1
00:00:02,698 --> 00:00:04,526
All right,
Professor Proton fans,

2
00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:06,832
get ready to meet
Dr. Sheldon Cooper

3
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:10,358
and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler,
a pair of real-life scientists

4
00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:12,882
who may win the Nobel Prize.

5
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That's like
the Kids' Choice Award,

6
00:00:14,971 --> 00:00:19,323
but with more science
and less slime.

7
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:20,890
Hi, thanks for having us.

8
00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:22,152
Kids' Choice Award?

9
00:00:22,196 --> 00:00:23,936
Why would they let kids
choose anything?

10
00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:26,896
They're basically
human larvae.

11
00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:29,551
Well, they are kind of
our target audience.

12
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Greetings, children.

13
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Toys, am I right?

14
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He is. He has hundreds of them.

15
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So you two have
discovered something

16
00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:44,783
that a lot of people
are really excited about.

17
00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,263
[chuckles] We have.

18
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:47,917
Now, before
you explain it,

19
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,573
keep in mind that our
average viewer is this many.

20
00:00:51,616 --> 00:00:55,446
Okay, imagine you're
looking in a mirror.

21
00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:58,058
The image you see
looks just like you.

22
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That's called symmetrical.

23
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:02,584
Now imagine you have
a billion mirrors,

24
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and each of them reflects
one thing about you correctly

25
00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:08,111
and a billion things
about you incorrectly.

26
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And imagine the set
of incorrect things

27
00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:13,986
are floating in an abstract
n-dimensional hyperspace.

28
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Now imagine there was never
a mirror to begin with.

29
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Oh, was that
a doorbell?

30
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I didn't
hear anything.

31
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[doorbell rings]

32
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Huh, there it is again.

33
00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:29,828
Sheldon, why don't
you answer it?

34
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But I don't know who it is.

35
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Maybe it's a special guest who
I invited just to surprise you.

36
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Why don't you open it up
and find out.

37
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This is a terrible message
to send to children.

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Children, you never
open the door

39
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if you don't know
who's on the other side.

40
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You always make your
mommy or daddy do it

41
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while you hide under the bed
and try to imagine

42
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what your superhero name will be
when you avenge their deaths.

43
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I'll get it.

44
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But it can't be The Silver
Shadow-- that's mine.

45
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Hello.

46
00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:05,516
Captain on the bridge!
Captain on the bridge!

47
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You're William Shatner.

48
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You can call me Bill.

49
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Ooh, can I call you Captain?No.

50
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Please?
No.

51
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[whispers]:
Please?

52
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,484
Sure.

53
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And w-will you call me
Science Officer Cooper?

54
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This has got to stop.

55
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I think you know
how to make it stop.

56
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Put her there,
Science Officer Cooper.

57
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Put her there,
Science Officer Cooper.

58
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[Sheldon vomits]

59
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Oh, poor Shatner.

60
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Poor Shatner?
I have to eat lunch now.

61
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Look, Sheldon's
pretty embarrassed,

62
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so when he gets here,
we should...

63
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Make fun of him?
[chuckles]
A lot.

64
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Guys, don't you think
that's a little mean?

65
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Yeah.
Okay, just so we're
all on the same page.

66
00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:53,695
Yeah.

67
00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:55,131
Hello.
OTHERS:
Hey.

68
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So, Sheldon,
did you get

69
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William Shatner's autograph,
or maybe his dry cleaning bill?

70
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[chuckles]

71
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Very funny, get it all out.

72
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:04,271
Like you did on William Shatner?

73
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Raj, do you have
something to add?

74
00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:11,452
You brought shame upon
yourself and your family.

75
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It's not funny,
but it's true.

76
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I will admit the meeting
did not go the way I wanted.

77
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[à la Shatner]:
Because you barfed where no man
has barfed before?

78
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Well, the next time I meet him,
it will go better.

79
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Next time? What makes you think
there's gonna be a next time?

80
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Wil will give me another chance.
He thinks the world of me.

81
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Aw. One of the reasons
I love you

82
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is you actually believe that.

83
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Thank you.

84
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

85
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♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

86
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♪ The Earth began to cool

87
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♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

88
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♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids♪

89
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♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

90
00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:58,760
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

91
00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:00,370
♪ Bang!♪

92
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,426
Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton.

93
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Wil Wheaton.

94
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[doorbell rings]

95
00:04:20,651 --> 00:04:22,087
Wil Wheaton.

96
00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:23,306
[doorbell rings]Wil Wheaton.

97
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:24,307
[doorbell rings]

98
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,875
Wil Wheaton.

99
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Now's not a good time, Sheldon.

100
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For what?
You.

101
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I need to apologize.

102
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Apology accepted.
MAN:
Wil, come on,

103
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I cast fireball,

104
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you need to roll
your dexterity save.

105
00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:41,324
I'll be right there.

106
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:43,631
Are you playing
Dungeons & Dragons?

107
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No.
MAN 2:
Would you hurry up,

108
00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:47,156
man, the map says
this dungeon's

109
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,985
full of dragons.

110
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Still no.Who are you playing with?

111
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Ugh... it's just some friends,
you don't know them.

112
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SHATNER:
Wheaton, get back here.

113
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Hobgoblins
are at the gate,

114
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and you're at the door
buying Girl Scout Cookies.

115
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:06,349
Is that William Shat...?Nope.

116
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:13,400
Hey, you guys want to read
my fan fiction mash-up,

117
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"Captain Marvelous Mrs. Maisel"?

118
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Nope.
No.
Certainly not.

119
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You don't even know
what it's about.

120
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Is it about
a superhero

121
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who finds her voice
by doing stand-up?

122
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That's so much better
than what I had.

123
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Mine is just a Jewish girl
that flies.

124
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I'd read that.

125
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Guys, guys,
Wil Wheaton

126
00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:37,989
hosts a secret
celebrity D&D game.

127
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How do you know?Who was there?

128
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Why are you damp?

129
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I was trying to peek
in Wil's window,

130
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and he turned the sprinklers on.

131
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,478
Oh, that means they
must be really famous.

132
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I'm almost positive
I heard William Shatner.

133
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I wonder who else is playing.

134
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I-I bet we can use graph theory
to determine who Wil knows

135
00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:58,836
and who is likely to play D&D.Yes.

136
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Okay, obviously he's connected
to the whole Next Gencast...

137
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So this is the rest
of our night, huh?

138
00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:09,151
Oh, no,

139
00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:11,501
this is the rest of our lives.

140
00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:17,768
And Josh Brolin gets
you to every Avenger.

141
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,901
Kevin Smith's
in this article

142
00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:21,424
about celebrities who play D&D.

143
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:22,947
Oh! A-And he was
on Wil's podcast,

144
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so they know each other.

145
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G-Go on his Instagram,

146
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see if you can find anything.

147
00:06:27,212 --> 00:06:29,040
Yeah, he-he posted something
an hour ago:

148
00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:30,564
"#GameNight."

149
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That looks like Wil's house.

150
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,959
William Shatner,

151
00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:37,179
Kevin Smith--
who else could be there?

152
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:39,573
Do you see what I see
over his shoulder?

153
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:42,358
Is that a ghost?

154
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,492
I think it's Stuart.

155
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:51,193
That isStuart.
What-What's he doing there?

156
00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:53,195
Maybe he died in Wil's house

157
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and he can't leave
until he solves his own murder.

158
00:06:57,808 --> 00:07:01,203
Why would Wil invite
Stuart and not us?

159
00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:03,074
I know the answer.
Yeah.

160
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We all know the answer.

161
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,701
Hey, guys.

162
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:23,225
You're home late.

163
00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:25,270
Uh, yeah.

164
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I had a crazy night.
I went to the pharmacy.

165
00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:32,147
I like to be there when
the new decongestants drop.

166
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Cut the crap.
We know where you were.

167
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:35,890
We know what
you were doing.

168
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:39,850
Yeah, I just told you. I was
at CVS breathing my ass off.

169
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,243
Oh, you were breathing,
all right.

170
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:43,201
You were breathing the
rarefied air of celebrities.

171
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I don't know what
you're talking about.

172
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:45,682
Then why are
you trembling?

173
00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:47,510
I'm always trembling.

174
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,381
We know you were
at Wil's D&D game.

175
00:07:49,425 --> 00:07:50,600
We saw you on Instagram.

176
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,254
We just want to know
how you got invited.

177
00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:56,388
I can't talk about it or they
won't invite me back next week.

178
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:58,042
So there's another
game next week.

179
00:07:58,086 --> 00:08:00,218
I didn't mean to say that.

180
00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:02,046
Who's in it?I can't tell you!

181
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:04,527
How do we get invited?I don't know!

182
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:07,051
How many hit dice are they
playing the wereboar as having?

183
00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:10,751
12d8 + 24--
I mean, I don't know!

184
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,625
[phone ringing]

185
00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,410
Hey, Stuart.

186
00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:20,500
I don't want to play anymore.
It's too much pressure.

187
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:24,504
Why, what happened?I've-I've said too much.

188
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,244
You haven't said anything.

189
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:29,421
Not to you, to them.Who's them?

190
00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:32,207
Ah! Now I havesaid too much!

191
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:37,255
But y-you blocked
your number, right?

192
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:38,430
Relax,

193
00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:41,912
this is not my first
creepy phone call.

194
00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:45,525
It's like riding a bike...
slowly past a girl's house.

195
00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,310
WHEATON [over phone]:
Hello.

196
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:49,529
[imitating Shatner]:
Wil,

197
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,182
Bill Shatner here.

198
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:55,839
Is this Howard?

199
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:59,495
Of course not. It-It's Shatner.

200
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:03,151
If you don't believe me, ask my
good friend, Christopher Walken.

201
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:05,936
[imitating Walken]:
Hello, Bill and I are just

202
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:09,418
hanging out...

203
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:11,463
at The Polo Lounge.

204
00:09:11,507 --> 00:09:15,076
Mr. Shatner, Mr. Walken,
here are your martinis.[glass dings]

205
00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:16,381
[whispering in normal voice]:
What are you doing?

206
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:18,079
I'm filling out the world.You're ruining it.

207
00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:19,689
No, he's not.

208
00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:22,562
Thanks, Wil.

209
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,701
Sheldon, why are you walking
everywhere? Just get a horse.

210
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:34,922
I had a horse.
It got hit by a train.

211
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,271
Get another one.

212
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:37,751
I can't just replace Chauncey.

213
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:39,840
I'm still in the
grieving process.

214
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,625
[phone ringing]

215
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:44,192
Hey.

216
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:46,455
Hey, Leonard, I have an opening
in my D&D game next week,

217
00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:48,588
and I was wondering if you
were interested in playing.

218
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,154
Well, yes, thank you.

219
00:09:50,198 --> 00:09:51,721
Okay, great.

220
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:54,028
Now, here's the thing,
you can't tell anyone.

221
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,812
I'm serious,
not Howard, not Raj,

222
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:57,509
and certainly not Sheldon.

223
00:09:57,553 --> 00:09:58,902
Okay.

224
00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:00,295
I'm really sorry
to put you in a position

225
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:01,296
where you have to lie
to your friends...

226
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:03,298
See you there!

227
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:07,302
You come face to face
with a massive monster

228
00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:08,869
with a gaping maw

229
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:13,830
full of teeth, three huge legs,
and flailing tentacles.

230
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:16,093
What do you do?

231
00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:19,401
Fellas, it looks like
we're facing a, an otyugh.

232
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,057
Here's the plan...

233
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,233
Hold on there, Bill.

234
00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:26,800
Now what, Kareem?

235
00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:31,805
How do we know
it's not a neo-otyugh?

236
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:33,328
Same way I know
the difference

237
00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:35,025
between an owlbear
and a bugbear.

238
00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,984
Does that answer
your question?

239
00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:39,421
No.

240
00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:44,556
Look, there's one way
to settle this:

241
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,123
we chop it up
and look at the pieces.

242
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:49,039
Oh, come on, why do you always
got to attack everything?

243
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,388
Why can't we just try
talking to it?

244
00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:54,566
Big surprise, Podcast
here wants to talk.

245
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,656
What do you think, Leonard?

246
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:04,533
I think this is the greatest day
of my entire life.

247
00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:08,102
It's all right, buddy,
one day you'll meet a girl.

248
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,329
Hey, how was your lecture?

249
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:19,504
Oh, it was so good.

250
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,811
I-I-I mean, it-it started great,

251
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:24,292
and then the, the middle
was great,

252
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:25,946
and then the ending was like...
[imitates explosion]

253
00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:26,990
So great.

254
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:33,170
Leonard, if you went to House
of Pies again, just say it.

255
00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:35,651
[stammers]
Wait, if you think I'm lying,

256
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:36,957
why do you think
I'm eating pies?

257
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,699
Why don't you think I'm...
having an affair?

258
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:43,137
Listen, i-it's fine, just
next time, bring me a slice.

259
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:46,706
Okay, well, if you
really want to know,

260
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:48,272
I'll tell you where I was.

261
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:51,014
I was at Wil's D&D game,
but that's all I can say.

262
00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:53,713
Oh, fun.
Were there famous people there?

263
00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:57,760
Ah, sorry, I-I-I can't
tell you that.

264
00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:59,719
Okay, well, yes,

265
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:03,635
but I-I-I-I can't
tell you who.

266
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,637
Well, no, I-I can
tell you Shatner,

267
00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:07,814
but that's only because
you already knew that one.

268
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:09,467
Well, I'm glad you had fun.

269
00:12:09,511 --> 00:12:11,034
Yeah.

270
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,384
Ugh, I wish I could tell you
who else was there.

271
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:15,473
[chuckles]
I can't, I promised.

272
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:18,041
Yeah, if it makes you feel
better, I couldn't care less.

273
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:20,391
That's true,

274
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:22,698
you don't care, so there's
no harm in telling you.

275
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,482
Okay, you really
don't have to.

276
00:12:24,526 --> 00:12:27,050
All right,
I'll tell you. Uh...

277
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:28,835
[stammers]
Kevin Smith was there,

278
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:32,577
and-and, uh, this really
tall guy named Kareem.

279
00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:35,537
Wait-wait,
K-Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?

280
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,758
I don't know, it was, uh,
Kareem something Jabbar.

281
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,500
How do you know him?

282
00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:44,111
How do you not know him?

283
00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:46,722
Well, I know him now
'cause he was there.

284
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:47,723
Wow.

285
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,639
That is so cool.

286
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:52,293
Oh, a-and that, uh,
the guy that played

287
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:53,729
the werewolf on-on True Blood,

288
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,558
he was there.Wh-- Joe Manganiello?

289
00:12:56,601 --> 00:13:01,215
Uh, yeah.From Magic Mike?

290
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:03,870
What's that?

291
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:06,046
Okay, okay,

292
00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:10,572
did he look... like this?

293
00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:13,357
He had his clothes on,
but, yeah.

294
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:14,750
[sighs]

295
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,404
I can't believe you
met Joe Manganiello.

296
00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:17,709
Is he nice?
Oh, he's so nice.

297
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:20,756
I-I-I rolled my dice
underneath the couch,

298
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,064
and he just lifted
it up, one hand.

299
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:27,067
Oh, I-I bet he did.

300
00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:31,767
Hi. Okay, can you guys
keep a secret?

301
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:32,899
Yeah.
Sure.

302
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:35,379
Good, 'cause I can't.

303
00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:37,555
Leonard played
Dungeons & Dragons

304
00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:39,035
with the hot guy
from Magic Mike.

305
00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:42,691
I never got to see that movie.Seriously?

306
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,171
Yeah, Howie made us leave

307
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:46,260
as soon as he realized
it wasn't about magic.

308
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:50,873
Well, I have seen that movie
one or seven times,

309
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,919
and trust me, it is magic.

310
00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:57,053
Which guy?
That one.

311
00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:59,708
Abracadabra.

312
00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:04,452
Hey, you know what was fun?

313
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:07,281
That time we played
Dungeons & Dragons.

314
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:11,415
That was fun.
We should play that more.

315
00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:15,680
Sorry, what now?

316
00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:22,949
Hey, what are you guys
doing here?

317
00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:25,473
Oh, I, uh, think Sheldon
might have left something.

318
00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:27,649
Oh, you mean, besides his lunch?

319
00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:29,390
[laughter]

320
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:33,524
You are so funny, Wil.

321
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:36,832
We were just talking
about how funny you are.

322
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,573
Yeah, Leonard told you,
didn't he?

323
00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:40,053
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Yup.
Yeah.

324
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:41,750
It's Manganiello?

325
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,360
Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

326
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:44,666
Feel good about yourselves?

327
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,711
Nope.
No.
Yeah.

328
00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:51,716
Oh, we're going
with no? No.

329
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:56,678
Hey, guys.

330
00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:58,549
What are you
smiling about?

331
00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,812
What? This is my regular face.

332
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:02,771
No, it's not.

333
00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:05,730
Y-Your regular face
is more like this...

334
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:12,563
No, no, i-it's-it's more
in the eyebrows, like this...

335
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:18,134
[chuckles]
Okay, make your jokes.

336
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:19,570
I'm still in a great mood.

337
00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:22,095
[phone ringing]

338
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:24,793
Hey.

339
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:26,229
Wait, what?

340
00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:30,103
Why?

341
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,932
Oh, come on, but...

342
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:37,719
O-Okay, fine.

343
00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:40,722
Huh, Raj was right,
it is more in the eyebrows.

344
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,246
What was that all about?

345
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:45,161
Wil kicked me out
of his D&D game.

346
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:48,643
You were
in Wil's D&D game?

347
00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:50,558
With William Shatner?And you didn't tell us?

348
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:53,343
I'm sorry,
Wil made me promise not to.

349
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:54,997
I thought
we were friends.

350
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:57,304
Oh, come on, you guys
would do the same thing.

351
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:59,045
No, we wouldn't!
I told you when I was

352
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:00,698
in spin class with
Scarlett Johansson.

353
00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,744
It didn't even turn out
to be Scarlett Johansson.

354
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:05,573
Well, that's her
fault, not mine!

355
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:06,878
It doesn't matter

356
00:16:06,922 --> 00:16:09,664
because Penny blabbed about it
and now I'm out.

357
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,755
So there's an open seat.

358
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,584
Wil!
Wil Wheaton!

359
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:18,629
Open! Open!

360
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:22,372
No. No. No.

361
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:23,852
Hell no.

362
00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:27,377
Look, we know Leonard is out.
You need to fill a seat.

363
00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:29,771
It should be one of us.

364
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:31,381
Or give me another chance.

365
00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:33,905
I think me and Joe Manganiello
were really hitting it off.

366
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:36,952
Joe Manganiello was there?From Magic Mike?

367
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,650
You guys suck.

368
00:16:39,694 --> 00:16:41,652
Agreed. You guys suck.
Let's go, Wil.

369
00:16:41,696 --> 00:16:43,306
No.

370
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,005
All of you.

371
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,919
You're just
trying to use me

372
00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:49,747
to get close
to my famous friends.

373
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,401
Do you know how
that makes me feel?

374
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:53,621
Flattered? [chuckles]

375
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:55,623
Used.

376
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:59,018
I was gonna
guess that.

377
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:01,063
One of the worst things
about being a celebrity

378
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:04,414
is you never know if people
like you for you.

379
00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:07,896
Well, thanks
for letting me know.

380
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:09,376
[sighs]

381
00:17:09,419 --> 00:17:12,074
You're right, that was
really crappy of us.

382
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:15,904
Yeah, I guess we just got
caught up in the excitement.

383
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:18,820
We're sorry, Wil.
We do like you for you.

384
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,430
And if it makes
you feel

385
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:22,650
any better, I don't even really
consider you a celebrity.

386
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:30,788
Should we go or do you want
to wait for the sprinklers?

387
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:40,146
Guys, I-I still feel
a little bad about Wil.

388
00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:41,538
Me, too.

389
00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:44,889
Yeah. We should invite him
to come play with us.

390
00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:47,109
Ask him to bring
some chips

391
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,676
because we're all out.

392
00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:50,678
[stammers]
Hey, Wil, this is Leonard.

393
00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:51,940
[gasps]
Make it Bugles.

394
00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:53,463
No, no, no, no, no,
pretzel sticks.

395
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:55,030
No, no, no, Bugles.

396
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,989
We're gonna play some D&D

397
00:17:58,033 --> 00:17:59,295
and thought you might
want to join us.

398
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:00,557
Thank you, Leonard, but actually

399
00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:02,255
I can't do it tonight.

400
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:04,257
Uh, how about another time?

401
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:07,129
Okay, great. Thanks. Bye.

402
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:09,131
Okay, where were we?

403
00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:16,573
I was about to go all
Wrath of Khanon the ogres.

404
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:18,140
Oh, man, that's it.

405
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:21,012
Put another dollar
in the Star Trekjar, Bill.

406
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,537
Worth it.

407
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:29,108
Speaking of putting
dollars in things...

408
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,591
I loved you
in Magic Mike.

409
00:18:34,635 --> 00:18:36,680
[chuckles]
Thanks. [chuckles]

410
00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:38,291
Switch places with me.

411
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:43,861
Are we playing musical chairs
or Dungeons & Dragons?

412
00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:47,343
Yeah, let's teach that ogre
what my broadsword tastes like.

413
00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:50,694
I like your moxie.

414
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:53,654
Aw, and I like
your grandpa words.

415
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:03,098
My dad and I watched you win
back-to-back championships.

416
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:07,320
And I watched you sniff Joe's
hair when he wasn't looking.

417
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:13,717
Thank you again for inviting us,
and don't worry,

418
00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:15,197
we won't tell the guys.

419
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,721
You know what, why don't
you tell the guys?

420
00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:19,549
In fact, let's all
take a picture

421
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:21,160
and send it to
them right now.

422
00:19:23,031 --> 00:19:26,730
[phones buzzing]

423
00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:28,602
That's weird.

424
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:35,565
We deserve that.

425
00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,393
Captioning sponsored by
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426
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:40,570
Captioned by
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