1 00:00:01,217 --> 00:00:05,210 If a photon is directed through a plane with two slits in it and either is observed... 2 00:00:05,388 --> 00:00:07,913 ...it will not go through both. If unobserved, it will. 3 00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:11,322 If it's observed after it left the plane, before it hits its target... 4 00:00:11,494 --> 00:00:14,327 - ...it will not have gone through both slits. - Agreed. 5 00:00:14,497 --> 00:00:15,623 What's your point? 6 00:00:15,799 --> 00:00:18,768 There's no point, I just think it's a good idea for a T-shirt. 7 00:00:24,307 --> 00:00:26,935 - Excuse me. - Hang on. 8 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,340 One across is Aegean, eight down is Nabokov. 9 00:00:33,516 --> 00:00:36,007 Twenty-six across is MCM. 10 00:00:36,186 --> 00:00:37,244 Fourteen down is-- 11 00:00:37,420 --> 00:00:39,251 Move your finger. 12 00:00:39,422 --> 00:00:42,255 --phylum, which makes 14 across Port-au-Prince. 13 00:00:43,693 --> 00:00:47,686 See, Papa Doc's capital idea, that's Port-au-Prince. 14 00:00:48,398 --> 00:00:49,956 Haiti. 15 00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,266 - Can I help you? - Yes. 16 00:00:54,604 --> 00:00:59,268 Um, is this the high-lQ sperm bank? 17 00:01:00,176 --> 00:01:03,111 If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be here. 18 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,275 I think this is the place. 19 00:01:07,117 --> 00:01:08,448 - Fill these out. - Thank you. 20 00:01:08,618 --> 00:01:10,779 - We'll be right back. - Oh, take your time. 21 00:01:10,954 --> 00:01:13,616 I'll just finish my crossword puzzle. 22 00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:16,454 Oh, wait. 23 00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:28,796 Leonard, I don't think I can do this. 24 00:01:28,972 --> 00:01:31,600 What, are you kidding? you're a semipro. 25 00:01:32,242 --> 00:01:34,540 No. We are committing genetic fraud. 26 00:01:34,711 --> 00:01:37,908 There's no guarantee our sperm's going to generate high-lQ offspring. 27 00:01:38,081 --> 00:01:39,105 Think about that. 28 00:01:39,282 --> 00:01:43,582 I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers. 29 00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:45,881 Sheldon, this was your idea. 30 00:01:46,055 --> 00:01:49,252 A little extra money to get fractional T1 bandwidth in the apartment? 31 00:01:49,425 --> 00:01:52,758 I know. And I do yearn for faster downloads. 32 00:01:53,329 --> 00:01:56,298 There's some poor woman who's gonna pin her hopes on my sperm. 33 00:01:56,466 --> 00:01:59,458 What if she winds up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use... 34 00:01:59,636 --> 00:02:03,128 ...a differential to solve for the area under a curve? 35 00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:06,869 - I'm sure she'll still love him. - I wouldn't. 36 00:02:08,444 --> 00:02:10,071 Well, what do you wanna do? 37 00:02:10,246 --> 00:02:12,680 - I want to leave. - Okay. 38 00:02:12,849 --> 00:02:15,044 - What's the protocol for leaving? - I don't know. 39 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:18,346 I've never reneged on a proffer of sperm before. 40 00:02:19,289 --> 00:02:20,722 Let's try just walking out. 41 00:02:21,591 --> 00:02:22,785 Okay. 42 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:33,926 - Bye. - Bye-bye. 43 00:02:34,103 --> 00:02:35,536 Nice meeting you. 44 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:41,510 - Are you still mad about the sperm bank? - No. 45 00:02:42,312 --> 00:02:45,440 You wanna hear an interesting thing about stairs? 46 00:02:45,615 --> 00:02:47,014 Not really. 47 00:02:47,183 --> 00:02:50,175 If the height of a step is off by as little as two millimeters... 48 00:02:50,353 --> 00:02:53,516 - ...most people will trip. - I don't care. 49 00:02:54,357 --> 00:02:56,188 Two millime--? That doesn't seem right. 50 00:02:56,359 --> 00:02:58,884 It's true. I did a series of experiments when I was 12. 51 00:02:59,062 --> 00:03:00,791 My father broke his clavicle. 52 00:03:01,798 --> 00:03:03,857 Is that why they sent you to boarding school? 53 00:03:04,033 --> 00:03:06,729 No. That was the result of my work with lasers. 54 00:03:12,876 --> 00:03:13,934 New neighbor? 55 00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,338 Evidently. 56 00:03:15,511 --> 00:03:18,674 Significant improvement over the old neighbor. 57 00:03:19,048 --> 00:03:22,643 Two-hundred pound transvestite with a skin condition? Yes, she is. 58 00:03:24,587 --> 00:03:25,747 Oh, hi. 59 00:03:25,922 --> 00:03:26,946 - Hi. - Hi. 60 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:28,647 - Hi. - Hi. 61 00:03:29,692 --> 00:03:31,284 Hi? 62 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:34,123 We don't mean to interrupt. We live across the hall. 63 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:35,696 Oh, that's nice. 64 00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:39,201 No. We don't live together. I mean... 65 00:03:39,369 --> 00:03:44,534 ...we live together, but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms. 66 00:03:45,108 --> 00:03:47,201 Okay, well, guess I'm your new neighbor. 67 00:03:47,377 --> 00:03:49,504 - Penny. - Leonard. Sheldon. 68 00:03:49,679 --> 00:03:51,306 - Hi. - Hi. 69 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,210 Hi. 70 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,175 Well.... 71 00:03:56,552 --> 00:03:58,042 Oh, welcome to the building. 72 00:03:58,221 --> 00:04:00,553 Oh, thank you. Maybe we can have coffee sometime. 73 00:04:00,723 --> 00:04:01,781 - Oh, great. - Great. 74 00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:03,653 - Great. - Great. 75 00:04:05,461 --> 00:04:06,826 Well, bye. 76 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:08,964 - Bye. - Bye. 77 00:04:11,601 --> 00:04:13,330 Should we have invited her for lunch? 78 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:16,529 No. We're gonna start season two of Battlestar Galactica. 79 00:04:17,206 --> 00:04:19,333 We already watched the season two DVDs. 80 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,136 Not with commentary. 81 00:04:23,212 --> 00:04:24,907 I think we should be good neighbors. 82 00:04:25,081 --> 00:04:26,912 Invite her over, make her feel welcome. 83 00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:30,747 We never invited Louie/Louise over. 84 00:04:31,287 --> 00:04:33,221 Well, and that was wrong of us. 85 00:04:33,389 --> 00:04:34,720 We need to widen our circle. 86 00:04:34,891 --> 00:04:37,917 I have a very wide circle. 87 00:04:38,094 --> 00:04:41,188 I have 212 friends on MySpace. 88 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:44,556 yes, and you've never met one of them. 89 00:04:44,968 --> 00:04:46,526 That's the beauty of it. 90 00:04:48,838 --> 00:04:50,772 I'm gonna invite her over. 91 00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:53,670 We'll have a nice meal and chat. 92 00:04:53,843 --> 00:04:57,210 Chat? We don't chat, at least not off-line. 93 00:04:58,781 --> 00:04:59,941 Well, it's not difficult. 94 00:05:00,116 --> 00:05:01,743 You just listen to what she says... 95 00:05:01,918 --> 00:05:05,547 ...and then you say something appropriate in response. 96 00:05:06,456 --> 00:05:08,014 To what end? 97 00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:11,219 - Hi. Again. - Hi. 98 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,692 - Hi. - Hi. 99 00:05:13,863 --> 00:05:15,387 Anyway... 100 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,625 ...we brought home Indian food... 101 00:05:19,535 --> 00:05:21,594 ...and I know that moving can be stressful... 102 00:05:21,771 --> 00:05:23,966 ...and I find that when I'm undergoing stress... 103 00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:27,439 ...that good food and company can have a comforting effect. 104 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:32,446 Also, curry's a natural laxative and I don't have to tell you that, you know... 105 00:05:32,615 --> 00:05:36,984 ...a clean colon is just one less thing to worry about. 106 00:05:38,321 --> 00:05:41,017 I'm no expert, but in the context of a lunch invitation... 107 00:05:41,190 --> 00:05:43,818 ...you might wanna skip the reference to bowel movements. 108 00:05:44,327 --> 00:05:46,158 Oh, you're inviting me over to eat? 109 00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:48,254 yes. 110 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,490 Oh, that's so nice. I'd love to. 111 00:05:50,666 --> 00:05:51,690 Great. 112 00:05:51,868 --> 00:05:54,166 So, what do you guys do for fun around here? 113 00:05:54,804 --> 00:05:56,795 Well, today we tried masturbating for money. 114 00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:26,734 - Okay, well, make yourself at home. - Okay. 115 00:06:26,903 --> 00:06:30,339 - Thank you. - you're very welcome. 116 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,174 You're very welcome. 117 00:06:33,676 --> 00:06:36,474 This looks like some serious stuff. Leonard, did you do this? 118 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,046 Actually, that's my work. 119 00:06:39,615 --> 00:06:40,604 Wow. 120 00:06:40,783 --> 00:06:43,183 Yeah, well, it's just some quantum mechanics... 121 00:06:43,352 --> 00:06:47,186 ...with a little string theory doodling around the edges. That part's just a joke. 122 00:06:47,356 --> 00:06:50,587 It's a spoof of the Born-Oppenheimer approximation. 123 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:54,986 So you're, like, one of those Beautiful Mind genius guys. 124 00:06:56,065 --> 00:06:57,589 yeah. 125 00:06:58,601 --> 00:06:59,829 This is really impressive. 126 00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:03,267 I have a board, if you like boards. This is my board. 127 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:05,371 Holy smokes. 128 00:07:05,541 --> 00:07:08,840 If by "holy smokes," you mean a derivative restatement of the stuff... 129 00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:12,378 ...you can find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at MIT, sure. 130 00:07:12,982 --> 00:07:14,381 - What? - Oh, come on. 131 00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:18,179 Who hasn't seen this differential below "here I sit brokenhearted"? 132 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:22,381 At least I didn't have to invent 26 dimensions just to make the math come out. 133 00:07:22,558 --> 00:07:25,322 - I didn't invent them. They're there. - In what universe? 134 00:07:25,495 --> 00:07:27,292 In all of them, that is the point. 135 00:07:28,397 --> 00:07:30,126 Do you guys mind if I start? 136 00:07:30,299 --> 00:07:31,926 - Penny. - yeah? 137 00:07:32,101 --> 00:07:34,228 That's where I sit. 138 00:07:35,138 --> 00:07:36,901 So sit next to me. 139 00:07:38,341 --> 00:07:42,368 - No, I sit there. - What's the difference? 140 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,105 - What's the difference? - Here we go. 141 00:07:45,281 --> 00:07:48,512 In winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm... 142 00:07:48,684 --> 00:07:50,879 ...yet not so close as to cause perspiration. 143 00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:55,251 In the summer, it's in a cross breeze created by opening windows there and there. 144 00:07:55,424 --> 00:07:59,520 It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, discouraging conversation... 145 00:07:59,695 --> 00:08:02,163 ...nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion. 146 00:08:02,331 --> 00:08:06,392 I could go on, but I think I've made my point. 147 00:08:08,704 --> 00:08:10,035 Do you want me to move? 148 00:08:10,206 --> 00:08:12,037 - Well.... - Just sit somewhere else. 149 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,900 Fine. 150 00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:35,756 Sheldon, sit. 151 00:08:36,966 --> 00:08:38,331 Ah. 152 00:08:40,203 --> 00:08:43,468 - Well, this is nice. - We don't have a lot of company over. 153 00:08:43,639 --> 00:08:46,199 That's not true. Koothrappali and Wolowitz come over. 154 00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:47,364 yes, I know. 155 00:08:47,543 --> 00:08:49,943 Tuesday night we played Klingon Boggle until 1 in the morning. 156 00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:52,637 - Yeah, I remember. - I resent you saying we don't have company. 157 00:08:52,815 --> 00:08:55,579 - That has a negative social implication. - I said I'm sorry. 158 00:08:56,886 --> 00:08:58,046 So... 159 00:08:58,221 --> 00:08:59,586 ...Klingon Boggle? 160 00:08:59,755 --> 00:09:04,317 yeah. It's like regular Boggle, but in Klingon. 161 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,663 That's probably enough about us. So tell us about you. 162 00:09:10,566 --> 00:09:12,124 Me? Okay. 163 00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:15,896 I'm a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know. 164 00:09:16,072 --> 00:09:19,508 Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion... 165 00:09:19,675 --> 00:09:22,735 ...that the sun's position relative to arbitrary constellations... 166 00:09:22,912 --> 00:09:26,177 ...at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality. 167 00:09:28,517 --> 00:09:30,144 Participate in the what? 168 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:32,150 I think what Sheldon's trying to say... 169 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:35,051 ...is that Sagittarius wouldn't have been our first guess. 170 00:09:35,224 --> 00:09:37,920 Oh, yeah, a lot of people think I'm a water sign. 171 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,424 Okay, let's see, what else? 172 00:09:40,596 --> 00:09:41,620 Oh, I'm a vegetarian. 173 00:09:41,797 --> 00:09:45,858 No, except for fish, and the occasional steak. I love steak. 174 00:09:47,436 --> 00:09:48,903 Well, that's interesting. 175 00:09:49,071 --> 00:09:50,663 Leonard can't process corn. 176 00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:57,103 So do you have some sort of a job? 177 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,304 Oh, yeah. 178 00:09:58,481 --> 00:10:00,472 I'm a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory. 179 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,445 I love cheesecake. 180 00:10:02,618 --> 00:10:05,985 - you're lactose intolerant. - I don't eat it, I think it's a good idea. 181 00:10:07,556 --> 00:10:09,387 Anyways, I'm also writing a screenplay. 182 00:10:09,558 --> 00:10:12,994 It's about this sensitive girl who comes to L.A. from Lincoln, Nebraska... 183 00:10:13,162 --> 00:10:17,360 ...to be an actress and winds up a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory. 184 00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:19,662 So it's based on your life. 185 00:10:19,835 --> 00:10:21,826 No, I'm from Omaha. 186 00:10:25,408 --> 00:10:27,399 If that was a movie, I would go see it. 187 00:10:27,576 --> 00:10:28,770 I know, right? 188 00:10:28,944 --> 00:10:30,673 Okay, let's see, what else? 189 00:10:32,148 --> 00:10:33,843 I guess that's about it. 190 00:10:34,417 --> 00:10:36,647 That's the story of Penny. 191 00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:38,811 Well, it sounds wonderful. 192 00:10:39,922 --> 00:10:41,355 It was. 193 00:10:41,524 --> 00:10:45,016 Until I fell in love with a jerk. 194 00:10:48,164 --> 00:10:49,529 What is happening? 195 00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:51,690 I don't know. 196 00:10:51,867 --> 00:10:54,097 Oh, God, you know, four years I lived with him. 197 00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:57,433 Four years. That's like as long as high school. 198 00:10:57,606 --> 00:11:00,097 It took you four years to get through high school? 199 00:11:02,044 --> 00:11:05,844 I just-- I can't believe I trusted him. 200 00:11:09,819 --> 00:11:12,344 Should I say something? I feel I should say something. 201 00:11:12,521 --> 00:11:14,148 you? No, you'll only make it worse. 202 00:11:14,323 --> 00:11:16,518 you wanna know the most pathetic part? 203 00:11:16,692 --> 00:11:20,219 Even though I hate his lying, cheating guts... 204 00:11:20,396 --> 00:11:22,830 ...I still love him. 205 00:11:22,998 --> 00:11:24,056 Is that crazy? 206 00:11:24,233 --> 00:11:25,894 yes. 207 00:11:27,303 --> 00:11:30,602 No, it's not crazy. It's a-- 208 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,468 It's a paradox. 209 00:11:32,641 --> 00:11:36,008 Paradoxes are part of nature. I mean, think about light. 210 00:11:36,178 --> 00:11:40,774 If you look at Huygens, light is a wave, as confirmed by the double-slit experiments. 211 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:43,282 But then, along comes Albert Einstein... 212 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:46,421 ...and discovers that light behaves like particles too. 213 00:11:49,058 --> 00:11:51,583 Well, I didn't make it worse. 214 00:11:52,895 --> 00:11:54,556 Oh, I'm so sorry I'm such a mess. 215 00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:57,426 And on top of everything else, I'm all gross from moving... 216 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,329 ...and my stupid shower doesn't work. 217 00:11:59,502 --> 00:12:01,663 Our shower works. 218 00:12:02,271 --> 00:12:04,501 Really? Would it be totally weird if I used it? 219 00:12:04,673 --> 00:12:05,697 - yes. - No. 220 00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:06,899 - No? - No. 221 00:12:07,076 --> 00:12:08,304 No. 222 00:12:08,711 --> 00:12:10,110 It's right down the hall. 223 00:12:10,279 --> 00:12:11,473 Okay, thanks. 224 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,239 you guys are really sweet. 225 00:12:19,722 --> 00:12:22,589 Well, this is an interesting development. 226 00:12:25,294 --> 00:12:26,318 How so? 227 00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:27,826 It has been some time... 228 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,864 ...since we've had a woman take her clothes off in our apartment. 229 00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:33,024 That's not true. Remember at Thanksgiving... 230 00:12:33,202 --> 00:12:36,262 ...my grandmother with Alzheimer's had that episode? 231 00:12:37,473 --> 00:12:41,273 Point taken. It has been some time since we've had a woman take her clothes off... 232 00:12:41,444 --> 00:12:44,106 ...after which we didn't wanna rip our eyes out. 233 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:48,506 The worst part was watching her carve that turkey. 234 00:12:48,951 --> 00:12:52,717 So, what exactly are you trying to accomplish here? 235 00:12:52,888 --> 00:12:54,014 Excuse me? 236 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,784 That woman in there is not going to have sex with you. 237 00:12:56,959 --> 00:12:58,950 Well, I'm not trying to have sex with her. 238 00:12:59,128 --> 00:13:01,824 Oh, good. Then you won't be disappointed. 239 00:13:01,997 --> 00:13:04,329 What makes you think she wouldn't have sex with me? 240 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,468 I'm a male and she's a female. 241 00:13:06,969 --> 00:13:10,063 yes, but not of the same species. 242 00:13:10,239 --> 00:13:12,332 I'm not gonna engage in hypotheticals here. 243 00:13:12,508 --> 00:13:16,205 - I'm just trying to be a good neighbor. - Oh, of course. 244 00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:19,438 That's not to say that if a carnal relationship were to develop... 245 00:13:19,615 --> 00:13:22,106 ...that I wouldn't participate. 246 00:13:23,419 --> 00:13:24,886 However briefly. 247 00:13:26,121 --> 00:13:28,385 Do you think this possibility will be hindered... 248 00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:32,425 ...when she discovers your Luke Skywalker "no more tears" shampoo? 249 00:13:33,162 --> 00:13:35,630 It's Darth Vader shampoo. 250 00:13:37,032 --> 00:13:39,398 Luke Skywalker's the conditioner. 251 00:13:41,303 --> 00:13:43,828 - Wait till you see this. - It's fantastic. Unbelievable. 252 00:13:44,006 --> 00:13:45,098 See what? 253 00:13:46,308 --> 00:13:50,540 It's a Stephen Hawking lecture from MIT in 1974. 254 00:13:50,713 --> 00:13:51,907 This isn't a good time. 255 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,208 It's before he became... 256 00:13:54,383 --> 00:13:56,214 ...a creepy computer voice. 257 00:13:58,220 --> 00:14:00,085 - That's great, you guys have to go. - Why? 258 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:03,248 - It's just not a good time. - Leonard has a lady over. 259 00:14:03,792 --> 00:14:06,693 yeah, right. your grandmother back in town? 260 00:14:08,497 --> 00:14:09,521 No. 261 00:14:09,698 --> 00:14:12,189 And she's not a lady, she's just a new neighbor. 262 00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:15,098 Hang on, there really is a lady here? 263 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,738 - Uh-huh. - And you want us out... 264 00:14:16,906 --> 00:14:18,931 ...because you're anticipating coitus? 265 00:14:19,508 --> 00:14:22,306 - I'm not anticipating coitus. - So she's available for coitus? 266 00:14:22,478 --> 00:14:24,946 Can we please just stop saying "coitus"? 267 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,742 Technically, that would be coitus interruptus. 268 00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:31,577 Hey, is there a trick to getting it to switch from tub to shower? 269 00:14:31,754 --> 00:14:33,551 Oh, hi, sorry. 270 00:14:33,722 --> 00:14:35,053 Hello. 271 00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:38,622 Enchanté, mademoiselle. 272 00:14:40,329 --> 00:14:43,423 Howard Wolowitz, CalTech Department of Applied Physics. 273 00:14:43,599 --> 00:14:45,464 You may be familiar with some of my work. 274 00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:48,102 It's currently orbiting Jupiter's largest moon... 275 00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:51,103 ...taking high-resolution digital photographs. 276 00:14:51,907 --> 00:14:54,808 Penny. I work at The Cheesecake Factory. 277 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,002 - I'll show you the trick with the shower. - Okay. 278 00:14:58,948 --> 00:15:00,415 I'm sorry? 279 00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:02,210 It's French for "good shower." 280 00:15:02,384 --> 00:15:05,148 It's a sentiment I can express in six languages. 281 00:15:05,921 --> 00:15:08,515 Save it for your blog, Howard. 282 00:15:15,931 --> 00:15:18,161 All right, there it goes. It sticks, I'm sorry. 283 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:19,995 - Okay, thanks. - You're welcome. 284 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,194 Oh, you're just gonna step right--? Okay. 285 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,633 - Hey, Leonard? - The hair products are Sheldon's. 286 00:15:25,808 --> 00:15:26,968 Okay. 287 00:15:27,142 --> 00:15:31,044 - Um, can I ask you a favor? - A favor? 288 00:15:31,213 --> 00:15:34,444 Sure, you could ask me a favor. I would do you a favor for you. 289 00:15:35,217 --> 00:15:39,313 - It's okay if you say no. - Oh, I'll probably say yes. 290 00:15:39,588 --> 00:15:43,649 It's just not the kind of thing you ask a guy you just met. 291 00:15:43,826 --> 00:15:45,453 Wow. 292 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,866 I really think we should examine the chain of causality here. 293 00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,264 - Must we? - Event A: 294 00:15:55,437 --> 00:15:57,496 A beautiful woman stands naked in our shower. 295 00:15:57,673 --> 00:16:01,006 We drive halfway across town to retrieve a television set... 296 00:16:01,176 --> 00:16:03,371 ...from the aforementioned woman's ex-boyfriend. 297 00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:07,140 On what plane of existence is there even a semi-rational link... 298 00:16:07,316 --> 00:16:09,341 ...between these events? 299 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:12,384 She asked me to do her a favor, Sheldon. 300 00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:15,022 Well, that may be the proximal cause of our journey... 301 00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:17,624 ...but we both know it exists in contradistinction... 302 00:16:17,793 --> 00:16:19,727 ...to the higher-level distal cause. 303 00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,728 - Which is? - you think with your penis. 304 00:16:23,265 --> 00:16:26,393 That's a biological impossibility, and you didn't have to come. 305 00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:29,765 Oh, yes. I could have stayed behind to watch Wolowitz hit on Penny... 306 00:16:29,938 --> 00:16:32,270 ...in Russian, Arabic and Farsi. 307 00:16:32,441 --> 00:16:34,341 And why can't she get her own TV? 308 00:16:34,510 --> 00:16:36,444 Come on, you know how it is with breakups. 309 00:16:36,612 --> 00:16:38,910 No, I don't, and neither do you. 310 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,140 But I-- I broke up with Joyce Kim. 311 00:16:41,316 --> 00:16:44,774 You did not break up with Joyce Kim. She defected to North Korea. 312 00:16:44,953 --> 00:16:47,513 To mend her broken heart. 313 00:16:50,125 --> 00:16:52,650 This situation is much less complicated. 314 00:16:52,828 --> 00:16:55,490 There's some dispute between Penny and her ex-boyfriend... 315 00:16:55,664 --> 00:16:57,325 ...as to who gets custody of the TV. 316 00:16:57,499 --> 00:17:01,230 - She just wanted to avoid a scene with him. - So we get to have a scene with him? 317 00:17:01,403 --> 00:17:03,894 No, Sheldon, there's not going to be a scene. 318 00:17:04,073 --> 00:17:05,734 There's two of us and one of him. 319 00:17:05,908 --> 00:17:08,934 Leonard, the two of us can't even carry a TV. 320 00:17:10,746 --> 00:17:13,681 So you guys work with Leonard and Sheldon at the university? 321 00:17:19,354 --> 00:17:21,788 I'm sorry, do you speak English? 322 00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:25,017 Oh, he speaks English. He just can't speak to women. 323 00:17:25,761 --> 00:17:27,160 Really? Why? 324 00:17:27,329 --> 00:17:29,092 He's kind of a nerd. 325 00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:33,391 Juice box? 326 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,474 - I'll do the talking. - Yeah? 327 00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:43,236 - Hi. I'm Leonard, this is Sheldon. - Hello. 328 00:17:43,412 --> 00:17:44,845 What did I just--? 329 00:17:46,715 --> 00:17:49,548 - We're here to pick up Penny's TV. - Get lost. 330 00:17:49,718 --> 00:17:51,083 Okay, thanks for your time. 331 00:17:51,253 --> 00:17:54,745 - We're not gonna give up just like that. - Leonard, the TV's in the building. 332 00:17:54,923 --> 00:17:57,915 We've been denied access to the building, ergo we are done. 333 00:17:58,093 --> 00:18:01,961 Excuse me. If I were to give up at the first hitch, I never would have identified... 334 00:18:02,131 --> 00:18:06,067 ...the fingerprints of string theory in the aftermath of the big bang. 335 00:18:06,802 --> 00:18:09,032 My apologies. What's your plan? 336 00:18:23,085 --> 00:18:25,747 It's just a privilege to watch your mind at work. 337 00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:29,323 Come on, we have a combined IQ of 360. 338 00:18:29,491 --> 00:18:32,551 We should be able to figure out how to get into a stupid building. 339 00:18:36,932 --> 00:18:40,026 - What do you think their combined IQ is? - Just grab the door. 340 00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,902 This is it. 341 00:18:44,606 --> 00:18:45,766 I'll do the talking. 342 00:18:45,941 --> 00:18:48,637 Good thinking, I'll just be the muscle. 343 00:18:55,784 --> 00:18:58,981 - yeah? - I'm Leonard, this is Sheldon. 344 00:18:59,154 --> 00:19:00,951 From the intercom. 345 00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:04,725 How the hell did you get in the building? 346 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,294 We're scientists. 347 00:19:09,131 --> 00:19:11,429 Tell him about our IQ. 348 00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,073 - Leonard. - What? 349 00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:28,444 - My mom bought me those pants. - I'm sorry. 350 00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:31,143 you're gonna have to call her. 351 00:19:33,655 --> 00:19:36,556 Sheldon, I am so sorry I dragged you through this. 352 00:19:36,725 --> 00:19:40,957 It's okay. It wasn't my first pantsing and it won't be my last. 353 00:19:41,129 --> 00:19:42,790 And you were right about my motives. 354 00:19:42,965 --> 00:19:45,729 I was hoping to establish a relationship with Penny... 355 00:19:45,901 --> 00:19:49,132 ...that might have someday led to sex. 356 00:19:49,738 --> 00:19:52,229 Well, you got me out of my pants. 357 00:19:53,642 --> 00:19:57,134 Anyway, I've learned my lesson. She's out of my league, I'm done with her. 358 00:19:57,312 --> 00:19:58,506 I've got my work. 359 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,615 One day I'll win the Nobel Prize and then I'll die alone. 360 00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:04,843 Don't think like that. you're not going to die alone. 361 00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:07,989 Thank you, Sheldon. you're a good friend. 362 00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:12,025 And you're certainly not gonna win a Nobel Prize. 363 00:20:12,561 --> 00:20:16,361 This is one of my favorite places to kick back after a quest. 364 00:20:16,531 --> 00:20:18,328 They have a great house ale. 365 00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,524 Wow, cool tiger. 366 00:20:19,701 --> 00:20:22,636 yeah, I've had him since Level 10. 367 00:20:22,905 --> 00:20:24,805 His name is Buttons. 368 00:20:25,374 --> 00:20:27,433 Anyway, if you had your own game character... 369 00:20:27,609 --> 00:20:30,510 ...we could hang out, maybe go on a quest. 370 00:20:30,679 --> 00:20:33,978 - That sounds interesting. - So you'll think about it? 371 00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:36,879 Oh, I don't think I'll be able to stop thinking about it. 372 00:20:38,854 --> 00:20:40,583 Smooth. 373 00:20:42,524 --> 00:20:45,425 - We're home. - Oh, my God. What happened? 374 00:20:45,594 --> 00:20:51,226 Well, your ex-boyfriend sends his regards and I think the rest is fairly self-explanatory. 375 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:52,526 I'm so sorry. 376 00:20:52,701 --> 00:20:56,159 I really thought if you guys went instead of me he wouldn't be such an ass. 377 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:57,930 No, it was a valid hypothesis. 378 00:20:58,106 --> 00:21:01,337 That was a valid hypo--? What is happening to you? 379 00:21:01,877 --> 00:21:04,971 Really, thank you so much for going and trying. 380 00:21:05,147 --> 00:21:08,674 you just-- you're so terrific. 381 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:14,049 Why don't you put some clothes on, I'll get my purse, and dinner is on me, okay? 382 00:21:14,222 --> 00:21:15,416 - Really? Great. - Thank you. 383 00:21:15,590 --> 00:21:16,818 Okay. 384 00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:24,330 you're not done with her, are you? 385 00:21:25,334 --> 00:21:28,428 Our babies will be smart and beautiful. 386 00:21:30,305 --> 00:21:32,739 Not to mention imaginary. 387 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:40,580 - Is Thai food okay with you, Penny? - Sure. 388 00:21:40,749 --> 00:21:42,740 We can't have Thai, we had Indian for lunch. 389 00:21:42,918 --> 00:21:45,352 - So? - They're both curry-based cuisines. 390 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,216 - So? - It would be gastronomically redundant. 391 00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:51,826 I can see we're going to have to spell out everything for this girl. 392 00:21:52,594 --> 00:21:54,653 Any ideas, Raj? 393 00:21:56,264 --> 00:21:58,528 Turn left on Lake Street and head up to Colorado. 394 00:21:58,700 --> 00:22:01,328 I know a wonderful little sushi bar that has karaoke. 395 00:22:01,503 --> 00:22:03,471 Oh, that sounds like fun. 396 00:22:15,984 --> 00:22:18,316 I don't know your odds in the world as a whole... 397 00:22:18,487 --> 00:22:22,753 ...but as far as the population of this car goes, you're a veritable mac daddy.