1 00:00:01,551 --> 00:00:03,917 Ooh, more details about the new Star Trek film. 2 00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:08,251 There's going to be a scene depicting Spock's birth. 3 00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:12,020 I'd be more interested in a scene depicting Spock's conception. 4 00:00:12,696 --> 00:00:18,157 Oh, please. For Vulcans, mating, or, if you will, Pon farr... 5 00:00:18,334 --> 00:00:21,667 - ...it's an extremely private matter. - I'd like to know the details. 6 00:00:21,838 --> 00:00:24,830 His mother was human. His father was Vulcan. They couldn't conceive. 7 00:00:25,008 --> 00:00:28,102 Maybe they had to go to a clinic. Can you imagine Spock's dad... 8 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:31,975 ...with a copy of Pointy Ears and Shapely Rears? 9 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:36,313 How come on Star Trek everybody's private parts are the same? 10 00:00:36,486 --> 00:00:41,116 No alien lady ever told Captain Kirk, "Hey, get your thing out of my nose." 11 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,317 Hi. Can you help me? 12 00:00:44,494 --> 00:00:46,792 I was writing an e-mail and the A key got stuck. 13 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:49,625 Now it's just going, "Aaaah." 14 00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:52,127 - What'd you spill on it? - Nothing. 15 00:00:53,169 --> 00:00:54,466 Diet Coke. 16 00:00:55,739 --> 00:00:57,707 And yogurt. 17 00:00:57,874 --> 00:00:59,136 And a little nail polish. 18 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,936 I'll take a look at it. 19 00:01:01,111 --> 00:01:03,875 Gentlemen, switching to local nerd news... 20 00:01:04,047 --> 00:01:06,982 ...Fishman, Chen, Chaudury and McNair aren't fielding a team... 21 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,015 ...in the Physics Bowl this year. 22 00:01:09,185 --> 00:01:12,052 - You're kidding. Why not? - They formed a barbershop quartet... 23 00:01:12,222 --> 00:01:15,385 ...and got a gig playing Knott's Berry Farm. 24 00:01:16,059 --> 00:01:20,758 Wow. So in your world, you're like the cool guys. 25 00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,659 Recognize. 26 00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:26,969 This is our year. With those guys out... 27 00:01:27,137 --> 00:01:29,833 ...the entire Physics Bowl will kneel before Zod. 28 00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:32,736 - Zod? - Kryptonian villain. Long story. 29 00:01:32,909 --> 00:01:34,240 Good story. 30 00:01:37,614 --> 00:01:39,844 - Count me out. - What? Why? 31 00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:43,213 You want me to use my intelligence in a tawdry competition? 32 00:01:43,787 --> 00:01:46,984 Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary? 33 00:01:47,223 --> 00:01:50,283 Would you ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? 34 00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:53,686 Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish? 35 00:01:54,898 --> 00:01:57,662 Come on, you need a four-person team. We're four people. 36 00:01:57,834 --> 00:02:00,826 By that reasoning we should also play bridge, hold up a huppah... 37 00:02:01,004 --> 00:02:03,939 ...and enter the Olympic bobsled competition. 38 00:02:04,107 --> 00:02:06,098 Tickets to that, please. 39 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:11,044 Sheldon, what? Do I need to quote Spock's dying words to you? 40 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,306 No, don't. 41 00:02:13,183 --> 00:02:14,912 "The needs of the many--" 42 00:02:15,084 --> 00:02:17,109 "Outweigh the needs of the few--" 43 00:02:17,287 --> 00:02:19,152 "Or the one." 44 00:02:19,322 --> 00:02:21,381 Damn it, I'll do it. 45 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,779 Okay, first order of Physics Bowl business. 46 00:02:50,553 --> 00:02:53,989 We need a truly kick-ass team name. Suggestions? 47 00:02:54,157 --> 00:02:57,524 How about the Perpetual Motion Squad? 48 00:02:57,827 --> 00:03:01,820 It's beyond the laws of physics, plus a little heads up for the ladies. 49 00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:04,995 - The ladies? - Perpetual Motion Squad... 50 00:03:05,168 --> 00:03:07,500 ...we can go all night. 51 00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:09,535 - I like it. - I don't. 52 00:03:09,706 --> 00:03:12,231 Teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures... 53 00:03:12,408 --> 00:03:14,535 ...thus intimidating one's opponent. 54 00:03:14,711 --> 00:03:16,201 We could be the Bengal Tigers. 55 00:03:16,379 --> 00:03:18,347 Poor choice. Gram for gram... 56 00:03:18,514 --> 00:03:22,610 ...no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the army ant. 57 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:27,450 Maybe so, but you can't incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass. 58 00:03:31,060 --> 00:03:32,152 Let's put it to a vote. 59 00:03:32,328 --> 00:03:34,159 - All those in favor-- - Point of order. 60 00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:36,525 I move that any vote on team names be unanimous. 61 00:03:36,699 --> 00:03:39,497 No man should be forced to emblazon his chest with a Bengal tiger... 62 00:03:39,669 --> 00:03:43,161 ...when common sense dictates it should be an army ant. 63 00:03:43,339 --> 00:03:46,672 Will the gentleman from the great state of denial yield for a question? 64 00:03:47,277 --> 00:03:49,677 - I will yield. - After we go through the exercise... 65 00:03:49,846 --> 00:03:52,940 ...of an annoying series of votes, which the gentleman will lose... 66 00:03:53,116 --> 00:03:55,550 ...does he intend to quit if he does not get his way? 67 00:03:55,718 --> 00:03:59,085 - He does. - We are the Army Ants. All those in favor? 68 00:04:00,924 --> 00:04:04,485 Good afternoon and welcome to today's Physics Bowl practice round. 69 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,686 I'm Penny, and I'll be your host because... 70 00:04:06,863 --> 00:04:09,764 ...I didn't have anything else to do on a Saturday afternoon... 71 00:04:09,933 --> 00:04:12,527 ...and isn't that just a little sad? 72 00:04:14,103 --> 00:04:15,661 - Gentlemen, are you ready? - Yes. 73 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:17,931 - Fire away. - It's none of my business... 74 00:04:18,107 --> 00:04:21,338 ...but is a guy who can't speak in front of women gonna hold you back? 75 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:24,207 Oh, he'll be okay once the women are mixed into the crowd. 76 00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:27,907 He only has a problem when they're one-on-one and smell nice. 77 00:04:28,084 --> 00:04:30,416 Oh, thanks, Raj. It's vanilla oil. 78 00:04:30,753 --> 00:04:34,018 I was actually the one who noticed. Okay, let's just start. 79 00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:36,988 Okay, the first question is on the topic of optics. 80 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,060 "What is the shortest light pulse ever produced?" 81 00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:43,797 - Dr. Cooper. - Of course, the answer is 130 attoseconds. 82 00:04:43,967 --> 00:04:46,026 - That is correct. - I knew that too. 83 00:04:46,903 --> 00:04:49,667 Good for you, sweetie. Okay, next question. 84 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:53,400 "What is the quantum-mechanical effect used to encode data on hard-disk drives?" 85 00:04:54,811 --> 00:04:58,076 - Howard? - The answer is giant magnetoresistance. 86 00:04:58,247 --> 00:05:00,306 - Right. - Hey, I buzzed in. 87 00:05:00,483 --> 00:05:03,043 And I answered. It's called teamwork. 88 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:08,282 Don't you think I should answer engineering questions? I am an engineer. 89 00:05:08,758 --> 00:05:13,286 By that logic, I should answer anthropology questions because I'm a mammal. 90 00:05:15,631 --> 00:05:17,098 Just ask another one. 91 00:05:17,266 --> 00:05:18,392 Okay. 92 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:22,902 "What artificial satellite has seen glimpses of Einstein's predicted 'frame dragging'?" 93 00:05:24,273 --> 00:05:26,400 And, of course, it's Gravity Probe B. 94 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,306 Sheldon, you have to let somebody else answer. 95 00:05:29,479 --> 00:05:31,777 - Why? - Because it's polite. 96 00:05:32,148 --> 00:05:35,743 What do manners have to do with it? This is war. 97 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,819 Were the Romans polite when they salted Carthage... 98 00:05:38,988 --> 00:05:41,456 ...to make sure nothing would ever grow again? 99 00:05:42,058 --> 00:05:45,289 Leonard, you said I only had to ask questions. 100 00:05:46,996 --> 00:05:49,226 The objective is to give correct answers. 101 00:05:49,399 --> 00:05:51,367 If I know them, why shouldn't I give them? 102 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:54,297 Some of us might have the correct answers too. 103 00:05:54,470 --> 00:05:57,200 - Please. You don't even have a Ph.D. - All right, that's it. 104 00:05:57,373 --> 00:05:59,671 - Howard, sit down. - Okay. 105 00:06:01,044 --> 00:06:04,138 - We should take a little break. - Good idea. I need my wrist brace. 106 00:06:04,313 --> 00:06:07,612 All this button pushing is aggravating my old Nintendo injury. 107 00:06:08,985 --> 00:06:10,009 I agree. 108 00:06:10,186 --> 00:06:11,210 What did he say? 109 00:06:11,654 --> 00:06:16,353 He compared Sheldon to a disposable feminine cleansing product... 110 00:06:16,526 --> 00:06:19,154 ...one might use on a summer's eve. 111 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,959 Yeah, and the bag it came in. 112 00:06:27,837 --> 00:06:29,998 Leonard, excellent. I wanna show you something. 113 00:06:30,173 --> 00:06:32,038 Can it wait? I need to talk to you. 114 00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:35,336 Just look. I've designed the perfect uniforms for our team. 115 00:06:35,511 --> 00:06:38,071 The Original Series. 116 00:06:38,247 --> 00:06:42,513 The three of you will wear support red and I will wear command gold. 117 00:06:43,419 --> 00:06:44,909 Why do they say "AA"? 118 00:06:45,521 --> 00:06:46,647 Army Ants. 119 00:06:47,957 --> 00:06:51,825 Isn't that confusing? AA might mean something else to certain people. 120 00:06:52,762 --> 00:06:56,562 Why would a Physics Bowl team be called Anodized Aluminum? 121 00:06:56,899 --> 00:06:57,923 No, I meant-- 122 00:06:59,268 --> 00:07:00,895 Never mind. 123 00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,765 Hey, check it out. 124 00:07:02,939 --> 00:07:06,067 I got you a Batman cookie jar. 125 00:07:06,242 --> 00:07:09,336 Oh, neat. What's the occasion? 126 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:12,606 Well, you're a friend and you like Batman and cookies... 127 00:07:12,782 --> 00:07:14,272 ...and you're off the team. 128 00:07:17,787 --> 00:07:19,015 What? 129 00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:21,520 Howard, Raj and l just had a team meeting. 130 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,852 - You didn't. - We did. I just came from there. 131 00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:27,518 I don't know where you just came from. It couldn't have been a team meeting. 132 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:31,599 I'm on the team and I wasn't there. Ergo, the team did not meet. 133 00:07:32,168 --> 00:07:34,898 Okay, let me try it this way. 134 00:07:35,071 --> 00:07:37,801 I was at a coffee klatch with a couple of friends... 135 00:07:37,974 --> 00:07:41,705 ...and one thing led to another and, it turns out, you're off the team. 136 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,806 - Why? - Because you're taking all the fun out of it. 137 00:07:45,982 --> 00:07:49,941 I'm sorry, is the winner of the Physics Bowl the team that has the most fun? 138 00:07:50,119 --> 00:07:51,746 Okay. Let me try it this way. 139 00:07:51,921 --> 00:07:55,618 You're annoying and no one wants to play with you anymore. 140 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,055 I see. 141 00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:05,394 Well, at this point I should inform you that I intend to form my own team... 142 00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:08,935 ...and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together... 143 00:08:09,105 --> 00:08:13,201 ...and reduce the resulting particulate chaos to tears. 144 00:08:14,944 --> 00:08:16,673 Thanks for the heads up. 145 00:08:17,380 --> 00:08:19,109 You're welcome. 146 00:08:20,183 --> 00:08:21,582 - One more thing. - Yes? 147 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,776 It's on, bitch. 148 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,689 - So who did he get to be on his team? - He won't say. 149 00:08:35,865 --> 00:08:39,699 He just smiles and eats macaroons out of his Bat-Jar. 150 00:08:40,536 --> 00:08:44,302 He's using psychological warfare. We must reply in kind. 151 00:08:44,473 --> 00:08:47,135 I say we wait until he looks at us, then laugh like: 152 00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:49,676 "Yes, you are a smart and strong competitor. 153 00:08:49,845 --> 00:08:51,472 But we are also smart and strong... 154 00:08:51,647 --> 00:08:55,083 ...and we have a reasonable chance of defeating you." 155 00:08:56,552 --> 00:08:58,486 How exactly would that laugh go? 156 00:09:00,256 --> 00:09:03,157 Hee-hee-hee! 157 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:04,650 That sounds more like: 158 00:09:04,827 --> 00:09:10,356 "We are a tall, thin woman who wants to make a coat out of your dalmatians." 159 00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:15,062 Guys, let's remember that Sheldon is still our friend and my roommate. 160 00:09:15,238 --> 00:09:16,262 So? 161 00:09:16,906 --> 00:09:18,931 So nothing. Let's destroy him. 162 00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:21,734 Gentlemen. 163 00:09:21,911 --> 00:09:24,243 Hee-hee-hee! 164 00:09:29,285 --> 00:09:31,845 Okay, we're gonna need a strong fourth for our team. 165 00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:35,821 You know who is apparently very smart is the girl who played TV's Blossom. 166 00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,760 She got a Ph.D. in neuroscience or something. 167 00:09:39,929 --> 00:09:44,025 Raj, we're not getting TV's Blossom to join our Physics Bowl team. 168 00:09:45,868 --> 00:09:48,132 How about the girl from The Wonder Years? 169 00:09:49,772 --> 00:09:53,503 Gentlemen, I believe I've found the solution to all our problems. 170 00:09:55,878 --> 00:09:57,607 We can't ask Leslie Winkle. 171 00:09:57,780 --> 00:09:59,372 Why? Because you slept together... 172 00:09:59,548 --> 00:10:03,348 ...and when she was done with you, she discarded you like last night's chutney? 173 00:10:07,056 --> 00:10:08,546 Yes. 174 00:10:09,325 --> 00:10:13,284 - You gotta take one for the team. - Yeah. Sack up, dude. 175 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,289 Fine. 176 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,860 Here I go, taking one for the team... 177 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,061 ...in the sack. 178 00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:26,637 - Hey, Leslie. - Hi, guys. 179 00:10:26,809 --> 00:10:29,141 Ahem. So, Leslie, I have a question for you... 180 00:10:29,312 --> 00:10:33,373 ...and it might be a little awkward, you know, given that I-- 181 00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:35,744 Hit that thing. 182 00:10:38,421 --> 00:10:42,118 There's no reason to feel uncomfortable because we've seen each other's faces... 183 00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:45,818 ...and naked bodies contorted in the sweet agony of coitus. 184 00:10:47,363 --> 00:10:51,163 There's not? Gee, because it sure sounds like there should be. 185 00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:55,767 Any aspects of our sexual relationship, regarding your preferences... 186 00:10:55,938 --> 00:10:59,374 ...your idiosyncrasies, your performance, are protected by the inherent... 187 00:10:59,542 --> 00:11:02,636 - ...confidentiality of the bedroom. - That's all very comforting... 188 00:11:02,812 --> 00:11:04,677 ...but I'd like to get on my question now. 189 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,410 - Proceed. - We are entering the Physics Bowl... 190 00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:10,677 - ...and we need a fourth. - No, thanks. 191 00:11:10,853 --> 00:11:14,016 I'm really busy with my like-sign dilepton supersymmetry search. 192 00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:17,091 Dilepton shmylepton, we need you. 193 00:11:17,860 --> 00:11:19,020 Sorry. 194 00:11:19,995 --> 00:11:21,519 Well, we tried. 195 00:11:21,697 --> 00:11:26,031 We'll just have to face Sheldon mano y mano y mano a mano. 196 00:11:26,202 --> 00:11:28,466 Wait, you're going up against Sheldon Cooper? 197 00:11:28,637 --> 00:11:31,162 - Yes. - That arrogant, misogynistic... 198 00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:35,140 ...doorknob that told me I should abandon my work with high-energy particles... 199 00:11:35,311 --> 00:11:38,576 ...for laundry and childbearing? 200 00:11:40,850 --> 00:11:42,477 She's in. 201 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,551 So how do you feel? 202 00:11:46,722 --> 00:11:49,714 Nice and loose? Come to play? Got your game face on? 203 00:11:51,227 --> 00:11:52,922 - Are you ready? - Oh. 204 00:11:53,095 --> 00:11:55,893 Yeah. You don't have to stay for the whole thing. 205 00:11:56,065 --> 00:11:58,761 Oh, no, no, I want to. Sounds really interesting. 206 00:11:58,934 --> 00:11:59,958 Okay. 207 00:12:05,775 --> 00:12:07,208 - Gentlemen. - Sheldon. 208 00:12:07,376 --> 00:12:10,504 - Sheldon. - Hee-hee-hee. 209 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,744 Sheldon. 210 00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:17,217 I'm just gonna sit down. 211 00:12:20,923 --> 00:12:22,515 So is that your team? 212 00:12:22,892 --> 00:12:24,291 Actually, I don't need a team. 213 00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:28,419 I could easily defeat you single-handedly, but the rules require four. 214 00:12:28,597 --> 00:12:32,897 So may I introduce the third-floor janitor, the lady from the lunch room and-- 215 00:12:33,068 --> 00:12:36,970 My Spanish is not good. --either her son or her butcher. 216 00:12:37,606 --> 00:12:38,834 And what about your team? 217 00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:42,034 What rat have you recruited to the S.S. Sinking Ship? 218 00:12:42,211 --> 00:12:44,270 Hello, Sheldon. 219 00:12:46,949 --> 00:12:47,973 Leslie Winkle. 220 00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:50,641 Yeah, Leslie Winkle. The answer to the question: 221 00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:53,550 "Who made Sheldon Cooper cry like a little girl?" 222 00:12:54,457 --> 00:12:58,655 Yes, well, I'm polymerized tree sap, and you're an inorganic adhesive. 223 00:12:58,828 --> 00:13:02,628 So whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me... 224 00:13:02,798 --> 00:13:06,029 ...returns on its original trajectory, and adheres to you. 225 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:08,996 Oh, ouch. 226 00:13:09,472 --> 00:13:12,134 Okay, if everyone could please take your seats? 227 00:13:20,115 --> 00:13:22,015 Here's your T-shirt. 228 00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:26,453 PMS? 229 00:13:26,622 --> 00:13:28,681 It's a couple days early. 230 00:13:28,858 --> 00:13:30,382 No. 231 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,255 It stands for Perpetual Motion Squad. 232 00:13:33,429 --> 00:13:35,420 Oh, right, of course. What was I thinking? 233 00:13:37,299 --> 00:13:42,532 Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome to this year's Physics Bowl. 234 00:13:43,839 --> 00:13:47,331 Today's preliminary match features two great teams: 235 00:13:47,776 --> 00:13:52,679 AA versus PMS. 236 00:13:52,848 --> 00:13:54,839 All night long, y'all. 237 00:13:59,288 --> 00:14:02,416 Okay, well, let's jump right in. First question. 238 00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:07,927 For 10 points. "What is the isospin singlet partner of the pi-zero meson?" 239 00:14:09,365 --> 00:14:11,196 - PMS? - The eta meson. 240 00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:12,629 Correct. 241 00:14:14,537 --> 00:14:16,095 - Formal protest. - On what grounds? 242 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,400 The Velcro on my wrist brace caught on my shirt. 243 00:14:19,575 --> 00:14:22,544 Denied. All right, for 10 points. 244 00:14:22,711 --> 00:14:26,579 "What is the lightest element on Earth with no stable isotope?" 245 00:14:28,050 --> 00:14:30,109 - AA? - And, of course, the answer is technetium. 246 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,015 Terrific. 247 00:14:32,388 --> 00:14:35,949 Next question. "What is the force between two uncharged plates... 248 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,956 ...due to quantum vacuum fluctuation?" 249 00:14:39,328 --> 00:14:41,091 - PMS? - And Sheldon can suck on... 250 00:14:41,263 --> 00:14:43,128 - ...the Casimir effect. - Correct. 251 00:14:48,604 --> 00:14:51,437 "How does a quantum computer factor large numbers?" 252 00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,400 - PMS? - Shor's algorithm. 253 00:14:54,577 --> 00:14:55,601 Correct. 254 00:14:59,615 --> 00:15:02,948 Four-point-one-eight-five-five times 10 to the seventh ergs per calorie. 255 00:15:03,118 --> 00:15:05,052 Prévost's theory of exchanges. 256 00:15:05,254 --> 00:15:07,552 Lambda equals one over pi-R-squared N. 257 00:15:07,723 --> 00:15:09,588 Seven hundred and sixty degrees Celsius. 258 00:15:09,758 --> 00:15:12,818 The approximate temperature of the young lady in the front row. 259 00:15:13,862 --> 00:15:15,830 Mr. Wolowitz, this is your second warning. 260 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,897 A sigma particle. 261 00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:22,469 Yes, assuming the hypothetical planet has a mass greater than the Earth. 262 00:15:22,638 --> 00:15:24,265 Correct. 263 00:15:28,911 --> 00:15:32,813 Ladies and gentlemen, I hold in my hand the final question. 264 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:40,220 The score now stands, AA, 1150, PMS, 1175. 265 00:15:40,389 --> 00:15:43,722 So for 100 points and the match... 266 00:15:43,892 --> 00:15:48,386 ...please turn your attention to the formula on the screens. 267 00:15:48,564 --> 00:15:50,293 Solve the equation. 268 00:15:52,067 --> 00:15:53,864 Holy crap. 269 00:15:55,337 --> 00:15:56,497 What the hell is that? 270 00:15:56,672 --> 00:16:00,335 It looks like something they found on the ship at Roswell. 271 00:16:00,509 --> 00:16:04,172 - Come on, think. Leslie? - It's not gonna work if you rush me. 272 00:16:04,346 --> 00:16:08,146 - You have to let me get there. - You are never gonna let that go, are you? 273 00:16:08,317 --> 00:16:09,545 Ten seconds. 274 00:16:14,189 --> 00:16:15,520 PMS? 275 00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,718 Sorry, I panicked. 276 00:16:19,595 --> 00:16:20,823 Then guess. 277 00:16:20,996 --> 00:16:22,623 Um.... 278 00:16:23,532 --> 00:16:25,261 Eight. 279 00:16:28,771 --> 00:16:31,399 Point four. 280 00:16:31,774 --> 00:16:33,799 I'm sorry, that's incorrect. 281 00:16:33,976 --> 00:16:37,935 AA, if you can answer correctly, the match is yours. 282 00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:44,381 He doesn't have it. He's got squat. 283 00:16:53,562 --> 00:16:55,621 AA, I need your answer. 284 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,961 The answer is minus eight pi alpha. 285 00:17:00,135 --> 00:17:02,069 Hang on a second. That's not our answer. 286 00:17:02,237 --> 00:17:04,205 - What are you doing? - Answering question. 287 00:17:04,373 --> 00:17:06,568 Winning Physics Bowl. 288 00:17:08,043 --> 00:17:10,011 How do you know anything about physics? 289 00:17:10,179 --> 00:17:14,582 Here, I am janitor. In former Soviet Union, I am physicist. 290 00:17:15,084 --> 00:17:16,881 Leningrad Politechnika. 291 00:17:17,386 --> 00:17:19,217 Go, Polar Bears. 292 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,648 That's a delightful little story. 293 00:17:23,826 --> 00:17:26,090 Our arrangement was you sit and not say anything. 294 00:17:26,261 --> 00:17:28,786 - I answer the questions. - You didn't answer question. 295 00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:32,229 Hey, look. Now, maybe you have democracy now in your beloved Russia... 296 00:17:32,401 --> 00:17:35,268 ...but on this Physics Bowl team, I rule with an iron fist. 297 00:17:35,437 --> 00:17:36,734 Ow! 298 00:17:37,406 --> 00:17:39,397 AA, I need your official answer. 299 00:17:39,575 --> 00:17:41,634 - It's not what he said. - Then what is it? 300 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,971 - I want a different question. - You can't. 301 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,340 - Formal protest. - Denied. 302 00:17:45,514 --> 00:17:46,981 Informal protest. 303 00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:49,342 Denied. 304 00:17:49,518 --> 00:17:52,612 - I need your official answer. - No, I decline to provide one. 305 00:17:52,788 --> 00:17:56,087 That's too bad because the answer your teammate gave was correct. 306 00:17:57,559 --> 00:17:59,993 That's your opinion. 307 00:18:02,197 --> 00:18:04,757 - All right, the winner of the match is-- - Hang on. 308 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:09,729 Sheldon, is proving you are single-handedly smarter than everyone else so important... 309 00:18:09,905 --> 00:18:13,363 ...that you would rather lose by yourself than win as part of a team? 310 00:18:14,910 --> 00:18:16,844 I didn't understand the question. 311 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,771 - Go ahead. - The winner is PMS. 312 00:18:58,787 --> 00:19:00,982 Sorry, somebody's sitting there. 313 00:19:01,490 --> 00:19:05,620 - Who? - My Physics Bowl trophy. 314 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:10,661 That trophy is meaningless. I forfeited, therefore you did not win. 315 00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:12,892 - I know someone who would disagree. - Who? 316 00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:15,400 My Physics Bowl trophy. 317 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,767 "Leonard is so smart. 318 00:19:18,941 --> 00:19:21,603 - Sheldon who?" - All right, that is just very immature. 319 00:19:21,777 --> 00:19:22,937 You're right. I'm sorry. 320 00:19:23,111 --> 00:19:25,409 "I'm not!" 321 00:19:26,548 --> 00:19:29,210 - Okay, new contest. - What are you doing? 322 00:19:29,384 --> 00:19:33,548 I am settling, once and for all, who is the smartest around here. 323 00:19:33,722 --> 00:19:35,349 - Okay? Are you ready? - Absolutely. 324 00:19:35,524 --> 00:19:36,991 - Bring it on. - Okay. 325 00:19:37,626 --> 00:19:41,790 "Marsha, Jan and Cindy were the three daughters in what TV family?" 326 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:47,326 The Brady Bunch. 327 00:19:48,370 --> 00:19:50,099 Okay. 328 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:54,106 "Sammy Hagar replaced David Lee Roth as the lead singer in what group?" 329 00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,812 The Brady Bunch? 330 00:20:02,918 --> 00:20:03,942 Van Halen. 331 00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:08,116 All right. "Madonna was married to this Ridgemont High alum." 332 00:20:10,425 --> 00:20:12,655 Oh, my God. Sean Penn. 333 00:20:12,828 --> 00:20:15,228 How do you know these things? 334 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,998 I go outside and I talk to people. 335 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,497 Okay, here. "What actor holds the record... 336 00:20:22,671 --> 00:20:25,504 ...for being named People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive?" 337 00:20:25,874 --> 00:20:28,399 - William Shatner. - Wait. 338 00:20:30,279 --> 00:20:32,076 I don't think it's Shatner. 339 00:20:32,247 --> 00:20:34,511 Then it's gotta be Patrick Stewart. 340 00:20:37,286 --> 00:20:40,153 - No. - Formal protest. 341 00:20:41,723 --> 00:20:44,851 All right. "Singer who sang 'Oops!... I Did It Again'?" 342 00:20:49,798 --> 00:20:51,265 Okay. 343 00:20:52,134 --> 00:20:54,932 "Tweety bird thought he saw a what?" 344 00:20:58,974 --> 00:21:00,874 Romulan. 345 00:21:04,446 --> 00:21:08,007 Yes. He thought he saw a Romulan.