1
00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:04,091
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...

2
00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:06,267
Uh, we sort of have another
reason for asking you here.

3
00:00:07,398 --> 00:00:09,096
We want to have a baby,

4
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:11,054
but we can't do it
on our own.

5
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:12,055
Okay, whoa, whoa.

6
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:13,274
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

7
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,102
Yeah, this has been
such a nice evening.

8
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:18,061
Let's all just stop before
anyone says any more things.

9
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,497
Leonard, would you be
the father of our baby?

10
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,673
Oh, you said a thing.

11
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:26,461
Thank you, guys, again
for agreeing to do this.

12
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:28,724
Yeah, it means
so much to us.

13
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:30,421
Ah, we're happy
we can help.

14
00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:33,076
Yeah, and we don't find it
weird at all.

15
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,773
It's a little weird
for us, too.

16
00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:36,949
I mean, instead of our baby
looking like Zack,

17
00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:39,343
it's gonna look
like Leonard.

18
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:42,564
Or Penny if it's a girl.

19
00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,176
No, no, it's not gonna look...

20
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,266
Sure.

21
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:51,529
But I promise,

22
00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:54,184
we're gonna be
really good parents.
Mm-hmm.

23
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:55,664
Oh, we know you will.

24
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,318
So, what is the next step?Yeah.

25
00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:59,755
Well, Leonard, we were hoping
you'd go in on Monday.

26
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:00,799
Okay.

27
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,236
And they say,
for the best results,

28
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:03,933
between now and then,
you shouldn't have sex.

29
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,413
ZACK:
Sorry, bro,

30
00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:07,806
I know it seems impossible
to go for five days without,

31
00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:10,244
but I believe in you.

32
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:13,464
Five days?
My record is 24 years.

33
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,207
Uh, I think that also means
no flying solo.

34
00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:18,208
Oh.

35
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:21,733
Then my record is 14 years.

36
00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:24,040
And, well, we're really
hoping for a son.

37
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,347
So just, like, keep that in mind
when you're in there.

38
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:30,394
Yeah, just think, "Little
boys, little boys."

39
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:35,530
Still just
totally not weird.

40
00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:37,184
Hello.

41
00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:39,186
Oh, hey, Sheldon. We're kind of
in the middle of something.

42
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,449
Oh, I won't be a moment.
I just need to grab a book

43
00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:43,015
off a high shelf, which I can do

44
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:45,496
because I am both
tall and smart.

45
00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:49,152
Sheldon, come home!

46
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,763
They don't want
to have your baby!

47
00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:53,287
I don't know
what you're talking about.

48
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,463
Oh-oh, dear, I think
I got something in my eye.

49
00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:57,943
My piercing, blue eye.

50
00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:01,469
Sheldon!
Fine.

51
00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:05,473
I've also never had a cavity
and I don't have asthma...

52
00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:09,085
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

53
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:12,349
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

54
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:14,090
♪ The Earth began to cool

55
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,745
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

56
00:02:16,788 --> 00:02:19,226
♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids♪

57
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,967
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

58
00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:23,839
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

59
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,536
♪ Bang!♪

60
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:36,504
[sighs] So, this week
would have been my wedding

61
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:39,811
if Anu and I hadn't decided
to slow things down.

62
00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:42,727
Oh, yeah, I would have
forgotten, except for those

63
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:45,687
nonrefundable airline tickets
to India I bought.

64
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:46,862
I'm sorry.

65
00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:50,692
No, no. What's $3,000
between friends?

66
00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:52,215
Yeah, I probably
would've just

67
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,826
thrown it away on health care
for my children.

68
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:58,308
Uh, if you still want to go,
you can go to India

69
00:02:58,352 --> 00:03:01,224
and help my dad eat
all the nonrefundable sushi.

70
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,357
Indian sushi?

71
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,360
I need a change of underwear
just thinking about that.

72
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:09,624
I really think
we made the right decision.

73
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,756
Agreed, although
I did have

74
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,542
a pretty awesome bachelor party
planned for this weekend.

75
00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:15,543
Really? What was it?

76
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:16,892
Well, I used my NASA connections

77
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:19,024
to get us four seats
on that plane

78
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:21,375
that lets you experience
weightlessness.

79
00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:24,465
The Vomit Comet.
That is so cool.

80
00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:26,728
I've always wanted
to experience weightlessness.

81
00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:28,730
The closest I ever came
was that time

82
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,298
I accidentally set my scale
to kilograms.

83
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:36,128
I know, it would've
been fun, but, hey,

84
00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:39,871
the next time you decide to
marry a woman you barely know.

85
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:41,264
We could still go.

86
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,397
You know, make it
a guys' weekend.

87
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,747
Yeah. [chuckles]
All right, let's do it.

88
00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:48,489
Great. It'll be like
the good old days.

89
00:03:48,532 --> 00:03:51,970
You mean when we were all sad,
desperate and horribly alone?

90
00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,800
I remember it more fondly.

91
00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:01,241
Leonard, if you had
food on your face,

92
00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,372
would you want me to tell you?

93
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:05,549
Where? Did I get it?

94
00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,986
Oh, no, not now;
it was last week.

95
00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:10,728
I didn't know
whether or not to tell you,

96
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,600
but everyone was staring.

97
00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:15,298
For the record,
it was right there.

98
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,953
And it was Nutella.

99
00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:18,997
Thanks.

100
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,999
You looked like
a hazelnut Hitler.

101
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:24,916
Hey, who wants to hear
some exciting news?

102
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,309
Oh, what's up?

103
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:29,573
This weekend, I got us
four seats on the Vomit Comet.

104
00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:32,446
Oh, you lost me at "vomit,"
you lost me again at "comet,"

105
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:35,275
and to be honest, I was
on the fence at "us."

106
00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,626
Yeah, I can't go either.
Penny's dad is visiting

107
00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:40,715
from Nebraska, and I haven't
seen him for a while.

108
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,804
Oh, that's nice
you guys get along.

109
00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:45,502
I forget, Howard, does your
father-in-law still hate you?

110
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:49,114
WOLOWITZ:
He doesn't hate me.

111
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:50,681
He's just disappointed

112
00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:53,293
that I'm not
any other man on the planet.

113
00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:58,123
That's how I feel about
Ben Affleck as Batman.

114
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:00,343
Well, these two are out.

115
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:01,692
There goes
our guys' weekend.

116
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,999
Okay, so let's make it
a couples' weekend.

117
00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:05,479
I'll bring Anu,
you bring Bernadette.

118
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:06,741
I'm not sure
Bernie would like it.

119
00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:08,743
Maybe I'll invite
Stuart or Bert.

120
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,222
SHELDON:
Oh, go with Bert!

121
00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:12,921
He's huge. It'd be fun to
watch him float around.

122
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,750
Like that time the
Underdog balloon

123
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:18,318
got away at the
Macy's Parade.

124
00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:22,844
Hey. What are those?

125
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:24,236
Oh, vitamins.

126
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:27,370
Zack wants me to take them
to increase my virility.

127
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,807
Zack used the word "virility"?

128
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,595
He may have said
"wiener power."

129
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:36,858
[knock on door]

130
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,338
Okay, that's my dad.

131
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,644
Now, remember, do not bring up
any baby stuff, all right?

132
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,820
Not me not wanting one,
not you having one with Zack.

133
00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:44,518
Got it.And if he brings it up,
change the subject

134
00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:46,171
to literally anything else.I got it.

135
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:49,392
But not the Cornhuskers.
Do not discuss the Cornhuskers.

136
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:52,308
Is that a sports team?

137
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,918
Never mind, you're good.

138
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,400
Daddy! Hi.Hey, Slugger.

139
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:59,054
[chuckles]
Aw.

140
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:01,796
Hey, Wyatt.
Leonard.

141
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,754
Hey, that's a hell
of a handshake.

142
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:06,583
Ah, well, you know,
I've been taking vitamins.

143
00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:09,281
Dad, uh, come on in,
sit down.

144
00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:11,414
Can I get you something
to drink? Maybe a beer?

145
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,242
Sure, if you're having one.Okay.

146
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:15,287
And why wouldn't you,
since you're not pregnant?

147
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,422
Um...

148
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:22,033
Leonard wants to have a baby
with my ex-boyfriend Zack.

149
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:30,433
How 'bout those Cornhuskers?

150
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:38,354
Hey, would you mind if Raj
and I went away this weekend?

151
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:42,010
Well, it is important for you
two to keep the spark alive.

152
00:06:42,053 --> 00:06:45,274
No, just the bachelor party
I had planned.

153
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:46,928
I thought we'd do it anyway.

154
00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:48,408
Oh, so a guys' weekend?

155
00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:50,453
Kinda. I mean, Sheldon
and Leonard couldn't make it,

156
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,803
so Raj invited Anu
and I asked Stuart.

157
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:57,112
Wait, you invited Stuart
before me?

158
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,766
Actually, I invited Bert
before Stuart,

159
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:01,464
but I don't know why
I just told you that.

160
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,118
Why didn't you invite me?

161
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,773
Because [chuckles]
I know you.

162
00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:09,254
You don't want to float
weightless in an airplane.

163
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:10,473
What are you
talking about?

164
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,083
I love doing crazy
stuff like that.

165
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:15,870
Bernie, you got sick from
the teacup ride at Disneyland.

166
00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,611
Lots of people do.

167
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:20,222
We were still in line.

168
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:21,876
So you don't want me to go?

169
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:24,661
No, I want you to go
if you're gonna have fun.

170
00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:27,142
I don't want you to go
if you're gonna be miserable

171
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:29,187
and ruin it for everyone.

172
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,886
Which is a long way of saying

173
00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:33,540
I want you to go!

174
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:38,849
[quietly]: I think this is
going pretty good, huh?

175
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:44,681
Maybe for you.
You threw me under the bus.

176
00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,640
Oh, I'm sorry. I panicked.
He was judging me.

177
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,424
Well, yeah, now he's judging me.

178
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,817
I know. It worked.

179
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:54,604
You two might want to talk
louder or quieter.

180
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:57,346
In high school, he could
hear me open a can of beer

181
00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:58,695
in my closet
under a blanket.

182
00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:05,485
So let me get this
straight, Leonard.

183
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,008
She doesn't want
to have your baby,

184
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:10,011
but her dumbbell
ex-boyfriend does.

185
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:13,362
Well, I-- no, I wouldn't
say it like that.

186
00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:14,711
How would you say it?

187
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:16,321
[sighs]

188
00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:18,585
Uh, same words, just less angry.

189
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:21,936
Well, I don't know
about Los Angeles,

190
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:24,982
but in Nebraska,
that's kind of strange.

191
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:28,464
It's strange here, too,
and we have a bakery for dogs.

192
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,379
And you're okay with this?

193
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:31,859
I support my husband.Thank you.

194
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:33,121
But, you know,
if you think differently,

195
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:34,383
you should feel free
to say so.

196
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:37,865
You know, just like, "Ah!"
Make a scene.

197
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:41,564
Okay, look, they can't
have kids of their own,

198
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:42,913
and they like
that I'm smart,

199
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:44,567
and they want that
for their child.

200
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:45,437
No, I get it.

201
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:46,308
You do?

202
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:47,527
Sure.

203
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,746
Back on the farm,
we had a prize stallion.

204
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:53,968
We didn't let that just go to
waste; we put him out to stud.

205
00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:58,538
No, no, this is... this is
a little different than that...

206
00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:01,410
No, no, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey.

207
00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:03,847
Uh, you were comparing me
to a prize stud. Go on.

208
00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,552
You have fun with

209
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:13,901
your new best buddy?

210
00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:15,642
Hey, it's your fault
your dad likes me.

211
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:17,644
You dated idiots
your whole life.

212
00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:20,342
Well, he was right
about one thing.

213
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:23,563
I am married to a stud.[chuckles]

214
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:25,608
Mm. Really?

215
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:27,349
Yeah, I felt so bad
about selling you out,

216
00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,612
I thought I would
maybe make it up to you.

217
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,135
[both chuckle]

218
00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:33,529
[moans]

219
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,270
[stammers]
Wait, wait. I can't.

220
00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:36,663
I mean, I want to,

221
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,621
but I'm not supposed to
for the next three days.

222
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:41,581
Oh. That's right.
I forgot. [groans]

223
00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:44,061
All right, well, guess
I'll just read a little

224
00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:46,107
and then-- I don't
know-- go to sleep.

225
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:53,375
Really? That's what
you're sleeping in?

226
00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:54,594
Oh, you want me to take it off?

227
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,204
No.

228
00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:57,640
All right.

229
00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:59,990
Well, then pipe down
and let me read my comic book.

230
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:03,385
Penny, I-I know
what you're doing.

231
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:04,255
Just please stop.

232
00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:06,475
Ooh, listen to this.

233
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:07,694
"Bam.

234
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:08,869
"Pow.

235
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:11,088
Take that, Batman."

236
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:15,919
Thanks again for
doing this, guys.

237
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:18,052
Of course.So excited.

238
00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:19,793
I'm glad you came.

239
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:22,012
Howard made it sound like
this wasn't your kind of thing.

240
00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:23,710
He did say that, but here I am.

241
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:25,712
So what does he know?

242
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,801
I'm sorry. I just...
[scoffs]

243
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,803
didn't think you'd enjoy
plummeting to the Earth

244
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,152
at 400 miles an hour.

245
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:32,893
I love going fast,

246
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:34,242
unlike Grandma here,

247
00:10:34,285 --> 00:10:35,896
poking along
at 70 miles an hour.

248
00:10:35,939 --> 00:10:37,288
Am I right?

249
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:40,727
I've always wanted
to do this.

250
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:42,685
I'm an adrenaline junkie.

251
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,121
Roller coasters, snowboarding,

252
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:47,429
dating men
who bathe with their dogs.

253
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:50,345
It was during a drought.

254
00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,087
I'm a thrill-seeker, too.

255
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:55,176
I've had to pull back
since I became a mom,

256
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:57,744
but I'll still jump on the back
of a grocery cart

257
00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:00,834
and just roll
through the meat section.

258
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:03,097
And I'm married
to her,

259
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:05,795
which is quite
the ride.

260
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,333
[exhales]

261
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:51,014
[sputters]

262
00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:09,380
[clinking]

263
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,055
Amy?

264
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,930
There's something out here.

265
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,758
Just trap it
under a cup,

266
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:41,108
and I'll be there
in a minute.

267
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:44,633
I'll try, but
it's Leonard.

268
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,156
What?

269
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,810
[grunts]

270
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,813
Well, what is
he doing here?

271
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,380
I told you, if we left
pizza on the counter,

272
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,469
we'd attract
something.

273
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:56,950
Oh, hey, guys.

274
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,473
Sorry. I used my key.

275
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,301
I just needed
a place to crash.

276
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:01,824
Is everything okay?

277
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,173
Yeah, I...

278
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:05,132
had to get out of the apartment.

279
00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:08,309
My wife kept trying
to have sex with me.

280
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,528
Been there.

281
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,450
Why are you trying
to avoid having sex?

282
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:21,191
Well, we just did it
three weeks ago.I was talking

283
00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:22,845
to Leonard!

284
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:26,893
Well, I-I have to go
to the clinic

285
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,459
for Zack and Marissa on Monday,

286
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:31,245
and I'm supposed
to save myself until then.

287
00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:35,902
Sounds like maybe Penny's not
totally on board with that plan.

288
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,078
Well, she said she was.

289
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:42,082
But she also said
I looked dope.

290
00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:47,130
Honestly, I don't even
think I looked fly.

291
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:48,653
So you're willing
to go through with this,

292
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,786
even though
she clearly has reservations?

293
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,005
If she has a problem,

294
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:54,224
she should say something.

295
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,225
She tried to seduce you.

296
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:56,226
If that's not a cry for help,

297
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,967
I don't know what is.

298
00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,884
Penny doesn't want
to have kids.

299
00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,494
I respect that.

300
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:06,976
But this is my chance to
leave a part of me behind.

301
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:10,545
Okay, but this isn't
gonna make you a dad.

302
00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:12,982
It's gonna be
their baby, not yours.

303
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:14,723
Although,
someday,

304
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:16,725
if that kid wants
to know why he's short,

305
00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:19,206
nearsighted, and asthmatic...

306
00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,687
...he may hunt you down.

307
00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:29,607
Are you guys ready for the most
intense experience of your life?

308
00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:31,218
Yes.Definitely.

309
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:32,523
Not to brag, but
I'm an astronaut,

310
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,351
so I've been
weightless before.

311
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:36,440
Can be pretty scary.

312
00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:39,443
Please, I'm, like, 90 pounds.

313
00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:43,447
I'm weightless every time
I hold more than three balloons.

314
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:46,102
Okay, I just need you guys
to sign these waivers,

315
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,582
and then you
can go get changed.

316
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,410
There are a lot
of pages here.

317
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:52,195
Is this a waiver or a screenplay
you've been working on?

318
00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:55,068
I'm sure it's just
boilerplate.

319
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:57,853
Absolutely. It's to protect us
in case of injury.

320
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,595
It says, "Or death."

321
00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:04,947
Which is awesome.

322
00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:08,168
Done.Where are the
changing rooms?

323
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,605
Dressing rooms
are in the back.

324
00:15:10,648 --> 00:15:12,650
No peeking.

325
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,611
Here you go.

326
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,918
Okay. Should we go get changed?

327
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,920
Yeah. Hang on a second.

328
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,312
What?

329
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,097
Just--
I have two babies at home.

330
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,533
What am I doing?

331
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:27,187
If you don't want to do this,

332
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,579
then why'd you come?

333
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,103
To prove to Howard
that he doesn't know me as well

334
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,453
as he thinks he does.

335
00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:34,281
Looks like he does.

336
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:37,632
Unless I do it
and then he doesn't.

337
00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:40,852
Why not just be honest?

338
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,506
[sighs]
You're right.

339
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:44,508
I should be honest.

340
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:48,773
You owe me $3,000 for those
plane tickets to India!

341
00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:52,864
[cheering on TV]

342
00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,083
[sighs]

343
00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:55,998
Hey.

344
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:58,522
That was a long run.

345
00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:00,437
Yeah. Well,
I was in the zone.

346
00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:02,178
You know,
and then in a diner

347
00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:07,009
and then in a massage chair
at the mall where I fell asleep.

348
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:09,272
Are you avoiding me?

349
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,448
Well, I took a nap
next to Hot Dog on a Stick.

350
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:12,972
What do you think?

351
00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:18,020
I think you're mad at me
and Leonard,

352
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:21,284
but maybe... you're really mad
at yourself.

353
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,417
Why would I be
mad at myself?

354
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:27,029
'Cause you regret
this "no baby" plan of yours.

355
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,161
You know, it's
pretty crappy of you

356
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:29,466
to make me feel
bad about this.

357
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,425
I'm not trying
to make you feel bad.

358
00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:34,863
But... do you?

359
00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:37,039
Yes.

360
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,867
I feel like I'm
letting everybody down.

361
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,260
Hate disappointing Leonard,

362
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:42,479
but I really hate
disappointing you.

363
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,873
Oh, Slugger, you could
never disappoint me.

364
00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:50,792
Okay, your high school years
were a little rough.

365
00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:53,621
And I'm sorry about that.

366
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:55,014
There was you
sneaking out at night

367
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,972
and your boyfriends
sneaking out in the morning.

368
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,843
I said sorry.

369
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:00,889
That time you got drunk
and stole a horse.

370
00:17:00,932 --> 00:17:02,412
Yeah.

371
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:03,892
I was there.
I remember.

372
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,720
Parts of it.

373
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:08,114
But besides all that,

374
00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:11,073
being your dad is the best thing
ever happened to me.

375
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,902
What about
Randall and Lisa?

376
00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:17,384
They're okay.

377
00:17:17,427 --> 00:17:19,603
I just don't want you
to miss out.

378
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:21,605
I know.

379
00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:23,955
But if this is
really what you want--

380
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:25,740
or don't want--

381
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:27,350
I'm on your side.

382
00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:29,396
Thanks.

383
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:32,051
[door opens]

384
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:32,921
Hey.

385
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,096
Hey.

386
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,272
Uh, Wyatt, we need to talk.

387
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:37,969
Sure. What's up?

388
00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:41,060
I want you to back off.

389
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:44,454
You know? I-If Penny and I don't
have kids, that's between us.

390
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,456
So you need
to stay out of it.

391
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,241
Oh, Leonard, it's okay.
We talked. We're good.

392
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:50,765
Oh.

393
00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:57,293
Okay, you could've
stopped me sooner.

394
00:17:57,337 --> 00:17:59,078
Could've let
you go longer.

395
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,818
Uh-huh.

396
00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:02,733
You did great, Leonard.
Very forceful.

397
00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:04,387
Yeah?
[chuckles]

398
00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:08,087
I-I-I felt like my voice
was a little shaky there.

399
00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,916
Um...

400
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,528
Hey, I decided
to not go through

401
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:17,096
with this Zack
and Marissa thing.

402
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:18,314
Really?

403
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:20,142
But you were
so excited about it.I know.

404
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:21,839
But, um...

405
00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:24,146
I think I was just
fooling myself.

406
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:28,237
I-I would be heartbroken
if I had a kid out there

407
00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:30,326
and I wasn't his dad.

408
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,198
I know you would.

409
00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:34,025
[clicks tongue]
Yeah.

410
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,027
[inhales deeply]

411
00:18:36,071 --> 00:18:38,334
[quietly]: So, that thing
you wanted to do last night,

412
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:41,250
I'm available.

413
00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:43,557
I got real good hearing there,
stud.

414
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,953
All right,
everyone's suited up.

415
00:18:48,997 --> 00:18:50,694
Let's head out
to the tarmac!

416
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:52,609
Actually, one second.

417
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:55,482
Howie, I don't think
I should do this.

418
00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:56,831
Really?

419
00:18:56,874 --> 00:19:00,226
Well, I did
not see that coming.

420
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:03,185
Just-- We have kids,

421
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:05,753
and it's not smart to
put us both in danger.

422
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:06,754
That's a good point.

423
00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:08,277
When I was little,
my parents

424
00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:09,409
never flew together.

425
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:10,758
We thought it was
because they loved us,

426
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:13,543
but it turns out
they hated each other.

427
00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:15,415
See?

428
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,417
I just think
I shouldn't go.

429
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,158
Actually, this is much safer
than driving a car.

430
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:21,072
Stay out of it, flyboy!

431
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,293
You're right.
[chuckles]

432
00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:26,295
But I've done this before.

433
00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:28,515
And since you really,
really want to go,

434
00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:29,733
I'll stay here.

435
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,345
Oh. Great.

436
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:35,217
Unless you don't want to because
I was right and I do know you.

437
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:37,915
Well, if you really know me,
then you know how far I'll go

438
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,221
to prove a point.Apparently,

439
00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:40,962
34,000 feet that way,
then straight back down,

440
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:42,181
up and down,
over and over again

441
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,748
until you throw up food
you didn't even eat.

442
00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:48,752
They are definitely
your weirdest friends.

443
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:50,276
If only that were true.

444
00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:54,454
[screaming]

445
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:57,979
I hate this so much!

446
00:19:58,022 --> 00:20:00,590
Why am I doing this?!

447
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:04,028
To prove a stupid point
to your husband!

448
00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:06,030
Oh, right. Worth it.

449
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,344
Hey, Zack.

450
00:20:15,388 --> 00:20:19,000
Um, look, I-I know this
is gonna be disappointing,

451
00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:22,569
but, um, I-I can't do this.

452
00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:24,092
No, no, no, no.

453
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:27,530
I-I, I know how.I just can't.

454
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,577
[stammers]
But, hey, look,

455
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:31,882
i-if you like,

456
00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:34,407
I-I know someone
who might be interested.

457
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:37,410
No! Absolutely not!

458
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,327
I'm sorry,
my wife says I'm not allowed.

459
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:44,330
Captioning sponsored by
CBS, WARNER BROS. TELEVISION

460
00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:47,376
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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