1
00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:05,440
Hey, you guys have any
plans for Valentine's Day?

2
00:00:05,483 --> 00:00:07,268
Three months from now? No.

3
00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:09,009
What? No?I mean,

4
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:12,012
secret romantic plans that
would be ruined if I told you.Oh.

5
00:00:13,622 --> 00:00:15,406
What's going on, Raj?

6
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:17,495
Well, how would
you guys feel

7
00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:19,410
about going to India
for my wedding?

8
00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:21,978
Oh, that's so exciting!

9
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,285
Penny, you will never guess
what I have planned

10
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:27,114
for Valentine's Day.Uh-huh.

11
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:29,464
Can I feed peanuts to
the elephants at your wedding?

12
00:00:29,507 --> 00:00:32,336
That is such a stereotype!There won't be any elephants?

13
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:33,642
Of course there'll be elephants.

14
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:36,384
It's a stereotype
that you feed them peanuts.

15
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,734
Are you really gonna plan
a wedding in three months?

16
00:00:38,777 --> 00:00:41,128
Yeah, well, her family's
doing most of the work.

17
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:43,521
They're amazing.
We talk all the time.

18
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:44,566
Why?

19
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,437
Because we're
about to get married

20
00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:48,483
and they're gonna be my family.

21
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:51,834
Amy and I are married, and
I never talk to her family.

22
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:53,444
Really? My parents
love Leonard.

23
00:00:53,488 --> 00:00:55,446
Yeah. And my mom loves
Penny, which is weird,

24
00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:58,188
because I never
knew she could love.

25
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:01,539
And my dad has grown
to really...

26
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,454
like Howard.

27
00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:08,024
Yeah, there's a nice...
coolness between us.

28
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,200
Hey, guys,
before Anu gets here,

29
00:01:10,244 --> 00:01:12,811
can I talk about
the seating situation?

30
00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:14,509
I really don't want her
to sit on the floor.

31
00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:17,207
Oh. No problem.
Bernadette, floor.

32
00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:19,296
Hey!
Yeah, you can't
make my wife

33
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:20,863
sit on the floor.Fine.

34
00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:22,908
Howard, floor.

35
00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:24,693
Fine, I'll sit on the floor.

36
00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:25,955
Thank you, Penny.
And, Leonard,

37
00:01:25,998 --> 00:01:27,870
I was kind of hoping
I could sit next to Anu.

38
00:01:27,913 --> 00:01:29,959
So now Ihave to
sit on the floor?
It's my house.

39
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,352
Why can't Sheldon
sit on the floor?

40
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:34,050
That might be
the dumbest thing
you've ever said.

41
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,791
WOLOWITZ:
Guys, guys,

42
00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:37,575
there's a simple solution.

43
00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:40,752
I am not breaking up with her.

44
00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:45,366
All right. Let's
keep thinking.

45
00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:47,498
Hey, everybody, it's Anu.

46
00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:49,065
Hi.

47
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,458
ALL:
Hi! Welcome!

48
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:55,550
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

49
00:01:55,593 --> 00:01:59,075
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

50
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,816
♪ The Earth began to cool

51
00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:03,471
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

52
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,864
♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids♪

53
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:08,693
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

54
00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:10,608
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

55
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,175
♪ Bang!♪

56
00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,271
[groans]:
Oh, I am stuffed!

57
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:23,447
I should not have eaten
all those dumplings.

58
00:02:23,491 --> 00:02:25,710
[chuckles]

59
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:27,277
I think we should have sex.

60
00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:29,540
[passing horn honks]

61
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:33,370
[squeakily]:
Me, too.

62
00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,242
Yeah, it's just,
we haven't done it yet,

63
00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:36,634
and I think it's important

64
00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:38,419
to make sure we're compatible
before we get married.

65
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:39,811
I totally agree.

66
00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:41,422
Oh, just one question.

67
00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:43,424
While we're doing it,
can I leave my shirt on?

68
00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:46,862
You know, the dumplings,
pretty salty.

69
00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:48,951
It doesn't have
to be tonight.

70
00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:50,561
How about this weekend?

71
00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,302
I can get us a room
at my hotel.

72
00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:53,521
Okay. Sounds nice.

73
00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:55,479
We can order
a bunch of room service,

74
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:58,743
because I'm not eating anything
between now and then.

75
00:02:58,787 --> 00:03:00,745
Aw. Are you worried?

76
00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:01,964
I am not worried.

77
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:04,706
If anything, I'm overconfident.

78
00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:07,056
Edging into smug.

79
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,015
I'm sure it's
gonna be fine.

80
00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:11,974
Oh, it's gonna be
better than fine.

81
00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,932
Trust me,
I've had no complaints.

82
00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:14,977
Good to know.

83
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:17,545
Well, I've had
questions, comments,

84
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:18,937
some constructive criticism,

85
00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:21,201
[snorts]:
but... no complaints.

86
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:25,901
You're up early.

87
00:03:25,944 --> 00:03:28,251
Huh? Yes. I wanted
to get a jump

88
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,427
on planning
a day of fun for you.

89
00:03:30,471 --> 00:03:31,646
Oh, that's sweet.
What are we doing?

90
00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:33,778
Oh, no. Just you.
I have other plans.

91
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:38,914
Now, would you prefer
to see The Grinchin 2-D or 3-D?

92
00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:41,438
I don't want to see it at all.

93
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:44,746
Well, let's go 2-D. No sense
in spending extra money.

94
00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,661
What are you
gonna be doing?

95
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,445
Being a great husband.

96
00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:50,795
Yeah, you're gonna need
to show your work on that.

97
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:54,234
After last night,
I got to thinking

98
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:57,193
that I should have a better
relationship with your family.

99
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,326
I think the one you have
with them is perfect.

100
00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:00,718
I hardly have one at all.

101
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:02,851
Which is perfect.

102
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:05,027
Oh, Amy, they're
important to you,

103
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,855
and you're
important to me.

104
00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,683
Therefore, according to
the transitive property,

105
00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:10,772
they're important to me.
It's the same reason

106
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,426
I'm interested
in your big, flat feet.

107
00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:17,039
Well, you know
that my mom can be...

108
00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:19,694
well, difficult
to get along with.Which is why

109
00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:22,566
I'm starting with your dad
and working my way up.

110
00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,351
All right.
I'm just worried

111
00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:26,788
you might have
a rather unpleasant day.

112
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,355
Yeah, back at ya.
I watched the trailer

113
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,660
for The Grinch--
it looks terrible.

114
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,795
[knocking]

115
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:36,145
Hi, Sheldon.
Oh, good.
You're right on time.

116
00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:38,365
Hi, Daddy.Hey, pumpkin.

117
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:41,803
Pumpkin? I've been
calling her spaghetti squash.

118
00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,283
It's amazing
that one woman

119
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:45,633
can be different vegetables
to different men.

120
00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:47,374
Bye.

121
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:48,679
Bye.

122
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:50,681
So, how does this work
with in-laws?

123
00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:52,683
Am I supposed
to be calling you Dad?

124
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:54,206
Because I don't want to.

125
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,600
You don't have to.Oh, thanks, Larry.

126
00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:58,602
Ooh. That doesn't
sound right.

127
00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:01,301
[gasps] Maybe I should pick
a vegetable for you.

128
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,740
[video game noises on TV]

129
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,872
Hey, Leonard, can you pause
the game for a second?

130
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:10,788
Uh, hang on.
I'm about to beat Howard.

131
00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:11,963
What? Hey!

132
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,704
What?

133
00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:15,010
He's our friend.

134
00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:17,273
What's up, pal?

135
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:21,233
I... I don't know
how else to say this,

136
00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:24,933
but, um, Anu and I are going
to have sex tonight.

137
00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:27,501
Yeah...

138
00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:30,808
Do you know how creepy
that sounds?

139
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:33,289
Yeah...

140
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,772
So, is this the first time?

141
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:38,860
Yeah.

142
00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:40,818
How you feeling
about it?
Uh...

143
00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,516
to be honest,
I'm pretty anxious.

144
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:45,867
I mean, this is the woman I'm
marrying-- what if it's no good?

145
00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:47,434
Do we break up?
Do we...

146
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:50,393
sign on for a lifetime
of mediocre sex?

147
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,482
Just don't put
so much pressure on it.

148
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,571
It's always a little awkward
in the beginning.

149
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,747
I remember the first time
I slept with Penny.

150
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:57,792
It was bad?

151
00:05:57,835 --> 00:06:00,272
Oh, it was awesome!

152
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:06,017
I will replay it in my head
until the day I die.

153
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:08,063
WOLOWITZ:
Well, if it helps,
I was really nervous

154
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,760
my first time with Bernie.

155
00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:14,635
Mostly because I was worried
my mom would walk in.

156
00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:15,375
Did she?

157
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,855
Yea-- Yeah.

158
00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:20,467
BERNADETTE:
I'll tell you
one thing.

159
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:22,599
Lock the door.

160
00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:24,819
Yeah, Raj, you're
gonna be fine.

161
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:26,821
Just break out some
of your Kama Sutra moves.

162
00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:28,823
I don't really know
any of that stuff.

163
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:30,955
I just pretend I do
to impress women.

164
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:31,956
And by the way,

165
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,697
Anu is Indian--
she's gonna know

166
00:06:33,741 --> 00:06:37,179
there's no sexual position
called a "screeching lotus."

167
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:39,094
Screeching lotus?

168
00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:41,836
Sometimes I get leg cramps.
It's my cover story.

169
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,839
Look, she's probably
nervous, too.

170
00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:47,450
Yeah, what if you'regreat
and she'sbad?

171
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:48,669
How can she be bad?

172
00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:51,628
Raj, women can be
bad at sex, too.

173
00:06:51,672 --> 00:06:53,891
[laughs]:
No, that's silly.

174
00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:59,636
Hey, have you checked
the dates on these?

175
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,246
They're all expired.

176
00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:04,075
You buy candy in a comic book
store, you get what you get.

177
00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:07,252
It's called Lethal Weapon,

178
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:08,950
but isn't that
redundant?

179
00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:11,126
Aren't weapons,
by their very nature, lethal?

180
00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:12,823
I suppose you're right.

181
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:15,086
Yeah, and don't even get me
started on Unsolved Mysteries.

182
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:17,611
I didn't get you started
on Lethal Weapon.

183
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:21,353
All right, this is another one
of my favorite places,

184
00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:24,226
the comic book store.
Feel free to look around.

185
00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:28,056
Vintage comics in back,
vintage candy right here.

186
00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:30,188
What are you guys up to?

187
00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:32,887
Oh, father-in-law,
son-in-law bonding.
It's going great.

188
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,976
Look at what he bought me
at the train store.

189
00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:36,717
[blows whistle]

190
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,894
Yeah, it sounded louder
in the car.

191
00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:41,330
Cool. Can I see it?

192
00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:42,462
Hmm? Sure.

193
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:44,899
Oh. Interesting.

194
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:47,423
I think this is one of those
disappearing whistles.

195
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,512
What are you
talking about?

196
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:50,818
[claps hands]

197
00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:52,036
Voilà!

198
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,517
Amazing.

199
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:57,389
Where did it go?

200
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:59,304
Look in your pocket.

201
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:01,829
[gasping]:
Oh! Oh!

202
00:08:01,872 --> 00:08:04,527
Oh, how did you do that?

203
00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:09,314
Sorry, a magician
never shares his secrets.

204
00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:10,446
I'll give you
a hundred bucks.

205
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,969
Sold!

206
00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:13,057
Okay.

207
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:14,929
Hey.

208
00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:16,974
Where's my wallet?Voilà!

209
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:22,545
Hey, Penny.
I need your help.

210
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,547
I am freaking out.

211
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:25,853
Okay, is she there yet?

212
00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:27,898
No, I got here first.
You know...

213
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:30,684
get the lay of the land.

214
00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:32,512
Raj, it's gonna be okay.
Look, sex isn't

215
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:34,252
the most important thing
in a relationship.

216
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:38,474
My first time with Leonard
was nothing to write home about.

217
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,736
Really?

218
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:41,608
Yeah, but, you know,
over time it got better.

219
00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:43,174
S-So practice makes perfect?

220
00:08:43,218 --> 00:08:46,003
Well, practice makes better.

221
00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:48,571
[phone chimes]

222
00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:51,661
Oh, my God, oh, my God, she just
texted. She's on her way up!

223
00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:53,402
Raj, calm down.
You got this.

224
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,709
Yes. Thank you, thank you.
I got this.

225
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,841
Just remember, the most
important thing is to have fun.

226
00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:00,148
Stop putting
so much pressure on me!

227
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:05,283
Hi.

228
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:17,252
Everything okay?

229
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:24,041
Why are you acting
so weird?

230
00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:29,569
Raj? What's going on?

231
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,005
[champagne cork pops]

232
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:34,269
Be right out!
You look beautiful!

233
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:45,236
Sorry, I had to use
the facilities.

234
00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:49,153
With a bottle of champagne?

235
00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:51,591
Mm, I like to celebrate
the little things in life.

236
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:55,507
You need to go?
There's still some left.

237
00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:59,903
Raj, what is going on?No, no, it's not
what's going on,

238
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:01,905
it's what's comin' off.

239
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:03,298
Stop it.

240
00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:06,388
You're acting weird,
and it's freaking me out.

241
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:08,869
Why? Because I couldn't talk
and ran in the bathroom

242
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,653
to slug back a
bottle of champagne

243
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:13,047
when I pretended to pee?

244
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:15,440
Okay, I think I'm gonna leave.

245
00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:17,704
No, no, wait, wait,
don't-- okay, don't go.

246
00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:20,054
Fine. Then tell me
what's going on.

247
00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:23,231
Well, funny story...

248
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:27,104
The truth.Oh, God, the truth is
so not good for me!

249
00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:32,283
Voilà.

250
00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:33,676
Darn it.

251
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,721
It's okay.

252
00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,461
Here, let me
show you again.

253
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:43,599
It's like you're
actually magic.

254
00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:48,648
You can do that but you still
can't get my bra off.

255
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:53,522
The rings don't roll
their eyes at me.

256
00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:57,091
Excuse me, Turnip,
we need to get going.

257
00:10:57,134 --> 00:11:00,660
But-but Howard was gonna show me
some close-up magic.

258
00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:02,226
Well, if you want
to see real magic,

259
00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:03,706
I'll take you
to Union Station,

260
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,839
home to trains, subways
and busses that,

261
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:09,277
every half hour-- voilà--
drive to the airport.

262
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,714
I'd like to stay,
if you don't mind.

263
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:12,933
Oh, not at all.

264
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:15,762
Howard. A word.

265
00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:18,852
What's up?

266
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:21,985
I need you to stop
being so delightful.
What?

267
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:23,421
I'm supposed to be
bonding with him.

268
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,685
You have your own father-in-law;
leave mine alone.

269
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,687
Tell you what, you take my
father-in-law, I'll take yours.

270
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:28,775
I don't want
your father-in-law.

271
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:32,561
What if I throw in
a quarter?

272
00:11:32,604 --> 00:11:34,781
Do it again.
Do it again.

273
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:39,699
Mrs. Fowler.
Mrs. Fowler.

274
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,701
Mrs. Fowler.

275
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,747
Sheldon, what's going on?

276
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:45,966
Where is Larry?

277
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,664
Oh, Turnip's out;
I'm bonding with you.

278
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:56,541
Okay, you wanted the truth,
here it is.

279
00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:57,760
You have a drinking problem.

280
00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:01,590
No. I, uh,
I have a talking problem,

281
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:04,419
and a drinking solution.

282
00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:05,812
What does that mean?

283
00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:08,553
[sighs]

284
00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:11,818
Oh, Anu, for
most of my life,

285
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,907
I got so nervous
around women

286
00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:16,126
that I couldn't talk
to them without alcohol.

287
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:19,086
So you've been drunk every time
we've seen each other?

288
00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:20,957
No. No. It hasn't
happened in a long time.

289
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,785
And I really thought
I was over it,

290
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:25,788
but I guess...
I-I don't know,

291
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:28,312
I guess I-I wanted so much
for tonight to go well,

292
00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:30,619
that I-I stressed
myself out.

293
00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:32,012
It came back.

294
00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:33,883
[sighs]

295
00:12:33,927 --> 00:12:36,016
Why didn't you tell me
about this before?

296
00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:38,758
I was embarrassed.

297
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,760
I get that.

298
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:44,589
If it makes you
feel any better,

299
00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:47,636
I've got things
I'm embarrassed about, too.

300
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,899
Really? Will you
tell me one?

301
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:52,859
Okay. Um...

302
00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:55,775
Ugh. I hate
telling people this.

303
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:59,648
I don't like music.

304
00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:02,216
What kind of music?

305
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:04,827
Just all of it.

306
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:08,657
It sort of seems
like a waste of time.

307
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:12,835
Even Beyoncé?

308
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,663
See, this is why
I don't tell people.

309
00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:16,230
No. Um, it's fine.
It's just,

310
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:20,147
have you heard
"Single Ladies"?

311
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:21,931
Yeah, and I don't get it.

312
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:24,238
I mean, the lyrics are
"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh."

313
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:27,937
Y-You have to sing it in
the voice of a goddess.

314
00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:29,809
Like: ♪ Oh, wa-ah, oh

315
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,375
♪ Wa-ah, oh

316
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:32,768
♪ Oh, oh, oh

317
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,118
♪ Wa-ah, oh.
[laughs]

318
00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:38,861
My point is, we both have
our little eccentricities.

319
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,776
Little eccentricities?

320
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,866
One is a deep-seated
psychological disturbance,

321
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,129
and the other can be solved by
half a glass of chardonnay.

322
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:53,789
So the doctor prescribed Nizoral
and it blocked enzyme action,

323
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:57,140
and the fungus
cleared right up.

324
00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,970
That's a very
disturbing picture.

325
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:03,407
Yes, well, they say a picture's
worth a thousand words,

326
00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:06,236
but I say nothing beats a
picture and a thousand words.

327
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:10,850
Still, you might want
to take it off Facebook.

328
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:13,069
Oh, no. It's in my nature
to share.

329
00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:15,985
So, your turn.

330
00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:17,900
Uh, other than Amy,

331
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:21,817
have you every had anything
removed from your body?

332
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:27,736
I am not going to answer that.

333
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:30,565
Smart. Save something for
our next get-together.

334
00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:33,437
Oh, we should commemorate
this one with a selfie.

335
00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:41,010
Oh, look at us,
two peas in a pod.

336
00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:42,751
Oh, speaking of vegetables,

337
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:46,059
how about I start calling you
Old Lady Green Beans?

338
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:52,892
Hey, you look
deep in thought.

339
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,546
Ah, I'm just reflecting.About what?

340
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,940
The first time
we slept together.

341
00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,725
Oh, honey. Don't beat
yourself up; it's great now.

342
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:05,687
This is not good.

343
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:06,993
Sheldon is hanging out
with my mom.

344
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:08,342
Yeah. O-One sec.

345
00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:10,953
W-What do you mean,
"don't beat myself up"?

346
00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:13,086
AMY:
Guys, focus.

347
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,131
My mom thinks
that Sheldon is the reason

348
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:16,524
I don't spend a lot of time
with her.

349
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:17,960
Well, why would
she think that?

350
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,005
Because I told her.

351
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:21,659
You need a cup of coffee?
Wake up!

352
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:24,010
So you've been using Sheldon
as an excuse

353
00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:25,837
to get out of
seeing your mother?

354
00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:27,535
[sighs] I know.

355
00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:29,015
I feel terrible.

356
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:31,669
I love my mom but,
you know, sometimes...

357
00:15:31,713 --> 00:15:34,672
Yeah. We-We've met her. Yeah.

358
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:37,284
And it's easier to say
I can't spend time with her

359
00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:41,418
because of Sheldon than to admit
that I just, I don't want to.

360
00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,116
Totally understandable.

361
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,813
I'll ask again,
what do you mean,

362
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:46,815
"don't beat myself up"?

363
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,993
And then you ask me 20
questions to try to determine

364
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:53,300
which Nobel Prize-winning
physicist I am.

365
00:15:53,343 --> 00:15:54,866
Ready? Go.

366
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:01,003
Can I give up?

367
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:03,919
No. 19 questions left.

368
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,965
[ringtone playing]

369
00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:11,971
Are you gonna get that?

370
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:14,060
Oh, no. We're in the
middle of a game.

371
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:18,978
18 questions left.

372
00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:22,285
Answer the phone,
Sheldon.

373
00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:25,071
Hello, Amy.

374
00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:26,898
Hey, how's it going?

375
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:30,163
Well, Howard lured your dad away
with magic,

376
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,991
so now I'm bonding
with your mom.

377
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:36,996
I think she likes me.

378
00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:40,912
I'd like you a lot better

379
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:43,176
if you weren't keeping
my daughter away from me.

380
00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:44,655
Uh, wh-- Hang on, Amy.

381
00:16:44,699 --> 00:16:47,528
What's the problem,
Green Beans?

382
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:50,966
Amy said she couldn't come
to Thanksgiving dinner

383
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,012
because you always have
to spend it with your mother.

384
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,623
I haven't spent Thanksgiving
with my mother in years.

385
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,365
Amy, why would you tell
your mother

386
00:16:58,408 --> 00:16:59,975
that I spend Thanksgiving
with my mother?

387
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,022
Uh, no time
to talk about that now.

388
00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:04,936
All your action figures
are on fire.

389
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,460
Harrison Ford's in the lobby.
Come quick.

390
00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:11,421
And Amy never joins us
for Sunday dinners

391
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:13,641
because you refuse to go out
on a school night.

392
00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:16,165
Sh-- I can go out
on a school night

393
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:18,515
as long as I'm in
my PJs by 10:00.

394
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:21,083
Sheldon, don't listen to her.

395
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,215
She doesn't know
what she's talking about.

396
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:25,218
She's crazy!

397
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:27,046
Hello, Amy.

398
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,397
Hello, Mother.

399
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:37,099
Great news. We-we can come
for Thanksgiving this year.

400
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,581
I can't believe it.

401
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,278
All this time
I've been angry at you

402
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:43,888
when I should have
been angry at Amy.

403
00:17:43,932 --> 00:17:46,326
Look at that.
We're both angry at Amy.

404
00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:49,024
Maybe that's something
we could bond over.

405
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:51,418
Let me ask you this:

406
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,507
how do you feel about Howard?

407
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:57,119
Oh, is he that odd little friend
you have with the haircut?

408
00:17:57,163 --> 00:18:00,601
I may have married
the wrong Fowler.

409
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:06,737
Why would Amy feel
the need to lie to me?

410
00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:07,999
Well, perhaps because
you're her mother

411
00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:09,653
and she didn't want
to disappoint you.

412
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:11,612
Really?

413
00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:13,701
Even after she threw you
under the bus,

414
00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:15,311
you're still
gonna defend her.

415
00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:16,965
Oh, yes.

416
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:18,488
She's my wife
and I love her.

417
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:20,795
And if I can forgive her for
putting ketchup on her eggs,

418
00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:23,145
I can forgive her for this.

419
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:26,888
Her father does that,
it's disgusting.

420
00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:30,021
Amy's crazy,
you are a delight.

421
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:40,206
Good morning.

422
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:42,121
Mm. Good morning.

423
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:43,339
I ordered some coffee for us.

424
00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:46,168
Oh, fantastic.

425
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:47,996
[sighs]

426
00:18:48,039 --> 00:18:49,650
Last night was...

427
00:18:49,693 --> 00:18:51,391
wonderful.

428
00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:55,090
[sighs] But all we
did was talk.

429
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,571
Yeah. And it was wonderful.

430
00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:59,921
Am I safe to assume
you talking to me now

431
00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:01,966
is a good sign
for our marriage?

432
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,230
[chuckles] Yeah,
and-and for my liver.

433
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:07,624
Hey, about the other thing.

434
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,496
Um...

435
00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:11,933
Should we just wait
for another night?

436
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:16,459
Or I go take a shower,

437
00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:18,896
and you decide how
you want to play this.

438
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:27,166
Take a shower with me, Raj.

439
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:37,176
Thank you, Amy.

440
00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:38,655
It's so nice of you
to have us over for dinner.

441
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:42,616
[chuckles] Couldn't think
of a single reason not to.

442
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:45,053
Yeah, and boy,
did she try.

443
00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:47,011
Thank you, honey.

444
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:48,187
Oh, you're welcome, dear.

445
00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:52,103
Would anyone like to see the
magic trick Howard taught me?

446
00:19:52,147 --> 00:19:54,845
I'd love to see your trick,
Daddy.

447
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,243
A perfectly ordinary
table knife.

448
00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:02,940
[exhales]

449
00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:07,467
Watch closely.

450
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:09,730
Voilà.

451
00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:13,124
Oh, my gosh,
that was so good.

452
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:21,481
Well, look,
there's fake blood, too.

453
00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:25,049
I'll be right back.

454
00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:32,056
I don't know about you,
but I don't really like magic.

455
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:36,322
You just keep getting
better and better.

456
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:37,758
Captioning sponsored by
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457
00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:41,762
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION

458
00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:44,808
Captioned by
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