1 00:00:01,305 --> 00:00:02,959 Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 2 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,482 We conclusively proved super-asymmetry, 3 00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:07,050 and yet somehow we-we still feel like imposters. 4 00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:08,834 Yeah, there should be a term for that. 5 00:00:08,878 --> 00:00:11,489 Oh, for crying out loud, there is a term for that! 6 00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,622 It's called "imposter syndrome," 7 00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:15,711 and you don't have it, because you can't have it 8 00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:18,061 if you are imposters, and you are! 9 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:20,977 We're the ones who discovered super-asymmetry, 10 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,153 so if anyone's gonna feel like they have imposter syndrome, 11 00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:26,939 it's us because we're not imposters, they are! 12 00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:29,986 You're imposters and you're frauds! 13 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:36,688 I think what President Siebert is trying to say is that 14 00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:39,474 this is a setback and we should adopt a different strategy. 15 00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:42,259 I-I'm sorry. I-I just-- I-I snapped. 16 00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,827 Oh, you're sorry. It's all better, then. 17 00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:47,612 Listen up, you have shot to win a Nobel Prize, 18 00:00:47,656 --> 00:00:49,092 and you're blowing it. 19 00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:51,355 I think what President Siebert is trying to say 20 00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:53,662 is that you have a shot to win a Nobel Prize, 21 00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:56,143 and you're blowing it. 22 00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:59,711 Uh, that's exactly what he said. 23 00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:03,193 Yes, but I said it in my calming HR voice. 24 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:08,242 So, obviously, 25 00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:10,592 I'm really sorry about my outburst. 26 00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:12,942 [stammers] Calling you frauds was unacceptable. 27 00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:14,552 I feel terrible about it. 28 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,467 It has caused her a lot of stress. 29 00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:18,121 She chewed through her night guard 30 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,819 like it was a piece of jerky. 31 00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:22,691 What you said was really hurtful, 32 00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:24,606 especially because I thought we were friends. 33 00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:26,869 Why would you think that? 34 00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:29,872 Ouch. 35 00:01:29,915 --> 00:01:32,875 Ignore them; they're just mean people. 36 00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:35,269 Uh, not mean, just sorry. 37 00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:38,446 Seem mean, are sorry. Happens all the time. 38 00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:40,926 It's okay. I talked to my therapist, 39 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,928 and she made me realize that what you said 40 00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:45,627 was really more about your own insecurities. 41 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,413 I'm sorry, what? 42 00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:51,981 There you go, she's sorry. We all heard it. Moving on. 43 00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,983 Yes, obviously, 44 00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,985 you're angry at all the attention we're getting 45 00:01:56,028 --> 00:01:57,987 for our discovery and you're lashing out. 46 00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,816 Well, uh, technically, shelashed out. 47 00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:03,253 Icontained myself, which I don't think 48 00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:05,342 I'm getting enough credit for. 49 00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:07,823 The point is we should take it as a compliment 50 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:11,261 that even you guys think we will win the Nobel Prize. 51 00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:14,612 Uh, no, we-we certainly do not think that. 52 00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:16,266 The Nobel Committee will realize 53 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:17,789 that we came up with this theory. 54 00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:18,877 But we proved it. 55 00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:20,096 By accident. 56 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,577 All breakthroughs happen by accident. 57 00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:25,275 No, they don't! 58 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,670 Look, the Nobel Committee doesn't like infighting, 59 00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:30,889 so if the four of you don't stop sniping at each other, 60 00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:32,717 the award's gonna go to someone else entirely. 61 00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:35,111 He's right. 62 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,418 You know, like it or not, we can't avoid each other. 63 00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:39,898 Let's at least try to be civil. 64 00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:40,986 Agreed. 65 00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:42,771 You know, when you think about it, 66 00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:46,209 we're linked together the same way that super-asymmetry 67 00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:48,603 links together every atom in the universe. Hmm. 68 00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:51,780 That's not what it does at all! 69 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,175 Well, that's the great thing about science. 70 00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:57,786 We all get to have our own opinions. 71 00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:07,361 I'm still not talking. That's impressive, right? 72 00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:11,147 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 73 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,411 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 74 00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:16,152 ♪ The Earth began to cool 75 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,720 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 76 00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:21,331 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids♪ 77 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,986 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 78 00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:25,857 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 79 00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:27,424 ♪ Bang!♪ 80 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:38,914 You-- No, no, no, no. Your money's no good here. 81 00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:45,573 Well, I'm glad that we hashed all that out, 82 00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:48,489 and moving forward, may the best team win. 83 00:03:48,532 --> 00:03:50,186 I couldn't agree more. 84 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,580 [quietly]: We're the best team. 85 00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:55,583 Greg Pemberton, you old so-and-so. 86 00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,367 [chuckles] Very good to see you. 87 00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:59,804 Uh, let me introduce you to my colleague, Dr. Campbell. 88 00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:02,154 Uh, Kevin, this is Barry Kripke. We went to college together. 89 00:04:02,198 --> 00:04:04,809 Great to meet you. Well, you have my number. 90 00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,898 We should hit up the buffet at the strip club 91 00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:08,378 while you're in town. 92 00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:11,294 Nothing beats a lap dance and a baked potato bar, huh? 93 00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:12,339 [chuckles] 94 00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:13,818 You can come, too. 95 00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,907 That's a hard pass. 96 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:18,345 I'll walk you out. 97 00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:20,390 PEMBERTON: Good to see you, Barry. 98 00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:22,523 You're the best! 99 00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:24,176 Oh... 100 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:26,440 God, I hate that guy. 101 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:29,704 That's strange; you seem quite fond of him. 102 00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:33,360 I was only being polite. Pemberton is a grade A weasel. 103 00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,275 How do I know you're not just being polite 104 00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:36,798 when you say it's nice to see me? 105 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:40,280 I have literally never said that to you. 106 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,848 Why do you say he's a weasel? 107 00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:46,111 [sighs] Pemberton's whole M.O. 108 00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,940 was to take other people's ideas and turn them in as his own. 109 00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:51,116 That's exactly what he's doing to us. 110 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,945 I'm not surprised. I heard the only work he did on his thesis 111 00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:57,340 was googling, "Where can I buy a thesis?" 112 00:04:57,384 --> 00:05:01,475 Well, plagiarism is a pretty serious charge. Are you sure? 113 00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:03,825 You want proof? I can make some calls. 114 00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:05,609 You'd do that for us? 115 00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:08,699 I really don't want to see that guy win a Nobel. 116 00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:11,006 I also don't want to see you win a Nobel. 117 00:05:11,049 --> 00:05:12,834 Ooh, this is tricky. 118 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:17,229 I don't know, Barry. It sounds a little sleazy. 119 00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:20,232 Well, let me know if you change your mind. 120 00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:23,061 Sleazy is where I thrive. 121 00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:28,415 So I was talking to my mom 122 00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:30,242 about our Pemberton and Campbell situation. 123 00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:31,809 Really? What'd she say? 124 00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:34,203 Apparently, Old Testament God would bring down his wrath 125 00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:35,422 on them for being deceitful, 126 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:37,598 but New Testament God would forgive them. 127 00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:42,559 So couldn't we just bring down our wrath 128 00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,822 and ask the New Testament God to forgive us? 129 00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:47,216 You know, I asked her that very question. And? 130 00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:49,784 She said I was full of California sass. 131 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,396 Oh, good, you're all here. Uh, we're wrestling 132 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,877 with an ethical question, and perhaps you could help. 133 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,400 Sure, what's up? Yeah. Fire away. 134 00:05:57,444 --> 00:06:00,142 If we have damaging and embarrassing information 135 00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:03,841 about someone, should we keep it to ourselves or expose them? 136 00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:10,282 Quick question: Does it happen to do with online tastes 137 00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:12,589 that might or might not reflect their real-life tastes? 138 00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,419 I know all about your tall girl website. 139 00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,203 It goes on our credit card. 140 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,556 It's Dr. Pemberton. 141 00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,732 Kripke says he plagiarized his thesis, 142 00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:26,429 and that he can prove it. 143 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:29,737 Wow. Well, that's not gonna sit well with the Nobel Committee. 144 00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,826 Hang on. I don't think it's fair to use something 145 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:34,437 someone did in school against them. 146 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,440 Relax, he said it's not you. 147 00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:39,616 I don't know. If someone's a cheater, 148 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:42,489 they should be held accountable no matter how long ago it was. 149 00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:46,406 [laughs]: Okay, now you just sound crazy. 150 00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,495 So you really think they should do this? 151 00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,540 [stammers] It wouldn't just knock Pemberton 152 00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:53,543 out of Nobel contention, it would blow up his whole career. 153 00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:56,111 To that, I say kaboom! 154 00:06:57,591 --> 00:07:00,463 No, I meant it's a bad thing. 155 00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:01,769 No, no, I agree with Bernadette. 156 00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,161 If Pemberton cheated, 157 00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:05,250 maybe he shouldn't have a career in the first place. 158 00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:07,122 There's plenty of people that didn't plagiarize. 159 00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:09,472 And a few of us who did, but it's only 'cause 160 00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:11,474 The Scarlet Letter was so boring. 161 00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:15,565 Aw, I love The Scarlet Letter. 162 00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:18,350 Th-That's where I got my taste for bad girls. 163 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:24,661 Ugh, why is this decision so hard? 164 00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:26,271 Maybe because you want to win, 165 00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:28,926 but deep down you know it's not the honorable way to do it. 166 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,580 Otherwise, you would've done it already. 167 00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:32,234 That's really wise. 168 00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:36,151 Yes, but it may just be the Indian accent. 169 00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:42,505 Do you think by not exposing Pemberton 170 00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:44,681 we're doing the right thing? 171 00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,509 Of course. 172 00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:49,556 Unless you think we're not doing the right thing. 173 00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,601 Why would you think that I don't think 174 00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:53,081 we're doing the right thing? 175 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:56,606 You might think that if good people hold themselves 176 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,608 to unrealistically high ethical standards, 177 00:07:58,652 --> 00:08:01,524 then they might lose out to their unscrupulous competitors. 178 00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:02,743 Is that what you think? 179 00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:04,092 No. 180 00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:05,876 No, I just thought if you thought we weren't 181 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,792 doing the right thing, that's why you might think that. 182 00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:11,142 Well, if I did think that, 183 00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:13,536 you might point out that people who claim 184 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,843 it's okay to do bad things to win 185 00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:18,628 are bad people no matter what they tell themselves. 186 00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:20,325 And I'd be right 187 00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,631 to point that out. 188 00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,372 Because you're a good person. 189 00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:27,550 I love talking to you. 190 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:30,292 It's like talking to me, but with a girl voice. 191 00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:36,646 I'm just saying, Sheldon and Amy deserve to win, 192 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,692 and sometimes that means doing what you got to do. 193 00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:41,564 Don't you think it's better to take the high road? 194 00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,000 Yeah, and instead of guns, 195 00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:47,091 armies should carry candy canes that shoot wishes. 196 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,615 So what's the worst thing you've ever done 197 00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,399 to get something you wanted? 198 00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:51,879 I'm not gonna tell you that. 199 00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:54,403 Oh, come on. I'll tell you mine. 200 00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:57,101 [laughs]: Right, 'cause yours is gonna be 201 00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:59,669 as bad as mine. Okay. 202 00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:02,324 [chuckles] Come on, just tell me. 203 00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,239 Okay, fine. 204 00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:06,763 When we first met, there was another waitress 205 00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:08,591 at The Cheesecake Factory who thought you were cute, 206 00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:13,596 so I told her you had all the hepatitises, A through Z. 207 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,164 There aren't 26 hepatitises. 208 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:17,992 Well, if she was smart enough to know that, 209 00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:20,516 she wouldn't still be working at a Cheesecake Factory. 210 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,257 Oh, she still works there? Who was it? 211 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,780 Why does it matter? 212 00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:27,697 You're right, it doesn't matter 'cause I got the best one. 213 00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,353 Was it Susan? 214 00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:32,615 Why? Because she's tall? 215 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,922 Good night. 216 00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:38,578 Can't believe it. 217 00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,928 Sheldon loves telling on people when they break the rules. 218 00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:43,060 Yeah, well, maybe he's changed. 219 00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:45,149 He hasn't changed. Last week, when the vending machine 220 00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:48,370 gave me two bags of chips, he called my mom. 221 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:50,241 Well, that didn't ruin your life. 222 00:09:50,285 --> 00:09:51,591 Well, it ruined my day. 223 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:54,332 I had to talk to my mom, who, by the way, 224 00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:58,728 is-is polyamorous now, so that's fun to think about. 225 00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:00,904 Look, I'm proud of Sheldon and Amy. 226 00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:03,254 You know? They want to win this thing on their own merits, 227 00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:05,387 not by knocking out the competition. 228 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:06,780 Yeah, but what if they don't win? 229 00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:08,912 Uh, Pemberton and Campbell have done an amazing job 230 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:11,132 of associating their names with super-asymmetry. 231 00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:13,264 They have all the momentum right now. 232 00:10:13,308 --> 00:10:14,831 I don't like the idea of them losing either, 233 00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:17,617 but this is their decision to make, not ours. 234 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:18,879 [sighs] 235 00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:20,663 Maybe it is ours. 236 00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:22,230 What do you mean? 237 00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:25,233 Well, i-if Sheldon and Amy don't want to expose Pemberton, 238 00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:27,670 that doesn't mean someone else can't do it for them. 239 00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:29,585 They'd never have to know. 240 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,413 Really? You'd do that? 241 00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:32,806 They deserve the Nobel. 242 00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:35,199 I'm not gonna let two frauds steal it from them. 243 00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:37,811 And if that means getting my hands dirty, so be it. 244 00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:41,336 [laughs]What's so funny? 245 00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:45,819 Just realized I've never actually seen your hands dirty. 246 00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:50,345 All right, Hofstadter, here's all the proof you need. 247 00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:52,129 Great, thanks.Just remember, 248 00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:55,872 once you take this envelope, there's no turning back. 249 00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:58,745 What if I look at it and decide not to use it? 250 00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:04,228 I had not considered that. 251 00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:06,622 Got to hand it to you, 252 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,363 you got a real talent for making things boring. 253 00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,452 Thanks. 254 00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,715 Hey, look at that, you did it again. 255 00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:15,762 Hi, Leonard. 256 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,807 What? Nothing. 257 00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:19,722 You okay? 258 00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:20,941 Uh, no, you are. 259 00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:32,604 So guess what. There was a waitress 260 00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:34,606 at The Cheesecake Factory back in the day 261 00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:36,739 who kind of had a thing for me. 262 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:40,264 Other than Bernadette? That does not sound right. 263 00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:41,788 Honest to God. 264 00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:43,050 Oh, well, who was it? 265 00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:44,704 It doesn't even matter. I'm happily married. 266 00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:48,055 The point is women-- plural-- find me appealing. 267 00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:50,710 Okay. Okay, well, well, let's see. 268 00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,886 Okay? We-we know it wasn't Penny, 269 00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,062 we know it wasn't Susan...Wait. 270 00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:56,585 How do we know it wasn't Susan? 271 00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:58,369 Uh, because she had a type. 272 00:11:58,413 --> 00:11:59,719 What type? 273 00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:02,504 Don't make me say it. 274 00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:05,507 Are you saying I'm not a handsome guy? 275 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:08,249 See? It's mean, right? 276 00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,601 Hold on, as we've established, 277 00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:15,212 a minimum of two women think I'm attractive. 278 00:12:15,256 --> 00:12:18,433 Uh, yeah, you're right, it was totally Susan. 279 00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:21,262 I didn't say it was her. I said it could've been. 280 00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:24,526 It could've been anybody. Marta, Gina, Annalise... 281 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:27,964 It's a little creepy that you remember all their names. 282 00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:29,618 Not just their names. 283 00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,751 The cars they drove, the color of their eyes, 284 00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:33,883 and whether or not they had boyfriends. 285 00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:38,845 Your husband was acting kind of weird today. 286 00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:42,022 You sure you're not thinking about yourhusband? 287 00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:44,807 No. He was acting all sketchy. 288 00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:46,635 Almost like he was guilty or something. 289 00:12:46,678 --> 00:12:47,984 Oh. Well, that doesn't mean anything. 290 00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:50,987 I mean, Leonard has resting guilt face. 291 00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:52,989 Yeah, it's-it's like, "What are you guilty about, Leonard?" 292 00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:55,731 "Nothing." "Well, then, tell it to your face." [scoffs] 293 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,864 Are you okay? 294 00:12:57,907 --> 00:12:59,735 I'm so okay, yeah. 295 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,042 Then why are you acting guilty now? 296 00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:04,871 Okay, look, Leonard knows 297 00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:07,221 that you and Sheldon decided to take the high road, 298 00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:08,831 so he went to Kripke for you. 299 00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,833 But that just means you didn't do anything wrong, 300 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,661 and now you don't risk losing to those idiots. 301 00:13:12,704 --> 00:13:14,532 Why did you tell me? 302 00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:16,970 Now that I know, I'm implicated. 303 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:18,014 But you wanted me to. 304 00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:20,234 I also wanted you to be my jester 305 00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,845 at the Renaissance Fair, but that didn't happen. 306 00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:25,239 I wanted to be a princess. 307 00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:28,764 There was only one princess, and it was me! 308 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,941 Fine. I'm sorry I told you. 309 00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:33,900 And I forgive you. 310 00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:36,772 'Cause that's what a princess would do. 311 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:40,123 Kudos on the meatballs. 312 00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,169 They're nice and round. 313 00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,476 Thanks. Yeah. 314 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,478 They're much better than those prolate spheroids 315 00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:50,090 you used to pass off as balls. 316 00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,787 Okay. 317 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,616 Are you all right? You seem distracted. 318 00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:58,228 Yeah, sorry. I'm just trying to figure something out. 319 00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,056 Is it what to get me for our anniversary? 320 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,884 'Cause I'll give you a hint: it's already 321 00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:05,322 in my Amazon basket. Just click "buy now." 322 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:07,977 I filled out the gift card for you. 323 00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:11,024 Apparently, I'm the light of your life. 324 00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:15,071 Sheldon, if someone were gonna do something 325 00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:17,117 ethically murky on your behalf, 326 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,162 would you rather know about it 327 00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:22,296 or not know about it to retain your innocence? 328 00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:26,474 Well, now that I know there's a thing to know, I have to know. 329 00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:29,042 Can't help myself; I'm a fact addict. 330 00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:30,957 That's not a real thing. 331 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,046 And that's a fact. 332 00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:37,702 Leonard, I know what you're planning to do, 333 00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:39,008 and I said I didn't want to do it. 334 00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:40,053 What? You told him? 335 00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:41,619 Well, you told me. 336 00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:44,100 Yeah, that's-that's probably where you heard it. 337 00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:47,016 You're not doing anything wrong. 338 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,757 That's the point. I'm doing it. 339 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,498 Yeah, but it's still wrong. 340 00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:52,152 Well, so is you and Amy not getting 341 00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:53,718 the recognition for your discovery. 342 00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:55,938 And if that means I have to do something shady 343 00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:58,245 so you don't have to, I'm okay with that. 344 00:14:58,288 --> 00:14:59,855 But we're not. 345 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,640 I mean, it's sweet that you want to help, but we don't want you 346 00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,860 compromising your integrity for us. 347 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,210 Wait, what-- really? 348 00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:09,647 I thought we were just worried about looking bad. 349 00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,823 It could be both. 350 00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:13,390 Okay. 351 00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:16,611 But I'm gonna go with my reason. Yours is too complicated. 352 00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:21,659 Hey. 353 00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,009 Hey. 354 00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:26,534 Listen, I did something kind of stupid today. 355 00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,884 Okay. 356 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,451 I went to The Cheesecake Factory 357 00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:33,933 to try to figure out who that waitress was. 358 00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:35,935 Howie.Don't worry, I didn't find out, 359 00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:38,850 because I realized I didn't even care. [chuckles] 360 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:41,331 W-While I was there, I started asking myself, 361 00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,203 "Why does this mean anything to me?" 362 00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:49,122 And... I guess the truth is it was all about my vanity. 363 00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:53,039 And why should I need to be validated by another woman 364 00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:58,174 liking me when the best woman in the world already loves me? 365 00:15:58,218 --> 00:15:59,523 [sighs] 366 00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:02,222 And I just wanted you to know that. 367 00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:03,832 [chuckles] 368 00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:05,225 The restaurant manager already called. 369 00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,357 You really creeped a lot of people out. 370 00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:12,362 And I regret that. [chuckles] 371 00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:15,322 Because the only woman I want to creep out 372 00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:17,150 is the mother of my children. 373 00:16:19,326 --> 00:16:22,198 Well, you're off to a good start. 374 00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:28,074 Thank you for meeting us. 375 00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:29,423 No problem. 376 00:16:29,466 --> 00:16:31,251 We never say no when someone wants to buy us lunch. 377 00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:33,688 We didn't say we were going to buy you lunch. 378 00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:35,690 Really? Apologies go down easier 379 00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:38,084 with free turkey club sandwiches. 380 00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:42,044 This isn't another apology. 381 00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,350 There's something we have to give you. 382 00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:45,178 Yes. 383 00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:49,399 Uh, we have proof that you plagiarized your thesis. 384 00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:52,054 It's why we invited you to this lunch. 385 00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:53,403 [gasps] We invited them. 386 00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:57,103 That's the confusion over who's paying. 387 00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:59,148 Hold on, are you blackmailing us? 388 00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,889 No, the opposite. 389 00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:04,023 We're blackmailing you? 390 00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:09,245 How are you up for a Nobel?! 391 00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:11,334 SHELDON: We're giving you this 392 00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:13,293 so that no one can use it against you, 393 00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:15,947 because we want to win on our own merits, 394 00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:17,688 not by tearing you down. 395 00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:20,082 So it's true? You really did this? 396 00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:21,257 It was years ago, and I was going through 397 00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:23,259 a very hard time.What hard time? 398 00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:26,349 I had to write a thesis, and I wasn't smart enough to do it. 399 00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,832 You realize my name is attached to yours. 400 00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:32,834 If this gets out, it ruins me, too. 401 00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:34,531 It's not gonna get out. 402 00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,011 [scoffs] You know what? Linda was right. 403 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,491 You're always looking for shortcuts. 404 00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:40,537 When did you talk to my ex-wife? 405 00:17:40,581 --> 00:17:41,756 She's not your ex-wife. 406 00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:43,018 You keep dragging your feet on those papers. 407 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:46,065 Well, I'm trying to get the lake house. 408 00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:47,327 You're not getting the lake house. 409 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,329 You're never getting the lake house. 410 00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:50,678 She picked it out, she decorated it. 411 00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:52,419 The lake house is hers. 412 00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:54,116 What is going on here? 413 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,379 I'm in love with Linda! 414 00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:01,297 You son of a bitch! 415 00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:08,043 [both grunting] 416 00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:12,656 That was my iced tea. 417 00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:21,056 [slurring]: Dr. Cooper, Dr. Fowler. 418 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,145 Just the guy I want to see. 419 00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:25,495 Are you drunk? 420 00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:28,455 I was, and then I still was. 421 00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:31,458 And now, I still was. 422 00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:34,156 Okay, can we help you? 423 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,115 Pemberton is out. 424 00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,507 Someone published all the information 425 00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,161 about his plagiarism. 426 00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:40,510 [whispers]: It was me. 427 00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:45,080 Someone else told Fermilab, and he lost his job. 428 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,429 [whispers]: Also me. 429 00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:48,170 And someone is 430 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:52,174 sleeping with his ex-wife and it's not me. 431 00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,263 I thought it was. 432 00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:57,048 Not anymore. Apparently, just because I'm better 433 00:18:57,092 --> 00:19:00,226 than her husband doesn't mean I'm as good as her contractor. 434 00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:04,055 Women, huh? 435 00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,361 I-I think you need to go. 436 00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:07,450 No, wait. Hear me out. 437 00:19:07,494 --> 00:19:09,278 Look, the three of us could team up. 438 00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:10,453 There's one small catch. 439 00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:12,194 Dr. Pemberton has been saying 440 00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:13,935 a lot of bad stuff about me. 441 00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:16,285 But don't worry, I couldn't possibly have done any of it, 442 00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:18,418 because I was with you guys the whole time. 443 00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:19,897 [whispers]: I did it. 444 00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:25,338 [stammers] Frankly, I don't know what Linda 445 00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:26,817 ever saw in either of them. 446 00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:36,871 Captioning sponsored by CBS 447 00:19:36,914 --> 00:19:40,875 WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 448 00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:44,879 and TOYOTA. 449 00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:48,926 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org