397
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:43,860
Come on, you're trying
398
00:18:43,930 --> 00:18:47,460
to have sex with your father,
and I'm okay with that.
399
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,500
Get out!
400
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,830
She said shush.
I should have shushed.
401
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:06,030
* Ooh, all night, all night *
402
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:07,630
* Oh, every night *
403
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,200
* Hold tight *
* Hold tight *
404
00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:13,730
* You hold tight *
* Hold tight *
405
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,630
* Baby, hold tight *
406
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:19,200
* Anyway you want it,
that's the way you need it *
407
00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:25,430
All right, Mother.
408
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:27,030
Um, have a nice flight.
409
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,660
That's not really in my control,
is it?
410
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,030
Oh, uh, yes.
411
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:44,260
Oh, good morning.
412
00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:45,560
Morning.
413
00:19:45,630 --> 00:19:47,800
Look, I was just coming
over to talk to you.
414
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:48,830
You don't have to.
415
00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:50,530
Ever.
416
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,630
Gotcha.
417
00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:53,660
Good-bye, Mother.
418
00:19:53,730 --> 00:19:55,030
Good-bye, Leonard.
419
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:56,400
So, Slugger,
shall we pick up
420
00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:59,430
where we left
off last time?
421
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,230
I mean, my mom
could've just said,
422
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:05,160
"Bob, get over it,
she's a girl, move on."
423
00:20:05,230 --> 00:20:07,360
But she didn't.
424
00:20:07,430 --> 00:20:09,800
Not one word.
Interesting.
425
00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:12,230
Would you be willing to fly
to New Jersey and discuss
426
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,900
your relationship with your
parents during a brain scan?
427
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,530
Would it help?
Well, it would help me.