1 00:00:05,955 --> 00:00:09,049 Here's the problem with teleportation. 2 00:00:11,795 --> 00:00:13,729 Lay it on me. 3 00:00:13,897 --> 00:00:15,660 Assuming a device could be invented... 4 00:00:15,832 --> 00:00:19,495 ...which would identify the state of matter of an individual in one location... 5 00:00:19,669 --> 00:00:22,502 ...and transmit that to a distant location for reassembly... 6 00:00:22,672 --> 00:00:24,936 ...you wouldn't have transported the individual... 7 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:30,239 ...you would have destroyed him in one location and re-created him in another. 8 00:00:31,314 --> 00:00:33,441 How about that. 9 00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:35,877 I would never use a transporter. 10 00:00:36,052 --> 00:00:38,714 The original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated... 11 00:00:38,888 --> 00:00:41,618 ...in order to create a new Sheldon. 12 00:00:42,092 --> 00:00:46,153 Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon? 13 00:00:47,097 --> 00:00:49,361 No, he would be exactly the same. 14 00:00:49,532 --> 00:00:51,432 That is a problem. 15 00:00:51,601 --> 00:00:52,829 So you see it too? 16 00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:55,930 Dr. Hofstadter, Dr. Cooper. 17 00:00:56,106 --> 00:00:57,300 Dr. Gablehauser. 18 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,840 Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Dennis Kim. 19 00:01:00,009 --> 00:01:02,842 Dennis is a highly sought-after doctoral candidate. 20 00:01:03,012 --> 00:01:05,139 We're hoping to have him do graduate work here. 21 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:08,580 - Graduate work, very impressive. - And he's only 15 years old. 22 00:01:08,752 --> 00:01:12,620 Not bad. I myself started graduate school at 14. 23 00:01:12,789 --> 00:01:16,281 Well, I lost a year while my family was tunneling out of North Korea. 24 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,459 Advantage, Kim. 25 00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:24,057 I thought maybe you could show Dennis around. 26 00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:27,601 Let him see why we're the best physics research facility in the country. 27 00:01:27,771 --> 00:01:28,795 I know you're not. 28 00:01:28,972 --> 00:01:32,305 You don't have an Open Science Grid computer or a free electron laser. 29 00:01:32,475 --> 00:01:35,035 The string theory research being done is a dead end. 30 00:01:35,211 --> 00:01:38,942 Excuse me, that is my research, and it is by no means a dead end. 31 00:01:39,115 --> 00:01:42,141 Well, obviously, you don't see it yet, but trust me, you will. 32 00:01:44,921 --> 00:01:46,513 Dennis, we've discussed this. 33 00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:49,055 We're in the process of updating our equipment. 34 00:01:49,225 --> 00:01:51,386 We welcome your input on our research goals. 35 00:01:51,561 --> 00:01:54,121 We agree to look the other way if you use 20 percent... 36 00:01:54,297 --> 00:01:57,664 ...of the money you attract to smuggle your grandfather out of Pyongyang. 37 00:01:59,335 --> 00:02:01,462 We want him here, boys. 38 00:02:01,638 --> 00:02:03,105 - Make it happen. - Yes, sir. 39 00:02:03,273 --> 00:02:05,138 You can count on us. We're on it. 40 00:02:05,308 --> 00:02:07,572 What the hell do you mean, "dead end"? 41 00:02:08,011 --> 00:02:10,946 I mean, the whole landscape of false vacuums in string theory... 42 00:02:11,114 --> 00:02:13,446 ...could be as large as 10 to the 500th power. 43 00:02:13,616 --> 00:02:14,640 In addition-- 44 00:02:14,818 --> 00:02:16,183 Ooh, look, chocolate milk. 45 00:02:19,189 --> 00:02:22,090 I sense a disturbance in the force. 46 00:02:22,258 --> 00:02:25,557 A bad feeling I have about this. Mm. 47 00:02:51,054 --> 00:02:52,817 So how long have you been in America? 48 00:02:52,989 --> 00:02:54,456 - A year and a half. - No kidding. 49 00:02:54,624 --> 00:02:57,855 - You speak English really well. - So do you. 50 00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:02,698 Except for your tendency to end sentences with prepositions. 51 00:03:02,966 --> 00:03:05,230 What are you talking about? 52 00:03:06,369 --> 00:03:08,269 That. 53 00:03:08,638 --> 00:03:09,935 He's not wrong. 54 00:03:10,974 --> 00:03:13,238 All right, and this is my office. 55 00:03:13,409 --> 00:03:15,809 - Is this part of the tour? - Nope. Goodbye. 56 00:03:16,913 --> 00:03:18,938 Sheldon, we've hardly shown him anything. 57 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:22,744 All right, this is my desk. These are my books. 58 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,683 This is my door. Please close it behind you, goodbye. 59 00:03:27,857 --> 00:03:30,189 You're doing work in quantum loop corrections. 60 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:34,854 - Keen observation, goodbye. - You see where you went wrong, don't you? 61 00:03:35,932 --> 00:03:37,229 - Leonard. - Ha. 62 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,198 - Yeah? - Get him out. 63 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:44,098 Come, I'll show you the rec center. They've got Nautilus equipment. 64 00:03:44,274 --> 00:03:46,037 Do I look like I lift weights? 65 00:03:47,277 --> 00:03:49,643 Not heavy ones. 66 00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:53,680 It's startling you haven't considered a Lorentz invariant or field theory approach. 67 00:03:54,617 --> 00:03:56,209 You think I haven't considered it? 68 00:03:56,386 --> 00:03:59,651 - You really think I haven't considered it? - Have you considered it? 69 00:04:01,357 --> 00:04:03,450 - Get him out, Leonard. - Come on, Dennis. 70 00:04:03,626 --> 00:04:06,424 I'll show you the radiation lab. 71 00:04:06,763 --> 00:04:08,856 Wow. You won the Stevenson Award? 72 00:04:09,232 --> 00:04:13,134 Yes. In fact, I am the youngest person ever to win it. 73 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,630 Really? How old? 74 00:04:15,805 --> 00:04:17,136 Fourteen and a half. 75 00:04:17,307 --> 00:04:19,400 Mm. You were the youngest ever to win it. 76 00:04:23,246 --> 00:04:25,714 It's like looking into an obnoxious mirror, isn't it? 77 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:33,682 Mm. This is really delicious, isn't it? 78 00:04:36,759 --> 00:04:40,058 Still can't talk to me unless you're drunk, huh? 79 00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:45,194 Oh, sweetie, you are so damaged. 80 00:04:46,169 --> 00:04:48,831 Hey, I'm damaged too. 81 00:04:49,005 --> 00:04:51,371 How about a hug for Howie? 82 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,738 Sure. Raj, hug Howard. 83 00:04:58,948 --> 00:05:00,438 Something you'd like to share? 84 00:05:01,517 --> 00:05:03,883 A tale of woe perhaps? 85 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,718 Fifteen years old. 86 00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:09,722 Dennis Kim is 15 years old and he's already correcting my work. 87 00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:13,760 Today, I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart to.... 88 00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:15,363 You know, that other guy. 89 00:05:15,531 --> 00:05:16,623 Antonio Salieri? 90 00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:20,128 Oh, God, now even you're smarter than me. 91 00:05:21,371 --> 00:05:25,740 You know, you don't have so many friends that you can afford to start insulting them. 92 00:05:26,876 --> 00:05:28,741 Just eat, Sheldon. You'll feel better. 93 00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:30,139 Why waste food? 94 00:05:30,313 --> 00:05:32,713 When a cow goes dry, they don't keep feeding it... 95 00:05:32,882 --> 00:05:36,215 ...they just take her out and shoot her between the eyes. 96 00:05:36,619 --> 00:05:40,419 I'm confused. Did Sheldon stop giving milk? 97 00:05:41,157 --> 00:05:42,886 You can't let this kid get to you. 98 00:05:43,059 --> 00:05:46,495 You knew that someday, someone would come along who's younger and smarter. 99 00:05:46,662 --> 00:05:49,358 Yes, but I assumed I would've been dead hundreds of years. 100 00:05:49,532 --> 00:05:53,059 And that there'd be an asterisk by his name because he'd be a cyborg. 101 00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:57,737 So you got a little competition. I really don't see what the big deal is. 102 00:05:57,907 --> 00:06:02,037 Of course you don't. You've never excelled at anything. 103 00:06:03,012 --> 00:06:06,743 I don't understand, exactly how did he get any friends in the first place? 104 00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:09,847 We liked Leonard. 105 00:06:11,587 --> 00:06:13,350 What are you gonna do, just give up? 106 00:06:13,856 --> 00:06:18,623 Yes, it's what a rational person does when his entire life's work is invalidated... 107 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,593 ...by a postpubescent Asian wunderkind. 108 00:06:22,231 --> 00:06:26,725 He ceases his fruitless efforts, he donates his body to scientific research... 109 00:06:26,903 --> 00:06:29,428 ...and he waits to die. 110 00:06:30,606 --> 00:06:35,475 I'm confused again. Is he waiting, or do we get to shoot him between the eyes? 111 00:06:38,114 --> 00:06:39,877 - Hey. - Hey. 112 00:06:40,049 --> 00:06:41,448 I've decided you're right. 113 00:06:41,617 --> 00:06:43,778 - My career is not over. - Great. 114 00:06:43,953 --> 00:06:46,979 But since Dennis Kim has rendered my research pointless... 115 00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:49,624 ...I just have to find something else to focus on. 116 00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:50,952 Great. 117 00:06:51,127 --> 00:06:53,721 So I've decided I'm going to collaborate with you. 118 00:06:56,933 --> 00:06:58,457 Great. 119 00:06:58,634 --> 00:07:00,465 So, what exactly is it you do? 120 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:05,531 I know you chatter on about it all the time, but I've never really paid attention. 121 00:07:06,275 --> 00:07:09,472 Right now, I'm designing an experiment to study the soft component... 122 00:07:09,645 --> 00:07:12,375 ...of cosmic radiation at sea level, but I don't need help. 123 00:07:12,548 --> 00:07:14,573 Oh, sure you do. 124 00:07:15,051 --> 00:07:17,713 Now see, what's this here in the schematic, a laser array? 125 00:07:17,887 --> 00:07:19,582 - Yes. - Now, hmm.... 126 00:07:22,925 --> 00:07:25,985 What happens if you use argon lasers instead of helium-neon? 127 00:07:26,395 --> 00:07:28,488 - It would blow up. - Are you sure? 128 00:07:28,998 --> 00:07:31,489 - Pretty sure. - "Pretty sure" is not very scientific. 129 00:07:31,667 --> 00:07:35,433 Is this how you normally work? Just hunches and guesses and stuff? 130 00:07:36,339 --> 00:07:37,465 Okay. 131 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,666 I understand that you're going through a bit of a career crisis. 132 00:07:40,843 --> 00:07:44,677 You're searching for some other area where you can feel valuable and productive. 133 00:07:44,847 --> 00:07:47,372 But I need to tell you something, and listen carefully. 134 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,849 - All right. - Go away. 135 00:07:53,189 --> 00:07:57,956 If you're concerned about sharing credit with me, your name can go first-- I'm going. 136 00:08:01,764 --> 00:08:04,198 It's a small brown paper bag, Ma. 137 00:08:04,367 --> 00:08:07,302 I'm looking at it right now. 138 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:12,166 Why would I make that up? There's no Ding Dong in it. 139 00:08:14,043 --> 00:08:18,207 How are two Ding Dongs tomorrow gonna help me today? 140 00:08:19,649 --> 00:08:22,743 So this is Engineering, huh? 141 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,046 I'll talk to you later. 142 00:08:25,221 --> 00:08:27,951 Engineering, where the noble semiskilled laborers... 143 00:08:28,124 --> 00:08:30,991 ...execute the vision of those who think and dream. 144 00:08:32,228 --> 00:08:34,253 Hello, Oompa Loompas of science. 145 00:08:36,732 --> 00:08:38,632 Sheldon, what are you doing here? 146 00:08:39,068 --> 00:08:41,059 I just came by to say hello. 147 00:08:41,237 --> 00:08:43,899 For three years, you've never come by to say hello. 148 00:08:44,073 --> 00:08:46,564 Well, up until now, I've had better things to do. 149 00:08:47,643 --> 00:08:49,634 So, what are we making today? 150 00:08:49,812 --> 00:08:54,044 A small payload support structure for a European science experimental package... 151 00:08:54,217 --> 00:08:57,744 - ...that's going up on the next space shuttle. - Really? How does it work? 152 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,047 It will be attached to the payload bay... 153 00:09:00,223 --> 00:09:03,784 ...and the sensor apparatus will rest on it. 154 00:09:04,193 --> 00:09:05,421 Ah-ha. 155 00:09:05,895 --> 00:09:08,363 So it's a shelf. 156 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:12,560 No, you don't understand. 157 00:09:12,735 --> 00:09:16,000 During acceleration, it needs to stay perfectly level and provide-- 158 00:09:16,172 --> 00:09:17,605 Yeah, okay, it's a shelf. 159 00:09:18,341 --> 00:09:19,865 I notice you're using titanium. 160 00:09:20,042 --> 00:09:22,408 Did you give any consideration to carbon nanotubes? 161 00:09:22,578 --> 00:09:25,513 They're lighter, cheaper and have twice the tensile strength. 162 00:09:25,681 --> 00:09:31,278 Sheldon, there's a diploma in my office that says I have a master's in engineering. 163 00:09:31,454 --> 00:09:35,288 And you also have a note from your mother that says, "I love you, Bubula." 164 00:09:37,126 --> 00:09:40,960 But neither of those is a cogent argument for titanium over nanotubes. 165 00:09:41,697 --> 00:09:42,959 - Sheldon. - Yes? 166 00:09:43,132 --> 00:09:45,293 Go away. 167 00:09:45,901 --> 00:09:47,459 Did Leonard tell you to say that? 168 00:09:48,037 --> 00:09:49,800 No, I thought of it all by myself. 169 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,841 Huh? Can't be a coincidence. 170 00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:58,469 There must be some causal link I'm missing. 171 00:10:00,716 --> 00:10:03,844 Go away. 172 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:14,326 Curiouser and curiouser. 173 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:22,231 - Is he here? - If he were, I wouldn't be. 174 00:10:22,405 --> 00:10:24,703 You know what he did? He watched me work... 175 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:29,368 ...and then started to design a simple piece of software that could replace me. 176 00:10:30,346 --> 00:10:31,779 Is that even possible? 177 00:10:31,947 --> 00:10:33,812 As it turns out, yes. 178 00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:38,111 - Something's gotta be done about him. - Like what? 179 00:10:38,287 --> 00:10:41,552 He'll never cope with the fact that some 15-year-old is smarter... 180 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,419 ...and more accomplished than he is. 181 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:48,187 What if something were to happen to him so he was no longer a threat to Sheldon? 182 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,200 Then our problem would be solved. 183 00:10:52,868 --> 00:10:55,598 Hang on, are we talking about murdering Dennis Kim? 184 00:10:56,872 --> 00:10:58,772 I'm not saying no. 185 00:10:59,642 --> 00:11:02,110 We don't have to go that far. There are other means. 186 00:11:02,611 --> 00:11:05,102 We can't send him back to North Korea. 187 00:11:05,281 --> 00:11:06,509 He knows how to get out. 188 00:11:08,984 --> 00:11:12,351 The only thing we need to do is make this Kim kid lose his focus. 189 00:11:12,521 --> 00:11:15,388 It won't happen. He is not interested in anything but physics. 190 00:11:15,558 --> 00:11:17,287 - What about biology? - What? 191 00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:20,452 You know, biology. 192 00:11:20,629 --> 00:11:23,530 The one thing that can completely derail a world-class mind. 193 00:11:23,699 --> 00:11:25,758 - Howard, he's 15. - Yeah, so? 194 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,698 When I was 15, I met Denise Palmeri... 195 00:11:27,870 --> 00:11:31,966 ...and my grade point average fell from a 5.0 to a 1.8. 196 00:11:32,141 --> 00:11:33,403 She was sleeping with you? 197 00:11:33,876 --> 00:11:38,506 No, I just wasted a lot of time thinking about what it would be like if she did. 198 00:11:39,815 --> 00:11:41,282 Oh, good, you're all here. 199 00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:45,716 I've decided that if the three of you drop whatever you're working on and join me... 200 00:11:45,888 --> 00:11:50,416 ...we could lick cold fusion in less than a decade, 12 years tops. 201 00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:53,652 Go away? 202 00:11:56,098 --> 00:11:57,326 Hmm. 203 00:11:57,867 --> 00:11:58,891 Could it be me? 204 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,163 Hey, guys, what's up? 205 00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:07,776 We need a hot 15-year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys. 206 00:12:08,711 --> 00:12:10,338 - What? - Howard, that's racist. 207 00:12:10,513 --> 00:12:14,176 Any 15-year-old girl will do the trick. 208 00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:22,946 It's possible she may have misunderstood us. 209 00:12:28,631 --> 00:12:31,794 - Dr. Cooper. Oh, are we interrupting? - No, no, please come in. 210 00:12:31,967 --> 00:12:34,435 I think you'll appreciate this. This is very exciting. 211 00:12:34,603 --> 00:12:36,798 - What are you working on? - Something remarkable. 212 00:12:36,972 --> 00:12:41,306 Since my prospects for the Nobel Prize in Physics have disappeared-- Thank you. 213 00:12:41,477 --> 00:12:44,913 --I've decided to refocus my efforts and use my people skills... 214 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,570 ...to win the Nobel Peace Prize. 215 00:12:46,749 --> 00:12:49,217 Look, I'm going to solve the Middle East crisis... 216 00:12:49,385 --> 00:12:54,220 ...by building an exact replica of Jerusalem in the middle of the Mexican desert. 217 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:55,881 To what end? 218 00:12:56,058 --> 00:13:00,461 You know, it's like the baseball movie. "Build it and they will come." 219 00:13:01,230 --> 00:13:02,254 Who will come? 220 00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:04,296 The Jewish people. 221 00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:05,729 What if they don't come? 222 00:13:05,901 --> 00:13:07,732 We'll make it nice, put out a spread. 223 00:13:09,238 --> 00:13:11,103 Okay, well, speaking of spreads... 224 00:13:11,273 --> 00:13:14,174 ...we're having a welcoming party this afternoon for Mr. Kim... 225 00:13:14,343 --> 00:13:18,245 - ...who's agreed to join us at the university. - Of course he has. 226 00:13:18,414 --> 00:13:22,441 The oracle told us little Neo was the one. 227 00:13:23,686 --> 00:13:25,278 You can see the matrix, can't you? 228 00:13:25,454 --> 00:13:30,221 Okay, well, obviously, you're very busy with your, ah, um.... 229 00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:31,416 Come, Dennis. 230 00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:37,161 You'll have to excuse Dr. Cooper. He's been under a lot of, um.... 231 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,494 He's nuts. 232 00:13:45,508 --> 00:13:49,205 They'll come, they'll settle And I'll win the prize 233 00:13:50,946 --> 00:13:53,642 I don't understand your objections, Professor Goldfarb. 234 00:13:53,816 --> 00:13:57,445 Why wouldn't the Sonora Desert make a perfectly good Promised Land? 235 00:13:58,220 --> 00:13:59,710 Go away. 236 00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:03,686 We could call it Nuevo Jerusalem. 237 00:14:04,527 --> 00:14:06,017 Please go away. 238 00:14:07,129 --> 00:14:09,290 Said Pharaoh to Moses. 239 00:14:10,533 --> 00:14:12,524 Why are all these young women here? 240 00:14:12,701 --> 00:14:14,532 It's Take Your Daughter to Work Day. 241 00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:16,628 Really? I was not aware of that. 242 00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:19,103 Oh, yes. There was a very official e-mail... 243 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,869 ...that was sent to everyone whose files indicated... 244 00:14:22,044 --> 00:14:24,877 ...they had daughters between the ages of 14 and 16. 245 00:14:25,214 --> 00:14:26,238 Hmm. 246 00:14:26,415 --> 00:14:28,474 - Smooth. - Thank you. 247 00:14:29,818 --> 00:14:32,787 There's the man of the hour. 248 00:14:33,355 --> 00:14:37,792 So we have a socially awkward genius in a room of attractive age-appropriate women. 249 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,689 All he has to do is hook up with one. 250 00:14:48,671 --> 00:14:52,004 Anyone else see the flaw in this plan? 251 00:14:52,508 --> 00:14:53,907 We need a social catalyst. 252 00:14:54,076 --> 00:14:57,978 Like what? We can't get 15-year-old girls drunk. 253 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:00,081 - Or can we? - No, we can't. 254 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:04,119 I don't think you mean we can't. I think you mean we shouldn't. 255 00:15:04,286 --> 00:15:06,948 Hey, Howard, you're a Jew. 256 00:15:07,122 --> 00:15:10,353 If there was another Wailing Wall exactly like the one in Jerusalem... 257 00:15:10,526 --> 00:15:13,222 ...but close to taco stands and cheap prescription drugs... 258 00:15:13,395 --> 00:15:15,056 ...would you still wail at it? 259 00:15:17,199 --> 00:15:19,463 Okay, it's definitely me. 260 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:24,138 We cannot leave this to chance. Let's pick a girl... 261 00:15:24,306 --> 00:15:26,536 ...and figure out how to get her with Dennis. 262 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:28,533 How about that one? 263 00:15:29,912 --> 00:15:33,439 Uh-uh. I know the type. Cheerleader, student council, goes out with jocks. 264 00:15:33,616 --> 00:15:35,777 Won't look at anybody in the gifted program. 265 00:15:35,951 --> 00:15:38,681 If she does agree to go out, it turns out to be a setup. 266 00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:42,722 You're in your mom's car with your pants off while the whole football team laughs. 267 00:15:46,261 --> 00:15:49,719 - Are you crying? - No, I have allergies. 268 00:15:50,766 --> 00:15:52,063 Okay. Uh.... 269 00:15:52,234 --> 00:15:54,259 Oh, hey, how about her? 270 00:15:54,970 --> 00:15:57,666 Sure, if he wants to spend years doing her homework... 271 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:01,071 ...while she drinks herself into a stupor with nonfat White Russians. 272 00:16:01,243 --> 00:16:03,643 And you're holding her head while she's puking... 273 00:16:03,812 --> 00:16:06,007 ...and wishes more guys were like you. 274 00:16:06,181 --> 00:16:08,547 She gets into Cornell, because you wrote her essay. 275 00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:12,915 And you drive up to visit her one weekend and she acts like she doesn't know you. 276 00:16:15,491 --> 00:16:17,254 Okay, so not her either. 277 00:16:18,927 --> 00:16:20,292 How about her? 278 00:16:20,462 --> 00:16:24,330 Interesting, kind of pretty, a little chubby, so probably low self-esteem. 279 00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:25,592 I think that's our girl. 280 00:16:25,768 --> 00:16:27,360 One of us should go talk to her. 281 00:16:27,536 --> 00:16:29,333 I can't talk to her, you do it. 282 00:16:29,505 --> 00:16:31,473 I can't just go up and talk to her. 283 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:32,800 Howard, you talk to her. 284 00:16:33,676 --> 00:16:37,339 I don't know, she'll never go for the kid once she gets a peek at this. 285 00:16:39,515 --> 00:16:41,107 In India, this would be simpler. 286 00:16:41,283 --> 00:16:44,480 Five minutes with her dad, 20 goats and a laptop, and we'd be done. 287 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,348 Well, we're not in India. 288 00:16:46,522 --> 00:16:48,285 Why don't we do it your way, then? 289 00:16:48,457 --> 00:16:53,827 We'll arrange for her to move in across the hall so he can pathetically moon over her. 290 00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:58,096 - Okay, that was uncalled for. - You started it, dude. 291 00:16:59,635 --> 00:17:01,796 Could I have everyone's attention, please? 292 00:17:02,538 --> 00:17:05,837 What a wonderful occasion this is. 293 00:17:06,008 --> 00:17:09,375 And how fortunate that it should fall on Take Your Daughter to Work Day. 294 00:17:10,813 --> 00:17:14,874 We're here to welcome Mr. Dennis Kim to our little family. 295 00:17:15,050 --> 00:17:17,314 Welcome, Dennis Kim. 296 00:17:18,253 --> 00:17:22,121 Mr. Kim was not only the valedictorian at Stanford University... 297 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:27,593 ...he is also the youngest recipient of the prestigious Stevenson Award. 298 00:17:27,763 --> 00:17:30,163 Youngest till the cyborgs rise up. 299 00:17:30,999 --> 00:17:32,933 And now, without any further ado... 300 00:17:33,102 --> 00:17:38,734 ...let me introduce the man of the hour, Mr. Dennis Kim. 301 00:17:39,842 --> 00:17:42,777 Dennis? Dennis. 302 00:17:42,945 --> 00:17:45,106 What? 303 00:17:45,881 --> 00:17:48,577 Would you like to tell us about your upcoming research? 304 00:17:48,751 --> 00:17:51,948 Oh, no, thanks. I'm going to the mall with Emma. 305 00:17:57,126 --> 00:17:59,594 The kid got a girl. 306 00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,724 Unbelievable. 307 00:18:01,897 --> 00:18:05,389 Did anyone see how he did it? 308 00:18:06,135 --> 00:18:07,568 Don't worry, I've got this. 309 00:18:07,736 --> 00:18:11,695 Ladies and gentlemen, honored daughters... 310 00:18:11,874 --> 00:18:15,037 ...while Mr. Kim, by virtue of his youth and naiveté... 311 00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:18,509 ...has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact... 312 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,480 ...let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted. 313 00:18:22,651 --> 00:18:27,782 And that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me. 314 00:18:28,423 --> 00:18:29,549 Thank you. 315 00:18:32,427 --> 00:18:34,554 - He's back. - Yeah, mission accomplished. 316 00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:37,961 Forget the mission. How did that little yutz get a girl on his own? 317 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,895 I guess times have changed since we were young. 318 00:18:41,069 --> 00:18:43,162 Smart is the new sexy. 319 00:18:43,972 --> 00:18:46,941 Then why do we go home alone every night? We're still smart. 320 00:18:47,409 --> 00:18:49,001 Maybe we're too smart. 321 00:18:49,178 --> 00:18:50,975 So smart, it's off-putting. 322 00:18:52,314 --> 00:18:54,805 Yeah, let's go with that.