1 00:00:01,217 --> 00:00:02,514 - Nice move. - I've got it. 2 00:00:02,686 --> 00:00:04,620 - Take him down. - He's got you, Sheldon. 3 00:00:04,788 --> 00:00:06,949 - Come on. - He's completely schooling you. 4 00:00:07,123 --> 00:00:10,217 Hey, guys, some of the other waitresses wanted me to ask you something. 5 00:00:10,393 --> 00:00:12,918 - It's Tressling. - It combines the physical strength... 6 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:17,465 ...of arm wrestling with the mental agility of Tetris into the ultimate sport. 7 00:00:17,634 --> 00:00:21,434 That's terrific, but what they wanted me to ask you is to cut it the hell out. 8 00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:23,367 All right, come on, guys. Come on. 9 00:00:27,744 --> 00:00:29,644 We might as well stop, it's a stalemate. 10 00:00:29,813 --> 00:00:33,772 You're beating me in Tetris, but you've got the upper body strength of a Keebler elf. 11 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:36,248 Keebler elf? I got a Keebler elf right here. 12 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,191 Okay, it's a stalemate. 13 00:00:44,661 --> 00:00:48,427 Leonard, will we be seeing you on Saturday for your free birthday cheesecake? 14 00:00:48,598 --> 00:00:50,964 He can't eat cheesecake. He's lactose intolerant. 15 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,601 Okay, he can have carrot cake. 16 00:00:52,769 --> 00:00:55,636 - What about the cream-cheese frosting? - He can scrape it off. 17 00:00:56,773 --> 00:00:59,799 Forget about the cake. How did you know my birthday's Saturday? 18 00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:01,443 I did your horoscope, remember? 19 00:01:01,611 --> 00:01:05,103 I was gonna do everybody's until Sheldon went on one of his psychotic rants. 20 00:01:05,915 --> 00:01:07,780 For the record, that psychotic rant... 21 00:01:07,951 --> 00:01:10,818 ...was a concise summation of the research of Bertram Forer... 22 00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:13,387 ...who, in 1948, proved conclusively... 23 00:01:13,556 --> 00:01:15,353 ...through meticulous experiments... 24 00:01:15,525 --> 00:01:17,891 ...that astrology is pseudoscientific hokum. 25 00:01:18,061 --> 00:01:19,858 Blah, blah, blah. Typical Taurus. 26 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,959 - So we gonna see you Saturday? - I don't think so. 27 00:01:24,134 --> 00:01:26,068 - Why not? - I don't celebrate my birthday. 28 00:01:26,236 --> 00:01:27,396 Shut up. Yeah, you do. 29 00:01:27,570 --> 00:01:29,697 It's no big deal. It's the way I was raised. 30 00:01:29,873 --> 00:01:32,341 My parents focused on celebrating achievements... 31 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:36,275 ...and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them. 32 00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:39,943 - That's so silly. - It's actually based on very sound theories. 33 00:01:40,116 --> 00:01:43,017 - His mother published a paper on it. - Well, what was it called? 34 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,586 "I Hate My Son and That's Why He Can't Have Cake"? 35 00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:48,316 It was obviously effective. 36 00:01:48,491 --> 00:01:50,686 Leonard grew up to be an experimental physicist. 37 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:54,557 Perhaps if she'd also denied him Christmas, he'd be a little better at it. 38 00:01:55,398 --> 00:01:57,229 Thank you. 39 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:01,268 Well, I love birthdays. Waking up to Mom's special French-toast breakfast... 40 00:02:01,437 --> 00:02:05,203 ...wearing the birthday king crown, playing laser tag with all my friends. 41 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,400 Yeah, see? That's what kids should have. 42 00:02:07,577 --> 00:02:09,977 Actually, that was last year. 43 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:16,249 So you've really never had a birthday party? 44 00:02:16,419 --> 00:02:17,943 No, but it was okay. 45 00:02:18,121 --> 00:02:22,353 When I was little, I'd think my parents would change their mind and surprise me. 46 00:02:22,525 --> 00:02:25,016 This one birthday, I came home from my cello lesson... 47 00:02:25,195 --> 00:02:27,163 ...and I saw strange cars parked out front. 48 00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:29,321 When I got to the door, I hear whispering... 49 00:02:29,499 --> 00:02:32,900 ...and I could smell German chocolate cake, which is my favorite. 50 00:02:33,837 --> 00:02:37,637 - And? - It turns out my grandfather had died. 51 00:02:38,274 --> 00:02:40,538 Oh, my God, that's terrible. 52 00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:42,905 Well, it was kind of like a birthday party. 53 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:47,241 I got to see all my cousins, and there was cake, so.... 54 00:02:48,051 --> 00:02:51,077 - That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. - You think? 55 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,313 Go ahead, tell her about your senior prom. 56 00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:22,017 Make sure they remember, no peanuts. 57 00:03:22,185 --> 00:03:26,281 Howard, every Thai restaurant in town knows you can't eat peanuts. 58 00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:30,247 When they see me coming, they go, "Ah, no-peanut boy." 59 00:03:41,237 --> 00:03:44,764 - Hello, Penny, Leonard just left. - I know, I wanna talk to you. 60 00:03:44,941 --> 00:03:46,602 What would we talk about? 61 00:03:46,876 --> 00:03:49,344 We have no overlapping areas of interest I'm aware of. 62 00:03:49,512 --> 00:03:52,777 - As you know, I don't care for chitchat. - Can you just let me in? 63 00:03:52,949 --> 00:03:56,146 Well, all right, but I don't see this as a promising endeavor. 64 00:03:57,420 --> 00:03:58,444 Okay, here's the deal. 65 00:03:58,621 --> 00:04:01,522 We'll throw Leonard a kickass surprise party for his birthday. 66 00:04:01,691 --> 00:04:02,715 I hardly think so. 67 00:04:02,892 --> 00:04:05,122 Leonard made it clear he doesn't want a party. 68 00:04:05,295 --> 00:04:07,593 Did someone say party? 69 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,994 He just doesn't know he wants one, because he's never had one. 70 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:13,362 I suppose that's possible. 71 00:04:13,536 --> 00:04:17,199 But for the record, I've never had a threesome and yet I still know I want one. 72 00:04:19,575 --> 00:04:20,599 Here's the difference. 73 00:04:20,777 --> 00:04:23,575 The possibility exists Leonard could have a birthday party... 74 00:04:23,746 --> 00:04:25,839 ...before hell freezes over. 75 00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:30,383 Fine. If I do have a threesome, you can't be part of it. 76 00:04:32,221 --> 00:04:33,882 I'm just kidding. Yes, you can. 77 00:04:35,158 --> 00:04:37,023 Can you bring a friend? 78 00:04:38,728 --> 00:04:41,128 I think a birthday party is a terrible idea. 79 00:04:41,297 --> 00:04:44,027 I envy Leonard for growing up without that anguish. 80 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,224 Anguish? 81 00:04:45,401 --> 00:04:48,495 Year after year, I had to endure wearing conical hats... 82 00:04:48,671 --> 00:04:52,004 ...while being forced into the crowded, sweaty hell of bouncy castles. 83 00:04:52,175 --> 00:04:53,802 Not to mention being blindfolded... 84 00:04:53,977 --> 00:04:56,241 ...and spun toward a grotesque tailless donkey... 85 00:04:56,412 --> 00:04:59,472 ...as the other children mocked my disorientation. 86 00:05:00,249 --> 00:05:04,549 Okay, sweetie, I understand you have scars that no non-professional can heal... 87 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,622 ...but nevertheless, we're gonna throw Leonard a birthday party. 88 00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:09,815 I'm extremely uncomfortable with dancing... 89 00:05:09,993 --> 00:05:13,224 ...loud music and most other forms of alcohol-induced frivolity. 90 00:05:14,764 --> 00:05:16,391 - Nevertheless-- - In addition-- 91 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:19,034 You either help me throw Leonard a birthday party... 92 00:05:19,202 --> 00:05:20,863 ...or I will go into your bedroom... 93 00:05:21,037 --> 00:05:23,562 ...and unbag all your mint-condition comic books. 94 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:28,370 And on one of them-- You won't know which. --I'll draw a tiny happy face in ink. 95 00:05:30,146 --> 00:05:34,242 You can't do that. If you make a mark in a mint comic book, it's no longer mint. 96 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,612 Do you understand the concept of blackmail? 97 00:05:36,786 --> 00:05:38,651 Well, of course, I-- Oh. 98 00:05:40,890 --> 00:05:44,257 Yeah, I have an idea. Let's throw Leonard a kickass birthday party. 99 00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:05,743 That's not the secret knock. 100 00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:09,415 This is the secret knock: 101 00:06:12,822 --> 00:06:14,312 What difference does it make? 102 00:06:14,490 --> 00:06:17,482 The point of a secret knock is to establish a nonverbal signal... 103 00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:20,390 ...to verify the identity of one's coconspirators. 104 00:06:20,563 --> 00:06:23,896 - Is that Raj and Howard? - Possibly, but unverified. 105 00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:25,591 Would you just let us in? 106 00:06:25,768 --> 00:06:28,862 Luckily for you, this is not a nuclear reactor. 107 00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:30,699 So, what'd you get the birthday boy? 108 00:06:30,873 --> 00:06:33,808 Raj got him an awesome limited-edition Dark Knight sculpture... 109 00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,876 ...based on Alex Ross' definitive Batman. 110 00:06:36,045 --> 00:06:39,947 And I got him this amazing autographed copy of The Feynman Lectures on Physics. 111 00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:43,483 Nice. I got him a sweater. 112 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:47,817 Okay, well, he might like that. I've seen him get chilly. 113 00:06:48,624 --> 00:06:51,991 - Sheldon, I didn't see your present. - That's because I didn't bring one. 114 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,287 - Why not? - Don't ask. 115 00:06:53,463 --> 00:06:56,489 The entire institution of gift-giving makes no sense. 116 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:59,829 - Too late. - Let's say I go out and I spend $50 on you. 117 00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:03,130 It's a laborious activity because I have to imagine what you need... 118 00:07:03,306 --> 00:07:04,864 ...where you know what you need. 119 00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:08,169 I could simplify things, just give you the $50 directly... 120 00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:11,177 ...and then you could give me $50 on my birthday and so on... 121 00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:15,477 ...until one of us dies, leaving the other one old and $50 richer. 122 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,784 And I ask you, is it worth it? 123 00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,221 Told you not to ask. 124 00:07:22,391 --> 00:07:26,088 Well, Sheldon, you're his friend. Friends give each other presents. 125 00:07:26,262 --> 00:07:28,696 I accept your premise, I reject your conclusion. 126 00:07:30,766 --> 00:07:34,429 Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention. 127 00:07:34,804 --> 00:07:37,204 - What? - Just do it. 128 00:07:39,408 --> 00:07:42,673 It's a non-optional social convention. 129 00:07:43,779 --> 00:07:45,770 Ah, fair enough. 130 00:07:49,018 --> 00:07:50,918 He came with a manual. 131 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:54,781 Question, how am I going to get Leonard a present before the party? 132 00:07:54,957 --> 00:07:57,755 I don't drive and the things available in walking distance... 133 00:07:57,927 --> 00:07:59,792 ...are a Thai restaurant and a gas station. 134 00:07:59,962 --> 00:08:04,092 I could wrap up an order of mee krob and a couple of lottery scratchers. 135 00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:07,794 Okay, let's do this. I will drive Sheldon to get a present. 136 00:08:07,970 --> 00:08:10,768 - Howard, get rid of Leonard for two hours. - No problem. 137 00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:14,273 And then, Raj, you bring the stuff across the hall and start setting up. 138 00:08:15,144 --> 00:08:17,704 - What if guests show up? - Entertain them. 139 00:08:18,948 --> 00:08:20,848 What if they're women? 140 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,379 Stare at them and make them feel uncomfortable. 141 00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:36,959 - Hey. - Hey. 142 00:08:37,366 --> 00:08:39,527 - How's it going? - Fine. 143 00:08:40,236 --> 00:08:45,833 So listen, the Nuart is showing the revised, definitive cut of Blade Runner. 144 00:08:46,008 --> 00:08:47,236 - Seen it. - No. 145 00:08:47,410 --> 00:08:50,106 You've seen the 25th Anniversary Final Cut. 146 00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:53,578 This one has eight seconds of previously-unseen footage. 147 00:08:53,749 --> 00:08:56,411 They say it completely changes the tone of the film. 148 00:08:57,186 --> 00:08:58,585 Pass. 149 00:08:58,754 --> 00:09:03,282 Come on. Afterwards, there's a Q&A with Harrison Ford's body double. 150 00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,859 Look, I am in the "Halo" battle of my life here. 151 00:09:06,028 --> 00:09:08,588 There's this kid in Copenhagen, he has no immune system. 152 00:09:08,764 --> 00:09:11,858 So all he does is sit in his bubble and play "Halo" 24/7. 153 00:09:12,535 --> 00:09:14,264 Can't you play him some other time? 154 00:09:14,437 --> 00:09:17,099 Not if you believe his doctors. 155 00:09:20,343 --> 00:09:22,743 Oh, my God, do you smell gas? 156 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:25,670 - No. - Yeah, no. 157 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:32,116 You know, they have DVDs over there. 158 00:09:32,288 --> 00:09:35,780 Yes, but they have DVD burners over here. 159 00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:38,859 Leonard needs a DVD burner. 160 00:09:39,028 --> 00:09:41,462 Sheldon, a gift shouldn't be something someone needs. 161 00:09:41,631 --> 00:09:42,893 It should be something fun. 162 00:09:43,065 --> 00:09:47,764 - Something they wouldn't buy for themself. - You mean, like a sweater? 163 00:09:49,739 --> 00:09:53,971 Well, it's a fun sweater. It's got a bold geometric print. 164 00:09:54,143 --> 00:09:57,306 - Is it the geometry that makes it fun? - Okay. 165 00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:00,278 The point is, one of the ways we show we care about people... 166 00:10:00,449 --> 00:10:04,078 ...is by putting thought and imagination into the gifts we give them. 167 00:10:04,253 --> 00:10:08,280 - Okay, I see, so not a DVD burner. - Exactly. 168 00:10:08,457 --> 00:10:12,416 Something he wouldn't buy for himself, something fun, something like-- Ah! 169 00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:15,530 An 802.11n wireless router. 170 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,665 Here you go, Copenhagen boy. 171 00:10:20,836 --> 00:10:23,498 How about a taste of Hans Christian hand grenade? 172 00:10:27,743 --> 00:10:29,335 That could not feel good. 173 00:10:31,681 --> 00:10:35,117 Come on, come on. Oh, you clever.... 174 00:10:38,354 --> 00:10:40,379 Come on, come on. 175 00:10:40,856 --> 00:10:42,517 Take that. 176 00:10:43,659 --> 00:10:45,650 Uh-oh. 177 00:10:46,996 --> 00:10:48,987 Uh-oh. 178 00:10:49,198 --> 00:10:51,632 - What's the matter? - This granola bar has peanuts in it. 179 00:10:51,801 --> 00:10:54,861 - Oh, my God. Why did you eat it? - I don't know, it was just there. 180 00:10:55,037 --> 00:10:58,734 Well, if I had a gun there, would you have shot yourself? 181 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,068 Don't yell at me. 182 00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:02,642 - I've gotta go to the emergency room. - Now? 183 00:11:02,812 --> 00:11:05,872 No, after my tongue has swollen to the size of a brisket. 184 00:11:06,515 --> 00:11:09,109 All right, just let me get my keys. 185 00:11:09,285 --> 00:11:12,550 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God-- 186 00:11:12,722 --> 00:11:15,054 The laundry is out of the hamper. 187 00:11:18,527 --> 00:11:21,462 Okay, Sheldon, what was it supposed to be? 188 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,695 Fine, it's out of the washer. 189 00:11:24,867 --> 00:11:27,335 I'll call you when it's in the dryer. 190 00:11:27,803 --> 00:11:28,827 All right, let's go. 191 00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:43,445 - What do you think? - Um, that one. 192 00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:46,452 - Because of the additional Ethernet ports? - Sure. 193 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,284 He doesn't need them. He's got a six-port Ethernet switch. 194 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,119 - Oh, okay, then this one. - Why? 195 00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:54,421 I don't know. The man on the box looks so happy. 196 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,960 Penny, if I'm going to buy Leonard a gift, I'm going to do it right. 197 00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:01,194 I refuse to let him experience the same childhood trauma I did. 198 00:12:01,837 --> 00:12:04,897 I know I'm gonna regret this, but what trauma? 199 00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:09,803 On my 12th birthday, I really wanted a titanium centrifuge... 200 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,812 ...so, you know, I could separate radioactive isotopes. 201 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,108 Of course, yeah. 202 00:12:14,283 --> 00:12:18,276 Instead of a titanium centrifuge, my parents bought me-- 203 00:12:18,454 --> 00:12:19,921 Wow, this is hard. 204 00:12:20,890 --> 00:12:24,690 They got me a motorized dirt bike. 205 00:12:26,462 --> 00:12:27,486 No. 206 00:12:28,063 --> 00:12:31,658 What 12-year-old boy wants a motorized dirt bike? 207 00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:33,833 All of them. 208 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,493 - Really? - Yeah. 209 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,333 Huh. 210 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,036 - So we're getting this one? - Yeah, I suppose. 211 00:12:41,210 --> 00:12:42,939 All right, let's go. 212 00:12:43,112 --> 00:12:45,842 Excuse me, do you know anything about this stuff? 213 00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,210 I know everything about this stuff. 214 00:12:48,384 --> 00:12:51,012 Okay, I have my own wholesale flower business. 215 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,178 I wanna hook up my computer in the front... 216 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,346 ...with the one in my refrigerated warehouse. 217 00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:57,958 Buy this one, it's the one we're getting. Happy guy. 218 00:12:58,127 --> 00:12:59,321 No, she doesn't want that. 219 00:12:59,495 --> 00:13:03,693 She needs a point-to-point peer network with a range extender. 220 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,391 - Thank you. - Which hard drive do I want? 221 00:13:06,569 --> 00:13:10,869 - FireWire or USB? - It depends on what bus you have available. 222 00:13:14,577 --> 00:13:17,637 I drive a Chevy Cavalier. 223 00:13:18,581 --> 00:13:20,071 Oh, dear Lord. 224 00:13:20,249 --> 00:13:22,740 - We have to go. - Not now, this poor man needs me. 225 00:13:22,918 --> 00:13:24,943 You, hold on, I'll be right with you. 226 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:29,284 What computer do you have, and please don't say a white one. 227 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:36,960 - Excuse me. - Fill this out and have a seat. 228 00:13:37,132 --> 00:13:39,430 We're throwing my friend a surprise party... 229 00:13:39,602 --> 00:13:41,934 ...and I'm supposed to keep him out for two hours. 230 00:13:42,104 --> 00:13:44,231 Uh-huh. Fill this out and have a seat. 231 00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:47,204 The way I could get him to leave was tell him I ate a peanut. 232 00:13:47,376 --> 00:13:49,071 I'm allergic to peanuts. 233 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:52,510 Well, in that case, fill this out and have a seat. 234 00:13:53,382 --> 00:13:55,782 All I need from you is to give me a BAND-AID. 235 00:13:55,951 --> 00:13:57,441 I can pretend I had epinephrine. 236 00:13:57,620 --> 00:14:00,612 Tell my friend you need to keep me under observation for an hour. 237 00:14:00,789 --> 00:14:02,086 - Is that all you need? - Yes. 238 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,850 Get out of my ER. 239 00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:06,525 - No, you don't understand. - I understand. 240 00:14:06,695 --> 00:14:10,426 But unfortunately, this hospital is not equipped to treat stupid. 241 00:14:11,967 --> 00:14:14,333 Okay, I get it. I know how the world works. 242 00:14:14,503 --> 00:14:20,373 How about if I were to introduce you to the man who freed your people? 243 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,612 Unless my people were freed by Benjamin Franklin... 244 00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:29,512 ...and his five twin brothers, you are wasting your time. 245 00:14:31,854 --> 00:14:34,721 Hey. Sorry, I couldn't find a parking spot. How are you doing? 246 00:14:34,890 --> 00:14:36,221 Bad, very bad. 247 00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:38,553 Really? You don't look like you're swelling up. 248 00:14:38,727 --> 00:14:41,355 We should pick up Benadryl at the drugstore and go home. 249 00:14:41,530 --> 00:14:42,997 - We can't go home. - Why not? 250 00:14:43,933 --> 00:14:45,560 Because-- Phbbtt! 251 00:14:45,734 --> 00:14:47,361 Because-- Phbbtt! 252 00:14:48,003 --> 00:14:49,732 Brisket. Brisket. 253 00:14:50,940 --> 00:14:52,498 - Water, need water. - I'll be right back. 254 00:14:58,581 --> 00:15:01,209 - Penny, listen, I've got a problem. - Yeah, well, so do I. 255 00:15:01,383 --> 00:15:04,181 - You gotta stall Leonard longer. - I don't think I can. 256 00:15:04,353 --> 00:15:06,821 You have to. We all have to be there to yell "surprise." 257 00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:10,049 You have to understand something. We're in a hospital right now. 258 00:15:10,225 --> 00:15:11,317 Why? Is Leonard okay? 259 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:15,020 Leonard's fine. I'm fine, thanks for asking, by the way. 260 00:15:15,197 --> 00:15:18,428 Okay, I don't need your attitude. Just hold him there a little longer. 261 00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:22,401 I've done my best, but he wants to go home and I don't know how to stop him. 262 00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:23,595 Okay, how about this? 263 00:15:23,772 --> 00:15:25,967 Keep him longer, when you get to the party... 264 00:15:26,141 --> 00:15:28,701 ...I'll point out which of my friends are easy. 265 00:15:37,886 --> 00:15:40,286 Don't toy with me, woman. 266 00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:43,581 I got a former fat girl with no self-esteem. 267 00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:46,023 A girl who punishes her father by sleeping around. 268 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:49,961 An alcoholic who's two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat. 269 00:15:52,134 --> 00:15:53,533 Thy will be done. 270 00:16:03,779 --> 00:16:06,304 I'm doing this for you, little buddy. 271 00:16:12,154 --> 00:16:15,180 Okay, we don't have that in stock... 272 00:16:15,924 --> 00:16:18,654 ...but I can special-order it for you. 273 00:16:18,827 --> 00:16:20,385 Him. 274 00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:23,224 Excuse me, sir, you don't work here. 275 00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:26,533 Yes, well, apparently, neither does anyone else. 276 00:16:27,836 --> 00:16:30,066 - Sheldon, we have to go. - Why? 277 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,207 We're late for Leonard's birthday party... 278 00:16:32,374 --> 00:16:34,899 ...and for another, I told him to call security. 279 00:16:36,178 --> 00:16:38,112 Good luck. 280 00:16:39,815 --> 00:16:42,181 By the way, a 6-year-old could hack your computer. 281 00:16:42,351 --> 00:16:43,375 Keep walking. 282 00:16:43,552 --> 00:16:46,544 Yeah, 1234 is not a secure password. 283 00:16:48,891 --> 00:16:51,451 My friend is having allergic reaction to peanuts. 284 00:16:51,627 --> 00:16:53,993 - No, he's not. - Yes, he is. 285 00:16:54,163 --> 00:16:56,495 Look, sir, we are very busy here and I just don't-- 286 00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:58,599 Holy crap. 287 00:16:59,835 --> 00:17:02,065 Please help me. 288 00:17:02,504 --> 00:17:04,096 Code four. I need a gurney. 289 00:17:05,307 --> 00:17:08,299 - Right away, right away. - Thank you. 290 00:17:11,814 --> 00:17:14,339 Say what you will about healthcare in this country... 291 00:17:14,516 --> 00:17:18,179 ...but when they're afraid of lawsuits, they sure test everything. 292 00:17:18,554 --> 00:17:22,285 I really don't think the colonoscopy was necessary. 293 00:17:24,093 --> 00:17:25,560 Before you got all swollen up... 294 00:17:25,728 --> 00:17:28,526 ...I thought you're trying to keep me out of the apartment... 295 00:17:28,697 --> 00:17:30,790 ...so you could throw me a surprise party. 296 00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:32,627 Oh, right, it's your birthday. 297 00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:34,996 I had no idea it was your birthday. I forgot. 298 00:17:35,170 --> 00:17:38,799 What a lousy way to spend a birthday. Well, it's all over now. 299 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,801 There is a party, isn't there? 300 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,675 Maybe. 301 00:17:46,849 --> 00:17:48,180 Howard. 302 00:17:49,251 --> 00:17:52,414 - Are you mad? - How could I be mad? 303 00:17:52,588 --> 00:17:56,149 You actually risked your life because you care about me. 304 00:17:57,626 --> 00:17:59,992 Yeah, that's why I did it. 305 00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:05,366 All right, here we go. 306 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,997 My first birthday party. 307 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:21,672 Dude, everybody left an hour ago. 308 00:18:24,319 --> 00:18:26,014 Surprise. 309 00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:33,150 Okay, Leonard... 310 00:18:33,328 --> 00:18:34,761 ...here I am at your birthday party. 311 00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:38,525 I don't know where you are, dude, but it's really kickass. 312 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:42,727 Everyone is very, very drunk and-- Ooh, mmm. 313 00:18:44,106 --> 00:18:47,439 Oh, and look, there's a girl taking her shirt off. 314 00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:50,339 That' s my friend Carol. 315 00:18:50,512 --> 00:18:53,447 Remind me, I gotta introduce her to Howard. 316 00:18:53,615 --> 00:18:58,177 Oh, sweet Krishna, shake that rupee maker. 317 00:18:59,288 --> 00:19:04,191 - I'm so sorry you didn't get your party. - It's okay. 318 00:19:05,427 --> 00:19:07,861 Well, happy birthday anyways. 319 00:19:15,003 --> 00:19:18,564 Hey, Penny, when's your birthday?